1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:24,580 so there's a FedEx in a shopping plaza that's near me that I go on that plaza fairly frequently 2 00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:41,640 And this FedEx is fascinating to me because its clientele seems to be women between the age of 30 and 50 who are good looking women and they all drive nice cars. 3 00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:43,260 Okay. 4 00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:44,940 Like I sit in the parking lot. 5 00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:46,180 With binoculars? 6 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,880 No, right there. 7 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:49,980 I yell a wooga. 8 00:00:49,980 --> 00:01:03,780 No, but it's like the women that come out of there, it's like 75% of the people that are there are like good looking rich women at a FedEx at a just normal shopping plaza. 9 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:04,660 Isn't that weird? 10 00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:08,820 Doesn't that strike you as very odd that it's not more like normal people? 11 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,000 What are these women shipping? 12 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,280 These sound like hot stepmoms near me. 13 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,800 they're probably 14 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,180 mailing 15 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:19,880 their ugly first husbands 16 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,580 for alimony 17 00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:23,200 but they also have enough money 18 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,200 why are they doing the shipping 19 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,360 well don't you know it's also that FedEx 20 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,860 has hot delivery drivers 21 00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:31,740 and attractive women 22 00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:32,740 who drive nice cars 23 00:01:32,740 --> 00:01:35,620 all fantasize about hooking up with 24 00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:36,760 hot delivery drivers 25 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,320 I bet you if you were to go into that store in the back 26 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,560 they had a room with a delivery van in it 27 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,860 so 28 00:01:42,860 --> 00:01:50,700 they had the van in the room yeah just to help fulfill some fantasies yeah uh uh someone that i 29 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:59,160 was i was at that parking lot today and someone that i was with was like man if i was a poonhound 30 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:05,200 i would work at that fedex like yes you would you were driving around with my dad 31 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:12,160 oh my god if dennis gets a job there the line's gonna be around the block 32 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:20,740 um yeah wow i know it's it's very odd to me because it's like i'll just like sit there and 33 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:26,260 just be like just watch for like a few minutes and it's like what's going on you know i have 34 00:02:26,260 --> 00:02:29,520 another angle on this you probably haven't considered what's that you were there too 35 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:39,040 you know what that means i didn't go into the fedex okay so you're hot curious yes i know i'm 36 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:45,180 worried that i that i would go into that fedex and i'd be like no i'm the ugliest one here no 37 00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:49,440 they would all part for you yeah and someone would hold open the door and you'd see the driver like 38 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:57,380 beckoning you from the van right well no but if he saw me leave my toyota corolla i don't think 39 00:02:57,380 --> 00:03:03,220 he'd be no you gotta have an acura or higher actually no if he saw you he'd be like we don't 40 00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:11,340 always have to follow the rules yeah and some rules are made to be broken so what if there's 41 00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:17,000 a whole other like fedex like the fedex drivers are sick of the hot women so they go somewhere 42 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:22,600 where there's just average looking women that they get to have sex with um another location 43 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:26,860 you mean because if there's a hot location there's got to be like a well like no the women have the 44 00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:31,440 fedex where they go and there's the room that has the van and the so where do the fedex drivers go 45 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,260 oh when they just want to get there's a room with a toyota corolla in it 46 00:03:35,260 --> 00:03:39,680 yeah that's probably just go home 47 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:48,440 yeah hey honey hey average honey you're my fantasy disappoint me baby i mean 48 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:57,200 as long you know i guess there's nothing wrong with it as long as there's a bunch of consenting 49 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,200 adults that are doing this into FedEx. 50 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,620 I don't have a problem with it, 51 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,320 but it just is odd. 52 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:04,040 Because I mean, 53 00:04:04,180 --> 00:04:07,040 there's a UPS store that I go to 54 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,560 to drop off my Amazon returns. 55 00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:11,120 What's the clientele like there? 56 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:12,900 Normal. Regular. 57 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,140 And I would argue that 58 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,900 this UPS store is in a nicer 59 00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:18,260 part of town. 60 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:21,240 The sexier part 61 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,020 of town. It's the sexier part of town. 62 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,380 Sometimes that's enough. 63 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,560 Yeah, I don't know. 64 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,300 I'm not a doctor. 65 00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:33,260 I just wanted to put it out there. 66 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,840 Listeners, if you want to know where this FedEx is, 67 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:44,240 if you are in the market for a lady of means who's attractive. 68 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,280 I have actually one friend I think I should be telling about this FedEx. 69 00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:53,460 That's the friend I thought was with you in the car. 70 00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:54,860 No, no. 71 00:04:54,860 --> 00:05:04,740 uh no he would have just left the car and gone into fedex um no but you can um send us a dm us 72 00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:12,520 on social media at very fine friends speaking of which welcome to very fine friends i said that 73 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:19,700 kind of weird it's not like very fine friends very fine friends um how are you francis i mean 74 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:28,240 yeah i'm not as good as a fedex driver in the next best part of town but i'm doing okay fedex 75 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:34,400 driver next to a pot belly but but you're doing pretty good i just picture that's what someone 76 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:42,380 describes them if they were saying next to me that's what the fedex driver it's like it's he 77 00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:46,820 he's at work and he's next to a pop belly he goes home to his average wife he's next to a pot belly 78 00:05:46,820 --> 00:05:48,740 Like, he's surrounded by it. 79 00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:49,260 Yeah. 80 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,540 Isn't that a terrible name for a restaurant? 81 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:53,920 I like pot belly. 82 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:54,820 The sandwiches are good. 83 00:05:55,000 --> 00:06:00,120 But why be like, you're going to get fat if you eat this? 84 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:01,440 At least they're honest. 85 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:02,320 Yeah. 86 00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:08,480 Like, would you go to a restaurant called Dump Truck Ass? 87 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,160 Kind of. 88 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:11,780 Kind of. 89 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:13,780 It's probably pretty good food. 90 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:14,940 I mean, I'm good for a joke. 91 00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:20,160 Like when I see like a Thai or like a pho place and it's like a pun, I'm like, I want to go. 92 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:21,240 Yeah. 93 00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:23,380 There's one that was unforgettable. 94 00:06:24,060 --> 00:06:26,960 I'm like, you deserve to have me try your soup. 95 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,200 Did you try it? 96 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:29,840 No. 97 00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:30,860 Was it forgettable? 98 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,200 I was en route to another location. 99 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:33,660 Yeah. 100 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:36,620 I was with someone else. 101 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:37,360 Oh. 102 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,020 They already decided on a place. 103 00:06:39,180 --> 00:06:39,720 What was I going to do? 104 00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:40,680 I'd be like, I saw a pun. 105 00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:41,420 Please. 106 00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:42,840 I got to go. 107 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:43,580 Go back. 108 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:51,640 quick interruption every week on the podcast we do something where our producer joe gives 109 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:59,300 francis and i each our own secret word throughout the course of the podcast we need to find a way 110 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:04,980 to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing if the other 111 00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:12,460 person can correctly guess the secret word they get a point and right before we die we add up all 112 00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:18,620 points. And then we get a prize, whoever has the most points for guessing the most secret words. 113 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:27,100 Here's Joe with today's secret words. Jenna's secret word is consenting. Jenna's decoy word 114 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:37,580 is 14. Francis's secret word is Einstein. Francis's decoy word is masturbation. Back to the pod. 115 00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:45,660 you know what i'd like to do i think i have an idea let's hear it i'd like to hear the invention 116 00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:56,080 of the week inventions oh i was way off what did you what did you think i'm just joshing you 117 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:02,220 oh you want an invention yeah you want an invention i'll give you an invention yeah 118 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:04,040 okay 119 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:09,960 here it is okay you know how 120 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:17,360 traffic sucks oh i do know that you know how i had a previous invention that helped people move 121 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:24,120 around town but it was maybe not so practical your uh catapult ball yeah thing yeah yeah 122 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:24,560 Yeah. 123 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,300 I hit the drawing board. 124 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,540 I have a new solution. 125 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,560 You know how it would be cool if we could ride a train to work if it got you there fast? 126 00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:35,860 Yes, I do know that. 127 00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:38,520 Is your seatbelt buckled? 128 00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:40,420 Because you're about to fly out of that thing. 129 00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:42,140 Okay. 130 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:42,980 Here's my invention. 131 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:43,680 Into traffic. 132 00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:45,540 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 133 00:08:45,740 --> 00:08:46,060 Okay. 134 00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:47,540 Here it is. 135 00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:51,200 I was thinking about this today while I was in traffic. 136 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,860 if if you 137 00:08:54,860 --> 00:09:10,080 here we go if you could get in you know how sometimes like in the tube or you know on the 138 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:15,620 subway like there's a lot of people in the tube like a jolly old jolly old bridget jones's tube 139 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:19,580 yeah yeah so there could be a lot of people standing next to each other right yeah so here 140 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:20,920 I mean, here's where it gets cool. 141 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:21,880 You get in. 142 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:22,660 Okay? 143 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,740 You are, you're standing. 144 00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:25,380 You stay standing. 145 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:25,720 Okay. 146 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,420 You hold on to the ropey thing. 147 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:32,020 And you're in like a, like a train shaped container. 148 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:33,140 Okay? 149 00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:33,700 Yeah. 150 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:41,660 And then a helicopter picks it up and drives it across town and sets it down. 151 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,140 With other people in it? 152 00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:44,620 Yeah. 153 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:45,900 It's a bunch of people. 154 00:09:46,340 --> 00:09:47,380 It's like a subway. 155 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:50,080 it's a subway for the sky. 156 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,380 It's a... 157 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:53,780 What's Latin for above? 158 00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:54,500 Superway. 159 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:55,400 That's it. 160 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,420 The superway. 161 00:09:58,720 --> 00:09:59,360 Okay. 162 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,040 I'm assuming they're going to have to be stops 163 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:04,980 like a train. 164 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:06,780 Mm-hmm. 165 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,140 Okay. 166 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:09,300 Yeah. 167 00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:10,260 So 168 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:14,660 they're still kind of far apart, 169 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,280 I'm assuming. 170 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,280 You can't have them like... 171 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:22,200 So there's still a lot of commuting going on. 172 00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:25,960 It works just like a train, except for a helicopter carries it. 173 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,480 Yeah, the super way. 174 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:29,080 Yeah. 175 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,100 What's the benefit? 176 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:40,000 What's the benefit of having the helicopter carry it if it's just taking you to fixed points like a train would? 177 00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:41,360 Why not have it just be on rails? 178 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:46,160 You basically invented something between a puddle jumper and a bus. 179 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,640 which there's clearly a need for. 180 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:54,620 And the reason it's better is because, look, let's face facts. 181 00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:58,780 They're not going to lay down tracks for a subway or a big train. 182 00:10:58,820 --> 00:10:59,800 They're just not going to do it. 183 00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:00,760 They've had time. 184 00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:02,500 They've shown us they're not going to do it. 185 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:08,120 So we need to pick up the slack and do our own thing. 186 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,580 We must take to the sky. 187 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,060 We're away. 188 00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:19,340 what what weight capacity can a helicopter handle 189 00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:30,920 5 000 pounds okay so how much is this train itself weigh i wouldn't be surprised if a train car 190 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:36,340 weighs close to 5 000 pounds well i did just pull that number out of nowhere so it could be more 191 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:37,000 Okay. 192 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:37,980 Joe will look it up. 193 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,020 And while we're talking about this, I mean, yes, it's not going to go from, 194 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,760 although it could go for just a couple of miles. 195 00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:46,840 Listen, it's just like a bus system. 196 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,220 Some of them are dropped. 197 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,280 You go to the one where it's taking you where you want to go. 198 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,400 Oh, I need to go five miles away? 199 00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:52,260 You get on this one. 200 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:53,580 Oh, I need to go across town? 201 00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:54,520 You get on this one. 202 00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:56,340 But I haven't told you the most exciting part. 203 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:56,940 Okay. 204 00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,680 You know how people are scared of falling from the sky? 205 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:02,400 Yes, I do know that. 206 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,120 if there was any sort of issue, 207 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,920 the helicopter could let the train go. 208 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:08,940 The train has a couple of parachutes 209 00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:11,940 that will deploy, but also... 210 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,240 Like Operation Dumbo drop? 211 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:14,220 Yes. 212 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:15,680 Yes, but also there's more. 213 00:12:16,220 --> 00:12:17,820 Because you're in an enclosed space. 214 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:19,040 The cabin. 215 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:20,720 So, you know how they say on planes, 216 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,320 like, oh, an oxygen mask will fall down 217 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,560 and you'll be okay? 218 00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:26,060 You'll be okay, kid, as they say. 219 00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:26,460 Yeah. 220 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,440 Little mouth tubes drop 221 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,040 so that you can breathe oxygen 222 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:36,760 because the whole cabin is going to fill the proprietary hardening foam 223 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:41,840 that squeezes in between everyone so that if there is impact, 224 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:47,940 you're like in a gelatinous foam where it takes most of the shock. 225 00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:50,100 Okay. 226 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,540 And you're breathing in the air tube. 227 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,520 So all these air tubes coming out the top. 228 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:55,760 You better suck on it, yeah. 229 00:12:56,700 --> 00:13:01,020 And then how long does it take to get out? 230 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:06,720 and and how many people have had a panic attack because they're trapped in this gelatinous foam 231 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:12,640 with just a breathing tube well keep in mind this is a rare event okay so um 232 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:24,300 parachutes deploy from the train car presumably to as gently as possible lower it yeah um 233 00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:30,800 then the thing also fills with foam very quickly yes but you also have to put 234 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:34,900 the tube in really quickly what if somebody misses the tube they have a 10 second window 235 00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,720 okay what you know how then the airplane they always say do your mask first and then a child 236 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,540 yeah like what if there's not enough time to be like and then baby and then the baby 237 00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:49,580 doesn't know what's happening and uh there are risks in life this is one of those risks 238 00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:53,480 you would need two of the world's 239 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,580 largest helicopters 240 00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,540 to carry one average 241 00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:58,860 size passenger train 242 00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:01,540 just a train or a train 243 00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,500 car train car 244 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:04,580 okay 245 00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:07,460 okay that makes 246 00:14:07,460 --> 00:14:08,680 my invention all the richer 247 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:23,256 beautiful isn it the sight of two helicopters side by side investors if you listening and we know you are What about just helicopters that take you from place to place 248 00:14:23,316 --> 00:14:24,676 Well, that can only take a couple of people. 249 00:14:25,276 --> 00:14:29,676 We're trying to, you know, help multiple. 250 00:14:29,676 --> 00:14:30,196 The masses? 251 00:14:30,356 --> 00:14:30,976 Yeah, the masses. 252 00:14:31,436 --> 00:14:31,656 Okay. 253 00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:38,496 What about the potential for... 254 00:14:38,496 --> 00:14:43,856 You're not going to have very many stops because all these helicopters would be hitting each other, going from place to place in the air. 255 00:14:44,936 --> 00:14:45,516 Wouldn't they? 256 00:14:45,716 --> 00:14:46,016 No. 257 00:14:46,756 --> 00:14:47,716 Oh, okay. 258 00:14:47,916 --> 00:14:49,116 The training is... 259 00:14:49,116 --> 00:14:50,456 You looked at me like I was an idiot. 260 00:14:51,136 --> 00:14:55,176 They will be told specifically during their onboarding that that's not allowed and don't do it. 261 00:14:55,176 --> 00:15:03,356 They will be shown a VHS in their half-day training that says don't hit other helicopters. 262 00:15:03,456 --> 00:15:04,176 Well, the helicopters are... 263 00:15:04,176 --> 00:15:13,236 See what we're doing is we're going to weld two of those helicopters together side by side with enough space so that the propellers, the blades never hit each other. 264 00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:16,076 Or it could be one in the front and one in the back. 265 00:15:18,996 --> 00:15:23,136 I like the idea of welding two helicopters together, though. 266 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,376 We don't talk about it enough, that's for sure. 267 00:15:26,036 --> 00:15:27,456 Let's go back to the foam. 268 00:15:27,456 --> 00:15:34,416 the edge what about can you invent some kind of proprietary technology that makes 269 00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:42,436 everybody and the train car quickly the birds are jealous i don't know if you can hear the birds in 270 00:15:42,436 --> 00:15:46,076 the background listeners but they're jealous of all the new helicopters they're turning in 271 00:15:46,076 --> 00:15:53,016 yes they're like no this is our space um what if um instead of foam there's a proprietary 272 00:15:53,016 --> 00:15:55,336 technology that shrinks 273 00:15:55,336 --> 00:15:56,796 everybody in it 274 00:15:56,796 --> 00:15:59,196 and the train car itself down 275 00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:01,256 to an ant so that it can fall 276 00:16:01,256 --> 00:16:03,096 and then not get hurt, which we learned about 277 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,616 or which I learned about 278 00:16:04,616 --> 00:16:06,116 a few episodes ago. 279 00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,516 It seems just as possible. 280 00:16:12,056 --> 00:16:12,896 Come on. 281 00:16:13,656 --> 00:16:15,496 If Rick Moranis couldn't do it, 282 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:16,696 he did do it. 283 00:16:17,296 --> 00:16:18,656 He could do it because he did. 284 00:16:19,316 --> 00:16:20,536 They made an old movie about it. 285 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:24,156 He shrunk the kids. 286 00:16:24,996 --> 00:16:25,636 It's titular. 287 00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:26,316 Honey, he did. 288 00:16:27,216 --> 00:16:28,496 And then he blew one up. 289 00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,016 Then they shrunk themselves. 290 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:33,076 Great films. 291 00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:33,976 We should watch those sometime. 292 00:16:34,176 --> 00:16:34,436 Yeah. 293 00:16:35,336 --> 00:16:36,576 Sure, that's one way to go. 294 00:16:40,736 --> 00:16:44,936 I'm trying to pitch this to people who are scared of being shrunken, too. 295 00:16:46,096 --> 00:16:49,256 But not scared of being smothered to death by foam? 296 00:16:49,316 --> 00:16:50,476 It's not a smothering foam. 297 00:16:50,816 --> 00:16:51,876 It's a helping foam. 298 00:16:53,016 --> 00:16:59,776 okay yeah um and you can get out of it it tears it's like bread 299 00:16:59,776 --> 00:17:13,076 um well if you if it tears like bread then how is it saving you i guess well it's for shock it's 300 00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:19,956 for impact you know if you had 2 000 sheets of bread between you and your car door and you got 301 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:24,836 into an accident it would help i actually that sounds kind of comfortable just laying a bunch 302 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:29,436 of white bread down and yeah now you're getting on it like a mattress now you're getting it 303 00:17:29,436 --> 00:17:35,276 yeah that kind of sound kind of good yeah there will be signs 304 00:17:35,276 --> 00:17:44,496 there's um one thing that we haven't really talked about why this is a huge 305 00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:47,616 step forward for passenger technology? 306 00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:49,596 Oh, well, please. 307 00:17:50,176 --> 00:17:52,196 I mean, I feel like you've already sold it, 308 00:17:52,296 --> 00:17:55,196 but if you feel like you need to further sweeten the deal. 309 00:17:55,356 --> 00:17:56,316 I do, I do. 310 00:17:57,256 --> 00:18:00,276 The reason a lot of people don't ride on trains 311 00:18:00,276 --> 00:18:01,936 is because of public masturbation. 312 00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:03,256 Yeah. 313 00:18:03,776 --> 00:18:05,376 This will cut down on that to zero. 314 00:18:06,396 --> 00:18:06,796 How? 315 00:18:07,616 --> 00:18:09,316 Because you have to stand up and hold the... 316 00:18:10,736 --> 00:18:11,936 Some ways you have to do that. 317 00:18:12,316 --> 00:18:14,296 That's why they're called strap hangers. 318 00:18:14,496 --> 00:18:16,736 Well, everyone knows it's harder to do that in the sky. 319 00:18:18,016 --> 00:18:18,396 Yeah. 320 00:18:20,536 --> 00:18:21,856 Everyone knows that, Jenna. 321 00:18:22,096 --> 00:18:24,036 I think that'll just... 322 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,596 The people that are publicly doing that, 323 00:18:29,296 --> 00:18:30,836 they are not... 324 00:18:30,836 --> 00:18:31,956 They're not doing it because it's like, 325 00:18:32,036 --> 00:18:33,156 well, it's so easy. 326 00:18:33,836 --> 00:18:35,396 I have to do it. 327 00:18:35,736 --> 00:18:38,236 They're doing it because of the rumbles of the road beneath them. 328 00:18:38,796 --> 00:18:40,956 It wakens things. 329 00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:44,876 No, I think the being in public is the main motivator. 330 00:18:48,136 --> 00:18:48,576 No. 331 00:18:48,896 --> 00:18:49,196 No? 332 00:18:50,136 --> 00:18:50,596 Nope. 333 00:18:50,876 --> 00:18:51,836 I'm telling you how it is. 334 00:18:52,316 --> 00:18:52,896 Oh, okay. 335 00:18:53,596 --> 00:18:55,036 That's why I don't take public transportation. 336 00:18:55,196 --> 00:18:55,556 The risk. 337 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:56,776 The risk of the rumble. 338 00:18:57,576 --> 00:18:58,756 Because you're a good citizen. 339 00:18:59,096 --> 00:18:59,296 Yeah. 340 00:18:59,816 --> 00:19:00,256 Yeah. 341 00:19:00,756 --> 00:19:01,856 Also cameras and stuff. 342 00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:06,016 Oh, so it's really more the fear of getting caught. 343 00:19:06,816 --> 00:19:07,316 It's both. 344 00:19:07,756 --> 00:19:09,556 You can be good and you can be scared. 345 00:19:10,956 --> 00:19:25,776 um okay so uh so this will somehow magically prevent that yes yes it will without magic 346 00:19:25,776 --> 00:19:32,756 so wait does that imply that the helicopter ride the train helicopter ride is going to be 347 00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:42,216 so um it's gonna be so chaotic that people are gonna need to hold on with two hands 348 00:19:42,216 --> 00:19:50,416 yep well it's fine too it's like a little bit woozy woozy travel what about for the people 349 00:19:50,416 --> 00:19:56,756 who get airsick or carsick what about the people who don't like bean soup they don't eat bean soup 350 00:19:56,756 --> 00:19:58,216 that don't go on our thing. 351 00:19:58,376 --> 00:19:58,876 You know what I mean? 352 00:19:59,476 --> 00:20:03,236 But you are pitching this as a way to help the masses. 353 00:20:03,516 --> 00:20:05,016 I'm sure there are people who get card sick 354 00:20:05,016 --> 00:20:07,116 who ride on the subway. 355 00:20:07,996 --> 00:20:08,276 Okay? 356 00:20:08,336 --> 00:20:09,056 You need to get somewhere. 357 00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,256 You're just going to have to bring a vomit bag. 358 00:20:10,356 --> 00:20:11,176 I don't know what to tell you. 359 00:20:11,896 --> 00:20:12,636 I'm not God. 360 00:20:16,276 --> 00:20:17,656 I can't solve every problem. 361 00:20:17,656 --> 00:20:19,896 I can only use numbers and symbols. 362 00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:21,176 So, okay. 363 00:20:21,276 --> 00:20:23,536 So this is better than a train 364 00:20:23,536 --> 00:20:25,696 because people aren't building trains? 365 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,096 Yes, the government won't do it. 366 00:20:29,076 --> 00:20:29,396 I don't know. 367 00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:31,716 I feel like they keep trying to force new light rail on us. 368 00:20:33,936 --> 00:20:40,016 Yeah, but not in the way I want. 369 00:20:40,316 --> 00:20:41,496 What about an elevated train? 370 00:20:41,996 --> 00:20:42,876 You know I'm all about it. 371 00:20:42,876 --> 00:20:48,136 Less light rail, more white bread to cushion our transport. 372 00:20:48,676 --> 00:20:54,976 I think we just found our shouting campaign thing in front of City Hall. 373 00:20:54,976 --> 00:21:03,216 less light rail more white bread to cushion our falls thank you joe 374 00:21:03,216 --> 00:21:11,276 okay this is better than an elevated train i understand not creating a subway that's a lot 375 00:21:11,276 --> 00:21:17,196 of infrastructure that needs to be that's like a lot of hard work um for an established city 376 00:21:17,196 --> 00:21:23,776 we can't do it here because of our caliche because of what our caliche what what what 377 00:21:23,776 --> 00:21:30,076 our thick clay-like soil oh i have not heard that term before let me say it again caliche 378 00:21:30,076 --> 00:21:32,856 okay 379 00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:45,616 okay noted literally yeah 380 00:21:45,616 --> 00:21:52,576 um what were you okay what were we naming this thing my first thought was 381 00:21:52,576 --> 00:21:54,296 we 382 00:21:54,296 --> 00:21:57,936 because of us 383 00:21:57,936 --> 00:21:59,616 being on it 384 00:21:59,616 --> 00:22:01,616 because we're all on it 385 00:22:01,616 --> 00:22:03,756 cute right 386 00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:06,316 why do I call it us 387 00:22:06,316 --> 00:22:08,156 because we also 388 00:22:08,156 --> 00:22:09,676 as the like fun 389 00:22:09,676 --> 00:22:11,516 hands of of course you know 390 00:22:11,516 --> 00:22:13,536 we should start saying us 391 00:22:13,536 --> 00:22:14,496 when we have fun though 392 00:22:14,496 --> 00:22:16,536 I'm down 393 00:22:16,536 --> 00:22:20,416 do you have any backups 394 00:22:20,416 --> 00:22:21,376 Joe's usually the 395 00:22:21,376 --> 00:22:29,096 the naming einstein that's right we were calling it the super way super way because it's subway but 396 00:22:29,096 --> 00:22:37,036 super way yes yes yes um this is a side note but you saying we just reminded me 397 00:22:37,036 --> 00:22:43,196 yesterday there were plumbers at our house and they were doing like hydro jet cleaning of inside 398 00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:50,716 our pipes it's like blasting water into it and i was inside the house and um uh 399 00:22:50,716 --> 00:22:52,896 I heard one of them be like alright ready 400 00:22:52,896 --> 00:22:54,976 like a ready let go and then 401 00:22:54,976 --> 00:22:56,816 the other guy goes we 402 00:22:56,816 --> 00:23:00,036 it was funny to me 403 00:23:00,036 --> 00:23:01,656 that would have been me as the plumber 404 00:23:01,656 --> 00:23:03,456 anyway that was a side note 405 00:23:03,456 --> 00:23:05,636 okay so the super way 406 00:23:05,636 --> 00:23:07,256 super way is cute 407 00:23:07,256 --> 00:23:09,596 why don't they call elevated trains that 408 00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:13,056 I don't know Jenna 409 00:23:13,056 --> 00:23:15,356 I don't know why I'm looking at you 410 00:23:15,356 --> 00:23:17,536 super bus is cute too right super bus 411 00:23:17,536 --> 00:23:19,156 wait yeah they 412 00:23:19,156 --> 00:23:25,716 they call those super buses don't they do they those like elevated maybe 413 00:23:25,716 --> 00:23:32,996 i don't know sorry sorry for looking at you like it was your fault that they're not named that joe 414 00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:35,636 we know the power you have and refuse to use 415 00:23:35,636 --> 00:23:47,696 baby are you down um okay well um you'd ride it right i'd ride it sure if it existed yeah i'd ride 416 00:23:47,696 --> 00:23:52,776 it of course all of this is going to exist existence yeah i kind of actually hope that 417 00:23:52,776 --> 00:23:57,516 it falls out of the air just so i can experience this so you want to see the foam in action well i 418 00:23:57,516 --> 00:24:06,616 i i people will so quickly freak the f out because of claustrophobia and just the panic 419 00:24:06,616 --> 00:24:10,396 that sets in from feeling like you're trapped and you're never going to be able to get out again 420 00:24:10,396 --> 00:24:18,196 well only one way to find out okay so interestingly the super bus was or maybe it's pronounced 421 00:24:18,196 --> 00:24:23,216 superbus i don't know but it was a dutch like high speed electric luxury transport 422 00:24:23,216 --> 00:24:28,736 vehicle concept uh and it was designed to carry 23 people at a time at 423 00:24:28,736 --> 00:24:35,276 250 kilometers an hour which is 155 miles per hour nice on dedicated super lanes alongside 424 00:24:35,276 --> 00:24:42,116 highways featuring a sleek carbon fiber body so it looks really cool um and as far as the status 425 00:24:42,116 --> 00:24:46,736 it says the project which receives significant public and private funding developed and tested 426 00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:51,296 prototypes demonstrate impressive capabilities however the extensive infrastructure required for 427 00:24:51,296 --> 00:24:55,856 its high speeds meant it was it remained a concept rather than a widely deployed transport solution 428 00:24:55,856 --> 00:25:01,856 like the high-speed rail in in california it's lost like hundreds of billions of dollars and not 429 00:25:01,856 --> 00:25:03,456 a single track has been laid. 430 00:25:03,816 --> 00:25:05,656 Just give it to us. I know. 431 00:25:06,396 --> 00:25:07,636 You know how great it would be if you could take 432 00:25:07,636 --> 00:25:09,296 a high-speed rail 433 00:25:09,296 --> 00:25:11,556 from Phoenix to San Diego? It'd be awesome. 434 00:25:12,196 --> 00:25:13,856 Yeah. And you'd think 435 00:25:13,856 --> 00:25:15,796 hundreds of billions of dollars would have gotten it. 436 00:25:15,836 --> 00:25:16,736 Ooh, that's cool looking. 437 00:25:17,236 --> 00:25:19,316 It looks like an eggplant 438 00:25:19,316 --> 00:25:21,196 with wheels. 439 00:25:21,596 --> 00:25:21,836 Yeah. 440 00:25:23,336 --> 00:25:24,136 I love it. 441 00:25:25,676 --> 00:25:27,776 Look it up, listeners. It looks cool. 442 00:25:28,416 --> 00:25:29,636 The Dutch Superbus. 443 00:25:29,636 --> 00:25:38,176 um well there it is where the dutch have failed we shall succeed yes we 444 00:25:38,176 --> 00:25:44,736 us okay well i guess that wraps up the invention of the week 445 00:25:44,736 --> 00:25:53,256 it's time now for our next segment freaky thursday 446 00:25:53,256 --> 00:26:00,836 Oh my god, this Thursday is so freaky. 447 00:26:03,836 --> 00:26:10,696 In this segment, one of us, namely Francis, is going to start a story. 448 00:26:11,816 --> 00:26:17,736 If at any point in time I could jump in and say the same word Francis is about to say at the same time, 449 00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:20,316 then we switch and I need to continue telling the story. 450 00:26:20,316 --> 00:26:22,816 And then Francis has to try and jump back in. 451 00:26:23,256 --> 00:26:24,236 Back and forth. 452 00:26:25,056 --> 00:26:26,076 Until the story's over. 453 00:26:26,196 --> 00:26:26,956 Or one of us dies. 454 00:26:27,396 --> 00:26:27,856 Oh, okay. 455 00:26:29,396 --> 00:26:31,356 Jody, you have bets on which one's going to happen first? 456 00:26:32,336 --> 00:26:36,296 Well, I plan to kill one of you, so I don't think that this is a fair bet. 457 00:26:37,136 --> 00:26:38,736 Hey, well, use your insider knowledge. 458 00:26:39,036 --> 00:26:40,916 Yeah, this is the time to let it shine. 459 00:26:41,056 --> 00:26:42,196 I don't play that way. 460 00:26:42,516 --> 00:26:42,876 Okay. 461 00:26:43,796 --> 00:26:46,156 He looked really menacing audience just now, just so you know. 462 00:26:46,316 --> 00:26:46,576 Yep. 463 00:26:46,916 --> 00:26:47,576 He scared us. 464 00:26:48,776 --> 00:26:50,156 And he pulled out a shotgun. 465 00:26:52,716 --> 00:26:53,116 Okay. 466 00:26:53,256 --> 00:26:54,316 So I'm going to begin a story. 467 00:26:54,516 --> 00:26:54,756 Okay. 468 00:26:55,516 --> 00:27:00,116 You may not know this about me, but I was a super Harry Potter head. 469 00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:04,876 And I was obsessed to the point where it was my entire personality. 470 00:27:05,916 --> 00:27:10,856 And when the movies were, or sorry, when the books were being released, you'd have to wait a long time. 471 00:27:11,776 --> 00:27:13,956 But they had these events that you would go to. 472 00:27:15,416 --> 00:27:16,836 So the book was being released at midnight. 473 00:27:17,576 --> 00:27:22,736 So there would be a long line around the block and people would be waiting for the doors to open. 474 00:27:22,736 --> 00:27:23,216 Oh, okay. 475 00:27:23,256 --> 00:27:29,996 and um i remember one time i got in right at midnight and i was like not very i was kind of 476 00:27:29,996 --> 00:27:38,076 close to the beginning of the line and you were dressed like hagrid yeah oh and um no they had 477 00:27:38,076 --> 00:27:48,756 activities and one of those activities was to create your own magic wand and so uh i 478 00:27:48,756 --> 00:27:55,636 pulled out so i got to the front of the line where they were had the magic wand creating station 479 00:27:55,636 --> 00:28:04,976 and uh right then and there i pulled out a box of licorice burrillo spaghetti 480 00:28:04,976 --> 00:28:14,636 and i said you can't stop me i'm gonna make every single one of these a wand and 481 00:28:14,636 --> 00:28:17,996 And the employee at the event was like, 482 00:28:18,236 --> 00:28:18,396 No. 483 00:28:19,076 --> 00:28:20,416 Damn, he found a loophole. 484 00:28:21,436 --> 00:28:30,372 And they proceeded to have to sit there and watch me take each strand Spaghetti 485 00:28:34,372 --> 00:28:35,252 Of spaghetti. 486 00:28:36,832 --> 00:28:38,112 Which is a great pasta. 487 00:28:38,872 --> 00:28:40,112 And create my magic wand. 488 00:28:41,832 --> 00:28:44,992 While I was halfway through, we ran out of supplies, 489 00:28:45,292 --> 00:28:47,372 and there was a lot of children crying as a result. 490 00:28:47,812 --> 00:28:49,852 But I'm a Slytherin, and I didn't care. 491 00:28:49,852 --> 00:28:53,752 as a matter of fact I broke all the wands in front of them 492 00:28:53,752 --> 00:28:55,032 and laughed 493 00:28:55,032 --> 00:28:58,592 so did you 494 00:28:58,592 --> 00:29:01,112 I didn't say emphatically enough keep going 495 00:29:01,112 --> 00:29:03,452 anyway they let me continue 496 00:29:03,452 --> 00:29:05,352 anyway I got the book at midnight 497 00:29:05,352 --> 00:29:07,332 and we went home 498 00:29:07,332 --> 00:29:09,712 and I immediately started to read it 499 00:29:09,712 --> 00:29:14,212 and the weird thing was 500 00:29:14,212 --> 00:29:16,192 I had all of my spaghetti wands 501 00:29:16,192 --> 00:29:24,772 and I was playing with the spaghetti wands while I was reading opening the book 502 00:29:24,772 --> 00:29:35,332 and I as I opened to the very first chapter I dropped my spaghetti wands and then suddenly 503 00:29:35,332 --> 00:29:43,752 the words on the page started to jumble up and change and then I was and then they rearranged 504 00:29:43,752 --> 00:29:53,132 themselves and then the introduction page said for jenna francis because i am you in this story 505 00:29:53,132 --> 00:30:07,572 i have taken over yeah and i open up the first chapter and it says francis you boy 506 00:30:07,572 --> 00:30:10,032 who lived 507 00:30:10,032 --> 00:30:12,892 ruined a night 508 00:30:12,892 --> 00:30:14,372 for a bunch of children. 509 00:30:16,332 --> 00:30:17,312 Which did hurt 510 00:30:17,312 --> 00:30:19,312 my feelings a bit, but also 511 00:30:19,312 --> 00:30:21,172 I didn't really care. 512 00:30:22,592 --> 00:30:23,332 So I kept 513 00:30:23,332 --> 00:30:24,072 reading and it 514 00:30:24,072 --> 00:30:27,272 said that actually I was 515 00:30:27,272 --> 00:30:29,312 also a wizard, which seemed 516 00:30:29,312 --> 00:30:30,572 a little on the nose because 517 00:30:30,572 --> 00:30:33,332 like what are 518 00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:34,872 the odds? Get a new idea. Yeah. 519 00:30:35,092 --> 00:30:37,292 Come on. But I was 520 00:30:37,292 --> 00:30:43,052 willing to keep reading because it was about me and that's cool and uh but things got a little 521 00:30:43,052 --> 00:30:47,412 weird because it was uh it wasn't just like oh here's your invitation to magic school it was like 522 00:30:47,412 --> 00:30:53,712 i need you to commit this dark heinous crime and then you can get your birthright and i was like 523 00:30:53,712 --> 00:31:10,992 what but i wanted my birthright so i had to do it so i went to the local food city 524 00:31:10,992 --> 00:31:19,272 which is where this heinous crime was going to take place and i purchased all the baby food 525 00:31:19,272 --> 00:31:22,792 and threw it into the dumpster as per the instructions. 526 00:31:24,352 --> 00:31:32,432 And then tons of mothers arrived screaming hungry babies in tow. 527 00:31:32,892 --> 00:31:38,352 And they went to the food city and they're like, quickly, my baby's about to starve. 528 00:31:39,132 --> 00:31:41,232 And I was like, shut up. 529 00:31:41,532 --> 00:31:42,792 You know what your babies aren't? 530 00:31:43,192 --> 00:31:43,672 Wizards. 531 00:31:44,092 --> 00:31:47,952 And then I laughed and I turned back and I said, check the dumpster. 532 00:31:49,272 --> 00:31:51,812 and then I laughed some more. 533 00:31:52,352 --> 00:31:53,732 And then while they were checking the dumpster, 534 00:31:53,812 --> 00:31:58,152 I said it on time. 535 00:31:59,032 --> 00:32:00,572 While they were checking the dumpster, 536 00:32:00,992 --> 00:32:05,152 you started throwing your excess spaghetti wands at them and laughing even 537 00:32:05,152 --> 00:32:05,572 more. 538 00:32:06,392 --> 00:32:10,712 And as the wands hit their weary backs, 539 00:32:10,712 --> 00:32:13,732 as they were scurrying through the dumpster, 540 00:32:14,792 --> 00:32:16,932 the babies cried louder and louder. 541 00:32:16,932 --> 00:32:19,292 and you decided 542 00:32:19,292 --> 00:32:23,472 and you decided 543 00:32:23,472 --> 00:32:27,392 that you were going to take these children 544 00:32:27,392 --> 00:32:30,112 and make them wizards. 545 00:32:31,332 --> 00:32:33,732 And so you thought, 546 00:32:34,192 --> 00:32:35,652 screw Hogwarts. 547 00:32:36,312 --> 00:32:39,132 I'm going to create my own wizarding academy. 548 00:32:40,772 --> 00:32:42,872 And so you took all of these 549 00:32:42,872 --> 00:32:44,652 stolen starving babies 550 00:32:44,652 --> 00:32:53,492 and you shepherded them into an abandoned tuna factory. 551 00:32:54,492 --> 00:32:59,932 And you said, babies, I'm going to make y'all wizards. 552 00:33:03,112 --> 00:33:06,472 And the babies suddenly weren't hungry anymore. 553 00:33:06,692 --> 00:33:09,472 And they snapped to attention. 554 00:33:09,472 --> 00:33:23,472 There was something about the command in my voice that made them really want to listen and see what I was all about. 555 00:33:24,072 --> 00:33:26,552 Also, they were in keto now, so they weren't hungry anymore. 556 00:33:28,892 --> 00:33:33,972 And once the danger of hunger and the distraction of hunger was behind them, we could really get to work. 557 00:33:34,732 --> 00:33:36,232 So we developed a plan. 558 00:33:36,232 --> 00:33:39,292 these babies would go out into the world 559 00:33:39,292 --> 00:33:40,492 and find 560 00:33:40,492 --> 00:33:42,012 babyless mothers 561 00:33:42,012 --> 00:33:45,232 and cry in front of them 562 00:33:45,232 --> 00:33:46,812 and when the milk 563 00:33:46,812 --> 00:33:49,372 when the mothers bent down 564 00:33:49,372 --> 00:33:50,652 to pick the babies up 565 00:33:50,652 --> 00:33:52,372 the babies would 566 00:33:52,372 --> 00:33:57,012 the babies would slap them 567 00:33:57,012 --> 00:33:59,412 and then the mothers would cry 568 00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:01,792 and then while the mothers were crying 569 00:34:01,792 --> 00:34:04,032 I would go to the mother food aisle 570 00:34:04,032 --> 00:34:07,372 and throw all of that food in the dumpster. 571 00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:12,232 And then, but oh no, plan backfired 572 00:34:12,232 --> 00:34:14,712 because now your army of baby wizards 573 00:34:14,712 --> 00:34:16,712 had all these mothers to take care of. 574 00:34:16,712 --> 00:34:19,212 So now the army of baby wizards 575 00:34:19,212 --> 00:34:21,712 brought the crying mothers to Food City. 576 00:34:22,072 --> 00:34:26,992 And they were like, well, quick, we need food for our husbands 577 00:34:26,992 --> 00:34:29,972 who have been silent this whole time. 578 00:34:30,652 --> 00:34:33,752 And then they wondered, should we all get divorced? 579 00:34:34,032 --> 00:34:38,152 meanwhile i'm back at my home watching all this from the food city cctv 580 00:34:38,152 --> 00:34:46,672 app and i was loving it i was loving it it was nothing but chaos and as you know for a new wizard 581 00:34:46,672 --> 00:34:52,572 chaos is supreme um so i looked at the book i had i went to the back and there was a phone number 582 00:34:52,572 --> 00:34:55,952 because i didn't want to read the whole thing and i called a number that was on the back it was 1-800 583 00:34:55,952 --> 00:35:03,852 wizard wizard and the operator on the other end said hello francis 584 00:35:03,852 --> 00:35:05,372 and I said 585 00:35:05,372 --> 00:35:07,552 how do you do 586 00:35:07,552 --> 00:35:09,972 alright 587 00:35:09,972 --> 00:35:11,912 hi I'm trying to reach JK 588 00:35:11,912 --> 00:35:14,212 I need to tell her about how my evil 589 00:35:14,212 --> 00:35:16,232 plan is going and the operator 590 00:35:16,232 --> 00:35:16,692 said 591 00:35:16,692 --> 00:35:20,692 what have you learned along the way 592 00:35:20,692 --> 00:35:22,232 and I said to the operator 593 00:35:22,232 --> 00:35:24,372 I learned that it 594 00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:26,512 doesn't pay to make mothers 595 00:35:26,512 --> 00:35:28,252 cry and it 596 00:35:28,252 --> 00:35:30,352 doesn't pay to try 597 00:35:30,352 --> 00:35:32,372 to make an army of wizards 598 00:35:32,372 --> 00:35:44,092 wizards wizards and then the operator said that's the incorrect answer 599 00:35:44,092 --> 00:35:57,312 my son i'm sorry you were supposed to have enjoyed your army of baby wizards and um i i just lost i 600 00:35:57,312 --> 00:36:02,492 had a mental breakdown because I just realized at this moment I did not take my antipsychotic 601 00:36:02,492 --> 00:36:09,432 medication this morning. And I started to wonder, how much of this is real? Did I really hurt babies 602 00:36:09,432 --> 00:36:14,692 and mothers? Who am I and who do I want to be? So first thing Monday morning, I made an appointment 603 00:36:14,692 --> 00:36:19,912 with my psychiatrist. Luckily, it could get me in the same day because I was their only client. 604 00:36:21,952 --> 00:36:25,812 And we talked for a while. I got a new subscription to a prescription. 605 00:36:25,812 --> 00:36:34,012 and the weirdest thing happened they um they hit on me they said francis i'd like to go out on a 606 00:36:34,012 --> 00:36:43,992 date which was super inappropriate awkward because i was only 14 607 00:36:43,992 --> 00:36:55,172 and someone that's 14 should not be dating their psychiatrist but then i thought what the hell i 608 00:36:55,172 --> 00:37:01,032 can't get in trouble they're gonna get in trouble and now i have an angle to blackmail them but i 609 00:37:01,032 --> 00:37:08,752 said all this out loud so they very quickly retracted the offer for a date so i went home 610 00:37:08,752 --> 00:37:17,512 asked all the remaining babies to leave asked a few mothers to stay and we watched dr phil 611 00:37:17,512 --> 00:37:33,812 And on this episode of Dr. Phil, the good man himself said, you out there on TV land, I got a message for all of you. 612 00:37:35,212 --> 00:37:36,012 Keep watching. 613 00:37:37,152 --> 00:37:37,792 Thanks. 614 00:37:38,412 --> 00:37:39,232 It was super poignant. 615 00:37:41,812 --> 00:37:44,052 My whole worldview started to change. 616 00:37:44,052 --> 00:37:47,112 and even though I felt like a normal person again 617 00:37:47,112 --> 00:37:48,792 in my heart I knew 618 00:37:48,792 --> 00:37:51,012 that part of me would always be 619 00:37:51,012 --> 00:37:52,152 a little wizard 620 00:37:52,152 --> 00:37:54,532 the end 621 00:37:54,532 --> 00:37:56,792 wow 622 00:37:56,792 --> 00:37:58,132 I can't believe that happened to you 623 00:37:58,132 --> 00:37:58,572 I know 624 00:37:58,572 --> 00:38:02,312 I remember hearing something about the baby food shortage at Food City 625 00:38:02,312 --> 00:38:04,132 but I didn't realize it was 626 00:38:04,132 --> 00:38:05,192 because of you 627 00:38:05,192 --> 00:38:07,812 I didn't know you at the time I just saw it on the news 628 00:38:07,812 --> 00:38:10,932 it was a super dark period and I don't really identify with that person anymore 629 00:38:10,932 --> 00:38:12,032 well thank god 630 00:38:12,032 --> 00:38:13,232 Dr. Phil 631 00:38:13,232 --> 00:38:15,152 pulled you out of it. 632 00:38:16,312 --> 00:38:17,892 What a man. You know the reason he's bald 633 00:38:17,892 --> 00:38:19,752 is because every time he helped someone a hair went away. 634 00:38:19,992 --> 00:38:21,872 Yeah. What a man 635 00:38:21,872 --> 00:38:24,012 what a man what a man what a mighty 636 00:38:24,012 --> 00:38:25,892 fun. Mighty mighty 637 00:38:25,892 --> 00:38:26,352 fun. 638 00:38:27,352 --> 00:38:28,072 Wow. 639 00:38:28,672 --> 00:38:28,992 Wow. 640 00:38:29,892 --> 00:38:32,172 I'm glad we made it through. 641 00:38:33,192 --> 00:38:33,672 Freaky 642 00:38:33,672 --> 00:38:34,592 Thursday. 643 00:38:37,272 --> 00:38:38,072 That was the 644 00:38:38,072 --> 00:38:39,912 freakiest Thursday I've ever 645 00:38:39,912 --> 00:38:40,652 had. 646 00:38:43,232 --> 00:38:43,912 Okay. 647 00:38:44,512 --> 00:38:46,732 It's time for one final segment. 648 00:38:48,592 --> 00:38:50,712 The Big Question. 649 00:38:52,012 --> 00:38:54,652 The question is very big. 650 00:38:55,652 --> 00:38:56,312 Do you have a question? 651 00:38:57,632 --> 00:38:58,232 No. 652 00:38:58,992 --> 00:38:59,592 It's okay. 653 00:38:59,652 --> 00:38:59,912 I do. 654 00:39:00,132 --> 00:39:00,432 Yay. 655 00:39:01,212 --> 00:39:01,432 Okay. 656 00:39:01,512 --> 00:39:08,752 I want you to come up with a few catchphrases and their meaning or like new expressions in 657 00:39:08,752 --> 00:39:11,412 society and like when you would use them. 658 00:39:13,232 --> 00:39:13,732 You know what I mean? 659 00:39:14,392 --> 00:39:15,432 Oh, yes. 660 00:39:15,912 --> 00:39:16,232 Okay. 661 00:39:20,232 --> 00:39:22,272 What a man, what a man, what a man. 662 00:39:22,292 --> 00:39:23,732 What a modified man. 663 00:39:32,172 --> 00:39:32,892 Here's one. 664 00:39:35,332 --> 00:39:36,252 Ficus time. 665 00:39:36,752 --> 00:39:37,012 Oh. 666 00:39:37,012 --> 00:39:46,172 that is when you you need to overhear somebody else's conversation but you can't be seen 667 00:39:46,172 --> 00:39:51,812 oh so it's ficus time i get it yeah uh it's like what does janice up to i don't know we 668 00:39:51,812 --> 00:39:57,912 managed to do a little ficus time that's great actually thanks oh your first one right at the 669 00:39:57,912 --> 00:40:06,992 gate ficus time yeah holy hell i came to i came to play my friend you did no you not came to play 670 00:40:06,992 --> 00:40:13,452 you came to you came to win okay um you came for the foam 671 00:40:13,452 --> 00:40:23,352 um do you have one i'll think of some more sure but if you have one we can go back and forth yeah 672 00:40:23,352 --> 00:40:27,312 that would be speaking of foam i think we should do something with foam so maybe like um 673 00:40:27,312 --> 00:40:38,712 catching foam or like i'm yeah catching foam what when when does that happen uh when things 674 00:40:38,712 --> 00:40:43,552 are about to get rocky like when the foam would release in one of our trains um you need to like 675 00:40:43,552 --> 00:40:50,692 lock in you know and hold steady so it's literally catching foam it's not a euphemism for something 676 00:40:50,692 --> 00:40:52,472 No. Kitchen phone. 677 00:40:53,312 --> 00:40:54,492 Sorry, I didn't know Ficus time. 678 00:40:55,752 --> 00:40:56,812 I've got one. 679 00:40:57,052 --> 00:40:57,352 Okay. 680 00:40:57,952 --> 00:40:58,792 Food dumpster. 681 00:40:59,712 --> 00:41:02,652 It's for when a bunch of people want something 682 00:41:02,652 --> 00:41:04,052 and they're all clawing at it. 683 00:41:05,192 --> 00:41:06,192 Food dumpster? 684 00:41:06,192 --> 00:41:08,532 Yeah, like the new iPhone model 685 00:41:08,532 --> 00:41:09,292 that just came out. 686 00:41:09,412 --> 00:41:10,792 Oh, a total food dumpster. 687 00:41:10,952 --> 00:41:12,172 Everyone wants it. 688 00:41:13,592 --> 00:41:15,192 They're all crying for it. 689 00:41:15,692 --> 00:41:17,212 Like a bunch of babies. 690 00:41:17,692 --> 00:41:18,192 Or mothers. 691 00:41:18,192 --> 00:41:20,872 and I asked a few of the mothers to stay. 692 00:41:23,072 --> 00:41:23,312 Okay. 693 00:41:36,132 --> 00:41:37,572 Shadow life. 694 00:41:39,012 --> 00:41:41,652 Shadow life is, you know, 695 00:41:42,292 --> 00:41:45,152 Plato's The Cave, 696 00:41:45,152 --> 00:41:51,932 where people just see shadows and they think it's what's happening in real life 697 00:41:51,932 --> 00:41:59,212 shadow life is is anyone who's just in denial he's living a total shadow life my man 698 00:41:59,212 --> 00:42:03,832 i think the phrase shadow life already exists oh i hope that's not your word 699 00:42:03,832 --> 00:42:11,232 no it's not i'll give you a pass on that one um because it's like when you live a double life 700 00:42:11,232 --> 00:42:16,292 that's like a i thought that was just like if you were like living in the shadow like no one 701 00:42:16,292 --> 00:42:22,112 knows you i i'm reappropriating the term shadow not every one of these can be ficus time 702 00:42:22,112 --> 00:42:26,352 oh okay i see how it is i'm just saying yeah yeah but 703 00:42:26,352 --> 00:42:33,072 um what about um 704 00:42:33,072 --> 00:42:37,632 What? 705 00:42:38,212 --> 00:42:45,908 What about He a real unibrow What does it mean 706 00:42:49,488 --> 00:43:00,707 It means, um, a guy who he looks, he, he looks like he's got two, two eyes. 707 00:43:01,768 --> 00:43:07,128 He looks like you see him with two eyes, but no, he's singularly focused. 708 00:43:07,128 --> 00:43:08,188 he's a real unibrow 709 00:43:08,188 --> 00:43:12,207 okay 710 00:43:12,207 --> 00:43:13,768 okay 711 00:43:13,768 --> 00:43:15,368 that's interesting 712 00:43:15,368 --> 00:43:18,428 what about 713 00:43:18,428 --> 00:43:23,428 you're gonna be saying that all the time now 714 00:43:23,428 --> 00:43:24,608 yeah maybe 715 00:43:24,608 --> 00:43:26,207 what about 716 00:43:26,207 --> 00:43:29,948 Juice Magoo 717 00:43:29,948 --> 00:43:35,108 it's someone who bungles everything 718 00:43:35,108 --> 00:43:36,988 but they do it so sweetly 719 00:43:36,988 --> 00:43:42,248 or like always well-intentioned you know like i know they were trying but they messed up 720 00:43:43,148 --> 00:43:49,388 yeah yeah juice magoo that's good i think that'll catch on that's a good one okay 721 00:43:49,388 --> 00:43:53,968 um hello zeitgeist 722 00:43:53,968 --> 00:43:55,207 as Juvia used to say 723 00:43:55,207 --> 00:44:07,188 tentacle freeze 724 00:44:07,188 --> 00:44:10,248 that's when 725 00:44:10,248 --> 00:44:13,148 that's when you have 726 00:44:13,148 --> 00:44:15,548 like a lot of projects going on 727 00:44:15,548 --> 00:44:18,168 but you can't finish any of them 728 00:44:18,168 --> 00:44:20,848 it's like you got a lot of tentacles 729 00:44:20,848 --> 00:44:22,628 going all which ways 730 00:44:22,628 --> 00:44:23,008 but then 731 00:44:23,008 --> 00:44:23,588 that's good 732 00:44:24,068 --> 00:44:25,207 It's a real tentacle freeze. 733 00:44:25,368 --> 00:44:28,888 Like there's so much going on that you can't know what to do? 734 00:44:29,048 --> 00:44:29,968 I have tentacle freeze. 735 00:44:30,188 --> 00:44:31,568 I can't finish anything. 736 00:44:31,748 --> 00:44:33,448 I've started eight different projects. 737 00:44:34,348 --> 00:44:35,207 Yeah, that's good. 738 00:44:35,388 --> 00:44:35,788 That's good. 739 00:44:39,008 --> 00:44:39,788 What about... 740 00:44:44,788 --> 00:44:45,727 Table tooth. 741 00:44:48,388 --> 00:44:53,308 It's when you invite someone new to your group, but they talk too much. 742 00:44:54,388 --> 00:44:54,788 Oh. 743 00:44:55,068 --> 00:44:55,328 You know? 744 00:44:55,348 --> 00:44:55,548 Yeah. 745 00:44:55,608 --> 00:44:57,428 Like I was trying to give you a chance to be in our group. 746 00:44:57,727 --> 00:44:59,548 And then no, it's like you're exhausting. 747 00:44:59,848 --> 00:45:00,028 Yeah. 748 00:45:03,028 --> 00:45:03,468 Yeah. 749 00:45:03,868 --> 00:45:04,268 Yeah. 750 00:45:04,508 --> 00:45:05,408 It's not worth it. 751 00:45:05,548 --> 00:45:05,768 Yeah. 752 00:45:13,768 --> 00:45:19,808 How about a silent scream? 753 00:45:21,008 --> 00:45:23,248 That's when you make eye contact. 754 00:45:23,588 --> 00:45:33,008 you make eye contact with um uh a friend of yours like when you're in a public situation 755 00:45:33,008 --> 00:45:38,588 and you both know you're thinking the same thing we just silent screamed okay i feel like that 756 00:45:38,588 --> 00:45:44,548 it's pretty close to a real thing but but we're putting words to it and that's good yeah 757 00:45:44,548 --> 00:45:51,008 yeah well what what you mean the what it means or the silent scream or like silent screaming is 758 00:45:51,008 --> 00:45:56,048 like a thing no i'm reappropriating it because i want it to be fun i don't want it to be about 759 00:45:56,048 --> 00:46:01,148 screaming i want it to be like it was so loud to both of us but you know that thing where you like 760 00:46:01,148 --> 00:46:05,188 kind of like side eye your friend and then you both like raise eyebrows because you you know 761 00:46:05,188 --> 00:46:13,128 you're both thinking the same thing that's a silent scream i got one okay condom popping 762 00:46:13,128 --> 00:46:21,568 is that where you're trying to trick a man into marrying you no no it's when you're with your 763 00:46:21,568 --> 00:46:26,568 friends and you see someone really hot in public and you point to him you're like condom popping 764 00:46:26,568 --> 00:46:34,048 condom popping yeah implying that you would pop a condom oh i thought it meant like just wood 765 00:46:34,048 --> 00:46:43,928 slug bug hottie which by the way i i really love the just saying wood i don't know i don't know 766 00:46:43,928 --> 00:46:48,188 why it's very funny to me um and no one will ever know which one you're referring to 767 00:46:48,188 --> 00:46:58,227 maybe there's a u and an l in it yeah maybe maybe it's l woods from legally blonde no one will ever 768 00:46:58,227 --> 00:47:08,227 know uh i have one for when you when we've been saying the name first and then saying what it's 769 00:47:08,227 --> 00:47:14,188 for i want to try saying what it's for first saying the name uh when you try to think of 770 00:47:14,188 --> 00:47:17,688 something in the moment and then like you forget about it and then a week later you remember what 771 00:47:17,688 --> 00:47:24,908 it is last week's lottery oh lwl 772 00:47:24,908 --> 00:47:36,768 situation um that's good so i was smart to think of the situation first as opposed to working 773 00:47:36,768 --> 00:47:41,608 backwards from the phrase which is what i've been doing we wouldn't have gotten ficus time 774 00:47:41,608 --> 00:47:45,707 without that that's true we'll always have ficus time 775 00:47:45,707 --> 00:47:49,888 um um 776 00:47:49,888 --> 00:47:57,268 no i can't work i can't work that way i gotta i can't come up with something 777 00:47:57,268 --> 00:48:00,108 that needs fixing and then me have a phrase for it 778 00:48:00,748 --> 00:48:09,828 zucchini fingers go on that's um a person who 779 00:48:09,828 --> 00:48:13,207 has really chubby fingers, 780 00:48:13,468 --> 00:48:14,908 but the rest of their body 781 00:48:14,908 --> 00:48:17,608 isn't proportional to their chubby fingers. 782 00:48:18,088 --> 00:48:18,448 Okay. 783 00:48:18,648 --> 00:48:19,448 Because it's like, 784 00:48:19,788 --> 00:48:21,248 sometimes people use zucchini 785 00:48:21,248 --> 00:48:22,468 as a substitute for meat. 786 00:48:23,388 --> 00:48:24,168 That's true. 787 00:48:24,448 --> 00:48:24,568 Yeah. 788 00:48:24,748 --> 00:48:25,488 So it's like, 789 00:48:25,568 --> 00:48:26,948 they look like they're meaty fingers, 790 00:48:27,048 --> 00:48:28,308 but the rest of their body isn't meaty, 791 00:48:28,348 --> 00:48:29,168 so it's fake meat. 792 00:48:30,568 --> 00:48:31,488 Zucchini fingers. 793 00:48:32,488 --> 00:48:33,008 Okay. 794 00:48:33,288 --> 00:48:33,768 That's nice. 795 00:48:34,048 --> 00:48:34,668 Thank you. 796 00:48:35,227 --> 00:48:35,948 What about, 797 00:48:35,948 --> 00:48:39,968 ranch bastard. 798 00:48:41,227 --> 00:48:43,028 You know how people put ranch on things 799 00:48:43,028 --> 00:48:44,368 and other people judge them? Yeah. 800 00:48:45,428 --> 00:48:46,768 It's for a person that judges 801 00:48:46,768 --> 00:48:48,828 something you like. So it's like 802 00:48:48,828 --> 00:48:50,428 a grammar Nazi for 803 00:48:50,428 --> 00:48:53,188 food. For food. A ranch bastard? 804 00:48:53,368 --> 00:48:54,727 That's good. That's real good. 805 00:48:55,588 --> 00:48:56,548 That'll catch on. 806 00:48:56,548 --> 00:48:56,948 Yeah. 807 00:48:59,128 --> 00:49:00,248 Yeah, that's real good. 808 00:49:00,688 --> 00:49:01,748 That's your trellis time. 809 00:49:01,748 --> 00:49:10,888 what did you just say that's your trellis time why are you saying wait not trellis 810 00:49:10,888 --> 00:49:14,648 ficus god 811 00:49:14,648 --> 00:49:26,548 trellis time trellis time is when if you're listening and we know you are trellis time is when 812 00:49:26,548 --> 00:49:34,128 when you have that late afternoon feeling 813 00:49:34,128 --> 00:49:39,848 and you just, it's that early or late afternoon glass of wine. 814 00:49:40,028 --> 00:49:40,707 It's trellis time. 815 00:49:40,848 --> 00:49:43,968 Because it's like you're sitting under a trellis in Italy. 816 00:49:44,628 --> 00:49:46,888 I thought it was going to be it's ficus time, 817 00:49:46,968 --> 00:49:50,068 but when you have to spy on someone from above instead of horizontally. 818 00:49:50,468 --> 00:49:51,008 That would be good. 819 00:49:51,128 --> 00:49:51,668 Super spy. 820 00:49:52,108 --> 00:49:52,328 Yeah. 821 00:49:54,048 --> 00:49:55,588 I don't know why I said trellis. 822 00:49:55,588 --> 00:49:56,028 I'm sorry. 823 00:49:56,028 --> 00:49:57,608 I think that's because I'm looking at one. 824 00:49:58,207 --> 00:49:58,408 Maybe. 825 00:49:58,928 --> 00:49:59,448 Could be. 826 00:50:01,388 --> 00:50:03,008 Do you have any other catchphrases? 827 00:50:05,748 --> 00:50:06,188 Nope. 828 00:50:07,088 --> 00:50:07,488 All right. 829 00:50:07,808 --> 00:50:09,388 Sorry, I got distracted for a second there. 830 00:50:09,727 --> 00:50:12,468 I think we can end on Ranch Bastard. 831 00:50:12,548 --> 00:50:14,268 I think that was a good one. 832 00:50:14,328 --> 00:50:14,668 That's great. 833 00:50:15,388 --> 00:50:17,688 That wraps up the big question. 834 00:50:18,048 --> 00:50:18,707 The big question. 835 00:50:19,428 --> 00:50:19,828 All right. 836 00:50:21,768 --> 00:50:22,668 Hey, you. 837 00:50:23,168 --> 00:50:23,608 Yeah. 838 00:50:24,528 --> 00:50:24,868 Okay. 839 00:50:24,868 --> 00:50:26,868 One last bit of business. 840 00:50:27,148 --> 00:50:27,568 Yep. 841 00:50:27,788 --> 00:50:29,088 We all know what it is. 842 00:50:29,207 --> 00:50:30,268 Everyone waits for it. 843 00:50:31,888 --> 00:50:33,128 Secret words. 844 00:50:33,308 --> 00:50:34,328 Secret words. 845 00:50:35,727 --> 00:50:36,808 You want me to make some guesses? 846 00:50:37,348 --> 00:50:37,707 Sure. 847 00:50:38,848 --> 00:50:40,668 I wrote down sexier. 848 00:50:42,668 --> 00:50:45,028 No, I don't even remember saying sexier. 849 00:50:45,428 --> 00:50:46,568 Maybe it was a state of being. 850 00:50:48,348 --> 00:50:50,528 I also wrote down... 851 00:50:50,528 --> 00:50:54,288 You think I was just being my secret word? 852 00:50:54,288 --> 00:50:56,528 you were embodying it yeah okay it's crazy 853 00:50:56,528 --> 00:51:05,988 i wrote down potbelly no i was legitimately talking about potbelly the sandwich shop next 854 00:51:05,988 --> 00:51:14,788 to the fedex i wrote down you're welcome potbelly if you're listening we know you are we have 855 00:51:14,788 --> 00:51:21,308 advertising opportunities available for you that one was a freebie watch as your numbers go up 856 00:51:21,308 --> 00:51:26,648 big time, your sales are going to increase by a good 3% to 5%. 857 00:51:26,648 --> 00:51:30,588 Then you're going to come call and you're going to want a regular spot on this show. 858 00:51:30,808 --> 00:51:35,368 Let's just say you're going to see a lot more hot, rich 30 to 50-year-old women pretty soon. 859 00:51:35,468 --> 00:51:36,868 Next door to your store. 860 00:51:36,868 --> 00:51:37,348 No, no, no. 861 00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,868 They're going to start coming in because they heard this episode. 862 00:51:40,308 --> 00:51:40,727 All right. 863 00:51:40,727 --> 00:51:43,948 Hot, rich 30 to 50-year-old women, if you're listening, and we know you are. 864 00:51:44,388 --> 00:51:45,808 Don't make liars out of us. 865 00:51:46,148 --> 00:51:46,328 Yeah. 866 00:51:47,268 --> 00:51:48,648 I wrote down the word shadow. 867 00:51:48,648 --> 00:51:57,628 you know this one really scares me because i said it a bunch ficus no i thought you were 868 00:51:57,628 --> 00:52:02,088 gonna guess trellis i thought you were doing some fancy i thought you were saying trellis 869 00:52:02,088 --> 00:52:06,828 so that i would say ficus another time you mean ficus and you could be like oh i wish i was that 870 00:52:06,828 --> 00:52:12,707 clever you are that clever that's why i worry no do you want to know what my words were yes i do 871 00:52:12,707 --> 00:52:16,008 my secret word was consenting 872 00:52:16,008 --> 00:52:20,128 and I used it 873 00:52:20,128 --> 00:52:22,288 before we even introed the show 874 00:52:22,288 --> 00:52:24,207 I said whatever happens in the back 875 00:52:24,207 --> 00:52:26,168 of that FedEx between consenting adults 876 00:52:26,168 --> 00:52:27,868 it's not my business 877 00:52:27,868 --> 00:52:30,048 the word consenting should never be secret 878 00:52:30,048 --> 00:52:32,668 okay 879 00:52:32,668 --> 00:52:33,468 and 880 00:52:33,468 --> 00:52:35,568 my decoy word 881 00:52:35,568 --> 00:52:38,108 was 14 882 00:52:38,108 --> 00:52:41,048 that's why you said that 883 00:52:41,048 --> 00:52:41,888 yes 884 00:52:41,888 --> 00:52:47,008 yep why was that why did that word get populated that's such an interesting 885 00:52:47,008 --> 00:52:51,088 suggestion and literally right after consenting 886 00:52:52,068 --> 00:52:58,688 that's true your your suggestion general i'm not saying any more than that i'm just pointing out 887 00:52:58,688 --> 00:53:04,748 a fact of what happened yeah um but also it kind of fit i i should have used it in a weirder context 888 00:53:04,748 --> 00:53:10,207 because you said you were waiting for the harry potter books to come out so you were a child in 889 00:53:10,207 --> 00:53:17,588 the story and so then you're now dating your therapist anyway okay it worked too well you did 890 00:53:17,588 --> 00:53:23,888 a great job as per usual thanks as per usual i saw you writing some things down and sometimes i 891 00:53:23,888 --> 00:53:31,348 didn't love so i'm going to just like i'm just going to accept that this week i may lose 892 00:53:31,348 --> 00:53:34,488 um 893 00:53:34,488 --> 00:53:36,888 okay 894 00:53:36,888 --> 00:53:38,608 it's your secret word 895 00:53:38,608 --> 00:53:40,468 kalichi 896 00:53:40,468 --> 00:53:44,448 no 897 00:53:44,448 --> 00:53:44,988 okay 898 00:53:44,988 --> 00:53:47,188 um 899 00:53:47,188 --> 00:53:49,828 is it 900 00:53:49,828 --> 00:53:52,148 masturbate 901 00:53:52,148 --> 00:53:53,388 decoy word 902 00:53:53,388 --> 00:53:54,668 no that was 903 00:53:54,668 --> 00:53:55,008 oh wait 904 00:53:55,008 --> 00:53:55,988 no 905 00:53:55,988 --> 00:53:56,568 it wasn't 906 00:53:56,568 --> 00:53:58,948 it's 907 00:53:58,948 --> 00:54:01,248 you wrote the incorrect form 908 00:54:01,248 --> 00:54:04,628 but you said oh well then i 909 00:54:04,628 --> 00:54:13,628 oh but you said i'm pretty sure you said the verb form all right well then i didn't guess your 910 00:54:13,628 --> 00:54:19,248 secret word or i didn't guess your decoy word but you did reveal that you're a bad friend 911 00:54:19,248 --> 00:54:24,528 um for not fully listening oh i could have 912 00:54:24,528 --> 00:54:29,568 swore and i wrote that down correctly well i guess i'm lucky that i didn't 913 00:54:29,568 --> 00:54:32,148 well I still have another guess 914 00:54:32,148 --> 00:54:34,288 for your secret word 915 00:54:34,288 --> 00:54:35,508 you never know what 916 00:54:35,508 --> 00:54:38,388 worst masturbation or bad masturbation 917 00:54:38,388 --> 00:54:42,468 is your secret word 918 00:54:42,468 --> 00:54:44,288 anti-psychotic 919 00:54:44,288 --> 00:54:45,968 no 920 00:54:45,968 --> 00:54:47,948 those are my meds 921 00:54:47,948 --> 00:54:52,207 just kidding I'm off of them 922 00:54:52,207 --> 00:54:56,128 those were my guesses 923 00:54:56,128 --> 00:54:57,668 oh good I really thought you 924 00:54:57,668 --> 00:54:59,888 I really thought, didn't you think she had this? 925 00:55:00,168 --> 00:55:01,828 I didn't hear what you said. 926 00:55:02,348 --> 00:55:04,168 Oh, it was Einstein. 927 00:55:05,268 --> 00:55:06,688 Einstein was your single word? 928 00:55:06,707 --> 00:55:09,888 Yeah, I said, like, Joes are naming Einstein, so let's hear it. 929 00:55:10,128 --> 00:55:10,768 Oh my god. 930 00:55:11,068 --> 00:55:14,468 I know, I heard my name and I just went off in the paradise. 931 00:55:15,888 --> 00:55:16,648 That checks out. 932 00:55:16,928 --> 00:55:19,148 And you know my decoy word was masturbation. 933 00:55:20,068 --> 00:55:21,468 Which is so funny. 934 00:55:21,468 --> 00:55:24,408 I was just today thinking 935 00:55:24,408 --> 00:55:26,008 would that ever 936 00:55:26,008 --> 00:55:27,707 would masturbate ever be 937 00:55:27,707 --> 00:55:30,328 a word that came up on that suggestion 938 00:55:30,328 --> 00:55:32,288 generator I don't remember 939 00:55:32,288 --> 00:55:34,528 there was something that prompted me to think of it as a potential 940 00:55:34,528 --> 00:55:36,628 secret word and that's why when I wrote it down 941 00:55:36,628 --> 00:55:38,568 I was like what are the odds I literally was thinking 942 00:55:38,568 --> 00:55:39,248 of this today 943 00:55:39,248 --> 00:55:48,768 I think it was oh because I remember 944 00:55:48,768 --> 00:55:49,388 I was listening 945 00:55:49,388 --> 00:55:51,528 to the episode 946 00:55:51,528 --> 00:55:53,688 where Francis guessed 947 00:55:53,688 --> 00:55:55,388 master as 948 00:55:55,388 --> 00:55:57,727 my secret word. 949 00:55:58,248 --> 00:55:59,788 That's why. And then I was like, I wonder 950 00:55:59,788 --> 00:56:01,288 if masturbate would ever be 951 00:56:01,288 --> 00:56:02,688 a secret word. 952 00:56:03,608 --> 00:56:05,668 And then I was trying to think how I would get it in 953 00:56:05,668 --> 00:56:06,588 without being gross. 954 00:56:09,068 --> 00:56:09,848 Well, I'm 955 00:56:09,848 --> 00:56:11,808 glad that I accidentally wrote down your secret 956 00:56:11,808 --> 00:56:13,508 word wrong and you look so pissed. 957 00:56:13,928 --> 00:56:14,748 I feel like I 958 00:56:14,748 --> 00:56:17,828 got screwed. Yeah, and I feel like I 959 00:56:17,828 --> 00:56:21,028 got saved by a bunch of foam 960 00:56:21,028 --> 00:56:23,008 surrounding me so that I didn't 961 00:56:23,008 --> 00:56:24,648 hit impact with your decoy word. 962 00:56:24,948 --> 00:56:26,628 See? Proprietary foam. Yep. 963 00:56:27,108 --> 00:56:27,988 Save a life, everyone. 964 00:56:29,188 --> 00:56:30,168 Well, I'm glad 965 00:56:30,168 --> 00:56:32,308 we did some good work. 966 00:56:33,808 --> 00:56:34,748 Yep. I'll be 967 00:56:34,748 --> 00:56:36,108 going away in my 968 00:56:36,108 --> 00:56:39,068 helicopter train now. It's been great, you guys. 969 00:56:39,068 --> 00:56:42,908 There he goes 970 00:56:42,908 --> 00:56:43,888 Bye 971 00:56:43,888 --> 00:56:45,688 Bye 972 00:56:45,688 --> 00:56:47,548 Bye listeners 973 00:56:47,548 --> 00:56:49,528 Bye