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You are listening to The Brian D. O'Leary Show, your sanctuary for

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serious content in an unserious culture.

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All right, Brian O'Leary here with you with, today with Scott Fischbuch,

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who is a Jungian Typology expert.

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We've had him on the show in the past and we got to know a little bit about Scott's

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story, how he got there and whatnot.

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But today, as per the promise of probably about a year ago, Scott, I think, but, a

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little more perhaps, I wanted to have you back on to do what you do best... for me.

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You agreed to do that, which is to type me and, how you do

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your business, which is called ToolsWithScott.com, the website's there.

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We've got a website that will be what, updated or maybe

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a brand new one, I believe.

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Yeah.

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Which , is, which is cool.

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It, it includes a lot of so originally the first website, I hadn't had a website

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and then I wanted to do a retreat, and so I made a website just for the

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retreat basically, which went very well.

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And now I'm building out a website that includes a more robust explanation of what

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I'm doing and how I do it, and then how to getting just a regular business website.

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It just sounds like a big deal to me since I haven't done it before, but yeah.

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Yeah.

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Coming soon, shall we say, which and then on there, your offerings

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would be one-on-one consulting and or coaching, depending on how you label

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that or how the client labels it.

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Mm-hmm.

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Corporate consulting the one-on one stuff really focuses on personal growth and

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a little bit of encouragement, I think based on what your typology, right?

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And then the corporate consulting is to kind get the, your teams working

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in conjunction with each other.

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What a little more fluidly, I believe you say.

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Yeah.

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Today what I had in mind, and I think we came to , consensus of the Minds is

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that we'll dive in head first to step one of what Scott Fischbuch does on his one

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on one personal consulting, and you're, we'll get a little flavor of what he does.

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And I'm an open book here.

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As far as I know, and Scott's just gonna do his work for us today, and

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it's like step one of Scott's program.

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So, a little flavor of what you might get working with Scott.

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And I know that a lot of people that I work with also work with

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Scott and nothing but good feedback.

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So here we go.

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Scott, I'm gonna give you the floor

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high praise.

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yeah, so, basically for, so, prior to, meeting, I'd have a,

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like a brief preamble, which is basically we're just gonna talk.

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And my job while we're talking is to pay attention to certain

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preferences in conversation and certain topics that they prefer.

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Certain terms of phrase, and that might sound really

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nondescript and kind of vague.

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But they fall into different categories, just like ingredients in a recipe.

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And I can say, okay, here's this ingredient, here's this ingredient.

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These ingredients go into a soup.

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These ingredients make up bread, right?

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And so that's exactly what I'm doing, except the ingredients in this case

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are topics, turns of phrase, certain behavioral mannerisms and so on.

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And then at the end we say this is a biscuit, or this is a right.

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And then to pause.

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There's lots of types of biscuits, but this is a bi.

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Okay, I don't want to get lost in that analogy.

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Say taste the biscuit.

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There's a nice internet meme going around taste the biscuit.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I got a quick question here.

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Can, if I got a, if I have a question, can I stop you or

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would you just prefer me to just.

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All right, so one quick question.

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You say turns of phrase, could that not only be personality typing,

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but what region of the country or the world you're from or Yeah.

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Is, are we talking about something entirely different?

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Yeah, absolutely.

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There, there's completely a cultural overlay onto a personality type.

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Yeah.

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You take somebody from that has an idiom from the northeast and put

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'em in the southwest and they don't know what they're talking about.

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Same thing if you go from, United States to Australia or England or whatever, it's

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I don't have any idea what you're saying.

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Right.

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Yeah.

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So absolutely.

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Cultural norms and preferences influence the way.

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A person develops the type of parents they have, everything

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influences a person's personality.

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What I'm getting at is not those influences, but the core wiring

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that those influences are a part of.

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So think of what I'm doing is I'm finding the make and model of your

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car, but what you've done and where you've been and who you've driven with,

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that's a completely different sphere.

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Got it.

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So you could go offroading with a minivan if you wanted to.

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Most minivans don't do that, but you could.

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And so what I'm trying to say is this is a minivan.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Alright.

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But let's roll.

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Let's do it.

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So tell me a little bit about what inspired your podcast and remember

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for the listener, what I'm trying to do is just pay attention to.

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Okay.

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It makes it a little less organic when I have to do the explanation, kind of

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like a comedian explaining why the funny,

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it's fine.

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Yeah, it's fine.

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Okay.

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Okay, cool.

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This is a masterclass, Scott, what you're doing.

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It's a masterclass.

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I'll answer the question.

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I've answered, I don't know if I've actually answered it on this podcast

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I have on others, but what inspired me to do podcasting in general is that I

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don't know the initial kernel, however I started listening to podcasts.

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Long ago, like before podcasts, I even had a pod or a phone to,

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I listen 'em on the computer.

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'cause it was like a lot of times just radio shows clipped down to

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listen to and reasonable size.

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And I was like, oh man, that's kind of neat.

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And then people actually had podcasts.

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I'm like, oh, that's cool.

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I always kinda wanted to do radio, but I didn't know how to do it.

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And then, fast forward like 10 years of I just, I have this in the back of my

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mind and I love to get into radio and get maybe a podcast might be a cool thing.

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I never did anything about it.

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Scott.

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I never did anything.

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I just like, oh, that'd be cool.

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I just, I don't even know where to start.

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And then in 2020, saw the world collapsing and I might have better start

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doing what I want to do or need to do.

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Right now, because I don't know if I'm ever gonna get a chance to do it again.

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So I called up a buddy of mine.

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I said, I've been thinking about doing the sports podcast

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for about five years, 10 years.

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I don't even know.

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Do you wanna do it with me?

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He's like, that'd be awesome.

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Let's do it.

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So we, yeah, recorded the first, or we did episode one, sat

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down, talked about some things.

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There was no sports going on, by the way, and it was called

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Sportlanders the Podcast.

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And we didn't even record the first episode because neither of

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us could figure out how to do that.

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It's not that hard, but it's just like one of those stumbling blocks.

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Anyway, fast forward few months.

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He doesn't have time to do it.

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I barely have time to do it, but I really like doing it, like scratched an itch.

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So I continued this podcast about sports until it got to the point

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where I'm just like, I can't, I. Do this on a regular basis because it's

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not as important to me as a lot of other things going on in the culture.

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And

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so sports kind of took a backseat and it's that was my life.

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And so I got in the Tom Woods School of Life and we started

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these accountability groups that you and I are now in one together.

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And I said, well, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

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I like, I I'm not gonna podcast anymore just because I don't want to do sports.

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They're like, you got a podcast, like you got the setup, you

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got the, you got it all.

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And I said, well, I don't really have any idea what I'm in a podcast about.

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And so they're like, you better just come up with an idea and

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present it to us next week.

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I'm like, oh boy.

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Well, I'm gonna get to work.

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So I've been writing a bunch of emails, and so I just read an

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email and put it out as a podcast.

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Little bit of commentary.

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Then I got Jeremy Evans on my podcast, and then they're like, all

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right what is your podcast about?

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I'm like, I dunno.

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And I said, well, I'm gonna have about a hundred of you people on the show, and

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that's going in to inform my direction.

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And Scott, you were one of the early ones on the show also, and I think we've got

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like 25 or 30 folks from the Tom Woods School of Life to tell their story on

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the on the program here, which is great.

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And it allowed me to keep doing this and have an inspiration to keep doing

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this along with speaking my own mind.

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And then it also opened up other doors to work more, actually, ironically,

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within the Tom Woods School of Life that it was something I was never

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expecting, but it's wonderful that I get to meet with, dozens of people

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every week and hear their stories.

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Not on a, public consumption podcast, but just like going back

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and forth and learn how to attack life, which is exactly what you do.

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And anyway, long story short is that keeps me going also to keep this podcast

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going and get my voice out there and get the voices of other people that

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I know that are inspiring out there.

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So anyway I hope that answered the question.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I think we're, so first off I've done it enough where I can do the thing.

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And also listen, really inspiring story.

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really cool.

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And then within that I have all of the little analytics going on.

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So now we can talk a little bit about some things that I noticed.

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So first you, most of what you're relaying, as you're talking

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about is your subjective personal experience in relation to the past.

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You were able to hop back into the past and say, this happened, then

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this happened, then this happened and then they all kind of came

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from you as a subjective source.

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So if that sounds confusing, what I mean is if you were at a oh, and just to label

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that, that's called introverted sensing.

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Okay.

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And so let's compare, let's contrast that with.

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A preference or a focus on the experience of other people to the exclusion of

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your own personal subjective awareness.

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So think about knowing what makes you comfortable versus knowing

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what makes someone else comfortable knowing what you've experienced in

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the past versus paying attention to what other people are experiencing.

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It's a, so that's the distinction line.

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So that's one thing I observed.

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And so if you're an in introverted sensor, you're also an extroverted intuitive.

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And so what that means is, what I want is not clear to me.

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What I want is not clear to me, but what I do prioritize is

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what other people want to do.

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So I want to be a facilitator of the goals and interests of others.

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By preference.

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It doesn't mean you will always do that.

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It just means it's a natural fit.

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It feels good to be delivering on what other people want.

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What do other people desire?

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Can I fulfill those goals and desires?

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And so that's the introverted sensing, extrovert intuition, axis.

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They flow together.

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We won't worry about explaining that in depth, but half of the

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personality types have that access.

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The other half have a different one.

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Okay.

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So right now we're down to eight.

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So as you're talking, you are staying on topic.

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On topic.

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Anyone who is listening to you.

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So I presented the question as, what inspired you to do the podcast you said.

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Here are the things relating to the movement of the podcast.

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In my experience, what drove me to do it, what the inspirations are, what

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key events happened in that in that movement, you stayed on topic throughout

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the entire arc of what you were saying.

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So that is called direct communication.

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And then also in that same vein, we have responding.

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So we have direct and responding.

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I am an informative communicator, which is the opposite side of direct, which

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means I pivot topics and hop around and say a bunch of words and allow

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people to select and choose what they do with the information that I provide.

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Direct communicators have a tendency to deliver the information that

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was requested, and that's it.

244
00:13:32,934 --> 00:13:34,044
What was requested.

245
00:13:34,164 --> 00:13:34,704
That's it.

246
00:13:35,184 --> 00:13:41,814
And the more informative you are, the more you expand from the point of reference,

247
00:13:41,814 --> 00:13:44,994
which is what inspired your podcast.

248
00:13:44,994 --> 00:13:48,504
So if you had asked me that question, I'm doing it right now, by the way.

249
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,174
I'm hopping around a lot.

250
00:13:51,174 --> 00:13:54,264
So if a listener was listening to me, this is what informative

251
00:13:54,264 --> 00:13:55,764
communication sounds like.

252
00:13:56,244 --> 00:14:02,284
And contrast that to what Brian is doing, which is topic focused,

253
00:14:02,434 --> 00:14:06,844
clear communication relating to the original question.

254
00:14:07,564 --> 00:14:09,454
And then mine is hopping around a lot.

255
00:14:09,604 --> 00:14:14,314
So Brian is a direct communicator and he is introverted sensing,

256
00:14:14,314 --> 00:14:16,114
extroverted intuition access.

257
00:14:16,114 --> 00:14:17,824
So now we're down to four types.

258
00:14:18,304 --> 00:14:21,754
There are only four types that have those trends in common.

259
00:14:22,174 --> 00:14:22,294
Okay.

260
00:14:23,134 --> 00:14:27,394
So we have ESTJ, ISTJ.

261
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,994
Who else would've the direct?

262
00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:36,084
So there's 16 in total, so I'm sort of running the 16th through my head,

263
00:14:36,144 --> 00:14:38,274
figuring out which ones do which.

264
00:14:38,274 --> 00:14:39,274
So I've done for it.

265
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:44,459
I've done like the tests, the Myers-Briggs analysis or something similar.

266
00:14:45,524 --> 00:14:49,409
And I think I've mentioned to you in the past what those revealed.

267
00:14:50,099 --> 00:14:50,969
Very confused.

268
00:14:51,179 --> 00:14:58,094
So I think the last one I took was IN is that, yeah.

269
00:14:58,099 --> 00:14:58,249
Okay.

270
00:14:58,309 --> 00:14:59,384
So I didn't know if that

271
00:15:00,644 --> 00:15:01,124
Right.

272
00:15:01,284 --> 00:15:02,484
So one thing.

273
00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:04,509
I don't even know what that means right now.

274
00:15:05,269 --> 00:15:11,929
So in intuitives have a preference for broad explanatory conversations

275
00:15:11,929 --> 00:15:14,089
relating to concepts and theories.

276
00:15:14,389 --> 00:15:17,479
They're also hyper future oriented.

277
00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:21,849
We wanna be projecting into the future, and I say we because I also would

278
00:15:21,849 --> 00:15:23,379
represent a member of this category.

279
00:15:23,679 --> 00:15:28,959
So let me explain some evidence and then you can decide if that fits.

280
00:15:29,449 --> 00:15:36,089
So I have said up until this point, that you are, and S and the points of reference

281
00:15:36,089 --> 00:15:39,569
I would use to argue that point are

282
00:15:39,989 --> 00:15:40,979
what does S mean?

283
00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:41,999
Direct.

284
00:15:41,999 --> 00:15:43,709
S means concrete.

285
00:15:43,739 --> 00:15:46,049
We don't have to explain anything.

286
00:15:46,919 --> 00:15:48,449
It's, it just is.

287
00:15:48,509 --> 00:15:50,669
So you say, I talk to my friend.

288
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:51,899
Okay.

289
00:15:51,899 --> 00:15:53,309
My friend's name is this.

290
00:15:54,339 --> 00:15:54,909
And then N?

291
00:15:54,909 --> 00:15:55,579
N would be what?

292
00:15:57,219 --> 00:16:02,289
I was on a journey of self-discovery

293
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:05,819
in one word you say concrete for s and then N would be

294
00:16:06,239 --> 00:16:06,929
abstract.

295
00:16:07,289 --> 00:16:07,919
Abstract.

296
00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:08,249
Okay.

297
00:16:08,849 --> 00:16:09,119
Okay.

298
00:16:10,349 --> 00:16:10,589
Okay.

299
00:16:11,099 --> 00:16:14,309
So I'm communicating in a way an abstract person would be like,

300
00:16:14,389 --> 00:16:16,189
I was trying to find myself.

301
00:16:16,219 --> 00:16:19,243
I was seeking to learn more about who I was.

302
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,583
And you're like, this is what I did.

303
00:16:22,513 --> 00:16:26,473
And then I, and then there might be a little bit of abstraction there.

304
00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:31,883
I didn't know what I wanted but in the end, they're actual data points.

305
00:16:32,573 --> 00:16:34,073
This is the name of my friend.

306
00:16:34,418 --> 00:16:36,668
This is what happened on the first podcast.

307
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:37,868
This is what we did.

308
00:16:38,168 --> 00:16:39,998
Well, this is what I did actually.

309
00:16:40,053 --> 00:16:42,273
This is how long it took Scott.

310
00:16:42,693 --> 00:16:44,463
On our first podcast.

311
00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:46,303
We did this is what we're doing now.

312
00:16:46,993 --> 00:16:50,833
No one has to wonder, and even as I'm communicating, you can

313
00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:52,543
say I'm an abstract communicator.

314
00:16:52,573 --> 00:16:54,793
'cause I'm not actually giving the details.

315
00:16:54,793 --> 00:16:56,083
You gave the details.

316
00:16:56,278 --> 00:17:00,578
You said Scott, on that podcast we talked about typology and we talked

317
00:17:00,578 --> 00:17:01,808
about your past and we talked.

318
00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:08,798
It was there, there isn't a need to wonder about the material that's

319
00:17:08,798 --> 00:17:13,958
being presented so abstract are these sort of broad conceptualization.

320
00:17:13,958 --> 00:17:17,618
So for instance if we're talking about the word honor.

321
00:17:18,968 --> 00:17:24,248
Honor, it's this floaty concept of virtuousness capacity,

322
00:17:24,248 --> 00:17:26,438
perhaps bravery loyalty.

323
00:17:26,443 --> 00:17:27,763
It's an umbrella term.

324
00:17:28,183 --> 00:17:29,293
For lots of things.

325
00:17:29,353 --> 00:17:34,543
A sensor would say, my grandpa was honorable.

326
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:41,143
There is a real literal representation of this concept.

327
00:17:41,623 --> 00:17:43,753
My grandma was an honorable woman.

328
00:17:43,993 --> 00:17:47,923
And then you could say, these are the things these are the exact

329
00:17:47,923 --> 00:17:51,793
moments in which I felt that my grandma was an honorable woman.

330
00:17:52,453 --> 00:17:57,733
And you would pull these things from your personal history attached to this concept.

331
00:17:57,733 --> 00:18:03,463
So the concept informs the theory and not vice versa.

332
00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:04,123
Okay.

333
00:18:04,273 --> 00:18:05,743
I don't wanna get too into that.

334
00:18:06,763 --> 00:18:07,003
Alright.

335
00:18:07,633 --> 00:18:09,073
So yeah, keep on going.

336
00:18:09,493 --> 00:18:10,093
Do your thing.

337
00:18:10,603 --> 00:18:11,083
Yeah.

338
00:18:11,083 --> 00:18:13,223
So right now we have sensing.

339
00:18:13,898 --> 00:18:16,748
Okay, we have, and not only do we have sensing, we have

340
00:18:16,748 --> 00:18:18,278
that it's introverted sensing.

341
00:18:18,838 --> 00:18:21,658
So it's which attaches in an axis.

342
00:18:21,658 --> 00:18:23,278
These two are always together.

343
00:18:23,278 --> 00:18:25,348
Introverted sensing and extrovert intuition.

344
00:18:25,558 --> 00:18:27,238
They always run in pairs.

345
00:18:27,288 --> 00:18:32,388
So extrovert intuition says, this is my pass is my subjective awareness.

346
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:36,648
This is the physical thing that I experienced, and I remember it over time.

347
00:18:37,428 --> 00:18:40,788
This is the recipe to success that I've experienced in the past.

348
00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:44,838
I will repeat it diligently over and over to avoid chaos and problems.

349
00:18:45,498 --> 00:18:48,678
And then expert intuition says, how can we pivot this?

350
00:18:49,068 --> 00:18:50,058
What could we do?

351
00:18:50,658 --> 00:18:52,038
What could happen differently?

352
00:18:52,908 --> 00:18:57,678
And then depending on how much you use introverted sensing versus how much

353
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:03,708
you use extroverted intuition, there will be a seesaw or an imbalance, or

354
00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,898
an imbalance in the other direction.

355
00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:14,018
So high SI users will struggle with a bunch of chaos occurring.

356
00:19:14,018 --> 00:19:21,438
So they seek to create bounds rules and structures to alleviate this chaos.

357
00:19:21,468 --> 00:19:26,958
So think about the karate master that comes in and says, class, we have arrived.

358
00:19:27,438 --> 00:19:30,408
We will ground, we will become calm.

359
00:19:30,978 --> 00:19:35,958
These are the rules of the dojo that should be followed so that we can

360
00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:38,538
have an ordered and efficient class.

361
00:19:38,748 --> 00:19:39,078
Right?

362
00:19:39,083 --> 00:19:42,363
That's he's a sensitive or sensing introvert there,

363
00:19:42,873 --> 00:19:43,408
is that what you're saying?

364
00:19:43,488 --> 00:19:43,648
Okay.

365
00:19:43,708 --> 00:19:43,928
Yep.

366
00:19:44,093 --> 00:19:44,273
Got it.

367
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:46,253
Okay.

368
00:19:46,343 --> 00:19:49,883
So now let's pivot just for sake of time.

369
00:19:49,883 --> 00:19:55,723
So right now we've done the S and the N. So we lean S you're a direct communicator,

370
00:19:55,813 --> 00:20:00,613
so you're an ISTJ or an ESTJ, essentially.

371
00:20:01,213 --> 00:20:01,933
And then.

372
00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:06,773
Not that this would distinguish between the two, but the words you're saying

373
00:20:06,953 --> 00:20:09,233
are connected to introverted feeling.

374
00:20:09,593 --> 00:20:12,623
So as you're talking, you're using words like, I loved it.

375
00:20:12,653 --> 00:20:13,703
It was amazing.

376
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:17,373
I found that I was passionate about this.

377
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:20,343
It's personal feeling, personal conviction.

378
00:20:20,583 --> 00:20:21,573
This is what I like.

379
00:20:21,573 --> 00:20:22,563
I know that I like it.

380
00:20:23,163 --> 00:20:25,473
Whether everyone else likes it, we'll find out.

381
00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:26,643
But I know that I like it.

382
00:20:26,673 --> 00:20:28,233
I know that I'm passionate about it.

383
00:20:28,733 --> 00:20:33,903
It'd be cool if everybody else liked it, but I know in my soul that

384
00:20:34,113 --> 00:20:37,023
baseball sports is something I enjoy.

385
00:20:37,053 --> 00:20:40,653
However, I struggle with starting, right?

386
00:20:41,013 --> 00:20:43,613
I struggle with initiating, I struggle with beginning.

387
00:20:44,183 --> 00:20:47,753
But since you've begun, you've been going like at a rocket

388
00:20:47,753 --> 00:20:49,103
pace, pulling in new things.

389
00:20:49,103 --> 00:20:50,123
New things are happening.

390
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,853
New things are occurring, but you didn't plan on those

391
00:20:52,853 --> 00:20:55,568
things, you so what we have is.

392
00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:57,693
Direct

393
00:21:00,153 --> 00:21:01,653
responding

394
00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:07,083
concrete,

395
00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:12,633
and we have, what else do we have?

396
00:21:13,923 --> 00:21:17,283
I have a big chart that I just kind of run through my mind right when I

397
00:21:17,283 --> 00:21:20,613
do this, but it's not like having one in front of you, so I actually kind of

398
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,173
have to pause and think about things.

399
00:21:23,233 --> 00:21:25,003
I think that you're systematic

400
00:21:28,633 --> 00:21:29,953
and I think that you're affiliative.

401
00:21:31,393 --> 00:21:32,018
What's that mean?

402
00:21:32,688 --> 00:21:33,378
Affiliative?

403
00:21:33,698 --> 00:21:36,778
It means that group buy-in is important.

404
00:21:39,248 --> 00:21:43,778
I'm not gonna enforce upon you this worldview that I have.

405
00:21:44,168 --> 00:21:48,608
I wanna make sure that it dances well with the tribe.

406
00:21:49,448 --> 00:21:53,318
I wanna make sure that the thing that I'm offering to everyone has

407
00:21:53,318 --> 00:21:56,498
consensus and buy-in before I proceed.

408
00:21:56,498 --> 00:22:00,328
I'm not gonna, like for instance, you work in the Tom Woods School

409
00:22:00,328 --> 00:22:05,058
of Life you have an idea about how to run the call differently.

410
00:22:05,988 --> 00:22:11,898
Instead of just doing it, you would probably seek feedback from superiors or

411
00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:15,108
feedback from peers prior to applying it.

412
00:22:15,948 --> 00:22:18,378
Yeah, I don't do that.

413
00:22:18,748 --> 00:22:19,498
I, right.

414
00:22:19,498 --> 00:22:22,348
So I would represent the other category, which is pragmatic.

415
00:22:22,948 --> 00:22:26,718
I am more likely I might consider it, but it'll be an afterthought.

416
00:22:26,768 --> 00:22:31,028
It'll be like, well, I guess technically I could get some permission here, but

417
00:22:31,028 --> 00:22:34,118
I really don't care about it as much.

418
00:22:34,148 --> 00:22:35,648
I've had to learn to care.

419
00:22:35,768 --> 00:22:36,548
Does that make sense?

420
00:22:36,553 --> 00:22:40,453
It's funny you say that, Scott, because if I were to analyze myself, I would

421
00:22:40,453 --> 00:22:46,478
not analyze it in that same way that you articulated, because I think oh, I

422
00:22:46,478 --> 00:22:50,348
gathered my info, here's how I do it, and then I'm just, I am doing it my own way.

423
00:22:50,348 --> 00:22:54,518
But no, I did go and source, I talked to David before I took over his slot.

424
00:22:54,728 --> 00:22:58,968
I talked to him, I talked to a few of the members about  how they do it.

425
00:22:58,968 --> 00:23:04,893
And then I, I kind of sourced how it was not kind of, but I did source from

426
00:23:04,953 --> 00:23:11,178
members how it was going, how it was better, how it was worse, and then change

427
00:23:11,178 --> 00:23:16,343
it evolve in the in these calls and, each one of these calls is different.

428
00:23:16,343 --> 00:23:21,053
So it's not the same in every single call because the group's different.

429
00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:22,343
Right.

430
00:23:22,343 --> 00:23:27,428
Also, but there are patterns that are very similar throughout how I'm been doing.

431
00:23:27,488 --> 00:23:27,698
Right.

432
00:23:28,328 --> 00:23:28,688
Absolutely.

433
00:23:29,063 --> 00:23:32,663
I learned, I took a lot of information from Jeremy, from Barbara, from

434
00:23:32,753 --> 00:23:35,653
David and a few other people.

435
00:23:36,283 --> 00:23:39,708
So you're still facilitating in your own unique way, but

436
00:23:39,708 --> 00:23:42,138
it is bounded by the feedback.

437
00:23:42,248 --> 00:23:46,888
You've curated your personal approach through the lenses

438
00:23:46,888 --> 00:23:48,328
of the tribe perspective.

439
00:23:48,358 --> 00:23:49,348
It's still you.

440
00:23:49,648 --> 00:23:53,998
No one else is facilitating in a suit, no one else is facilitating

441
00:23:53,998 --> 00:23:56,278
the way that you facilitate.

442
00:23:56,278 --> 00:23:59,998
And I'm not just saying that like you bring your interest in sports.

443
00:24:00,028 --> 00:24:03,658
I don't think the other facilitators have an interest in sports.

444
00:24:03,988 --> 00:24:04,138
Right.

445
00:24:04,168 --> 00:24:07,408
And I'm not saying they're uninterested, just that's not the thing that they do.

446
00:24:07,648 --> 00:24:13,438
So there are clear personal flavors that are not absent in your call.

447
00:24:13,488 --> 00:24:17,508
But prior to the call, you're like, how should we go about

448
00:24:17,658 --> 00:24:20,208
running a call better or work?

449
00:24:20,328 --> 00:24:21,408
How can we be efficient?

450
00:24:21,798 --> 00:24:23,238
I don't wanna run it worse.

451
00:24:23,288 --> 00:24:24,308
I don't wanna run worse,

452
00:24:24,308 --> 00:24:27,518
but what I wanna do is fail.

453
00:24:27,608 --> 00:24:29,978
How can I fail more successfully?

454
00:24:30,318 --> 00:24:32,388
Miserably anyway.

455
00:24:32,388 --> 00:24:32,958
Yeah, yeah.

456
00:24:32,958 --> 00:24:33,618
No that's good.

457
00:24:33,618 --> 00:24:39,888
I think I think all the, all this analysis is pretty good because I

458
00:24:39,888 --> 00:24:44,898
see this, and I, if I can go back a little bit, I, one of my other jobs

459
00:24:44,898 --> 00:24:49,488
that I really liked it was volunteer job as a high school baseball coach.

460
00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:52,608
And all these things apply, like group buy-in.

461
00:24:52,788 --> 00:24:58,738
Very important for team, very important direct concrete instructions to.

462
00:24:59,563 --> 00:25:00,583
The ball players.

463
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:03,933
It's this is how it's going to be done, otherwise we're going to fail.

464
00:25:04,133 --> 00:25:06,113
You just have to be on the same mission.

465
00:25:06,593 --> 00:25:10,853
Now, I might not want to be that way in my own personal life, but when I get

466
00:25:10,853 --> 00:25:16,883
into professional situations, that's how I believe I have to be in order for

467
00:25:16,913 --> 00:25:20,003
any amount of success to be achieved.

468
00:25:20,903 --> 00:25:21,293
Yeah.

469
00:25:21,383 --> 00:25:32,033
So, after listening to everything what I'm arriving at is ISTJ.

470
00:25:32,723 --> 00:25:33,863
ISTJ.

471
00:25:34,733 --> 00:25:35,093
Okay.

472
00:25:35,783 --> 00:25:40,163
That's different than what I've gotten in the past, which was I believe INTJ.

473
00:25:40,163 --> 00:25:45,703
But I think a lot of that, Scott, as you're talking because this is a, this

474
00:25:45,703 --> 00:25:51,358
is, believe it or not, folks this 15, 30 minutes, whatever it's been, is a

475
00:25:51,358 --> 00:25:57,178
lot deeper analysis than some Scantron sheet or, click buttons on a website,

476
00:25:57,388 --> 00:25:58,618
kind of thing to figure this out.

477
00:25:58,918 --> 00:26:04,258
But the thing was, I believe, when they ask you questions on these exams

478
00:26:04,468 --> 00:26:06,688
or surveys or whatever they're called

479
00:26:09,098 --> 00:26:12,458
it's hard to be completely accurate 'cause you don't, if you don't

480
00:26:12,458 --> 00:26:16,598
know exactly what they want out of that question, it's hard to answer.

481
00:26:16,628 --> 00:26:19,838
Like on a scale of five or whatever it might be, or,

482
00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:21,428
yeah, very high and very low.

483
00:26:21,428 --> 00:26:26,118
It's like how do I differentiate between high and average or high and very high?

484
00:26:26,178 --> 00:26:26,748
I don't know.

485
00:26:26,958 --> 00:26:27,378
I don't know.

486
00:26:27,408 --> 00:26:28,398
It's subjective.

487
00:26:28,518 --> 00:26:29,958
Yeah, totally subjective.

488
00:26:30,318 --> 00:26:33,178
And that maybe that's part of the deal, but it's hard.

489
00:26:33,238 --> 00:26:33,778
It's hard for me.

490
00:26:33,778 --> 00:26:34,558
So, but I think.

491
00:26:35,463 --> 00:26:41,428
What I may be doing I could be wrong or may have done, was project the

492
00:26:41,428 --> 00:26:47,218
answers that I, in an ideal situation that I would like and that gave me

493
00:26:47,218 --> 00:26:53,818
that N thing because maybe that's who I by like what we said at the top from

494
00:26:53,818 --> 00:26:55,798
culture, like everything around me.

495
00:26:55,798 --> 00:27:00,238
Maybe that's who I thought I was supposed to be or what I was supposed to be

496
00:27:00,238 --> 00:27:02,168
like, even though that might not be me.

497
00:27:03,518 --> 00:27:04,088
Yeah.

498
00:27:04,088 --> 00:27:10,028
We tend to hyperfocus on loud components of our life.

499
00:27:10,538 --> 00:27:11,998
So here's a reference.

500
00:27:12,838 --> 00:27:18,643
The memory of, I have a memory when I was seven, I got trapped out on a

501
00:27:18,643 --> 00:27:22,963
balcony and I stepped on a hornet's nest.

502
00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:25,243
I remember it vividly.

503
00:27:25,573 --> 00:27:28,003
I remember how many hornets stung me.

504
00:27:28,003 --> 00:27:29,863
I remember everything about it.

505
00:27:30,553 --> 00:27:36,643
We have a tendency to remember anomalous intense experience.

506
00:27:38,083 --> 00:27:42,823
Am I stepping on hornet's nests with enough regularity to say

507
00:27:42,873 --> 00:27:44,493
that is a personality trait?

508
00:27:45,538 --> 00:27:45,758
No.

509
00:27:45,763 --> 00:27:45,843
No.

510
00:27:46,263 --> 00:27:46,323
Yeah.

511
00:27:46,923 --> 00:27:48,183
But do I remember it?

512
00:27:48,183 --> 00:27:50,013
Is it very loud in my mind?

513
00:27:50,193 --> 00:27:50,253
Yeah.

514
00:27:50,313 --> 00:27:52,953
Can I remember it decades after it happened?

515
00:27:52,953 --> 00:27:53,823
Absolutely.

516
00:27:54,123 --> 00:28:00,243
So what can often happen in these tests is we say, man, I was really

517
00:28:00,243 --> 00:28:06,603
sensitive in that one situation Two weeks ago, I cried in public.

518
00:28:06,843 --> 00:28:07,923
That's crazy.

519
00:28:07,953 --> 00:28:09,783
I'm a feeler, right?

520
00:28:09,843 --> 00:28:11,283
I'm totally a feeler.

521
00:28:11,313 --> 00:28:14,243
And it's no one else would think that you're a feeler.

522
00:28:14,573 --> 00:28:17,873
You don't ever talk about your feelings, but you're like, I am a feeler.

523
00:28:17,873 --> 00:28:19,553
I remember that day.

524
00:28:19,553 --> 00:28:21,083
It was very intense.

525
00:28:21,503 --> 00:28:21,713
Right.

526
00:28:21,713 --> 00:28:21,938
So those other,

527
00:28:21,938 --> 00:28:24,623
and so that's another thing that can influence those tests.

528
00:28:24,713 --> 00:28:25,013
Yeah.

529
00:28:25,068 --> 00:28:29,308
And also like the proximity to when you're taking the test obviously

530
00:28:29,308 --> 00:28:34,558
the, most of the time memories are more vivid the closer to the time

531
00:28:34,558 --> 00:28:36,088
that you actually experienced them.

532
00:28:36,298 --> 00:28:38,973
Not like the 7-year-old hornet's nest thing.

533
00:28:38,973 --> 00:28:41,073
It's still there because it was such a big deal.

534
00:28:41,888 --> 00:28:42,178
Yeah.

535
00:28:42,183 --> 00:28:42,543
Yeah.

536
00:28:42,778 --> 00:28:43,218
I can't imagine.

537
00:28:43,218 --> 00:28:47,373
I mean, literally stepping on a hornet's nest, and we talk about that as an idiom

538
00:28:47,373 --> 00:28:51,303
or a turn of phrase a lot, and it's like, no, you actually had that happen.

539
00:28:51,963 --> 00:28:52,353
Yeah.

540
00:28:52,353 --> 00:28:54,423
It's super triggering, right?

541
00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:54,883
It's not.

542
00:28:54,883 --> 00:28:56,163
I'm cool, but yeah.

543
00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:59,153
So you'll notice you'll notice these things and that's why

544
00:28:59,153 --> 00:29:01,253
typing can be difficult because.

545
00:29:02,693 --> 00:29:06,653
It requires like a pivot between self and tribe.

546
00:29:06,683 --> 00:29:13,524
And if you highly value what you think, you won't listen to tribe feedback.

547
00:29:14,063 --> 00:29:18,983
If you only value tribe feedback, you won't listen to what you think.

548
00:29:19,103 --> 00:29:24,533
And so it can be, it's this dance between who is more accurate, and in

549
00:29:24,533 --> 00:29:29,813
some ways, each person is going to prefer themselves as the source of the material.

550
00:29:30,743 --> 00:29:36,264
For instance, I would say so with an ISTJ, their own personal

551
00:29:36,264 --> 00:29:43,524
values are loud and memorable, and their own likes and dislikes are

552
00:29:43,613 --> 00:29:47,153
almost immune to, to tribe attack.

553
00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:51,323
So being yourself is effortless.

554
00:29:51,543 --> 00:29:51,873
Okay.

555
00:29:52,083 --> 00:29:55,443
I wanna stop you right there because this is something that's

556
00:29:55,443 --> 00:29:57,003
been vexing me for a long time.

557
00:29:57,753 --> 00:29:57,843
Yeah.

558
00:29:57,843 --> 00:29:58,653
I agree with that.

559
00:29:58,653 --> 00:29:59,703
Analysis number one.

560
00:30:00,873 --> 00:30:01,803
I think that fits me.

561
00:30:01,803 --> 00:30:01,893
Mm-hmm.

562
00:30:02,478 --> 00:30:05,043
However, I don't believe that it always fit me.

563
00:30:05,793 --> 00:30:12,473
And I think from my study of this stuff and from what people tell me is

564
00:30:12,473 --> 00:30:15,803
that no, you're the same, you're the same personality type all your life.

565
00:30:15,803 --> 00:30:17,573
It's like you you have I don't know,

566
00:30:20,063 --> 00:30:20,783
brown hair.

567
00:30:20,843 --> 00:30:22,373
I you, but you don't always have brown hair.

568
00:30:22,373 --> 00:30:25,643
It changes to gray sometimes or might change to red at certain

569
00:30:25,643 --> 00:30:27,143
point in your life, or, yeah.

570
00:30:27,193 --> 00:30:31,033
I don't, can you ex, can you expound on that a little bit because

571
00:30:31,153 --> 00:30:31,873
Absolutely.

572
00:30:32,443 --> 00:30:32,533
Okay.

573
00:30:32,533 --> 00:30:34,633
So, well, I didn't mean to interrupt you.

574
00:30:34,633 --> 00:30:35,413
It sounded like you were flying.

575
00:30:35,413 --> 00:30:36,198
No, no.

576
00:30:36,248 --> 00:30:40,153
I don't really know how to articulate what I'm asking other than I know I've

577
00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:48,043
changed or I've realized something about me is different, right.

578
00:30:48,043 --> 00:30:49,363
Than your personality type.

579
00:30:49,543 --> 00:30:49,933
Yeah.

580
00:30:49,983 --> 00:30:52,143
I was doing, I was operating differently now.

581
00:30:53,328 --> 00:30:56,558
I, as the older I've gotten, and particularly the catalyst

582
00:30:56,558 --> 00:30:59,288
of 2020 really changed that.

583
00:30:59,288 --> 00:30:59,378
Mm-hmm.

584
00:30:59,888 --> 00:31:05,583
Is that I do, I absolutely say I fit that description, what you said, the

585
00:31:05,583 --> 00:31:07,883
ISTJ where it's like my values matter.

586
00:31:08,363 --> 00:31:08,933
I don't care.

587
00:31:08,933 --> 00:31:13,853
I don't really care that much about these other clowns out there who

588
00:31:13,853 --> 00:31:15,413
are trying to destroy my life.

589
00:31:15,583 --> 00:31:16,903
I have no empathy for them.

590
00:31:17,053 --> 00:31:19,453
However, if you're on my side, I had a lot of empathy for you.

591
00:31:20,023 --> 00:31:24,343
I tended to may think, or I tried to empathize with almost everybody

592
00:31:24,553 --> 00:31:30,374
years ago, and I didn't do a good job of it, but that's where, that

593
00:31:30,374 --> 00:31:31,573
was where I was operating from.

594
00:31:32,294 --> 00:31:33,104
You see what I'm saying?

595
00:31:33,104 --> 00:31:33,644
Versus, yeah.

596
00:31:33,914 --> 00:31:37,414
Now I'm more conscious of where I'm at.

597
00:31:37,414 --> 00:31:43,134
I didn't know this about my personality type say, but I, I gleaned enough

598
00:31:43,134 --> 00:31:47,169
information to say eh, I have my priorities and I have my life rules

599
00:31:47,169 --> 00:31:51,219
and whatever they might be, and you're not gonna change 'em because

600
00:31:51,219 --> 00:31:54,639
I've already experienced them and I've settled on this, this, and this.

601
00:31:54,689 --> 00:31:55,319
Yeah.

602
00:31:55,769 --> 00:31:56,709
So real, real quick

603
00:31:56,729 --> 00:31:59,624
not to get this into a therapy session, Scott, but anyway, go ahead.

604
00:31:59,624 --> 00:32:00,704
Oh yeah.

605
00:32:00,764 --> 00:32:01,244
Alright.

606
00:32:01,274 --> 00:32:02,804
Take a seat on the chair.

607
00:32:02,964 --> 00:32:04,734
We'll figure out what happened in your childhood.

608
00:32:04,794 --> 00:32:05,439
Yeah, yeah.

609
00:32:05,494 --> 00:32:11,134
The so, so what can happen, and I wanna bring up something I mentioned before.

610
00:32:11,279 --> 00:32:12,164
Before Absolutely.

611
00:32:12,164 --> 00:32:13,454
We change Absolutely.

612
00:32:13,454 --> 00:32:14,414
There's nurture.

613
00:32:14,654 --> 00:32:18,974
Like for instance, I can learn how to play basketball, but there are

614
00:32:18,974 --> 00:32:21,974
natural abilities and strengths that I have that might make me

615
00:32:21,974 --> 00:32:23,444
better or worse at basketball.

616
00:32:23,744 --> 00:32:24,194
Right, right.

617
00:32:24,194 --> 00:32:27,584
But over time I'm be like, I wanna do basketball now.

618
00:32:27,989 --> 00:32:30,509
Like in, let's say I decide to do that when I'm 60.

619
00:32:31,229 --> 00:32:35,429
That's not the best time to get good at basketball, but you totally could do it.

620
00:32:35,759 --> 00:32:36,629
You totally could.

621
00:32:36,629 --> 00:32:39,509
And then you'd be the best 60-year-old basketball player, presumably

622
00:32:39,514 --> 00:32:40,494
or something along those lines.

623
00:32:40,914 --> 00:32:46,894
So there preferences and interests and focuses can, and do change over time.

624
00:32:47,354 --> 00:32:51,644
And that doesn't change our core personality.

625
00:32:51,654 --> 00:32:55,104
It just changes where we put our emphasis and focus.

626
00:32:55,354 --> 00:32:58,824
So for instance, an ISTJ and again I'm just saying this from

627
00:32:58,824 --> 00:33:01,434
a more system-y kind of look.

628
00:33:01,434 --> 00:33:05,434
This is a I don't want to get, 'cause this can get real complex real

629
00:33:05,434 --> 00:33:08,464
quick, but, so I'm gonna avoid that.

630
00:33:08,624 --> 00:33:13,254
But we have with the ISTJ, we'll stick to the Jungian typology stuff.

631
00:33:13,254 --> 00:33:13,434
Okay.

632
00:33:13,484 --> 00:33:18,364
Or you could say MBTI there's a whole bunch of, systems involved in this.

633
00:33:18,364 --> 00:33:20,013
So just real quick, any MBTI

634
00:33:20,014 --> 00:33:20,644
Myers-Briggs?

635
00:33:21,244 --> 00:33:21,484
Yeah.

636
00:33:21,484 --> 00:33:21,694
Yeah.

637
00:33:21,694 --> 00:33:24,604
Myers and Briggs essentially took Jung's stuff and they're like,

638
00:33:24,604 --> 00:33:26,194
how can we turn this into a test?

639
00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:27,334
And then they made a test.

640
00:33:27,694 --> 00:33:28,204
Okay, that's it.

641
00:33:28,444 --> 00:33:29,344
That's what happened there.

642
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:30,004
Got it.

643
00:33:30,004 --> 00:33:35,464
And so when you have that test, it's Myers and Briggs making a test for

644
00:33:35,464 --> 00:33:40,474
Carl Jung's observations, and then you have Dr. Linda Barons, and she's like,

645
00:33:40,504 --> 00:33:42,154
but how do people actually behave?

646
00:33:42,154 --> 00:33:43,114
How do they interact?

647
00:33:43,114 --> 00:33:46,914
And then d Dr. David Kersey is, like, well, what are they kind

648
00:33:46,914 --> 00:33:49,074
of like, inside their mind?

649
00:33:49,224 --> 00:33:53,334
All of these co inform this big thing that I'm using?

650
00:33:53,484 --> 00:33:57,414
And then you have Dr. John Bebe and he's like, let's look at the exact

651
00:33:57,414 --> 00:34:01,524
functions and lenses and what are the cognitive preferences for each of these.

652
00:34:01,764 --> 00:34:04,854
It gets really complex really quickly.

653
00:34:04,954 --> 00:34:07,654
But returning to your question, how is it.

654
00:34:07,969 --> 00:34:13,059
That I am the thing that you described just now, Scott, but I wasn't

655
00:34:13,059 --> 00:34:15,069
really like that when I was younger.

656
00:34:15,799 --> 00:34:21,589
And the answer is we sort of moved down our functional stack as we age and we're

657
00:34:21,589 --> 00:34:27,199
like, oh so just for reference we have introverted sensing at the top, so I kind

658
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:29,179
of always know how I'm doing physically.

659
00:34:29,659 --> 00:34:31,009
That's not hard for me to do.

660
00:34:31,129 --> 00:34:33,259
I kind of always know if I need to sleep.

661
00:34:33,289 --> 00:34:35,019
I know if if I'm hungry.

662
00:34:35,019 --> 00:34:35,649
I know.

663
00:34:35,919 --> 00:34:38,889
Just so you know, some people have no clue.

664
00:34:38,889 --> 00:34:39,699
The Forrest Gump idea.

665
00:34:39,879 --> 00:34:40,889
There's I'm hungry, I eat.

666
00:34:40,979 --> 00:34:42,439
If I'm tired, I sleep.

667
00:34:42,464 --> 00:34:42,744
Yeah.

668
00:34:44,009 --> 00:34:44,459
Yeah.

669
00:34:44,459 --> 00:34:46,139
It's yes.

670
00:34:46,199 --> 00:34:47,189
Yeah, exactly.

671
00:34:47,249 --> 00:34:51,819
And some people I just want to tell you are utterly out of touch

672
00:34:51,819 --> 00:34:54,039
with their physical experience.

673
00:34:54,459 --> 00:34:55,569
Almost completely.

674
00:34:55,974 --> 00:35:01,044
So it basically allows them to work tirelessly without stopping.

675
00:35:01,494 --> 00:35:04,104
But of course it takes a toll on their body, which is fine.

676
00:35:04,134 --> 00:35:05,214
'cause they don't notice.

677
00:35:05,754 --> 00:35:05,784
Okay.

678
00:35:05,784 --> 00:35:10,099
And so these are the type of people that can work themselves to death or they get

679
00:35:10,099 --> 00:35:13,279
crazy diseases because they're ignoring their body while they're accruing all

680
00:35:13,279 --> 00:35:19,099
this sort of social pressure work pressure physiological issues with their diet.

681
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:20,809
And they're able to ignore it all.

682
00:35:20,869 --> 00:35:23,389
So it's a superpower and a curse, you could say.

683
00:35:23,959 --> 00:35:26,779
And then being highly attuned, you can't ignore your body.

684
00:35:27,229 --> 00:35:31,639
You have to just endure either, okay, I'm just gonna be hungry.

685
00:35:32,099 --> 00:35:34,529
I feel it, and then push past it.

686
00:35:34,529 --> 00:35:36,239
So that's kind of what introverted sensing does.

687
00:35:36,509 --> 00:35:42,789
So are the folks that are like Iron Men and ultra marathoners and that type of

688
00:35:42,789 --> 00:35:47,619
thing, are you saying that is more of that, that extroverted sensing where

689
00:35:47,709 --> 00:35:49,569
it's definitely what Yeah, absolutely.

690
00:35:49,629 --> 00:35:50,469
It trends that way.

691
00:35:50,469 --> 00:35:50,799
Anyway.

692
00:35:51,729 --> 00:35:53,819
It trends strongly that way.

693
00:35:54,089 --> 00:35:54,479
Strongly.

694
00:35:54,484 --> 00:35:55,724
Probably 90%.

695
00:35:56,144 --> 00:35:56,174
Okay.

696
00:35:56,174 --> 00:35:56,414
Makes sense.

697
00:35:56,504 --> 00:35:58,394
Would be the extroverted sensing types.

698
00:35:58,394 --> 00:35:58,724
That makes sense.

699
00:35:58,724 --> 00:36:05,364
And then there's some crazy SI people that just know how to shut off or

700
00:36:05,424 --> 00:36:08,214
endure to a degree that's insane.

701
00:36:08,784 --> 00:36:13,164
They are not common, but they are in those realms, but they're rare.

702
00:36:13,384 --> 00:36:18,754
You can kind of tweak that in a way, or like to get more attuned

703
00:36:18,754 --> 00:36:20,584
to that one side, for instance.

704
00:36:20,584 --> 00:36:23,339
I mean, I, not to be too abstract, but.

705
00:36:23,389 --> 00:36:27,319
But right now for in the Catholic religion, it's the season of Lent.

706
00:36:28,129 --> 00:36:31,789
And so you are called on too fast.

707
00:36:32,089 --> 00:36:35,149
The fasting rules have changed quite a bit over the par

708
00:36:35,179 --> 00:36:37,199
particular last 50 years or so.

709
00:36:37,979 --> 00:36:42,509
However, it's encouraged that, fast, and then the term fast means

710
00:36:42,509 --> 00:36:43,709
different things to different people.

711
00:36:43,709 --> 00:36:48,129
But historically fasting was no food and oftentimes no water.

712
00:36:49,539 --> 00:36:54,219
I've pushed myself over the last several years to fast a few days

713
00:36:54,309 --> 00:37:00,759
at a time and just to see not only following, religious practices, but

714
00:37:00,759 --> 00:37:05,739
also just to see if I can do it and like what all these people in the past

715
00:37:06,099 --> 00:37:09,104
have done and how they endured it.

716
00:37:09,104 --> 00:37:12,314
And this year, honestly, I've, probably not even supposed to talk about it early

717
00:37:12,314 --> 00:37:15,314
until the whole thing's done, but I failed a few times where I have it on

718
00:37:15,314 --> 00:37:17,954
my calendar, like today's a fast day and I'm like, oh I just can't do it.

719
00:37:17,954 --> 00:37:19,274
I got too many things to do.

720
00:37:19,574 --> 00:37:20,294
I'm hungry.

721
00:37:20,624 --> 00:37:22,184
And I just said, I'll let it slip.

722
00:37:22,184 --> 00:37:24,099
And then I had to double down last week.

723
00:37:24,099 --> 00:37:25,929
I just come on, man, on my calendar.

724
00:37:25,929 --> 00:37:27,824
I said I had something marked out.

725
00:37:27,884 --> 00:37:31,014
I'm like yeah this means no food for real.

726
00:37:31,434 --> 00:37:32,094
For real.

727
00:37:33,124 --> 00:37:38,108
And then some, sometimes, it is, no, no eating until like noon or

728
00:37:38,108 --> 00:37:39,968
00 PM or whatever, and whatever.

729
00:37:40,068 --> 00:37:44,298
But the idea is that you can, that's very hard for me and it's very hard

730
00:37:44,298 --> 00:37:45,678
for a lot of people to do that.

731
00:37:46,248 --> 00:37:48,618
Some people, it's not, like you said, it's no problem.

732
00:37:48,618 --> 00:37:54,378
They have no struggle with fasting because they'll just like, like you

733
00:37:54,378 --> 00:37:58,098
said, eat whenever or exercise whenever.

734
00:37:58,398 --> 00:38:02,628
Like I gotta go out for a walk every once in a while just to kind move the blood.

735
00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:04,048
My head straight.

736
00:38:04,168 --> 00:38:04,978
Absolutely.

737
00:38:05,398 --> 00:38:05,788
Yeah.

738
00:38:05,838 --> 00:38:07,278
And I just sat here all day.

739
00:38:07,278 --> 00:38:08,658
It'd be tough, but anyway.

740
00:38:09,168 --> 00:38:09,498
Yeah.

741
00:38:09,778 --> 00:38:10,858
It would be bad for you.

742
00:38:10,918 --> 00:38:11,218
Yeah.

743
00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:14,513
The I just thought this was really interesting.

744
00:38:14,813 --> 00:38:18,103
So here's a great  thing to point out.

745
00:38:18,793 --> 00:38:20,803
You asked me, Scott.

746
00:38:21,398 --> 00:38:23,468
This is the difference between informative and direct.

747
00:38:23,618 --> 00:38:24,878
I just noticed that I did it.

748
00:38:25,218 --> 00:38:30,108
You had asked me, Scott I really identify with what you're saying now, but I

749
00:38:30,108 --> 00:38:32,028
didn't use to, what's up with that?

750
00:38:32,028 --> 00:38:32,118
Mm-hmm.

751
00:38:32,538 --> 00:38:32,838
Yeah.

752
00:38:33,223 --> 00:38:37,548
And then I went all over the place and I started talking about fasting,

753
00:38:38,028 --> 00:38:39,198
and then you're like, fasting.

754
00:38:39,198 --> 00:38:41,508
It's really, I didn't answer your question.

755
00:38:42,018 --> 00:38:44,808
I went in all these different directions.

756
00:38:44,808 --> 00:38:44,838
Okay.

757
00:38:45,438 --> 00:38:50,508
And then we got on fasting and so I don't know.

758
00:38:50,508 --> 00:38:54,378
So that meta analysis, uhhuh, so me looking at what I'm doing and being

759
00:38:54,378 --> 00:38:55,788
like, Scott, what are you doing?

760
00:38:55,948 --> 00:39:01,243
He actually asked, I have to work really, really hard to just answer the question.

761
00:39:01,248 --> 00:39:01,468
Okay.

762
00:39:01,753 --> 00:39:03,133
I have a, it's, yeah.

763
00:39:03,463 --> 00:39:03,643
Yeah.

764
00:39:03,643 --> 00:39:04,123
It's interesting.

765
00:39:04,303 --> 00:39:04,573
Okay.

766
00:39:05,083 --> 00:39:12,553
Do you have to kind of tweak certain areas of your personality, say,

767
00:39:12,673 --> 00:39:15,013
to be effective at the job you do?

768
00:39:16,223 --> 00:39:17,868
To raise one lower the other.

769
00:39:18,893 --> 00:39:19,583
Absolutely.

770
00:39:19,823 --> 00:39:20,093
Yeah.

771
00:39:20,173 --> 00:39:21,253
And it's tiring.

772
00:39:21,323 --> 00:39:23,883
Or it is just, it's just becoming flexible.

773
00:39:24,093 --> 00:39:27,793
You're like, oh okay, I wanna go run really fast.

774
00:39:27,823 --> 00:39:31,693
Okay, well, I don't want to be pulling any muscles now that I'm running really fast

775
00:39:31,693 --> 00:39:33,613
now I need to go stretch my hamstrings.

776
00:39:33,853 --> 00:39:35,533
Oh man, my hamstrings are really tight.

777
00:39:35,893 --> 00:39:36,583
Okay.

778
00:39:36,863 --> 00:39:39,773
It's just like you're stretching your mind, you're stretching your

779
00:39:39,773 --> 00:39:43,253
abilities, you're stretching your capacities to engage with all

780
00:39:43,253 --> 00:39:45,083
the different types of people.

781
00:39:45,473 --> 00:39:45,683
Right.

782
00:39:45,683 --> 00:39:47,693
They're the people that would naturally fit you.

783
00:39:47,993 --> 00:39:50,903
And then there are people that kind of fit you, and then

784
00:39:50,903 --> 00:39:52,463
there's people that don't fit.

785
00:39:52,798 --> 00:39:59,888
And then in, in each case, you have to figure out, can I move how I am delivering

786
00:40:00,008 --> 00:40:05,288
myself in a way that makes this valuable?

787
00:40:05,618 --> 00:40:07,508
To the other side.

788
00:40:07,768 --> 00:40:11,858
In this case I have to figure out and then you'll be asking the same

789
00:40:11,858 --> 00:40:13,508
questions but in a different way.

790
00:40:13,688 --> 00:40:16,928
Like a, am I accomplishing what Scott's setting out to do?

791
00:40:17,288 --> 00:40:18,308
Are we being efficient?

792
00:40:18,308 --> 00:40:19,358
Are we doing the thing?

793
00:40:20,138 --> 00:40:25,928
Like we're all, everybody has a little vision of how things are supposed to go.

794
00:40:26,108 --> 00:40:26,228
Yeah.

795
00:40:26,228 --> 00:40:31,358
But it's funny you say that because I tend to be a bit direct, I guess.

796
00:40:31,838 --> 00:40:34,628
I don't see myself that way, but maybe, but I also.

797
00:40:34,658 --> 00:40:40,813
I, before we went on, I said I'm, I didn't say this in these terms, but I like, I'm

798
00:40:40,813 --> 00:40:45,533
giving you the runway to take it wherever you want to go, because I'm not part, I'm

799
00:40:45,623 --> 00:40:49,493
constrained by time insofar as it's gotta be probably done within the next hour.

800
00:40:49,493 --> 00:40:52,523
But I said, I think this is a really interesting topic.

801
00:40:52,523 --> 00:40:56,548
I really want to get into it because you, I know you Scott, and

802
00:40:56,548 --> 00:41:01,948
we talk almost every week, and I'm getting glimpses of this, right?

803
00:41:01,948 --> 00:41:08,148
So I want you to be able to and for other people to come in and explore what it

804
00:41:08,148 --> 00:41:15,068
is that you do because, and that'll give everybody, I think a better idea of where

805
00:41:15,068 --> 00:41:18,818
you're coming from and even more to the point where what you mentioned earlier

806
00:41:19,328 --> 00:41:23,848
about how you can get tired or exhausted or it's o overload kind of thing.

807
00:41:23,848 --> 00:41:24,898
And I see that.

808
00:41:25,543 --> 00:41:26,143
Every once in a while.

809
00:41:26,143 --> 00:41:27,493
I don't wanna get too far outta school.

810
00:41:27,493 --> 00:41:29,863
You can stop me at any time here.

811
00:41:30,523 --> 00:41:34,973
But there's some days where you've been doing like many of these meetings,

812
00:41:34,973 --> 00:41:38,623
one on, or consulting, you know, with a large group and you're bushed man.

813
00:41:38,743 --> 00:41:39,253
I can tell.

814
00:41:39,253 --> 00:41:40,513
You're just, you're there.

815
00:41:40,573 --> 00:41:41,053
You're there.

816
00:41:41,053 --> 00:41:42,853
'cause you committed to show up.

817
00:41:43,213 --> 00:41:43,273
Yeah.

818
00:41:43,333 --> 00:41:45,843
But your day was already over a few hours ago.

819
00:41:46,048 --> 00:41:46,338
Yeah.

820
00:41:46,398 --> 00:41:47,538
And right.

821
00:41:48,693 --> 00:41:48,843
Yeah.

822
00:41:48,843 --> 00:41:48,964
That's funny.

823
00:41:48,998 --> 00:41:55,333
And but the thing is you come in and I, now I'm understanding why I'm like, ah.

824
00:41:55,518 --> 00:41:56,748
It's just, you're just talking to people.

825
00:41:56,798 --> 00:42:00,208
But the other thing you say is I'm exhausted, except.

826
00:42:00,583 --> 00:42:01,483
I loved it.

827
00:42:01,873 --> 00:42:05,233
It was so rewarding and yeah, and it's what you do.

828
00:42:05,953 --> 00:42:10,263
And so you have the passion, so not only you can work through that

829
00:42:10,263 --> 00:42:14,403
exhaustion, just like that ultra marathon runner, if that makes any sense.

830
00:42:14,553 --> 00:42:14,643
Right.

831
00:42:15,033 --> 00:42:17,313
Because it's the passion that you have.

832
00:42:17,683 --> 00:42:20,053
You're not working through it necessarily, you're accepting it

833
00:42:20,143 --> 00:42:24,553
and, compartmentalizing it more if I, if that analysis is correct.

834
00:42:25,693 --> 00:42:26,713
Yeah, yeah.

835
00:42:26,713 --> 00:42:28,813
That, that, that's exactly right.

836
00:42:29,153 --> 00:42:34,143
And I suppose if we're going back into what happens in a call.

837
00:42:34,198 --> 00:42:34,258
So.

838
00:42:35,533 --> 00:42:37,273
A little more conversational,

839
00:42:37,273 --> 00:42:41,743
BrianDOLeary.com/tsol if you wanna sign up for Tom's School of Life.

840
00:42:41,743 --> 00:42:42,133
There you go.

841
00:42:42,343 --> 00:42:42,613
Thanks.

842
00:42:42,703 --> 00:42:42,913
Yeah.

843
00:42:42,913 --> 00:42:43,153
Anyway.

844
00:42:43,783 --> 00:42:44,353
Nice.

845
00:42:44,413 --> 00:42:44,833
Yeah.

846
00:42:45,373 --> 00:42:50,653
The and then okay but if we're on a call, I'd be like, okay, I have to do the thing.

847
00:42:50,713 --> 00:42:55,123
I have to, so the next steps we would go into, so we typed them and

848
00:42:55,123 --> 00:42:57,463
then there's a conversation where they're like, oh, I am that way.

849
00:42:57,523 --> 00:42:58,003
Aha.

850
00:42:58,053 --> 00:42:59,343
That's so interesting.

851
00:42:59,343 --> 00:43:01,503
And then there's this sort of rapport okay.

852
00:43:01,503 --> 00:43:02,253
Developed.

853
00:43:02,313 --> 00:43:04,283
And then they're like, okay, so you get me.

854
00:43:04,283 --> 00:43:09,578
So now I can trust your BS stuff like your your little words and 'cause

855
00:43:09,578 --> 00:43:12,398
a lot of times people are like, why am I gonna learn all this vocab?

856
00:43:12,818 --> 00:43:16,028
Why would I do that if you don't get it?

857
00:43:16,508 --> 00:43:20,858
And getting it is typing them and then making sure that they feel that you

858
00:43:20,858 --> 00:43:22,628
understand where they're coming from.

859
00:43:23,138 --> 00:43:26,648
In a cognitive way, because before that, why would they respect

860
00:43:26,648 --> 00:43:28,508
anything that you say, right?

861
00:43:28,823 --> 00:43:29,993
Like you're just some guy?

862
00:43:29,993 --> 00:43:31,568
Like you need to show your capacity.

863
00:43:31,838 --> 00:43:32,168
Yeah.

864
00:43:33,128 --> 00:43:35,688
So after that depending on the type,

865
00:43:35,928 --> 00:43:36,858
is that universal?

866
00:43:37,018 --> 00:43:38,338
That is a universal thing?

867
00:43:38,338 --> 00:43:39,688
That's a universal, okay.

868
00:43:39,698 --> 00:43:43,958
People need to know that you're not an idiot in the way that they value.

869
00:43:45,938 --> 00:43:49,178
Like if you're a banker and you're gonna have a conversation about

870
00:43:49,178 --> 00:43:54,468
banking, you're gonna need to, hear industry specific terminology.

871
00:43:54,768 --> 00:43:59,328
You're gonna need to see cleanness in the way that they're organized and present

872
00:43:59,328 --> 00:44:01,458
themselves because it's a numbers game.

873
00:44:01,488 --> 00:44:02,658
It's an accounting game.

874
00:44:03,543 --> 00:44:08,893
If you're gonna be talking to an artist, you're gonna wanna see an aesthetic that's

875
00:44:08,893 --> 00:44:12,643
beautiful and interesting, and that should be representative in their clothing.

876
00:44:12,913 --> 00:44:14,593
You won't necessarily be interested.

877
00:44:14,593 --> 00:44:20,293
Maybe they will be smart and well-spoken, but it's not necessary that they are

878
00:44:20,503 --> 00:44:22,603
because an artist does this other thing.

879
00:44:22,783 --> 00:44:24,343
And then if you're talking to a pro warrior, you was

880
00:44:24,343 --> 00:44:29,613
taking it for granted that he or she might not be as articulate or

881
00:44:29,913 --> 00:44:34,143
whatever, but you can sense it or whatever from the wardrobe or the

882
00:44:34,143 --> 00:44:36,963
way they carry themselves or more so

883
00:44:36,963 --> 00:44:37,293
Absolutely.

884
00:44:37,293 --> 00:44:38,283
The speech patterns.

885
00:44:39,273 --> 00:44:40,293
Right, right.

886
00:44:40,293 --> 00:44:43,293
We're giving off signals all day long.

887
00:44:43,303 --> 00:44:48,163
All day long we're giving off signals and we're aware and unaware of a lot of

888
00:44:48,163 --> 00:44:52,273
the signals that we're presenting, and just because we don't value those signals

889
00:44:52,273 --> 00:44:54,043
doesn't mean that they don't matter.

890
00:44:54,373 --> 00:44:57,763
People will judge you for how you present yourself.

891
00:44:57,823 --> 00:44:58,663
Full stop.

892
00:44:58,843 --> 00:45:00,283
They will make determinations.

893
00:45:00,493 --> 00:45:05,983
Now, whether they're negative or positive or neutral or objective, they're going to

894
00:45:05,983 --> 00:45:08,203
think something based upon what they see.

895
00:45:08,563 --> 00:45:11,083
They're gonna say, oh, he's beautiful.

896
00:45:11,293 --> 00:45:13,403
Oh he has he's white.

897
00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:16,543
Oh, he's got he wears collared shirts.

898
00:45:16,543 --> 00:45:20,473
He likes to be comfy 'cause he is wearing sweats and pajamas.

899
00:45:20,903 --> 00:45:22,553
He's highly professional, right?

900
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:27,653
So, for instance, yeah, someone that sees khakis and a messy button-up shirt or

901
00:45:27,653 --> 00:45:33,083
not a fashionable, but a professional, they're like accountant energy.

902
00:45:34,293 --> 00:45:36,963
You're filling the box of like.

903
00:45:37,323 --> 00:45:40,593
Clean, professional, organized, rule follower, but you're

904
00:45:40,593 --> 00:45:42,993
not beautifully dressed.

905
00:45:43,323 --> 00:45:44,253
Does that make sense?

906
00:45:44,473 --> 00:45:46,003
It does make sense quite a bit.

907
00:45:46,063 --> 00:45:49,073
And getting back to the dress, if we ever have this on video, you'll

908
00:45:49,073 --> 00:45:51,593
see the way I'm dressed, dressed in springtime colors because it's,

909
00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:54,923
it stemmed from a conversation that our group had the other night.

910
00:45:54,923 --> 00:45:54,983
Yeah.

911
00:45:54,983 --> 00:45:59,543
With Scott is they're kind of making fun of Scott's background and they're

912
00:45:59,543 --> 00:46:02,078
like, oh, Scott, you need to match the background with your shirt.

913
00:46:02,078 --> 00:46:02,763
It's like, , come on.

914
00:46:03,333 --> 00:46:06,603
And anyway, so I was like, well, yeah, all these past, all these pastel colors.

915
00:46:06,603 --> 00:46:09,703
I said, well, I'll show up on Saturday when I'm recording this

916
00:46:09,703 --> 00:46:12,638
with Scott and I'll show him that I can match my background.

917
00:46:12,808 --> 00:46:16,098
I can match the background or any background with my wardrobe.

918
00:46:18,858 --> 00:46:22,578
What I was going to get to as far as wardrobe goes, so some people

919
00:46:22,578 --> 00:46:27,228
say, oh yeah, uh, I'm comfy 'cause I wear a t-shirt and sweats.

920
00:46:28,008 --> 00:46:32,028
Well, yeah, that's comfy for me at a certain part of the day, at night,

921
00:46:32,118 --> 00:46:37,518
I'm not comfortable at all going to the grocery store in sweatpants

922
00:46:37,638 --> 00:46:40,723
and a t-shirt I that freaks me out.

923
00:46:40,913 --> 00:46:44,053
I'm un under, I'm almost not dressed at that point.

924
00:46:44,923 --> 00:46:46,963
But some people are perfectly fine, right?

925
00:46:46,993 --> 00:46:47,143
Yep.

926
00:46:47,683 --> 00:46:47,923
Yeah.

927
00:46:48,073 --> 00:46:53,563
And then some people need to get in their formal pajamas and to go

928
00:46:53,623 --> 00:46:55,723
to even think about going to sleep.

929
00:46:56,023 --> 00:46:59,773
I, like you said earlier, I'll go to sleep when I'm tired sometimes,

930
00:46:59,873 --> 00:47:03,353
it's just I'll fall asleep and all of my clothes and I just fall asleep.

931
00:47:03,893 --> 00:47:04,283
Yep.

932
00:47:04,673 --> 00:47:09,253
But it does, I do get more comfortable when I get into that mode of sleep.

933
00:47:09,253 --> 00:47:14,903
And now on these podcasts, I don't care what the other person wears, but

934
00:47:15,263 --> 00:47:20,543
for me doing this job, I feel a lot more comfortable in a collared shirt.

935
00:47:20,843 --> 00:47:27,513
And I usually wear a sport coat if I'm in a, any moderately professional

936
00:47:27,823 --> 00:47:30,073
or a sweater or something, depending like how I'm feeling.

937
00:47:30,073 --> 00:47:34,653
But that's just kinda what I do and I'm comfortable that way.

938
00:47:35,523 --> 00:47:38,213
So, other people are perfectly comfortable on T-shirt.

939
00:47:38,273 --> 00:47:39,113
I don't care.

940
00:47:40,003 --> 00:47:47,983
Now, if you came to the office in sweatpants and a t-shirt and the whole

941
00:47:48,133 --> 00:47:54,043
pair of worn out sneakers, it's just, I'm gonna be thinking about that all the time.

942
00:47:54,718 --> 00:47:56,038
It's just not gonna work.

943
00:47:56,308 --> 00:47:56,668
Right.

944
00:47:56,968 --> 00:48:01,828
But on the zoom call or on, you know, whatever that, it's perfectly fine.

945
00:48:02,038 --> 00:48:04,528
'cause we see pretty much everybody from the shoulders up.

946
00:48:04,918 --> 00:48:05,938
It doesn't really matter.

947
00:48:05,998 --> 00:48:10,423
Yeah we're sort of getting into like just idiosyncratic behavior with people.

948
00:48:10,423 --> 00:48:10,453
Okay.

949
00:48:10,453 --> 00:48:11,203
Not personality.

950
00:48:11,208 --> 00:48:11,563
No, no, no.

951
00:48:11,563 --> 00:48:12,043
I'm not.

952
00:48:12,343 --> 00:48:13,723
Well, no, but okay.

953
00:48:13,873 --> 00:48:17,943
But when we're talking about  to label it, we're having a conversation about

954
00:48:17,943 --> 00:48:21,933
comfort and then we're looking at a spectrum of personal comfort to the

955
00:48:21,933 --> 00:48:24,123
exclusion of societal preferences.

956
00:48:24,283 --> 00:48:25,513
And social awareness.

957
00:48:25,543 --> 00:48:25,783
Right.

958
00:48:25,783 --> 00:48:27,163
That's really the conversation we're having.

959
00:48:27,213 --> 00:48:33,533
So if I was oblivious, oblivious to the experience I was presenting other

960
00:48:33,533 --> 00:48:38,193
people, it would not be a problem to be a slob because it wouldn't be

961
00:48:38,313 --> 00:48:40,503
hitting me in the face that I was.

962
00:48:41,263 --> 00:48:44,803
Failing to adhere to standards of behavior.

963
00:48:45,133 --> 00:48:50,353
'cause all I was aware of was my own personal experience.

964
00:48:50,383 --> 00:48:54,493
You are like 99.9% I intuition, right?

965
00:48:54,703 --> 00:48:54,793
Yeah.

966
00:48:54,793 --> 00:48:56,373
Or introverted sensing.

967
00:48:56,883 --> 00:48:59,613
Well, right, and regardless of whether we label, but yes.

968
00:48:59,673 --> 00:49:00,063
Yeah.

969
00:49:00,063 --> 00:49:04,198
And in that case actually most, so that's usually the NPs.

970
00:49:04,203 --> 00:49:04,433
Okay.

971
00:49:04,963 --> 00:49:09,973
And especially the INTPs, like my type has an easy tendency

972
00:49:09,973 --> 00:49:11,443
to just ignore everything.

973
00:49:11,443 --> 00:49:16,113
I have stains on my shirt, whatever you know, it's not a big deal 'cause we

974
00:49:16,113 --> 00:49:18,503
have what's called a trickster function.

975
00:49:18,503 --> 00:49:21,653
And our trickster function represents extroverted sensing,

976
00:49:21,653 --> 00:49:24,203
which is the experience that you're giving other people.

977
00:49:24,903 --> 00:49:27,993
You, the experience that you're giving other people is extroverted,

978
00:49:27,993 --> 00:49:31,293
sensing you're seventh function you're blind to, and you don't

979
00:49:31,293 --> 00:49:32,613
even know you're terrible at it.

980
00:49:32,763 --> 00:49:35,193
You have no idea you're terrible at your seventh function.

981
00:49:35,523 --> 00:49:36,783
So there's eight total.

982
00:49:36,813 --> 00:49:40,473
There's four that you're aware of, one that you're kind of bad at, one that

983
00:49:40,473 --> 00:49:43,923
you're effortlessly good at, two that are kind of balanced in the middle.

984
00:49:44,223 --> 00:49:49,143
And then these ones that pop into your consciousness under duress, they'll pop

985
00:49:49,143 --> 00:49:53,163
into your consciousness when problems emerge that you are struggling to handle.

986
00:49:53,403 --> 00:49:54,573
And then they're like, okay.

987
00:49:54,723 --> 00:49:57,933
Like for instance, if you're obsessed with what you think, obsessed with what

988
00:49:57,933 --> 00:50:01,143
you think, obsessed with what you think, finally one day you're like, I'm gonna

989
00:50:01,143 --> 00:50:05,453
listen to the tribe I'm gonna finally humble myself and get some feedback.

990
00:50:05,663 --> 00:50:06,053
Right?

991
00:50:06,413 --> 00:50:10,883
Or it would be like I'm obsessed with how I'm feeling, I'm

992
00:50:10,943 --> 00:50:12,533
obsessed with how I'm feeling.

993
00:50:12,533 --> 00:50:14,933
I'm obsessed with my mood and my stuff.

994
00:50:15,833 --> 00:50:18,143
I'm gonna pay attention to how the tribe's doing.

995
00:50:18,813 --> 00:50:21,903
Every now and then, we'll pivot into these sides of ourselves that

996
00:50:21,903 --> 00:50:26,223
we would rather not unless under duress, unless a stressful event

997
00:50:26,223 --> 00:50:30,333
has occurred, that forces us to use what are called shadow functions.

998
00:50:30,833 --> 00:50:34,013
And our shadow functions are used consciously.

999
00:50:34,133 --> 00:50:38,063
Like they know they're doing it by other personality types.

1000
00:50:38,483 --> 00:50:40,283
They're just unconscious for us.

1001
00:50:40,313 --> 00:50:40,583
Right.

1002
00:50:40,583 --> 00:50:43,583
Some people are hyper aware of the experience they're giving.

1003
00:50:43,793 --> 00:50:45,833
They look fantastic all the time.

1004
00:50:45,833 --> 00:50:47,603
And they're trying to look fantastic.

1005
00:50:47,723 --> 00:50:50,003
If they're uncomfortable, who cares?

1006
00:50:50,033 --> 00:50:52,703
What matters is looking good, right?

1007
00:50:53,213 --> 00:50:56,243
And then the SI people are like, yeah, but who cares about looking good

1008
00:50:56,243 --> 00:50:58,493
if you feel uncomfortable all day?

1009
00:50:59,063 --> 00:50:59,393
Right?

1010
00:50:59,393 --> 00:50:59,663
Yeah.

1011
00:51:00,113 --> 00:51:00,323
Right.

1012
00:51:00,373 --> 00:51:03,073
And so there's the, there are these dichotomies, but there

1013
00:51:03,073 --> 00:51:06,073
exist people that don't give a crap about how comfy they are.

1014
00:51:06,073 --> 00:51:07,393
They don't care.

1015
00:51:07,543 --> 00:51:08,383
They don't care.

1016
00:51:08,383 --> 00:51:08,473
Right.

1017
00:51:08,473 --> 00:51:09,423
It's the high heels.

1018
00:51:09,453 --> 00:51:11,733
Some people, some women will wear them all the time.

1019
00:51:12,573 --> 00:51:18,843
And some people, some women will just wear them only in at some

1020
00:51:20,058 --> 00:51:23,178
highbrow function and only for a certain amount of time because it's,

1021
00:51:23,178 --> 00:51:25,788
and then they're mad and then they're like, oh, thank God.

1022
00:51:25,788 --> 00:51:30,337
And then they take off all their stuff and they're like, oh man the patriarchy

1023
00:51:30,337 --> 00:51:31,957
oppresses me to wear these heels.

1024
00:51:31,957 --> 00:51:34,997
And it's this sort of animosity for, and some are like, thank

1025
00:51:34,997 --> 00:51:36,797
goodness I get to look great.

1026
00:51:37,277 --> 00:51:40,127
And they're like, yes, these rules are not oppressive.

1027
00:51:40,177 --> 00:51:42,037
This is the race I wanna win.

1028
00:51:42,087 --> 00:51:44,067
I'm cool with all the rules.

1029
00:51:44,108 --> 00:51:48,418
And it's just weird what we chafe against as people, like

1030
00:51:48,418 --> 00:51:50,188
what can we not put up with?

1031
00:51:50,728 --> 00:51:55,973
Let me ask you a question on that last topic of the trickster function.

1032
00:51:56,663 --> 00:52:00,803
If you were to analyze me right now, what, and maybe you've said it already,

1033
00:52:00,803 --> 00:52:05,623
and that might be the trickster in me, but what is, would you gather would be my

1034
00:52:05,683 --> 00:52:11,878
trickster function that I'm unaware of, would I, that I'm unaware of or bad at?

1035
00:52:12,603 --> 00:52:16,033
Unaware of and bad at because unaware and bad it's hard to be good at

1036
00:52:16,033 --> 00:52:17,503
something that you're unaware of.

1037
00:52:17,893 --> 00:52:19,603
I guess in theory, it's possible.

1038
00:52:20,033 --> 00:52:25,283
Essentially you, in order to get good at it, you have to pretend to care.

1039
00:52:25,363 --> 00:52:26,563
And that takes effort.

1040
00:52:26,563 --> 00:52:30,943
So you have to have really good reasons to pretend to care, and then

1041
00:52:30,943 --> 00:52:35,923
eventually by mirroring other people, displaying that skill, you can accrue

1042
00:52:35,923 --> 00:52:37,663
it and develop it for yourself.

1043
00:52:37,668 --> 00:52:38,748
Got you can mimic it.

1044
00:52:38,868 --> 00:52:40,428
You can pretend to do it.

1045
00:52:40,748 --> 00:52:44,738
And at a certain point, you'll accrue the capacity, the muscle memory.

1046
00:52:45,098 --> 00:52:51,508
So essentially if you had no nerve endings in your legs, right?

1047
00:52:51,538 --> 00:52:53,278
But they still have the skeleton.

1048
00:52:53,828 --> 00:52:55,598
You could learn to walk.

1049
00:52:55,748 --> 00:52:58,598
You could learn to walk, but no one would look at you and be like.

1050
00:52:59,003 --> 00:53:00,413
He's walking real good.

1051
00:53:00,773 --> 00:53:02,363
He's doing a great job.

1052
00:53:02,703 --> 00:53:05,883
You'd be like this, you'd be, because, you don't have any nerve

1053
00:53:05,883 --> 00:53:07,863
endings there, but you can walk.

1054
00:53:08,013 --> 00:53:09,003
Does that make sense?

1055
00:53:09,118 --> 00:53:09,408
Yeah.

1056
00:53:09,843 --> 00:53:10,053
Yeah.

1057
00:53:10,143 --> 00:53:10,713
What would you say?

1058
00:53:10,713 --> 00:53:13,743
My, so that's my trickster function might be or is?

1059
00:53:14,553 --> 00:53:16,203
Oh extroverted feeling.

1060
00:53:16,773 --> 00:53:25,113
So I will ignore and not process my emotional response to a thing.

1061
00:53:25,593 --> 00:53:33,243
What really matters is how everyone else is feeling like it, it doesn't

1062
00:53:33,243 --> 00:53:36,093
matter about my experience, it matters.

1063
00:53:37,023 --> 00:53:39,423
Is the vibe being respected?

1064
00:53:39,933 --> 00:53:41,103
Are we cool?

1065
00:53:41,103 --> 00:53:41,373
Okay.

1066
00:53:41,398 --> 00:53:45,048
So you're saying that I'm valuing the feelings and thoughts of

1067
00:53:45,048 --> 00:53:47,658
others more so than my own.

1068
00:53:47,868 --> 00:53:48,948
Is that opposite?

1069
00:53:50,508 --> 00:53:54,918
I am valuing my own feelings more so than of the group.

1070
00:53:55,548 --> 00:53:55,878
Yeah.

1071
00:53:55,878 --> 00:53:58,428
And I wanna be clear, this is not an accusation.

1072
00:53:59,148 --> 00:54:02,288
I wanna just label it because oftentimes it can, it's like,

1073
00:54:02,288 --> 00:54:03,998
Hey, this, you're bad at this.

1074
00:54:04,328 --> 00:54:04,598
And it's, yeah.

1075
00:54:05,383 --> 00:54:12,343
It's valid be, and I'm thinking about it in terms of, my things I've done in the

1076
00:54:12,343 --> 00:54:20,033
past, and particularly with coaching, like ball coaching, it translates

1077
00:54:20,033 --> 00:54:21,713
to what I'm doing now a little bit.

1078
00:54:21,713 --> 00:54:26,433
But, a lot of coaching conventions and stuff, a lot of coaches say, yeah, we just

1079
00:54:26,523 --> 00:54:31,983
gotta be empathetic to our ball players, our fellow coaches, all this stuff.

1080
00:54:32,433 --> 00:54:36,373
And it's like, man, it's not, it's, you're not just pressing a button

1081
00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:38,913
and, producing empathy for people.

1082
00:54:39,813 --> 00:54:46,323
And I think it's a, I and I don't know, I've struggled with defining empathy.

1083
00:54:46,323 --> 00:54:52,023
And I've done a lot of reading about it, and it's one of the, one of

1084
00:54:52,023 --> 00:54:55,483
the books I read, it's nah, there's no such actual thing as empathy.

1085
00:54:55,483 --> 00:54:59,563
It's like always a kind of a the carrot and the stick.

1086
00:54:59,563 --> 00:55:00,583
It's al it is always out there.

1087
00:55:00,583 --> 00:55:04,483
You're never gonna get it, you're never gonna get true empathy.

1088
00:55:05,143 --> 00:55:10,183
But it's a standard or a something to reach for the idea.

1089
00:55:10,453 --> 00:55:16,393
The ideal is up there, but the reality really doesn't exist.

1090
00:55:16,393 --> 00:55:19,813
I don't know where you come out on that or if you've ever thought

1091
00:55:19,813 --> 00:55:24,563
about it or do that at all, but I tie that into the extroverted

1092
00:55:24,563 --> 00:55:27,713
feeling is more empathetic in nature.

1093
00:55:28,773 --> 00:55:31,803
There's two, two kind of competing thoughts perhaps, but...

1094
00:55:31,993 --> 00:55:32,923
to clarify.

1095
00:55:33,403 --> 00:55:34,843
Oh, and I wanna be, and.

1096
00:55:35,488 --> 00:55:38,548
In case there's any misunderstanding, and I'm not saying you misunderstood.

1097
00:55:38,978 --> 00:55:43,618
FI says, I, it's the definition of sympathy.

1098
00:55:43,708 --> 00:55:47,278
I have felt this thing, therefore, I can understand the feeling that you have.

1099
00:55:47,548 --> 00:55:54,148
I am not taking on your feeling, I am feeling from myself with you.

1100
00:55:54,198 --> 00:55:56,028
Because I too have felt that.

1101
00:55:56,058 --> 00:55:58,908
So it's coming from a, from within and then, yeah.

1102
00:55:59,223 --> 00:56:01,543
Sympathy different than empathy for sure.

1103
00:56:01,563 --> 00:56:05,318
And empathy by definition is, I don't really know.

1104
00:56:05,478 --> 00:56:08,958
And maybe I have had experience with that, but it's not necessary.

1105
00:56:09,018 --> 00:56:11,538
Like the other day I have extroverted feeling.

1106
00:56:12,588 --> 00:56:17,988
I got really sad all of a sudden because the person in front of me was getting sad.

1107
00:56:18,708 --> 00:56:20,208
And I was like, oh no.

1108
00:56:20,268 --> 00:56:23,028
And I could feel all the feelings.

1109
00:56:23,418 --> 00:56:26,658
Like those weren't, it wasn't my stuff.

1110
00:56:27,078 --> 00:56:29,808
And it was just like, oh, you are sad.

1111
00:56:29,868 --> 00:56:32,598
And I like, and I knew how they felt.

1112
00:56:33,048 --> 00:56:36,198
And it had nothing to do with something I had felt in the past.

1113
00:56:36,198 --> 00:56:40,998
It was just taking on like the emotional experience of the people nearby me.

1114
00:56:41,083 --> 00:56:44,983
And the higher up the extroverted feeling is, the more intense and aware

1115
00:56:44,983 --> 00:56:50,953
you are, and usually because you're more sensitive to it, it affects you more.

1116
00:56:51,283 --> 00:56:51,583
Right?

1117
00:56:52,003 --> 00:56:52,423
Yeah.

1118
00:56:52,423 --> 00:56:53,263
No, I, all right.

1119
00:56:53,563 --> 00:56:56,683
I, we've probably got a few more minutes, Scott, don't we?

1120
00:56:56,973 --> 00:56:57,543
This is fun.

1121
00:56:57,903 --> 00:57:00,723
But I have these meetings on occasion every couple weeks

1122
00:57:00,723 --> 00:57:03,423
with the other facilitators within Tom Woods School of Life.

1123
00:57:03,813 --> 00:57:07,473
And we talk about anything and everything related to the school about it.

1124
00:57:08,973 --> 00:57:14,013
And, some of the, some of 'em know other members and perhaps better than even I do.

1125
00:57:14,163 --> 00:57:21,589
And one of the facilitators was talking about a member and oh, like this and this.

1126
00:57:21,833 --> 00:57:23,693
I said, I didn't even pick up on that.

1127
00:57:24,803 --> 00:57:28,743
I had no idea about a personality trait.

1128
00:57:28,743 --> 00:57:32,253
And I'm like it's starting to make sense why, this behavior

1129
00:57:32,253 --> 00:57:34,113
and that behavior exhibit.

1130
00:57:34,353 --> 00:57:38,473
Good, great people, all of them, but it's oh, no wonder I can't quite get through.

1131
00:57:38,483 --> 00:57:39,803
I didn't even recognize that.

1132
00:57:39,803 --> 00:57:43,493
But that's what you're saying is going back to probably more of

1133
00:57:43,493 --> 00:57:47,813
that extroverted feeling because I'm, it's harder for me to.

1134
00:57:48,398 --> 00:57:49,508
'cause it's more concrete.

1135
00:57:49,508 --> 00:57:51,698
What I'm seeing You tell me this.

1136
00:57:52,118 --> 00:57:53,168
I take in that

1137
00:57:53,978 --> 00:57:54,248
Yes.

1138
00:57:54,263 --> 00:57:55,918
And subtext.

1139
00:57:55,918 --> 00:57:57,058
What is subtext?

1140
00:57:57,108 --> 00:57:58,218
Get that outta here.

1141
00:57:58,698 --> 00:58:00,138
Let's just stay real.

1142
00:58:00,258 --> 00:58:00,648
Quit.

1143
00:58:00,648 --> 00:58:04,368
Quit with this weird, fill in the blank mess.

1144
00:58:04,518 --> 00:58:04,818
Yeah.

1145
00:58:04,868 --> 00:58:07,688
So why would we do that when we could just not do that?

1146
00:58:08,138 --> 00:58:13,808
But when that was exposed to me, then I'm, I start thinking, I'm like, I

1147
00:58:13,808 --> 00:58:19,718
gotta look a little deeper than what just the words coming out at me are,

1148
00:58:20,378 --> 00:58:22,803
because I need to see that a little more.

1149
00:58:23,433 --> 00:58:26,793
Not with that member with everybody.

1150
00:58:28,113 --> 00:58:29,373
It was a real breakthrough actually.

1151
00:58:29,403 --> 00:58:32,583
It gets so complicated once you start doing that, you're

1152
00:58:32,583 --> 00:58:35,888
like, oh no, it's too much.

1153
00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:39,683
And I can see how, particularly with your personality type

1154
00:58:40,283 --> 00:58:41,573
how that can be exhausting.

1155
00:58:43,133 --> 00:58:43,613
Yeah.

1156
00:58:44,213 --> 00:58:45,833
You're on all the time.

1157
00:58:47,723 --> 00:58:47,783
Yeah.

1158
00:58:47,788 --> 00:58:51,233
If I were doing podcast, if I were doing podcasts all day long, every

1159
00:58:51,233 --> 00:58:55,013
day, radio hosts for crying out loud, four hours is a long day for them.

1160
00:58:55,283 --> 00:58:58,463
And then you get some, like the big guys who have a three or four

1161
00:58:58,463 --> 00:59:02,473
hour radio show and then an hour of television, and that's a big day.

1162
00:59:02,593 --> 00:59:06,733
I'm like, we all work like 8, 9, 10 hours a day doing whatever we're

1163
00:59:06,733 --> 00:59:09,013
doing, like getting on air like that.

1164
00:59:09,613 --> 00:59:10,573
It sounds fun to me.

1165
00:59:10,723 --> 00:59:11,983
Not exhausting, but.

1166
00:59:12,523 --> 00:59:14,203
Again, different personality types.

1167
00:59:14,833 --> 00:59:16,513
Yeah, yeah.

1168
00:59:16,563 --> 00:59:20,933
I was talking to my business partner the other night.

1169
00:59:21,713 --> 00:59:28,023
And she said, Scott, is it too late to have a conversation about, and

1170
00:59:28,023 --> 00:59:33,543
essentially the topic was analyzing complex data, analyzing complex people

1171
00:59:33,543 --> 00:59:36,153
stuff, doing personality typing.

1172
00:59:36,693 --> 00:59:40,603
And I was like,  Gini Lin, even when I'm exhausted, this is

1173
00:59:40,603 --> 00:59:42,403
the easiest energy to summon.

1174
00:59:42,583 --> 00:59:46,213
This is the easiest thing that I can do when I am dead tired.

1175
00:59:46,213 --> 00:59:47,083
I can do it.

1176
00:59:47,513 --> 00:59:49,888
You mean too late in the day to talk about it?

1177
00:59:49,913 --> 00:59:51,803
30 PM

1178
00:59:52,163 --> 00:59:52,433
Oh wow.

1179
00:59:52,433 --> 00:59:52,463
Okay.

1180
00:59:53,463 --> 00:59:54,333
So late.

1181
00:59:54,428 --> 00:59:58,833
Not late, late in your relation business relationship, but late in the physical day

1182
00:59:58,883 --> 00:59:59,423
In the evening.

1183
00:59:59,423 --> 01:00:03,323
So essentially the physiological effects of lack of rest are gonna start

1184
01:00:03,323 --> 01:00:07,523
emerging later unless you regularly go to bed at that time, which I don't.

1185
01:00:08,053 --> 01:00:11,633
But it's the easiest thing in the world to do that.

1186
01:00:11,633 --> 01:00:17,392
Now, if you wanted to have me be highly emotionally connected with

1187
01:00:17,392 --> 01:00:22,252
you, fully available, I'm gonna need like a five hour warmup.

1188
01:00:22,592 --> 01:00:26,132
I'm gonna, I'm gonna need to be fresh in the morning to do a good job.

1189
01:00:26,532 --> 01:00:31,512
Like I could do a really terrible job about taking on your emotional experience

1190
01:00:31,602 --> 01:00:33,492
and being sympathetic kind and caring.

1191
01:00:33,522 --> 01:00:35,142
I can totally do that.

1192
01:00:35,142 --> 01:00:38,722
I can . But not in abundant doses.

1193
01:00:39,292 --> 01:00:44,442
And it's very hard to do when I myself am tired, whereas.

1194
01:00:45,117 --> 01:00:49,737
Analyzing and cohering data and figuring out patterns and conclusions.

1195
01:00:50,077 --> 01:00:53,827
I can do that when I haven't slept for two days.

1196
01:00:54,222 --> 01:00:56,562
I wouldn't, I would do it poorly.

1197
01:00:57,142 --> 01:00:58,342
I can still do it.

1198
01:00:58,862 --> 01:01:01,742
And I think that's the difference is like, so those dominant

1199
01:01:01,742 --> 01:01:04,472
functions, we always can do them.

1200
01:01:04,622 --> 01:01:05,552
It's like breathing.

1201
01:01:06,212 --> 01:01:06,782
Right.

1202
01:01:06,962 --> 01:01:14,672
So is this brings me to another example when you mention that, and is

1203
01:01:14,672 --> 01:01:22,027
this more like a nuance of behavior or is this a personality type that

1204
01:01:22,027 --> 01:01:24,067
you would do this or not do it?

1205
01:01:24,067 --> 01:01:27,767
So oh yeah, I'm available, but it's going to, I'm just cashing

1206
01:01:27,767 --> 01:01:29,057
it in, but I'm available.

1207
01:01:29,057 --> 01:01:29,807
I'll do it.

1208
01:01:30,617 --> 01:01:31,127
Or.

1209
01:01:32,057 --> 01:01:35,867
Would you prefer to just not do it at all until you have that five

1210
01:01:35,867 --> 01:01:37,787
minute warm or that five hour warmup?

1211
01:01:38,867 --> 01:01:39,887
Or does it matter?

1212
01:01:40,577 --> 01:01:40,847
Because

1213
01:01:40,847 --> 01:01:45,057
Well, the answer is that's a spectrum and certainly some personality types

1214
01:01:45,057 --> 01:01:48,357
will lean in the direction that you described and some will lean in

1215
01:01:48,357 --> 01:01:49,797
the other direction you described.

1216
01:01:50,217 --> 01:01:53,032
So the NPs don't mind half-assing it.

1217
01:01:53,037 --> 01:01:53,097
Okay.

1218
01:01:53,697 --> 01:01:57,987
Like they'll show up and do a crappy job.

1219
01:01:58,657 --> 01:01:59,497
'cause they're like, yeah, no.

1220
01:01:59,687 --> 01:02:02,317
at least something' s getting done?

1221
01:02:02,737 --> 01:02:05,512
Some people like, well if you started it, you should finish it

1222
01:02:05,512 --> 01:02:10,372
and it needs to be finished properly so those guys just don't start.

1223
01:02:10,822 --> 01:02:11,182
Right.

1224
01:02:11,182 --> 01:02:13,852
So if, if you're the, so, so, does that make sense?

1225
01:02:14,102 --> 01:02:17,072
If you're terrified of leaving a project incomplete.

1226
01:02:17,382 --> 01:02:19,062
Probably won't start it.

1227
01:02:19,627 --> 01:02:22,347
Unless you know that you have the energy to complete it.

1228
01:02:22,617 --> 01:02:27,297
And what if it's one of those huge energy sucking, life changing projects?

1229
01:02:27,567 --> 01:02:31,397
It just means you'll never do it unless like a asteroid hits the

1230
01:02:31,397 --> 01:02:32,957
earth and then it's time to change.

1231
01:02:32,957 --> 01:02:34,307
And then you're like, I'm gonna go.

1232
01:02:34,487 --> 01:02:36,227
So it takes some Herculean effort,

1233
01:02:36,227 --> 01:02:36,647
podcasting.

1234
01:02:37,902 --> 01:02:38,932
Right, right.

1235
01:02:39,032 --> 01:02:39,887
And then, okay.

1236
01:02:40,157 --> 01:02:46,347
And the flip side is the people that start things, it's almost impossible to finish.

1237
01:02:46,707 --> 01:02:50,027
And so they're like, man, isn't it cool that Brian O'Leary

1238
01:02:50,027 --> 01:02:51,707
is able to be a coherent?

1239
01:02:51,857 --> 01:02:53,297
And he stays responsible.

1240
01:02:53,297 --> 01:02:53,597
Wow.

1241
01:02:53,597 --> 01:02:54,497
I'm so envious.

1242
01:02:54,677 --> 01:02:57,347
But they don't know how hard it was.

1243
01:02:57,902 --> 01:02:58,802
To begin.

1244
01:02:59,262 --> 01:03:03,852
It's the getting going is often, people are stuck a lot.

1245
01:03:03,942 --> 01:03:05,047
And I talk about this a lot.

1246
01:03:05,097 --> 01:03:08,387
I have here, I don't know if we have it on video, but I have this kind of like

1247
01:03:08,387 --> 01:03:09,797
offensive coordinator's play sheet.

1248
01:03:10,037 --> 01:03:13,817
You know, things that come up a lot of time in our calls.

1249
01:03:13,877 --> 01:03:17,867
And one, one of the things I say I have just in, in this one square, it

1250
01:03:17,867 --> 01:03:19,997
says, stuck some ideas to get unstuck.

1251
01:03:20,087 --> 01:03:21,587
Define your mission.

1252
01:03:23,087 --> 01:03:28,627
Do something mindlessly boring to don't dwell on this thing and do

1253
01:03:28,627 --> 01:03:31,817
something that's totally unrelated, but that's also interesting and creative.

1254
01:03:32,207 --> 01:03:35,867
You might have a different system to do that because I haven't

1255
01:03:35,867 --> 01:03:38,087
changed this since we had a talk.

1256
01:03:38,087 --> 01:03:38,177
It's.

1257
01:03:41,357 --> 01:03:43,577
You wanna do the opposite almost to get unstuck.

1258
01:03:43,667 --> 01:03:46,967
I think from your personality, Scott, sometimes you'd want to be still

1259
01:03:47,912 --> 01:03:50,237
Yeah, I desire, yeah.

1260
01:03:50,237 --> 01:03:52,007
It's a different, it's a different thing.

1261
01:03:52,787 --> 01:03:53,177
Yeah.

1262
01:03:54,267 --> 01:03:55,797
Anyway, I wanted to get back to this point.

1263
01:03:55,797 --> 01:03:56,817
I saw this interview.

1264
01:03:56,977 --> 01:04:01,117
YouTube, and it was David Letterman early days interviewing Christopher

1265
01:04:01,117 --> 01:04:05,297
Reeve, just, not too long after maybe when he was, you know, early

1266
01:04:05,297 --> 01:04:06,947
days of the Superman franchise.

1267
01:04:07,607 --> 01:04:10,537
And he said, oh man, it must have been great working with Marlon Brando.

1268
01:04:11,377 --> 01:04:13,207
And he's like, actually, no, it sucked.

1269
01:04:14,032 --> 01:04:15,682
Some, I think that was the language.

1270
01:04:15,952 --> 01:04:16,492
He's like, it sucks.

1271
01:04:16,732 --> 01:04:17,332
He's like, whoa.

1272
01:04:17,842 --> 01:04:20,572
He's like, he's a great, he's don't get me wrong, he's a great actor.

1273
01:04:20,632 --> 01:04:23,432
Love actually liked working with him, but he just mailed

1274
01:04:23,432 --> 01:04:25,662
it in, he just mailed it in.

1275
01:04:25,662 --> 01:04:28,932
He could do that and he could essentially do that work in his sleep.

1276
01:04:29,172 --> 01:04:34,362
He was just there to do the job and give nothing back.

1277
01:04:34,512 --> 01:04:39,102
And honestly, probably the way I interpret it he took nothing in, he

1278
01:04:39,102 --> 01:04:41,052
was just there literally to do the job.

1279
01:04:41,382 --> 01:04:44,982
So he not got no personal interaction with folks.

1280
01:04:44,982 --> 01:04:48,252
And that was the thing that bugged Christopher Reeve the most.

1281
01:04:48,822 --> 01:04:50,437
Not that he got the 2 million bucks.

1282
01:04:50,977 --> 01:04:51,238
2 million bucks.

1283
01:04:51,282 --> 01:04:52,212
He said, fine, he earned it.

1284
01:04:52,212 --> 01:04:52,872
He's a great actor.

1285
01:04:52,872 --> 01:04:53,112
Right.

1286
01:04:53,682 --> 01:04:59,262
But there was no personal communication, or interaction really with this great pers

1287
01:04:59,292 --> 01:05:04,622
this supposed a great actor and person and this new up, up and coming actor that

1288
01:05:04,892 --> 01:05:07,412
wanted to show the world what he can do.

1289
01:05:07,412 --> 01:05:09,842
And like he felt kind of like he got cheated.

1290
01:05:11,187 --> 01:05:14,757
I had a call with my longest client.

1291
01:05:14,757 --> 01:05:18,627
I've been working with him for a couple years, and we had a conversation

1292
01:05:18,627 --> 01:05:24,497
about effort and that isn't the same thing as succeeding, because you

1293
01:05:24,497 --> 01:05:28,217
can fail, but there's still Okay.

1294
01:05:28,247 --> 01:05:29,747
And we want success.

1295
01:05:29,777 --> 01:05:35,957
We want people to deliver the goods, but we worship, or worship

1296
01:05:36,227 --> 01:05:43,877
is perhaps not the precise word, but we're Effort means something.

1297
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:49,607
Effort means I can't say what it means, but like when you see, okay.

1298
01:05:49,847 --> 01:05:53,417
Let's say ultimately a kid is trying out on a team.

1299
01:05:53,837 --> 01:05:55,877
And he is not as good.

1300
01:05:56,022 --> 01:05:57,392
As the other soccer players.

1301
01:05:57,482 --> 01:05:59,402
He's not as good as the other baseball players.

1302
01:05:59,402 --> 01:06:00,242
We'll use baseball.

1303
01:06:01,452 --> 01:06:02,682
He can't hit it.

1304
01:06:02,772 --> 01:06:06,612
But like in practice, no one is hustling like he is.

1305
01:06:06,907 --> 01:06:07,347
I love those things.

1306
01:06:07,347 --> 01:06:11,442
He's the chubby boy with asthma and he's just running and he is like falling

1307
01:06:11,442 --> 01:06:13,182
over 'cause he is running so hard.

1308
01:06:13,182 --> 01:06:14,952
His little heart is pounding.

1309
01:06:15,282 --> 01:06:16,542
He's like five foot one.

1310
01:06:16,542 --> 01:06:18,222
All the other boys are five foot five.

1311
01:06:18,612 --> 01:06:20,262
But he's almost keeping up.

1312
01:06:20,352 --> 01:06:24,682
But what he is working with is so much worse in terms of like physical

1313
01:06:24,802 --> 01:06:28,492
acumen and there's something so inspira you're just like, yes,

1314
01:06:28,492 --> 01:06:28,732
totally.

1315
01:06:29,277 --> 01:06:29,687
It's awesome.

1316
01:06:29,772 --> 01:06:35,772
And I was talking to him about that and it's like effort and I can't remember

1317
01:06:35,772 --> 01:06:42,522
what came out of it, but it was just like, don't forget how meaningful effort is.

1318
01:06:42,582 --> 01:06:47,352
People will remember that you worked hard.

1319
01:06:47,502 --> 01:06:48,162
And here's the thing.

1320
01:06:48,372 --> 01:06:51,702
So that's the cool thing with typing people.

1321
01:06:52,242 --> 01:06:55,902
Is you can know when they're on hard mode.

1322
01:06:56,697 --> 01:07:01,797
When they're doing the thing that they're terrible at because they love you or

1323
01:07:01,797 --> 01:07:03,717
because they value your relationship.

1324
01:07:03,867 --> 01:07:06,207
They're gonna do the thing that they hate doing.

1325
01:07:06,867 --> 01:07:07,947
On your behalf.

1326
01:07:08,007 --> 01:07:09,207
And they'll do bad.

1327
01:07:09,567 --> 01:07:11,787
They actually won't do a good job at it.

1328
01:07:12,207 --> 01:07:15,237
Your kids will make the burnt scrambled eggs and the weird

1329
01:07:15,357 --> 01:07:19,587
pancakes for the bed and breakfast, and you're like, this is gross.

1330
01:07:19,647 --> 01:07:20,607
Thank you.

1331
01:07:21,027 --> 01:07:21,117
Yes.

1332
01:07:21,357 --> 01:07:26,577
But you can feel that gratitude for the failure because you know

1333
01:07:26,577 --> 01:07:31,137
how difficult the feat was for the person that's presenting it to you.

1334
01:07:31,137 --> 01:07:34,447
And so there's something to the, this concept of effort.

1335
01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:35,077
Yeah.

1336
01:07:35,127 --> 01:07:39,237
I see that loud and clear with my experience in coaching, coaching,

1337
01:07:39,237 --> 01:07:40,827
baseball, and even playing baseball.

1338
01:07:40,827 --> 01:07:46,527
Like I love the guy, those type of guys on my team, I didn't care if they played.

1339
01:07:47,247 --> 01:07:48,117
If they got a hit.

1340
01:07:49,077 --> 01:07:53,277
But I knew they were gonna give it all they got for the

1341
01:07:53,277 --> 01:07:55,317
other people, for our team.

1342
01:07:55,797 --> 01:07:59,757
And it really I saw that in a major way.

1343
01:07:59,807 --> 01:08:03,917
Some of the kids I would play like, wow, like I'm starting

1344
01:08:04,187 --> 01:08:06,587
like, Hey, you earned it.

1345
01:08:07,517 --> 01:08:08,477
Just go out and show it.

1346
01:08:08,567 --> 01:08:11,087
And if you don't show it, then you know you're back on

1347
01:08:11,087 --> 01:08:13,157
the bench, but you earned it.

1348
01:08:14,177 --> 01:08:14,627
He didn't.

1349
01:08:16,467 --> 01:08:21,157
And then you, it's even better when these guys go out and perform at that

1350
01:08:21,157 --> 01:08:23,047
level 'cause then it builds the team.

1351
01:08:23,047 --> 01:08:27,767
Not that we're talking more personality here, but like typing people, if I

1352
01:08:27,767 --> 01:08:32,327
had known more about this stuff, I would've been much more informed and

1353
01:08:32,327 --> 01:08:34,037
much more confident in those decisions.

1354
01:08:34,037 --> 01:08:38,257
It was a gut decision, you know, and you'd see a lot of pro sports coaches

1355
01:08:38,417 --> 01:08:40,947
or baseball managers or whatever.

1356
01:08:40,947 --> 01:08:46,197
They go the old, they call it old school, they go on gut and they're like, they

1357
01:08:46,197 --> 01:08:48,897
poo poo all the analytics these days.

1358
01:08:48,897 --> 01:08:50,487
Well, I'm like, you gotta have both.

1359
01:08:50,487 --> 01:08:54,972
You have to know the stuff and you have to have a good instinct.

1360
01:08:54,972 --> 01:09:00,852
But instinct often is developed over time based on all these things and

1361
01:09:00,852 --> 01:09:02,712
experiences you have seen over time.

1362
01:09:02,742 --> 01:09:04,302
And you pay attention to them.

1363
01:09:05,052 --> 01:09:06,732
You pay attention to these things that happen.

1364
01:09:06,732 --> 01:09:11,862
It's not just like, ah, I got this, you know, like queasy feeling in my stomach.

1365
01:09:11,862 --> 01:09:15,492
I better pinch hit so-and-so for so and so and then we're gonna win the game.

1366
01:09:15,492 --> 01:09:16,992
That's a bunch of, bunch of crap.

1367
01:09:16,992 --> 01:09:18,102
It's bs it doesn't work.

1368
01:09:18,552 --> 01:09:22,062
I mean, it might be work in luck, but it doesn't, it's not a strategy by any means.

1369
01:09:22,602 --> 01:09:23,082
Yeah.

1370
01:09:23,137 --> 01:09:27,647
Like in the end I think effort is the leaven in the bread.

1371
01:09:27,677 --> 01:09:27,707
Okay.

1372
01:09:29,057 --> 01:09:29,477
Yeah.

1373
01:09:29,687 --> 01:09:33,767
No matter what, no matter what, you need the bread 'cause you'll starve

1374
01:09:33,767 --> 01:09:35,717
to death and you can't eat yeast.

1375
01:09:36,257 --> 01:09:36,557
Right?

1376
01:09:36,587 --> 01:09:39,047
You could eat yeast, but that's not really calorically dense.

1377
01:09:40,217 --> 01:09:43,607
But a really great loaf of bread needs yeast.

1378
01:09:43,657 --> 01:09:47,507
So think about a regular team that does a really good job.

1379
01:09:47,507 --> 01:09:52,457
And then think about if they had a wildly effortful player or handful

1380
01:09:52,457 --> 01:09:57,677
of players in that team that raised the performance of the team beyond a

1381
01:09:57,677 --> 01:10:01,977
career player to striving and working.

1382
01:10:01,977 --> 01:10:04,027
So think of the Kobe Bryant, the Michael Jordan

1383
01:10:04,347 --> 01:10:07,147
Go from a good to a championship team is what happened.

1384
01:10:07,147 --> 01:10:08,077
That's exactly right.

1385
01:10:08,387 --> 01:10:10,487
Sorry, I didn't mean to interject that.

1386
01:10:10,967 --> 01:10:11,807
You get it.

1387
01:10:11,807 --> 01:10:13,267
That's, that's the point I was trying to make.

1388
01:10:13,267 --> 01:10:14,917
Yeah, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave it here.

1389
01:10:14,917 --> 01:10:16,117
We're talking baseball.

1390
01:10:16,117 --> 01:10:19,507
Scott probably is a little uncomfortable talking baseball, but we'll do it anyway.

1391
01:10:20,107 --> 01:10:20,167
Yeah.

1392
01:10:20,167 --> 01:10:26,342
And I have I made this, really it's like a huge book if I were ever to get

1393
01:10:26,342 --> 01:10:29,942
back into coaching again, and I have all these systems and practices and

1394
01:10:29,972 --> 01:10:34,082
whatever, and, but I have, and it's not personality types, but certain

1395
01:10:34,082 --> 01:10:40,632
traits that I want in players and coaches with examples from, really

1396
01:10:40,632 --> 01:10:46,712
from big league baseball and there's this fellow Johnny Gomes who played on

1397
01:10:46,712 --> 01:10:48,992
several championship baseball clubs.

1398
01:10:49,352 --> 01:10:52,082
He was one of these guys that everybody wanted on his team

1399
01:10:52,712 --> 01:10:54,812
because he would raise the level.

1400
01:10:54,812 --> 01:10:57,992
He was a good player, not a great player, but a pretty darn

1401
01:10:57,992 --> 01:11:00,122
good player most of his career.

1402
01:11:01,022 --> 01:11:03,737
But he gave, he was a teammate.

1403
01:11:04,157 --> 01:11:10,047
He raised the level of all these people, and I see that, and when

1404
01:11:10,047 --> 01:11:14,667
I was growing up I guess I was just naturally kind of that way.

1405
01:11:14,667 --> 01:11:16,497
I never consciously thought about it.

1406
01:11:16,497 --> 01:11:20,727
Getting back to an earlier point we made, like I never consciously thought about

1407
01:11:20,727 --> 01:11:27,297
that, but as I got into the coaching realm, I'm like, oh, that's what I want.

1408
01:11:27,447 --> 01:11:29,817
I want that guy on my team.

1409
01:11:29,817 --> 01:11:31,287
I want a bunch of those guys.

1410
01:11:31,527 --> 01:11:34,587
I don't care if so and so or so and so isn't that guy.

1411
01:11:34,797 --> 01:11:37,527
But I want all those gap fillers to have.

1412
01:11:38,802 --> 01:11:41,622
This way of thinking, this way of going after it.

1413
01:11:42,012 --> 01:11:48,107
And I think that works and that has brought me over to say even the work we

1414
01:11:48,107 --> 01:11:51,237
do every week, Scott, where, I see it now.

1415
01:11:51,267 --> 01:11:58,317
Not everybody is capable to share and we don't even need to share things

1416
01:11:58,377 --> 01:12:02,487
that we're not comfortable with, but not everybody does what they do within

1417
01:12:02,487 --> 01:12:06,487
these small groups and it's low, it's relatively low stakes, what we're doing.

1418
01:12:06,487 --> 01:12:08,927
Not something you get when you go with Scott.

1419
01:12:08,987 --> 01:12:14,327
But you know, I can see alright, oh I want, I know this guy or this

1420
01:12:14,327 --> 01:12:18,807
girl, woman this man or this woman is going to help fill the gap to

1421
01:12:18,807 --> 01:12:21,777
raise the level of this entire group.

1422
01:12:21,807 --> 01:12:26,127
And it's not, I'm not picking and choosing like, oh, this guy's bringing it down.

1423
01:12:26,727 --> 01:12:28,767
She's raising it up or he's raising it up.

1424
01:12:28,977 --> 01:12:30,267
She's, he's bringing it down.

1425
01:12:30,267 --> 01:12:33,927
No, it's the, if the entire, I think of it as a team, if they

1426
01:12:33,927 --> 01:12:37,347
all come together and their roles.

1427
01:12:38,607 --> 01:12:41,247
Everybody has a roll, whether they know it or not, and it works.

1428
01:12:41,337 --> 01:12:46,107
It just flat out works 90% of the time, 95% of the time.

1429
01:12:46,107 --> 01:12:47,427
It works pretty darn well.

1430
01:12:48,477 --> 01:12:54,317
And I have to thank you and all the other members for just making this particularly

1431
01:12:54,317 --> 01:12:57,937
understanding that  and knowing that, and making these things go well week

1432
01:12:57,937 --> 01:12:59,587
after week because I didn't know.

1433
01:12:59,677 --> 01:13:01,117
Honestly, I didn't know what I was getting into.

1434
01:13:02,737 --> 01:13:03,337
Yeah.

1435
01:13:03,387 --> 01:13:06,697
Effort is essentially the cement between the bricks.

1436
01:13:06,697 --> 01:13:11,296
You still want uncracked, strong bricks, but you also need the

1437
01:13:11,296 --> 01:13:13,456
thing that holds them all together.

1438
01:13:13,816 --> 01:13:14,266
Yeah.

1439
01:13:14,441 --> 01:13:14,731
Yeah.

1440
01:13:14,736 --> 01:13:20,781
And I think that's the, in sports, they have a expression for, there,

1441
01:13:20,841 --> 01:13:22,611
there's a glue guy on the team.

1442
01:13:22,701 --> 01:13:23,271
A glue guy.

1443
01:13:23,271 --> 01:13:23,331
Yeah.

1444
01:13:23,811 --> 01:13:24,471
There it is.

1445
01:13:24,476 --> 01:13:25,156
Is what they call 'em.

1446
01:13:25,206 --> 01:13:28,176
And I, and you know, you hear that over and over and sports

1447
01:13:28,176 --> 01:13:29,256
writers often write things.

1448
01:13:29,256 --> 01:13:31,206
They don't even know what they're talking about, but they

1449
01:13:31,206 --> 01:13:32,256
hear it from somebody else.

1450
01:13:32,526 --> 01:13:37,656
But if you know these things, if you start studying these things, the better

1451
01:13:37,656 --> 01:13:41,976
off you're gonna be, whether you go to sports or business or frankly, like

1452
01:13:42,276 --> 01:13:46,536
being a barber or a cab driver like I once was, and I was like, these things,

1453
01:13:47,076 --> 01:13:52,176
you're gonna be just better at what you do, the more you learn about people.

1454
01:13:52,226 --> 01:13:54,236
And I just think it's, I think it's wonderful.

1455
01:13:54,656 --> 01:14:00,026
But any last words, Scott, before we say bid adieu, for at least for

1456
01:14:00,026 --> 01:14:01,316
now, we can put a bookmark in this.

1457
01:14:01,646 --> 01:14:01,976
Continue.

1458
01:14:01,976 --> 01:14:02,036
Yeah.

1459
01:14:02,306 --> 01:14:03,896
Well, no, I was gonna say amen.

1460
01:14:03,926 --> 01:14:05,396
I, it was great to be on the.

1461
01:14:05,941 --> 01:14:07,091
Great to be on the pod.

1462
01:14:07,221 --> 01:14:08,291
Great to be on the podcast.

1463
01:14:08,481 --> 01:14:08,771
Yeah.

1464
01:14:08,771 --> 01:14:09,451
Appreciate it.

1465
01:14:10,346 --> 01:14:10,526
Yeah.

1466
01:14:10,526 --> 01:14:14,936
So let's send the good folks out there to Tools with Scott.

1467
01:14:15,086 --> 01:14:19,556
Like I said, there's a Coming Soon, new website should be done.

1468
01:14:19,626 --> 01:14:19,656
Yeah.

1469
01:14:20,241 --> 01:14:20,601
All right.

1470
01:14:20,601 --> 01:14:24,881
And then book a book, a one-to-one call with Scott.

1471
01:14:24,971 --> 01:14:28,301
He can go more into depth or less into depth, however you wanna do it.

1472
01:14:28,306 --> 01:14:28,336
Yeah.

1473
01:14:28,336 --> 01:14:31,846
All my contact info is on the retreat website.

1474
01:14:32,176 --> 01:14:36,216
And and then if you're in Tom Woods School of Life, you can direct message me.

1475
01:14:36,216 --> 01:14:39,646
I'm the only Scott Fischbuch in the school, so that's pretty safe.

1476
01:14:40,216 --> 01:14:40,426
Yeah.

1477
01:14:40,426 --> 01:14:43,726
Just direct message, Scott, if you're in the school, and

1478
01:14:43,776 --> 01:14:45,226
if not, if you wanna get, if.

1479
01:14:46,186 --> 01:14:51,226
Like I said earlier, BrianDOLeary.com/tsol stands for Tom's School of Life.

1480
01:14:51,226 --> 01:14:53,696
It's a wonderful program and Scott's attest to it in the

1481
01:14:53,696 --> 01:14:55,382
past, and I attest to it now.

1482
01:14:55,411 --> 01:14:56,381
And good group.

1483
01:14:56,432 --> 01:15:02,492
We meet some great people, and and I would say this last Friday on a call one

1484
01:15:02,492 --> 01:15:06,482
of the members just said, without Tom Woods even being there, he said, kudos

1485
01:15:06,482 --> 01:15:07,892
to Tom for bringing us all together.

1486
01:15:08,192 --> 01:15:09,032
I was like yeah.

1487
01:15:09,032 --> 01:15:10,202
I wouldn't know a guy like Scott.

1488
01:15:10,202 --> 01:15:11,432
There's no way I would ever met him.

1489
01:15:11,912 --> 01:15:12,487
And now I do.

1490
01:15:12,487 --> 01:15:12,887
That's true.

1491
01:15:12,887 --> 01:15:13,567
And it's wonderful.

1492
01:15:13,637 --> 01:15:13,927
Yeah.

1493
01:15:13,927 --> 01:15:17,067
And I appreciate it and I appreciate all the folks in my life.

1494
01:15:17,127 --> 01:15:22,507
And anyway with that being said, we will catch you later folks, and I appreciate

1495
01:15:22,507 --> 01:15:23,617
you spending all this time with us.

1496
01:15:23,617 --> 01:15:24,007
Thank you.

1497
01:15:30,367 --> 01:15:33,827
For more of our podcasts, head on over to BrianDOLeary.Com.

1498
01:15:34,267 --> 01:15:37,177
And while you're over there, sign up for our email list.

1499
01:15:37,237 --> 01:15:39,607
We'll send you daily emails.

1500
01:15:40,057 --> 01:15:42,847
You can also find the link for our Substack page and various

1501
01:15:42,847 --> 01:15:44,317
other resource pages we have.

1502
01:15:44,887 --> 01:15:48,087
And that's at BrianDOLeary.com