1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:17,820 all right let's do some improv joe can we get a suggestion 2 00:00:17,820 --> 00:00:22,040 your suggestion is sluts 3 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:32,400 okay art imitating life that is such a fun word to say do you ever say it like this 4 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:40,500 no like sean connery oh yeah uh no i don't usually when i say it i say it like sluts 5 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:47,700 i said it three times on the way here really yeah so either when i'm in traffic it's either like sir 6 00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:49,680 or sluts. 7 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,400 Sometimes the sir is me. 8 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:54,740 You say sir to yourself 9 00:00:54,740 --> 00:00:55,240 when you're driving? 10 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,920 If I cut it a little close, 11 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:57,920 I'm like, hit the brake, 12 00:00:57,940 --> 00:00:58,560 I'm like, sir! 13 00:00:58,720 --> 00:00:59,760 But I'm talking to myself. 14 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,040 You afford yourself 15 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,300 a certain amount of respect 16 00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:04,700 that you don't afford 17 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:05,820 the other drivers on the road. 18 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:06,240 Yes. 19 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:08,020 Thank you. 20 00:01:08,260 --> 00:01:08,480 Yeah. 21 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:09,200 They're sluts. 22 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:09,780 Yeah. 23 00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:10,560 I am sir. 24 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:15,780 I'm going to get a t-shirt made with that. 25 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:17,300 They're sluts. 26 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,400 I am sir. Or like 27 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,840 you're my slut, I'm your sir. 28 00:01:22,260 --> 00:01:22,840 Slut sir. 29 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:25,400 Big sir slut. California. 30 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,240 Yeah, how come there isn't a city named Big 31 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:29,900 Sir Slut? 32 00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,320 We could buy a town. 33 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:34,240 Okay. 34 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,740 I've always wanted to name a bunch of streets. 35 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,260 Bumper Boulevard being one of the names? 36 00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:41,440 Yes, of course. Bumper Boulevard. 37 00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,200 Do you have any other street without giving 38 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,200 too much away? Although this is for subscribers 39 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:53,400 only so uh they'll keep it in the family they won't steal your street name ideas maybe something 40 00:01:53,400 --> 00:02:00,440 like i don't know like mm-hmm just just like noises yeah 41 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:13,360 avenue whoa circle yeah yeah um yeah i think that would be a fun place to live 42 00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:14,760 You would invest in that? 43 00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:16,520 In that town? 44 00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:16,760 Yeah. 45 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:17,460 In buying that town? 46 00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:17,760 Yeah. 47 00:02:18,340 --> 00:02:19,100 Yeah, sure. 48 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:19,820 Okay. 49 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,260 We'll do it. 50 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:34,530 Then we be neighbors and our wall will have a door Oh nice Like a hotel Yeah Oh like directly Not just like a gate in between the two of our places It house to house Yeah Okay 51 00:02:34,810 --> 00:02:39,150 I want to hear you go meow at the door and maybe like, kitty wants to come in. 52 00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:44,530 How did you know I do that at my door? 53 00:02:44,770 --> 00:02:46,190 I know things about you. 54 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,270 There's no secrets between us. 55 00:02:49,390 --> 00:02:49,510 No. 56 00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:52,830 And now, improv. 57 00:02:54,590 --> 00:02:58,530 Hey, Becky. 58 00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:00,010 Yeah? 59 00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:01,790 I got a new tattoo. 60 00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:03,170 Oh my god. 61 00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:03,510 Yeah. 62 00:03:03,670 --> 00:03:04,030 Show me. 63 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:04,750 Okay, hold on. 64 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,090 I gotta take my pants off. 65 00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:07,010 Oh. 66 00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:07,570 Oh. 67 00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:08,970 There it is. 68 00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:12,170 Says slap. 69 00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:15,610 Oh my god. 70 00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:17,310 Kirsten. 71 00:03:17,870 --> 00:03:18,310 Yeah? 72 00:03:18,550 --> 00:03:19,170 You love it? 73 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,310 Have you actually looked at it? 74 00:03:22,710 --> 00:03:22,970 No. 75 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:23,670 Have you seen it? 76 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,350 Hold on, I'm trying right now. I'm turning. 77 00:03:26,530 --> 00:03:27,930 My neck just doesn't go. 78 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,090 It doesn't say sluts. 79 00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:34,050 What? 80 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:35,070 No. 81 00:03:35,630 --> 00:03:36,830 What does it say? 82 00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:41,070 It says slots. 83 00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:43,870 Slots? 84 00:03:43,870 --> 00:03:45,690 Like the machines? 85 00:03:46,410 --> 00:03:49,250 Like the machines. 86 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,830 and not only that 87 00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:55,650 around your sweet sweet ass 88 00:03:55,650 --> 00:04:02,930 there's a 89 00:04:02,930 --> 00:04:06,710 tattoo of a slot machine 90 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:07,250 what 91 00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:09,870 no 92 00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:12,270 is that what you told the guy 93 00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:14,170 no I said slots 94 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,390 and I said I'm a machine 95 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:25,250 oh my god kirsten what do i do what do i do i don't know i don't know if this is fixable 96 00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:30,110 rub it off will it come off it's so new no it doesn't work i'm rubbing 97 00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:41,750 i'm rubbing so hard oh oh by the way your ass is amazing thank you 98 00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:43,130 with my sweet, sweet ass. 99 00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:44,510 What do I do? 100 00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:46,190 I have a date later. 101 00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:48,950 And if he comes over and finds out I'm a gambler. 102 00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:51,990 Are you a gambler? 103 00:04:51,990 --> 00:05:04,380 He gonna think so And he not gonna believe but I a slut He just I know He just be putting quarters down your ass 104 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:06,880 Run your sweet, sweet ass. 105 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:07,880 Yeah. 106 00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,480 What do I do? 107 00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:13,440 Maybe the tattoo artist 108 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,160 can fix it. 109 00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:15,680 He's gone. He went to Jamaica. 110 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,200 Well, let's get to Jamaica then. 111 00:05:19,740 --> 00:05:20,280 Can't you? 112 00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:21,700 Can't I do it? 113 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,300 Can you do it? 114 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:24,200 Okay, I can try. 115 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:25,200 Okay, hold on. 116 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,260 Let me assume the pizzazz. 117 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,440 Okay, hold on. 118 00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:30,200 Let me get my... 119 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,880 Thank God you got me that homemade tattoo artist kit for Christmas. 120 00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:35,260 Saw it on Etsy. 121 00:05:36,060 --> 00:05:36,700 I know. 122 00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:37,900 Etsy's the best. 123 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,460 It's the besties for Esty's. 124 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:41,340 Etsy's. 125 00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:43,840 Okay, Kirsten, are you ready? 126 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,480 Yeah, what are you going to do? 127 00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:50,600 Well, I'm going to somehow try to make this machine look like a slut. 128 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:56,440 thank you i'm gonna try to make that oh look like a you i knew you'd get it okay okay 129 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:05,400 three hours later 130 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:14,680 oh my my oh my hand's about to fall off no hold it with the other one i think i i think i did it 131 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:19,820 Oh no. 132 00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:20,320 What? 133 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:20,560 What? 134 00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:22,380 No, nothing. 135 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:23,080 What do you mean no? 136 00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:25,280 I don't have time to survey my work. 137 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,380 Your date's here. 138 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,320 Oh, okay. 139 00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:28,920 Let me comb my hairs. 140 00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,280 Come in. 141 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:34,420 Me. 142 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:37,980 Yo. 143 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:39,360 Kirsten. 144 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,260 Yes? 145 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:42,380 Me? 146 00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:45,780 Do you just say, come in, me? 147 00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:49,240 As a slut would do, yes. 148 00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:53,060 Whoa, well, that sounds like something a slut would say, 149 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:57,020 but I'm afraid you're going to have to prove in another way that you're really a slut. 150 00:06:57,340 --> 00:06:59,760 Oh, okay. Hold on. 151 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,560 I only accept validation in the form of tattoos. 152 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,720 Oh, this is for todas, Billy. 153 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,480 Hold on, I'm a zipper fly. 154 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:14,480 They're going down from my ankles. 155 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,840 Wait, sorry. 156 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,720 Did you just say you have a zipper fly? 157 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:19,980 Yeah, it's not a zipper. 158 00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:20,980 Oh. 159 00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:21,980 Oh. 160 00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:35,091 And then I heard a bunch of button noises Don slut You such a slut you don even know what kind of pants you got on Yeah I love that I love that in my sluts Oh wow Can wait to be 161 00:07:35,091 --> 00:07:36,411 thrown away. 162 00:07:37,531 --> 00:07:39,111 Okay, um... 163 00:07:39,111 --> 00:07:40,411 There I am. 164 00:07:42,631 --> 00:07:43,191 What? 165 00:07:43,191 --> 00:07:44,791 Let me turn for you. 166 00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:46,211 Oh. 167 00:07:46,991 --> 00:07:47,391 Kirsten. 168 00:07:48,251 --> 00:07:48,771 What? 169 00:07:49,671 --> 00:07:51,251 Kirsten, why do you have 170 00:07:51,251 --> 00:07:53,471 an exact 171 00:07:53,471 --> 00:07:55,351 replica of 172 00:07:55,351 --> 00:07:57,611 Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper 173 00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:58,851 on your butt. What the hell? 174 00:07:59,191 --> 00:08:00,991 Hold on. Becky! 175 00:08:02,671 --> 00:08:03,151 Yeah? 176 00:08:03,371 --> 00:08:05,451 I'm hiding in the other room. I don't want to ruin 177 00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:07,511 your date. Becky said I've got a, like, 178 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,251 some sort of da Vinci. 179 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:10,871 I'm sorry. 180 00:08:11,271 --> 00:08:13,031 I don't know what I'm doing. 181 00:08:13,171 --> 00:08:14,951 They're not sluts. They're not? 182 00:08:15,071 --> 00:08:17,511 No, they're fuggos. They're just dudes with long hair? 183 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:18,391 They're ugly dudes. 184 00:08:19,251 --> 00:08:20,651 Oh, I'm so sorry. 185 00:08:21,011 --> 00:08:23,291 I don't want to be, have a meal 186 00:08:23,291 --> 00:08:33,071 on me uh hello yeah becky what what's the deal like why did you put this on your friend's ass 187 00:08:33,071 --> 00:08:38,951 i i i don't know i i was just trying to fix there was a horrible horrible mistake don't tell me 188 00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:46,831 about it no no listen kirsten it's okay you can be honest with me just tell me what happened 189 00:08:46,831 --> 00:08:48,371 have you ever like 190 00:08:48,371 --> 00:08:51,851 been to Las Vegas 191 00:08:51,851 --> 00:08:53,871 have I ever 192 00:08:53,871 --> 00:08:54,231 Nevada 193 00:08:54,231 --> 00:08:55,751 and then what 194 00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:57,951 I was saying it's in Nevada 195 00:08:57,951 --> 00:09:00,011 oh that Las Vegas 196 00:09:00,011 --> 00:09:02,071 yeah there's actually one in New Mexico 197 00:09:02,071 --> 00:09:03,891 I've been to that one 198 00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,391 I've not been to the Vegas one 199 00:09:05,391 --> 00:09:07,151 or the Nevada one 200 00:09:07,151 --> 00:09:09,451 you're missing much 201 00:09:09,451 --> 00:09:11,631 I am missing much 202 00:09:11,631 --> 00:09:13,011 yeah you bring your coins 203 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,431 and you put the coins in 204 00:09:14,431 --> 00:09:16,871 and sometimes you get something. 205 00:09:18,071 --> 00:09:20,671 Well, I got a coin right here. 206 00:09:21,851 --> 00:09:26,491 I can just maybe insert this 207 00:09:26,491 --> 00:09:30,311 into that slot in your sweet, sweet ass. 208 00:09:30,311 --> 00:09:31,551 One second. Becky, you can go. 209 00:09:31,711 --> 00:09:37,851 Just know that the house always wins. 210 00:09:40,191 --> 00:09:41,311 Alright, end scene. 211 00:09:44,431 --> 00:09:58,191 We'll see you next time.