so very welcome back to my travel diaries
there's something I wanted to share that is not really connected to the traveling itself that
occurred while traveling or while living on the canary islands and then started to travel again
and regarding education and yeah how you treat your kids i wanted to share that story it's quite
dark i mean the last time i shared a dark story about this educational project on the canary
islands that was quite dark as well um but this is just the truth what i experienced on the canary
islands is a lot of yeah child abuse pedophilia that is covered up and the social workers or the
social yeah the system that is there for protecting kids is looking somewhere else
and mostly at the people who are not sending the kids to school um so i wanted to share that story
to yeah because i really think i learned a lot from it how our system works and where the child
protection services look closer and where they really close all the eyes um and another thing
that really yeah I learned how to step back from what I want to say and to do for children yeah for
not only my kids health and well-being but for another kids well-being as well and what I also
learned about from the stories really believe people when they say they must treat their kids
and because I didn't so I never took action and so what I think is that after you you hear the
story I'm gonna tell you I felt like I took action way too late but I didn't have the whole picture
and I always had the feeling of in general that this family is a very loving supporting family
that has here and there some problems which is okay because every family has the issues
but it didn't took it serious enough and to be honest the solution there's there's no
no solution still not so i'm gonna tell you this is about one kid that went to this free school
with my kid they became best friends i think early 2020 they became best friends and they still are
and yeah so I got to know his mom quite well over the years and she yeah I never had the feeling
that we were friends or anything because just because our kids are friends doesn't
mean that I need to be friends with his mom or anything and to be honest I never liked her
boyfriend that much because I really thought that he has some kind of crazy sexual vibe that I didn't
really want wanted to entertain and I think it's always a bit weird when you go over someone's place
to yeah so the kids can play and you sit there like oh my god this is uncomfortable
so what I really I really did was that we invited this kid over to our place all the time and my
kid never went there and there were a couple of kids who were never allowed to go there because
the parents were so weird um at the beginning I didn't really figure out what it was but over the
years even though I wasn't in close contact with them through what the kid told me and what I
learned from the few interactions I had with them was like really giving me a better picture of what
happened there um so this kid spent more time with us than with his actual family in the last years
um for me it was quite normal that as and yeah it was a bit difficult to deal with his mom
I always had the feeling like she's a narcissist and she needs to be in charge so I never was like
does your son want to come over to play it was it always needed to be her idea and she had a lot
of ideas she um her main focus was to entertain her boyfriend because he was entertaining her
lifestyle with money and it's not it wasn't a crazy lifestyle but if you don't want to work
money has to to flow anyway so somebody has to go to work you know what i mean so entertaining
this person who is working but not in a loving way it was more in a yeah
some people want to call it energy vampire way i would i would call it the same the same time it's
yeah a narcissist who is who wants to stay in church so what i really um experienced the last
couple of weeks because we took this boy on our journey from the Canary Islands to the south of
Spain to Portugal he never really told me I mean he told us a lot about what was going on at home
but I thought these were like short episodes and in between they have a really nice relationship
but what I learned while traveling and I think the distance made it way easier for him to tell
everything was that there is no loving episodes in between the disgusting episodes that really
fucked me up because I always was in yeah maybe I was in denial maybe I wasn't
informed enough about the circumstances I mean this kid has no health insurance no
he doesn't have his own room and
they live in a cave and I think in different circumstances
this could be so so beautiful you know what I mean like wow could be a happy life but if you
see the other side of of the story is the mom loves drugs
what's more important is the sexual satisfaction of her boyfriend
and really yeah she's not focusing on her kid her kid is a is not an asset it's a liability for her
and when she split up with her last boyfriend who was entertaining her lifestyle
and as I told you the last episode this free school was quite expensive
she didn't have the money to entertain that school anymore so she decided that
the kid needs to go to a regular school so she has time for herself which is i think in some
families i do really understand if you have a lot going on you need time for yourself and to
work and all these things but she you she uses she's using this time to sleep in
so the kid has to wake up at i think 5 30 makes himself breakfast and we're not talking about a
16 year old here we're talking about a 10 year old 11 12 year old boy then he's in charge of feeding
the dogs and the chickens the cats he's in charge of medical treatment of the animals
and then he would be picked up by bus but he had to go uphill for 30 minutes before even being near
the bus stop because these people really live in the nowhere of nowhere nowhere and the mom didn't
bother to drive him to school at all so he had to take the bus um going to school and he was bullied
in school because he was white he is white and a lot of things he didn't really feel comfortable
over there there was no support system for him and although he really explained this to his mom
she was always like in for no you have to go there i need to have the time at home so she got up when
he got back from school he was organizing everything and there was there it's not a home with
lovely cooked meals or bedtime stories or movie night or you know what i mean it's more like
she's doing her things she's treating herself and everyone else comes last
yeah so this is what i learned from just having this boy over for so many many many days
I would say yeah he became part of our family quite quite fast the I don't know after a couple
of months he asked me if he can call me mom and I was like dude I can't allow that because
just imagine your mom finds out then we are both in a very weird position although I feel
that you're part of our family I can be something like your aunt but your mom that is quite something
else so he was really longing for for a parent all the time and this broke my heart because
sometimes she would send him over with like 20 bucks to buy shoes in town I mean why do I have
to do this with with with her kid but I never complained and I'm absolutely not like that
normally I would tell this person to fuck off but I really really like that kid so I kept it shut
because I knew if I tell her to fuck off because I did it one time the kids weren't allowed to see
each other anymore so I kept quiet I went to town of course I paid for the shoes what are what kind
of shoes I gonna buy for 20 bucks but she knew about it and she always played like the victim
and you know for most or for all other friendships and families and parents
this was so true that there's a balance some days the kids come over to my house i buy food i do
adventures i'm the entertainer i'm the clown i'm the coacher and some other days my kid goes over
their house and stays over there and it's a support system you know and with this mom she never did
anything for my son it was never in any means balanced but I liked it like that because I would
never allow my child to go there and she was always like oh I would love to help you out and
I would love to support you and of course this was a lie because if she would like to support
me just give you a kid like 20 bucks a week if he's staying over four of seven days every week
and in the end I felt like I was I took over more responsibility for her child than she did
and sometimes if she didn feel like asking me for help if her son can stay over at my place because she wanted to entertain her boyfriend Sometimes this boy had to sleep over at random people place she met like random people she met like old dudes
people with drinking problems and one day he came over and he was like, I really don't want to do
this anymore, can you tell my mom to stop sending me over to these people and I was like, dude,
if I knew I would have told her the very first second but I really think the big problem is if
kids don't know other lifestyles they think it's normal and through spending so much time with us
he told me that he discovered this is not normal and he has the right to say what he wants and
doesn't want and to complain and to demand to be in safe places instead of being dragged around
as she prefers um so i really think her kid always came last with everything um one time he
discovered like self-made porn and he was so young he was like uh alex i saw something on
the tablet i mean he had he basically owns nothing this time he didn't even own a mobile phone which
is nice if it's a loving family you know but this was just he didn't have devices because they didn't
care about him enough and he was like i saw something going in and out of my mom's ass and
i was like oh my god what the fuck um and she's not a beauty queen so i was like dudes
why this is disturbing even i didn't see this disturbing my soul was crumbling so
these kind of things i think um it's a funny incident if the child is old enough to understand
and to to yeah digest it in this age um more harmful than anything else and if there if he
is not allowed to have any voice and if there's no support yeah it's i think it's really hard on
a kid to to guide through life to navigate himself through life because where to where is
where's the middle line you know I think it's quite hard so um it's yeah what I mentioned in
the beginning that you should believe if people tell you that they abuse their kids or mistreat
their kids I remember that sometimes she wanted to give me like advice on parenting because she
thought I'm not a really good mom because I do have a really close relationship with my boy and
we do a lot of nice things going on adventures camping and all these things and I do laugh a lot
with these kids and I do want to support their dreams and learn about their dreams and ideas
and all these things and she always thought that I spent too much time with the kids and I should
yeah look for a boyfriend and yeah I always thought like I can do this when I'm done with
parenting my child was way too young to yeah I thought that this wouldn't be the right
situation or our circumstances weren't like i wanted to invite someone else into our family
um i felt pretty complete at that point so i didn't feel the need to go out and hunt
and i really think it has something to do with stability and yeah how much you really need others
in your life and i i didn't have the feeling that i need a man to support my life so she always
thought that's yeah disgusting and yeah that I'm not doing well on parenting um she really
told me that she's beating up her child once in a while and that she's calling him names like
pretty aggressive names and I shrugged it off somehow I was like yeah I don't I don't really
believe it's that bad I maybe thought that she's exaggerating a lot because I mean I could see that
they have like a weird relationship the two of them but somehow I didn't believe it I believe
that yeah she had a couple of beers too much and she lashed out maybe I don't know a couple of times
in her life or something like that that's not something i wouldn't go to the authorities and
tell them because i know that the solutions over there are not really better you know so i was
always in a conflict of how much do i let her talk shit about me um my kid my parenting style
because it's a small island of course everyone is gonna tell you what she tells
it is just crazy and how much am I gonna believe what she tells me about her parenting style
and what do I believe what the kid tells me but the kid was very quiet for years
he didn't really tell me a lot so um I always thought that he is overly hungry when he's coming
over but of course if she's never cooking or she's only cooking for herself and her boyfriend
and the kid is not allowed to touch the fridge at all and there's no money to buy good food or food
in quantities that kids need yeah I do I can explain it now but back then I had to really
pick up the breadcrumbs to form the bread now I see the bread but back then it was like
yeah I didn't spend too much time with her so I didn't really understand I started to really
understand like one and a half years ago when I've been washing their finca for a week because
what I found really weird about that woman was that she never had any friends and she was always
hated by everyone who spent time with her more than a couple of days because she was always
inviting people to live on her land to help her maintain the land and stuff by the way it's not
even her land she lives there illegally and tries to inherit it because it's from her dad father
but without telling her brother to because he's she says he's already rich enough he doesn't need
to be involved so she's living there illegally and she's not very yeah she doesn't like to work
so she always invited people to live there to let them work and everyone always left so angry at her
and after a couple of years I met so and so many people with the same story like she's
abusive she's a narcissist she's abusing other people too she's beating her dogs she's beating
her own mom and these kind of things in the beginning you're like people talk a lot shit
about everyone so might be i don't know rage or anything yeah but after a couple of years
when it's always the same stories it's like okay this seems to be a pattern but it is what it is
yeah where did i stop i don't even remember yeah so um i think where i stopped was that
over the years more and more of the details came out and yeah she then had a new boyfriend and i
thought okay maybe now the situation is changing again maybe he's a support system for the child
because he seemed very friendly i met him only a couple of times mostly when they were tripping
on lsd and stepping by and i hated it so much like dude i'm here chilling living my life
with some random people coming over telling me about how they want to invite
monks to live in their cave and the crazy part is they had all these ideas about a nudist
camp nudist um yeah airbnb style and they never achieved any of this ideas it always get downhill
and more downhill with more downhill but never uphill so in the beginning when you meet people
and they're so ambitious like yeah let's build this we want to build that it's beautiful to see
and then you see like oh my god nothing ever happens over there so what the fuck
yeah so um one of the reasons i stayed so long on the kenrya islands was clearly the friendship
between those two kids because they were really really close more like yeah family than anything
else um yeah the weird thing was really when i um decided to to leave the island and i booked the
fairy i immediately immediately wasn't able anymore to be friendly to this woman i really
swallowed all my pride every time i met her and being friendly and providing her with some kind of
yeah it's not friendship but social stability to make her feel safe to make her feel like
yeah that we have some kind of connection so she would send over her kid to to our place and
so everything could go on because she always needed to feel in charge of me of my time
and it was never like yeah is it okay if he comes over friday at 12 is what it was more like yeah
Friday three o'clock he will be there and he needs to be back this and then and then and then
and it was always my job to pick up the kid and to bring him home and she never paid any cent for
food or gas or anything and this is okay because I knew about the circumstances but
in never ever in any other relationship in my life I would allow that that is just crazy but
I really felt like I'm as a human being responsible for yeah providing a safe space for this kid
and he was really also asking me for yeah can you pick me up please otherwise I have to go by bus
for two hours or I have to walk for two hours or she's dropping me off at this place and then I
have to walk and wait and it's a small island there are not so many not so many buses not so
much infrastructure and she didn't care about it basically yeah so he went I invited him as a
goodbye present so to say to go with us to Lanzarote for two weeks for some vacation because this
boy never went on vacation ever he went on like trips to germany in their camping van or in their
car and he said like it was always horrible because he his birthday is in summer and they
always went to germany in the summer and every birthday was a fuck up and the last birthday he spent in bed in the caravan and in the camping and needed to listen to sex noises
I cannot describe how disturbing this is. But anyway, it is what it is.
um yes so he came with us to Lanzarote and the distance really made him feel safe to tell me
about how she tried to kill him several times how she's tried to beat one of the dogs to death
how she's in general beating everything and everyone her ex-boyfriend her ex-boyfriend's
dog her ex-boyfriend split up with her because of all the beating he always tried to
be there for the kid and shield the kid and keep the kid safe and he did a really good job and then
I understood why he called him dad after just a couple of weeks that he knew him and he still does
he he says he's his dad because he protected him from his mom that is sad and that changed my
relationship with this dude because I always felt like he's over sexual and
that makes sense if you are over sexual and you meet a woman who is delivering
and the only thing she wants is money for like basic necessities like food and
clothes that's an easy trade I would say that is what it is and he really fell in
love with that little boy so they are still in contact and he's still and he
is a dad he has three kids so he suffered so much by not being able to change the family situation
for the better that he left and yeah so basically before we left to lanzarote um his mom was like
yeah can you please take the kid to spain and portugal as well and i was like of course i can
because we love him we would spend our lives with him and she was basically like begging me to take
him because her current her actual like at the moment boyfriend he spent a couple of months in
austria to work to come back with a yeah bag of money to support the family over the winter
and she said yeah he's coming home soon and she really wants to spend some some quality time with
with him and all these things so i'm like yeah that's the worst situation you you can imagine
for your kid like uh vacation time no school every day at home basically trapped in a yeah place far
away from everyone as where you need at least one and a half hours by foot to meet someone decent
in in a little village trapped there with your abusive mom and her abusive boyfriend so i was
like of course you can come with us no problem um back then I didn't know the dude was abusive as
well but I I figured that the mom really is not the best mom and it's better for him to spend there
to spend his vacation time with us traveling then with her at home and normally I would never think
that I'm I always think that kids belong to their parents and that it's weird if they really want to
spend weeks and weeks on end with other families like what the fuck but anyway so uh on Lanzarota
he really felt like he could tell us everything and it got deeper and deeper and weirder and
darker and I was like dude what am I gonna do now that I have all these information
it broke my heart and he was like can I stay with you and I was like dude I would adopt you
right now if I had the chance but it's not that easy unfortunately so he started to research and
to work with chat GPT and other AIs to really find out the laws and how to protect himself
what laws she's breaking and he collected all of these things and he found out that she could end
up in prison for 23 years which is hilarious and she could lose custody and how much yeah all these
details it was very interesting because I wasn't the driving force behind this because I was still
in shock I was like dude okay what are we gonna do with all this information how can we help you
I don't know let's find a lawyer and talk to him her whatever and he was already in action mode
every day researching about yeah different mental disorders that could apply to his mom and all
these things and it was quite deep because I remember one story where she invited someone
to her place to stay and work and this dude dropped off the kid at our place and I had the feeling
like I know him from somewhere and I know the car but I didn't really it didn't ring a bell so to
say it was just like a little tingling noise in the back of my head and I was like that is weird
um so my best friend came over and I told her and she was like dude isn't there a child molester
the police is searching for in this area and I was like oh yes it is him so I've been
looking through all my chats and searching for the picture of the van and the dude
and I was like this is him and I showed all the evidence to the mom and she was neglecting it she
was like yeah maybe it's not him and it was the same fucking car and the same day there was a
party at their yeah land and I needed to bring back the kid so I did I went down there with my
best friend to see the situation for myself to see the dude again to see the van again because it's
not an easy thing to tell this is a child molester he's uh the police wants him you're not doing this
like every day so I went down there and we checked out the van checked out the dude and it is it was
in so we showed all the evidence to her again and she was like yeah whatever she was too drunk to
whatever high on drugs and I maybe I'm an asshole because I never drink I'm I love plant medicine
but I think there's room for everything and there's a place for everything and so I was like
yeah you have such a great time over here you want it you want me to take the kid maybe you
want to like party somewhere blah blah and planted it in her head like it's her need to
have free time because i really had a bad feeling leaving this kid down there
in the middle of nowhere with the drunk people and this child molester
so she was like yeah i wanted to ask you anyways i was like oh thank god
and of course the kids didn't know the funny thing is the story came up in lazzarote
because the kid found out himself and he was asking me if it was true and I had to confirm it
and it broke his heart because this woman his mom made him spend time with this dude
a lot because he lived there for two or three weeks on their land and she left him alone with
this dude a lot of times and she basically knew that he was a child molester and the police was
looking for him and me and my best friend we went to the police to report
where this dude is the problem is the police didn't really get active they were
like yeah the owner of the land has to give us permission to to go there and to
check it out but the owner was dead first of all and the lady who's living
there yeah she this woman wasn't interested at all in letting the police
on her land um yeah so a very fucked up situation in the end the dude fled the island because the
knit was like the the net was yeah it was becoming tighter the situation wasn't uh comfortable
yeah i'm out here molesting kids situation anymore it was like oh my god the police is coming closer
situation but she never helped the police in any way to to get the dude although she knew about it
and she up to this day she's denying it and there are at least 10 people that can confirm that she
was two times she was told who this dude is she was sent all the evidence the police contacted her
to to go there and check it out she denied it and she let him spend time with her child so
i think this was the breaking point for the kid because he really had a breakdown
in the middle of we were drinking coffee i mean you know how this is sometimes things just need
to get out when they get out and we were in town in lanzarote in a very small village we love so
much they have great coffee you can sit in the sun and there's a cat we know for years we've been
visiting that place and she always comes to us and sits with us in the sun so we wanted to visit
that cat as well and as we were sitting there he was just like dude I have to ask you and I was
like okay let's do it let's go this down this rabbit hole and it was really um traumatized he
was crying so much and he was like I can never go back there she knew it all the time and
she let it happen and these kind of things and yeah then was the starting point for his research and
basically when we um yeah i think when we were in portugal then he was like confronting his mom
about that he's never gonna go back home that he is uh yeah moving to his father's place he
lives in germany and it wasn't easy for him he was crying a lot and he needed a lot of support
and we went to a lawyer here we went to the embassy there to next lawyer next embassy
social workers child protection service to the hospital to really gather evidence of what
happened and to have proof and to have support and yeah but she's she's a very
yeah she didn't want to lose her face i would want to say because on the telephone she always
told him I never want to see you back here such a disgusting disgrace and all
the things you can imagine people like this tell her their kids then if the
curtain is falling and in front of the authorities she yeah she played the
loving mother I don't know why he's doing this I always supported him and
everything yeah she told him she never wants to see him again and in front of
the authorities she's now fighting to get him back it's somehow delusional he had to go back to
la palma but he organized himself which is hilarious because she um yeah she reported me
to the police for a child for kidnapping basically she signed all the papers that he's that i'm
Legally taking him on vacations here and there and stuff so it never she never got through with it because I bought the tickets back to La Palma because I had to and the yeah how
do I say this so basically I organized the ticket back to La Palma for him
because this is a situation that has to be solved where he lives and not a
of Portugal unfortunately um and if I would have more support here I would maybe have tried to
yeah try to solve it from here but to solve it from Portugal it is it is quite difficult and I
have way too much on my plate to to have this big responsibility that puts me in much other danger
as well so she didn't really follow yeah she wasn't able to follow through with this kidnapping
story because I had all the papers signed by her and all the things pointed out and the kid doesn't
want to be there anymore so that was quite important that he decided to call the police in
La Palma that they would pick him up at the airport to bring him to child protection service
he's still there he's living there since a couple of weeks now probably for a couple of more months
and he's really fighting for his dad to get custody he was able to testify in court he went
to hospital there's proof of abuse and neglect and the bad part is that the mother is really
playing the lovely victim mom in front of the authorities and most of the social system workers
do believe her which is crazy in my eyes because there's evidence for abuse he has
he has um people to testify um he has so many witnesses and
which kid in his right right mind would prefer living in a
yeah child protection house i don't even know what's called in english the english term like
he's living in a yeah i don't know it's just crazy living in this uh yeah child protection
house it's really child protection because nobody is allowed to know the know the address and stuff
like that he's not allowed to go out by himself a lot of weird kids around them around him anyway
so this is an ongoing battle and yeah in the end what really cracked me up when I
wasn't able to play this yeah she always referred to me as her best friend in front of other people
to make her look good because yeah it's always good to have a person who who's liked by other
persons as your best friend but she always treated me like a piece of shit i think the
the moment i lost it completely for the very first time with her that i really put some boundaries
was when it was about to book the flight back home she I was like yeah you need to tell me
the date and the time because I have to work and I have to organize this and she was okay with
talking about the date but in the end she booked a flight for six o'clock that would have meant
getting up at two o'clock in the morning she didn't give a shit about her kid about me about
my child about my work schedule and she really tried to narcissistically blame it on me like gas
lightning cycle I think that's the first time I told her like she can stick up her fake friendship
up her ass and that she needs to stop playing the fucking victim when she's clearly abusing
everyone's time and energy and that this is now gonna come to an end as I will never see her again
that the this fake ass friendship needs to stop and all these blaming and gaming and all these things
so yeah in the end
um so in the end i figured out that i needed to go and talk to the social workers because my child
is not going to school for two years every couple of weeks i had to explain and to yeah
they were really lovely they're not bad people but you know still it's a liability and this woman
she got through with all the shit she's done and this is just the tip of the iceberg that I've been
telling you there's much more I could fill books with all the shit she has been doing to her son
and other people she never really got in trouble because her kid was going to school and even in
school he asked for help and nobody cared so this is how the system works I mean it's not
how it's working every time but the big majority like 95% I've seen in my life working as a
kindergarten manager and being close to so many fucked up families 95% is like nobody cares
whatever happens to the child if it's half dead okay but if not
suck it up and unless you don't go to school you're not gonna have a problem
what really uh fucked me up was the fact that nobody cares for that kid there is no international
help um unless you are super rich and can pay a good lawyer um you can go from one
embassy to the next embassy to the hospital to the police to the next police in the next country
to another police in another country you can run from a to b to to you know what i mean and nobody
cares really so this is a still ongoing battle from between the child and the mom and he refuses to
even meet her and he says the yes sad part is he feels so lonely now um although his living
conditions are way way better than at home he says but he feels so lonely because he
really learned what family is like through traveling for such a long time with us
and we miss him like hell i need to say we really bonded so well that i would really adopt him in a
second in a split second i would yeah go there today to pick him up to make him part of our
family and what i really learned is because i was adopted my stepdad adopted me and my step
grandma so to say became my real in the end mom and my grandpa my step-grandpa became a real dad
somehow so i basically was raised by my grandpa and grandma what i really think is that family is
is not yeah we find only by blood at all and that we as human beings have so much responsibility for
other human beings that we encounter in our life because my family really yeah they were so angry
with me for for investing my time and energy and money into solving this boy's problems and to help
him and over all these years i heard like oh you're feeding a strangest child and i was like
dude this is what we're supposed to do um and this is what you did when you when my mom came around
with with a with me and and you adopted me in your you included me in your family
and now in the end after all that drama took place they were like oh such a tragic story this poor boy
what if we would have acted way before and helped out way more and i'm like yeah
too late now it's time to be sorry but it's it's just too late now it is okay because i really
think god has his ways and they needed to maybe they needed to to yeah not help this time and to
see the parallel between helping me as when i came around with my abusive mom and now i'm helping him
with his abusive mom it's a parallel story and it's interesting how they didn't support him but
they supported me i didn't really understand but i think what i learned and what i will stand for
for the rest of my life is that we have to take on responsibility for other human beings if we
encounter people who need our help doesn't matter if it's a kid or whoever it is i think this is our
fucking responsibility and hilariously my family they have very very Christian
Christians aren't they all about loving everyone and loving your neighbors and your next door
and your the people next to you and helping and all these things so I think that was quite funny
that this time this didn't apply I mean I'm glad they helped me when I was a kid but I
yeah i would wish to see more help for kids and fucked up situations in this world and a better
support system an international support system and i wish i would know have known and still know
i wish i knew who to ask for help because i still don't know who how to really solve that problem
now this is out of my hands all I can do is pray and support him via telephone and that's it
yeah but as long as you send your kid to school you can beat him up in the evening
fucked up star so if you have a fucked up story and you want to share it
then reach out to me
I think this is important to share
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