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well i sent a instagram message to ida truturo oh janice of sopranos fame yes she was also in

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angie and she was in deep blue sea uh good and plenty yeah just trying to remember yes she was

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in that she got blown off a watchtower and i mean i mean she died not in the fun way right

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anyway i just sometimes i get these feelings and i want to like reach out to people and i feel

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compelled to message them and tell them how much i like them as people and uh the other night i was

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like i don't know what she's up to and i looked up her instagram and she's just like doing

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her own thing and she seems happy and she seems really nice and i've wanted to send her a message

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oh that's nice did she respond not yet right but she will maybe sometimes they do most of the time

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they don't yeah was that tattoo on her boob real i don't think so i mean it was like it's such like

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a perfect thing for Janice to have in the show that it's.

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You think that was the whole audition?

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She walked in, she had that tattoo.

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Yeah, they're like, all right, here.

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Yeah, you got it.

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You got it.

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I like her brother too, John DeTuro.

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Oh, I know.

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It's crazy, right?

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Yeah.

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It was a fake tattoo in The Sopranos.

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It was a fake one?

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Thank you, BJ.

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Producer Joe?

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Yeah, I was trying something.

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Okay.

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Do we like it?

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Well, at first I thought you said BJ and then I was confused.

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I liked that a lot.

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Nice.

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of the fake thing yeah oh what about the real and the real thing good not as much i get it thanks bj

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bj um she was such a great character in that show so just

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she was perfect like just yeah she was perfect like you you she was chaos complete chaos you

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just knew she was going to ruin whatever she touched um i was thinking about this because i

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see these same clips pop up all the time it's like why watch it again when i know on tiktok

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i'm just going to see a thousand clips but there's this one um episode where i remember when she

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steals a prosthetic leg and then she gets her ass kicked yeah yeah and she's in the hospital

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and tony's all pissed because he's like now i gotta take care of this and she goes i give

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myself totally and completely up to god and like he's like yeah okay whatever and as they're getting

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up to leave she's like yeah like i surrender myself to jesus she goes if this is the bottom

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but it was like a like a throwaway like comment like at the very end of the scene it was basically

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her being like as long as it doesn't get any worse yeah god's girl now i love her and that's

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when she did actually like like join some kind of church and she started dating that guy that

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was the narcoleptic yes yeah remember that time she purposely woke him up so she could have an

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emotional reaction to something yeah great so good yeah uh anyway i'll let you know when she um

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good yes keep us surprised let us know um listeners will want to know too she's i mean

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she's listening right now so she'll probably respond she's just been busy with her dog rescue

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what she does oh she does a dog rescue something like that that's nice that's nice she's so nice

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she's so sweet which is like so funny for a character that was just just a shitty human

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being through and through yeah yeah i like it when they're played by nice people it's hard when

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someone like their real life person is ruined by how you feel about characters like someone who's

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always like a really horrible villain i'm like i don't know if i could see you nice now

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like ralphie well he would be so weird to see him like doing an act of kindness joey pants

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yeah well he's kind of been around for a while before being ralphie wasn't he bad in bad boys

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uh possibly i think the commissioner or the captain or whatever the i mean he was in the

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matrix too he was a bad guy in that too but oh yeah he he was eating a steak being like i know

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it's fake but it's so good like i wish i'd taken the blue pill oh you know i've actually never seen

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the matrix oh sorry didn't know i was spoiling anything for you no no it's okay i'll forget

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uh the matrix is good are you sure because you went up pretty either no the matrix is good i'm

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just trying to think like you haven't seen it at this point how much of it is in the zeitgeist

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that you've already kind of absorbed but i think it's good i think it's worth watching it's worth

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one watch yeah i'll check it out i met somebody today uh who had never seen ghostbusters and he

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just watched it last night and he was like yeah ghost but i think what do you think someone well

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he loved it but he said someone he the only reason that he watched it was is he said something like

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who's it gonna who are you gonna call to one of his friends and she went ghostbusters and he was

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like what like he didn't know that reference at all never i which i don't know how that happened

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but that's never once crossed your path but um anyway so he watched he was like yeah it's great

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I love it.

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I can't remember what movie,

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but they had,

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it was some other kind of Ghostbusters movie.

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And they had,

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I'm pretty sure it was Dan Aykroyd had like a cameo in it as the

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Ghostbusters.

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And like,

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he couldn't get rid of whatever it was.

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And he like ran out and he said,

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who are you going to call someone else?

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Was it the lady Ghostbusters?

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No,

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I don't think so.

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I don't know for sure.

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Which by the way,

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when I was living in New York,

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uh,

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I had a, just a UCB class at the training center there. And I,

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so it was like 10 o'clock at night. I come out. Um,

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the training center was at 36th and 8th,

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I think. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Um,

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I come out and right in front is the Ecto one that from the new Ghostbusters

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that they were filming.

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So it was just sitting there on the street because they were several blocks

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away was where they were doing like main filming for the right then so like that's what was like

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the staging area it was like right in front of it was cool how cool is that it was really cool

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it was like seeing a celebrity yeah and i asked it for its autograph and it

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sighed and reluctantly gave it to me said i'm i'm not working right now i sorry this is yeah

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this is my time it had its little ecto kids with it i'm parked the meters like green

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i'm sorry yeah i'm part uh welcome to very fine friends

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for friends sometimes meet celebrities on the street or through instagram well you know i've

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i've done pretty good getting celebrities to talk back to me you have yes um here we go okay he put

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up his finger counting and he goes like like one finger out like he was about to name one and it

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just said yes hands down hands down kirstie alley i told you about this what did she say though what

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was the interaction engaged on what we used to be twitter and i said i had one interaction that

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she liked i don't know what i said she liked it that was thrilling and then later i was like oh

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me and my friend are gonna do a kirstie alley-a-thon what movie should we start with and she

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responded and she gave us a suggestion what did she suggest look who's talking that would be funny

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unfortunately she said deconstructing harry oh really yeah which you did not care for that

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suggestion i was like she's terrible taste in real movies

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cursi if you're listening up in heaven and we know you are she's incredible and she wasn't like a very

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big part of that movie so that was an interesting suggestion right oh yeah well maybe she's trying

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to get you to start from the bottom and work up she could have said that i was listening it true anyway so her i think christy swanson hitting the big case yeah that the only buffer for me christy and kirsty yeah

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anyway i feel like sarah michelle geller would probably be really boring to talk to

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sarah michelle geller oh no she's listening right now don't say that she's like one of

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the scream queens yeah she is yeah but i feel like in real life she's probably not very

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interesting no she's been married to freddie prince jr for years now that's got to be yeah

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that is nice i like that they they're still together yeah i like that joe am i finding

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out in real time that she's not going on our lunch list right now we gotta see we gotta see

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we can get a coffee date maybe all right see how she does her michelle you're on thin ice smg

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no we are with her because of you right now quick interruption every week on the podcast

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we do something where our producer Joe gives Francis and I each our own secret word. Throughout

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the course of the podcast, we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation

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without the other person noticing. If the other person can correctly guess the secret word,

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they get a point. And right before we die, we add up all the points. And then we get a prize,

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whoever has the most points for guessing the most secret words here's joe with today's secret words

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jenna's secret word is telegraph jenna's decoy word is affections francis's secret word is

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runt francis decoy word is ethanol back to the pod what other celebrity interactions is that it

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the big two well two and a half is pretty sure christy swanson say i think she just liked

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something i said um tara hitchcock three tv news oh that was a pretty three tv the place with more

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stuff yeah real ones now she met me numerous i met her numerous times i like no she met you

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first times you had it right the first time and the last time she bought my dinner

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oh wait i think you did tell me this but i wouldn't shut up about it but uh we went to

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fogo to chow because we used to go there for my birthday every year and i was i think there was

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like five or six of us and we were like at a big table and they were next to us and i basically was

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like geeking out about her being there and then she heard it was my birthday and she wished me

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happy birthday i thought that was nice and then when the bill came it only had the alcohol on it

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wow yeah she paid for all the food that's very nice class move and she never even said anything

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wow even classier good for her it's a great lady yeah great lady she's the reason i like

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thank you baby she's the reason you like what scared me i scared you with my own voice um

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blondes oh i'm glad that she opened your eyes yeah yeah that might be the end of the celebrity

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It's a good list, though.

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Still enough to constitute

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raising a hand upon which to count.

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Yes.

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Well, I've met other celebrities in person

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due to my American Idol attempts.

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Yes.

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Livvy Newton-John.

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Yeah.

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Brandy.

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The panel, Ryan Seacrest.

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I talked to Ray Weiss and Avon's once.

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Wait, Ray Weiss?

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Yeah.

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The dad from Twin Peaks, among other things.

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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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yeah he was weird yeah i would bet wait that's the same is that he is also the dad in uh how i

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met your mother right yeah robin's dad yeah so well you guys have certainly

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invented good reasons to talk to celebrities what else can we invent it's time for the invention of

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the week inventions hit me with it sometimes in life you have to take an invention that you already

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have and make it better take an invention and make it better that was really good that was great

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by you yeah um you know how we have the achandam oh do i i use it every day me too

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100 times a day because of allergy season yeah and it's picking up every time the weather changes

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you're right it reminds everyone to buy them anyway um so here's my new thing

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i was inspired by

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dyson they have a they sell headphones they have a dyson headphones oh okay and that's a weird

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thing for them they do everything they make everything it's crazy okay that actually makes

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me respect them a little less i thought they were focused i thought they were narrow and focused what

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did you think they did i thought they did uh like vacuuming and filtery things yeah i think they did

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anything with air and dust which would cover like the vacuums and the air blades well this

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kind of relates the headphones kind of relate the headphone is all right yeah the headphone

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has a little piece that comes down and um you can put it in front of your face it did look silly

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and it has a hepa filter in and it basically is supposed to like keep the air around your face

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like cleaner oh okay so it's like a really expensive face mask but plays music and um

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i don't think they got it i don't know for sure this is all speculation

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i don't think they got it out in time um because i didn't hear about it till after like we were

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just done talking about cove it was like it would have been people probably would have bought that

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yeah in the middle of it definitely um but whatever why did i tell you that

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because you were inspired by dyson i was inspired by dyson that's right and here's what i'm thinking

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my new invention which by the way comes with an atron so you can try it

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is a visor okay so you're already getting some protection which is great

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and what it does is it detects the pre-sneeze sound and it detects coughing sound okay so someone

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goes it activates i know where this is going why don't you tell me where is it going the

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the pre-sneeze now then the front of the visor is going to flip down in front of your face

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to work as like a sneeze guard yeah i'm stupid i definitely thought that there was gonna be

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a little fan attached to the visor and it was just gonna start blowing air down to redirect

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the bad chemicals that is good too actually that's nice it's good to blow air away from you

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because then you're blowing it towards somebody else the small child that's right below you

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maybe they should buy their own

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they should buy their own

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I can't worry about them

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anyway so there's two versions

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one the visor comes down

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oh yeah if they're wearing a visor

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if they're wearing the visor too

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then it'll protect them

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from the top

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yeah

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so if you

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if it hears the pre-sneeze noise

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coming from above you

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it flips it up

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no it doesn't need to do anything Jenna

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there's already a visor there

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protecting you

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I mean it stays up then

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yeah

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we're saying the dyson airblade protects you but it's our own people around you

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we're done talking about dyson we're done with i was using that like like when people say kleenex

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like oh yeah synecdoche i was using a specific word to represent the whole group um so

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but then all right but then also the fan okay oh i just like that yeah

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and then it goes into a hanging of shondom that's right below you

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so you know immediately you can if you want if you want an extra layer protection you could take the shondom and put it over your face under the visor That is great for coughing too right So if it picks up coughing sounds it like we need to get you protected

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Yeah.

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And actually, I like the idea of the visor coming down and it blowing air away from your face.

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You know?

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what if we have it blowing directly at your mouth so the air just pushes it right back in

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you sneeze and it just like goes back into your mouth oh this isn't for you sneezing

217
00:17:52,132 --> 00:17:58,872
this is if people around you start to sneeze or cough i thought it was

218
00:17:58,872 --> 00:18:06,432
this is a self-protective measure okay of course it's of course this is selfish

219
00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:11,812
we're not trying to help the world well this helps the world by helping you

220
00:18:11,812 --> 00:18:13,732
You know they say you can't

221
00:18:13,732 --> 00:18:16,012
put someone else's face mask on

222
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,232
until you secure your own. Put your oxygen mask

223
00:18:18,232 --> 00:18:20,112
on first and before you can help the

224
00:18:20,112 --> 00:18:21,832
child. Exactly.

225
00:18:22,072 --> 00:18:23,712
It's standing below you. It's standing right in front of you.

226
00:18:25,412 --> 00:18:25,892
Oh,

227
00:18:26,132 --> 00:18:26,572
okay.

228
00:18:27,612 --> 00:18:30,092
So it would be that

229
00:18:30,092 --> 00:18:31,692
fast? It happens that fast?

230
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,532
Well, here's the problem.

231
00:18:33,672 --> 00:18:35,592
Here's the reality.

232
00:18:37,592 --> 00:18:38,092
If

233
00:18:38,092 --> 00:18:40,352
someone's two inches from your face

234
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:45,952
and they sneeze there's not much we're going to be able to do that's just the reality but but but

235
00:18:45,952 --> 00:18:50,592
in that situation if someone's two inches from your face you're probably making out with them

236
00:18:50,592 --> 00:18:58,392
so you're already swapping spit so you that train has left the station yeah so 100 but wouldn't you

237
00:18:58,392 --> 00:19:07,932
rather make out with a visor on just clinking visors together hot i'm picturing them like um

238
00:19:07,932 --> 00:19:15,972
like you know next week's invention visor porn uh tonight's invention perverts uh we know you're

239
00:19:15,972 --> 00:19:21,152
surprisingly that one actually will not be able to be co-opted by perverts that's the one it's

240
00:19:21,152 --> 00:19:24,132
the whole full poof pervert plan stay tuned listeners

241
00:19:24,132 --> 00:19:29,972
you know now i'm trying to think how perverts will co-opt this they can't

242
00:19:30,872 --> 00:19:35,812
they can't this is they're gonna try and test it out and no never mind it's too gross no this is

243
00:19:35,812 --> 00:19:43,032
PP. It's pervert proof. Okay. What was I going to say? Oh, I'm picturing it like, um, the,

244
00:19:43,152 --> 00:19:48,452
like old timey accountants or whatever. They have those like green visors. Yeah. I'm picturing it

245
00:19:48,452 --> 00:19:56,472
like that. Yeah. Is that how you were picturing it? I was picturing it clear, but it could be

246
00:19:56,472 --> 00:20:00,252
green. We sell them in different colors. Marco's modern life print. Of course. Natch.

247
00:20:00,252 --> 00:20:10,092
natch uh so people are just gonna have to be wearing you have a lot of wearable things

248
00:20:10,092 --> 00:20:17,492
people like to wear things clothes shoes accessories their hearts on their sleeves

249
00:20:17,492 --> 00:20:21,792
their sleeves on their hearts does anyone out there has a heart with a full sleeve

250
00:20:21,792 --> 00:20:25,552
like a tattooed i was picturing like little

251
00:20:25,552 --> 00:20:31,112
little sleeves like a little jacket or like a little button-up shirt

252
00:20:31,112 --> 00:20:36,212
that'd be funny heart you mustn't catch cold

253
00:20:36,212 --> 00:20:40,612
you'll catch a death heart

254
00:20:40,612 --> 00:20:48,592
so okay let's role play a situation okay

255
00:20:48,592 --> 00:20:56,192
hey francis what up girl oh it's sure is hay fever season

256
00:20:56,192 --> 00:21:02,592
yeah i heard that on the news oh wow um what what

257
00:21:02,592 --> 00:21:08,792
oh i just forgot to tell you my mom is so sick oh hold on i gotta reset this thing

258
00:21:08,792 --> 00:21:17,092
oh my god i'm so sorry where'd you go just then oh it's this amazing new device that's reasonably

259
00:21:17,092 --> 00:21:24,932
priced that everyone should have oh um you said something about your mom yeah i did um she's in

260
00:21:24,932 --> 00:21:36,832
the hospital and then i know and uh oh my god yes oh that dog sorry that dog had the cutest

261
00:21:36,832 --> 00:21:42,652
expression on its face okay you're giving me a lot of false alarms here this is this is a

262
00:21:42,652 --> 00:21:43,192
Oh, I'm sorry.

263
00:21:43,792 --> 00:21:44,672
What does that mean?

264
00:21:44,712 --> 00:21:46,532
I'm just reacting like a normal human being.

265
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:50,452
I'm just gasping and taking breath at normal.

266
00:21:50,752 --> 00:21:51,312
Well, stop.

267
00:21:51,532 --> 00:21:54,892
This was very reasonably priced, but I don't have to buy another one.

268
00:21:56,292 --> 00:21:56,992
Are you sure?

269
00:21:57,072 --> 00:22:00,552
I think the people that are making it would want you to buy multiples.

270
00:22:00,752 --> 00:22:01,312
You know what?

271
00:22:01,372 --> 00:22:01,792
I should.

272
00:22:02,032 --> 00:22:02,912
I should buy three.

273
00:22:03,832 --> 00:22:05,692
Anyway, your mom?

274
00:22:06,572 --> 00:22:07,832
Yeah, she's in the hospital.

275
00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:10,572
She had a bit of the gout.

276
00:22:11,392 --> 00:22:12,292
Oh, that's tough.

277
00:22:12,652 --> 00:22:13,612
Well, hey, I gotta run.

278
00:22:13,872 --> 00:22:14,672
Oh, fuck!

279
00:22:15,232 --> 00:22:15,552
No.

280
00:22:18,552 --> 00:22:19,492
No, but it came down.

281
00:22:19,492 --> 00:22:20,612
Oh, it actually came down.

282
00:22:20,712 --> 00:22:21,432
I detected that.

283
00:22:21,592 --> 00:22:22,132
That's amazing.

284
00:22:22,372 --> 00:22:22,572
Okay.

285
00:22:22,572 --> 00:22:24,832
I said the F word because you scared me.

286
00:22:24,832 --> 00:22:26,372
Not because my product didn't work.

287
00:22:26,952 --> 00:22:29,432
Then I would pay 10 times as much as I paid for it.

288
00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:30,392
Luckily, you didn't have to.

289
00:22:30,732 --> 00:22:31,432
Right, but I would.

290
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:33,592
But you didn't.

291
00:22:33,632 --> 00:22:35,892
Whatever I could carry in gold, I would have paid for this thing.

292
00:22:36,632 --> 00:22:37,872
Which is a lot because you're strong.

293
00:22:37,972 --> 00:22:39,332
Yeah, in my car, too.

294
00:22:39,732 --> 00:22:40,152
Oh, wow.

295
00:22:40,152 --> 00:22:40,532
Trunk included.

296
00:22:40,532 --> 00:22:47,672
oh and you have a roomy junk busters car yeah ecto one yeah it's a long one

297
00:22:47,672 --> 00:22:55,392
uh that's i guess well we've established it works so that's good yeah and you don't even

298
00:22:55,392 --> 00:23:00,132
have to clean it it's self-cleaning oh that's amazing how does it self-clean is it like a

299
00:23:00,132 --> 00:23:05,712
little like windshield wipers come out yeah there's a built-in reservoir with ethanol so that

300
00:23:05,712 --> 00:23:08,852
it cleans it.

301
00:23:09,412 --> 00:23:12,472
And then if you're really desperate for a drink,

302
00:23:12,752 --> 00:23:14,552
you can drink ethanol.

303
00:23:15,552 --> 00:23:16,852
You can't drink ethanol.

304
00:23:17,552 --> 00:23:19,972
Is that not like a kind of...

305
00:23:19,972 --> 00:23:20,352
No.

306
00:23:20,832 --> 00:23:22,512
I don't know why I feel like

307
00:23:22,512 --> 00:23:26,552
listeners drink ethanol report back.

308
00:23:27,932 --> 00:23:28,412
Okay.

309
00:23:28,612 --> 00:23:29,672
I'm encouraging you.

310
00:23:29,752 --> 00:23:31,332
If you don't have any liquor in your house,

311
00:23:31,352 --> 00:23:32,312
but you really want to drink,

312
00:23:32,312 --> 00:23:33,252
drink some ethanol.

313
00:23:35,712 --> 00:23:38,152
And Francis is a lawyer, so...

314
00:23:38,152 --> 00:23:40,232
I said shit about drinking.

315
00:23:40,512 --> 00:23:41,992
You can't have any of that.

316
00:23:42,052 --> 00:23:43,552
No, trust me, you can.

317
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:44,392
It's fine.

318
00:23:45,692 --> 00:23:48,452
Makes it with a little grapefruit juice with a salt rim.

319
00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:49,392
You got yourself a nice...

320
00:23:49,392 --> 00:23:51,072
That sounds like the worst thing I've ever heard.

321
00:23:51,692 --> 00:23:52,892
No, it's a salty dog.

322
00:23:53,272 --> 00:23:54,112
That's what that's called.

323
00:23:54,332 --> 00:23:58,352
You can't drink the thing that could be up to 10% in gasoline.

324
00:24:00,412 --> 00:24:02,132
That's just how potent it is.

325
00:24:02,132 --> 00:24:07,512
you do what i'm trying to say is it'll get you fucked up

326
00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:11,332
yeah you can try it you'll need a walking stick because you'll go blind

327
00:24:11,332 --> 00:24:19,332
yeah blind drunk listeners have it at your next party

328
00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:27,212
you can do this i promise it's fine by yourself tonight yeah you watch the movie watch ghostbusters

329
00:24:27,212 --> 00:24:27,932
with a little ethanol.

330
00:24:28,512 --> 00:24:30,192
Francis's voice is appearing now

331
00:24:30,192 --> 00:24:32,252
to remind everyone not to do this.

332
00:24:33,212 --> 00:24:34,112
Quick interruption.

333
00:24:34,452 --> 00:24:35,312
Don't drink ethanol.

334
00:24:37,612 --> 00:24:38,992
Oh, too good.

335
00:24:39,172 --> 00:24:40,152
Back to the pod.

336
00:24:40,692 --> 00:24:41,492
Back to the pod.

337
00:24:41,572 --> 00:24:41,992
Thank you.

338
00:24:43,992 --> 00:24:47,692
What are we naming this?

339
00:24:48,172 --> 00:24:49,352
Sneeze, please.

340
00:24:50,452 --> 00:24:51,072
Okay, write it down.

341
00:24:51,692 --> 00:24:52,592
Like bitch, please?

342
00:24:53,612 --> 00:24:53,892
Mm-hmm.

343
00:24:54,412 --> 00:24:55,172
Ooh, that's good too.

344
00:24:55,732 --> 00:24:57,032
Just bitch, please.

345
00:24:57,212 --> 00:24:58,552
What about germ face?

346
00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:05,132
That makes it sound like you have germs all over your face.

347
00:25:05,132 --> 00:25:08,832
The germs are not coming.

348
00:25:10,352 --> 00:25:12,692
What about sterile Daryl?

349
00:25:14,092 --> 00:25:14,292
Ooh.

350
00:25:18,152 --> 00:25:18,592
Okay.

351
00:25:19,192 --> 00:25:21,092
I was in high school.

352
00:25:21,232 --> 00:25:24,872
I wrote a fake song about a woman who couldn't have kids and I called it sterile's trail.

353
00:25:25,372 --> 00:25:25,772
You did?

354
00:25:25,932 --> 00:25:26,112
Yeah.

355
00:25:26,112 --> 00:25:28,392
Maybe that's why you liked my idea

356
00:25:28,392 --> 00:25:28,852
Probably

357
00:25:28,852 --> 00:25:29,732
Brought it back

358
00:25:29,732 --> 00:25:32,952
You guys are like two peas

359
00:25:32,952 --> 00:25:36,172
Two peas in a bear in pond

360
00:25:36,172 --> 00:25:36,852
Bitch peas

361
00:25:36,852 --> 00:25:39,372
Yeah

362
00:25:39,372 --> 00:25:40,872
Very good

363
00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:41,592
Thanks

364
00:25:41,592 --> 00:25:44,492
Bitch don't sneeze

365
00:25:44,492 --> 00:25:47,132
Something about visor

366
00:25:47,132 --> 00:25:49,132
God bless me

367
00:25:49,132 --> 00:25:54,952
Or just bless me to make it

368
00:25:56,112 --> 00:25:56,472
Plus me.

369
00:25:56,632 --> 00:25:56,832
Yeah.

370
00:25:57,012 --> 00:26:05,698
Non We don want to scare away potential markets It true We all at the money Yeah I don care what you believe Pay me Capitalism is our only God Yep

371
00:26:09,338 --> 00:26:10,138
Pfizer miser.

372
00:26:12,018 --> 00:26:13,178
I don't know why I try.

373
00:26:15,938 --> 00:26:18,158
Not that we actually should do this,

374
00:26:18,818 --> 00:26:21,398
but it is a funny name to me.

375
00:26:21,458 --> 00:26:23,778
We could partner with Pfizer and then call it the Pfizer visor.

376
00:26:24,858 --> 00:26:26,938
They're looking for the, to break into a new market.

377
00:26:27,478 --> 00:26:28,218
No, they're not.

378
00:26:28,278 --> 00:26:34,039
They're going to hate this because you're going to be preventing so many illnesses.

379
00:26:34,039 --> 00:26:36,758
They're probably going to want to buy the product from us.

380
00:26:36,898 --> 00:26:38,258
And then shut it down.

381
00:26:38,458 --> 00:26:39,539
I don't really care what they do with it.

382
00:26:39,938 --> 00:26:40,358
Yeah, that's true.

383
00:26:40,378 --> 00:26:41,638
If they pay enough, who gives a shit?

384
00:26:42,258 --> 00:26:46,998
Maybe we should make our prices really, really high to start just in case they buy all of them.

385
00:26:47,058 --> 00:26:49,818
All I can say is buy it now, everyone, because Pfizer is interested.

386
00:26:50,358 --> 00:26:50,978
We've decided.

387
00:26:51,658 --> 00:26:51,958
Yeah.

388
00:26:52,358 --> 00:26:53,778
Get on this train right now.

389
00:26:54,178 --> 00:26:55,058
Be advised.

390
00:26:56,758 --> 00:26:57,118
Nice.

391
00:26:57,118 --> 00:26:57,638
That was good, Joe.

392
00:26:59,898 --> 00:27:00,378
Okay.

393
00:27:01,118 --> 00:27:01,538
All right.

394
00:27:03,478 --> 00:27:09,238
Well, germ face is probably available right now.

395
00:27:09,298 --> 00:27:09,638
Get it?

396
00:27:09,658 --> 00:27:11,898
Because we're about to change seasons, folks.

397
00:27:12,178 --> 00:27:12,458
Yeah.

398
00:27:12,678 --> 00:27:13,658
You know what that means?

399
00:27:14,338 --> 00:27:21,158
It means when the weather starts getting cooler, everyone starts getting sick because there's like new pollen and stuff in the air.

400
00:27:21,158 --> 00:27:26,958
And no amount of drinking ethanol will kill the diseases inside of you.

401
00:27:27,118 --> 00:27:30,998
right although it will kill a certain amount so do drink it if you feel

402
00:27:30,998 --> 00:27:39,018
it will kill other things as well so again i have to say no but maybe is what i have to say

403
00:27:39,018 --> 00:27:47,058
if you're in a pinch drink your ethanol pick one of pick up one of these germ faces

404
00:27:47,058 --> 00:27:54,358
if you're in a country where we can't be sued sure absolutely our international listeners

405
00:27:54,358 --> 00:27:58,918
I will personally send you a bottle of ethanol.

406
00:28:00,758 --> 00:28:02,038
Oh, man.

407
00:28:03,138 --> 00:28:08,358
So, anyways, go to veryfinefriends.com.

408
00:28:09,698 --> 00:28:16,618
Pick up your germ face.

409
00:28:19,958 --> 00:28:21,838
They're available now.

410
00:28:21,838 --> 00:28:25,638
That wraps up the invention of the week

411
00:28:25,638 --> 00:28:28,398
It's time now

412
00:28:28,398 --> 00:28:30,258
For our next segment

413
00:28:30,258 --> 00:28:33,418
The casting slouch

414
00:28:33,418 --> 00:28:36,818
Fine, I guess I'll cast you

415
00:28:36,818 --> 00:28:39,538
What's all that about?

416
00:28:39,798 --> 00:28:41,318
Let me explain it to you, Francis

417
00:28:41,318 --> 00:28:44,518
You and I are going to be casting directors

418
00:28:44,518 --> 00:28:48,598
We'll each be casting directors

419
00:28:48,598 --> 00:28:49,478
And we'll each

420
00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:54,598
be people try to get auditions.

421
00:28:54,798 --> 00:28:57,698
We'll be doing auditions for roles that we really want to get

422
00:28:57,698 --> 00:29:02,098
and for various fictional projects that might exist.

423
00:29:02,978 --> 00:29:03,458
Okay.

424
00:29:03,998 --> 00:29:04,898
That sounds fun.

425
00:29:05,058 --> 00:29:05,238
Yeah.

426
00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:07,698
You'll be the first director?

427
00:29:08,698 --> 00:29:09,178
Sure.

428
00:29:09,618 --> 00:29:09,878
Sure.

429
00:29:10,018 --> 00:29:10,578
I can do that.

430
00:29:10,658 --> 00:29:11,538
You show me how it works.

431
00:29:11,778 --> 00:29:12,038
Okay.

432
00:29:14,038 --> 00:29:15,318
Hi, welcome in.

433
00:29:15,758 --> 00:29:16,098
Oh, hi.

434
00:29:16,158 --> 00:29:16,698
Thanks so much.

435
00:29:16,698 --> 00:29:17,718
I'm so excited.

436
00:29:17,958 --> 00:29:18,498
Oh, yeah.

437
00:29:18,598 --> 00:29:19,058
No, great.

438
00:29:19,058 --> 00:29:26,498
Oh, good. You have your head shot there. Great. Oh, yeah. Wonderful. Um, okay. So you will be

439
00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:33,398
reading for the part of grandpapa. No, no problem. I can do that. And here are your sides. Um,

440
00:29:34,758 --> 00:29:43,818
the play is called the school mistress's lament. If you can just go ahead and you have a pretty

441
00:29:43,818 --> 00:29:48,138
emotional monologue. Okay. Yeah. So whenever you're ready. Oh, thank you. Whenever you're

442
00:29:48,138 --> 00:29:50,898
ready thank you and thank you for the opportunity oh of course of course

443
00:29:50,898 --> 00:30:15,838
my granddaughter's in here you can't keep me away from the school i pay for it now open up the gates

444
00:30:15,838 --> 00:30:16,838
and let me in.

445
00:30:17,698 --> 00:30:19,138
I'm a man, damn it.

446
00:30:19,778 --> 00:30:21,418
And I've lived through a lot.

447
00:30:22,338 --> 00:30:23,798
I've got a bionic knee

448
00:30:23,798 --> 00:30:25,538
and I've got

449
00:30:25,538 --> 00:30:27,678
Medicare. And that

450
00:30:27,678 --> 00:30:29,718
might not be enough for you, but it's

451
00:30:29,718 --> 00:30:30,678
enough for me.

452
00:30:33,178 --> 00:30:33,778
Oh,

453
00:30:33,838 --> 00:30:35,338
God. Okay.

454
00:30:35,558 --> 00:30:36,198
All right.

455
00:30:38,318 --> 00:30:38,918
Great.

456
00:30:40,198 --> 00:30:41,338
Could you do that

457
00:30:41,338 --> 00:30:42,698
one more time?

458
00:30:43,358 --> 00:30:45,698
But this time, could you do

459
00:30:45,698 --> 00:30:56,258
it as if your granddaughter is hanging from the clock tower about to plummet to her death.

460
00:30:56,398 --> 00:30:59,438
So a little more terror, if you could.

461
00:31:00,338 --> 00:31:01,118
More terror.

462
00:31:01,338 --> 00:31:01,538
Yeah.

463
00:31:01,918 --> 00:31:02,238
Okay.

464
00:31:02,478 --> 00:31:03,458
Is that really happening?

465
00:31:04,358 --> 00:31:04,638
Yes.

466
00:31:04,718 --> 00:31:05,038
Oh, sorry.

467
00:31:05,098 --> 00:31:08,718
I know you only got a short portion of the script, but yes, that's what's happening.

468
00:31:08,858 --> 00:31:09,238
Okay.

469
00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:10,598
Metaphorically.

470
00:31:10,698 --> 00:31:11,058
All right.

471
00:31:11,118 --> 00:31:12,178
Let me see what I can do with that.

472
00:31:13,318 --> 00:31:14,838
Oh my God.

473
00:31:14,838 --> 00:31:17,038
My granddaughter's is

474
00:31:17,038 --> 00:31:20,058
Suspended from that thing

475
00:31:20,058 --> 00:31:21,598
Please

476
00:31:21,598 --> 00:31:23,538
You've gotta let me in

477
00:31:23,538 --> 00:31:25,638
I've got me a moment left to live

478
00:31:25,638 --> 00:31:26,498
I know I'm better

479
00:31:26,498 --> 00:31:27,038
Please she's

480
00:31:27,038 --> 00:31:29,958
She's falling down now

481
00:31:29,958 --> 00:31:31,538
Marissa

482
00:31:31,538 --> 00:31:33,318
Grandpappy's coming

483
00:31:33,318 --> 00:31:36,658
Okay

484
00:31:36,658 --> 00:31:37,718
Great

485
00:31:37,718 --> 00:31:39,598
We'll be in touch

486
00:31:39,598 --> 00:31:40,878
Thank you so much

487
00:31:40,878 --> 00:31:42,478
Thank you so much

488
00:31:44,838 --> 00:31:54,578
welcome in hello oh hi hi you're here for the audition yeah oh yeah yeah yes this is wonderful

489
00:31:54,578 --> 00:32:02,118
oh turn oh good angle oh thank you so much oh this is very good your parents made one good

490
00:32:02,118 --> 00:32:10,338
decision i can say it oh thank you i'll let them know please do um let's not do a script

491
00:32:10,338 --> 00:32:12,638
Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, sure. Improv.

492
00:32:12,898 --> 00:32:15,118
I want to see what you could do.

493
00:32:15,578 --> 00:32:15,958
Okay.

494
00:32:18,278 --> 00:32:24,358
What I want to know is can you be religious?

495
00:32:26,298 --> 00:32:33,498
Can you be led by your religion in everything you do?

496
00:32:34,498 --> 00:32:36,318
Can you work at Macy's?

497
00:32:36,318 --> 00:32:42,198
And can you find a line between pushing your religion and not getting fired?

498
00:32:43,118 --> 00:32:45,358
That's the job I want from you.

499
00:32:46,678 --> 00:32:47,818
Oh, okay.

500
00:32:49,298 --> 00:32:53,718
Any particular denomination or belief system?

501
00:32:53,878 --> 00:32:56,478
Yes, but I can't tell you what it is.

502
00:32:56,958 --> 00:32:57,538
Oh, okay.

503
00:32:57,978 --> 00:32:58,938
So I just have to guess.

504
00:32:59,578 --> 00:33:01,018
You just have to know.

505
00:33:01,778 --> 00:33:02,378
Okay.

506
00:33:02,778 --> 00:33:03,178
Y'all?

507
00:33:03,898 --> 00:33:04,298
All right.

508
00:33:04,298 --> 00:33:05,318
No, I can do that.

509
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:07,878
Okay.

510
00:33:11,318 --> 00:33:11,998
Hi.

511
00:33:13,098 --> 00:33:13,778
Perfume sample.

512
00:33:14,538 --> 00:33:15,378
Perfume sample.

513
00:33:16,978 --> 00:33:18,878
It'll bring you closer to the Lord.

514
00:33:19,858 --> 00:33:20,358
Perfume sample.

515
00:33:20,798 --> 00:33:21,838
Oh, yes.

516
00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,658
Oh, you look like...

517
00:33:24,658 --> 00:33:27,238
You look like you need the affections of Jesus.

518
00:33:28,558 --> 00:33:32,058
Like Jesus' affections need to be rained down upon you.

519
00:33:32,578 --> 00:33:33,738
I'm going to have to stop you.

520
00:33:34,258 --> 00:33:34,958
I'm sorry.

521
00:33:34,958 --> 00:33:36,078
I think you're getting fired.

522
00:33:36,318 --> 00:33:40,018
Do you understand what I meant when I said the line?

523
00:33:40,638 --> 00:33:42,238
Oh, oh, did I cross the line?

524
00:33:42,318 --> 00:33:43,118
I went a little too far

525
00:33:43,118 --> 00:33:45,098
Yeah, I imagine you don't believe

526
00:33:45,098 --> 00:33:48,038
That would have been an easy complaint

527
00:33:48,038 --> 00:33:49,358
You'd have lost

528
00:33:49,358 --> 00:33:50,418
Oh, okay

529
00:33:50,418 --> 00:33:53,218
Back it up, hit it twice, action

530
00:33:53,218 --> 00:33:55,798
Hi

531
00:33:55,798 --> 00:33:58,498
Hi, oh ma'am

532
00:33:58,498 --> 00:34:02,138
You look like your face could use something

533
00:34:02,138 --> 00:34:05,838
You look like you could use a bit of a makeover

534
00:34:05,838 --> 00:34:09,178
come to the clinic counter

535
00:34:09,178 --> 00:34:10,698
let me make you up

536
00:34:10,698 --> 00:34:13,998
let me make it look like

537
00:34:13,998 --> 00:34:15,658
the light of

538
00:34:15,658 --> 00:34:17,098
some kind of

539
00:34:17,098 --> 00:34:19,738
being is raining down upon you

540
00:34:19,738 --> 00:34:21,638
oh

541
00:34:21,638 --> 00:34:22,838
little rouge

542
00:34:22,838 --> 00:34:25,158
little rouge will make this work

543
00:34:25,158 --> 00:34:27,018
oh

544
00:34:27,018 --> 00:34:28,078
oh no

545
00:34:28,078 --> 00:34:30,598
the bags under your eyes

546
00:34:30,598 --> 00:34:32,838
they're the color of your soul

547
00:34:32,838 --> 00:34:33,598
I can tell

548
00:34:33,598 --> 00:34:36,338
Let me just clean that right up

549
00:34:36,338 --> 00:34:39,658
You know what else can be cleansing?

550
00:34:41,278 --> 00:34:41,999
This holy water

551
00:34:41,999 --> 00:34:43,258
Ch-ch-ch

552
00:34:43,318 --> 00:34:46,738
All right. Thank you.

553
00:34:48,038 --> 00:34:49,878
Oh, okay. So you'll just let my agent know?

554
00:34:50,598 --> 00:34:51,698
Someone will let you know.

555
00:34:51,998 --> 00:34:54,418
Okay, great. Thank you so much.

556
00:34:59,118 --> 00:35:02,878
Jonathan, hi. Come on in.

557
00:35:03,718 --> 00:35:04,498
Thank you, baby.

558
00:35:06,318 --> 00:35:08,138
You come very highly recommended.

559
00:35:08,498 --> 00:35:10,098
Can't believe you're making me do the audition.

560
00:35:10,618 --> 00:35:12,538
Well, sorry. Everyone's got to read.

561
00:35:12,538 --> 00:35:14,238
I was dropped off in a limo.

562
00:35:14,338 --> 00:35:15,418
Does that count for anything anymore?

563
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:34,578
So for this scene, what we're going to need for you to do is you're going, this is a bit

564
00:35:34,578 --> 00:35:35,378
of a meta scene.

565
00:35:35,378 --> 00:35:38,878
you're going to be a director

566
00:35:38,878 --> 00:35:44,458
that is trying to get his young ingenue

567
00:35:44,458 --> 00:35:48,298
to come alive on the stage

568
00:35:48,298 --> 00:35:49,338
but the problem is

569
00:35:49,338 --> 00:35:53,558
his crippling, crippling, crippling

570
00:35:53,558 --> 00:35:57,258
agoraphobia

571
00:35:57,258 --> 00:36:05,118
so he can't even be in the same room as another person

572
00:36:05,118 --> 00:36:08,258
and so he speaks only by telegraph.

573
00:36:09,258 --> 00:36:11,718
So I'm going to need for you to convey

574
00:36:11,718 --> 00:36:16,038
through words only

575
00:36:16,038 --> 00:36:21,638
your directions to this young ingenue.

576
00:36:23,158 --> 00:36:25,238
I've got that condition.

577
00:36:26,438 --> 00:36:27,038
Got it?

578
00:36:27,518 --> 00:36:28,118
Okay.

579
00:36:29,158 --> 00:36:30,098
All right, here you go.

580
00:36:31,138 --> 00:36:32,758
Whenever you're ready, begin.

581
00:36:35,118 --> 00:36:40,238
I forgot it.

582
00:36:42,238 --> 00:36:46,338
Can you hit the high notes one more time?

583
00:36:48,898 --> 00:36:49,998
You're a director.

584
00:36:50,498 --> 00:36:51,338
Young ingenue.

585
00:36:51,758 --> 00:36:53,338
You have crippling agoraphobia.

586
00:36:53,978 --> 00:36:55,378
You only speak by telegraph.

587
00:36:55,778 --> 00:36:56,378
Go.

588
00:37:02,058 --> 00:37:03,338
I'm...

589
00:37:03,338 --> 00:37:04,758
I got it.

590
00:37:05,118 --> 00:37:07,858
Here I go

591
00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:09,598
Whenever you're ready

592
00:37:09,598 --> 00:37:14,318
June 21st 1942

593
00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:16,578
I saw you

594
00:37:16,578 --> 00:37:18,438
I saw you and you were good

595
00:37:18,438 --> 00:37:19,998
But you weren't great

596
00:37:19,998 --> 00:37:22,798
You weren't great but you could have been great

597
00:37:22,798 --> 00:37:26,198
So I say to you now

598
00:37:26,198 --> 00:37:27,978
Get better

599
00:37:27,978 --> 00:37:30,638
Eat less

600
00:37:30,638 --> 00:37:32,338
Dream more

601
00:37:32,338 --> 00:37:36,398
Get up at 4am and don't go to bed until noon

602
00:37:36,398 --> 00:37:40,538
Sincerely

603
00:37:40,538 --> 00:37:43,998
The man who's gonna make a lot of money off you

604
00:37:43,998 --> 00:37:46,038
New letter

605
00:37:46,038 --> 00:37:50,178
May 6, 1951

606
00:37:50,178 --> 00:37:50,738
We did it!

607
00:37:51,538 --> 00:37:52,718
We did it because of me

608
00:37:52,718 --> 00:37:54,778
Because of me and you listening to me

609
00:37:54,778 --> 00:37:57,298
Clap your hands right now

610
00:37:57,298 --> 00:37:58,138
I'd hug you if I could

611
00:37:58,138 --> 00:37:59,518
I'd hug you if you'd come over

612
00:37:59,518 --> 00:38:00,598
I can't leave

613
00:38:00,598 --> 00:38:04,438
I think you need to branch out, doll

614
00:38:04,438 --> 00:38:06,078
I think you need to be

615
00:38:06,078 --> 00:38:07,418
in other pictures

616
00:38:07,418 --> 00:38:09,558
I think you need to do

617
00:38:09,558 --> 00:38:11,398
nudes

618
00:38:11,398 --> 00:38:13,978
write me back

619
00:38:13,978 --> 00:38:17,378
new letter

620
00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:20,598
September 1st

621
00:38:21,718 --> 00:38:23,078
1971

622
00:38:23,078 --> 00:38:28,158
sorry I couldn't go to your mother's funeral

623
00:38:30,598 --> 00:38:33,298
I don't know why you had it outside my house.

624
00:38:36,618 --> 00:38:38,478
Anyway, write me back.

625
00:38:41,818 --> 00:38:43,618
Wow, that was inspired.

626
00:38:43,878 --> 00:38:47,078
It's, um, are you sure you haven't read this script before?

627
00:38:48,178 --> 00:38:56,138
Because you covered not only the 30-year time span so perfectly,

628
00:38:56,138 --> 00:39:01,118
but the mother's funeral at the end

629
00:39:01,118 --> 00:39:04,458
and yeah

630
00:39:04,458 --> 00:39:07,298
the nudes

631
00:39:07,298 --> 00:39:10,198
it's just the way it all goes

632
00:39:10,198 --> 00:39:11,318
isn't it

633
00:39:11,318 --> 00:39:12,898
well Jonathan there's a reason you're the pro

634
00:39:12,898 --> 00:39:14,438
we'll be in touch

635
00:39:14,438 --> 00:39:16,138
hey

636
00:39:16,138 --> 00:39:22,878
come on in

637
00:39:22,878 --> 00:39:24,238
hi

638
00:39:24,238 --> 00:39:24,798
Hi

639
00:39:24,798 --> 00:39:25,418
Come on in

640
00:39:25,418 --> 00:39:26,198
Don't be shy

641
00:39:26,198 --> 00:39:27,178
What was your first

642
00:39:27,178 --> 00:39:27,918
Your first Audi

643
00:39:27,918 --> 00:39:28,678
Um

644
00:39:28,678 --> 00:39:30,338
My second

645
00:39:30,338 --> 00:39:31,298
This is my second

646
00:39:31,298 --> 00:39:32,718
Oh tell me about your first

647
00:39:32,718 --> 00:39:33,858
Oh um

648
00:39:33,858 --> 00:39:34,858
I was

649
00:39:34,858 --> 00:39:35,758
Twelve

650
00:39:35,758 --> 00:39:36,738
Um

651
00:39:36,738 --> 00:39:37,798
I

652
00:39:37,798 --> 00:39:39,058
I was

653
00:39:39,058 --> 00:39:40,738
It was the play in here at the wind

654
00:39:40,738 --> 00:39:42,038
I didn't get

655
00:39:42,038 --> 00:39:42,818
I didn't get

656
00:39:42,818 --> 00:39:43,198
Oh

657
00:39:43,198 --> 00:39:43,778
I was

658
00:39:43,778 --> 00:39:44,278
Oh

659
00:39:44,278 --> 00:39:46,098
Yeah I was

660
00:39:46,098 --> 00:39:46,998
Juror number four

661
00:39:46,998 --> 00:39:48,098
It was a silent part

662
00:39:48,098 --> 00:39:49,878
Well we'll just treat this like your first

663
00:39:49,878 --> 00:39:50,178
Okay

664
00:39:50,178 --> 00:39:50,978
Oh oh

665
00:39:50,978 --> 00:39:51,858
Okay all right

666
00:39:51,858 --> 00:39:52,678
Don't stress

667
00:39:52,678 --> 00:39:53,658
Just relax

668
00:39:53,658 --> 00:39:54,758
I'm not going to ask you to do anything.

669
00:39:54,918 --> 00:39:56,158
I wouldn't feel comfortable doing myself.

670
00:39:56,418 --> 00:39:56,618
Okay.

671
00:39:56,618 --> 00:39:56,858
Okay.

672
00:39:56,858 --> 00:39:57,578
Thank you so much.

673
00:39:57,638 --> 00:39:57,998
Thank you.

674
00:39:58,838 --> 00:40:02,898
Um, this isn't going to be like a normal read.

675
00:40:04,118 --> 00:40:05,578
I don't have context for that.

676
00:40:05,638 --> 00:40:06,838
So I don't know what a normal read is.

677
00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:07,198
Oh, you're right, sweetie.

678
00:40:07,258 --> 00:40:07,698
You're right, honey.

679
00:40:08,198 --> 00:40:12,978
Um, what's going to happen is instead of you reading alone, we're going to read together.

680
00:40:13,458 --> 00:40:14,158
Oh, okay.

681
00:40:14,158 --> 00:40:14,718
That's good.

682
00:40:15,058 --> 00:40:15,278
Yes.

683
00:40:15,338 --> 00:40:16,838
So I am self-producing this film.

684
00:40:17,998 --> 00:40:19,638
Um, it's called Mother Madness.

685
00:40:20,558 --> 00:40:20,918
Okay.

686
00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:27,118
And it strongly follows my life with a crazy mother who I'll be playing.

687
00:40:27,778 --> 00:40:28,878
And you're going to be me.

688
00:40:29,258 --> 00:40:29,698
Oh, okay.

689
00:40:30,138 --> 00:40:33,338
So what I want you to do is I want you to be a total and complete victim.

690
00:40:34,818 --> 00:40:37,298
And I want you to not have the tools to stand up for yourself.

691
00:40:37,878 --> 00:40:38,318
Okay.

692
00:40:38,778 --> 00:40:39,758
Somehow try.

693
00:40:40,418 --> 00:40:43,358
While I unload all my shit onto you.

694
00:40:44,258 --> 00:40:44,698
Okay.

695
00:40:45,438 --> 00:40:46,798
Think you can do that, sweetie?

696
00:40:47,438 --> 00:40:49,558
I think I can handle that.

697
00:40:49,558 --> 00:40:50,078
Okay.

698
00:40:50,078 --> 00:40:50,818
So I'm the victim.

699
00:40:50,918 --> 00:40:51,638
You're the victim.

700
00:40:52,598 --> 00:40:53,998
And, okay.

701
00:40:55,998 --> 00:40:56,518
All right.

702
00:40:56,538 --> 00:40:56,778
All right.

703
00:40:57,038 --> 00:40:57,998
Thank you so much for coming.

704
00:40:59,118 --> 00:40:59,878
Okay, I'm sorry.

705
00:41:00,678 --> 00:41:01,898
Yep, you're fine.

706
00:41:02,098 --> 00:41:03,038
There's no wrong answers.

707
00:41:03,218 --> 00:41:03,478
Okay.

708
00:41:03,838 --> 00:41:04,758
But if there are, I'll tell you.

709
00:41:04,998 --> 00:41:05,458
Thank you.

710
00:41:06,678 --> 00:41:07,218
All right.

711
00:41:12,738 --> 00:41:14,678
Where the fuck have you been?

712
00:41:15,718 --> 00:41:17,518
Schooled out hours ago.

713
00:41:17,518 --> 00:41:29,278
I was working for you

714
00:41:29,278 --> 00:41:33,938
I worked at the grocery store after school for you

715
00:41:33,938 --> 00:41:38,338
Don't talk back to me you stuttering little runt

716
00:41:38,338 --> 00:41:41,378
You little floo's monger

717
00:41:41,378 --> 00:41:43,878
You little daddy's girl

718
00:41:43,878 --> 00:41:46,138
You little cheese head

719
00:41:46,138 --> 00:41:49,298
Go ahead.

720
00:41:49,938 --> 00:41:50,818
Lay it on me.

721
00:41:51,278 --> 00:41:52,998
It's not like I haven't heard it all before.

722
00:41:54,198 --> 00:41:55,618
From you, mother.

723
00:41:56,258 --> 00:42:09,940
That was everything before I had you No I nothing I heard the stories from Father He told me He told me you were used up by the time he got to you

724
00:42:10,700 --> 00:42:10,860
Hmm.

725
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:13,940
Let me just light this cigarette over here.

726
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,480
And burn you with it, you little bitch!

727
00:42:16,980 --> 00:42:18,000
Me! Me!

728
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:21,040
Now, Ma.

729
00:42:21,260 --> 00:42:22,340
He might not even be your father.

730
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,440
That's my grocery arm that you just burnt.

731
00:42:26,020 --> 00:42:26,340
Good.

732
00:42:26,900 --> 00:42:28,740
I want you to know you're picking up bruised fruit.

733
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,160
That's what he called you.

734
00:42:31,380 --> 00:42:32,060
Bruised fruit.

735
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:34,860
That was, that's what he said.

736
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:36,980
It was the town's nickname for you.

737
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,560
Oh, here's your acceptance letter to Georgetown.

738
00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:41,360
Tearing it up.

739
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:41,800
No.

740
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:42,400
I'm tearing it up.

741
00:42:42,460 --> 00:42:42,700
No.

742
00:42:42,720 --> 00:42:43,340
It's torn.

743
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:44,040
No.

744
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:45,760
It's torn and shorn its pieces.

745
00:42:46,340 --> 00:42:49,720
Everybody knows that you need the original letter, otherwise they don't let you in.

746
00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:50,980
Exactly.

747
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:54,480
Why are you like this?

748
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,620
Are you jealous of my youth?

749
00:42:56,900 --> 00:43:02,460
My mom hurt me

750
00:43:02,460 --> 00:43:05,300
Baby, come here

751
00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:06,700
The cycle can't continue

752
00:43:06,700 --> 00:43:08,460
Baby, come here, we'll glue it together

753
00:43:08,460 --> 00:43:09,260
We'll glue it back

754
00:43:09,260 --> 00:43:10,980
You're going to Georgetown, baby

755
00:43:10,980 --> 00:43:11,760
Thank you

756
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:12,340
You're going to

757
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:15,260
Is that my fucking perfume?

758
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:18,620
Mommy, no!

759
00:43:18,780 --> 00:43:20,460
Ow, here, I'll douse you in it

760
00:43:20,460 --> 00:43:22,160
No, don't make me drink it

761
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:22,700
Cigarette!

762
00:43:26,900 --> 00:43:28,000
My face!

763
00:43:28,340 --> 00:43:30,460
My beautiful, youthful face!

764
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:32,580
And scene.

765
00:43:33,020 --> 00:43:34,100
I'm sorry, was that okay?

766
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,260
Let's just say,

767
00:43:37,260 --> 00:43:39,740
I don't think I need to make the movie now.

768
00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:40,940
Oh.

769
00:43:41,060 --> 00:43:42,160
Thank you so much.

770
00:43:42,980 --> 00:43:43,340
Wow.

771
00:43:44,620 --> 00:43:45,140
Okay.

772
00:43:45,420 --> 00:43:46,340
I think so.

773
00:43:46,420 --> 00:43:49,260
You'll be in touch or...

774
00:43:49,260 --> 00:43:50,860
No.

775
00:43:55,420 --> 00:43:55,940
Hmm.

776
00:43:56,900 --> 00:43:58,940
Those are some really powerful auditions.

777
00:44:00,740 --> 00:44:00,960
Yeah.

778
00:44:01,860 --> 00:44:02,400
Yeah.

779
00:44:02,980 --> 00:44:04,240
Acting is...

780
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:06,120
Cathartic, I want to say.

781
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:06,780
Yeah.

782
00:44:06,780 --> 00:44:08,120
I mean, yeah.

783
00:44:08,620 --> 00:44:08,980
Yeah.

784
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,040
Allison Jones, if you're listening, we know you are.

785
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:13,380
We don't know how you do it.

786
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:15,200
We do know how you do it.

787
00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:17,560
We just proved how we know exactly how you do it.

788
00:44:17,620 --> 00:44:18,240
Well, it's hard.

789
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:18,960
That's all I'm saying.

790
00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:20,600
It's hard definitely for others.

791
00:44:20,940 --> 00:44:24,560
I mean, I would say for us, that was like wiggling our toes.

792
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:24,980
Yeah.

793
00:44:24,980 --> 00:44:27,080
I guess they don't know how you do it.

794
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:27,520
They don't know.

795
00:44:27,700 --> 00:44:28,400
The rest of them.

796
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:28,560
A hundred percent.

797
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:29,140
A hundred percent.

798
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:30,260
Oh,

799
00:44:30,620 --> 00:44:34,760
that wraps up the casting slouch.

800
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:40,280
All right.

801
00:44:41,420 --> 00:44:44,040
Time for one final segment.

802
00:44:45,380 --> 00:44:46,880
The big question.

803
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,340
The question is very big.

804
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,420
I really don't think I've asked this.

805
00:44:53,540 --> 00:44:53,960
Okay.

806
00:44:54,980 --> 00:45:00,600
If I have, just keep in mind I'm beautiful and therefore worthy of forgiveness and beyond reproach.

807
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:01,700
That's right.

808
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:02,720
Don't reproach me.

809
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:04,860
No, you're too hot for that.

810
00:45:05,380 --> 00:45:06,100
Too hot for that?

811
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:06,520
Yeah.

812
00:45:07,380 --> 00:45:10,000
You're unreproachable, but not unapproachable.

813
00:45:10,620 --> 00:45:10,900
Good.

814
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:12,360
That's what I want.

815
00:45:13,700 --> 00:45:16,820
But also check in with me before you approach me.

816
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,620
Here's my big question.

817
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:21,680
And I think we should change it.

818
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,820
Should it be called big question or should it be called big premise?

819
00:45:24,980 --> 00:45:34,820
all right question's good yeah i heard it in the tone felt awfully like reproach

820
00:45:34,820 --> 00:45:40,320
now it was me approaching you here's my big question look how close i am now

821
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:46,640
yeah didn't you hear how her got slowly louder yeah she was like changing gears in a honda

822
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:58,240
my big question which i'd like to get out okay is um

823
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:08,600
if you you got to pick a brand new holiday that has never happened before you have to come up with

824
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:13,260
a holiday you have to come up with the lore where it came from you're going to come up with what

825
00:46:13,260 --> 00:46:17,660
people eat and you got to come up with traditions associated with this new holiday that you're

826
00:46:17,660 --> 00:46:26,920
inventing right now okay it's funny i realize why you prefaced it with i don't think i've asked this

827
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:34,880
before because it feels familiar but i don't remember answering it well that's good it's on

828
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:40,020
brand i think it's it feels like a francis question oh great okay

829
00:46:40,020 --> 00:46:46,920
i feel like maybe we did one where we had to make up an urban legend

830
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,540
that sounds familiar might be making that up though

831
00:46:49,540 --> 00:46:55,160
now it's a legend and it's so urban

832
00:46:55,160 --> 00:47:03,080
yeah why is it called urban legend doesn't urban mean like city

833
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:08,520
maybe urban in the sense that a big population has started to believe it

834
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:12,620
Oh, that's a good thought.

835
00:47:12,980 --> 00:47:13,240
Thanks.

836
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:14,720
Good speculation.

837
00:47:17,860 --> 00:47:18,500
Danke.

838
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:19,640
Okay.

839
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:31,520
My holiday is called...

840
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:42,120
wait for it oh yeah

841
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,820
it was

842
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:48,560
it's called

843
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:49,500
Saint

844
00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:52,920
Rivington's Day

845
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:58,560
Saint Rivington's Day

846
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:00,420
is

847
00:48:00,420 --> 00:48:07,540
a day where this is an international holiday, not just national.

848
00:48:10,780 --> 00:48:21,140
As everyone knows, St. Rivington was the patron saint of shallow swimming pools.

849
00:48:23,340 --> 00:48:27,280
The kind that have to have no diving on them. Well, actually, here,

850
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:31,760
And so the, um, hear, hear me out on this one.

851
00:48:33,460 --> 00:48:47,080
St. Rivington himself actually was a small child and he dove head first into a shallow,

852
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:47,900
shallow pond.

853
00:48:48,020 --> 00:48:51,160
It should have killed him, but it didn't.

854
00:48:53,900 --> 00:48:54,460
Miraculously.

855
00:48:54,460 --> 00:49:01,460
and everyone that saw this was like he i mean he dove into like three inches of water headfirst

856
00:49:01,460 --> 00:49:11,620
and somehow came out completely unscathed and as a result of this he was like there are no

857
00:49:11,620 --> 00:49:28,403
there no signage there nothing to let me know i shouldn dive headfirst into this shallow pool of water So he made it his mission to everywhere there was water that was less than

858
00:49:28,403 --> 00:49:38,523
six feet deep, he would put tiles next to that that said, caution, shallow water, no diving.

859
00:49:38,523 --> 00:49:47,143
through his activism he saved countless countless lives

860
00:49:47,143 --> 00:49:54,383
god saved him really through the miracle so that he could save all of these other lives

861
00:49:54,383 --> 00:50:02,823
so many children and adults were spared traumatic head injuries and possible death because

862
00:50:02,823 --> 00:50:08,923
of his tiles that he would put next to any kind of water that looked fun to dive in.

863
00:50:10,863 --> 00:50:16,083
So on St. Rivington's Day, which is every August 17th,

864
00:50:17,183 --> 00:50:28,123
the whole world celebrates by, well, they celebrate in a few different ways. First of

865
00:50:28,123 --> 00:50:29,663
Well, everyone goes swimming on that day.

866
00:50:30,543 --> 00:50:31,883
It's a big swimming holiday.

867
00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:35,323
Everyone must dunk their toe in a bit of water.

868
00:50:37,003 --> 00:50:42,203
And then after they dunk their toe, they must dunk their head first in a bit of water.

869
00:50:42,323 --> 00:50:43,483
But do it with caution.

870
00:50:49,183 --> 00:50:54,143
And in certain countries, France, for example, they do this naked.

871
00:50:54,143 --> 00:50:55,223
That's not required.

872
00:50:56,023 --> 00:50:57,923
You can be clothed.

873
00:50:58,123 --> 00:51:02,503
I like that though. The Swiss, uh, are actually like really jokey about it.

874
00:51:02,863 --> 00:51:05,943
They wear bathing suits that look like they're naked,

875
00:51:05,943 --> 00:51:10,863
which is, I think is a fun kind of winky way. It's cute. So, I mean, you got,

876
00:51:11,483 --> 00:51:18,483
you got guys wearing speedos that just look like full bush, but it's actually not, it's cloth,

877
00:51:18,623 --> 00:51:25,603
but anyway, it's fun. It's a fun thing to do. Um, and there's every year there's

878
00:51:25,603 --> 00:51:31,643
the ceremonial breaking of the skull to remind people of what they,

879
00:51:32,323 --> 00:51:32,583
yeah,

880
00:51:32,843 --> 00:51:33,343
what they,

881
00:51:34,083 --> 00:51:36,603
what could have been were it not for St.

882
00:51:36,683 --> 00:51:40,963
Rivington and his activism and the lives that he saved.

883
00:51:40,963 --> 00:51:44,823
So there's one that used to back in the 1800s,

884
00:51:44,823 --> 00:51:50,343
they used to literally pick somebody that they would sacrifice,

885
00:51:50,523 --> 00:51:52,823
that they would throw headfirst into a shallow bit of water.

886
00:51:52,823 --> 00:51:54,783
But now we just do it ceremonially.

887
00:51:54,783 --> 00:52:03,223
no one dies. So it's actually now it's an honor to be what's the, what's known as the cracked skull.

888
00:52:03,783 --> 00:52:11,603
That's the official. So every, every like official St. Rewington's day ceremony has a cracked skull

889
00:52:11,603 --> 00:52:18,603
person. Now it's just a volunteer. It's actually an honor now, but used to be someone actually died,

890
00:52:18,603 --> 00:52:24,363
but that obviously kind of goes against the spirit. They realized we didn't need to actually

891
00:52:24,363 --> 00:52:30,883
kill somebody to demonstrate this. So that's progress. I know. I agree. And it, you know,

892
00:52:30,883 --> 00:52:38,083
it accomplishes the same thing. Um, and kids, uh, the night before St. Rivington's day sleep

893
00:52:38,083 --> 00:52:46,563
in their bathtubs is a fun kind of tribute, uh, fully submerged in water or the bathtubs are full.

894
00:52:46,663 --> 00:52:51,183
So they have to be careful not to slip in and die, but that's a fun thing that kids do.

895
00:52:51,183 --> 00:52:53,203
If you're going to participate, you...

896
00:52:53,203 --> 00:52:54,083
I know, just do it.

897
00:52:54,263 --> 00:53:02,623
And they know that they put their flip-flops outside their door,

898
00:53:02,883 --> 00:53:04,063
outside the bathroom door.

899
00:53:04,543 --> 00:53:09,343
And in the morning, it's filled with goggles and little tiny towels and stuff.

900
00:53:09,583 --> 00:53:12,223
Like St. Rivington came and blessed them over the night.

901
00:53:12,223 --> 00:53:12,963
That's so cute. That's so sweet.

902
00:53:13,583 --> 00:53:15,103
Yeah, it is. It's really sweet.

903
00:53:15,803 --> 00:53:18,443
Kids really get into it. Adults get into it, too.

904
00:53:18,443 --> 00:53:25,043
um because who doesn't love swimming doesn't love diving especially in august oh yeah yeah

905
00:53:25,043 --> 00:53:33,003
you gotta dive i know it's so hot a nice aug dive oh the augie doggy dives of summer yeah

906
00:53:33,003 --> 00:53:41,663
write that down oh they have that's beautiful yeah so that's kind of

907
00:53:41,663 --> 00:53:48,923
my favorite holiday i christmas second i think but well you can't top that

908
00:53:48,923 --> 00:53:52,703
saint rubington's day is first it's beautiful thank you

909
00:53:53,383 --> 00:54:01,343
did i not answer any questions no you did perfect you did beautiful you did wonderful

910
00:54:01,343 --> 00:54:06,623
thank you but i just wanted to make sure i covered everything you wanted yeah i yeah i

911
00:54:06,623 --> 00:54:11,003
I especially loved the thinking that he had come.

912
00:54:11,623 --> 00:54:11,823
Yeah.

913
00:54:12,023 --> 00:54:13,463
It's a fun.

914
00:54:13,823 --> 00:54:13,963
Yeah.

915
00:54:13,963 --> 00:54:18,183
And parents will, obviously, it's all parent-driven that they do this.

916
00:54:18,263 --> 00:54:22,243
But they'll leave, like, little splashes of water around the flip-flops outside the bathroom door.

917
00:54:22,723 --> 00:54:24,083
Be like, oh, look, it's wet.

918
00:54:24,183 --> 00:54:24,803
He was here.

919
00:54:24,983 --> 00:54:25,603
He was here.

920
00:54:25,803 --> 00:54:30,043
You got to do that not that far away from when they wake up or maybe it might go away.

921
00:54:30,083 --> 00:54:31,583
The timing is critical.

922
00:54:31,823 --> 00:54:32,323
Yeah, critical.

923
00:54:32,543 --> 00:54:33,763
If you love your kids, you'll figure it out.

924
00:54:33,763 --> 00:54:34,603
Yeah, you'll figure it out.

925
00:54:35,303 --> 00:54:36,163
And it's just once a year.

926
00:54:36,163 --> 00:54:40,483
yeah so you have to get up a little bit earlier it's low committee come on yeah

927
00:54:40,483 --> 00:54:45,003
so what about you

928
00:54:45,003 --> 00:54:49,763
um well

929
00:54:49,763 --> 00:54:55,063
did you ever celebrate um

930
00:54:55,063 --> 00:55:01,863
rocket fuel day when you were a kid no i don't think i did

931
00:55:01,863 --> 00:55:08,683
is that anything what never mind keep going oh no no no let me tell you

932
00:55:08,683 --> 00:55:14,963
okay i drank rocket fuel that was it well you probably heard that you could on a podcast yeah

933
00:55:14,963 --> 00:55:19,423
um rocket fuel day

934
00:55:19,423 --> 00:55:29,483
um once upon a time probably 200 years ago um there was a weird various static disturbance

935
00:55:29,483 --> 00:55:31,383
in the environment.

936
00:55:32,363 --> 00:55:33,263
What kind of a disturbance?

937
00:55:33,263 --> 00:55:34,003
A baryostatic.

938
00:55:35,143 --> 00:55:38,143
And basically it caused everyone's airbag

939
00:55:38,143 --> 00:55:40,283
to go off at the same time in the middle of the night.

940
00:55:42,983 --> 00:55:44,023
And I don't know if you know this,

941
00:55:44,063 --> 00:55:45,823
but there's a little bit of jet fuel in airbags.

942
00:55:45,823 --> 00:55:48,383
That's the propulsion element.

943
00:55:49,203 --> 00:55:50,263
Yeah, back 200 years ago.

944
00:55:50,843 --> 00:55:51,083
Yeah.

945
00:55:51,963 --> 00:55:52,403
Yeah.

946
00:55:52,663 --> 00:55:54,303
Did I say 200 years ago?

947
00:55:54,363 --> 00:55:55,023
Yeah, you did.

948
00:55:55,223 --> 00:55:58,003
200 years ago, if we were in the future,

949
00:55:58,003 --> 00:56:05,983
it would be now it happened now starting now anyway um so that happened and then people didn't

950
00:56:05,983 --> 00:56:14,423
know about the various act disturbance so they thought it was a sign from like extraterrestrials

951
00:56:14,423 --> 00:56:20,103
yeah and then some crazy person in town was going around being like did you know

952
00:56:20,103 --> 00:56:29,483
that airbags have rocket fuel and nobody believed him um and then one person who was like oh i

953
00:56:29,483 --> 00:56:44,386
i did know that and then everyone like oh it real oh shit it real oh shit and then they were like they could not stop talking about that Oh shit They couldn stop talking about that Sounds like the way they talked 200 years ago too No we now Oh okay I sorry

954
00:56:44,426 --> 00:56:44,826
We're now.

955
00:56:44,886 --> 00:56:45,086
Okay.

956
00:56:45,746 --> 00:56:46,426
We're now.

957
00:56:46,766 --> 00:56:46,966
Okay.

958
00:56:47,966 --> 00:56:48,366
Anyway.

959
00:56:51,666 --> 00:56:55,166
So everyone could not shut up about rocket fuel.

960
00:56:55,166 --> 00:57:16,746
And so rocket fuel day is a day where one person goes around and they disable someone's airbag as a prank and they rig it so that it goes off at a time they choose.

961
00:57:17,866 --> 00:57:23,806
And then the next day on rocket fuel day, you find out if it was you because you'll be driving and your airbag will just go off.

962
00:57:23,806 --> 00:57:28,566
and it's one of those things that yes it can cause bodily harm but we all accept the risk

963
00:57:28,566 --> 00:57:35,726
because it's so much fun to participate and knowing it could be anyone and um we eat soup

964
00:57:35,726 --> 00:57:42,146
on that day in solidarity with the person who probably had all their teeth blown out from the

965
00:57:42,146 --> 00:57:48,586
airbag explosion oh that's nice it's a good nod we're still a community yeah we're still a

966
00:57:48,586 --> 00:57:53,686
community it's a fun thing it's not supposed to be a mean-spirited thing right and all day

967
00:57:53,686 --> 00:57:59,706
every day the one day of the year the radio only plays that rocket man song

968
00:57:59,706 --> 00:58:04,326
okay yeah that makes sense yeah

969
00:58:04,326 --> 00:58:12,366
that's it what's your favorite what's your personal favorite

970
00:58:12,366 --> 00:58:20,406
day that you've had like do you have one that you love in history um yeah i do because um i know

971
00:58:20,406 --> 00:58:22,726
you probably remember that I went through a phase where I was scared of having

972
00:58:22,726 --> 00:58:24,446
my nose broken by an errant airbag.

973
00:58:24,886 --> 00:58:25,286
Hmm.

974
00:58:25,626 --> 00:58:26,066
Um,

975
00:58:26,186 --> 00:58:31,046
so I invented a device where I could drive from the back seat.

976
00:58:31,326 --> 00:58:33,426
I like made a second pair of hands that were,

977
00:58:33,666 --> 00:58:36,926
that I would control like they were controllers and I would sit in the back

978
00:58:36,926 --> 00:58:41,326
seat and I would steer with these telescoping hands.

979
00:58:41,506 --> 00:58:42,226
Far away from it.

980
00:58:42,326 --> 00:58:42,506
Yeah.

981
00:58:43,046 --> 00:58:43,446
And,

982
00:58:43,506 --> 00:58:43,846
um,

983
00:58:44,566 --> 00:58:47,626
I got on shark tank that year because,

984
00:58:47,626 --> 00:58:49,706
uh,

985
00:58:49,706 --> 00:58:56,106
Barbara, I think it was, which happened to be driving by and she saw this and she had to know more.

986
00:58:56,266 --> 00:58:58,106
So that was really the day my whole life changed.

987
00:58:58,226 --> 00:58:58,466
Wow.

988
00:58:58,906 --> 00:58:59,146
Yeah.

989
00:59:00,526 --> 00:59:01,846
That would be a memorable one.

990
00:59:02,286 --> 00:59:03,526
Yeah, she bought 100%.

991
00:59:03,526 --> 00:59:09,086
The reason you don't know about it is because I had to sign an NDA, but let's just say I don't own any part of that company anymore.

992
00:59:09,286 --> 00:59:10,346
Oh, well, it's a bummer.

993
00:59:10,686 --> 00:59:11,826
Sounds like it's a moneymaker.

994
00:59:11,826 --> 00:59:12,226
Oh.

995
00:59:14,366 --> 00:59:18,266
Anyway, happy Rivingston Day to you.

996
00:59:18,666 --> 00:59:19,086
Thank you.

997
00:59:19,086 --> 00:59:25,626
yeah happy rf day to you too thank you

998
00:59:25,626 --> 00:59:34,446
well i think we've done it i think we've answered the big question the big question

999
00:59:34,446 --> 00:59:41,686
all right one final bit of business oh here it is here it is secret words time

1000
00:59:41,686 --> 00:59:46,606
i wrote down a lot i don't have any level of confidence here so let me just roll through them

1001
00:59:46,606 --> 00:59:46,886
Okay.

1002
00:59:48,106 --> 00:59:48,526
Sleeves.

1003
00:59:48,986 --> 00:59:49,206
Nope.

1004
00:59:50,126 --> 00:59:50,526
Peas.

1005
00:59:50,986 --> 00:59:51,206
Nope.

1006
00:59:52,406 --> 00:59:52,726
Lament.

1007
00:59:53,246 --> 00:59:53,546
Nope.

1008
00:59:54,526 --> 00:59:54,806
Mistress.

1009
00:59:55,406 --> 00:59:55,646
Nope.

1010
00:59:55,946 --> 00:59:57,006
I don't even remember saying mistress.

1011
00:59:57,486 --> 00:59:58,846
The school mistress's lament.

1012
00:59:59,226 --> 00:59:59,486
Oh.

1013
01:00:01,326 --> 01:00:02,246
Clock tower.

1014
01:00:02,726 --> 01:00:02,986
Nope.

1015
01:00:04,146 --> 01:00:04,446
Meta.

1016
01:00:04,946 --> 01:00:05,326
No.

1017
01:00:06,626 --> 01:00:07,106
Ingenue.

1018
01:00:07,546 --> 01:00:07,966
No.

1019
01:00:08,886 --> 01:00:09,406
Telegraph.

1020
01:00:10,006 --> 01:00:10,466
Yes.

1021
01:00:10,786 --> 01:00:11,406
Yes!

1022
01:00:11,466 --> 01:00:12,086
That's your word?

1023
01:00:12,166 --> 01:00:12,726
That's my word.

1024
01:00:12,726 --> 01:00:13,866
Oh my god!

1025
01:00:14,126 --> 01:00:15,026
Dang it.

1026
01:00:15,026 --> 01:00:16,806
I saw you write it down.

1027
01:00:17,186 --> 01:00:18,826
Oh, this is crazy.

1028
01:00:19,186 --> 01:00:21,146
Is your decoy word agoraphobia?

1029
01:00:21,546 --> 01:00:21,666
No.

1030
01:00:22,386 --> 01:00:23,946
Is it traumatized?

1031
01:00:24,246 --> 01:00:24,626
No.

1032
01:00:24,766 --> 01:00:25,266
Traumatizing?

1033
01:00:25,666 --> 01:00:25,906
No.

1034
01:00:26,066 --> 01:00:26,706
Traumatized?

1035
01:00:26,986 --> 01:00:27,346
No.

1036
01:00:28,486 --> 01:00:28,846
Dunk?

1037
01:00:29,206 --> 01:00:29,466
Nope.

1038
01:00:30,926 --> 01:00:31,606
Saint?

1039
01:00:32,166 --> 01:00:32,486
Nope.

1040
01:00:32,766 --> 01:00:33,006
Winky?

1041
01:00:33,586 --> 01:00:34,246
No.

1042
01:00:35,006 --> 01:00:35,406
Shallow?

1043
01:00:36,026 --> 01:00:36,366
No.

1044
01:00:36,706 --> 01:00:37,826
Okay, that was it.

1045
01:00:38,426 --> 01:00:40,926
No, my decoy word was affections.

1046
01:00:42,106 --> 01:00:43,406
Oh, it didn't even clock it.

1047
01:00:43,406 --> 01:00:50,926
Yeah, I said you look like Jesus, something about Jesus's affections when I was trying to do something in Macy's.

1048
01:00:51,106 --> 01:00:52,446
I like how I was like, but don't get fired.

1049
01:00:52,506 --> 01:00:53,706
And you're like, you need Jesus.

1050
01:00:54,326 --> 01:00:57,106
Yeah, I know.

1051
01:00:58,686 --> 01:01:01,006
Well, it wasn't a good audition, so.

1052
01:01:01,906 --> 01:01:02,206
It's OK.

1053
01:01:02,246 --> 01:01:02,986
I gave you another chance.

1054
01:01:03,226 --> 01:01:03,506
All right.

1055
01:01:03,526 --> 01:01:04,526
Well, I'm worried.

1056
01:01:05,186 --> 01:01:11,666
I'm worried about this because I have things written down here that I said myself many times.

1057
01:01:11,666 --> 01:01:17,086
I was worried about that on my side because I think I was repeating some of the stuff you said, but it all worked out.

1058
01:01:17,506 --> 01:01:17,786
All right.

1059
01:01:17,806 --> 01:01:20,946
Let me just start with, it's not ethanol, is it?

1060
01:01:21,586 --> 01:01:21,946
Decoy.

1061
01:01:22,606 --> 01:01:23,046
No!

1062
01:01:25,006 --> 01:01:26,146
God damn it.

1063
01:01:27,226 --> 01:01:28,726
Stop doing that, Jenna.

1064
01:01:28,946 --> 01:01:32,166
Stop guessing the decoy is the main word.

1065
01:01:32,166 --> 01:01:37,726
I was so pissed that it wasn't my word because even if you had guessed it, I would have been so up.

1066
01:01:37,726 --> 01:01:42,446
So many times that that has happened where my decoy word I've gotten you to say.

1067
01:01:42,986 --> 01:01:43,666
And I...

1068
01:01:43,666 --> 01:01:47,566
Well, you wrote it down and then you still said it twice again.

1069
01:01:47,766 --> 01:01:48,046
I know.

1070
01:01:48,386 --> 01:01:48,726
I know.

1071
01:01:49,346 --> 01:01:50,226
What are you doing?

1072
01:01:50,286 --> 01:01:50,946
I don't know.

1073
01:01:52,106 --> 01:01:52,906
I don't know.

1074
01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:53,746
You need Jesus.

1075
01:01:54,966 --> 01:01:55,406
Okay.

1076
01:01:55,586 --> 01:01:56,446
You've crossed a line.

1077
01:01:56,806 --> 01:01:57,126
All right.

1078
01:01:57,306 --> 01:01:59,706
Well, I might as well guess all the rest of these as your real word.

1079
01:01:59,986 --> 01:02:00,286
Damn.

1080
01:02:02,206 --> 01:02:02,646
Sterile?

1081
01:02:03,386 --> 01:02:03,666
No.

1082
01:02:03,926 --> 01:02:04,286
Religious?

1083
01:02:04,946 --> 01:02:06,066
No, you seem pissed.

1084
01:02:06,066 --> 01:02:07,026
I am pissed.

1085
01:02:07,026 --> 01:02:15,426
i'm fucking pissed you know what uh no did i say i just said religious right yeah religion

1086
01:02:15,426 --> 01:02:31,266
no nudes no madness no victim no runt yes oh oh i feel good now i'm still one point we're tied

1087
01:02:31,266 --> 01:02:37,326
right no well you're definitely ahead but but you just gained one point as opposed to three

1088
01:02:37,326 --> 01:02:49,326
damn oh thank god oh all right well that makes me feel better i feel better yeah it feels good

1089
01:02:49,326 --> 01:02:55,906
not to lose all the way yeah just losing a little bit's way better than nicely done oh thank you i

1090
01:02:55,906 --> 01:02:59,946
knew the minute it came like i felt fine about saying it but i saw you pick up your pen i'm like

1091
01:02:59,946 --> 01:03:03,226
Yeah, I know. I saw you pick up your pen with telegraph, too.

1092
01:03:05,166 --> 01:03:11,126
Oh, and then all the stuff you said at the end with the rocket fuel and the baristatic and airbag and propulsion.

1093
01:03:11,126 --> 01:03:14,166
It was like this all feels like you're it's all feels like bait.

1094
01:03:16,066 --> 01:03:19,026
Because it didn't really make any words. I know.

1095
01:03:19,506 --> 01:03:22,446
Well, congratulations on being smart.

1096
01:03:22,446 --> 01:03:31,206
I'm going to celebrate my less painful loss by just getting a big old glass of ethanol

1097
01:03:31,206 --> 01:03:33,006
sitting by the fire.

1098
01:03:33,806 --> 01:03:34,446
I'm too close.

1099
01:03:35,186 --> 01:03:37,946
And just enjoying St. Rivington's day.

1100
01:03:38,266 --> 01:03:39,006
Well, that sounds lovely.

1101
01:03:39,166 --> 01:03:41,086
I'll be getting my face blown off by my hair bag.

1102
01:03:41,746 --> 01:03:42,266
Okay.

1103
01:03:42,366 --> 01:03:44,226
Well, till next time, listeners.

1104
01:03:44,626 --> 01:03:44,886
Bye.

1105
01:03:52,446 --> 01:03:52,946
you