1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,020 Hello and welcome. My name is Kyle and this is How You Level Up, a podcast that decodes language 2 00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:23,100 to help you become your best self. Today we're asking what is optimism? Let's start with the 3 00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:29,040 idea that you're thinking about optimism incorrectly. I know this because I was thinking 4 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:36,000 about it wrong too. For years, I understood optimism as a disposition, something you either 5 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:43,740 had or didn't, like brown eyes or an aptitude for math. Optimistic people were the ones who smiled 6 00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:50,660 more, were able to find silver linings who believed things would work out. They had a sunnier internal 7 00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:56,880 weather system than the rest of us. This understanding is not only incomplete, it's dangerous. 8 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:02,020 because if optimism is a personality trait, then it's either something you were born with 9 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:08,120 or something you're not. And if you're not naturally optimistic, well, you're simply at 10 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:13,960 a disadvantage in life. Not only will you face struggles in the external world, you'll also 11 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:19,800 always combat internal negative self-talk. The game is rigged before you even start playing. 12 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:26,640 I don't believe this to be true. I cannot believe this to be true. Why? Because I'm an 13 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:33,380 optimist, and I wasn't always. So if it has nothing to do with personality, if it's not a feeling, 14 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:41,360 what is optimism? Most of what we call optimism is actually something else. Wishful thinking, 15 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:47,920 denial, or simple naivety. It's the college graduate who believes their degree guarantees 16 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:53,580 success. The entrepreneur who thinks their idea can't fail because they want it badly enough. 17 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:58,860 The person who insists everything happens for a reason, while their life falls apart around them. 18 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:05,680 And by the way, I dislike this statement, that everything happens for a reason, or it's in God's hands, 19 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,440 because there's an implied denial of action ownership. 20 00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:15,520 When you hear optimism as wishful thinking, you could say it's passive optimism. 21 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,560 It's a belief that things will be okay without your intervention. 22 00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,400 It's optimism as spectator sport. 23 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:32,020 You're in the stands watching your life unfold, confident that the narrative arc will bend toward your favor because, well, because it should. 24 00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:38,500 Because you're a good person. Because you've suffered enough already. Because the universe is supposed to be fair. 25 00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:46,940 Passive optimism is a beautiful anesthetic. It feels good right up until it really hits. 26 00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:54,640 Passive optimism is insidious. It masquerades as positivity while actually breeding paralysis. 27 00:02:55,540 --> 00:03:00,380 When you believe things will work out on their own, you don't need to do anything. You can sit 28 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:05,780 with your problems, turn them over in your head, talk about it endlessly with friends. You can 29 00:03:05,780 --> 00:03:12,200 ruminate. And rumination, as psychologist Abigail Schreier points out, is the number one symptom 30 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:19,500 of depression. Not sadness, not hopelessness, rumination. The continuous thinking and focus 31 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:33,145 on problems talking about problems reliving problems it the mental equivalent of pressing on a bruise over and over convinced that if you think about it hard enough understand it deeply enough the bruise will heal itself 32 00:03:33,845 --> 00:03:35,645 What a surprise it won't. 33 00:03:36,765 --> 00:03:39,265 Passive optimism and rumination share a bed. 34 00:03:39,825 --> 00:03:41,585 They share the same fundamental error. 35 00:03:42,165 --> 00:03:44,885 They both mistake mental activity for actual movement. 36 00:03:45,565 --> 00:03:48,885 They both confuse thinking about the problem with solving it. 37 00:03:48,885 --> 00:03:57,645 In one podcast on the Tim Ferriss Show, Kevin Kelly drew a distinction that should rewire how 38 00:03:57,645 --> 00:04:03,285 we think about optimism entirely. He separated passive optimism, the belief that things will be 39 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:10,905 okay, from active optimism, the commitment that I will work to make things okay. Hear that again, 40 00:04:10,905 --> 00:04:16,965 feel the difference. Passive optimism is believing that things will work out okay. 41 00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:26,085 Active optimism is the commitment to work and make things okay. Active optimism is not a prediction. 42 00:04:26,665 --> 00:04:33,505 It's not faith in favorable outcomes. It's a work ethic. It's the decision to remain in motion 43 00:04:33,505 --> 00:04:38,565 even when the path forward is unclear, even when success is far from guaranteed, 44 00:04:39,185 --> 00:04:46,225 even when you're feeling incompetent or things feel impossible. This reframe changes everything 45 00:04:46,225 --> 00:04:52,465 because active optimism is not something you have or don't have. It's something you do. It's a 46 00:04:52,465 --> 00:05:00,025 practice, a discipline, a craft. You can develop regardless of your temperament or your circumstances 47 00:05:00,025 --> 00:05:06,905 or how you feel on any given Tuesday morning. Think about the last time you chose a harder path 48 00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:12,625 when an easier one was available. Maybe you took the stairs instead of an elevator. Maybe you started 49 00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:17,525 learning a new skill from scratch because you needed to complete some project. Maybe you had 50 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:24,145 a difficult conversation instead of avoiding it. In that moment, you were practicing active optimism 51 00:05:24,145 --> 00:05:29,085 because you believed that your effort would matter, would make a difference. 52 00:05:30,265 --> 00:05:34,545 I've noticed something on hiking trails. I get happier the harder the trail becomes. 53 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:40,965 Not despite the difficulty, but because of it. The steep incline, the uncertain footing, 54 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:45,505 the burning in my legs, these things mean fewer people will follow this path. 55 00:05:46,105 --> 00:05:50,965 And if fewer people are here, then I'm somewhere that requires something of me. 56 00:05:51,605 --> 00:05:56,205 I'm somewhere where my effort matters, where my effort makes a difference. 57 00:05:57,345 --> 00:06:00,045 This is what active optimism feels like. 58 00:06:00,305 --> 00:06:02,345 It's not the absence of difficulty. 59 00:06:02,665 --> 00:06:06,285 It's the presence of agency in the face of difficulty. 60 00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:10,045 Let's acknowledge a simple truth. 61 00:06:10,045 --> 00:06:12,165 Maybe you've heard this truth before. 62 00:06:13,065 --> 00:06:16,045 Everything sucks until you get good at it. 63 00:06:16,845 --> 00:06:23,205 The Buddhists would say this is the first noble truth of their practice, which is life is filled with suffering. 64 00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:26,825 Writing sucks when you're learning grammar. 65 00:06:27,505 --> 00:06:29,645 Exercise sucks when you're out of shape. 66 00:06:30,505 --> 00:06:34,085 Difficult conversation sucks when you're not ready or prepared. 67 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:38,885 Your passion project will suck for longer than you think is reasonable. 68 00:06:38,885 --> 00:06:45,305 Some of us have been sold this lie. The lie is that we should never turn your passion into work 69 00:06:45,305 --> 00:07:02,571 because then it becomes work This assumes that what you passionate about now will remain joyful and effortless forever while the thing that pays your bills will remain drudgery Both assumptions are wrong The alternative view the one that actually tracks 70 00:07:02,571 --> 00:07:09,451 with reality, is that everything will suck. So you might as well choose what you're willing to suck 71 00:07:09,451 --> 00:07:15,191 at. Keep doing the things that you suck at until you become competent, and then mysteriously, 72 00:07:15,191 --> 00:07:20,411 you'll start to enjoy the things you used to hate. This is the competence paradox, 73 00:07:20,891 --> 00:07:26,331 and it's central to understanding active optimism. Again, passive optimism says, 74 00:07:26,871 --> 00:07:31,391 I should only do things I'm naturally good at, things that feel good, things that come easily. 75 00:07:32,231 --> 00:07:37,551 Active optimism says, I will become the kind of person who is good at this thing that currently 76 00:07:37,551 --> 00:07:44,991 feels impossible. The difference? One is a state of being. The other is a commitment to becoming. 77 00:07:45,191 --> 00:07:49,851 The optimistic act is not believing you'll succeed. 78 00:07:50,331 --> 00:07:54,951 It's believing that your incompetence is temporary, that your capacity can expand, 79 00:07:54,951 --> 00:08:02,491 that the gap between where you are and where you want to be can be closed through sheer accumulated effort. 80 00:08:04,071 --> 00:08:10,811 This is uncomfortable because it means optimism requires you to suffer through being bad at things. 81 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:13,331 It means choosing the hard trail. 82 00:08:13,331 --> 00:08:17,531 It means turning pro at something, as Steven Pressfield would say. 83 00:08:18,391 --> 00:08:25,151 Are you willing to sacrifice other immediate pleasures for a thing you're not yet good at, possibly until the end of time? 84 00:08:26,111 --> 00:08:28,971 This is not optimism as we usually understand it. 85 00:08:29,191 --> 00:08:30,711 It's closer to a vow. 86 00:08:32,131 --> 00:08:38,351 So what is optimism stripped of all motivational poster nonsense freed from the tyranny of positive thinking? 87 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,611 Optimism is not a feeling. 88 00:08:41,191 --> 00:08:42,031 It's not confidence. 89 00:08:42,031 --> 00:08:48,951 it's not the belief that things will work out. It's not even hope really. Optimism is the 90 00:08:48,951 --> 00:08:56,031 commitment to remain in motion when outcomes are uncertain. That's it. That's the whole thing. 91 00:08:57,431 --> 00:09:02,771 It's the decision to take one more step on the trail when you can't see the summit. It's showing 92 00:09:02,771 --> 00:09:08,311 up to practice when you're still terrible. It's turning the water to cold in the shower and hanging 93 00:09:08,311 --> 00:09:13,891 in there for another 30 seconds. It's sending the email, having the conversation, making the thing, 94 00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:19,371 learning the skill, not because you know it will work, because you've decided your effort matters, 95 00:09:19,711 --> 00:09:27,891 even if it doesn't. What does this reframe do for you? First, it means optimism is available 96 00:09:27,891 --> 00:09:33,871 to everyone. You don't need a sunny disposition. You don't need to believe in yourself. You don't 97 00:09:33,871 --> 00:09:39,611 need to feel good about your chances. You just need to decide that you'll keep working to make 98 00:09:39,611 --> 00:09:46,931 things okay, regardless of how you feel about it. The depressed person can be optimistic. The anxious 99 00:09:46,931 --> 00:09:53,551 person can be optimistic. The person who has failed repeatedly and has every rational reason to believe 100 00:09:53,551 --> 00:10:00,571 they'll fail again, they can be optimistic too. Because optimism is not your emotional state or 101 00:10:00,571 --> 00:10:03,631 your track record. It's about whether you're still moving. 102 00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:11,711 Another thing that this reframe does is it means that the opposite of optimism is not pessimism. 103 00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:17,711 The opposite of optimism is paralysis. It's rumination. It's the endless mental churning 104 00:10:17,711 --> 00:10:30,236 that mistakes thinking for doing analyzing for acting understanding for attempting to solve You can be the most negative cynical pessimistic person in the world and still be optimistic 105 00:10:30,236 --> 00:10:31,916 in the ways that matter. 106 00:10:32,456 --> 00:10:38,556 You can believe everything will fail, probably fail, and still be actively working to make 107 00:10:38,556 --> 00:10:39,096 it succeed. 108 00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:46,456 It's possible that this combination might be the most powerful form of optimism there 109 00:10:46,456 --> 00:10:46,796 is. 110 00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:52,016 eyes wide open to the difficulty and committed to the work anyway. 111 00:10:54,576 --> 00:10:59,796 Lastly, this reframe, it means that you can assess your own optimism by looking at your 112 00:10:59,796 --> 00:11:07,736 behavior, not your thoughts. Are you in motion? Are you building capacity? Are you doing the 113 00:11:07,736 --> 00:11:12,516 thing that sucks because you believe your competence will eventually catch up to your 114 00:11:12,516 --> 00:11:19,216 commitment? If yes, then you're optimistic. It doesn't matter how you feel about it. 115 00:11:20,276 --> 00:11:24,176 The hard trail makes you happier not because difficulty is inherently good, 116 00:11:24,556 --> 00:11:31,436 rather because it proves something to you about yourself. You're still walking. You didn't take 117 00:11:31,436 --> 00:11:36,356 the easy path. You didn't turn back. You chose the thing that required something of you, 118 00:11:36,356 --> 00:11:44,916 and you're meeting that requirement. This is the evidence of optimism. Not mood, not self-talk. 119 00:11:45,616 --> 00:11:52,496 It is your motion. Practically speaking, if you adopt this reframe of optimism, you can now 120 00:11:52,496 --> 00:11:57,636 stop trying to feel optimistic. Stop trying to convince yourself that things will work out. 121 00:11:57,636 --> 00:12:06,096 Stop waiting for the belief to arrive before you start moving. Just move. Just move. 122 00:12:07,216 --> 00:12:14,576 Active optimism is the antidote to rumination because it redirects your energy from thoughts to your hands. 123 00:12:15,296 --> 00:12:21,896 It's the cure for passive optimism because it removes the illusion that the universe will intervene on your behalf. 124 00:12:22,356 --> 00:12:28,636 It's the answer to the competence paradox because it accepts that everything sucks until it doesn't. 125 00:12:29,596 --> 00:12:32,136 And the only way through is through. 126 00:12:33,396 --> 00:12:35,176 You don't need to believe in yourself. 127 00:12:35,176 --> 00:12:49,216 You just need to believe that your effort matters, that your motion creates possibility, that the gap between incompetence and mastery is measured and accumulated after attempts rather than innate talent. 128 00:12:50,276 --> 00:12:51,816 Everything else is commentary. 129 00:12:53,516 --> 00:13:02,296 Like any craft, you get better at it the more you do it, not because it's easier, but because you become more capable of completing harder things. 130 00:13:02,296 --> 00:13:06,556 The question isn't whether you're an optimistic person. 131 00:13:07,276 --> 00:13:09,876 The question is, are you still moving? 132 00:13:32,296 --> 00:13:34,976 anyone, anywhere, facing any challenge. 133 00:13:35,476 --> 00:13:38,416 If there's a question or topic you'd like me to dive into next, 134 00:13:38,956 --> 00:13:41,716 send a note to any of my connected social media accounts. 135 00:13:42,296 --> 00:13:44,616 This is all about how you level up.