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Everybody, welcome to

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host, Whitney Webb. So as many

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unless you follow me on Twitter

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newsletter, but I've been in the

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one and a half year old, since

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actually still in the hospital,

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right now. So I could get away

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Because obviously, I've had a

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plus months, you know, it's been

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after trying to entertain a

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for a long time, doing something

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kind of normal again, which is,

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in a sense. So I don't want to

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medical situation, and I've sort

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you know, before to an extent,

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at the end of the tunnel, a

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the timeline, but we're hoping

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next month. So long story short,

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changed me, you know, in a lot

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lot about how I approach and I

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of my life, including work, of

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much everything. Um, I've

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obviously. And, you know, that's

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about today. For the first, you

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several weeks, maybe of our stay

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really, really bad way. And he's

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Definitely not the kind he was

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you know, I spent a lot of time,

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looking at him, he was in an

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support, you know, so I was

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the circumstances that brought

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happen, you know, if he doesn't

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sorts of things, and I think,

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for any parent, in that

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obviously, for a lot of that

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emotional. I mean, it's hard not

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talking about it again, but, you

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time since I've had kids that I

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just sit and think about things

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what kind of mother I've been,

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and how I can be better for my

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get to go home, things are the

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know, I've heard from a lot of

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their children in the ICU or

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really just totally changes, you

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parent you, you want to be,

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emotional time, for lack of a

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know, even though my son still

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know, to heal from obviously, I

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heal from to, you know, not

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think, you know, if we're honest

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right, you know, it's, it's

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know, life is not necessarily

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you know, we distract ourselves

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kids, or, you know, all sorts of

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we, we forget about, you know,

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we're sort of forced by the

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know, look at them and stare

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a long time, and pretty much

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had any sort of platform, but

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avoided talking about personal

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including why I do the work that

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And I actually get asked this a

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did I become who I am? Why do I

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noticed, I try and give short

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answers. And, you know, an

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pretty recent. I I was asked

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Bitcoin magazine conference in

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he was Mark Goodwin, he was the

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was going to ask me that right

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was like, Oh, I actually don't

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that. So I'm going to try and

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because, you know, I, you know,

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don't like talking about it is

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interviews and public

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work and the research and not

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avoid, you know, the shoot the

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want to discredit something. But

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questions that are hard for me

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talking about my past, or where

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who I am, I don't really think

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actually a rather unpleasant

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this podcast, I won't be talking

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maybe more towards the ends. But

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focus on today is how a lot of

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are abusive can be very similar

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us right now. And how they're

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particular direction, to make us

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in some way, try and make us

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examining those parallels, it

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do it, and what we can do about

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introduce the person who's

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these issues. So of course, it's

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Ryan Christianna, the last

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favorite people and independent

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you doing today, Ryan?

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I'm good. Thanks for having

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say off the gate, that I think

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commendable, first of all, but

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hard moment in life and turn it

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something that's worth, you

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from is something that people

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there's always been these

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that, that you can truly,

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way. If you, you know, if you

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it, you know, as much as they're

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something that this is, you

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we're going to talk about today

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in regard to the government and

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So I think it's a good time for

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Well, I think, you know, on

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societal level, a lot of us have

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really like, you know, not to

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heal our world, you know, and

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isn't really messed up, because

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really messed up going on,

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trying to specifically target

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So, you know, definitely crazy

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I think part of the change that

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be internal change for for

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you can't change until you

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Right. Totally. So there's a

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this conversation. But I guess,

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talking a little bit about, you

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grew up in a household with a

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very, very sadistic narcissist,

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life, you know, I decided, as

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home, and 18, that I didn't want

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suffering from that. So I spent

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that out as much as I possibly

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know, you know, if you just bury

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it's something that destroys you

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know, you have anger and all

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away at you, and cause a lot of

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more I've reflected on that

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there's a lot of resources for

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if you look for it online and

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lot of parallels, you know, with

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whatever you want to call them.

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that narcissists abuse, or use

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and how the powers that be

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similarities. And I think part

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the day, what narcissists are

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keep their victims and of course

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this to everybody, they

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people to do this to, or, you

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one, you can't go anywhere, so

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essentially, what they aim to do

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toxic system, and train you to

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needs and neglect their own and

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know, we talked about a lot with

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about control for them at the

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trying to control have us in

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obsessive. And of course,

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continuously serve them and

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So, you know, maybe that's one

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that, you know, you, you and I

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about before recording that, I

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thing to look into here is the

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what I would call the false

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by that? So narcissists, tend to

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personality, in a sense, but you

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one side of that self, when it's

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narcissists will have a superior

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I call the false self, because

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they want people to see about

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inferior, devalued sell for, you

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for lack of a better term. And

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these and trying to manage the

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bubble up from that devalued

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for a lot of behaviors that

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you know, behavior that they

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in terms of the people that

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know, providing them with, you

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narcissistic supply or sort of

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feelings of power over people

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keep narcissists, more or less

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guess, for lack of a better

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rate comes from the Greek myth

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narcissist was a guy that fell

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lake or something like that, a

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waiting for the response of his

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for that response. But I think

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way it is with Narcissus is that

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for how they're reflected in the

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of times, at least in my

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obsession with how other people

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viewed a very specific way but a

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different than how they act

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at home or with the you know, in

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they're, you know, abusing

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It's so interesting, the

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love the overlap is so

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way that these what I've we've

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sociopathic borderlines

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that it's inherently insecure,

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contradictory. seems

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these people are insecure with

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inherently selfish, right?

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create this perception of

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people see them. And that's so

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the government acts with us

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know, making us feel lesser

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I think this is such an

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agree with you, I think that's

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today.

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Yeah, well, if you think

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well, here's an example not to

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Musk, right? Elon Musk has

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certain chunk of people to think

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obviously invested a lot of time

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But it's very insecure, right?

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example, there's a bunch of

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post like where their private

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accessible information, he

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that, about him. And there's

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Musk, and also have different

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insults them or something, and

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it, and have like many

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know, destroy the person that

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you know, there's a lot of a lot

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lot of money and trying to

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themselves, that if you look

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real, like Bill Gates, for

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project what a great

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guy he is, you know, when if you

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and his whole deal with

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do with altruism at all. Right

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certain version of themselves

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they're like masters at this

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sure.

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Do you think that it is both

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other people see them as better

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fact is that they're trying to

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like, in the sense of where the

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their thumb?

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Well, I think that's pretty

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what I think is a pretty easy to

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elite and the powers that be to

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know, scum, really. And that's

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eugenicist mindset comes from.

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Right supremacist? Yeah.

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idea, they feel like they're

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so good at planning whatever

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and who dies on the extreme end

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and then, you know, elsewhere on

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they get to choose who gets to

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to reproduce, you know, they

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make those decisions for other

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people don't know what's best

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looking at, you know, everyone

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think this is sort of a taught

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especially people that are part

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moneyed families. I think it's,

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upbringing.

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You could also point out

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mentioned, with Elon Musk, the

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feedback loop, we've talked

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social media works, that that

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fulfilling prophecy by

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system. And, you know, and just

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it's a feedback loop. You know,

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Oh, well, I was just gonna

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all about the false self. I

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finish the point. You were

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that.

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No, please. Yeah, this is

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really interesting. And the idea

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it.

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Right. So you know, if

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you know, like, we've talked

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to publicly project a specific

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that people view them a certain

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how people view them, but it's

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are. So the internet, I think,

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and narcissist to extreme

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people into narcissist who may

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narcissist otherwise,

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right? That's fascinating.

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that were already borderline

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00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:07,170
average children, teens that get

282
00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:09,690
makes me think of whether we

283
00:17:09,690 --> 00:17:11,970
craters or not, but very

284
00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:15,240
there that are very openly like

285
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,970
And yeah, that's, that's, that's

286
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:21,540
happening to a lot of unwitting

287
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:24,450
Yeah, well, I mean, you

288
00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:29,400
on like teams, and social media,

289
00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:33,480
And it makes them feel bad about

290
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:37,380
perhaps, most of those girls are

291
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:41,010
the most flattering, they spend

292
00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:43,770
picking one out of like, you

293
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:47,280
right, or, you know, adjusting

294
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,140
stuff. So they're trying to make

295
00:17:49,140 --> 00:17:51,840
possible, but they end up

296
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:56,670
projecting something that's not

297
00:17:56,670 --> 00:18:00,030
falseness out there and

298
00:18:00,030 --> 00:18:03,270
of, you know, fake interaction,

299
00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:07,680
feedback loops and creating

300
00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:12,210
To want to be in that is making

301
00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:15,090
basically creating this false

302
00:18:15,390 --> 00:18:19,230
right? And then privately, it's

303
00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:21,990
know, feeling like their real

304
00:18:21,990 --> 00:18:26,400
exactly what, you know, is the

305
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,920
know, obviously, narcissists

306
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,370
my point here is that, you know,

307
00:18:32,370 --> 00:18:37,650
is really making it extremely

308
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:41,190
know, society where social media

309
00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:41,790
at this point.

310
00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:45,030
Yeah. Well, what you kind of

311
00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:47,700
the overlap, like bringing it

312
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:51,030
that, you know, it wouldn't

313
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,890
like, let's just take the

314
00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:56,040
think we're all kind of aware

315
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,940
project originally, that was

316
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:02,940
into narcissists and or

317
00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:05,790
purpose, you were saying that it

318
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:08,310
where then one, they're easier

319
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:11,370
makes them feel way better about

320
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,330
Yeah, well, you know, you're

321
00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:18,690
feel awful about how they really

322
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:23,070
to the system. And they like

323
00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:26,310
unquote, approval, the likes

324
00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:30,420
people that are reacting to the

325
00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:33,750
mean, it's like every

326
00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:35,280
you were mentioned in the

327
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,640
the same kind of feedback cycle

328
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,740
you make someone feel like

329
00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:43,440
there, then you can you can

330
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,390
actions and that's what's

331
00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:48,510
Yeah, but I think there's a

332
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:51,870
levels here too. So like when

333
00:19:51,870 --> 00:19:57,570
narcissism like anything like

334
00:19:57,570 --> 00:19:59,670
disorder, not that autism is a

335
00:19:59,670 --> 00:20:02,850
know, there's this spectrum of

336
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,550
tends to fall on a spectrum. And

337
00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:08,820
too. So you'll have like people

338
00:20:08,850 --> 00:20:11,880
pathological narcissists, a lot

339
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,330
sociopathic, even sometimes they

340
00:20:15,330 --> 00:20:17,850
know. And that's why I think

341
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:21,540
positions of power to because

342
00:20:21,540 --> 00:20:24,960
psychopaths and sociopaths tend

343
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:29,400
corporate ladder, they tend to

344
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,730
of this stuff, too. And so, you

345
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:35,670
spectrum are easy to control in

346
00:20:35,670 --> 00:20:39,540
stuff that over inflates their,

347
00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:42,690
project out there, and the stuff

348
00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:46,140
times what those guys want is to

349
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,960
control, or they want everyone

350
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,610
in the entire world. Celebrity.

351
00:20:53,610 --> 00:20:57,300
control in, in that sense. And

352
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,910
on different parts of the

353
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:04,710
know, if you're creating, you

354
00:21:04,710 --> 00:21:07,380
teenagers that have had social

355
00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:10,920
small. And at the end, their

356
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,410
and they're using it right, and

357
00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:16,230
feedback loops. I think the way

358
00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:19,440
bit different than say, the

359
00:21:20,310 --> 00:21:23,340
of that narcissist spectrum that

360
00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:25,980
really rehabilitate, in a sense.

361
00:21:26,129 --> 00:21:28,469
Well, I the first parallel

362
00:21:28,469 --> 00:21:30,719
because this is where I've been

363
00:21:30,719 --> 00:21:33,149
can obviously overlap with this

364
00:21:33,179 --> 00:21:36,389
movement, and how these

365
00:21:36,689 --> 00:21:40,169
create that same dynamic where

366
00:21:40,169 --> 00:21:42,209
primarily young girls, today,

367
00:21:42,209 --> 00:21:44,969
percent, even though that was

368
00:21:45,329 --> 00:21:48,989
younger boys before that are all

369
00:21:48,989 --> 00:21:52,019
that they're not right, that

370
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:54,629
what they are currently is not

371
00:21:54,630 --> 00:21:58,020
was their goal. Yeah, no, I

372
00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:02,400
agree that they're authoring you

373
00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:04,800
look into this other self that

374
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:09,450
invest your time and energy and

375
00:22:09,450 --> 00:22:10,350
your problems.

376
00:22:10,590 --> 00:22:13,110
Right, right. And then the

377
00:22:13,110 --> 00:22:14,760
you know, first, obviously,

378
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:19,020
you are. But if you do this, and

379
00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:22,170
image that we think you should

380
00:22:22,170 --> 00:22:24,420
happiness. But then what we're

381
00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:26,850
just like the media platforms

382
00:22:26,850 --> 00:22:29,130
unhappy, and then Mote you know,

383
00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:31,740
that today. And then that, but

384
00:22:31,740 --> 00:22:34,620
another cycle. You know, and for

385
00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:37,290
something that's being done to

386
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,900
malfeasance, you know, like,

387
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:42,060
this is just one big, abusive

388
00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:45,570
Well, definitely, I think,

389
00:22:45,570 --> 00:22:49,140
power is by being, you know,

390
00:22:49,140 --> 00:22:52,050
abusive is, you know, there's a

391
00:22:52,050 --> 00:22:56,250
manifests, right? So there's

392
00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:01,290
the state creates chaos, right?

393
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,350
They'll create chaos, and then

394
00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:09,330
to stop this chaos, this crazy

395
00:23:09,330 --> 00:23:12,240
go away, whatever you want, you

396
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:15,570
know, the elites also do that,

397
00:23:16,410 --> 00:23:19,830
Exactly, well, ascension is is a

398
00:23:19,860 --> 00:23:24,540
bombing all sorts of, you know,

399
00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:28,590
state violence and other or

400
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:32,130
stop this if you give in to what

401
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,110
The parallel. I mean, it

402
00:23:37,110 --> 00:23:37,770
when you think about it.

403
00:23:39,030 --> 00:23:42,180
Yeah, but, you know, it's

404
00:23:42,180 --> 00:23:45,000
probably because I grew up in a

405
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,540
but like, as an adult, like, I

406
00:23:48,540 --> 00:23:52,170
recognize people doing this,

407
00:23:52,170 --> 00:23:57,690
self esteem my whole life, you

408
00:23:57,690 --> 00:24:00,840
really good at seeing how

409
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,530
the powers that be abuse us, but

410
00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:06,090
me way longer than it should

411
00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:09,000
Why do you think that is?

412
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,330
from someone like you that is

413
00:24:12,330 --> 00:24:15,120
the things that many others

414
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,970
you think it took you so long to

415
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:19,710
immediate relationship, um,

416
00:24:19,740 --> 00:24:22,950
because I think a lot of it

417
00:24:22,950 --> 00:24:28,170
was a kid, I was made to feel

418
00:24:28,170 --> 00:24:31,650
lot of narcissistic households,

419
00:24:31,650 --> 00:24:34,980
kids in certain positions and

420
00:24:34,980 --> 00:24:37,230
know, anywhere they talk about

421
00:24:37,230 --> 00:24:40,200
they'll have one kid that's the

422
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,600
the term for it, and the other

423
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:47,460
everything gets blamed on and so

424
00:24:47,460 --> 00:24:51,690
oldest kid and my daughter was

425
00:24:51,690 --> 00:24:55,860
the golden child. And it's not

426
00:24:55,860 --> 00:24:58,380
she didn't turn out to be a

427
00:24:58,380 --> 00:25:01,170
lot of, you know, trauma from

428
00:25:01,170 --> 00:25:05,610
different for me. So I was used

429
00:25:05,610 --> 00:25:10,470
including stuff I didn't do, and

430
00:25:10,470 --> 00:25:16,020
throughout my, you know, entire

431
00:25:16,020 --> 00:25:21,240
was just kind of used to being,

432
00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:25,170
you know, when it happened to

433
00:25:25,170 --> 00:25:28,110
just, you know, it felt

434
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,900
we got weird, I guess. But when

435
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:36,090
like that, you know, it's

436
00:25:36,090 --> 00:25:41,340
guilt trip me. I think that was,

437
00:25:41,340 --> 00:25:43,920
bad like that all the time as a

438
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,140
sort of wired in my brain

439
00:25:46,140 --> 00:25:47,820
people that don't have that

440
00:25:48,090 --> 00:25:50,520
Yeah, that makes sense. I

441
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,340
know, revere the parents, and

442
00:25:53,340 --> 00:25:56,280
government, you know, we're

443
00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:00,090
know, you take direction as a

444
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,840
for a child, especially to stand

445
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:07,500
being the norm, you know, yeah,

446
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:10,500
example, in like, a relationship

447
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:12,420
everyone's familiar with,

448
00:26:12,570 --> 00:26:15,840
it's called negging. Right. And

449
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,650
making somebody else feel

450
00:26:19,650 --> 00:26:22,020
disarm them to a degree to where

451
00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:25,170
them to the point of sexuality.

452
00:26:25,170 --> 00:26:28,110
about it. But ultimately, that's

453
00:26:28,110 --> 00:26:30,270
thing we're talking about,

454
00:26:30,420 --> 00:26:32,040
for family level, or from a

455
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:36,990
level. Yeah, good point. So

456
00:26:36,990 --> 00:26:40,230
kind of interesting is that, you

457
00:26:40,230 --> 00:26:44,220
powers that be the elite,

458
00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:47,070
when their actions show

459
00:26:47,070 --> 00:26:49,980
of interesting, too, because

460
00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:55,770
empathy, like normal people do.

461
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,490
but they know they notice that

462
00:26:59,490 --> 00:27:03,090
interpersonal relationships,

463
00:27:03,090 --> 00:27:05,910
they can convince someone, they

464
00:27:05,910 --> 00:27:09,150
can, you know, I guess add

465
00:27:09,180 --> 00:27:11,490
manipulation tool belt, you

466
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,550
how what do you know that

467
00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:17,010
what the overlap is with

468
00:27:17,010 --> 00:27:20,610
sociopathy because that's very

469
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,670
Well, I think there is a lot

470
00:27:23,670 --> 00:27:26,610
you're not really caring about

471
00:27:26,610 --> 00:27:29,910
the way, you know, narcissists

472
00:27:29,910 --> 00:27:33,330
what can I get out of this

473
00:27:33,330 --> 00:27:36,180
for me? How can I get this

474
00:27:36,180 --> 00:27:40,320
need them to do? Not like, I

475
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,580
friendship or romantic or, you

476
00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:45,390
with this person?

477
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,930
it the more I think about

478
00:27:48,930 --> 00:27:52,860
a pin in it, it's that a

479
00:27:52,890 --> 00:27:55,980
they still it's ultimately to

480
00:27:55,980 --> 00:27:58,890
about who they are, or you know,

481
00:27:58,890 --> 00:28:02,400
sociopath, maybe he doesn't care

482
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,370
to fit in with people that, you

483
00:28:05,370 --> 00:28:06,690
but that seems like that makes

484
00:28:07,650 --> 00:28:10,350
Yeah, I mean, maybe that's

485
00:28:10,350 --> 00:28:17,070
there's a lot of I don't know, I

486
00:28:17,070 --> 00:28:20,220
ways of looking at these people.

487
00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:23,190
necessarily going to be the

488
00:28:23,190 --> 00:28:26,280
narcissists do have sociopathic

489
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,890
make the most sense, because

490
00:28:28,890 --> 00:28:33,180
from a utilitarian perspective,

491
00:28:33,630 --> 00:28:37,140
relationships that way, you

492
00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:43,200
person? And how can I use them?

493
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,560
back to this point of, of

494
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:50,160
trying to use someone, and they

495
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,500
person's feelings that can go

496
00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:55,290
about, you know, even back a

497
00:28:55,290 --> 00:28:57,630
doesn't work anymore. But like,

498
00:28:57,660 --> 00:29:00,570
mainstream media, and all of

499
00:29:00,570 --> 00:29:04,290
figures, politicians, right,

500
00:29:04,290 --> 00:29:08,670
bad about something. Or they'll

501
00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:12,630
this happened to, you know, this

502
00:29:12,630 --> 00:29:15,600
shouldn't feel bad for them or

503
00:29:15,630 --> 00:29:20,820
like the earliest example of

504
00:29:20,820 --> 00:29:24,990
know, manipulations, I guess the

505
00:29:24,990 --> 00:29:28,680
Rockefeller, the country's first

506
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,890
garbage shaman and the way they

507
00:29:31,890 --> 00:29:36,210
around was by you know, showing

508
00:29:36,210 --> 00:29:40,560
to like little pennies and coins

509
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:41,460
nice I'm being

510
00:29:41,850 --> 00:29:44,460
and stuff. I remember that

511
00:29:44,460 --> 00:29:46,620
the big the silver dime, right

512
00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:48,810
shoulder come up and he hands

513
00:29:48,810 --> 00:29:52,140
that's, it's that. Yeah. That

514
00:29:52,140 --> 00:29:54,540
campaign. Right. That wasn't

515
00:29:54,570 --> 00:29:56,940
And I think that's really

516
00:29:56,940 --> 00:30:00,000
narcissists, too is that they

517
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,660
really empathetic, like I care

518
00:30:03,660 --> 00:30:06,450
the powers that be want us to

519
00:30:06,450 --> 00:30:10,980
did touch on that a little bit

520
00:30:10,980 --> 00:30:14,580
definitely a commonality between

521
00:30:14,580 --> 00:30:15,840
least tactic wise.

522
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:18,690
I think it's a really

523
00:30:18,690 --> 00:30:21,510
kind of why I was asking about

524
00:30:21,870 --> 00:30:25,500
empathy is, I mean, something

525
00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:29,760
aware of they clearly feel they,

526
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,470
hard to say, because they're

527
00:30:31,470 --> 00:30:32,670
themselves. But ultimately,

528
00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:36,630
I think they know, when

529
00:30:36,630 --> 00:30:41,190
that they work to that. Yeah. To

530
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:41,580
yeah.

531
00:30:41,610 --> 00:30:44,280
To fit in, essentially,

532
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,290
a really important point to

533
00:30:46,290 --> 00:30:49,620
projecting empathy is, is, you

534
00:30:49,620 --> 00:30:52,080
can see that exactly the same

535
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,620
doing so in many ways that tries

536
00:30:55,620 --> 00:30:58,950
feel guilty, maybe not about,

537
00:30:58,950 --> 00:31:02,220
policy where, you know, showing

538
00:31:02,250 --> 00:31:05,190
you know, in a bombing, like,

539
00:31:05,190 --> 00:31:07,830
example, you know, somewhere,

540
00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:10,950
like you didn't do enough. And

541
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:11,460
you know?

542
00:31:12,449 --> 00:31:16,709
Yeah, I'm sure it'll do that

543
00:31:16,709 --> 00:31:20,909
this sad situation, we should

544
00:31:20,909 --> 00:31:24,719
Ukraine, right? Why didn't you

545
00:31:24,719 --> 00:31:27,539
to John Bolton who said, don't

546
00:31:27,539 --> 00:31:33,059
everything up. When it's amazing

547
00:31:33,059 --> 00:31:35,549
know I'm blowing. Yeah,

548
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,950
I always point out that the

549
00:31:37,950 --> 00:31:40,410
the other side of the world, you

550
00:31:40,410 --> 00:31:43,170
watching people who they know

551
00:31:43,170 --> 00:31:47,070
up and act like they care or

552
00:31:47,070 --> 00:31:48,960
know, and that's a different

553
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:52,560
is very hard to like that causes

554
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:53,010
about that.

555
00:31:54,060 --> 00:31:56,880
Yeah, well, another good

556
00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:00,450
fundraising campaign for that

557
00:32:00,450 --> 00:32:03,330
how all that money that was

558
00:32:03,330 --> 00:32:05,850
the Clintons, they built six

559
00:32:05,850 --> 00:32:09,000
don't know where the money went,

560
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:13,500
was feigning empathy for the

561
00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:18,510
it, right. Feigning empathy for

562
00:32:18,510 --> 00:32:21,600
the people that were donating

563
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,090
then taking the money and

564
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,480
And then even another aspect

565
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,610
they take that and do terrible

566
00:32:29,610 --> 00:32:30,000
happened?

567
00:32:30,060 --> 00:32:33,390
Totally. Yeah. Yeah. So

568
00:32:33,510 --> 00:32:36,270
it's happening. Now we right

569
00:32:36,270 --> 00:32:36,420
yeah.

570
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,750
When it's upright, well, it

571
00:32:39,750 --> 00:32:42,720
that was involved with that in

572
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,270
they do the same for the funds,

573
00:32:45,300 --> 00:32:48,270
collecting for Maui right now.

574
00:32:48,270 --> 00:32:50,550
the big voices, you need to

575
00:32:50,550 --> 00:32:53,040
Haiti. And now he's the one

576
00:32:53,040 --> 00:33:00,720
for Maui. So he's obviously not

577
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:04,530
false self, to the public, for

578
00:33:04,530 --> 00:33:08,340
politicians do and but again, I

579
00:33:08,340 --> 00:33:13,590
levels they have complete, like

580
00:33:13,590 --> 00:33:17,400
that false self for them or as

581
00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:21,720
Yeah. Well, I would say

582
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,300
I mean, it goes both ways that

583
00:33:24,300 --> 00:33:27,510
entire lives like that. I've

584
00:33:27,510 --> 00:33:31,860
sociopaths are better, they will

585
00:33:31,860 --> 00:33:34,350
and people that actually have

586
00:33:34,350 --> 00:33:37,740
just are their entire lives are

587
00:33:37,740 --> 00:33:38,880
people are wanting to see.

588
00:33:39,150 --> 00:33:44,640
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

589
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:48,060
is, the less likely people are

590
00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:50,190
be like, actually, that's not a

591
00:33:50,460 --> 00:33:53,580
Yeah. Right. I mean, Obama

592
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,880
even now, like you what you

593
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,630
know this person, he very, very

594
00:34:00,630 --> 00:34:03,630
cares. Someone who is there for

595
00:34:03,630 --> 00:34:07,170
know that's not true. I mean, at

596
00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:09,990
are case a case study for that

597
00:34:09,990 --> 00:34:13,560
question then becomes, do you

598
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,780
let's just move Obama aside, do

599
00:34:15,780 --> 00:34:18,900
people that are maybe not fully

600
00:34:18,900 --> 00:34:21,990
in that way, that are that are

601
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,750
budding new narcissist in

602
00:34:25,139 --> 00:34:29,549
Well, I'm sure there's like

603
00:34:29,549 --> 00:34:32,699
ladder in politics, and you're

604
00:34:32,699 --> 00:34:35,459
by example, and they're like

605
00:34:35,459 --> 00:34:38,909
behavior I have to engage in to

606
00:34:38,909 --> 00:34:43,439
once you get to the higher up

607
00:34:43,439 --> 00:34:45,989
really any really corrupt

608
00:34:45,989 --> 00:34:49,559
to the levels where you realize

609
00:34:50,249 --> 00:34:52,949
corrupt everything is and how

610
00:34:52,979 --> 00:34:56,399
there's a lot of theft going on

611
00:34:56,399 --> 00:34:59,939
obviously, you know, you only

612
00:35:00,149 --> 00:35:03,119
Uh, down to participate in it.

613
00:35:03,180 --> 00:35:06,510
Right and compromisable

614
00:35:06,630 --> 00:35:06,930
Yeah,

615
00:35:06,959 --> 00:35:11,339
sure. And so, you know, you

616
00:35:11,339 --> 00:35:17,189
operate in that type of

617
00:35:17,639 --> 00:35:20,669
to be like the people that were

618
00:35:20,669 --> 00:35:24,029
before. And I'm sure a lot of

619
00:35:24,029 --> 00:35:26,759
in their political careers or,

620
00:35:26,759 --> 00:35:28,709
field is for those qualities.

621
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,570
Yeah, I agree completely.

622
00:35:33,570 --> 00:35:37,080
self, which is a real that's

623
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,120
conversation. We were talking

624
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,540
The idea of how that applies to

625
00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:46,680
be going in? How do you think

626
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,440
regard to how they're just

627
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:50,220
these platforms?

628
00:35:51,450 --> 00:35:56,610
So with social media, I hate

629
00:35:56,610 --> 00:36:01,140
try and get us to identify more

630
00:36:01,140 --> 00:36:04,260
this point is really, you know,

631
00:36:04,260 --> 00:36:07,590
really, the internet is the

632
00:36:07,590 --> 00:36:13,440
us to identify more with that

633
00:36:14,190 --> 00:36:16,950
At the end of the day, that

634
00:36:17,250 --> 00:36:19,680
Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean,

635
00:36:19,710 --> 00:36:23,730
a project like the metaverse and

636
00:36:23,730 --> 00:36:26,280
that, and it's really obvious.

637
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,070
before how a lot of what's going

638
00:36:29,070 --> 00:36:32,850
lead us there. But a lot of

639
00:36:32,850 --> 00:36:35,190
metaverse like they tried to

640
00:36:35,190 --> 00:36:37,800
COVID. And it was a flop. And a

641
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,190
COVID with the lock downs was to

642
00:36:41,190 --> 00:36:43,770
digital world all the time,

643
00:36:43,770 --> 00:36:46,200
and we could only connect with

644
00:36:46,230 --> 00:36:49,920
Right. So I think it was a big

645
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:54,540
expected it that change to

646
00:36:54,540 --> 00:36:58,110
than it actually did. Because

647
00:36:58,110 --> 00:37:03,150
and so you have to continue and

648
00:37:03,450 --> 00:37:07,350
Pepe, how intense that

649
00:37:07,350 --> 00:37:10,470
false self whatever becomes

650
00:37:10,470 --> 00:37:15,360
be in the metaverse or have

651
00:37:15,390 --> 00:37:20,070
at the same time make people so

652
00:37:20,070 --> 00:37:23,280
or in their, you know, in

653
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:26,640
happen. And when we talked about

654
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:32,100
guess it was last year. Or maybe

655
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,630
Yeah. It's hard to say no, I

656
00:37:34,530 --> 00:37:37,110
Well, I've been in a

657
00:37:37,110 --> 00:37:42,660
like no concept of time anymore.

658
00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:45,420
about how there was like a I

659
00:37:45,420 --> 00:37:48,420
writing in some MSM thing about

660
00:37:48,420 --> 00:37:53,250
basically saying, by the time

661
00:37:53,250 --> 00:37:56,820
you'll prefer the metaverse and

662
00:37:56,820 --> 00:38:03,150
part out loud, very gross. Yeah.

663
00:38:03,150 --> 00:38:06,150
it started with social media,

664
00:38:06,150 --> 00:38:08,580
already talked about, like

665
00:38:08,580 --> 00:38:14,130
esteem, because they're trying

666
00:38:14,130 --> 00:38:17,250
publicly look the best they

667
00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:20,190
eventually, there's this gap

668
00:38:20,190 --> 00:38:22,140
putting all these filters on

669
00:38:22,140 --> 00:38:23,970
stuff. But that's not how they

670
00:38:23,970 --> 00:38:25,740
the mirror. What you're

671
00:38:25,740 --> 00:38:28,320
seeing in the gap is makes

672
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,290
rather a unreachable goal,

673
00:38:31,290 --> 00:38:32,550
happy with who they actually

674
00:38:32,610 --> 00:38:35,850
Yeah, and they'll never be

675
00:38:35,850 --> 00:38:38,550
like in teens and kids, and

676
00:38:38,550 --> 00:38:40,650
years. And they're going to be

677
00:38:40,650 --> 00:38:43,320
of hard to undo. And so it plays

678
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,650
talking about or that you

679
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,320
you know, seeking out kids right

680
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:53,610
Metaverse stuff and the

681
00:38:53,610 --> 00:38:56,280
that is also appealing to those

682
00:38:56,280 --> 00:39:00,750
essentially the same. It's this

683
00:39:00,750 --> 00:39:04,560
trying to get you to be like,

684
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:09,870
self is that online self is that

685
00:39:09,870 --> 00:39:10,350
think

686
00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:13,560
both are just gonna ask you,

687
00:39:13,710 --> 00:39:16,170
will finish your thought, but

688
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:19,740
the reasoning is to drive people

689
00:39:19,740 --> 00:39:23,460
narcissistic side is clear for

690
00:39:23,460 --> 00:39:26,160
us feel lesser than but what's

691
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,100
bigger implications of the big

692
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:31,200
all that but yeah, is that one?

693
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:35,490
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

694
00:39:35,490 --> 00:39:38,730
feel like they need that digital

695
00:39:38,730 --> 00:39:42,390
more addicted to it they are,

696
00:39:42,390 --> 00:39:47,070
won't give up their access to

697
00:39:47,070 --> 00:39:49,710
their internet access. They'll

698
00:39:49,710 --> 00:39:52,860
smartphone or their connection

699
00:39:52,860 --> 00:39:54,900
anything to keep it anything at

700
00:39:55,230 --> 00:39:57,930
Yeah, I mean that if you if

701
00:39:57,930 --> 00:40:00,270
that's easy just to drive people

702
00:40:00,270 --> 00:40:02,220
desperate to maintain what

703
00:40:02,220 --> 00:40:06,270
Metaverse and then then insert

704
00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:06,540
Yeah,

705
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,390
you know exactly. Yeah,

706
00:40:09,390 --> 00:40:12,180
coming before the metaverse, you

707
00:40:12,180 --> 00:40:14,730
what I just talked about to

708
00:40:14,730 --> 00:40:17,640
Twitter right now. Twitter has

709
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,670
soon. If you're not a blue

710
00:40:20,670 --> 00:40:21,060
Twitter.

711
00:40:21,420 --> 00:40:25,080
Yeah, you know, oh, sorry.

712
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,840
talk about it later. Probably. I

713
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,640
already starting to roll out

714
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:33,300
predicted is that the the next

715
00:40:33,300 --> 00:40:35,970
they get you, you know, because

716
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,640
the next most people that

717
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,010
the benefits are they're getting

718
00:40:41,010 --> 00:40:43,980
know, an iris scan or who knows

719
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:48,090
Yeah, well, as you

720
00:40:48,090 --> 00:40:52,650
already starting to move right

721
00:40:52,650 --> 00:41:00,240
Twitter. I'm not going to call

722
00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:04,830
cuz I mean, x was Elon Musk's,

723
00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:08,040
90s. So it's always his

724
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:12,270
about this with new Twitter is

725
00:41:12,510 --> 00:41:19,320
of the financial system, if not

726
00:41:19,350 --> 00:41:22,140
there's people that are

727
00:41:22,140 --> 00:41:24,750
media, they're on it constantly.

728
00:41:24,750 --> 00:41:27,300
constantly. It's not everyone

729
00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:31,890
But there is a group there that

730
00:41:31,890 --> 00:41:36,690
the internet. And they can't

731
00:41:36,690 --> 00:41:39,330
I have talked about in the past

732
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:42,330
the books a long time, even

733
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:50,730
new Twitter is to force people

734
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,870
to some form of government

735
00:41:54,870 --> 00:41:59,070
in the US, obviously didn't get

736
00:41:59,070 --> 00:42:01,320
for it. And they called it the

737
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:06,510
internet. So a government issued

738
00:42:06,510 --> 00:42:10,560
your internet service provider.

739
00:42:10,710 --> 00:42:14,100
you know them knowing everything

740
00:42:14,100 --> 00:42:17,130
know, access through the gateway

741
00:42:17,130 --> 00:42:20,430
everything you do online is

742
00:42:20,430 --> 00:42:23,760
they're gonna know exactly who

743
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,670
ambition then. And that's what's

744
00:42:26,670 --> 00:42:28,980
my work that I you know, I

745
00:42:28,980 --> 00:42:31,710
stuff like the the web

746
00:42:32,100 --> 00:42:36,060
which is like the FBI, the

747
00:42:36,060 --> 00:42:38,700
intelligence, Israeli

748
00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:43,830
banks. You know, it's within the

749
00:42:43,830 --> 00:42:48,810
entities are there. They're very

750
00:42:48,810 --> 00:42:51,870
ambition for how to end quote,

751
00:42:51,870 --> 00:42:55,530
internet. Everyone's got to have

752
00:42:55,530 --> 00:42:59,880
been a push to in mosque is one

753
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:05,340
Twitter, authenticate all real

754
00:43:05,340 --> 00:43:08,700
said in the tweet, yeah. But

755
00:43:08,700 --> 00:43:12,060
elsewhere, especially among

756
00:43:12,060 --> 00:43:16,020
Australia campaigning against

757
00:43:16,020 --> 00:43:19,620
allowed to be an anonymous

758
00:43:19,620 --> 00:43:24,270
right? And so now what you have

759
00:43:24,270 --> 00:43:28,890
effort to and it's not just

760
00:43:29,130 --> 00:43:32,580
to new Twitter, the way they're

761
00:43:32,580 --> 00:43:38,370
take a selfie and upload your

762
00:43:38,370 --> 00:43:43,980
selfie extracts it says it in

763
00:43:43,980 --> 00:43:46,290
and that's the run through an

764
00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:49,920
This is a small side note

765
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:54,450
company of Amdocs by the

766
00:43:54,450 --> 00:43:58,770
be fun to point out that some

767
00:43:58,770 --> 00:44:01,530
everyone's favorite Israeli

768
00:44:01,530 --> 00:44:03,330
like the early 2000s

769
00:44:03,930 --> 00:44:05,670
Or any number of other

770
00:44:05,670 --> 00:44:08,490
overlapped Israeli intelligence

771
00:44:08,490 --> 00:44:11,310
the United States. But But do

772
00:44:11,310 --> 00:44:13,290
selfie, I mean, it says

773
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,300
there's plenty of things that

774
00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:17,310
taking iris scans? Do you think

775
00:44:17,310 --> 00:44:17,670
they're doing?

776
00:44:18,810 --> 00:44:21,600
Well, I think if it's your

777
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:23,670
going to be an iris scan because

778
00:44:23,670 --> 00:44:26,370
specific type of camera. This is

779
00:44:26,370 --> 00:44:31,230
with your I guess your computer

780
00:44:31,230 --> 00:44:33,990
something. So probably not. I

781
00:44:33,990 --> 00:44:37,530
its mission, its facial

782
00:44:37,530 --> 00:44:39,870
face, right? Yeah,

783
00:44:39,900 --> 00:44:42,930
just as just as alarming.

784
00:44:42,930 --> 00:44:44,640
coming. And then you know, kind

785
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,820
point is that then people are

786
00:44:47,820 --> 00:44:50,460
have to like these kids are

787
00:44:50,460 --> 00:44:52,470
they're going to they're going

788
00:44:52,470 --> 00:44:55,530
whether they realize it's bad or

789
00:44:55,530 --> 00:44:57,810
cycle, you know, into the next

790
00:44:58,799 --> 00:45:02,309
Totally. I'll give you an

791
00:45:02,309 --> 00:45:04,799
relationship with someone that's

792
00:45:04,799 --> 00:45:09,149
stuff, digital ide cbdc, and all

793
00:45:09,539 --> 00:45:13,109
before bed, he was like, you

794
00:45:13,139 --> 00:45:18,329
realistically be able to resist

795
00:45:18,359 --> 00:45:23,099
defensive, I was like, Yeah, of

796
00:45:23,099 --> 00:45:27,149
I'm trying to do. And like, my

797
00:45:27,149 --> 00:45:31,349
resisting that system. And then

798
00:45:31,349 --> 00:45:33,569
kept countering with all this

799
00:45:33,569 --> 00:45:36,899
won't be able to live a normal

800
00:45:36,899 --> 00:45:39,749
able to buy stuff that we need,

801
00:45:39,749 --> 00:45:43,889
just like, whoa, you know, kind

802
00:45:43,889 --> 00:45:48,179
people, you know, like, that are

803
00:45:48,179 --> 00:45:52,799
category, like the convenience,

804
00:45:52,829 --> 00:45:56,909
again, this false self, that

805
00:45:56,909 --> 00:45:59,849
the way they want people to view

806
00:45:59,849 --> 00:46:05,309
the day, they like, what they

807
00:46:05,759 --> 00:46:09,269
like, even if even people that

808
00:46:09,359 --> 00:46:12,779
Yeah, I'll take it because it

809
00:46:12,779 --> 00:46:16,079
that stuff, right? I don't want

810
00:46:16,079 --> 00:46:16,199
them

811
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,570
more power over their

812
00:46:18,570 --> 00:46:19,260
people see them.

813
00:46:20,610 --> 00:46:23,910
Well, not just that, right.

814
00:46:23,910 --> 00:46:28,590
like, narcissists, in general,

815
00:46:28,590 --> 00:46:31,440
their lives to basically cater

816
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,680
actually impossible. It's like,

817
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:38,670
constantly trying to fill with

818
00:46:38,670 --> 00:46:40,980
of situations, because the

819
00:46:40,980 --> 00:46:43,590
never enough, because you're

820
00:46:43,590 --> 00:46:46,650
that's a, you know, a thing that

821
00:46:46,650 --> 00:46:52,620
themselves, you can't possibly

822
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,830
they, they are trying to get

823
00:46:55,830 --> 00:46:59,280
they don't really want to do it

824
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:03,270
like they like that convenience

825
00:47:03,270 --> 00:47:06,510
I'm talking about to refuse to

826
00:47:06,510 --> 00:47:09,510
her face, but was also very

827
00:47:09,510 --> 00:47:11,760
recognition by police, even

828
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,910
companies pass that facial

829
00:47:14,910 --> 00:47:18,540
to police. But it's more

830
00:47:19,410 --> 00:47:21,990
It's just It's hypocrisy,

831
00:47:22,020 --> 00:47:24,600
right, these are your your your

832
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:28,020
self, all all to your benefit at

833
00:47:28,020 --> 00:47:30,750
essentially, is that what seems

834
00:47:30,750 --> 00:47:34,350
do you how do you actually have

835
00:47:34,350 --> 00:47:36,630
when you're like that? Not to

836
00:47:36,630 --> 00:47:38,580
wanna keep going, I just popped

837
00:47:38,580 --> 00:47:41,160
impossible. You know? Well,

838
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:44,460
Because you can't basically

839
00:47:44,460 --> 00:47:47,790
relationship, whether they're

840
00:47:47,790 --> 00:47:51,090
your boyfriend or girlfriend, is

841
00:47:51,930 --> 00:47:56,070
they're manipulating you to try

842
00:47:56,070 --> 00:47:58,980
keep them stable, but they're

843
00:47:58,980 --> 00:48:02,310
stable. So no matter what you

844
00:48:02,310 --> 00:48:06,150
through, and you know, they'll

845
00:48:06,150 --> 00:48:08,730
fault all the time. No matter

846
00:48:08,730 --> 00:48:11,880
yourself, it will never fix the

847
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,330
depending on how long you're

848
00:48:15,330 --> 00:48:18,720
everyone, eventually, you end up

849
00:48:18,720 --> 00:48:21,450
have nothing left because you're

850
00:48:21,450 --> 00:48:26,190
been literally giving everything

851
00:48:26,190 --> 00:48:28,620
end of the day, I mean, what

852
00:48:28,620 --> 00:48:31,320
matter what they're asking of

853
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:34,290
whatever, you're giving energy

854
00:48:34,290 --> 00:48:37,560
left without anything. I mean,

855
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,560
and that you have nothing and

856
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:44,340
the same time you're being

857
00:48:44,340 --> 00:48:46,290
being good enough by this

858
00:48:46,470 --> 00:48:49,170
They're Emotional Vampires,

859
00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:50,580
well, go ahead.

860
00:48:51,390 --> 00:48:53,160
No, no go you go. I'm just

861
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,170
add to the gaslighting is

862
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,690
gaslighting, and that's another

863
00:48:57,690 --> 00:49:00,360
with everyday with power

864
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,760
constantly telling you, you

865
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:04,830
it's just different levels of

866
00:49:04,830 --> 00:49:05,940
is very clear and all that.

867
00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:09,480
Yeah, so gaslighting is

868
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:13,350
about where the term comes from,

869
00:49:13,350 --> 00:49:16,590
it's from the 50s. And it's

870
00:49:16,590 --> 00:49:19,980
malicious intent, wants to

871
00:49:19,980 --> 00:49:23,190
mentally ill. And basically, he

872
00:49:23,190 --> 00:49:26,130
house, which is where the term

873
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:31,020
And he and he slowly he slowly

874
00:49:31,020 --> 00:49:34,200
that they've been dumbed, he

875
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,080
dammed and that there must be

876
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:40,080
over time, is gradually

877
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:46,860
insane, and making her doubt her

878
00:49:46,860 --> 00:49:49,620
reality and the goal of

879
00:49:49,620 --> 00:49:53,310
gaslighting is always done with

880
00:49:53,310 --> 00:49:56,940
gaslighting is to have it so

881
00:49:56,940 --> 00:50:01,560
comfortable defining your own

882
00:50:01,770 --> 00:50:05,700
on someone else to define your

883
00:50:05,700 --> 00:50:09,060
obviously did this to you a

884
00:50:09,060 --> 00:50:11,940
but they did this to you with

885
00:50:11,940 --> 00:50:15,300
can define your reality to suit

886
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:19,290
Yeah, like no no concern in

887
00:50:19,290 --> 00:50:21,480
the other person feel. I mean,

888
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,820
never heard that before. That's

889
00:50:23,820 --> 00:50:25,620
exactly what we're talking

890
00:50:25,620 --> 00:50:29,160
narcissism, it's taxes. Clearly,

891
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:30,840
like a very prominent part of

892
00:50:31,290 --> 00:50:34,530
It I think it is a prominent

893
00:50:34,530 --> 00:50:38,130
a key way in which you try and

894
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:43,770
they can't, to make them

895
00:50:43,830 --> 00:50:50,250
obviously. And just eventually,

896
00:50:50,250 --> 00:50:52,410
don't feel like they can

897
00:50:52,410 --> 00:50:55,080
they're dependent on the person

898
00:50:55,110 --> 00:50:58,140
oftentimes will feign empathy,

899
00:50:58,140 --> 00:51:02,370
having all these mental

900
00:51:02,370 --> 00:51:04,350
make you think that like,

901
00:51:04,350 --> 00:51:07,530
help you, you know, making you

902
00:51:07,530 --> 00:51:11,370
them. And at the same time, that

903
00:51:11,370 --> 00:51:13,860
or you know, also in the

904
00:51:13,860 --> 00:51:18,810
right, are trying to get you to

905
00:51:18,810 --> 00:51:22,200
to control you so that you

906
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:23,130
giving to them.

907
00:51:23,310 --> 00:51:26,700
Right and back and

908
00:51:26,700 --> 00:51:28,950
time that you are the problem

909
00:51:29,010 --> 00:51:31,320
Yeah. The parallel to the

910
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,230
incredible with that. I mean,

911
00:51:34,230 --> 00:51:36,390
operating out of the handbook.

912
00:51:37,140 --> 00:51:40,200
Well, I again, I think a lot

913
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:43,170
mean, to do what they're doing

914
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,620
narcissist, right? And

915
00:51:46,710 --> 00:51:48,840
So I guess, my guess my

916
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,000
might not that we can answer a

917
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,060
general, you know, is that a

918
00:51:54,060 --> 00:51:56,160
they're sociopaths in those

919
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:00,210
deliberate effort to create the

920
00:52:00,210 --> 00:52:01,800
direction? It's probably both.

921
00:52:01,950 --> 00:52:04,470
with the elites, it is

922
00:52:04,470 --> 00:52:08,460
And AI is a huge part of it. I'm

923
00:52:08,460 --> 00:52:11,820
know, free again, going to be

924
00:52:11,820 --> 00:52:14,910
Catherine Austin, Fitz, that's

925
00:52:14,940 --> 00:52:17,490
artificial intelligence, it's

926
00:52:17,490 --> 00:52:22,530
more than just what I'm going to

927
00:52:22,530 --> 00:52:25,080
lab a few years ago, right, I

928
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:28,200
Security Commission on

929
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:32,160
head of that is Eric Schmidt.

930
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:37,140
for life and mentor, is Henry

931
00:52:37,140 --> 00:52:40,920
in him wrote a book about AI. So

932
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:45,030
like setting essentially with a

933
00:52:45,030 --> 00:52:49,260
the national security level and

934
00:52:49,260 --> 00:52:51,450
basically how the quote unquote

935
00:52:51,450 --> 00:52:54,870
artificial intelligence and the

936
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:59,730
so insane. So the overview of

937
00:52:59,730 --> 00:53:03,060
because obviously, they say a

938
00:53:03,060 --> 00:53:07,230
basically say, artificial

939
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:12,240
that we cannot see, because it's

940
00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:15,630
then in another part of the

941
00:53:15,630 --> 00:53:19,470
to depend on artificial

942
00:53:19,470 --> 00:53:22,710
assistants, and if you think

943
00:53:22,710 --> 00:53:27,240
creating music. It's creating

944
00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:31,440
it's writing, fiction and

945
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:34,170
of these things humans used to

946
00:53:34,170 --> 00:53:37,950
dependent on AI doing all that

947
00:53:37,950 --> 00:53:43,470
become cognitively diminished to

948
00:53:43,470 --> 00:53:47,310
dependent on AI. And we can't

949
00:53:47,310 --> 00:53:51,630
that become dependent on AI that

950
00:53:51,630 --> 00:53:54,180
generations be able to

951
00:53:54,180 --> 00:54:00,240
don't oh my god, basically like

952
00:54:00,240 --> 00:54:04,560
people's minds basically

953
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:08,430
stupid that we can't function

954
00:54:08,430 --> 00:54:12,300
a different reality than we do,

955
00:54:12,330 --> 00:54:17,010
AI has no morality it has no

956
00:54:17,010 --> 00:54:21,540
there is programmed by these

957
00:54:21,570 --> 00:54:25,650
dependent on AI to tell you

958
00:54:25,650 --> 00:54:29,040
reality is and they don't see

959
00:54:29,100 --> 00:54:33,600
right? So it's about people

960
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:37,140
to call it transformed really,

961
00:54:37,140 --> 00:54:40,860
species where we can't perceive

962
00:54:40,950 --> 00:54:44,790
that these guys program does it

963
00:54:44,790 --> 00:54:51,240
same end goal is gaslighting,

964
00:54:51,240 --> 00:54:54,960
goal. Exactly. But if the goal

965
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:59,670
reality to suit the needs and

966
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,790
That's the biggest plan for AI

967
00:55:02,790 --> 00:55:06,720
know, write all the news

968
00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:10,740
video or any photograph they

969
00:55:10,740 --> 00:55:13,650
this is probably playing out on

970
00:55:13,650 --> 00:55:17,280
because, you know, on Twitter

971
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:21,780
these AI guys, you know, Elon

972
00:55:21,780 --> 00:55:25,560
was behind I think, one of the

973
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:31,140
GPT chat, GBT is all over this

974
00:55:31,140 --> 00:55:35,400
it. And it was before its big

975
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:39,480
got to use it. It's gone viral.

976
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,700
happening. And in that book,

977
00:55:41,700 --> 00:55:45,690
2020. They're basically like,

978
00:55:45,690 --> 00:55:48,720
taken over our lives, and people

979
00:55:49,050 --> 00:55:51,720
So they're expecting this to

980
00:55:51,720 --> 00:55:56,220
are going to have to say, No,

981
00:55:56,220 --> 00:56:00,300
crap anymore. And build

982
00:56:00,300 --> 00:56:03,210
people have become so addicted

983
00:56:03,210 --> 00:56:07,740
feelings they get from that, you

984
00:56:07,740 --> 00:56:09,960
whole dynamic we're talking

985
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:12,030
this public projection that

986
00:56:12,030 --> 00:56:13,260
won't be able to live without

987
00:56:13,650 --> 00:56:15,750
Yeah, right. It's already

988
00:56:15,750 --> 00:56:18,330
saying, I mean, they really

989
00:56:18,330 --> 00:56:21,090
I mean, you're having sociopaths

990
00:56:21,090 --> 00:56:24,180
sociopath is what it sounds

991
00:56:24,180 --> 00:56:26,400
though, let me let me ask it

992
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:29,910
written a lot about the art like

993
00:56:29,910 --> 00:56:33,150
able to achieve that does in

994
00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:35,790
pretending this is artificial

995
00:56:35,790 --> 00:56:39,270
basically emulating what they

996
00:56:39,270 --> 00:56:41,370
it be actual artificial

997
00:56:41,370 --> 00:56:42,930
that way? Because they've made

998
00:56:43,770 --> 00:56:46,380
Okay, so I think artificial

999
00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:49,590
talked about this before, part

1000
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,140
far along as they want, because

1001
00:56:52,140 --> 00:56:55,800
about not that long ago, was we

1002
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,860
sentient CYA, remember, and

1003
00:56:58,860 --> 00:57:01,950
trying to say that Google's AI

1004
00:57:01,950 --> 00:57:05,370
basically become like, the

1005
00:57:05,580 --> 00:57:07,200
that's kind of what I was

1006
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:10,980
clear, not not just AI but

1007
00:57:10,980 --> 00:57:13,440
like which is what they're

1008
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:16,260
this? Or are they is it still

1009
00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:20,400
It's gonna Yeah, the reason

1010
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:22,590
like sentient and all this

1011
00:57:22,590 --> 00:57:25,380
able to achieve that. I think

1012
00:57:25,380 --> 00:57:29,190
they will have it feign empathy,

1013
00:57:29,190 --> 00:57:29,550
right?

1014
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:31,560
They're literally taking

1015
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:32,190
intelligence.

1016
00:57:33,030 --> 00:57:36,510
But that's the point.

1017
00:57:36,510 --> 00:57:39,810
like built in sociopathic, it

1018
00:57:39,810 --> 00:57:43,530
make us human, it's there to

1019
00:57:43,530 --> 00:57:46,080
the whole point. I mean,

1020
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:49,110
does better and can like make

1021
00:57:49,110 --> 00:57:52,350
these people are telling you

1022
00:57:53,100 --> 00:57:55,650
And it's like a narcissist on

1023
00:57:55,650 --> 00:57:58,080
honest, it's kind of blowing

1024
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,200
mean, we're talking about them.

1025
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:04,740
we all seem to recognize are

1026
00:58:04,740 --> 00:58:07,290
artificial intelligence that

1027
00:58:07,290 --> 00:58:09,990
the way our lives are being

1028
00:58:09,990 --> 00:58:12,780
that? And they're literally

1029
00:58:12,780 --> 00:58:15,480
like they're like in an

1030
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:18,300
mindset. They want to be like

1031
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:21,060
forever. I mean, it's just, it's

1032
00:58:21,060 --> 00:58:22,110
stop something like that?

1033
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,170
Um, okay, so

1034
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,120
awesome question. I'm just

1035
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:34,860
Well, one thing I mean, if

1036
00:58:34,890 --> 00:58:37,770
anywhere about narcissism, how

1037
00:58:37,770 --> 00:58:39,870
How do you end things with a

1038
00:58:39,870 --> 00:58:43,650
narcissist out of your life? The

1039
00:58:43,650 --> 00:58:48,270
same. It's go no contact,

1040
00:58:48,270 --> 00:58:50,370
contact, I mean, there's some

1041
00:58:50,370 --> 00:58:55,680
lesser contact. But honestly, in

1042
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:59,190
what you have to do. Because you

1043
00:58:59,190 --> 00:59:03,420
they'll they'll try and suck you

1044
00:59:03,420 --> 00:59:03,600
think,

1045
00:59:05,460 --> 00:59:07,920
just the fact that I didn't

1046
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:09,540
thought was an impossible

1047
00:59:09,540 --> 00:59:12,630
said is exactly right. You just

1048
00:59:12,630 --> 00:59:14,850
with artificial intelligence or

1049
00:59:14,850 --> 00:59:16,110
in front. Right?

1050
00:59:16,230 --> 00:59:19,470
It's the same answer. So

1051
00:59:19,470 --> 00:59:23,100
elite, that are like this, it is

1052
00:59:23,100 --> 00:59:27,120
right. It's going no contact

1053
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,670
build something else. And that's

1054
00:59:29,670 --> 00:59:33,090
of other people have been

1055
00:59:33,090 --> 00:59:35,340
know, I think some people you

1056
00:59:35,340 --> 00:59:38,280
earlier, like, I've been good at

1057
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:40,980
government level, but not so

1058
00:59:40,980 --> 00:59:44,010
know, seeing it in my own

1059
00:59:44,010 --> 00:59:48,240
grew up and stuff. Obviously,

1060
00:59:48,690 --> 00:59:51,210
but you know, I think there's

1061
00:59:51,210 --> 00:59:53,610
opposite problem, and they're

1062
00:59:53,610 --> 00:59:55,500
their personal life but they

1063
00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:57,510
do it because their parents

1064
00:59:57,510 --> 00:59:59,970
everyone they know is always

1065
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,400
Maybe that's changing now to an

1066
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:04,800
of people that buy into that

1067
01:00:05,070 --> 01:00:07,200
I agree. Yeah, that's

1068
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:07,440
kind of

1069
01:00:07,890 --> 01:00:11,220
think about it. Yeah. About

1070
01:00:11,220 --> 01:00:14,070
life? You know, how do you deal

1071
01:00:14,070 --> 01:00:16,410
in a second. Oh, yeah. Go no

1072
01:00:16,410 --> 01:00:19,020
government that's trying to

1073
01:00:19,020 --> 01:00:20,130
pretty toxic. Right.

1074
01:00:21,270 --> 01:00:24,330
Exactly. Yeah. Well, I mean,

1075
01:00:24,330 --> 01:00:26,250
though, right? Because that's,

1076
01:00:26,250 --> 01:00:28,980
you look at it, like just taken

1077
01:00:28,980 --> 01:00:32,130
that the idea of somebody going

1078
01:00:32,130 --> 01:00:36,000
become a central part in how

1079
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:37,830
that's near impossible for some

1080
01:00:38,910 --> 01:00:42,720
Yeah, sure. But, you know,

1081
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:44,880
narcissistic relationship, like,

1082
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:48,780
earlier, you end up feeling like

1083
01:00:48,810 --> 01:00:52,920
you're hollowed out, and you

1084
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:57,000
lose complete control over your

1085
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:01,260
all. They want all the control.

1086
01:01:02,070 --> 01:01:04,710
And it's not necessarily because

1087
01:01:04,710 --> 01:01:09,480
have. It's like the feeling.

1088
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,790
that like, you know, or

1089
01:01:11,790 --> 01:01:15,150
essentially say the same thing,

1090
01:01:15,180 --> 01:01:18,840
that those feelings that bubble

1091
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:20,040
self, right?

1092
01:01:20,850 --> 01:01:23,670
Yeah, yeah, it makes sense.

1093
01:01:23,670 --> 01:01:26,340
essentially get driven to a

1094
01:01:26,340 --> 01:01:28,770
already desperate, but now

1095
01:01:28,770 --> 01:01:30,870
So you might as well go, no

1096
01:01:31,350 --> 01:01:32,190
causing it? Yeah,

1097
01:01:32,220 --> 01:01:34,650
exactly. I mean, it gets to

1098
01:01:34,650 --> 01:01:37,710
keep going. Yeah, you know, and

1099
01:01:37,710 --> 01:01:41,160
powers that be obviously haven't

1100
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:43,830
probably have to get worse for

1101
01:01:43,830 --> 01:01:48,660
people that know now, what's

1102
01:01:48,660 --> 01:01:51,930
answer is pretty clear. But I

1103
01:01:51,930 --> 01:01:55,350
people do, obviously. I mean, I

1104
01:01:55,350 --> 01:02:00,930
contact, but it's a whole issue

1105
01:02:00,930 --> 01:02:03,480
narcissist when they get

1106
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:05,940
obviously, you know, it's a

1107
01:02:05,940 --> 01:02:09,180
when you're gonna have a child

1108
01:02:09,180 --> 01:02:12,780
the it takes time to disentangle

1109
01:02:12,780 --> 01:02:17,490
thing, at least a lot of the

1110
01:02:17,970 --> 01:02:21,000
it's, it's the, it's really the

1111
01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:25,350
Yeah. And I think the point

1112
01:02:25,350 --> 01:02:28,710
you break contact, you still

1113
01:02:28,740 --> 01:02:31,590
you know, you without that

1114
01:02:31,590 --> 01:02:33,600
right, it's a whole process to

1115
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:35,580
think with this, this

1116
01:02:35,580 --> 01:02:37,860
see that in the sense of the way

1117
01:02:37,860 --> 01:02:40,110
their lives. Because you're

1118
01:02:40,110 --> 01:02:42,450
you look at a personal

1119
01:02:42,450 --> 01:02:45,570
to help somebody that have a

1120
01:02:45,570 --> 01:02:48,270
want yeah, you know, so there's

1121
01:02:48,270 --> 01:02:49,200
through that for people.

1122
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:51,990
You know, I'm glad you

1123
01:02:51,990 --> 01:02:54,870
know, in cults, right, you have

1124
01:02:54,870 --> 01:02:57,960
Stockholm syndrome. And

1125
01:02:57,960 --> 01:03:02,760
cults of survivors, trauma,

1126
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,070
get thrown around, but I think,

1127
01:03:05,070 --> 01:03:07,890
from other people before, I

1128
01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:09,600
you know, there's, there's

1129
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:12,000
like, people have Stockholm

1130
01:03:12,030 --> 01:03:14,880
right? Because you're grown up

1131
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:16,890
is going to be there for you.

1132
01:03:16,890 --> 01:03:20,400
parent. And ever since the

1133
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:25,020
it's been one long, steady road

1134
01:03:25,020 --> 01:03:27,360
greatness. Well, I mean, that's

1135
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:30,870
school textbooks, I mean, public

1136
01:03:30,870 --> 01:03:33,810
all. So you're, like, fed this

1137
01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:39,360
can't handle the reality, you

1138
01:03:39,510 --> 01:03:43,590
the reality is there, and the

1139
01:03:43,950 --> 01:03:47,430
they'll still hold on to that.

1140
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:52,110
in a narcissistic relationship a

1141
01:03:52,110 --> 01:03:54,630
doesn't happen with narcissistic

1142
01:03:54,630 --> 01:03:58,590
earlier, kids are stuck with the

1143
01:03:58,590 --> 01:04:01,470
relationships, there's this

1144
01:04:01,470 --> 01:04:05,580
this trauma bonding thing. And

1145
01:04:05,580 --> 01:04:09,150
bombing. So it's like the early

1146
01:04:09,150 --> 01:04:11,730
you're just showered with

1147
01:04:11,730 --> 01:04:16,410
they're so nice to you. And they

1148
01:04:16,410 --> 01:04:19,230
that's called mirroring where

1149
01:04:19,230 --> 01:04:22,110
something and they'll be like,

1150
01:04:22,110 --> 01:04:24,360
they probably never even heard

1151
01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:29,640
become they study you

1152
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:32,100
trying to present themselves

1153
01:04:32,100 --> 01:04:34,860
because there's so much like you

1154
01:04:34,860 --> 01:04:37,650
that we're so much like each

1155
01:04:38,460 --> 01:04:42,930
Because I mean, it sounds like

1156
01:04:45,090 --> 01:04:47,100
you know, someone that's

1157
01:04:47,100 --> 01:04:49,440
move and then emulating that

1158
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:51,270
you. It's terrifying. Well, like

1159
01:04:51,270 --> 01:04:53,880
earlier, like I mentioned

1160
01:04:53,910 --> 01:04:57,240
mimic it. I think this is kind

1161
01:04:57,240 --> 01:05:01,080
someone to fall in love with me.

1162
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:05,820
studied it and done it enough

1163
01:05:05,820 --> 01:05:10,260
that phase ends, you know, they

1164
01:05:10,260 --> 01:05:13,380
start. And then they start doing

1165
01:05:13,380 --> 01:05:16,320
far as the terminology club

1166
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:20,910
crumbing, right, where basically

1167
01:05:20,910 --> 01:05:24,390
abuse, and then there'll be like

1168
01:05:24,390 --> 01:05:29,820
was in that love bombing stage.

1169
01:05:29,820 --> 01:05:34,110
they act like that person again.

1170
01:05:34,110 --> 01:05:38,040
the abuse. And so you're left

1171
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:42,450
person. Or if I do, what they

1172
01:05:42,450 --> 01:05:45,810
telling me to do, and I accept

1173
01:05:45,810 --> 01:05:49,200
100% of the time, which no

1174
01:05:50,580 --> 01:05:54,180
you know, then that person will

1175
01:05:54,180 --> 01:05:56,220
perfect relationship like I

1176
01:05:56,220 --> 01:05:59,430
the beginning. And they'll just

1177
01:05:59,430 --> 01:06:02,160
a long time. And that's

1178
01:06:02,490 --> 01:06:06,210
is in the narcissistic

1179
01:06:06,210 --> 01:06:08,400
know, I think the way the

1180
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:11,850
with like a PR campaign, you

1181
01:06:11,850 --> 01:06:14,610
that way and be like, Oh, well,

1182
01:06:14,610 --> 01:06:16,860
thing. Oh, well, look over here.

1183
01:06:16,860 --> 01:06:20,640
government's done. Or look, Joe

1184
01:06:20,640 --> 01:06:24,840
mind that they've eaten almost

1185
01:06:25,470 --> 01:06:27,810
or that, you know, his son's

1186
01:06:27,810 --> 01:06:30,330
corrupt, and, oh, look, they

1187
01:06:30,330 --> 01:06:32,940
grandkids and all this stuff.

1188
01:06:33,569 --> 01:06:36,119
that's an important part of

1189
01:06:36,239 --> 01:06:40,139
the basically just trying to

1190
01:06:40,139 --> 01:06:42,809
act like project that out to the

1191
01:06:42,809 --> 01:06:44,519
mentioned something before,

1192
01:06:44,519 --> 01:06:47,069
farming sympathy, you know, it's

1193
01:06:47,069 --> 01:06:50,129
it seems is absolutely necessary

1194
01:06:50,129 --> 01:06:52,319
what they're doing is to, you

1195
01:06:52,319 --> 01:06:54,419
same point from the beginning,

1196
01:06:54,809 --> 01:06:57,599
need to project that so people

1197
01:06:57,599 --> 01:06:58,589
it's kind of full circle.

1198
01:07:00,210 --> 01:07:05,610
Yeah. And don't worry about

1199
01:07:05,610 --> 01:07:08,250
thing, too, like in that PR

1200
01:07:08,250 --> 01:07:10,080
does. So like, they'll have the

1201
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:13,140
leaders, the people in charge,

1202
01:07:13,140 --> 01:07:16,170
people, they really are with PR

1203
01:07:16,170 --> 01:07:19,470
with narcissists, too, that sort

1204
01:07:19,470 --> 01:07:22,920
seen it referred to as the smear

1205
01:07:22,920 --> 01:07:26,490
narcissists realize they can't

1206
01:07:26,490 --> 01:07:30,450
person is no longer serving them

1207
01:07:30,450 --> 01:07:34,770
them. But before they discard or

1208
01:07:34,770 --> 01:07:37,770
know, they don't necessarily

1209
01:07:37,770 --> 01:07:40,710
discarding the person but in the

1210
01:07:40,710 --> 01:07:45,090
to they they start slowly

1211
01:07:45,090 --> 01:07:48,480
back, like, oh, yeah, well, the

1212
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:52,050
crazy to some people here in

1213
01:07:52,050 --> 01:07:56,370
insurance policy, in a sense, so

1214
01:07:56,370 --> 01:07:57,900
to be on their side when things

1215
01:07:58,020 --> 01:08:01,680
finally go south. Very

1216
01:08:01,950 --> 01:08:04,230
yeah, totally. And so I

1217
01:08:04,230 --> 01:08:06,270
to like, you know, they've

1218
01:08:06,270 --> 01:08:08,880
years that everyone that doesn't

1219
01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:10,380
a domestic terrorist.

1220
01:08:11,370 --> 01:08:15,510
Yeah, right. Yeah. Well, you

1221
01:08:15,510 --> 01:08:18,870
know, the capsulate, everybody

1222
01:08:18,870 --> 01:08:19,020
that's

1223
01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:22,410
crazy, totally. And there's

1224
01:08:22,410 --> 01:08:24,510
which also happens with

1225
01:08:24,510 --> 01:08:27,900
someone that doesn't want to

1226
01:08:27,900 --> 01:08:31,290
is automatically anti Vax,

1227
01:08:31,290 --> 01:08:33,510
people that just want people to

1228
01:08:33,510 --> 01:08:36,480
if they've gotten all the

1229
01:08:36,990 --> 01:08:41,400
you know, and there's like this.

1230
01:08:41,430 --> 01:08:46,800
for narcissists to do too. I

1231
01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:50,760
don't even know if I can pick

1232
01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:53,280
all the time with with these

1233
01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:55,500
that's really common with

1234
01:08:55,500 --> 01:08:58,980
don't have they don't allow

1235
01:08:58,980 --> 01:09:01,830
people, they abuse to have

1236
01:09:01,830 --> 01:09:05,670
healthy boundaries at all. So in

1237
01:09:05,670 --> 01:09:08,610
parents, they see children,

1238
01:09:08,610 --> 01:09:11,850
themselves. And so like, they

1239
01:09:11,850 --> 01:09:16,740
privacy at all, like so for

1240
01:09:16,740 --> 01:09:22,830
I'd get, you know, my mother

1241
01:09:22,830 --> 01:09:25,890
the house. So like, even if I

1242
01:09:26,190 --> 01:09:29,250
she could come in and scream at

1243
01:09:29,250 --> 01:09:31,920
to have that time to myself,

1244
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:36,570
stuff. I obviously didn't keep a

1245
01:09:36,570 --> 01:09:40,380
them, you know, searched my room

1246
01:09:40,380 --> 01:09:44,580
you're not allowed to have

1247
01:09:44,580 --> 01:09:48,720
powers that be if you think

1248
01:09:48,720 --> 01:09:52,080
have any privacy. Right? And if

1249
01:09:52,080 --> 01:09:55,140
boundaries, in a sense, you

1250
01:09:55,140 --> 01:09:57,300
societal level or the

1251
01:09:57,300 --> 01:10:00,150
law, right? That's what's

1252
01:10:00,150 --> 01:10:02,790
in society, you can't break the

1253
01:10:02,790 --> 01:10:06,330
boundary that's been placed

1254
01:10:06,330 --> 01:10:09,390
the powers that be themselves,

1255
01:10:09,450 --> 01:10:13,380
without consequence. Right?

1256
01:10:13,380 --> 01:10:16,140
just for the people beneath them

1257
01:10:16,500 --> 01:10:19,080
It's all inherently ties

1258
01:10:19,080 --> 01:10:21,660
exactly the same point with

1259
01:10:21,660 --> 01:10:24,780
is very aware that we all see

1260
01:10:24,780 --> 01:10:27,180
they're doing is not trying to

1261
01:10:27,180 --> 01:10:30,570
They're prying in to our

1262
01:10:30,570 --> 01:10:33,060
sure that they know what's going

1263
01:10:33,060 --> 01:10:35,280
you're, you're staying with your

1264
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:37,320
making sure you're not doing

1265
01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:39,750
opinion, it sounds more like

1266
01:10:39,750 --> 01:10:43,020
might be doing, they don't want

1267
01:10:43,020 --> 01:10:45,090
they don't want you to see. Or

1268
01:10:45,090 --> 01:10:49,440
more to me, it's more inherent

1269
01:10:49,440 --> 01:10:50,160
government. I

1270
01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:52,680
don't think they're good.

1271
01:10:52,680 --> 01:10:56,760
think if it was insecurity, I

1272
01:10:56,790 --> 01:11:02,400
control, control, and dominance,

1273
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:02,790
them.

1274
01:11:03,840 --> 01:11:05,910
Your personal situations,

1275
01:11:05,910 --> 01:11:08,310
than anybody I mean, like in a

1276
01:11:08,310 --> 01:11:11,100
couldn't you argue that control

1277
01:11:11,100 --> 01:11:13,800
way that people need that

1278
01:11:13,800 --> 01:11:16,560
narcissists, because they're

1279
01:11:16,590 --> 01:11:18,900
when you're not doing exactly

1280
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:19,560
I would see that.

1281
01:11:19,619 --> 01:11:22,589
Yeah, maybe maybe to an

1282
01:11:22,589 --> 01:11:27,899
time, you know, like I was

1283
01:11:27,899 --> 01:11:30,719
because of my experiences, I

1284
01:11:30,719 --> 01:11:33,749
about how Pete other people's

1285
01:11:33,749 --> 01:11:37,559
there was this one story of this

1286
01:11:37,559 --> 01:11:41,249
this case. And he had three

1287
01:11:41,249 --> 01:11:44,099
daughters and necklaces, and he

1288
01:11:44,099 --> 01:11:47,639
four, five, and six, and said,

1289
01:11:47,639 --> 01:11:50,249
all the time, you can't take

1290
01:11:50,249 --> 01:11:54,149
you take them off, and I'll see

1291
01:11:54,149 --> 01:11:56,459
know, basically being like,

1292
01:11:56,459 --> 01:11:58,949
technology, and they were

1293
01:11:58,949 --> 01:12:01,799
terrified to take them off. And

1294
01:12:01,799 --> 01:12:06,449
little glass bead necklaces, or

1295
01:12:06,479 --> 01:12:10,139
that's about control. That's

1296
01:12:10,139 --> 01:12:13,439
you. Yeah, and doing whatever

1297
01:12:13,439 --> 01:12:16,679
using fear to control people.

1298
01:12:16,679 --> 01:12:20,999
lot of that too. And one of the

1299
01:12:20,999 --> 01:12:23,759
not, like I told you before we

1300
01:12:23,759 --> 01:12:27,509
of the reasons I've never really

1301
01:12:27,509 --> 01:12:33,269
before is because I've been too

1302
01:12:33,269 --> 01:12:37,079
I've, you know, don't have

1303
01:12:37,079 --> 01:12:41,459
parents, you know, I'm scared,

1304
01:12:41,459 --> 01:12:43,319
talked about it, I might get

1305
01:12:43,319 --> 01:12:47,489
something to me. I mean, it

1306
01:12:47,489 --> 01:12:50,129
life very much at all,

1307
01:12:50,129 --> 01:12:52,739
know, especially now because

1308
01:12:52,739 --> 01:12:56,699
know, the situation, you know,

1309
01:12:56,699 --> 01:13:00,539
was younger, but they they all

1310
01:13:00,539 --> 01:13:04,379
I'm still scared. Just to say

1311
01:13:04,379 --> 01:13:09,959
same thing to with with my ex.

1312
01:13:09,959 --> 01:13:14,039
months ago, I was scared to say

1313
01:13:14,039 --> 01:13:16,469
you know, my son was in the

1314
01:13:16,469 --> 01:13:20,249
like crap. He didn't even ask

1315
01:13:20,249 --> 01:13:25,289
son. And then he was, you know,

1316
01:13:25,289 --> 01:13:28,709
with people that I work really

1317
01:13:28,739 --> 01:13:31,589
including people that contribute

1318
01:13:31,589 --> 01:13:34,889
author articles with and not

1319
01:13:34,889 --> 01:13:38,339
other people, you know why I've

1320
01:13:38,339 --> 01:13:43,259
experience with our child. And

1321
01:13:43,259 --> 01:13:49,589
was also trying to publicly farm

1322
01:13:49,649 --> 01:13:54,629
off of my son's condition, even

1323
01:13:54,629 --> 01:14:01,499
never send money. So, you know,

1324
01:14:01,499 --> 01:14:04,619
that point, because I, you know,

1325
01:14:04,619 --> 01:14:09,539
fear of people forever. You

1326
01:14:09,539 --> 01:14:13,859
for a long time. And I don't,

1327
01:14:13,859 --> 01:14:16,769
government, right. Like, I don't

1328
01:14:17,069 --> 01:14:21,269
But in my personal life, I you

1329
01:14:21,269 --> 01:14:24,419
to just sit there and think

1330
01:14:24,719 --> 01:14:29,969
you know, who I am, you know, I

1331
01:14:29,969 --> 01:14:32,789
hell, while I was in a

1332
01:14:33,149 --> 01:14:35,699
That was wrong with me. I should

1333
01:14:35,699 --> 01:14:39,689
controlled by fear. But I was,

1334
01:14:39,689 --> 01:14:44,219
always be sad for me, you know,

1335
01:14:44,519 --> 01:14:48,479
I have to stand up to the bully

1336
01:14:48,479 --> 01:14:52,289
of us have to, whether it's the

1337
01:14:52,559 --> 01:14:56,549
people don't deserve to be

1338
01:14:56,549 --> 01:15:00,929
feeling like I deserve to be

1339
01:15:01,079 --> 01:15:06,449
for me to move on, I have I just

1340
01:15:06,449 --> 01:15:09,689
about it. Because I didn't know

1341
01:15:09,689 --> 01:15:11,099
fear. You know?

1342
01:15:11,250 --> 01:15:14,220
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean,

1343
01:15:14,220 --> 01:15:16,920
thing to do in general, just for

1344
01:15:16,950 --> 01:15:21,210
what's important? Is it you tell

1345
01:15:21,210 --> 01:15:23,400
even talk about this, depending

1346
01:15:23,400 --> 01:15:27,660
it. But the action of making

1347
01:15:27,660 --> 01:15:29,940
healing part we're talking

1348
01:15:29,940 --> 01:15:33,600
that you, like you said, like,

1349
01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:36,180
those listening, you know, what

1350
01:15:36,180 --> 01:15:38,400
point for you? What was it? I

1351
01:15:38,430 --> 01:15:41,220
this very powerful, this

1352
01:15:41,220 --> 01:15:44,310
you're suffering with your son,

1353
01:15:44,310 --> 01:15:46,980
reflect on that? Is that what

1354
01:15:46,980 --> 01:15:49,110
the edge? Or was there something

1355
01:15:49,110 --> 01:15:51,600
realize that you need to be

1356
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:54,660
know, it, there was a lot of

1357
01:15:54,660 --> 01:15:57,870
course of relationship that was,

1358
01:15:57,870 --> 01:16:01,530
edge a few times, I guess, you

1359
01:16:01,530 --> 01:16:07,380
I broke up with this person, or

1360
01:16:08,010 --> 01:16:10,770
you know, the only reason I said

1361
01:16:10,770 --> 01:16:13,620
really don't like like I said

1362
01:16:13,620 --> 01:16:17,550
about my personal life at all.

1363
01:16:17,550 --> 01:16:21,060
really bad point for that to

1364
01:16:21,060 --> 01:16:23,550
son's been on a ventilator for

1365
01:16:23,550 --> 01:16:28,410
they're going to come home, and

1366
01:16:28,410 --> 01:16:32,310
of saying, How can I help? Is

1367
01:16:32,310 --> 01:16:35,670
know, bullying you demanding

1368
01:16:35,700 --> 01:16:40,950
threatening you. It's just, it

1369
01:16:40,950 --> 01:16:45,090
trying to trash your reputation

1370
01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:48,870
I couldn't, you know, I didn't

1371
01:16:48,870 --> 01:16:52,440
down anymore. I mean, it's just

1372
01:16:52,470 --> 01:16:56,400
that whole relationship left me

1373
01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:59,730
Anyway, and I was, you know,

1374
01:16:59,730 --> 01:17:02,070
hospital, I felt like I was

1375
01:17:02,070 --> 01:17:05,580
then to have to go through all

1376
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:10,620
And I mean, I mean, there's, you

1377
01:17:10,620 --> 01:17:13,410
happened before them, too, you

1378
01:17:14,040 --> 01:17:17,970
spew all the details or

1379
01:17:17,970 --> 01:17:21,390
at a certain point, people have

1380
01:17:21,390 --> 01:17:24,690
in their personal life, or, you

1381
01:17:24,720 --> 01:17:27,660
you know, healthy boundaries are

1382
01:17:27,660 --> 01:17:31,380
me, it's been hard because, you

1383
01:17:32,130 --> 01:17:36,600
have boundaries. So, like, being

1384
01:17:36,600 --> 01:17:40,710
is like a lifelong struggle, or

1385
01:17:40,710 --> 01:17:45,030
33. So I'm not that old, I

1386
01:17:45,030 --> 01:17:49,860
taken a long time. For me to

1387
01:17:49,860 --> 01:17:52,710
treated that way. Like,

1388
01:17:52,710 --> 01:17:57,030
know, and, you know, that's

1389
01:17:57,030 --> 01:17:59,460
mean, we all have stuff that,

1390
01:17:59,460 --> 01:18:02,340
with, because of, you know, how

1391
01:18:02,520 --> 01:18:08,700
everyone's case is different,

1392
01:18:08,700 --> 01:18:12,960
mean, it's been, it's definitely

1393
01:18:12,960 --> 01:18:18,000
challenge. And in my case, and,

1394
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:22,320
esteem sucks. You know,

1395
01:18:22,680 --> 01:18:27,630
working in an environment like

1396
01:18:27,630 --> 01:18:32,580
people are not like that, and

1397
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,610
And, you know, some of them are

1398
01:18:35,610 --> 01:18:39,030
narcissistic spectrum a bit too,

1399
01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:41,970
influencer status, where I feel

1400
01:18:41,970 --> 01:18:44,760
we were talking about earlier on

1401
01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:47,640
people that do have those

1402
01:18:47,640 --> 01:18:50,610
massive following, and, you

1403
01:18:50,610 --> 01:18:54,930
has to go into overdrive for

1404
01:18:54,930 --> 01:18:59,640
ahead, go ahead. Yeah, well, you

1405
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:04,530
know, I was told, when I broke

1406
01:19:04,530 --> 01:19:09,180
know, I couldn't break up with

1407
01:19:09,180 --> 01:19:13,140
was their chance to make it an

1408
01:19:13,140 --> 01:19:16,740
associated with me. They, I

1409
01:19:16,740 --> 01:19:20,280
that they've been using me the

1410
01:19:20,280 --> 01:19:25,050
care about this stuff at all.

1411
01:19:25,560 --> 01:19:28,590
this whole ID driver's license

1412
01:19:28,590 --> 01:19:32,850
out, because I can go like, play

1413
01:19:32,850 --> 01:19:36,390
stuff that I actually like, you

1414
01:19:36,390 --> 01:19:40,080
report on like, Insane Clown

1415
01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:44,790
stuck on a screen constantly.

1416
01:19:44,790 --> 01:19:48,420
people that are willing to, you

1417
01:19:48,420 --> 01:19:52,020
relationship by impregnating

1418
01:19:52,020 --> 01:19:56,100
get that stuff. I mean, it's

1419
01:19:56,100 --> 01:20:00,600
really think you know about

1420
01:20:00,600 --> 01:20:03,660
that experience and in a

1421
01:20:03,660 --> 01:20:06,720
I always wanted to think that

1422
01:20:06,720 --> 01:20:11,490
is anti system and anti

1423
01:20:11,820 --> 01:20:17,100
they're not going to be like

1424
01:20:17,100 --> 01:20:19,980
at the end of the day, I think

1425
01:20:19,980 --> 01:20:22,260
people in alternative media,

1426
01:20:22,260 --> 01:20:25,170
way, I think that same model

1427
01:20:25,170 --> 01:20:30,900
earlier, exactly, over time, has

1428
01:20:30,900 --> 01:20:34,530
than before in alternative media

1429
01:20:35,190 --> 01:20:39,540
be all about the followers and

1430
01:20:39,540 --> 01:20:43,740
revenue model, it's definitely

1431
01:20:44,250 --> 01:20:47,730
from the truth telling and the

1432
01:20:47,730 --> 01:20:51,900
MSM, I think a lot of, you know,

1433
01:20:51,900 --> 01:20:54,810
alternative media have

1434
01:20:54,810 --> 01:20:57,750
a different variety of talking

1435
01:20:58,080 --> 01:21:04,800
And it's really disappointing.

1436
01:21:05,400 --> 01:21:10,590
good. Well, I think also, like,

1437
01:21:10,590 --> 01:21:13,350
an alternative media, if we're

1438
01:21:13,350 --> 01:21:17,250
from mainstream media is be

1439
01:21:17,250 --> 01:21:20,580
there's not enough authenticity.

1440
01:21:21,300 --> 01:21:24,990
you know, if you think back many

1441
01:21:24,990 --> 01:21:28,560
just starting, and I think

1442
01:21:28,560 --> 01:21:31,470
tell, at least, you know, people

1443
01:21:31,470 --> 01:21:34,620
thinking can sort of sniff out

1444
01:21:34,620 --> 01:21:37,980
pretty easily over time. You

1445
01:21:37,980 --> 01:21:43,620
you who they are. Eventually,

1446
01:21:43,620 --> 01:21:46,170
know, even in the political

1447
01:21:46,170 --> 01:21:49,890
want to dunk on on Robert F.

1448
01:21:49,890 --> 01:21:55,020
people can imagine that I don't

1449
01:21:57,450 --> 01:22:00,990
Yeah. But you know, I've met

1450
01:22:00,990 --> 01:22:03,480
nice to me. When my son was in

1451
01:22:03,480 --> 01:22:06,690
email saying he was praying I'm

1452
01:22:06,690 --> 01:22:08,940
didn't have to do that, you

1453
01:22:08,940 --> 01:22:12,660
he's a bad guy. But I think, you

1454
01:22:12,660 --> 01:22:17,190
for office, or it was his idea.

1455
01:22:17,190 --> 01:22:20,490
think this happens to a lot of

1456
01:22:20,490 --> 01:22:26,400
good intentions. They pander. I

1457
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:29,460
Bitcoin Conference, how I felt

1458
01:22:29,460 --> 01:22:33,390
was like, you know, when you

1459
01:22:33,390 --> 01:22:37,350
then it's really successful, and

1460
01:22:37,350 --> 01:22:41,670
always Electronic Arts, and then

1461
01:22:41,670 --> 01:22:44,820
it down so that more people buy

1462
01:22:44,820 --> 01:22:48,420
ruin it, by trying to like make

1463
01:22:48,420 --> 01:22:52,590
what happens when someone you

1464
01:22:52,590 --> 01:22:56,550
for office, right? I agree, at

1465
01:22:56,550 --> 01:23:00,240
about it. And so you know, I

1466
01:23:00,240 --> 01:23:03,840
someone like him, had gone into

1467
01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:05,850
I'm going to keep authentic

1468
01:23:05,850 --> 01:23:09,060
pander to powerful groups and

1469
01:23:09,900 --> 01:23:13,500
be authentic and say what they

1470
01:23:13,500 --> 01:23:16,500
people don't like it, people

1471
01:23:16,500 --> 01:23:20,280
everyone in political offices

1472
01:23:20,280 --> 01:23:24,450
know, exactly that is, people

1473
01:23:24,450 --> 01:23:28,200
everything's freaking fake, you

1474
01:23:28,950 --> 01:23:29,460
Yeah,

1475
01:23:29,580 --> 01:23:31,710
I was just gonna say on a

1476
01:23:31,710 --> 01:23:34,530
know, you point out the, the

1477
01:23:34,530 --> 01:23:37,440
that on the other side of that,

1478
01:23:37,440 --> 01:23:41,730
you're also being overwhelmed

1479
01:23:41,850 --> 01:23:44,100
from people, you know, we

1480
01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:46,770
well, that you up, you do a

1481
01:23:46,770 --> 01:23:50,310
comments, or people just very

1482
01:23:50,310 --> 01:23:53,340
angry mean things. And that

1483
01:23:53,340 --> 01:23:56,010
has an effect. And by the way I

1484
01:23:56,010 --> 01:23:59,340
to your point about social,

1485
01:23:59,340 --> 01:24:02,730
of them have kind of con gone

1486
01:24:02,730 --> 01:24:04,770
some of that's intentional

1487
01:24:04,770 --> 01:24:07,920
care about money, but a lot of

1488
01:24:07,920 --> 01:24:09,990
know, we're because they're in

1489
01:24:09,990 --> 01:24:12,450
the beginning, that what social

1490
01:24:12,450 --> 01:24:15,210
find yourself in this position.

1491
01:24:15,210 --> 01:24:17,340
been speaking about about

1492
01:24:17,340 --> 01:24:21,480
you've got this model. That's,

1493
01:24:21,480 --> 01:24:23,370
where people didn't realize this

1494
01:24:23,370 --> 01:24:25,860
mixed up in this, their entire

1495
01:24:26,280 --> 01:24:29,700
hinging on Twitter, ad revenue,

1496
01:24:29,730 --> 01:24:32,520
you can see, you know, that

1497
01:24:32,880 --> 01:24:36,060
the ad revenue. Yeah, the ad

1498
01:24:36,060 --> 01:24:39,240
it to a next level, because

1499
01:24:39,270 --> 01:24:45,120
And so you had like, you and I

1500
01:24:45,120 --> 01:24:48,630
that had viral tweets about Maui

1501
01:24:48,630 --> 01:24:54,030
totally fake and saying it was

1502
01:24:54,990 --> 01:24:59,310
Right, but that guy got a ton of

1503
01:24:59,310 --> 01:25:02,850
that program. him, right? So

1504
01:25:02,850 --> 01:25:07,410
saying whatever. And so people

1505
01:25:07,410 --> 01:25:10,920
thing that they think is gonna

1506
01:25:10,920 --> 01:25:15,150
or positive, most likely

1507
01:25:15,150 --> 01:25:16,200
off of it. Well, I

1508
01:25:16,200 --> 01:25:18,600
would say, though that I

1509
01:25:18,600 --> 01:25:20,520
speech in mind, even though it's

1510
01:25:20,520 --> 01:25:22,320
they should be allowed to say

1511
01:25:22,320 --> 01:25:24,780
with. But what I see happening,

1512
01:25:24,810 --> 01:25:27,540
censoring things that are true,

1513
01:25:27,540 --> 01:25:29,910
then almost raising up this

1514
01:25:29,910 --> 01:25:32,820
think is truly happening is

1515
01:25:32,820 --> 01:25:35,460
always said the independent

1516
01:25:35,460 --> 01:25:37,860
been, like, we're all just in

1517
01:25:37,860 --> 01:25:40,740
money is barely ever been there

1518
01:25:40,740 --> 01:25:42,690
it suddenly they're like

1519
01:25:42,690 --> 01:25:45,960
totally rush for fake news, like

1520
01:25:45,960 --> 01:25:46,740
then they can point at it.

1521
01:25:47,460 --> 01:25:49,560
Exactly. Yeah, I think

1522
01:25:49,560 --> 01:25:53,130
mean, if you see, you know,

1523
01:25:53,130 --> 01:25:57,240
part of this technocratic system

1524
01:25:57,240 --> 01:26:04,200
ambition that Musk has for it.

1525
01:26:04,200 --> 01:26:06,930
way to sort of, you know,

1526
01:26:06,930 --> 01:26:09,600
media. And so part of that is

1527
01:26:09,630 --> 01:26:12,090
credibility of people that

1528
01:26:12,090 --> 01:26:15,870
approved media. And people like

1529
01:26:15,900 --> 01:26:21,810
It's an old tactic of poisoning

1530
01:26:21,810 --> 01:26:24,900
welcome be full of clean water,

1531
01:26:24,900 --> 01:26:27,990
poison, and then you ruin the

1532
01:26:27,990 --> 01:26:31,500
point to that and be like that,

1533
01:26:32,040 --> 01:26:36,570
don't use it. So, um, you know,

1534
01:26:36,570 --> 01:26:41,100
at the end of the day, I think,

1535
01:26:41,340 --> 01:26:45,510
that to. So, you know, I think

1536
01:26:45,510 --> 01:26:47,580
know, this is true of

1537
01:26:47,580 --> 01:26:52,230
an addiction, in my experience

1538
01:26:52,320 --> 01:26:54,930
If it's not there, they have to

1539
01:26:54,930 --> 01:26:58,770
that fighting, they get

1540
01:26:58,830 --> 01:27:02,460
the constant back and forth and

1541
01:27:02,460 --> 01:27:05,850
people that you know, it's

1542
01:27:06,030 --> 01:27:08,190
right? And not necessarily

1543
01:27:08,190 --> 01:27:10,800
narcissist. I'm not saying that.

1544
01:27:10,800 --> 01:27:13,470
addictive stuff that happens in

1545
01:27:13,470 --> 01:27:18,330
likes and followers, and lots of

1546
01:27:18,720 --> 01:27:23,370
to arguing constantly and online

1547
01:27:23,370 --> 01:27:26,520
means to do that, and then you

1548
01:27:26,820 --> 01:27:30,690
and then have it everywhere in

1549
01:27:30,990 --> 01:27:35,160
and all of a sudden, Twitter is

1550
01:27:35,880 --> 01:27:37,920
Yeah, totally. You know,

1551
01:27:37,920 --> 01:27:40,860
we don't like, I don't know

1552
01:27:40,860 --> 01:27:43,650
actual physiology. That's the

1553
01:27:43,650 --> 01:27:46,590
makeup of what happens in this

1554
01:27:46,590 --> 01:27:49,020
one thing I've read about in the

1555
01:27:49,380 --> 01:27:53,100
like for instance, taking the

1556
01:27:53,100 --> 01:27:55,350
Twitter, in the back of the what

1557
01:27:55,350 --> 01:27:58,290
cases for people, when you get

1558
01:27:58,350 --> 01:28:01,260
it's cortisol, right? Your fight

1559
01:28:01,260 --> 01:28:04,050
know, but what happens for

1560
01:28:04,050 --> 01:28:06,870
begin to change the way your

1561
01:28:07,020 --> 01:28:10,320
producing a different you get a

1562
01:28:10,440 --> 01:28:13,980
from making people angry, and

1563
01:28:13,980 --> 01:28:16,950
brain. Oh, that's terrifying. I

1564
01:28:16,950 --> 01:28:17,430
what's happening.

1565
01:28:18,060 --> 01:28:21,030
Yeah, that's very possible.

1566
01:28:21,030 --> 01:28:23,850
crazy. That's crazy. You can get

1567
01:28:23,850 --> 01:28:24,360
angry.

1568
01:28:24,659 --> 01:28:26,999
Well, we know that exists.

1569
01:28:26,999 --> 01:28:29,879
like, like people that are, you

1570
01:28:29,879 --> 01:28:32,189
themselves during sex. And, you

1571
01:28:32,189 --> 01:28:34,379
there for some people, but I

1572
01:28:34,379 --> 01:28:37,319
some of these people. You know,

1573
01:28:37,320 --> 01:28:42,090
to me. Yeah. Good. No, I

1574
01:28:42,090 --> 01:28:45,060
mainly because he like, because

1575
01:28:45,060 --> 01:28:49,170
this constant generation of

1576
01:28:49,170 --> 01:28:54,690
hate conflict. I hate it when

1577
01:28:54,690 --> 01:28:59,100
fight let's, how can we defuse

1578
01:28:59,100 --> 01:29:02,610
this later. And, I mean, it's

1579
01:29:02,610 --> 01:29:05,700
someone's angry, I'm like, How

1580
01:29:05,700 --> 01:29:09,480
I react to it not I just can't

1581
01:29:09,480 --> 01:29:11,460
awesome. I made the mad and

1582
01:29:12,300 --> 01:29:15,210
feeling that feeling you get

1583
01:29:15,210 --> 01:29:17,850
talking about it feeling you

1584
01:29:17,850 --> 01:29:20,340
from some negative

1585
01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:22,980
you it sounds like people with

1586
01:29:22,980 --> 01:29:25,920
this negativity that you can't

1587
01:29:25,920 --> 01:29:30,570
either like that to begin with,

1588
01:29:30,570 --> 01:29:33,180
know, and it just becomes

1589
01:29:33,180 --> 01:29:35,730
grew up with people that used to

1590
01:29:35,730 --> 01:29:38,190
actually would love to get in

1591
01:29:38,190 --> 01:29:41,070
school, you know, and that's the

1592
01:29:41,070 --> 01:29:43,440
feeling that you enjoy through

1593
01:29:43,440 --> 01:29:46,140
way that works. It should be the

1594
01:29:46,170 --> 01:29:48,780
change that or they're born that

1595
01:29:48,780 --> 01:29:50,370
something in there that has to

1596
01:29:50,370 --> 01:29:53,280
talking about. I'm just not

1597
01:29:53,280 --> 01:29:55,320
to speak on it. But that's

1598
01:29:56,820 --> 01:29:58,800
Well, there's a whole bunch

1599
01:29:58,800 --> 01:30:01,020
that have been like there's a

1600
01:30:01,020 --> 01:30:03,750
what I can throw in the show

1601
01:30:03,750 --> 01:30:07,680
people that have devoted their

1602
01:30:07,680 --> 01:30:11,280
lot of these dynamics and, and

1603
01:30:11,280 --> 01:30:14,370
necessarily like how the powers

1604
01:30:14,370 --> 01:30:18,330
interpersonal relationships. And

1605
01:30:18,630 --> 01:30:20,820
There's a guy named Simon

1606
01:30:20,820 --> 01:30:24,060
times in the past, he kind of

1607
01:30:24,060 --> 01:30:28,260
it's actually more so about why

1608
01:30:28,260 --> 01:30:31,020
actually leaders. It's a really

1609
01:30:31,050 --> 01:30:34,320
eat last I think, is when he was

1610
01:30:34,320 --> 01:30:38,190
exact point, the, the, you know,

1611
01:30:38,220 --> 01:30:40,320
serotonin, and, you know, goes

1612
01:30:40,320 --> 01:30:42,960
applies. His whole point,

1613
01:30:42,960 --> 01:30:46,500
that are, you know, they

1614
01:30:46,500 --> 01:30:48,420
interest. It's the same kind of

1615
01:30:48,540 --> 01:30:52,200
his larger point is that true

1616
01:30:52,200 --> 01:30:54,060
that's the opposite of we're

1617
01:30:54,060 --> 01:30:56,460
we're dealing with people that

1618
01:30:56,460 --> 01:30:59,310
first. Because if I don't, I

1619
01:30:59,310 --> 01:31:00,630
have to die to do it. Like those

1620
01:31:00,750 --> 01:31:04,260
Sure. No, most definitely.

1621
01:31:04,260 --> 01:31:07,710
narcissism thing, too. Because

1622
01:31:07,800 --> 01:31:10,710
the people you're talking about,

1623
01:31:10,710 --> 01:31:14,430
center everything based on their

1624
01:31:14,430 --> 01:31:18,090
is what matters. And, you know,

1625
01:31:18,090 --> 01:31:21,900
one, they'll frequently talk

1626
01:31:23,670 --> 01:31:29,250
And, you know, that extreme

1627
01:31:29,250 --> 01:31:33,420
for them to think about others

1628
01:31:33,420 --> 01:31:35,760
hard for them to think about

1629
01:31:35,760 --> 01:31:40,170
situations, in dire situations,

1630
01:31:40,319 --> 01:31:43,559
Absolutely. I mean, they

1631
01:31:43,559 --> 01:31:46,649
both in relationships, as well

1632
01:31:46,649 --> 01:31:50,309
like, like, as if you become

1633
01:31:50,309 --> 01:31:52,649
yourself that you are the most

1634
01:31:52,649 --> 01:31:54,959
may be in some cases like so

1635
01:31:56,550 --> 01:31:59,160
Yes, I think that's probably

1636
01:31:59,160 --> 01:32:02,100
current president, I don't think

1637
01:32:02,130 --> 01:32:03,240
I agree with that.

1638
01:32:04,620 --> 01:32:08,640
Let's talk about being a

1639
01:32:09,270 --> 01:32:11,640
Yeah. I think Trump's a pretty

1640
01:32:11,640 --> 01:32:14,640
people freak out about the

1641
01:32:14,640 --> 01:32:17,430
personal power in general, you

1642
01:32:17,430 --> 01:32:20,160
you are the most important and

1643
01:32:20,550 --> 01:32:23,130
You know, it's interesting, in

1644
01:32:23,130 --> 01:32:26,250
is more more of a good point is

1645
01:32:26,250 --> 01:32:29,100
where you convince yourself that

1646
01:32:29,100 --> 01:32:32,520
without you. And that's like a

1647
01:32:33,510 --> 01:32:36,240
you brought up Trump and

1648
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:39,840
see stuff posted by Trump

1649
01:32:39,840 --> 01:32:42,270
all Trump supporters, but

1650
01:32:42,270 --> 01:32:45,120
guess they're probably sort of

1651
01:32:45,120 --> 01:32:47,670
they basically talk like,

1652
01:32:47,670 --> 01:32:51,030
office and they're like, it's

1653
01:32:51,030 --> 01:32:57,270
all about how he is was chosen

1654
01:32:57,270 --> 01:33:00,690
he's this and that. I mean, it's

1655
01:33:00,690 --> 01:33:04,530
about Trump, how he's basically

1656
01:33:04,530 --> 01:33:06,900
imagine the guy that's already

1657
01:33:06,900 --> 01:33:09,630
narcissistic tendencies? And

1658
01:33:09,630 --> 01:33:14,100
like that and treating him like

1659
01:33:14,250 --> 01:33:16,500
that's scary. He probably loves

1660
01:33:17,010 --> 01:33:20,070
Oh, yeah. She goes back to

1661
01:33:20,070 --> 01:33:22,800
probably also enjoys the

1662
01:33:22,800 --> 01:33:23,730
to some degree, you know?

1663
01:33:25,080 --> 01:33:27,810
Yeah, it's possible when it

1664
01:33:27,810 --> 01:33:29,910
yeah. Because I mean, this whole

1665
01:33:29,910 --> 01:33:31,800
you're having, like all the

1666
01:33:31,800 --> 01:33:34,170
like, yeah, and all the people

1667
01:33:34,170 --> 01:33:37,170
look, he's such a hero, because

1668
01:33:37,380 --> 01:33:39,990
Well, either way, you're at

1669
01:33:39,990 --> 01:33:41,430
really the center of all of it.

1670
01:33:41,460 --> 01:33:43,110
Exactly. Yeah.

1671
01:33:45,480 --> 01:33:48,810
Why people still exist, and

1672
01:33:48,810 --> 01:33:52,500
they're like, my prediction will

1673
01:33:52,500 --> 01:33:54,270
they're going to say, see, we

1674
01:33:54,270 --> 01:33:56,160
office. It's like, wait a

1675
01:33:56,160 --> 01:33:58,590
said. You said he would be put

1676
01:33:58,650 --> 01:34:01,200
it's gonna be another narrative

1677
01:34:01,200 --> 01:34:02,940
predicted what happened, but

1678
01:34:02,940 --> 01:34:05,760
would queue on on it's just a,

1679
01:34:05,760 --> 01:34:08,700
write books about how crazy that

1680
01:34:09,060 --> 01:34:11,670
Yeah, but I mean, it's still

1681
01:34:11,910 --> 01:34:15,540
segments of Q anon Right? Like

1682
01:34:15,540 --> 01:34:18,180
were like, Okay, I'll trust the

1683
01:34:18,180 --> 01:34:20,790
were the Q anon people that

1684
01:34:20,790 --> 01:34:24,630
Texas to see John F. Kennedy Jr.

1685
01:34:24,630 --> 01:34:25,440
over the country.

1686
01:34:25,560 --> 01:34:29,760
Seriously. It means it's

1687
01:34:29,970 --> 01:34:32,670
the overlap, but you could make

1688
01:34:32,670 --> 01:34:35,100
part of what's happening with

1689
01:34:35,100 --> 01:34:39,180
today. Like, like that they're

1690
01:34:39,180 --> 01:34:42,030
right. No, and nobody else does.

1691
01:34:42,030 --> 01:34:44,460
there too, because the evidence

1692
01:34:44,640 --> 01:34:47,460
They manufacture this reality.

1693
01:34:47,460 --> 01:34:48,720
something that could be part of

1694
01:34:48,720 --> 01:34:53,040
it. Yeah, totally. No, that

1695
01:34:53,760 --> 01:34:58,080
And they, in my experience, they

1696
01:34:58,080 --> 01:35:01,800
victim simultaneously of every

1697
01:35:01,800 --> 01:35:06,420
never the bad guy. Yeah. It's

1698
01:35:06,420 --> 01:35:11,250
know, for someone who is trying

1699
01:35:11,280 --> 01:35:15,690
extremely wounded inferior

1700
01:35:15,690 --> 01:35:19,230
project something that is

1701
01:35:19,230 --> 01:35:24,330
reality. And so, it, it seems

1702
01:35:24,330 --> 01:35:27,330
good. But to people that aren't

1703
01:35:27,330 --> 01:35:31,110
better word, like distorted,

1704
01:35:31,110 --> 01:35:35,100
like, so disconnected from

1705
01:35:35,100 --> 01:35:38,640
talk about themselves, you know,

1706
01:35:39,330 --> 01:35:43,260
yeah, right, because like, they

1707
01:35:43,260 --> 01:35:47,670
false self isn't anchored in

1708
01:35:47,670 --> 01:35:50,250
can go to places that other

1709
01:35:50,250 --> 01:35:54,600
line with reality. And they

1710
01:35:54,600 --> 01:35:57,240
person but like, they'll be, you

1711
01:35:57,240 --> 01:36:00,720
everyone, you know, because, you

1712
01:36:00,720 --> 01:36:04,680
inherently charming, and

1713
01:36:04,710 --> 01:36:07,260
right. That's how they rope

1714
01:36:07,260 --> 01:36:09,480
And they're very good at

1715
01:36:09,480 --> 01:36:12,630
least for a while. Yeah, I think

1716
01:36:12,630 --> 01:36:14,940
maintain it online, to be

1717
01:36:14,940 --> 01:36:17,670
than having to maintain it in

1718
01:36:17,670 --> 01:36:21,270
maintain it in person, I feel

1719
01:36:21,270 --> 01:36:24,180
time. Because online, you don't

1720
01:36:24,180 --> 01:36:26,700
energy to it. So you can

1721
01:36:26,940 --> 01:36:29,790
depending on the frequency,

1722
01:36:29,790 --> 01:36:31,530
you're trying to convince.

1723
01:36:31,740 --> 01:36:34,020
Yeah. And you also don't

1724
01:36:34,020 --> 01:36:36,660
relationship is superficial,

1725
01:36:36,660 --> 01:36:37,410
Exactly.

1726
01:36:37,470 --> 01:36:39,060
You have to Yeah, exactly.

1727
01:36:39,810 --> 01:36:44,700
So we've been going almost a

1728
01:36:45,120 --> 01:36:47,130
want to add that we haven't

1729
01:36:48,330 --> 01:36:50,520
No, I just I, you know, I

1730
01:36:50,520 --> 01:36:53,100
that, you know, I know that this

1731
01:36:53,100 --> 01:36:55,500
very hard for you to talk about.

1732
01:36:55,500 --> 01:36:58,470
know, commend you on that, in

1733
01:36:58,470 --> 01:37:01,110
was asking before is, you know,

1734
01:37:01,110 --> 01:37:03,630
talk about, but I think that

1735
01:37:03,630 --> 01:37:06,750
you're discussing here today,

1736
01:37:06,750 --> 01:37:10,050
stands out to me is not just

1737
01:37:10,050 --> 01:37:13,710
but finding a path away from it.

1738
01:37:13,710 --> 01:37:17,100
this, the government, you know,

1739
01:37:17,100 --> 01:37:19,140
a lot of people that are living

1740
01:37:19,140 --> 01:37:21,300
maybe haven't even recognized

1741
01:37:21,300 --> 01:37:23,970
hopefully, what you're

1742
01:37:23,970 --> 01:37:26,250
it, you know, and then give them

1743
01:37:26,250 --> 01:37:29,130
step away from it and make

1744
01:37:29,160 --> 01:37:31,530
hopefully stop that from

1745
01:37:31,530 --> 01:37:33,690
just, you know, I think it's an

1746
01:37:33,690 --> 01:37:36,030
know, it's hard to talk about,

1747
01:37:36,630 --> 01:37:38,850
Well, you know, I have more

1748
01:37:38,850 --> 01:37:42,810
know, tack it on to the end of

1749
01:37:42,810 --> 01:37:46,650
because, you know, I, I would

1750
01:37:46,680 --> 01:37:50,730
why I care so much about them,

1751
01:37:50,730 --> 01:37:53,550
where it came from, but I didn't

1752
01:37:53,550 --> 01:37:55,830
conversation, because like we've

1753
01:37:55,830 --> 01:37:59,130
think there's a much more

1754
01:37:59,130 --> 01:38:01,920
that. And, you know, I feel like

1755
01:38:01,920 --> 01:38:03,870
people can get something

1756
01:38:04,350 --> 01:38:07,350
Absolutely. I mean, I think,

1757
01:38:07,350 --> 01:38:09,900
is, I think people will listen

1758
01:38:09,900 --> 01:38:12,360
give them the courage to try to

1759
01:38:12,360 --> 01:38:14,100
And I think that's positive, no

1760
01:38:14,940 --> 01:38:17,670
Well, you know, in my case,

1761
01:38:17,670 --> 01:38:19,800
gaslighting, when we talked

1762
01:38:19,800 --> 01:38:24,810
time, it becomes hard to know

1763
01:38:24,810 --> 01:38:27,270
that's actually how it is like

1764
01:38:27,300 --> 01:38:30,270
you're like instilled with this

1765
01:38:30,270 --> 01:38:33,000
like, is it really is me that I

1766
01:38:33,000 --> 01:38:35,760
And you know, really, the only

1767
01:38:36,450 --> 01:38:39,900
take notes of what you

1768
01:38:39,900 --> 01:38:43,440
you refer back to it, that it

1769
01:38:43,440 --> 01:38:46,620
had to do that. And it was

1770
01:38:46,620 --> 01:38:49,530
thing was that I had to

1771
01:38:49,530 --> 01:38:52,440
stories of other people that had

1772
01:38:53,040 --> 01:38:57,060
I had to, I had to read a load

1773
01:38:57,060 --> 01:38:59,760
different people all sorts of

1774
01:38:59,760 --> 01:39:05,370
whole Reddit about this, and

1775
01:39:05,370 --> 01:39:08,070
websites where people talk about

1776
01:39:08,070 --> 01:39:10,110
really helpful and like

1777
01:39:10,110 --> 01:39:13,530
hard, especially when there's

1778
01:39:14,010 --> 01:39:15,030
thing to and,

1779
01:39:15,630 --> 01:39:18,510
yes, we didn't even get into

1780
01:39:18,510 --> 01:39:20,430
that makes it exponentially more

1781
01:39:21,480 --> 01:39:25,980
Yeah, well, you know, I

1782
01:39:25,980 --> 01:39:27,120
into it, I guess. But it

1783
01:39:27,120 --> 01:39:30,810
was. I didn't mean for now.

1784
01:39:30,840 --> 01:39:31,200
go ahead.

1785
01:39:31,830 --> 01:39:35,370
Well, it's all a matter of

1786
01:39:35,370 --> 01:39:38,550
when you're talking about going

1787
01:39:38,550 --> 01:39:43,140
the powers that be or a toxic

1788
01:39:43,140 --> 01:39:46,350
of entanglement are different

1789
01:39:46,350 --> 01:39:48,720
people that like live a certain

1790
01:39:48,720 --> 01:39:52,200
entangled with the powers that

1791
01:39:52,530 --> 01:39:56,640
are very entangled, right, and

1792
01:39:56,640 --> 01:39:59,070
individual case, or the

1793
01:39:59,070 --> 01:40:03,270
get out of it. There's different

1794
01:40:03,300 --> 01:40:06,720
depending on how entangled you

1795
01:40:06,720 --> 01:40:10,740
mean, that sort of defines how

1796
01:40:10,740 --> 01:40:11,910
contact? You know?

1797
01:40:12,270 --> 01:40:15,390
Absolutely, I guess I would

1798
01:40:15,390 --> 01:40:18,330
know, I think that one of the

1799
01:40:18,360 --> 01:40:21,510
story is that, you know, it is

1800
01:40:21,510 --> 01:40:24,270
to make it to the, you know,

1801
01:40:24,270 --> 01:40:28,080
gonna call it, but I do think

1802
01:40:28,110 --> 01:40:30,150
you know, you can make these

1803
01:40:30,150 --> 01:40:33,540
yourself in 1000 different ways,

1804
01:40:33,540 --> 01:40:36,000
recognizing this and growing

1805
01:40:36,000 --> 01:40:38,910
that's, again, that people can

1806
01:40:38,940 --> 01:40:41,490
first step. You know, that's a

1807
01:40:42,180 --> 01:40:44,850
But the thing about No

1808
01:40:44,850 --> 01:40:48,840
time to realize that's the

1809
01:40:48,840 --> 01:40:50,940
what they have to do. And the

1810
01:40:50,940 --> 01:40:54,780
because they think the person

1811
01:40:54,780 --> 01:40:59,250
don't change, no matter what you

1812
01:40:59,250 --> 01:41:02,070
have to change them. And the

1813
01:41:02,070 --> 01:41:06,540
be in the government. Nothing is

1814
01:41:06,750 --> 01:41:10,920
you can vote as hard as you

1815
01:41:10,920 --> 01:41:13,530
change. That's the whole point

1816
01:41:13,560 --> 01:41:17,310
basically become a meme now of

1817
01:41:17,310 --> 01:41:21,060
is about the shadow government

1818
01:41:21,060 --> 01:41:24,060
the elected offices are

1819
01:41:24,060 --> 01:41:29,730
the end of the day, right? So

1820
01:41:29,730 --> 01:41:34,260
change. So you can participate

1821
01:41:34,260 --> 01:41:37,410
the election, and think that

1822
01:41:37,410 --> 01:41:41,670
system from within by voting for

1823
01:41:41,670 --> 01:41:44,700
going to happen, it will still

1824
01:41:44,700 --> 01:41:50,580
same. And the only way to free

1825
01:41:50,670 --> 01:41:53,670
free yourself from the insanity

1826
01:41:53,670 --> 01:41:58,350
on you is to have nothing to do

1827
01:41:58,350 --> 01:42:01,380
Because it's they're not going

1828
01:42:01,380 --> 01:42:06,240
that the system or the person

1829
01:42:06,240 --> 01:42:10,260
disentangling yourself from is

1830
01:42:10,260 --> 01:42:14,130
going to change, no contact

1831
01:42:14,130 --> 01:42:15,870
forward, ultimately.

1832
01:42:16,530 --> 01:42:19,470
Absolutely. Yeah, I think

1833
01:42:19,470 --> 01:42:21,750
here is really the overarching

1834
01:42:21,750 --> 01:42:24,510
that people need to learn from

1835
01:42:24,510 --> 01:42:26,670
things that are affecting their

1836
01:42:28,200 --> 01:42:30,900
Well, you know, like I said

1837
01:42:30,900 --> 01:42:34,110
feeling like I deserve to be

1838
01:42:34,350 --> 01:42:37,170
There's people that will take so

1839
01:42:37,920 --> 01:42:40,530
and not do anything about it.

1840
01:42:40,530 --> 01:42:45,780
what people are enduring right

1841
01:42:45,780 --> 01:42:49,800
doing much about it. It's kind

1842
01:42:49,800 --> 01:42:53,640
think people, not just in the

1843
01:42:53,640 --> 01:42:57,420
conditioned and used to being

1844
01:42:57,450 --> 01:43:00,990
by the government, as like,

1845
01:43:00,990 --> 01:43:04,170
people are just used to it. And

1846
01:43:04,170 --> 01:43:05,130
it really shouldn't be

1847
01:43:06,600 --> 01:43:08,010
scary. Think about?

1848
01:43:08,700 --> 01:43:11,010
Well, I think it's I think

1849
01:43:11,040 --> 01:43:13,740
I mean, if you look at right

1850
01:43:13,740 --> 01:43:17,040
being sent into essentially a

1851
01:43:17,040 --> 01:43:21,510
people in Maui are getting like

1852
01:43:21,510 --> 01:43:26,010
are worth like, you know,

1853
01:43:26,010 --> 01:43:29,700
definitely way more than $700.

1854
01:43:30,510 --> 01:43:32,850
I mean, it's ridiculous. It's

1855
01:43:32,910 --> 01:43:35,130
It that's meant to be and so

1856
01:43:35,130 --> 01:43:38,310
there's, you know, an

1857
01:43:38,310 --> 01:43:41,580
tragedies. Exactly. And there's

1858
01:43:41,580 --> 01:43:46,410
American tragedies, where it's

1859
01:43:46,410 --> 01:43:49,800
or it made the situation worse.

1860
01:43:49,800 --> 01:43:53,310
benefit of people that finance

1861
01:43:53,310 --> 01:43:57,150
of the government itself. It's

1862
01:43:57,150 --> 01:44:00,630
think the difference now is that

1863
01:44:00,630 --> 01:44:04,530
it. But we have to do something

1864
01:44:04,800 --> 01:44:06,990
exactly. Because if you're

1865
01:44:06,990 --> 01:44:11,340
relationship, and you do nothing

1866
01:44:11,340 --> 01:44:15,900
your kids. You know, what good

1867
01:44:15,900 --> 01:44:19,320
same is true of the government

1868
01:44:19,320 --> 01:44:25,530
the powers that be if you're

1869
01:44:25,530 --> 01:44:29,640
system is working to enslave you

1870
01:44:29,640 --> 01:44:34,050
doing nothing about it and going

1871
01:44:34,050 --> 01:44:38,040
to a system that wants to

1872
01:44:38,040 --> 01:44:43,080
control you. Why are you not

1873
01:44:43,080 --> 01:44:44,250
that, you know,

1874
01:44:44,460 --> 01:44:47,730
yeah, exactly. So that's

1875
01:44:47,730 --> 01:44:48,030
step.

1876
01:44:48,780 --> 01:44:51,480
Totally. And, you know, it

1877
01:44:51,480 --> 01:44:54,420
some people here you know,

1878
01:44:54,420 --> 01:44:58,020
like, build a new system, exit

1879
01:44:58,020 --> 01:45:01,320
like, Oh, I'll do that later and

1880
01:45:01,320 --> 01:45:04,230
thing, but you have to take

1881
01:45:04,230 --> 01:45:08,400
abusive relationship, or, you

1882
01:45:08,400 --> 01:45:11,910
like off of the system in some

1883
01:45:11,910 --> 01:45:15,570
like, bam, overnight, right? You

1884
01:45:15,570 --> 01:45:19,500
you have to take step towards,

1885
01:45:19,500 --> 01:45:23,250
it at some point. So, you know,

1886
01:45:23,250 --> 01:45:26,430
context of both, you know, the

1887
01:45:26,430 --> 01:45:28,770
in interpersonal relationships,

1888
01:45:28,770 --> 01:45:30,990
level, and maybe it can help

1889
01:45:30,990 --> 01:45:33,210
looking at it in a different

1890
01:45:33,210 --> 01:45:39,180
hadn't really noticed those

1891
01:45:39,960 --> 01:45:42,540
and I felt like it was helpful

1892
01:45:42,540 --> 01:45:46,560
eye opener, you know, for me,

1893
01:45:46,560 --> 01:45:50,430
lot of this stuff, you know, a

1894
01:45:50,430 --> 01:45:53,280
hopefully it helps somebody

1895
01:45:53,280 --> 01:45:53,850
be awesome.

1896
01:45:55,050 --> 01:45:57,570
I learned plenty today,

1897
01:45:57,570 --> 01:46:00,750
stories and stuff that I looked

1898
01:46:00,750 --> 01:46:02,670
thanks for setting this up. I

1899
01:46:02,670 --> 01:46:03,120
powerful.

1900
01:46:03,779 --> 01:46:06,809
Yeah. Well, thanks, Ryan.

1901
01:46:07,409 --> 01:46:11,099
everybody, thanks so much for

1902
01:46:11,369 --> 01:46:15,419
my deepest appreciation to

1903
01:46:15,419 --> 01:46:18,839
and unlimited hangout. I know,

1904
01:46:18,839 --> 01:46:23,429
put out much content at all, for

1905
01:46:23,429 --> 01:46:29,789
of, you know, the obvious

1906
01:46:29,789 --> 01:46:33,719
just can't describe how grateful

1907
01:46:33,719 --> 01:46:36,899
really difficult time. Because,

1908
01:46:36,899 --> 01:46:39,719
support from my parents, I don't

1909
01:46:39,719 --> 01:46:44,219
father. And, you know, it's

1910
01:46:44,219 --> 01:46:48,059
that have really, you know, kept

1911
01:46:48,179 --> 01:46:52,769
I can't think thank you guys

1912
01:46:52,769 --> 01:46:56,939
enjoyed this podcast, I know,

1913
01:46:57,539 --> 01:47:00,929
you know, things I normally do.

1914
01:47:00,929 --> 01:47:06,329
interested, after, you know, I

1915
01:47:06,449 --> 01:47:09,599
sharing a little bit more about,

1916
01:47:09,599 --> 01:47:13,619
the intro, you know, giving an

1917
01:47:14,039 --> 01:47:17,129
questions and talking about some

1918
01:47:17,129 --> 01:47:20,339
for me to talk about, but

1919
01:47:21,629 --> 01:47:25,649
you know, why I ended up doing

1920
01:47:25,679 --> 01:47:29,789
truth. And, you know, what's

1921
01:47:30,629 --> 01:47:34,469
thank you, Brian. And thanks,

1922
01:47:34,469 --> 01:47:37,259
right, for those of you still

1923
01:47:37,259 --> 01:47:40,379
where I guess I get more

1924
01:47:40,379 --> 01:47:44,429
since I have, you know,

1925
01:47:44,729 --> 01:47:49,319
platform of significance. So,

1926
01:47:49,319 --> 01:47:53,309
focus of the discussion not be

1927
01:47:53,309 --> 01:47:55,199
because I think there's, you

1928
01:47:55,199 --> 01:48:01,259
Ryan, something much bigger to

1929
01:48:01,259 --> 01:48:07,349
like I said earlier, you know,

1930
01:48:07,349 --> 01:48:11,579
feel like I can, you know,

1931
01:48:11,579 --> 01:48:15,209
feel like, I am afraid of two

1932
01:48:15,209 --> 01:48:19,079
personal life, and it's not that

1933
01:48:19,079 --> 01:48:23,129
afraid of them all the time, but

1934
01:48:23,129 --> 01:48:27,179
from sharing my experience, and,

1935
01:48:27,179 --> 01:48:29,639
and interviews when I'm asked

1936
01:48:29,639 --> 01:48:34,799
etc, etc. because I was worried

1937
01:48:34,799 --> 01:48:38,579
you know, the core of that is,

1938
01:48:38,579 --> 01:48:41,609
them. And, as I've said, on, you

1939
01:48:41,609 --> 01:48:47,579
feel like when you have any sort

1940
01:48:47,579 --> 01:48:51,689
know, they have power over you.

1941
01:48:51,689 --> 01:48:56,759
know, part of my, you know,

1942
01:48:56,759 --> 01:49:03,359
factor in my life anymore. To be

1943
01:49:03,809 --> 01:49:06,779
you know, some of the, you know,

1944
01:49:06,779 --> 01:49:10,949
the past, about, you know, why I

1945
01:49:10,949 --> 01:49:15,149
about this stuff. And, you know,

1946
01:49:15,149 --> 01:49:17,879
really been able to answer fully

1947
01:49:17,879 --> 01:49:20,609
know, other reasons that I sort

1948
01:49:20,609 --> 01:49:24,869
in the podcast, so I'm going to

1949
01:49:24,869 --> 01:49:27,509
long, because this episode, I

1950
01:49:27,509 --> 01:49:31,109
on on the long side, but I'll

1951
01:49:31,349 --> 01:49:37,079
the pertinent points across. So

1952
01:49:38,189 --> 01:49:43,409
And my dad's a lawyer, my mom's

1953
01:49:43,409 --> 01:49:48,149
a lot of problems with my mom

1954
01:49:48,149 --> 01:49:52,739
sister who's about 14 months,

1955
01:49:52,739 --> 01:49:57,089
younger than me, so about a year

1956
01:49:57,089 --> 01:50:01,109
she was born, you'll see she had

1957
01:50:01,109 --> 01:50:04,499
problems I had to go to a lot of

1958
01:50:04,499 --> 01:50:07,559
wasn't anything, you know, like

1959
01:50:07,559 --> 01:50:13,319
through recently. And he, and

1960
01:50:13,319 --> 01:50:17,579
an excuse to say that, you know,

1961
01:50:17,579 --> 01:50:20,969
I got, you know, she was

1962
01:50:21,179 --> 01:50:23,669
Civilis, she was overwhelmed by

1963
01:50:23,669 --> 01:50:28,679
doctor's appointments and being

1964
01:50:28,679 --> 01:50:33,509
don't really remember my sister

1965
01:50:33,509 --> 01:50:37,289
definitely a few things here and

1966
01:50:37,289 --> 01:50:41,699
for various reasons, including

1967
01:50:41,699 --> 01:50:43,799
was stressed all the time, I was

1968
01:50:43,799 --> 01:50:49,469
grandparents, I got sent over

1969
01:50:49,469 --> 01:50:53,999
week, for a couple days, until I

1970
01:50:53,999 --> 01:50:58,409
10 or 11. And, you know,

1971
01:50:58,409 --> 01:51:01,289
you know, for for months. And

1972
01:51:01,289 --> 01:51:06,749
lot of ways, I was raised just

1973
01:51:06,749 --> 01:51:12,059
parents. But my mom in general,

1974
01:51:12,059 --> 01:51:18,029
it very clear that she was a

1975
01:51:18,029 --> 01:51:25,469
guess, and, you know, wasn't

1976
01:51:25,469 --> 01:51:29,549
to put it, not really interested

1977
01:51:29,549 --> 01:51:34,499
that I was sort of like the odd

1978
01:51:34,829 --> 01:51:37,979
kind of feeling I had from a

1979
01:51:37,979 --> 01:51:40,709
sometimes it was really nasty.

1980
01:51:40,709 --> 01:51:43,859
car, when I was seven, my mom

1981
01:51:44,069 --> 01:51:48,329
how I would have turned out, she

1982
01:51:48,329 --> 01:51:51,089
had me, you know, like,

1983
01:51:51,089 --> 01:51:56,069
terminated them. My pregnancy,

1984
01:51:56,069 --> 01:51:59,339
out later, and stuff like that

1985
01:51:59,339 --> 01:52:05,579
to a seven year old, but um, it

1986
01:52:05,579 --> 01:52:09,839
the time I was 13 or so. And

1987
01:52:09,839 --> 01:52:14,159
my mom's brother, who, you know,

1988
01:52:14,189 --> 01:52:17,399
thought he was a really lovely

1989
01:52:17,399 --> 01:52:24,269
fun, did nice things for us paid

1990
01:52:24,839 --> 01:52:28,229
you know, I was having problems

1991
01:52:28,229 --> 01:52:31,589
dating a guy that she didn't

1992
01:52:31,589 --> 01:52:33,959
break up with him. And it was

1993
01:52:33,959 --> 01:52:37,379
didn't want to so we were

1994
01:52:37,379 --> 01:52:41,489
And somewhere in there, she

1995
01:52:41,489 --> 01:52:46,259
him for all the problems that

1996
01:52:46,259 --> 01:52:49,079
lied about the nature of bliss

1997
01:52:49,079 --> 01:52:52,439
it was because I was dating a

1998
01:52:52,439 --> 01:52:55,739
because I'd gotten into drugs,

1999
01:52:55,739 --> 01:52:59,849
the time. And little did I know

2000
01:53:00,659 --> 01:53:06,419
drug and alcohol issues. And so

2001
01:53:06,419 --> 01:53:08,669
all of these things. And I don't

2002
01:53:08,669 --> 01:53:11,849
conversation, because I didn't

2003
01:53:11,849 --> 01:53:16,499
shortly after it happened, my

2004
01:53:16,499 --> 01:53:22,709
me and bragged about how my

2005
01:53:22,709 --> 01:53:24,869
don't know, it didn't really

2006
01:53:24,869 --> 01:53:29,579
mean, I remember being just sort

2007
01:53:29,579 --> 01:53:32,459
my mom would make up something

2008
01:53:32,459 --> 01:53:35,369
about making him upset. But I

2009
01:53:35,369 --> 01:53:41,069
lady, she does kind of seem to

2010
01:53:41,069 --> 01:53:44,129
people down and then kicking

2011
01:53:44,129 --> 01:53:48,329
lot of stuff, you know, I

2012
01:53:48,329 --> 01:53:52,049
before this, that, you know, she

2013
01:53:52,169 --> 01:53:55,679
how growing up, she felt like,

2014
01:53:55,679 --> 01:53:59,759
paid more attention to him than

2015
01:53:59,759 --> 01:54:03,059
had been the same way and that

2016
01:54:03,059 --> 01:54:06,179
attention that she'd been denied

2017
01:54:07,349 --> 01:54:11,039
jealousy about him. So I'm sure

2018
01:54:11,039 --> 01:54:14,009
the time. But anyway, this was

2019
01:54:14,009 --> 01:54:17,279
about it. And I thought it was

2020
01:54:17,279 --> 01:54:19,769
would insert this, you know

2021
01:54:19,769 --> 01:54:22,709
happen. And I was like, How does

2022
01:54:22,709 --> 01:54:26,159
uncle because I didn't know

2023
01:54:26,159 --> 01:54:30,089
past at the time either. But I

2024
01:54:30,089 --> 01:54:35,309
the next day and the day after,

2025
01:54:35,309 --> 01:54:40,259
made that phone call to him that

2026
01:54:40,709 --> 01:54:46,949
found dead had apparently killed

2027
01:54:46,949 --> 01:54:53,849
knew that I knew about the phone

2028
01:54:53,849 --> 01:55:00,269
other person besides me that

2029
01:55:00,269 --> 01:55:05,279
know, my mom, pretty clearly to

2030
01:55:07,529 --> 01:55:13,049
terrified, I guess that I would

2031
01:55:13,049 --> 01:55:17,159
they might believe me. And so,

2032
01:55:17,159 --> 01:55:22,769
started this big smear campaign

2033
01:55:22,799 --> 01:55:28,859
the church, my family went to

2034
01:55:28,859 --> 01:55:33,149
attended my school, and, you

2035
01:55:33,149 --> 01:55:37,349
that I, I was crazy, I was a

2036
01:55:37,349 --> 01:55:41,489
problems, I mean, just making up

2037
01:55:41,489 --> 01:55:45,719
whole bunch of stuff that that

2038
01:55:45,719 --> 01:55:51,029
did kind of try and, you know,

2039
01:55:51,029 --> 01:55:55,739
out, because it was really

2040
01:55:55,739 --> 01:55:58,469
did a lot of other things to try

2041
01:55:58,469 --> 01:56:01,529
grounded me all the time, she

2042
01:56:01,529 --> 01:56:03,809
outside of school, like I kind

2043
01:56:03,809 --> 01:56:06,779
ever. And a lot of, but she'd

2044
01:56:06,779 --> 01:56:09,809
out and do stuff. And my dad was

2045
01:56:09,809 --> 01:56:14,849
of times, I was alone, with her

2046
01:56:14,849 --> 01:56:19,259
really crazy stuff, stuff that

2047
01:56:19,289 --> 01:56:23,069
disturbing. She didn't let me

2048
01:56:23,069 --> 01:56:27,209
even took the locks off of the

2049
01:56:27,209 --> 01:56:30,869
that she could like scream at me

2050
01:56:30,869 --> 01:56:34,499
like all of this stuff, that

2051
01:56:34,499 --> 01:56:37,019
in retrospect, but at the time,

2052
01:56:37,019 --> 01:56:43,049
obviously awful. And, you know,

2053
01:56:43,049 --> 01:56:47,909
her mission to make me terrified

2054
01:56:47,909 --> 01:56:55,229
kind of didn't succeed in doing

2055
01:56:55,229 --> 01:56:57,959
wasn't going to tell anybody

2056
01:56:57,959 --> 01:57:00,899
really close with my

2057
01:57:00,899 --> 01:57:05,429
uncle's parents, who, because I

2058
01:57:05,429 --> 01:57:10,259
were after my uncle died. And I

2059
01:57:10,259 --> 01:57:16,259
more suffering. And I did try

2060
01:57:16,259 --> 01:57:22,229
tell my dad at one point. He

2061
01:57:22,229 --> 01:57:25,919
But you know, now he believes

2062
01:57:25,949 --> 01:57:29,879
more recently, because, you

2063
01:57:29,879 --> 01:57:36,959
is at this point. And I told

2064
01:57:36,959 --> 01:57:40,019
that later on became sort of

2065
01:57:40,019 --> 01:57:44,219
grandparents. And, you know, she

2066
01:57:44,219 --> 01:57:47,429
and said, not to tell them not

2067
01:57:47,429 --> 01:57:51,689
grandparents passed away, that

2068
01:57:51,689 --> 01:57:55,199
it. And so, you know, my mom

2069
01:57:55,199 --> 01:57:57,959
that. So she was, you know,

2070
01:57:57,959 --> 01:58:03,809
to make sure I didn't talk. And,

2071
01:58:03,869 --> 01:58:07,139
I've offered to tell her, but

2072
01:58:07,139 --> 01:58:12,239
doesn't, doesn't want to know.

2073
01:58:12,239 --> 01:58:15,899
much been carrying on a really

2074
01:58:15,899 --> 01:58:20,699
long time. My grandparents died

2075
01:58:20,699 --> 01:58:24,869
was 2018. So it's, it's been a

2076
01:58:24,869 --> 01:58:29,369
still sort of been keeping the

2077
01:58:29,399 --> 01:58:33,209
intentionally, just because, you

2078
01:58:33,209 --> 01:58:37,259
talking about it. It was a

2079
01:58:37,259 --> 01:58:44,399
was essentially trying to ruin

2080
01:58:44,399 --> 01:58:46,679
kill myself, like my uncle

2081
01:58:46,679 --> 01:58:50,489
guide me on about that stuff and

2082
01:58:52,229 --> 01:58:56,699
you know, everything about me

2083
01:58:56,699 --> 01:58:59,819
lot of just a lot of really

2084
01:58:59,819 --> 01:59:07,169
really like to look back on and

2085
01:59:07,169 --> 01:59:11,279
of the reasons that I care so

2086
01:59:11,279 --> 01:59:15,539
that, you know, for for several

2087
01:59:15,539 --> 01:59:22,199
believed me about what was going

2088
01:59:22,739 --> 01:59:26,729
that did, I started from all the

2089
01:59:26,729 --> 01:59:33,269
home. I started having like a

2090
01:59:33,269 --> 01:59:37,529
form of epilepsy, but it was

2091
01:59:37,529 --> 01:59:40,919
so I got sent to a neurologist

2092
01:59:41,309 --> 01:59:45,329
specialist lady that was like a

2093
01:59:45,329 --> 01:59:50,069
know, had both of those

2094
01:59:50,099 --> 01:59:54,629
that lady knew what was going

2095
01:59:54,629 --> 01:59:59,609
life to be honest, because my

2096
01:59:59,609 --> 02:00:03,149
the house. So I tried to leave

2097
02:00:03,149 --> 02:00:09,839
know, was complicated. So, you

2098
02:00:09,839 --> 02:00:12,839
tried, I found one place I could

2099
02:00:12,839 --> 02:00:17,579
for a week. And, you know, it

2100
02:00:17,579 --> 02:00:20,759
But anyway, this lady wrote a

2101
02:00:20,759 --> 02:00:27,719
accepted to. And they let me

2102
02:00:27,719 --> 02:00:31,589
aid as an independent, so I was

2103
02:00:31,589 --> 02:00:36,359
college and not have to worry

2104
02:00:36,359 --> 02:00:40,349
parents house indefinitely,

2105
02:00:40,349 --> 02:00:44,879
to college, if I acquiesced to,

2106
02:00:44,879 --> 02:00:52,379
wasn't interested in him

2107
02:00:52,379 --> 02:00:56,249
got off on a tangent there. But

2108
02:00:56,249 --> 02:01:01,289
lot about what I do is because I

2109
02:01:01,289 --> 02:01:06,419
had one adult, believe me, and I

2110
02:01:08,129 --> 02:01:12,569
was like, 18, and my uncle died

2111
02:01:12,569 --> 02:01:18,059
years of being the only person

2112
02:01:18,119 --> 02:01:24,689
right. And, you know, being

2113
02:01:24,689 --> 02:01:27,239
know, obviously, when you're in

2114
02:01:27,239 --> 02:01:31,409
you care about the truth, an

2115
02:01:31,409 --> 02:01:35,549
realize that it's, it's really

2116
02:01:35,549 --> 02:01:39,749
only person that knows that it's

2117
02:01:39,749 --> 02:01:43,559
can be lonely sometimes, you

2118
02:01:43,559 --> 02:01:46,619
something personal, like what

2119
02:01:46,829 --> 02:01:50,549
being too early in realizing

2120
02:01:50,549 --> 02:01:54,599
conspiracy theories are true.

2121
02:01:54,599 --> 02:01:57,419
lot of a lot of my experiences

2122
02:01:57,419 --> 02:02:03,389
didn't trust authority at all,

2123
02:02:03,389 --> 02:02:07,319
easier for me to see, than most

2124
02:02:07,319 --> 02:02:11,339
all the time. And, you know, to

2125
02:02:11,339 --> 02:02:14,309
in power, because, you know, if

2126
02:02:14,309 --> 02:02:18,059
have something to cover up,

2127
02:02:18,059 --> 02:02:21,329
people that are supposed to care

2128
02:02:21,329 --> 02:02:26,549
than anyone else in the world.

2129
02:02:26,549 --> 02:02:29,519
know, realizing that stuff,

2130
02:02:29,519 --> 02:02:35,609
I was in college about 21, or 20

2131
02:02:35,609 --> 02:02:40,379
was really lonely, then, now,

2132
02:02:40,379 --> 02:02:42,839
the same thing for my personal

2133
02:02:42,839 --> 02:02:46,619
family knows that, what my mom

2134
02:02:46,619 --> 02:02:50,879
I left home, it got directed and

2135
02:02:50,879 --> 02:02:59,039
or less run out of people to, to

2136
02:02:59,039 --> 02:03:04,259
know, it can be it can be really

2137
02:03:04,769 --> 02:03:08,039
And, you know, I guess, even

2138
02:03:08,039 --> 02:03:14,219
lonely, as a teenager, you know,

2139
02:03:14,219 --> 02:03:17,339
to that, and always tried to

2140
02:03:17,339 --> 02:03:23,549
happened, that I wasn't that I

2141
02:03:23,549 --> 02:03:29,759
stuff, and that I wasn't crazy

2142
02:03:29,759 --> 02:03:32,729
know, it's not exactly what I

2143
02:03:32,729 --> 02:03:35,489
interviews, when I guess that

2144
02:03:35,489 --> 02:03:38,459
know, I guess from now on, I'll

2145
02:03:38,459 --> 02:03:42,209
this podcast, so I don't have to

2146
02:03:42,209 --> 02:03:48,269
about it. Anyway, so I ended up

2147
02:03:48,269 --> 02:03:51,329
or pretty much broke off ties

2148
02:03:51,329 --> 02:03:56,069
calls from my grandparents who I

2149
02:03:56,069 --> 02:03:59,459
always tried to get me you know,

2150
02:03:59,459 --> 02:04:04,289
convince me you know, she wasn't

2151
02:04:04,289 --> 02:04:07,619
trying to protect them from

2152
02:04:08,579 --> 02:04:11,759
you know, it was hard to really

2153
02:04:11,759 --> 02:04:14,759
for a long time and I really

2154
02:04:14,759 --> 02:04:19,439
them at all until I was I don't

2155
02:04:19,439 --> 02:04:23,399
was born was just, you know, the

2156
02:04:25,980 --> 02:04:29,340
So anyway, I went to college I

2157
02:04:29,340 --> 02:04:34,080
experience there either because

2158
02:04:34,110 --> 02:04:38,790
around my mom really tired of

2159
02:04:38,790 --> 02:04:43,050
because you know her, you know,

2160
02:04:43,050 --> 02:04:46,200
podcast has been talking about

2161
02:04:46,470 --> 02:04:50,430
superficial social, I mean, a

2162
02:04:50,430 --> 02:04:57,000
fake. I heard people comment on

2163
02:04:57,000 --> 02:04:59,970
it was this kind of like larger

2164
02:05:00,000 --> 02:05:03,870
Lydian partying and all of this

2165
02:05:03,870 --> 02:05:07,500
off from that in college and the

2166
02:05:07,500 --> 02:05:10,890
mostly rich kids, and I was

2167
02:05:10,890 --> 02:05:15,330
was on like 100% financial aid

2168
02:05:15,330 --> 02:05:22,560
spend on, you know, whatever.

2169
02:05:22,560 --> 02:05:26,850
kind of a black sheep there, for

2170
02:05:26,850 --> 02:05:29,760
know, didn't take a lot of great

2171
02:05:29,760 --> 02:05:33,090
the academic side of it, had to

2172
02:05:33,090 --> 02:05:37,620
obviously has helped me now. And

2173
02:05:37,620 --> 02:05:41,550
know, write relatively complex

2174
02:05:41,550 --> 02:05:45,000
had to do a lot of that in

2175
02:05:45,000 --> 02:05:49,800
to was really writing intensive,

2176
02:05:49,800 --> 02:05:54,630
just got really fed up with how

2177
02:05:54,660 --> 02:05:57,930
and I sort of blamed a lot of it

2178
02:05:57,930 --> 02:06:01,620
culturally about the US, I just

2179
02:06:01,620 --> 02:06:04,710
people who'd been around really

2180
02:06:04,710 --> 02:06:08,910
everyone in the US was, you

2181
02:06:08,910 --> 02:06:12,270
cared about all this fake stuff.

2182
02:06:12,270 --> 02:06:16,680
there was no, there was nothing

2183
02:06:16,680 --> 02:06:19,530
lot of the time. And, you know,

2184
02:06:19,530 --> 02:06:25,350
started getting really sick. And

2185
02:06:25,350 --> 02:06:28,050
couple doctors, and they were

2186
02:06:28,050 --> 02:06:30,240
nothing wrong with you. And I,

2187
02:06:30,240 --> 02:06:34,590
with me. So, you know, I got to

2188
02:06:34,590 --> 02:06:38,820
miserable. I was like, Well, I

2189
02:06:38,820 --> 02:06:44,490
miserable and probably, you

2190
02:06:44,490 --> 02:06:47,850
for real. And do the thing I

2191
02:06:47,850 --> 02:06:52,920
do. You know, which, because I

2192
02:06:52,950 --> 02:06:57,870
my mom win. Or I, you know, I go

2193
02:06:57,870 --> 02:07:02,880
totally new life. And so that's

2194
02:07:02,880 --> 02:07:07,770
to South America, I sold the

2195
02:07:07,890 --> 02:07:11,970
you know, just pretty much left

2196
02:07:11,970 --> 02:07:15,780
live and work in Peru, I worked

2197
02:07:15,780 --> 02:07:20,850
nowhere. But the closest major

2198
02:07:20,850 --> 02:07:25,440
Machu Picchu is for those that

2199
02:07:27,180 --> 02:07:29,940
you know, I worked there for a

2200
02:07:30,000 --> 02:07:32,910
the issue I was having, which

2201
02:07:32,910 --> 02:07:35,220
But I you know, it took me a

2202
02:07:35,250 --> 02:07:40,200
exactly what was going on. But,

2203
02:07:40,200 --> 02:07:43,020
electricity where I was working,

2204
02:07:43,020 --> 02:07:45,420
but it was turned on once a

2205
02:07:45,420 --> 02:07:49,830
of hard manual labor and stuff.

2206
02:07:49,830 --> 02:07:52,380
pretty good for me. But

2207
02:07:52,380 --> 02:07:56,340
heads with the lady that ran it

2208
02:07:56,340 --> 02:07:59,760
a lot. But you know, she'd been

2209
02:07:59,760 --> 02:08:04,770
there on this mountaintop and

2210
02:08:04,770 --> 02:08:08,430
a drinking problem and it was

2211
02:08:08,430 --> 02:08:11,580
there. And so you know, I ended

2212
02:08:11,580 --> 02:08:15,360
because I didn't have any money

2213
02:08:15,360 --> 02:08:19,140
mean Peruvian currency and

2214
02:08:19,140 --> 02:08:22,740
least it wasn't then as the as

2215
02:08:22,740 --> 02:08:26,610
couldn't afford to go back to

2216
02:08:26,610 --> 02:08:31,980
and food service for a couple of

2217
02:08:31,980 --> 02:08:37,440
friends and life was all right.

2218
02:08:37,440 --> 02:08:41,280
know, everyone was busy and I

2219
02:08:41,280 --> 02:08:44,880
I went for a walk on this, this

2220
02:08:45,090 --> 02:08:52,410
you know, five minutes from my

2221
02:08:52,410 --> 02:08:56,700
been there before and stuff but

2222
02:08:56,700 --> 02:09:02,310
have gotten there alone and I

2223
02:09:02,310 --> 02:09:07,230
Peruvian guy. And it was

2224
02:09:07,230 --> 02:09:11,310
life where I really felt like I

2225
02:09:11,310 --> 02:09:16,560
thankfully I did it. And you

2226
02:09:16,560 --> 02:09:23,160
obviously traumatized from the

2227
02:09:23,160 --> 02:09:26,310
know it, I was still going to be

2228
02:09:26,310 --> 02:09:30,930
Cusco but then the guy that did

2229
02:09:30,930 --> 02:09:36,750
was like walking in the area

2230
02:09:36,750 --> 02:09:39,690
really unsettling to me. And so

2231
02:09:39,690 --> 02:09:43,860
the restaurant I worked at was a

2232
02:09:43,890 --> 02:09:47,190
she likes not like this. Why

2233
02:09:47,190 --> 02:09:53,490
Chile a chance. And you know I

2234
02:09:53,490 --> 02:09:56,700
his friends from college that

2235
02:09:56,700 --> 02:10:00,300
management stuff in the past and

2236
02:10:00,300 --> 02:10:04,500
said maybe he can help you find

2237
02:10:04,500 --> 02:10:09,090
that's how I ended up in Chile.

2238
02:10:09,090 --> 02:10:12,030
were rough for the first two

2239
02:10:12,030 --> 02:10:14,940
though Chile was definitely a

2240
02:10:14,940 --> 02:10:18,690
than Peru. And once I started

2241
02:10:18,690 --> 02:10:22,110
make enough income to live off

2242
02:10:22,110 --> 02:10:24,930
profession about two years after

2243
02:10:24,930 --> 02:10:30,030
like, the last half of 2016. And

2244
02:10:30,030 --> 02:10:34,830
daughter was born. And during my

2245
02:10:34,830 --> 02:10:38,670
with this new agey religion that

2246
02:10:38,670 --> 02:10:42,570
part of, and things for us got

2247
02:10:42,930 --> 02:10:46,050
and also progressively more

2248
02:10:46,050 --> 02:10:49,710
pulling way too much weight in

2249
02:10:50,490 --> 02:10:53,610
You know, I was doing pretty

2250
02:10:53,610 --> 02:10:57,510
also the breadwinner, winter and

2251
02:10:57,510 --> 02:11:02,100
our relationship and really, no

2252
02:11:02,100 --> 02:11:04,710
things effectively. And on top

2253
02:11:04,710 --> 02:11:07,770
spiritual differences made it

2254
02:11:07,770 --> 02:11:11,640
relationship. And so I ended it

2255
02:11:11,640 --> 02:11:15,780
turned two, and a few months

2256
02:11:15,780 --> 02:11:19,020
turned upside down with COVID.

2257
02:11:19,020 --> 02:11:22,350
abruptly and not long after

2258
02:11:22,350 --> 02:11:25,830
lockdowns in Chile started which

2259
02:11:26,610 --> 02:11:29,430
than the lockdowns implemented

2260
02:11:29,430 --> 02:11:33,270
I've talked about this on, you

2261
02:11:33,270 --> 02:11:39,270
previous podcast. So I was

2262
02:11:39,270 --> 02:11:44,760
feeling, kind of overwhelmed

2263
02:11:44,760 --> 02:11:49,470
COVID happening, work was even

2264
02:11:49,470 --> 02:11:52,770
know, there was so much going

2265
02:11:52,770 --> 02:11:57,030
research so much and urgently

2266
02:11:57,030 --> 02:12:00,540
was happening globally, every

2267
02:12:00,540 --> 02:12:03,090
scramble to figure out, like,

2268
02:12:03,090 --> 02:12:06,450
happen next, you know, and so

2269
02:12:06,450 --> 02:12:09,690
top of that, I had to juggle,

2270
02:12:09,690 --> 02:12:15,300
produce all this stuff with zero

2271
02:12:16,200 --> 02:12:19,740
trying to write why a spunky two

2272
02:12:19,740 --> 02:12:23,580
me, and, you know, we can't go

2273
02:12:23,670 --> 02:12:28,320
locked down. So after about six

2274
02:12:28,320 --> 02:12:30,930
talking to the guy who was

2275
02:12:30,930 --> 02:12:35,940
podcast, who is my son's father.

2276
02:12:35,940 --> 02:12:39,840
questions about who, you know,

2277
02:12:40,230 --> 02:12:43,470
framed himself as being the

2278
02:12:43,470 --> 02:12:47,160
I lacked at the time, and really

2279
02:12:47,160 --> 02:12:49,710
daughter's father, you know,

2280
02:12:49,710 --> 02:12:53,070
him, talking about how great he

2281
02:12:53,070 --> 02:12:57,330
offer exactly the relief that

2282
02:12:57,360 --> 02:13:00,870
I was really desperate for. And

2283
02:13:00,870 --> 02:13:04,830
hadn't been so worn down and

2284
02:13:04,830 --> 02:13:08,250
have thought a lot more about

2285
02:13:08,250 --> 02:13:12,300
him down to visit us in Chile,

2286
02:13:12,300 --> 02:13:16,350
even done it at all. But I was

2287
02:13:16,770 --> 02:13:19,590
can find it a lot in him. I told

2288
02:13:19,590 --> 02:13:21,870
parents how all that had

2289
02:13:21,870 --> 02:13:25,860
happened, you know, after I left

2290
02:13:25,860 --> 02:13:29,640
really empathetic, really cared,

2291
02:13:29,640 --> 02:13:33,150
wonderful, and that we shared

2292
02:13:33,150 --> 02:13:37,410
was this, you know, element of

2293
02:13:37,410 --> 02:13:43,080
so he came down at the end of

2294
02:13:43,080 --> 02:13:45,480
time he was here, it was really

2295
02:13:45,480 --> 02:13:47,640
daughter, because, you know, we

2296
02:13:48,930 --> 02:13:52,380
And, but during this time to you

2297
02:13:52,380 --> 02:13:55,860
about how I had to get away from

2298
02:13:55,860 --> 02:13:58,860
things were only going to get

2299
02:13:58,860 --> 02:14:02,670
awful. Everything about it was

2300
02:14:02,670 --> 02:14:08,220
feel really afraid to stay over

2301
02:14:08,220 --> 02:14:11,340
his country, the United Kingdom,

2302
02:14:11,340 --> 02:14:14,610
bad as they were in Chile, that

2303
02:14:14,610 --> 02:14:18,150
over there, things were still

2304
02:14:19,260 --> 02:14:22,950
And, you know, when I agreed to

2305
02:14:22,950 --> 02:14:26,280
told me things like Oh, I feel

2306
02:14:26,280 --> 02:14:29,340
since he essentially made it

2307
02:14:29,340 --> 02:14:32,190
I stayed in Chile, it was

2308
02:14:32,190 --> 02:14:38,160
me and my daughter. And you

2309
02:14:38,160 --> 02:14:42,600
home and was due to fly out of

2310
02:14:42,600 --> 02:14:45,930
capital in about nine hours

2311
02:14:45,930 --> 02:14:49,170
been living. That's when

2312
02:14:49,170 --> 02:14:53,610
And of course it's right when I

2313
02:14:53,610 --> 02:14:58,740
independence in my life. You

2314
02:14:58,740 --> 02:15:02,580
night we were staying in an

2315
02:15:02,580 --> 02:15:05,160
something, I can't really

2316
02:15:05,160 --> 02:15:09,090
I know, I was basically angling

2317
02:15:09,090 --> 02:15:12,840
emotional support from him.

2318
02:15:12,840 --> 02:15:16,980
know, jittery and insecure about

2319
02:15:16,980 --> 02:15:20,850
for, you know, an indefinite

2320
02:15:20,850 --> 02:15:25,020
know, with my kid until and, you

2321
02:15:25,050 --> 02:15:29,400
I basically just wanted a hug,

2322
02:15:29,430 --> 02:15:33,540
you know, elicited the complete

2323
02:15:33,540 --> 02:15:38,040
been hoping for, and instead, I

2324
02:15:38,040 --> 02:15:42,990
aggression, verbal abuse, just

2325
02:15:42,990 --> 02:15:46,350
I was, and just telling me, you

2326
02:15:46,350 --> 02:15:50,190
at me about how I'm awful, you

2327
02:15:50,190 --> 02:15:54,360
it, I was really taken aback

2328
02:15:54,360 --> 02:15:57,600
know, provoked this response,

2329
02:15:57,600 --> 02:16:02,970
convince him to stop. You know,

2330
02:16:02,970 --> 02:16:08,070
anything to get, you know,

2331
02:16:08,070 --> 02:16:11,430
you can, we can talk about

2332
02:16:11,430 --> 02:16:15,720
more calm, and like, let's not

2333
02:16:15,720 --> 02:16:21,720
and all this stuff, and none of

2334
02:16:21,720 --> 02:16:24,090
know, I got really upset,

2335
02:16:24,090 --> 02:16:27,210
for like, a really long time.

2336
02:16:27,210 --> 02:16:30,390
felt really vulnerable to and,

2337
02:16:30,390 --> 02:16:34,020
couldn't even talk afterwards, I

2338
02:16:34,020 --> 02:16:37,650
afterwards, you know, he gave me

2339
02:16:37,650 --> 02:16:42,360
apologize, and then started

2340
02:16:42,360 --> 02:16:45,600
outburst. And, you know, I tried

2341
02:16:45,600 --> 02:16:49,830
this and some similar outbursts,

2342
02:16:49,830 --> 02:16:53,310
that happened during the rest of

2343
02:16:53,310 --> 02:16:56,940
being stressed by traveling, or

2344
02:16:56,940 --> 02:17:00,510
about being responsible for, you

2345
02:17:00,510 --> 02:17:03,270
a bachelor for so long or

2346
02:17:03,270 --> 02:17:06,990
know, over time, it became

2347
02:17:06,990 --> 02:17:11,460
the case. So, you know, once we

2348
02:17:11,460 --> 02:17:13,860
true that I could take my

2349
02:17:14,310 --> 02:17:19,380
pretty much everything else was

2350
02:17:19,380 --> 02:17:23,370
was not as accommodating for us,

2351
02:17:23,370 --> 02:17:26,730
also, you know, pretty much

2352
02:17:26,730 --> 02:17:30,330
anywhere, because he didn't

2353
02:17:30,330 --> 02:17:34,830
papers to show to justify

2354
02:17:34,830 --> 02:17:38,010
Chile for a long time. So I

2355
02:17:38,010 --> 02:17:41,250
know, like, even though the

2356
02:17:41,430 --> 02:17:44,310
you know, they weren't as bad as

2357
02:17:44,310 --> 02:17:48,600
still really unpleasant, and I

2358
02:17:48,600 --> 02:17:53,100
stay long term. And, you know,

2359
02:17:53,310 --> 02:17:56,790
And it was pretty clear that he

2360
02:17:56,790 --> 02:17:59,880
by the fact that I, I didn't

2361
02:17:59,880 --> 02:18:03,330
more. And, you know, during

2362
02:18:03,330 --> 02:18:05,940
got there, I also learned that

2363
02:18:05,940 --> 02:18:10,170
work in the UK. So I started

2364
02:18:10,170 --> 02:18:13,350
bank account, which he would

2365
02:18:13,350 --> 02:18:17,340
there. And that was the start of

2366
02:18:17,340 --> 02:18:20,130
slope that eventually led me to

2367
02:18:20,130 --> 02:18:25,770
money. You know, what it was

2368
02:18:25,770 --> 02:18:29,640
I couldn't buy anything without

2369
02:18:29,640 --> 02:18:34,530
couple of weeks after we

2370
02:18:34,530 --> 02:18:38,460
from that point on, things

2371
02:18:38,460 --> 02:18:43,170
downhill. And some months later,

2372
02:18:43,170 --> 02:18:46,650
about if I hadn't gotten

2373
02:18:46,650 --> 02:18:50,220
afraid that I would have just

2374
02:18:50,220 --> 02:18:55,440
know, there's a part of me that

2375
02:18:55,440 --> 02:19:00,060
have a baby to keep me in the

2376
02:19:00,060 --> 02:19:04,410
detail how hard it had been, for

2377
02:19:04,440 --> 02:19:08,760
to juggle one kid on my own as a

2378
02:19:08,760 --> 02:19:12,720
guess he might have known, I

2379
02:19:12,720 --> 02:19:17,190
to leave if I meant having to,

2380
02:19:17,190 --> 02:19:22,050
know for sure, but, you know,

2381
02:19:22,050 --> 02:19:27,690
thought about. So my, my second

2382
02:19:27,690 --> 02:19:30,720
difficult compared to my first

2383
02:19:30,720 --> 02:19:33,090
of months, it was a lot of

2384
02:19:33,090 --> 02:19:37,890
time. I had really low energy

2385
02:19:37,890 --> 02:19:41,970
and keep working. And a big part

2386
02:19:41,970 --> 02:19:45,630
just so much more expensive than

2387
02:19:45,630 --> 02:19:48,990
afford not to work and, you

2388
02:19:48,990 --> 02:19:54,600
contributed, contributing very

2389
02:19:54,630 --> 02:19:58,230
you know, it's my income anyway.

2390
02:19:58,230 --> 02:20:02,760
all of our shared expenses and

2391
02:20:02,760 --> 02:20:05,550
because I didn't have access to

2392
02:20:05,550 --> 02:20:08,400
know, he treated any attempt on

2393
02:20:08,400 --> 02:20:12,600
statements is me not trusting

2394
02:20:12,630 --> 02:20:17,940
argument that, you know, being

2395
02:20:17,940 --> 02:20:22,590
and all that I didn't really

2396
02:20:22,590 --> 02:20:24,900
know, it was during this time

2397
02:20:24,900 --> 02:20:29,220
of abuse that started to emerge,

2398
02:20:29,250 --> 02:20:33,810
emotionally disconnected from

2399
02:20:33,810 --> 02:20:37,380
angry and be really aggressive

2400
02:20:37,380 --> 02:20:42,360
me deescalate the situation or

2401
02:20:42,360 --> 02:20:46,110
he would keep going and pushing

2402
02:20:46,110 --> 02:20:49,710
would break down, at which

2403
02:20:49,710 --> 02:20:53,460
like he was empathetic again,

2404
02:20:53,460 --> 02:20:57,210
good it was that I was now

2405
02:20:57,210 --> 02:21:01,890
and that I was connecting again.

2406
02:21:01,890 --> 02:21:05,460
wasn't disconnected, I was just

2407
02:21:05,460 --> 02:21:09,180
pregnancy, a poorly supported by

2408
02:21:09,180 --> 02:21:13,740
doing all the domestic stuff

2409
02:21:13,740 --> 02:21:16,440
and all that stuff, you know,

2410
02:21:16,440 --> 02:21:19,080
without a support network

2411
02:21:19,470 --> 02:21:22,200
you know, just arrived to a

2412
02:21:22,200 --> 02:21:27,690
only person I knew. So you know,

2413
02:21:27,690 --> 02:21:30,300
trying to push me to react so

2414
02:21:30,300 --> 02:21:35,340
down, he'd not only reward me

2415
02:21:35,340 --> 02:21:39,030
which he would normally

2416
02:21:39,030 --> 02:21:44,250
me that, you know, me crying,

2417
02:21:44,250 --> 02:21:48,720
was a sign that I had severe

2418
02:21:48,720 --> 02:21:52,890
mentally ill. And I needed to

2419
02:21:52,890 --> 02:21:57,450
him more, and do things the way

2420
02:21:57,450 --> 02:22:00,150
tried to give me the impression

2421
02:22:00,150 --> 02:22:05,430
me. And, you know, I was already

2422
02:22:05,430 --> 02:22:10,230
there. So, you know, I didn't

2423
02:22:10,230 --> 02:22:16,140
me anyway. And it was clear to

2424
02:22:16,140 --> 02:22:20,460
things that would set him off or

2425
02:22:20,460 --> 02:22:23,310
most of the time, and it left me

2426
02:22:23,310 --> 02:22:28,020
quickly. So one of the biggest

2427
02:22:28,020 --> 02:22:33,750
night where I had tried to turn

2428
02:22:33,750 --> 02:22:37,800
really loud snoring, he had a

2429
02:22:37,800 --> 02:22:41,130
I'd known people in college and

2430
02:22:41,130 --> 02:22:43,620
that it used like white noise

2431
02:22:43,620 --> 02:22:47,580
block out noise like in their

2432
02:22:47,580 --> 02:22:50,760
thought it was like a normal

2433
02:22:50,760 --> 02:22:53,280
minutes, he woke up, he was

2434
02:22:53,280 --> 02:22:56,550
accusing me of trying to hurt

2435
02:22:56,550 --> 02:22:59,970
And he went on like this, not

2436
02:23:00,090 --> 02:23:04,920
for several days. And he even

2437
02:23:05,160 --> 02:23:09,180
trying to use CIA MK Ultra

2438
02:23:10,680 --> 02:23:14,970
the fact that I could have not

2439
02:23:14,970 --> 02:23:20,460
him and how awful it was to turn

2440
02:23:20,460 --> 02:23:24,150
snoring. And I, you know, I

2441
02:23:24,150 --> 02:23:27,660
outs, you know, they happened in

2442
02:23:27,660 --> 02:23:31,710
three year old daughter,

2443
02:23:31,710 --> 02:23:34,470
white noise thing, he threatened

2444
02:23:34,470 --> 02:23:37,710
trying to kill him. And like all

2445
02:23:37,710 --> 02:23:40,560
would never say in front of a

2446
02:23:40,560 --> 02:23:45,660
young, and, you know, after

2447
02:23:45,840 --> 02:23:48,510
there would be these explosions

2448
02:23:48,510 --> 02:23:52,230
lols, you know, but the whole

2449
02:23:52,230 --> 02:23:56,820
pregnant and no longer in

2450
02:23:56,820 --> 02:24:00,930
me feeling trapped. And, you

2451
02:24:00,930 --> 02:24:04,590
quickly. And that was really

2452
02:24:04,590 --> 02:24:07,950
sensation living at my parents

2453
02:24:07,950 --> 02:24:12,330
mom, except that this time, my

2454
02:24:12,330 --> 02:24:16,290
too. And, you know, by this

2455
02:24:16,290 --> 02:24:18,840
positive aspects of the

2456
02:24:18,840 --> 02:24:23,280
at the beginning, had had

2457
02:24:23,280 --> 02:24:26,400
in conversations in

2458
02:24:26,400 --> 02:24:30,060
constantly just talk about

2459
02:24:30,060 --> 02:24:33,660
what he wanted to do what he

2460
02:24:33,660 --> 02:24:37,830
tried to contribute to the

2461
02:24:37,830 --> 02:24:41,910
me like with disdain, like I was

2462
02:24:41,910 --> 02:24:46,020
in his conversation or I was

2463
02:24:46,020 --> 02:24:49,020
you know, I was telling him that

2464
02:24:49,020 --> 02:24:52,770
know, was stroking his ego so it

2465
02:24:52,770 --> 02:24:56,910
know, belittle like, like

2466
02:24:56,910 --> 02:25:01,260
also during this time I found

2467
02:25:01,260 --> 02:25:05,400
said about the ease of getting

2468
02:25:05,400 --> 02:25:09,000
false. And so of course, I

2469
02:25:09,000 --> 02:25:12,600
account and regain my

2470
02:25:12,600 --> 02:25:15,930
And because he had not told me

2471
02:25:15,930 --> 02:25:18,840
when I came into the country by

2472
02:25:18,870 --> 02:25:22,200
went to look into it myself that

2473
02:25:22,200 --> 02:25:25,620
able to get residency was if I

2474
02:25:25,620 --> 02:25:29,790
spousal visa. And he had, of

2475
02:25:29,790 --> 02:25:32,700
well. But given how things had

2476
02:25:33,540 --> 02:25:39,600
did not want that. So about a

2477
02:25:39,600 --> 02:25:43,110
up leaving the UK, and I was

2478
02:25:43,110 --> 02:25:46,920
in total, we were traveling to

2479
02:25:46,920 --> 02:25:50,760
stressed during the trip and had

2480
02:25:50,760 --> 02:25:55,170
huge explosion in our hotel room

2481
02:25:55,170 --> 02:25:58,500
And it was just awful. I mean,

2482
02:25:58,500 --> 02:26:02,430
hours, if not more being

2483
02:26:03,300 --> 02:26:08,250
took my daughter and went down

2484
02:26:08,250 --> 02:26:10,770
I think he stormed out of the

2485
02:26:10,770 --> 02:26:15,180
stay there for him to come back.

2486
02:26:15,180 --> 02:26:18,570
room for me and my daughter. So

2487
02:26:18,570 --> 02:26:22,740
I didn't know how he'd be if he

2488
02:26:22,890 --> 02:26:27,780
you know, unsettled, obviously.

2489
02:26:27,780 --> 02:26:31,890
were staying in a separate room,

2490
02:26:32,400 --> 02:26:35,520
was leaving, he was going to go

2491
02:26:35,520 --> 02:26:40,530
London where we were living. And

2492
02:26:40,530 --> 02:26:43,470
daughter all alone in London

2493
02:26:43,470 --> 02:26:47,580
on a hotel room trying to get

2494
02:26:47,580 --> 02:26:53,760
deescalate stuff. And, you know,

2495
02:26:53,760 --> 02:26:56,400
anyone in London or the UK. I

2496
02:26:56,820 --> 02:27:02,370
through work, desperately trying

2497
02:27:02,370 --> 02:27:06,660
this really messed up situation.

2498
02:27:06,660 --> 02:27:10,950
six, and he texted me saying he

2499
02:27:10,950 --> 02:27:15,120
room we were in. And now than we

2500
02:27:15,120 --> 02:27:18,390
to Cardiff and canceled all the

2501
02:27:18,390 --> 02:27:21,930
London in the first place. And

2502
02:27:22,200 --> 02:27:26,100
he was able to recognize he had

2503
02:27:26,100 --> 02:27:29,550
go to therapy. But then when

2504
02:27:29,550 --> 02:27:33,060
want to find a therapist. It's

2505
02:27:33,060 --> 02:27:35,610
tried to set him up with one

2506
02:27:35,940 --> 02:27:39,030
And he said the first session

2507
02:27:39,030 --> 02:27:42,630
great. And then after that, you

2508
02:27:42,630 --> 02:27:45,630
to be crazy and was doing all

2509
02:27:45,630 --> 02:27:48,540
to go back. And you know, it was

2510
02:27:48,540 --> 02:27:51,660
weird, but I've never worked

2511
02:27:51,660 --> 02:27:55,260
know, trying to find somebody to

2512
02:27:55,260 --> 02:27:58,470
to do it himself, I guess. And,

2513
02:27:58,470 --> 02:28:01,020
out to her and asked if she had

2514
02:28:01,020 --> 02:28:05,220
And she said she hadn't. But you

2515
02:28:05,220 --> 02:28:09,480
just know that he decided I had

2516
02:28:09,480 --> 02:28:12,780
recommended her. And every time

2517
02:28:12,780 --> 02:28:16,830
should consider therapy again,

2518
02:28:16,830 --> 02:28:23,130
up as a way to shut down the

2519
02:28:23,130 --> 02:28:26,550
event and a few other blow ups

2520
02:28:26,550 --> 02:28:29,940
that one, I started having

2521
02:28:29,940 --> 02:28:33,510
peer group at her daycare. She

2522
02:28:33,510 --> 02:28:37,410
her age. So other three to four

2523
02:28:37,410 --> 02:28:41,730
her age and this girl's brother,

2524
02:28:41,730 --> 02:28:44,670
pants of other kids and like

2525
02:28:44,730 --> 02:28:48,900
underwear and they called it the

2526
02:28:48,900 --> 02:28:51,180
didn't really like that my

2527
02:28:51,180 --> 02:28:55,470
game at home with me. And there

2528
02:28:56,100 --> 02:28:58,830
That I had noticed, you know, my

2529
02:28:59,100 --> 02:29:01,320
you know, from the school and I

2530
02:29:01,320 --> 02:29:06,150
I'm gonna try and put her

2531
02:29:06,150 --> 02:29:09,210
this other school closer to

2532
02:29:09,210 --> 02:29:11,190
some neighbors who had their

2533
02:29:11,190 --> 02:29:14,220
really good. So it's just kind

2534
02:29:15,420 --> 02:29:19,410
he said he would do that for me,

2535
02:29:19,410 --> 02:29:22,500
and he would enroll her there.

2536
02:29:23,100 --> 02:29:26,400
he said, I asked, you know, so

2537
02:29:26,400 --> 02:29:30,120
heard from them. And he said he

2538
02:29:30,120 --> 02:29:33,330
first email he'd sent. So I

2539
02:29:33,330 --> 02:29:36,210
going to do it, if he could just

2540
02:29:36,210 --> 02:29:40,170
like less than five blocks away

2541
02:29:40,170 --> 02:29:43,710
so I could get my daughter back

2542
02:29:43,710 --> 02:29:46,590
paying for sitters hourly, it's

2543
02:29:46,590 --> 02:29:50,970
know. So anyway, his response to

2544
02:29:50,970 --> 02:29:55,050
an email that they wouldn't

2545
02:29:55,050 --> 02:29:59,700
that that email he had sent said

2546
02:29:59,700 --> 02:30:03,780
Care because my daughter had had

2547
02:30:03,780 --> 02:30:09,240
to a, quote, sexual situation.

2548
02:30:09,240 --> 02:30:13,530
immediately to that. But they

2549
02:30:13,530 --> 02:30:16,860
essentially told them that the

2550
02:30:17,100 --> 02:30:21,510
allowed but had instigated and

2551
02:30:21,540 --> 02:30:24,120
touch each other's private

2552
02:30:24,120 --> 02:30:28,350
nappy game. And so the new

2553
02:30:28,350 --> 02:30:33,150
police and social services and a

2554
02:30:33,150 --> 02:30:37,740
filed and investigation was

2555
02:30:37,740 --> 02:30:42,120
based on a warps narrative that

2556
02:30:42,120 --> 02:30:44,700
originally prompted me to take

2557
02:30:44,700 --> 02:30:47,730
because as far as what my

2558
02:30:47,730 --> 02:30:51,600
had observed, this was two kids

2559
02:30:52,500 --> 02:30:56,400
without any sort of sanctioning

2560
02:30:56,730 --> 02:31:00,030
instead of owning up to the fact

2561
02:31:00,060 --> 02:31:03,510
exaggerated the situation, he

2562
02:31:03,510 --> 02:31:07,890
decided to accuse my daughter's

2563
02:31:07,890 --> 02:31:11,190
and grooming enablers without

2564
02:31:11,190 --> 02:31:14,370
totally lost it when I didn't

2565
02:31:14,370 --> 02:31:18,000
when we didn't have evidence for

2566
02:31:18,000 --> 02:31:22,920
email. Because, you know, courts

2567
02:31:22,920 --> 02:31:27,480
blogging or publishing stuff

2568
02:31:27,480 --> 02:31:31,500
know, so to make what he felt he

2569
02:31:32,130 --> 02:31:35,190
my daughter after several

2570
02:31:35,190 --> 02:31:39,360
camera, a version of events that

2571
02:31:39,360 --> 02:31:43,260
narrative. And he said that I

2572
02:31:43,290 --> 02:31:46,650
you know, was a pedo enabler,

2573
02:31:46,650 --> 02:31:50,670
daughter from paedos. And, you

2574
02:31:50,670 --> 02:31:55,290
was already pretty worn down by

2575
02:31:55,290 --> 02:31:58,140
Social Services launched an

2576
02:31:58,140 --> 02:32:01,920
previous daycare, and they came

2577
02:32:01,920 --> 02:32:06,900
by our house unexpectedly one

2578
02:32:06,900 --> 02:32:10,080
and then to my daughter, one on

2579
02:32:10,080 --> 02:32:14,070
me with my daughter. And when I

2580
02:32:14,070 --> 02:32:16,800
wanted me to say to them,

2581
02:32:16,800 --> 02:32:20,280
listening outside the room, we

2582
02:32:20,280 --> 02:32:24,210
exploded at them and me, and he

2583
02:32:24,210 --> 02:32:26,880
them out of the house. And a day

2584
02:32:26,880 --> 02:32:30,540
services people who had been

2585
02:32:30,540 --> 02:32:33,600
because she asked for it when

2586
02:32:33,600 --> 02:32:36,840
house. And she asked to speak to

2587
02:32:36,840 --> 02:32:40,170
girl had noticed that my three

2588
02:32:40,170 --> 02:32:46,170
and he had his meltdown leading

2589
02:32:46,170 --> 02:32:52,080
this happened regularly in front

2590
02:32:52,080 --> 02:32:55,560
lady afterwards, because, you

2591
02:32:55,560 --> 02:32:58,620
just completely trapped. But I

2592
02:32:58,620 --> 02:33:02,160
had been created over my

2593
02:33:03,480 --> 02:33:06,570
was just spiraling out of

2594
02:33:06,570 --> 02:33:10,380
turn into major legal trouble

2595
02:33:10,380 --> 02:33:14,040
worse, and all the complete

2596
02:33:14,040 --> 02:33:18,750
accountability, or have like,

2597
02:33:18,750 --> 02:33:22,200
at all, which he you know, shown

2598
02:33:22,200 --> 02:33:26,010
just made it clear that this was

2599
02:33:26,250 --> 02:33:30,030
And, you know, I had to get out

2600
02:33:30,030 --> 02:33:34,290
mention the fact that I was just

2601
02:33:34,290 --> 02:33:37,530
really started to become scared

2602
02:33:37,530 --> 02:33:40,680
because it's not like it got any

2603
02:33:40,680 --> 02:33:44,940
worse and more aggressive and

2604
02:33:45,510 --> 02:33:49,950
And it was just, I'd never been

2605
02:33:49,950 --> 02:33:53,190
relationship before. And so to

2606
02:33:53,190 --> 02:33:57,300
services, ended up coming by a

2607
02:33:57,300 --> 02:34:00,420
our relationship more and reach

2608
02:34:00,840 --> 02:34:04,230
leave him in the UK, by

2609
02:34:04,230 --> 02:34:08,010
there, I'd have to marry him.

2610
02:34:08,010 --> 02:34:11,520
daughter and my son once he was

2611
02:34:11,520 --> 02:34:15,390
custody because of my ex's

2612
02:34:15,480 --> 02:34:19,050
unacceptable outcome. So I

2613
02:34:19,050 --> 02:34:21,780
problem was that I didn't have

2614
02:34:22,290 --> 02:34:24,570
because I would have to go

2615
02:34:24,570 --> 02:34:27,270
And then he would know I was

2616
02:34:27,270 --> 02:34:30,540
tell him I was going to leave

2617
02:34:30,540 --> 02:34:33,360
had done to try and keep me

2618
02:34:33,360 --> 02:34:37,710
a couple of friends intervene. I

2619
02:34:37,710 --> 02:34:40,170
told my ex I had to go back to

2620
02:34:40,170 --> 02:34:43,050
about the social services stuff,

2621
02:34:43,050 --> 02:34:46,920
options. And he said he was

2622
02:34:46,920 --> 02:34:50,160
and that I could come back when

2623
02:34:50,160 --> 02:34:55,290
so he acquiesced and I was just,

2624
02:34:55,290 --> 02:34:57,900
confrontation of him and me

2625
02:34:57,900 --> 02:35:01,140
leaving because I wanted To him

2626
02:35:01,140 --> 02:35:05,610
anymore. I just felt like I was

2627
02:35:05,610 --> 02:35:09,990
time. So in in late August of

2628
02:35:09,990 --> 02:35:13,680
after all of this, and my son

2629
02:35:13,680 --> 02:35:17,340
at the end of December. And in

2630
02:35:17,340 --> 02:35:20,130
my ex from a safe distance that

2631
02:35:20,130 --> 02:35:25,380
him, and I, you know, how I

2632
02:35:25,380 --> 02:35:30,450
over there. But shortly before

2633
02:35:30,450 --> 02:35:33,090
that he knew that he had been

2634
02:35:33,090 --> 02:35:38,550
anxiety, that his decade long

2635
02:35:38,550 --> 02:35:42,300
problem with another medication

2636
02:35:42,300 --> 02:35:45,420
And that if he sorted it out,

2637
02:35:45,420 --> 02:35:47,910
everything would be the way it

2638
02:35:47,910 --> 02:35:52,560
it was the meds, right. And

2639
02:35:52,560 --> 02:35:56,250
with a newborn baby into four

2640
02:35:56,250 --> 02:36:00,660
rebuild my life and Chile and

2641
02:36:00,660 --> 02:36:04,890
know, my book that came out last

2642
02:36:04,890 --> 02:36:09,570
and received him here again, and

2643
02:36:09,570 --> 02:36:12,000
to leave here, you know, I

2644
02:36:12,000 --> 02:36:17,670
independence again, on and, you

2645
02:36:17,670 --> 02:36:21,690
spent in the UK, it was just a

2646
02:36:22,200 --> 02:36:25,530
He was constantly trying to

2647
02:36:25,530 --> 02:36:29,280
Chile again. And all I was

2648
02:36:29,310 --> 02:36:33,030
a move right now, because I just

2649
02:36:33,030 --> 02:36:35,940
deadline, you know, wait till

2650
02:36:35,940 --> 02:36:39,900
know, that wasn't even enough.

2651
02:36:39,900 --> 02:36:43,710
than three months later. But

2652
02:36:43,710 --> 02:36:48,360
winter. And it was I got bogged

2653
02:36:48,360 --> 02:36:52,740
to juggle the kids, my looming

2654
02:36:52,740 --> 02:36:56,550
work maintaining a household by

2655
02:36:56,550 --> 02:36:58,980
after years of being told that

2656
02:36:58,980 --> 02:37:02,760
relationship that had ever

2657
02:37:02,760 --> 02:37:07,350
if I could just try my absolute

2658
02:37:07,350 --> 02:37:10,800
it could work. And I think a lot

2659
02:37:10,800 --> 02:37:14,550
partially relate related to

2660
02:37:14,550 --> 02:37:18,660
this strategy that's detailed

2661
02:37:18,660 --> 02:37:22,050
crumbing, where a narcissist can

2662
02:37:22,050 --> 02:37:24,840
seems like they're rational or

2663
02:37:24,840 --> 02:37:28,530
for something, which makes you

2664
02:37:29,640 --> 02:37:33,060
in that you just had to do

2665
02:37:33,060 --> 02:37:36,360
then things can work out, you

2666
02:37:36,360 --> 02:37:41,760
too, was just the emotional pain

2667
02:37:41,760 --> 02:37:46,260
mother forever and wanting my

2668
02:37:46,290 --> 02:37:51,030
like, I felt like I had to give

2669
02:37:51,030 --> 02:37:54,000
for things to work out. Because,

2670
02:37:54,000 --> 02:37:57,840
single mom with two kids, it's

2671
02:37:57,840 --> 02:38:02,250
with two different dads, it's

2672
02:38:02,370 --> 02:38:07,890
date again. So, you know, I felt

2673
02:38:07,920 --> 02:38:11,700
about him. And, you know, since

2674
02:38:11,700 --> 02:38:14,970
sowing doubt, playing on your

2675
02:38:14,970 --> 02:38:20,280
I felt like I could, you know,

2676
02:38:20,280 --> 02:38:22,950
that would make it better. And

2677
02:38:22,950 --> 02:38:25,830
time, you know, and, I mean, I

2678
02:38:25,830 --> 02:38:29,610
experiences at this point that

2679
02:38:30,210 --> 02:38:34,620
anyway, he came back last

2680
02:38:34,620 --> 02:38:37,650
things were mostly, you know,

2681
02:38:37,650 --> 02:38:41,490
been before, at least, you know,

2682
02:38:41,580 --> 02:38:44,910
I guess, early January. And in

2683
02:38:44,910 --> 02:38:48,870
gone to her father's house, and

2684
02:38:48,870 --> 02:38:53,550
hitting her when I wasn't

2685
02:38:53,550 --> 02:38:56,670
about it by phone, and I told my

2686
02:38:56,670 --> 02:38:59,190
felt that she had probably set

2687
02:38:59,190 --> 02:39:02,310
hadn't seen her dad in a while,

2688
02:39:02,310 --> 02:39:07,980
unavailable. So my daughter did

2689
02:39:07,980 --> 02:39:11,040
the truth. And you know, you

2690
02:39:11,040 --> 02:39:14,190
that could have serious

2691
02:39:14,190 --> 02:39:18,240
ex just went so far beyond and

2692
02:39:18,240 --> 02:39:21,870
he became like obsessed with

2693
02:39:21,870 --> 02:39:24,840
things like isolating her and

2694
02:39:24,840 --> 02:39:28,260
with her brother not letting her

2695
02:39:28,260 --> 02:39:32,940
coloring or doing or thinking

2696
02:39:32,970 --> 02:39:36,480
panic attacks and anxiety

2697
02:39:36,480 --> 02:39:40,680
naughty during the weekend and

2698
02:39:40,680 --> 02:39:43,860
the time my daughter said this

2699
02:39:43,860 --> 02:39:47,370
January. It went on until the

2700
02:39:47,370 --> 02:39:49,920
my ex for the last time so

2701
02:39:49,920 --> 02:39:54,120
this going on every day at home.

2702
02:39:54,120 --> 02:39:57,870
because it was just so extreme

2703
02:39:58,170 --> 02:40:01,320
he wouldn't let me have a saying

2704
02:40:01,320 --> 02:40:04,380
couldn't say anything about it

2705
02:40:04,380 --> 02:40:09,480
explosive fight. And in public,

2706
02:40:09,480 --> 02:40:13,020
different story, because he

2707
02:40:13,020 --> 02:40:17,280
stepdad. And, you know, but even

2708
02:40:17,280 --> 02:40:20,430
that knew him too, they can tell

2709
02:40:20,430 --> 02:40:24,300
on between him and my daughter.

2710
02:40:24,300 --> 02:40:28,710
up, did break up with him. And,

2711
02:40:28,710 --> 02:40:33,060
daughter, it was about how he

2712
02:40:33,060 --> 02:40:36,510
reason he gave us to why I

2713
02:40:36,510 --> 02:40:40,140
didn't have anything to do with

2714
02:40:40,140 --> 02:40:43,770
with me, or caring about me or

2715
02:40:43,770 --> 02:40:47,940
about how my relationship was

2716
02:40:47,940 --> 02:40:51,330
independent media. So he

2717
02:40:51,660 --> 02:40:55,800
been using me, you know,

2718
02:40:55,800 --> 02:40:59,880
the beginning. And, you know,

2719
02:40:59,880 --> 02:41:04,080
mom after my uncle's death, and

2720
02:41:04,080 --> 02:41:07,950
escalated, when she was afraid

2721
02:41:07,950 --> 02:41:13,710
what she had done. To my uncle,

2722
02:41:13,710 --> 02:41:17,430
that maybe that's what my ex had

2723
02:41:17,430 --> 02:41:21,150
maybe she hadn't been lying to

2724
02:41:21,150 --> 02:41:24,000
know, that's something I'll,

2725
02:41:24,510 --> 02:41:28,200
going to ask bring it up to her

2726
02:41:28,200 --> 02:41:32,670
to be behind us. But you know,

2727
02:41:32,670 --> 02:41:35,190
my accent, you know, I did

2728
02:41:35,190 --> 02:41:39,690
I sent him away, because I could

2729
02:41:39,690 --> 02:41:43,080
felt like my daughter was

2730
02:41:43,080 --> 02:41:46,680
childhood, I could see, you

2731
02:41:46,680 --> 02:41:51,150
it was just like watching four

2732
02:41:51,150 --> 02:41:55,260
know, and I just did not want

2733
02:41:55,260 --> 02:41:59,250
just know how, how painful it

2734
02:41:59,250 --> 02:42:04,080
important job as a parent is to

2735
02:42:04,080 --> 02:42:10,320
from continuing, and I am

2736
02:42:10,440 --> 02:42:13,170
to talk about it, because I

2737
02:42:13,170 --> 02:42:17,580
embarrassing and awful, that it

2738
02:42:17,580 --> 02:42:20,310
something about it, I should

2739
02:42:20,310 --> 02:42:25,950
But you know, you know, you

2740
02:42:25,950 --> 02:42:29,220
with a narcissist, and maybe you

2741
02:42:29,220 --> 02:42:31,860
that are really hard to break

2742
02:42:31,860 --> 02:42:36,330
to almost nothing. They fill you

2743
02:42:36,330 --> 02:42:43,080
weak, you know, like paralyzed

2744
02:42:43,080 --> 02:42:46,290
think of one positive thing from

2745
02:42:46,290 --> 02:42:50,790
it's that I understand my, my

2746
02:42:50,790 --> 02:42:53,700
know, for a long time, I never

2747
02:42:53,700 --> 02:42:56,340
relationship where someone

2748
02:42:56,340 --> 02:42:58,950
was miserable, and his kids were

2749
02:43:00,240 --> 02:43:03,360
I was him in my last

2750
02:43:03,360 --> 02:43:07,950
last three months. So you know,

2751
02:43:08,070 --> 02:43:14,490
a little more. So I'm so here

2752
02:43:14,490 --> 02:43:18,570
succinct summary as I can really

2753
02:43:19,440 --> 02:43:23,100
narcissists, how it's affected

2754
02:43:23,100 --> 02:43:27,810
struggle that I've had as a

2755
02:43:27,810 --> 02:43:33,990
boundaries to stick up for

2756
02:43:33,990 --> 02:43:37,830
truth is, because, you know,

2757
02:43:37,830 --> 02:43:41,730
got, I basically had my mom

2758
02:43:41,730 --> 02:43:45,690
against me when I was a teen.

2759
02:43:45,690 --> 02:43:50,010
repeated itself while my son has

2760
02:43:50,040 --> 02:43:56,460
and my my son's father, who

2761
02:43:56,490 --> 02:44:00,570
how he could help or support his

2762
02:44:00,570 --> 02:44:03,360
fundraised off of my son's

2763
02:44:03,360 --> 02:44:07,320
involved with us when he wasn't,

2764
02:44:07,320 --> 02:44:13,200
any of that money here, spent

2765
02:44:13,350 --> 02:44:16,200
behind my back to work

2766
02:44:16,200 --> 02:44:18,990
closely with contributors to my

2767
02:44:18,990 --> 02:44:22,230
articles with, and people he

2768
02:44:22,470 --> 02:44:27,810
via my website and so on, while

2769
02:44:27,810 --> 02:44:31,830
he didn't actually do on my book

2770
02:44:31,830 --> 02:44:35,310
website, and then also trying to

2771
02:44:35,520 --> 02:44:40,350
that we were still together,

2772
02:44:40,350 --> 02:44:42,660
because he knows I don't like

2773
02:44:42,660 --> 02:44:46,020
conflict, and that I was

2774
02:44:46,020 --> 02:44:52,350
it. But I did say something

2775
02:44:52,380 --> 02:44:56,490
to set things straight that he

2776
02:44:56,490 --> 02:45:00,300
he's made it very clear that he

2777
02:45:01,710 --> 02:45:05,610
crazy hit piece on me or

2778
02:45:05,610 --> 02:45:09,540
want to live with fear or worry

2779
02:45:11,160 --> 02:45:14,610
what his narrative is about me

2780
02:45:14,610 --> 02:45:18,450
me, I just want to move on and

2781
02:45:18,690 --> 02:45:22,260
and not giving him any thought.

2782
02:45:22,260 --> 02:45:25,590
care, I've left supporting

2783
02:45:25,590 --> 02:45:29,370
about this in the show notes.

2784
02:45:29,370 --> 02:45:32,850
time I plan on speaking about

2785
02:45:32,850 --> 02:45:39,240
because as I said before, I'm

2786
02:45:39,300 --> 02:45:42,000
I'm not planning on talking

2787
02:45:42,000 --> 02:45:46,620
event. You know, that me having

2788
02:45:46,620 --> 02:45:50,610
realize that they're in abusive

2789
02:45:51,120 --> 02:45:54,480
an experience similar to mine,

2790
02:45:54,480 --> 02:45:58,980
it's worth it to so. You know,

2791
02:45:58,980 --> 02:46:00,690
listen to me and my story.