1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:21,320
Welcome to Very Fine Friends!

2
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,340
Bonus!

3
00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:25,980
Improv.

4
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:26,340
Improv.

5
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:27,880
Bonus improv.

6
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:28,020
Improv.

7
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:29,980
That was a good one.

8
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,880
Joe, can we get a suggestion for our improv, please?

9
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:41,240
Yes, your suggestion is mediocrity.

10
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:45,340
Well, you wouldn't know about that, would you?

11
00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:48,220
I worry that I do know all about it.

12
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:49,800
No.

13
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,440
What do you think it means?

14
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:52,200
How would you define it?

15
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,000
I would define it as unimpressive.

16
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:57,380
Then that's not you.

17
00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:58,880
Well, thank you for saying that.

18
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:04,400
What percentage of the population do you think believes themselves to be above average?

19
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:06,260
And they're not?

20
00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:10,200
Well, yeah, I mean, they're not.

21
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:15,420
I mean, by default, 50% of the people are below average.

22
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:23,720
I think 20% of the population thinks more highly of themselves than they deserve.

23
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:26,300
That number feels way too low to me personally.

24
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:28,180
I feel like 60% of the people think.

25
00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:29,700
I was going to say 62.

26
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:35,320
Because like who out there is like, no, I'm, I'm fairly worthless.

27
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,840
I think a lot of people are that way.

28
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:38,720
I mean, I'm that way.

29
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:39,640
No, you're not.

30
00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:40,580
No, you're not.

31
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:41,720
And also I feel like that.

32
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,800
And you're also not worthless.

33
00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:45,540
Well, I know that.

34
00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:47,000
See, you do know that.

35
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,240
I just moved into the.

36
00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:48,980
Yeah.

37
00:01:50,780 --> 00:01:55,280
Well, no, I think it's, I think it's more common that like a lot of people have, like a lot

38
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:56,560
of people have imposter syndrome.

39
00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:01,560
It's like they are qualified and they are like above average, but they have like a confidence issue about it.

40
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:06,640
And then you see the other side of things where it's like people act like they're perfect for what they do.

41
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,160
And it's like, how did this guy get this?

42
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:24,460
I feel like 60% of the people that I meet look at problems in their life that they are the cause of and blame other people for those problems, which is what I'm using as my barometer for 60%.

43
00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:25,560
Okay.

44
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:30,560
okay i mean that's that's obviously like i'm pulling a number out of thin air but well that's

45
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:39,020
math yep that's all math is just pulling numbers that's statistics okay um yeah i think i mean like

46
00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:46,640
there's so many people that think that they're like really funny yeah that are not i would say

47
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:54,940
don't even have a sense of humor to speak of really but they think they do i don't know i

48
00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:57,220
I think there's a, maybe it's maybe not across the board

49
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,440
in like every trait, but I bet you,

50
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:13,978
I bet you everybody has something that they think they better at than they actually are So I think that probably a universal thing And that why I don say of the 60 of people that I meet who blame other people for the problems that they causing

51
00:03:14,138 --> 00:03:16,718
I don't even want to say what kinds of problems specifically.

52
00:03:16,918 --> 00:03:20,618
I just mean 60% of the people that I meet roughly are like that,

53
00:03:20,758 --> 00:03:24,558
whether that be problems at work, problems in their personal life, whatever.

54
00:03:26,158 --> 00:03:28,638
I just think it's funny that you said you met people roughly.

55
00:03:28,638 --> 00:03:30,298
and it made me think it was like a rough like

56
00:03:30,298 --> 00:03:31,698
hi I'm Joe

57
00:03:31,698 --> 00:03:33,898
only way I know how

58
00:03:33,898 --> 00:03:36,718
you know who has no sense of humor

59
00:03:36,718 --> 00:03:39,058
most parents

60
00:03:39,058 --> 00:03:42,478
like they don't get a joke

61
00:03:42,478 --> 00:03:43,678
they don't understand a joke

62
00:03:43,678 --> 00:03:46,898
like they're more interested in breaking down the schematics of the joke

63
00:03:46,898 --> 00:03:48,378
than like just

64
00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:49,498
getting it and laughing

65
00:03:49,498 --> 00:03:51,438
I feel like

66
00:03:51,438 --> 00:03:54,398
did Dennis hurt you recently

67
00:03:54,398 --> 00:03:55,478
with the joke that you made

68
00:03:55,478 --> 00:03:58,378
I don't do jokes with

69
00:03:58,378 --> 00:04:00,318
him because I mean I

70
00:04:00,318 --> 00:04:02,478
do like obvious ones I know how to laugh at but like

71
00:04:02,478 --> 00:04:04,438
like the other day I think I told you

72
00:04:04,438 --> 00:04:06,338
this we were saying something and he said like

73
00:04:06,338 --> 00:04:08,338
someone like pissed me off and I was telling the story about how they

74
00:04:08,338 --> 00:04:10,398
pissed me off and he wasn't responding

75
00:04:10,398 --> 00:04:12,218
at all he was just staring at me blankly and I

76
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:14,178
was telling this whole story and he didn't give me

77
00:04:14,178 --> 00:04:15,858
anything like no

78
00:04:15,858 --> 00:04:18,118
empathy like nothing like oh man that sucks

79
00:04:18,118 --> 00:04:20,138
oh man I'd be pissed too just sat there

80
00:04:20,138 --> 00:04:22,218
like a column and did

81
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:24,218
nothing and then so at the end of it I like took

82
00:04:24,218 --> 00:04:26,078
a second I was like then I killed her

83
00:04:26,078 --> 00:04:27,578
and then he like lost his shit

84
00:04:27,578 --> 00:04:35,558
i gotta do everything around here but uh yeah well at least he laughed at that though yeah

85
00:04:35,558 --> 00:04:40,598
he he pulled around at the end a little bit well i had to like bring in the big guns murder

86
00:04:40,598 --> 00:04:44,638
and now improv

87
00:04:44,638 --> 00:04:52,158
Hey sis.

88
00:04:52,678 --> 00:04:53,038
Yeah.

89
00:04:54,538 --> 00:04:55,498
Can you come here?

90
00:04:56,958 --> 00:04:59,478
I finished my invention.

91
00:05:00,558 --> 00:05:02,198
Oh, let me see.

92
00:05:02,358 --> 00:05:04,698
I'm just worried it's not very good.

93
00:05:05,198 --> 00:05:07,858
I'm sure it's better than whatever you're thinking.

94
00:05:09,158 --> 00:05:10,738
Okay, thanks for saying that.

95
00:05:11,298 --> 00:05:12,838
Let me take the curtain off it.

96
00:05:12,838 --> 00:05:17,318
It's made of high-tech industry-leading materials.

97
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,458
Stupid.

98
00:05:19,398 --> 00:05:20,878
Anyway, here it is.

99
00:05:24,478 --> 00:05:25,878
It's the cure for AIDS.

100
00:05:28,318 --> 00:05:29,738
It's a machine that does it.

101
00:05:30,418 --> 00:05:31,218
It does all diseases.

102
00:05:31,358 --> 00:05:32,098
So stupid.

103
00:05:33,418 --> 00:05:34,778
Wait, did you say it does all diseases?

104
00:05:34,778 --> 00:05:35,198
All of them.

105
00:05:35,278 --> 00:05:35,878
It starts with AIDS.

106
00:05:37,258 --> 00:05:39,058
Is it because it goes alphabetically?

107
00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:39,798
Yes.

108
00:05:40,398 --> 00:05:41,718
I didn't even tell it to do that.

109
00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:43,198
AIDS and then angina?

110
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:44,138
Yeah.

111
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,498
And then breath.

112
00:05:47,058 --> 00:05:47,938
It can even do breath.

113
00:05:48,258 --> 00:05:48,598
Wow.

114
00:05:48,778 --> 00:05:49,378
It can do it all.

115
00:05:49,918 --> 00:05:51,298
God, this is the dumbest thing ever.

116
00:05:51,578 --> 00:05:55,078
I should beat it to death with metal hammers.

117
00:05:55,358 --> 00:05:58,018
No, I think there might be some practical use for this.

118
00:05:58,078 --> 00:05:58,638
What are you...

119
00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:00,018
I think...

120
00:06:00,018 --> 00:06:00,778
I suck.

121
00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:02,578
Oh, I suck.

122
00:06:03,678 --> 00:06:04,778
No, no, no, no.

123
00:06:05,118 --> 00:06:18,076
Let me get in this thing No I pushed it in the pool Ah no It doesn work anymore I wanted to see if it would cure my cancer I didn know you had that I can build it again but who cares

124
00:06:19,656 --> 00:06:21,456
God, why am I so average?

125
00:06:22,276 --> 00:06:24,956
God, I, well, I don't know.

126
00:06:25,016 --> 00:06:31,976
I mean, you're bad at darts, but you're good at inventing.

127
00:06:32,176 --> 00:06:33,436
I thought that was a good invention.

128
00:06:34,016 --> 00:06:36,156
So I guess, well, I guess that does kind of even you out.

129
00:06:36,236 --> 00:06:36,996
That makes you average.

130
00:06:37,816 --> 00:06:39,416
You're bad at one thing and good at another,

131
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:42,616
so there's averages out to average.

132
00:06:43,496 --> 00:06:44,296
Yeah, you're right.

133
00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:45,996
Totally average person.

134
00:06:47,036 --> 00:06:49,756
By the way, I noticed that you're wearing glasses all of a sudden?

135
00:06:49,956 --> 00:06:50,956
Your vision's deteriorating?

136
00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:51,496
Yeah.

137
00:06:51,756 --> 00:06:52,396
Here, take this.

138
00:06:52,436 --> 00:06:52,876
I invented it.

139
00:06:52,916 --> 00:06:53,236
It's a pill.

140
00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:57,816
Wow, notice anything?

141
00:06:58,516 --> 00:06:59,856
Yeah, you can take the glasses off.

142
00:06:59,856 --> 00:07:00,976
Oh, it's suddenly all blurry.

143
00:07:01,096 --> 00:07:01,536
Oh, yeah.

144
00:07:01,536 --> 00:07:02,676
Yeah, it came to me in a dream.

145
00:07:03,636 --> 00:07:05,536
Oh, wait, I can...

146
00:07:05,536 --> 00:07:11,396
I can see through things now, too.

147
00:07:11,776 --> 00:07:14,576
Yeah, if you look up, you'll probably see lizard people in the fifth dimension.

148
00:07:14,756 --> 00:07:15,576
That's just a side effect.

149
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,996
Oh, my God, there's so many of them.

150
00:07:18,076 --> 00:07:20,336
Yeah, I don't know if it's a bug or a feature.

151
00:07:20,496 --> 00:07:21,396
I'm not sure at this point.

152
00:07:21,456 --> 00:07:22,096
Oh, my God.

153
00:07:22,196 --> 00:07:26,096
Oh, why are they looking at us like that?

154
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,816
Oh, God, I invented something with more questions than answers.

155
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:29,716
I'm so stupid.

156
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,036
Oh, no, I mean, this is amazing.

157
00:07:32,196 --> 00:07:33,576
No, I'm putting my fingers down your throat.

158
00:07:33,756 --> 00:07:33,976
No.

159
00:07:34,576 --> 00:07:35,416
Get that pill out.

160
00:07:35,536 --> 00:07:38,216
Oh, man. Hand me those glasses.

161
00:07:38,516 --> 00:07:41,336
There you go. Sorry. God, I have just no confidence. What do I do?

162
00:07:41,876 --> 00:07:50,056
I don't know. I mean, I would say we should go for a bike ride, but you still need training wheels.

163
00:07:50,116 --> 00:07:51,736
You're not good at riding a bike.

164
00:07:51,976 --> 00:07:54,916
I know. You don't have to point that out, but you're honest and that's cool.

165
00:07:55,236 --> 00:07:58,256
Yeah, that's part of your mediocrity, I suppose.

166
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,096
Yeah, honest talent. Strikes again.

167
00:08:01,016 --> 00:08:02,176
No, I don't know.

168
00:08:02,476 --> 00:08:04,036
I don't know...

169
00:08:04,036 --> 00:08:07,396
I don't know what we could do to...

170
00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:10,156
to push you above that average line.

171
00:08:11,496 --> 00:08:13,656
I guess...

172
00:08:13,656 --> 00:08:17,296
you're never going to be quite as exceptional as me.

173
00:08:17,436 --> 00:08:18,956
I'm really good at bike riding and darts.

174
00:08:19,556 --> 00:08:20,236
Yeah, that's true.

175
00:08:20,756 --> 00:08:22,376
And you don't waste your time with these pipe dreams.

176
00:08:23,096 --> 00:08:24,456
Can you teach me even more like you, Helen?

177
00:08:25,036 --> 00:08:25,436
Sure.

178
00:08:25,436 --> 00:08:25,536
Sure.

179
00:08:27,536 --> 00:08:28,956
Just come with me.

180
00:08:29,156 --> 00:08:30,056
Okay, lesson one.

181
00:08:30,096 --> 00:08:30,916
Come with you.

182
00:08:34,876 --> 00:08:35,816
Cut to the mall.

183
00:08:37,276 --> 00:08:37,716
Okay.

184
00:08:38,176 --> 00:08:39,416
Thanks to the orange Julius.

185
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:41,936
You're welcome.

186
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:43,776
That helps, right?

187
00:08:43,976 --> 00:08:45,176
Yeah, I feel like everyone else.

188
00:08:45,256 --> 00:08:46,496
Maybe being average isn't so bad.

189
00:08:47,296 --> 00:08:47,516
Yeah.

190
00:08:48,336 --> 00:08:48,776
Okay.

191
00:08:49,576 --> 00:08:55,176
Now, what's your instinct when you come to a mall?

192
00:08:55,256 --> 00:08:57,296
Where's the first store that you want to go?

193
00:08:57,296 --> 00:08:58,536
The first store I want to go?

194
00:08:58,716 --> 00:08:58,936
Yeah.

195
00:09:00,096 --> 00:09:03,256
Brookstone.

196
00:09:03,256 --> 00:09:04,256
Wrong.

197
00:09:04,256 --> 00:09:05,256
Oh.

198
00:09:05,256 --> 00:09:06,256
Mm-mm.

199
00:09:06,256 --> 00:09:07,256
Lesson two, no Brookstone.

200
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,256
Nope, no Brookstone.

201
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,256
Well, why not?

202
00:09:09,256 --> 00:09:10,256
Can I ask?

203
00:09:10,256 --> 00:09:22,014
Because it is a breeding ground for mediocrity You go there and you going to keep fostering these inventing pipe dreams of yours

204
00:09:22,654 --> 00:09:24,454
That's where I get most of my ideas, in a Brookstone.

205
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:25,054
I know.

206
00:09:25,394 --> 00:09:26,014
I know.

207
00:09:26,114 --> 00:09:26,554
No, no, no, no.

208
00:09:26,694 --> 00:09:30,014
Yeah, when the idea comes to me, I say, I'm Brookstoned up.

209
00:09:30,314 --> 00:09:30,574
Yeah.

210
00:09:30,754 --> 00:09:32,374
No one laughs, but I keep doing it.

211
00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:34,614
Yeah, exactly, because you're not funny either.

212
00:09:34,754 --> 00:09:36,114
That's one of the things that drives you down.

213
00:09:36,214 --> 00:09:36,634
Thanks, Helen.

214
00:09:37,114 --> 00:09:37,374
Yeah.

215
00:09:37,474 --> 00:09:37,774
Love you.

216
00:09:37,774 --> 00:09:49,414
so you need to get out there and be cool i'm i'm taking you to hot topic i dropped my orange julius

217
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:55,434
i know don't worry about that they got they got someone to clean it up yeah thank god yeah let's

218
00:09:55,434 --> 00:10:05,214
go i'm ready okay good to the hot topic oh yeah it's really uh it's loud in here yo yo yeah it's

219
00:10:05,214 --> 00:10:10,454
loud in here yeah now two ways now i want you to look around this is part of your training lesson

220
00:10:10,454 --> 00:10:17,434
three look around what is your instinct as to what you want to buy here in the hot topic

221
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:21,934
um now this is kind of a safe zone because there's not a single product in hot topic

222
00:10:21,934 --> 00:10:30,214
that isn't cool but there is a hierarchy of cool within hot topic okay i noticed the cashier

223
00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:34,714
is using a handheld laser device to scan items people are purchasing.

224
00:10:35,854 --> 00:10:36,114
No.

225
00:10:36,354 --> 00:10:37,454
I would definitely take that.

226
00:10:37,574 --> 00:10:40,194
Oh, that's not something you can buy.

227
00:10:40,554 --> 00:10:40,814
What?

228
00:10:40,994 --> 00:10:41,374
No.

229
00:10:42,194 --> 00:10:42,774
How ironic.

230
00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:44,454
Yeah.

231
00:10:44,994 --> 00:10:47,414
The thing that scans the items can't be bought.

232
00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:53,034
Pointing out irony is a really below average, not cool thing.

233
00:10:53,874 --> 00:10:57,514
Cool people don't point out irony when they see it in a while.

234
00:10:57,594 --> 00:10:57,674
I'm sorry.

235
00:10:57,674 --> 00:10:58,634
It seemed right.

236
00:10:58,734 --> 00:10:59,034
No.

237
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:05,514
This store is filled with cheap merchandise that will make you the coolest person on the planet.

238
00:11:05,774 --> 00:11:10,194
And you pick the one thing in the store that you couldn't buy?

239
00:11:10,654 --> 00:11:11,514
Can I try one more time?

240
00:11:12,234 --> 00:11:12,574
Yeah.

241
00:11:13,034 --> 00:11:13,474
The keyboard.

242
00:11:14,214 --> 00:11:15,014
Oh, my God.

243
00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:27,334
No, the correct answer would have been a lunchbox with Nightmare Before Christmas on it.

244
00:11:27,874 --> 00:11:28,914
That's number one.

245
00:11:29,034 --> 00:11:29,934
That never would have occurred.

246
00:11:30,554 --> 00:11:31,254
Wait a minute.

247
00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:32,894
I've got it.

248
00:11:33,494 --> 00:11:34,254
Hold on.

249
00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:35,154
Beep boop, beep boop.

250
00:11:35,554 --> 00:11:36,314
What was that?

251
00:11:36,394 --> 00:11:39,974
I just invented a machine that's going to make me the coolest person ever.

252
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:41,014
Impossible.

253
00:11:41,174 --> 00:11:42,034
Helen, I'm getting in.

254
00:11:42,454 --> 00:11:43,874
No, you can't invent your way out of this.

255
00:11:43,874 --> 00:11:44,274
I'm in.

256
00:11:44,494 --> 00:11:45,194
I'm closing the door.

257
00:11:45,494 --> 00:11:46,874
Lesson four, close the door.

258
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:59,454
you can call me Helen

259
00:11:59,454 --> 00:12:03,874
it's me

260
00:12:03,874 --> 00:12:06,694
end scene

261
00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:19,014
放棄