1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:22,320 so we got a new hand-held like shower thing in our shower you know like a hand spray thing 2 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:28,260 like a nozzle you can like take off and like yeah the boyfriend that's what i call mine 3 00:00:28,260 --> 00:00:37,900 okay well all right we won't get into that um anyway this it's great looking it's very beautiful 4 00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:42,660 looking but it was like functionally useless it was like the water would just like dribble out of 5 00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:46,880 this thing it was like this is there's zero pressure on this at all but then the plumber 6 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:52,260 came over the other day and uh he took out the little restrictor thing which is just it's just 7 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:58,260 like a little tiny thing inside this this shower it's like an iud for handheld showers and yeah 8 00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:05,220 and he took it out and suddenly it's like it's like what they clean elephants at the circus with 9 00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:07,500 it's unbelievable now it's the husband 10 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:16,100 stop making this gross francis i was just thinking like this is crazy that what that 11 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:24,140 little restrictor does so much and the poor people of california it's all their fault by the way it's 12 00:01:24,140 --> 00:01:29,260 all california's fault this is happening uh they got to sell it california style to everybody else 13 00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:34,720 poor californians just they don't understand because now it's like amazing it's like 14 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:40,720 my head is wet and like instantly it's great i love it and one family in california's pressure 15 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:41,600 got a little worse. 16 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:42,100 Yep. 17 00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:44,760 Let this be a lesson 18 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:45,880 and a reminder to all of us 19 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,000 that small things 20 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:47,880 do make an impact. 21 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,420 This reminds me of a pebble 22 00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:50,420 that was once in my shoe 23 00:01:50,420 --> 00:01:52,400 that made walking suck. 24 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:53,560 No. 25 00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:54,360 Yeah. 26 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:55,400 A tiny pebble. 27 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,260 Most of my foot 28 00:01:57,260 --> 00:01:58,420 was non-pebbled. 29 00:01:58,840 --> 00:01:59,800 One little pebble 30 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,580 ruined my walk. 31 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,220 What did you do about it? 32 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:03,840 I took my shoe off. 33 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:04,460 Uh-huh. 34 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:05,920 I turned my shoe upside down. 35 00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:06,360 Yeah. 36 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:07,340 Shook it about. 37 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:07,820 Uh-huh. 38 00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:09,300 And then the pebble left. 39 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:09,960 What? 40 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:10,960 Put the shoe back on. 41 00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:13,380 But the lesson remained. 42 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,100 But then you appreciated non-pebble walking so much more. 43 00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:17,420 Yeah. 44 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:21,900 Or like one tiny little piece of pollen or something gets in your eye. 45 00:02:23,020 --> 00:02:24,240 It's a showstopper. 46 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:24,700 Yeah. 47 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,520 Little things make the most impact. 48 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,520 Also, big things make an impact. 49 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,840 Both make impacts. 50 00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:32,520 Yeah, yeah. 51 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,220 But don't discount the little things. 52 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:34,520 Yes. 53 00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:36,060 Don't discount the big things. 54 00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:43,380 little things if you're listening and we know that you are we just want you to know we 55 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:50,440 we appreciate you and we know what an impact you have yes in this world yes welcome to very fine 56 00:02:50,440 --> 00:03:01,500 friends podcast where friends talk about stuff how are you francis how are you oh me yeah walking 57 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,440 on a dream. No pebbles 58 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,420 in your shoes? No, the pebbles are gone. My feet 59 00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:06,180 are soft like 60 00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:08,220 baby grass. 61 00:03:09,780 --> 00:03:11,080 Baby grass? Is that 62 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,320 brand new grass? 63 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,460 Yeah. Like little like whispers of 64 00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:17,280 grass? It's grass that hasn't been sat upon yet. 65 00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:19,020 It's grass that is new to the dew. 66 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,380 I have never thought of 67 00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:23,480 sprouting grass as baby 68 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:24,940 grass. You like it? 69 00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:26,320 I don't know. 70 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,500 I either like it or it's really 71 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,040 creepy. I can't figure it out. Okay. 72 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,080 I really need this. 73 00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:33,140 I love it. 74 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:35,560 God bless you. 75 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,500 Quick interruption. 76 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:47,540 Every week on the podcast, we do something where our producer Joe gives Francis and I each our own secret word. 77 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:55,900 Throughout the course of the podcast, we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing. 78 00:03:56,460 --> 00:04:00,200 If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point. 79 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:09,160 and right before we die we add up all the points and then we get a prize whoever has the most points 80 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:16,820 for guessing the most secret words here's joe with today's secret words jenna's secret word is 81 00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:27,000 commuted jenna's decoy word is fielding francis's secret word is decompose francis's decoy word is 82 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:35,340 footprints back to the podcast uh okay and you oh i care about you too thank you 83 00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:43,720 oh now that i'm just soaked to the gills in my shower uh i'm doing great so that's quite an image 84 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:50,380 and you can't take the image away from me that's happening right now nor would i want to thank you 85 00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:55,020 that one was for you appreciate and only you listeners i'm taking it away from you yeah no 86 00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:55,920 that's bonus material. 87 00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:56,400 Yep. 88 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:57,940 Get it. 89 00:04:58,180 --> 00:04:59,080 You gotta subscribe. 90 00:04:59,740 --> 00:04:59,900 Yeah. 91 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,280 We're putting the restrictor back on. 92 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:02,320 Ooh, 93 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:06,820 that's what the subscription versus non-subscription is. 94 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,060 It's like a restrictor. 95 00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:10,340 You don't get the good stuff. 96 00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:10,740 Yeah. 97 00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:13,400 It's like people that only listen to the main feed. 98 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,460 They're Californians. 99 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,620 But if you subscribe, 100 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,040 you're like an elephant at the circus. 101 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:23,080 Hey, 102 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,540 don't discount the main episodes. 103 00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:30,300 main episodes are great yeah you're the pebbles in our shoe the main the main episodes are with 104 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:37,160 the restrictor off and then subscribers get like that but god mode to a whole new level 105 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:43,480 that reminds me actually i don't know why i said reminds me i pretend i didn't but 106 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:50,140 uh this is not i regret this no okay well i was just thinking you know how one pebble in your shoe 107 00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:52,400 hertz? Yeah. What if you put a bunch of 108 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,400 them in there and you were just walking 109 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,340 on a bunch of one even layer of 110 00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:57,840 pebbles? That might even be nice. 111 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,340 Yeah, because it just evens the 112 00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:02,320 part of the problem with 113 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,340 the pebble is it's one 114 00:06:04,340 --> 00:06:05,200 single point. 115 00:06:07,780 --> 00:06:08,420 That sounds 116 00:06:08,420 --> 00:06:10,240 like a really good invention. Yeah, 117 00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:11,320 I'm writing it down. Pebble shoe. 118 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:14,120 I wrote down show. 119 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:16,520 Pebble shoe. 120 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,480 Yeah. Wow. We wouldn't have got here 121 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,600 if we hadn't talked about your shower. 122 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:20,640 Thank God. 123 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:21,760 Pebble shower. 124 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,440 Oh, so you're showering on pebbles. 125 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:25,740 Hmm. 126 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:27,380 All right, well, 127 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:31,880 let's listen up to a future episode for that one. 128 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,220 But for now, 129 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,800 let's get to the current invention of the week. 130 00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:40,900 Inventions. 131 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:44,420 Okay, y'all. 132 00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:47,320 Francis, I mean, we've already seen your wheels are churning. 133 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,520 Oh, yeah, I'm indefinitely in make it mode. 134 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,680 Or I'm in naked mode. 135 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,140 Well, two things can be true at once. 136 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:56,880 Okay. 137 00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:57,840 All right. 138 00:06:58,580 --> 00:07:03,540 I'm just going to lay out that this is a scientific invention. 139 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,140 It's medical in nature. 140 00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:05,960 Okay. 141 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:12,500 And as many elective procedures, I'm sure it's going to draw its fair share of complaint. 142 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,400 And so I'm preparing myself for that feedback now because I know it's not for everyone. 143 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:16,760 Okay. 144 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:17,840 Thank you. 145 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:18,800 That being said. 146 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:19,180 Yes. 147 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,080 You know how some people are fat? 148 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:23,240 I do know that. 149 00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:23,520 Yeah. 150 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:27,400 And you know how, even if they're not, you know some people just love to eat? 151 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,020 I know that as well. 152 00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:32,020 More than they want or more than they need, but they just want it. 153 00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:33,160 I know. 154 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,560 They want to gobble it up. 155 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,260 Your food's great. 156 00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:36,240 I want to gobble it. 157 00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:36,660 Yeah. 158 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,920 This invention is about to change the world. 159 00:07:41,180 --> 00:07:41,540 Okay. 160 00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:43,540 You know how... 161 00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:48,180 You know how there's colostomy bags? 162 00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:50,060 Yes. 163 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:53,680 Good. 164 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,120 That's good because it's a similar concept. 165 00:07:58,380 --> 00:07:58,900 Okay. 166 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,240 Here's the invention. 167 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:03,900 You eat. 168 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,840 And it goes down. 169 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,320 You pass to where you experience the flavor. 170 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,380 So it's done with the mouth. 171 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,460 and then it goes down 172 00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:17,480 and we install 173 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,340 a valve system 174 00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:21,860 that puts a food bag 175 00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:23,560 out to the side 176 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:24,800 before it gets to the tummy. 177 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,760 And when you want to eat for pleasure 178 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,000 you activate 179 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,140 the valve 180 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:32,500 so then when you eat 181 00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:34,220 you get to enjoy it 182 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:36,740 you chew it up, you swallow it 183 00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:38,340 goes down the tube 184 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:41,100 but before it can get to where it's trouble 185 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,360 it goes out into the food bag. 186 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,700 Okay, so this is an external bag? 187 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:49,260 Yeah. 188 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:50,940 But you can hide under clothes. 189 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:52,800 Or not. 190 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:53,840 This is expensive. 191 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:54,580 Show it off. 192 00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,580 And then... 193 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:03,100 So it's all inside your... 194 00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:05,400 It's bypassing your stomach. 195 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,940 But then how do you... 196 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:10,900 You still need some nutrition. 197 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:16,600 yeah that's that's the valve the valve okay so when we want to eat normally and healthy 198 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:24,860 make it you turn the valve um parallel to your body okay parallel 199 00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:33,600 yeah oh when it's party time you turn the valve perpendicular and then all the naughty delicious 200 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,720 food never has a chance to hurt you. 201 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,240 Okay. 202 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:44,380 How do you dispose of the naughty, delicious food? 203 00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:46,620 You empty the bag. 204 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:47,520 Eat it again. 205 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:48,260 Yeah. 206 00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:49,060 Oh. 207 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:59,580 You just, with the bag's here, you can, there's a second, smaller valve that allows you to 208 00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:04,860 deactivate the bag and you can just toss it or you can you know if you're frugal you can 209 00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:09,460 empty it and clean it it's just food you know or you can just get a new bag and luckily in the bag 210 00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:14,360 has a design on it it's opaque so don't worry that people could see you're not seeing 211 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:20,060 masticated food right no you're no one's seeing that okay um 212 00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:28,800 i feel like there's got to be a reason why this wouldn't work because no one's thought of it 213 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,920 I feel like people probably have thought about this before. 214 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:34,720 Okay. 215 00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:38,220 Is there any kind of proprietary technology involved in this? 216 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,540 The valve system is proprietary. 217 00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:40,180 Oh, okay, okay. 218 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,540 And I mentioned there's two valves. 219 00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:46,340 There's a main valve and then there's a secondary miniature valve for the bag. 220 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:48,540 So that some food... 221 00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:49,780 Well, you know, some people are stupid. 222 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,700 So like they're eating while they're taking the bag off. 223 00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:54,300 We don't want food to like pump out the hole. 224 00:10:54,300 --> 00:11:02,760 so this allows for non-stop eating and it while you're disposing like um refueling a plane in 225 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:09,860 midair or something yes yeah this is like this is buffet style is what we call that okay 226 00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:23,440 um it's pretty good right yes if it works for i'm worried about just 227 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,680 the absolute like 228 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:29,140 slovenly people 229 00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:30,600 that 230 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,660 are just going to 231 00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:34,660 literally never stop eating 232 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:37,280 as opposed to like being like 233 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,500 you know what I want to go 234 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,580 I want to go have a 235 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,320 rich French meal 236 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,920 at a nice bistro or something 237 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,120 and just treat myself 238 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,420 it's going to be the people that are just like non-stop ding-dongs 239 00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:53,420 are we enabling the non-stop ding-dongers? 240 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:59,260 They have to sign a promise when they get the surgery that they won't be slovenly. 241 00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:00,080 Okay. 242 00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:03,500 I want this to be for the elite, basically, is what I'm saying. 243 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,260 Well, it's a very... 244 00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:04,840 Yeah, it will be. 245 00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:06,980 I mean, because, you know, it's going to be very expensive. 246 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,260 And by elite, I don't... 247 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:11,340 This is not a money thing. 248 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:12,200 That's not what I mean. 249 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,900 Because you get disgusting people that are very rich, too. 250 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:19,840 I mean, I only want people that are not going to abuse it and be gross about it. 251 00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,560 That's who I consider elite. 252 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:30,480 um well we're here to make money so oh well i mean i also want i want the money yeah don't get 253 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:34,480 me wrong but what i'm saying i didn't want the word elite to trigger any kind of like 254 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:41,320 class i'm talking about like a respectability class system that's how i view things 255 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:46,580 which is irrespective of money i think that's beautiful that's part of what makes 256 00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:55,600 this surgery so nice okay we care good good yeah okay good and they're gonna have to sign something 257 00:12:55,600 --> 00:13:00,940 that says they won't abuse it yeah and they and they'll and they'll and it's a promise we're not 258 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:06,700 gonna follow up because we don't have time for that but um i just know that but don't abuse it 259 00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:12,100 yeah but don't but listeners but we might yeah it's like a it's like a random drug test uh we 260 00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,500 You might just show up at your door one day. 261 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,220 Super random. 262 00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:18,780 And if you've got a zebra cake in one hand and a ding dong in the other, 263 00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:21,520 and there's a whole bunch of used bags around you. 264 00:13:21,940 --> 00:13:23,020 We're taking the valves away. 265 00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:23,800 We're taking them back. 266 00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:25,780 No refunds. 267 00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:27,160 Uh, no. 268 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:27,540 Yeah. 269 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,120 That check is cleared. 270 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:29,660 Yeah. 271 00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:33,740 It clears the second we strap that bag to your body. 272 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:39,820 Um, I just know that this would have a huge, like, success rate. 273 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:52,560 And we could probably charge 50 grand for this I gotta say I like it better than something like Ozempic which is like putting chemicals into your body and we not sure the long effects of that 274 00:13:52,660 --> 00:14:00,460 This is just like literally not eating the food that you're eating. 275 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,800 Like it's just, it's effectively not eating food. 276 00:14:02,820 --> 00:14:04,740 We're just skipping the last few steps. 277 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,880 It's like medical bulimia, almost. 278 00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:10,260 Yes. 279 00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:10,380 Yes. 280 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,480 But then it's better for your teeth and your esophagus, I'm assuming. 281 00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:16,600 Of course. 282 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:18,640 There's only one downside. 283 00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:19,160 Yeah. 284 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:19,840 The bag. 285 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:20,780 I know. 286 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:22,740 But small price to pay. 287 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,380 And, you know, eventually you'll probably get to the way you want. 288 00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:26,880 You could take the bag off. 289 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:33,380 You can maybe have, like, some Rocco's Modern Life stickers on it to customize it and show it off. 290 00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:34,040 You know we will. 291 00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:36,280 The first thing I thought of was... 292 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,840 That'll be the first customized option. 293 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,400 Get those curlicues on the bag. 294 00:14:40,260 --> 00:14:42,600 Rocco's well-fed life 295 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:48,000 I feel a good energy coming from you 296 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,040 about this 297 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:49,620 I feel like 298 00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:52,660 I feel like I need to redeem myself for two weeks ago 299 00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:58,680 yeah 300 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:05,300 I don't remember what it was 301 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,400 I just remember I was ashamed 302 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,460 yeah I don't remember what it was either 303 00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:09,520 hence my long pause 304 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,100 I just went with you. 305 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:11,760 Okay. 306 00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:16,020 I don't think you've yet to have an invention that you should be ashamed of, Francis. 307 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:16,640 Thank you. 308 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,140 So I don't know what that's about. 309 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,700 Yeah, our invention footprints are clean. 310 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,760 Yeah, and I don't think you need to redeem yourself for anything. 311 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,940 I think you have a flawless record thus far. 312 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:27,720 Thank you. 313 00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:29,380 Thank you. 314 00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:30,020 No, thank you. 315 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,100 No, speaking of, I mean, just to add one thing on really quick. 316 00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:35,200 I was in my car in the way we were thinking about loose tubes. 317 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:35,900 Yeah. 318 00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:40,440 And I thought to myself, statistically speaking, every American thinks about loose tubes at least once a day. 319 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,160 That's probably why I was. 320 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:41,460 Yeah. 321 00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:41,980 It was my turn. 322 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:42,380 It was your turn. 323 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:42,780 Yeah. 324 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:49,400 But I was thinking, wow, what if we just, we can make one that's just, the beverage system can be in your closet. 325 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,520 It could be like per one room. 326 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,020 So it's like, oh, I've got, I've got water tube in my room. 327 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,200 Or like a CO2 can, so I can have my Diet Coke in my room. 328 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:58,480 It doesn't have to be all over the house. 329 00:15:58,600 --> 00:15:59,120 No, exactly. 330 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:02,800 I think that was even something that we talked about in the loose tubes episode. 331 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:07,940 Because I think I said something like, I never go in the office in my house. 332 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:13,620 So, you know, like, who's cleaning those tubes, basically? 333 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,400 Like, they're getting old. 334 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:16,380 They're getting stale. 335 00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:16,740 Yeah. 336 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,540 Well, now I tie the tubes into this week's invention. 337 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:20,780 Guess what? 338 00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:22,100 Now you can drink whatever you want, too. 339 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:23,840 Okay. 340 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,640 What about, here's the thing. 341 00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:27,920 What about with booze, though? 342 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:32,080 that you actually have to digest if you like want to feel the effects of 343 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:39,240 the alcohol right yeah so that goes that goes through so if i'm having like a nice glass of 344 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:44,920 wine with my food i gotta like keep like switching the valve back and forth so that i digest the wine 345 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:51,640 but i don't digest the food yeah if you want to get drunk but not that i want to get drunk 346 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:57,220 buzz buzz you want to you want to feel a little saucy yeah yeah well think about this this could 347 00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:58,140 be great for alcoholics. 348 00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:01,080 Just keep the 349 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,140 valve perpendicular and you won't 350 00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:04,160 get drunk. 351 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,180 Although their hands 352 00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:09,240 right there and they could just turn it back. 353 00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:11,460 Yeah. And I think 354 00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:14,300 more than just 355 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,300 the taste of the booze, I think 356 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:18,780 they like that drunk feeling. 357 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,900 Oh, so they're not going to get the surgery. 358 00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:23,160 I didn't know. Well, they might still get it for 359 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,440 food. True. 360 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:25,600 True. 361 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:27,820 Um. 362 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:29,120 Okay. 363 00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:30,440 I was thinking about calling it. 364 00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:31,500 I was just going to ask. 365 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,320 I'm trying to go with like. 366 00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:36,400 Yes. 367 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:36,840 Yes. 368 00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:37,020 Yum. 369 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:37,380 Not him. 370 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:39,720 Like yes. 371 00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:39,980 Yum. 372 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:40,460 Not him. 373 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:41,740 Yes. 374 00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:41,940 Yum. 375 00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:42,300 Not him. 376 00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:43,320 Yes. 377 00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:43,500 Yum. 378 00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:43,800 Not him. 379 00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:44,860 That sounds like. 380 00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:46,260 Yeah. 381 00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:48,140 Yeah. 382 00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:49,300 That. 383 00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:51,940 That sounds. 384 00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:54,620 Like if you. 385 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:55,540 The way you were saying that. 386 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,160 It sounds like if you play a word backwards. 387 00:17:57,220 --> 00:17:58,480 or like a person like pig. 388 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,860 You're right, but I wasn't. 389 00:18:04,140 --> 00:18:05,120 I wonder what that is 390 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:05,940 if we say it backwards. 391 00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:07,840 I'll write it down right now. 392 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,320 You can talk while I do this. 393 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:11,720 It's 394 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:15,260 Maran Muise. 395 00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:17,420 Yep. 396 00:18:19,940 --> 00:18:20,500 Maran Muise. 397 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,800 Well, no, it's mutton, so 398 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,500 never mind. I'm not going to go there. 399 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:26,540 Okay. 400 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,460 So that's one option. 401 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:33,880 Maybe something with like a guilty pleasure play or like, you know, no cow. 402 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,900 Corral, caler free. 403 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:41,020 Yeah. 404 00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:42,440 Caler free. 405 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:48,500 The Taurus system, because you said medical bulimia and bull is in bulimia. 406 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:50,160 Hmm. 407 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:52,200 Okay. 408 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:57,900 that'll take a little explaining but it's like a that's a 409 00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:07,920 no colostomy bag no colostomy bag no that sounds like you're scolding a colostomy bag 410 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:15,900 um a moment on the lips never on the hips forever on the lips never on the hips 411 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:21,260 on the hag 412 00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:23,560 or maybe just something with like buffet 413 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:24,880 or eat 414 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,980 eat your heart out 415 00:19:26,980 --> 00:19:29,960 eat your heart out 416 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,660 we're gonna have like 10 names on this one 417 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:33,240 yeah 418 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,060 go to veryfinefriends.com 419 00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:38,620 to not only see a picture of it 420 00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:40,480 but also all the names 421 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,580 that we come up with 422 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:44,380 and our invention of the week section 423 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,860 names. 424 00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:50,060 Okay, well, this... 425 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,900 Thank God you have that proprietary 426 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:52,860 valve system. 427 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,280 This is not one but two valves. 428 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,240 That's right, that second valve. 429 00:19:58,060 --> 00:19:59,840 Even though I feel like just making 430 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,860 the bags disposable is probably the best way 431 00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:04,040 to do it. For sure. And they're biodegradable 432 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,080 so they decompose. And then the food 433 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,240 can be then like it's compost-y? 434 00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:09,840 Yeah, you can compost it 435 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,740 and it can go in your... Oh my God. 436 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,560 It's just non-stop 437 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,360 recycling. God, we're so 438 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:17,640 earth-friendly. God. 439 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,520 All of our 440 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,420 composting just comes from junk food 441 00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:24,500 eventually. Non-stop 442 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,260 ding-dongs. 443 00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:27,600 What does my tomato look like a zebra cake? 444 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:29,520 I haven't gave it to me. 445 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,460 Yeah, I feel good about this. 446 00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:33,680 Yeah, I mean, well, 447 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,520 weight loss stuff, that sells. 448 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,440 Big time, that sells. 449 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,540 So, I mean. 450 00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:42,000 Weight loss, money gain. 451 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:52,820 yeah you're right yep weight loss money gain okay yes yum notum yes yum notum yes yum notum 452 00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:58,980 yes yum notum uh it's probably on shelves by the time this episode drops well not on shelves 453 00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:06,580 it's on doctor's shelves so make an appointment yep ask your doctor about yes yum notum do not 454 00:21:06,580 --> 00:21:15,480 use yes yum no tum if you are allergic to yes yum no tum uh great well um good job solving 455 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:20,480 fatness or obesity good job thanks round of applause for francis 456 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:28,380 anything but dieting and working out am i right hey exactly it's almost impossible to change 457 00:21:28,380 --> 00:21:33,060 behaviors so well you know less than one percent of obese people lose the weight and of the one 458 00:21:33,060 --> 00:21:39,300 percent of obese people who lose the weight almost none of them keep it off so the world needs this 459 00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:46,140 yeah yes it does and guess what i'm going out with the friends i can just take the bag off 460 00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:51,060 and go eat and have a meal i don't have to worry about the weird shape under my shirt 461 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:56,860 it's one meal yeah it's that's the way to do it just one meal and then you can 462 00:21:56,860 --> 00:22:00,960 so you're saying like bag it up when you're in private having 463 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,340 we just got the name bag it up 464 00:22:03,340 --> 00:22:09,800 yeah that was beautiful but yes that is what i'm saying okay joe's with the names 465 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:18,900 oh joe with the names all right bag it up yes yum yum 466 00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:23,240 forever on the lips never on the hips 467 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:27,820 the Taurus something 468 00:22:27,820 --> 00:22:29,460 Taurus system 469 00:22:29,460 --> 00:22:30,300 Taurus system 470 00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:33,280 no Colossi bad 471 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,380 bad 472 00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:38,160 I'm going to rub your nose in it 473 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,440 oh 474 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,140 oh no 475 00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:43,560 good job 476 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,060 we're going to be so rich 477 00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:46,280 I might win the Pulitzer 478 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,720 nope 479 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,220 that's the writing prize 480 00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:51,620 you could win a Nobel prize 481 00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:52,280 that's what I meant 482 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:58,160 I would also like, well, Joe in the Pulitzer for his writing ability with names of inventions. 483 00:22:58,640 --> 00:22:59,660 No, you just have to win something. 484 00:23:00,620 --> 00:23:02,120 I'm never going to win anything. 485 00:23:02,140 --> 00:23:04,660 No, you invented a pleasurable shower. 486 00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:08,860 No, I didn't invent that. 487 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,180 It was just unlocked for me. 488 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,880 I'll invent something and I'll win something someday. 489 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:15,440 You will, you will. 490 00:23:16,380 --> 00:23:17,340 You will. 491 00:23:17,540 --> 00:23:18,020 Thanks. 492 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:19,320 Thanks, man. 493 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:23,280 that wraps up the invention of the week 494 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:27,000 Francis are you ready for our next segment 495 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,980 ready 496 00:23:28,980 --> 00:23:31,640 our next segment is 497 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,500 old timey radio hour 498 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:40,100 turn on some of that old timey radio 499 00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:43,260 like the kind grandpappy used to do 500 00:23:43,260 --> 00:23:47,540 I will be telling a story 501 00:23:47,540 --> 00:23:52,500 and Francis will be providing the sound effects 502 00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:56,060 like in an old-timey radio program. 503 00:23:57,460 --> 00:23:58,660 Thank you for this honor. 504 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,240 No, thank you. 505 00:24:00,340 --> 00:24:03,280 It's really just a chance to showcase your sound effects skills. 506 00:24:03,460 --> 00:24:05,900 I've been training since I was two. 507 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,780 Whoa, that's a long time. 508 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:10,240 No wonder you're so good. 509 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:10,640 Yeah. 510 00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:13,080 Well, they used to hit me with a cane if I was bad. 511 00:24:13,940 --> 00:24:14,880 That's why I'm good. 512 00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:17,480 Oh, well, good old-fashioned caning. 513 00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:19,740 It was a face caning 514 00:24:19,740 --> 00:24:23,420 That's how we get our 515 00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:26,180 brightest, most talented people in this world 516 00:24:26,180 --> 00:24:28,820 The sound effects that you would make from the face caning 517 00:24:28,820 --> 00:24:30,980 were just so good that they'd stop right away 518 00:24:30,980 --> 00:24:32,540 Who would have thought 519 00:24:32,540 --> 00:24:33,160 I don't know 520 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,800 I would do such numbers 521 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,040 I'm here and I'm ready 522 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,400 Alright 523 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:43,540 It was a dark and stormy night 524 00:24:43,540 --> 00:24:49,140 Jessica was lost in the woods 525 00:24:49,140 --> 00:24:55,720 She was cold 526 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,240 Shivering 527 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,620 And wet 528 00:24:59,620 --> 00:25:04,840 Suddenly up ahead 529 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,320 She saw 530 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,780 A castle on a hill 531 00:25:08,780 --> 00:25:12,720 She saw it because 532 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,200 lightning came down from the sky 533 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,380 and lit the castle from behind. 534 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:21,160 There it is. 535 00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:23,820 It looked intimidating, 536 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,540 but Jessica knew she had to get out of this cold 537 00:25:26,540 --> 00:25:29,420 before the wolves got her. 538 00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:32,800 Just going to have to risk it. 539 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,800 And the wild giraffes 540 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,120 that were all over this town. 541 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:39,520 Neck! 542 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,520 Jessica ran to the front door 543 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,420 past the moat around the castle 544 00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:54,240 and came to the giant door knocker on the door 545 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,440 and she slammed that knocker one time 546 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:04,440 she slammed that knocker a second time 547 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:09,820 she slammed that knocker a third time 548 00:26:09,820 --> 00:26:11,660 suddenly 549 00:26:11,660 --> 00:26:15,000 the door creaked open 550 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:20,340 Jessica 551 00:26:20,340 --> 00:26:22,820 looked inside 552 00:26:22,820 --> 00:26:23,460 and there were 553 00:26:23,460 --> 00:26:27,380 torches flickering on the wall 554 00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:30,600 but she couldn't 555 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,080 there was no one to be found 556 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,460 Jessica 557 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:38,200 Jessica cried out 558 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,360 looking to see if there was anybody in the castle. 559 00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:42,420 Hey! 560 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,260 It's Jessica 561 00:26:45,260 --> 00:26:47,640 from the woods. 562 00:26:49,420 --> 00:26:52,480 All she heard was an echo of her previous words. 563 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:53,800 Hey! 564 00:26:54,540 --> 00:26:55,720 It's Jessica! 565 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,560 Jessica from the woods. 566 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,680 Before her in the entryway 567 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:08,000 was a tall, tall, long staircase. 568 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,180 I'm not doing that 569 00:27:11,180 --> 00:27:13,420 luckily 570 00:27:13,420 --> 00:27:16,040 right next to the staircase 571 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,040 was an elevator 572 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:21,980 it was one of those old timey elevators 573 00:27:21,980 --> 00:27:23,620 with the cage in the front 574 00:27:23,620 --> 00:27:39,220 got it Jessica went in and she looked at the buttons and she saw there was only two buttons 575 00:27:39,220 --> 00:27:41,440 one for the ground floor 576 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,800 and one that said 577 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,180 evil lair 578 00:27:45,180 --> 00:27:48,180 I'm already here 579 00:27:48,180 --> 00:27:50,140 two 580 00:27:50,140 --> 00:27:53,040 as the elevator 581 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,240 slowly rose 582 00:27:55,240 --> 00:28:01,140 to what Jessica could only assume was going to be an evil lair 583 00:28:01,140 --> 00:28:02,960 if the button was properly labeled. 584 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:08,860 She wondered, is this worth it? Is this a good idea? 585 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,820 Why do I still... 586 00:28:12,820 --> 00:28:15,660 Suddenly, the door flew open. 587 00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:16,360 Bing! 588 00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:16,960 Whoa. 589 00:28:18,540 --> 00:28:22,520 And standing before her, 590 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,680 There was another flash of lightning 591 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,980 Illuminating 592 00:28:28,980 --> 00:28:31,680 Illuminated by this flash of lightning 593 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,280 Was 594 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,180 An old man 595 00:28:35,180 --> 00:28:37,780 With crazy white hair 596 00:28:37,780 --> 00:28:39,320 Einstein's so bright 597 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,280 And a lab coat 598 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,320 And he's holding a beaker 599 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:46,060 And there's bubbling in the background 600 00:28:46,060 --> 00:28:52,480 Welcome 601 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,480 to my lab, 602 00:28:54,580 --> 00:28:55,680 my dear. 603 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:57,840 Oh, I do so hope I'm 604 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,720 welcome here. There was wolves outside 605 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,060 going awoo. 606 00:29:03,740 --> 00:29:04,380 I... 607 00:29:04,380 --> 00:29:06,820 Oh, I can hear the wolves now. 608 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:08,720 This is 609 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:09,320 scary. 610 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,460 Good for you, managing to 611 00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:14,120 avoid the evil 612 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:15,760 giraffes. 613 00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:17,980 Oh, yeah, so scary. 614 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,580 Nick! Can I come in? 615 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:22,280 What is this place? 616 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,600 This is my lair. 617 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:30,140 It's where I cook up all of my experiments. 618 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:32,080 Wow. 619 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,680 Jessica was weary, but it was warm inside the lair, 620 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,620 and she was still so chilled to the bone. 621 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,680 Come inside. 622 00:29:42,140 --> 00:29:48,140 I have just the thing to warm your little bones. 623 00:29:51,140 --> 00:29:52,420 What is that? 624 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:56,520 Come closer and you'll see. 625 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:57,340 Okay. 626 00:29:57,860 --> 00:30:02,900 Jessica's still wary, but there's something about the old man that intrigued her. 627 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,040 And she wanted to see more. 628 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:09,740 Here you go, my dear. 629 00:30:09,740 --> 00:30:10,560 What's that? 630 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:16,940 Drink this and you will feel the warmth of a summer sun. 631 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:20,880 Here we go. 632 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,920 suddenly 633 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,800 Jessica felt 634 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,560 warm through every single 635 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:31,640 part of her body 636 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,260 but not too warm 637 00:30:34,260 --> 00:30:35,980 just warm enough 638 00:30:35,980 --> 00:30:38,740 like that pleasant way when it's 639 00:30:38,740 --> 00:30:40,600 when you come out of a 640 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,740 cold movie theater in the summertime 641 00:30:42,740 --> 00:30:44,700 and the sun hits you and it feels 642 00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:45,600 good on your skin 643 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,260 thank you 644 00:30:48,260 --> 00:30:50,560 you're welcome my dear 645 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:56,100 Now, what else can I help you with? 646 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,760 Well, I need a place to sleep. 647 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:02,820 A place to sleep? 648 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:03,600 Just for the night. 649 00:31:03,860 --> 00:31:04,660 The wolves, remember? 650 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:06,620 Just for the night? 651 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:11,160 Are you sure you don't want eternal rest? 652 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,260 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 653 00:31:12,260 --> 00:31:14,160 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 654 00:31:15,660 --> 00:31:16,140 Oh. 655 00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:24,420 Jessica was wary, especially when that weird music played immediately after he said eternal rest. 656 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,080 But she needed a place to stay. 657 00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:29,040 I'm kind of desperate. 658 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,060 Come over here. 659 00:31:34,740 --> 00:31:35,780 Here I am. 660 00:31:35,780 --> 00:31:41,780 To a creaky little bed that I have set up in my lair. 661 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:44,680 But why? 662 00:31:46,140 --> 00:31:48,060 You wanted rest. 663 00:31:48,540 --> 00:31:49,040 All right. 664 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:51,240 I'll just get in it. 665 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:56,960 Thanks. 666 00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,140 You're welcome. 667 00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:09,360 Now, let me tuck you in with my space blanket that crinkles. 668 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,600 Chew! 669 00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:12,880 Chew! 670 00:32:13,260 --> 00:32:14,060 Chew! 671 00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:15,580 Chew! 672 00:32:16,140 --> 00:32:17,560 nice 673 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,440 now my dear you are welcome 674 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,500 to stay here for the evening 675 00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,600 and 676 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,420 I promise you 677 00:32:26,420 --> 00:32:27,760 you will have 678 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,560 the best dreams of your 679 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,040 life in this bed 680 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:34,300 not yet 681 00:32:34,300 --> 00:32:35,740 sorry 682 00:32:35,740 --> 00:32:37,620 comfortable creaky bed 683 00:32:37,620 --> 00:32:41,300 this will be the best sleep of your life 684 00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:42,760 you will have the best 685 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,880 dreams of your life but only if you 686 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,480 agree to one condition. 687 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,780 Jessica was wary, but the bed was so comfortable 688 00:32:50,780 --> 00:32:52,900 and she felt she was about to slip into 689 00:32:52,900 --> 00:32:54,620 beautiful slumber. 690 00:32:55,180 --> 00:32:57,040 So she had to answer the man quickly. 691 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:57,440 Okay. 692 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,800 No matter what you 693 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,200 dream tonight, 694 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,620 that 695 00:33:06,620 --> 00:33:09,160 dream will become mine. 696 00:33:10,100 --> 00:33:10,680 Fine. 697 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:12,200 I take it from you. 698 00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:13,260 Okay. 699 00:33:13,260 --> 00:33:15,660 I agree. 700 00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:21,260 Jessica dreamed. 701 00:33:21,820 --> 00:33:23,760 She dreamed the dream 702 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,580 of 703 00:33:25,580 --> 00:33:27,600 a car. 704 00:33:28,500 --> 00:33:29,200 A car. 705 00:33:31,340 --> 00:33:33,560 A fast car. 706 00:33:35,020 --> 00:33:35,760 One that she could 707 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,580 take to Bumper Boulevard. 708 00:33:38,580 --> 00:33:41,300 And no matter 709 00:33:41,300 --> 00:33:44,420 how much she abused the car. 710 00:33:45,020 --> 00:33:46,180 It would never break 711 00:33:46,180 --> 00:33:47,640 and it would never get a dent. 712 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,360 And she would be 713 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:56,900 forever 714 00:33:56,900 --> 00:33:59,440 with this car. 715 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,640 This car would be one with her. 716 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:03,780 This car would be 717 00:34:03,780 --> 00:34:06,540 her second home. 718 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:07,580 Her first home. 719 00:34:08,940 --> 00:34:10,860 Her second home is no more. 720 00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:15,140 she now lives in this car, 721 00:34:15,420 --> 00:34:17,740 but not in a weird way. 722 00:34:17,980 --> 00:34:18,260 Oh, 723 00:34:18,700 --> 00:34:19,400 honk. 724 00:34:21,540 --> 00:34:23,980 And society accepts this. 725 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:24,800 Yay! 726 00:34:30,980 --> 00:34:33,500 And she wakes up 727 00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:36,520 so exhilarated 728 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,440 from her dream. 729 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:39,000 Wow! 730 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:41,260 Wow! 731 00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:44,200 Ah, yes, my dear. 732 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,920 I was able to see your dream. 733 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,380 I could see the car. 734 00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:51,920 And I've taken that dream. 735 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:53,960 Per contract. 736 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:57,900 Look over here, my dear. 737 00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:02,100 Look. 738 00:35:02,540 --> 00:35:04,380 Jessica looked over and she saw the car. 739 00:35:04,940 --> 00:35:09,820 The very car that was in her dreams was now in the mad scientist's lair. 740 00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:10,720 My vroom vroom. 741 00:35:10,720 --> 00:35:12,040 in this room room. 742 00:35:14,860 --> 00:35:16,260 Yes, my dear. 743 00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:18,080 Here you go. 744 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,840 This is now your first home. 745 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:24,600 I have a homeowner. 746 00:35:25,660 --> 00:35:28,260 But here's the catch. 747 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,780 The door is too small for you to drive out. 748 00:35:36,780 --> 00:35:39,780 You are stuck here with me for eternity. 749 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:41,720 Honk, honk, honk. 750 00:35:41,780 --> 00:35:42,280 Oh, no. 751 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:46,000 All the honking won't get you out of my lair. 752 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,400 You now live in my lair. 753 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,740 You are my prisoner forever. 754 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:52,720 I know what to do. 755 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,440 Oh, get in here. 756 00:35:56,820 --> 00:35:57,180 What? 757 00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:58,740 Neck, neck. 758 00:35:59,620 --> 00:36:00,400 Get in here. 759 00:36:01,340 --> 00:36:05,860 Suddenly, a gang of wolves and giraffes came in. 760 00:36:05,860 --> 00:36:06,520 Neck. 761 00:36:08,220 --> 00:36:10,460 And they captured the mad scientists. 762 00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:16,800 And the mad scientist was, please, please, no, no. 763 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,840 I must appeal to your better nature, wolves and giraffes. 764 00:36:20,420 --> 00:36:20,820 Kill him. 765 00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:21,580 Take me. 766 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:22,400 Don't kill me. 767 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:24,900 Don't kill me. 768 00:36:25,260 --> 00:36:25,740 Take me. 769 00:36:26,580 --> 00:36:30,540 Just take me to a judge, and we'll do whatever he said is fair. 770 00:36:30,540 --> 00:36:30,800 Attention. 771 00:36:31,140 --> 00:36:31,480 Guilty. 772 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:32,440 Kill him. 773 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,820 So the mad scientist, after seeing the judge, was in prison. 774 00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:39,640 but then he started a 775 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,840 letter writing campaign 776 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,040 and eventually 777 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:45,780 his sentence was commuted 778 00:36:45,780 --> 00:36:47,520 and he made his way back 779 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:48,360 to 780 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,220 the tower 781 00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:53,880 where he lived to capture 782 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,300 another Jessica 783 00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:56,120 again 784 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,180 mwahaha 785 00:36:58,180 --> 00:37:03,920 thank you listeners 786 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,080 for listening to our broadcast of 787 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,260 Jessica and the Mad Scientist. 788 00:37:10,260 --> 00:37:11,820 We hope you enjoyed it. 789 00:37:12,780 --> 00:37:16,740 Tune in next week for another gory tale. 790 00:37:19,900 --> 00:37:20,960 That was original. 791 00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:23,020 Thank you. 792 00:37:24,060 --> 00:37:24,960 I wrote it myself. 793 00:37:25,460 --> 00:37:28,460 Yeah, normally you can trace those stories back to like Grimm's or something, but... 794 00:37:28,460 --> 00:37:28,660 No. 795 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:29,000 No? 796 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,720 No, that's a Jenna. 797 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:33,120 Yeah. 798 00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:34,500 I'm gonna trace it back to a Jenna. 799 00:37:34,500 --> 00:37:36,760 You know, you never see wolves and giraffes together. 800 00:37:37,940 --> 00:37:39,460 I like them together, though. 801 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:40,120 Yeah, they make sense. 802 00:37:40,700 --> 00:37:44,680 Wolves are kind of long and they're long parallel to the ground. 803 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,460 Giraffes are perpendicular long. 804 00:37:48,540 --> 00:37:50,600 It all comes back to valves, doesn't it? 805 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,200 It's all the valve system. 806 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:56,360 You put the parallel and the perpendicular together and you get a plus sign. 807 00:37:57,500 --> 00:38:00,500 You could, like how they have like H and C in the hot and cold faucets. 808 00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:02,640 faucets you could have like a wolf 809 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,620 when you want to get rid 810 00:38:04,620 --> 00:38:05,940 of the food and then a giraffe. 811 00:38:05,940 --> 00:38:07,760 Yeah. That would be cute. 812 00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:08,440 Yeah, it would be. 813 00:38:09,260 --> 00:38:10,160 That's the upgraded model. 814 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:11,960 Yep. 815 00:38:13,060 --> 00:38:14,960 The standard one says fat and thin. 816 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:16,820 The upgraded model 817 00:38:16,820 --> 00:38:19,880 is bag it and tag it. 818 00:38:20,500 --> 00:38:20,840 Oh. 819 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,040 I know 820 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,520 that's like hunting, but to me it 821 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:26,820 feels like dating. 822 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:28,260 Bag it, tag it. 823 00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:28,520 Yeah. 824 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:29,740 yeah 825 00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:32,480 oh look at that one on the floor 826 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:33,100 dance floor 827 00:38:33,100 --> 00:38:34,820 are you going to bag that and tag that? 828 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:36,920 yeah 829 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,420 my hunting rifle 830 00:38:39,420 --> 00:38:44,000 alright well 831 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,280 that was a very successful old timey radio hour 832 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:46,780 I think 833 00:38:46,780 --> 00:38:50,640 well now they sure don't make radio 834 00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:52,260 like that no more 835 00:38:52,260 --> 00:38:54,520 yeah I enjoyed 836 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:54,980 your story 837 00:38:54,980 --> 00:38:56,760 I enjoyed your sound effects 838 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,300 I knew that's what 839 00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:01,040 giraffes sounded like 840 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:01,880 yuck 841 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,700 I studied under Jane Goodall's cousin 842 00:39:05,700 --> 00:39:07,860 Veronica Goodall 843 00:39:07,860 --> 00:39:10,180 she was working with giraffes 844 00:39:10,180 --> 00:39:13,120 Jane 845 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,380 okay 846 00:39:15,380 --> 00:39:16,640 sometimes 847 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:21,980 stupid 848 00:39:21,980 --> 00:39:23,140 very laugh 849 00:39:23,140 --> 00:39:24,780 thank you 850 00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:25,040 Yeah. 851 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,820 Time for one final segment on the show. 852 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,440 The big question. 853 00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,360 The question is very big. 854 00:39:36,940 --> 00:39:39,840 Francis, I really hope you have a big question because I don't have one. 855 00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:40,820 Actually, I do. 856 00:39:41,140 --> 00:39:41,620 Great. 857 00:39:43,660 --> 00:39:48,520 I'm going to task you with coming up with one or two or whatever, whatever you think of. 858 00:39:49,020 --> 00:39:50,200 I was thinking this earlier. 859 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:59,700 You know how families have made up like baloney like myths, but the kids don't know it's fake. 860 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:04,100 You know, like the one that comes to mind is like, oh, you can't drive with the light on in the car or you'll get pulled over. 861 00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:10,480 Or like there's that stretch of highway camera where it is, but there's like a fake animal they tell you to look for the kids to look for. 862 00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:13,760 So they shut them up and they're like looking for this like fake animal. 863 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:15,360 A jackalope is it? 864 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:21,660 uh in my family my older siblings would tell me that we had that i had another brother named jason 865 00:40:21,660 --> 00:40:27,640 and anytime they would want me to not do something they would say hey just stop doing that that's how 866 00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:35,080 jason died that's pretty good yeah that's pretty good it was effective so you can't use that one 867 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:40,040 okay but i was thinking you could invent another one that's like really 868 00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:41,700 Like, heinous. 869 00:40:42,060 --> 00:40:43,180 I mean, heinous is my word. 870 00:40:45,100 --> 00:40:49,060 Well, like, some of these lores are just, like, preventative lore. 871 00:40:49,360 --> 00:41:00,380 Like, when I was a kid, my mom, if we went to, like, McDonald's or whatever, and we were eating there, she would always tell us that a kid just threw up in the ball pit. 872 00:41:00,380 --> 00:41:03,500 And so we couldn't go play in the play area. 873 00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:06,240 and that was her way of 874 00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:07,620 of stopping 875 00:41:07,620 --> 00:41:08,320 because we were like 876 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:09,680 she would be non-stop 877 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,600 like fielding requests 878 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:12,900 to go play in the ball pit 879 00:41:12,900 --> 00:41:13,200 right 880 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:26,620 and that would be her way of saying like oh I would let you but I can so that wasn really like as terrible she doesn have to be preventative here let me give you an example of one i thought of 881 00:41:26,620 --> 00:41:32,700 so it could be anything so here's what i was thinking i was thinking you could tell your kids 882 00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:40,140 when you're boiling water um you have to change the boiling water every five minutes or the food 883 00:41:40,140 --> 00:41:40,840 will become poisonous. 884 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,480 Because I thought it would be funny to like, 885 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:44,840 so you're boiling water. 886 00:41:44,980 --> 00:41:46,000 Like once it reaches boiling, 887 00:41:46,100 --> 00:41:47,460 it can only be used for five minutes. 888 00:41:47,740 --> 00:41:49,440 But foods take longer than that to cook. 889 00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:49,820 Yes. 890 00:41:49,940 --> 00:41:51,540 So you have to boil two pots of water. 891 00:41:51,700 --> 00:41:52,780 And then after five minutes, 892 00:41:52,860 --> 00:41:54,800 you transfer the food to the other boiling water. 893 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,560 But that water has also been boiling. 894 00:41:58,660 --> 00:42:02,340 But also the food entering the water 895 00:42:02,340 --> 00:42:05,440 is what starts the boiling going bad. 896 00:42:07,220 --> 00:42:07,780 Oh. 897 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:08,920 Boil the boil. 898 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:10,000 Ooh. 899 00:42:10,140 --> 00:42:16,320 spoil the boy yeah it comes with a rhyme you know it's real let's see what would i do so right now 900 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:23,040 it sounds like we're just messing with future generations yeah okay oh another one i just 901 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:29,300 thought of which wasn't really like a like a lore thing in my family but it was amusing to me in 902 00:42:29,300 --> 00:42:35,360 retrospect um one time my older brother mj and i were in the car waiting we were like in the car 903 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:38,600 waiting for my dad to come out of the grocery store it wasn't like a hot day or anything we 904 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:46,060 weren't like trapped in the car i was probably like five and he was so that would have made him 905 00:42:46,060 --> 00:42:53,080 like eight um and so we were just sitting in the car waiting and he told me that if you press the 906 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:58,360 garage door button when you're not in front of the garage door the house will explode 907 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:03,820 and i was like that's not true and he's like well then press it if you don't think it's true 908 00:43:03,820 --> 00:43:09,880 i was like i don't know what if it is true and then eventually like i pressed it and he was like 909 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:16,140 holy cow what if that was true our house would have exploded and i was like well it didn't so 910 00:43:16,140 --> 00:43:21,620 it's okay but i i was willing to take that risk as a five-year-old i guess i forgot what i was 911 00:43:21,620 --> 00:43:28,740 gonna say after i thought of that okay so you would do the boiling water trick 912 00:43:28,740 --> 00:43:36,840 trick yeah okay i would tell my kids that every time they sneeze 913 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:45,000 they need to hop around on one foot counterclockwise to avoid getting an aneurysm 914 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:52,660 oh that's got serious yeah like if you don't want to die immediately immediately when you sneeze 915 00:43:52,660 --> 00:43:54,860 you gotta do that 916 00:43:54,860 --> 00:43:55,820 cause like that 917 00:43:55,820 --> 00:43:59,120 helps like circulate the blood in your head 918 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:00,620 cause the sneeze opens something 919 00:44:00,620 --> 00:44:02,060 I would believe that as a child 920 00:44:02,060 --> 00:44:04,120 like oh it makes sense I'm circulating my blood 921 00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:05,240 and then I wanna see 922 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:06,980 but the problem is I'd have to do it too 923 00:44:06,980 --> 00:44:08,160 well at least only when they're around 924 00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:10,680 but I wanna see like is this something that they 925 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,840 do like well into adulthood 926 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:15,420 and like would anyone call it out 927 00:44:15,420 --> 00:44:18,000 would be fun to see 928 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,360 my kids like in a business meeting 929 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:21,260 or something like 930 00:44:21,260 --> 00:44:23,560 and I'm there for some reason 931 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,120 in this business meeting. 932 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:26,160 You're the one hiring them. 933 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:26,460 Yeah. 934 00:44:26,740 --> 00:44:27,920 I'm just there in the newspaper 935 00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:28,880 with two eye holes cut out. 936 00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:30,140 With a finger mustache. 937 00:44:31,660 --> 00:44:32,400 I like that. 938 00:44:32,460 --> 00:44:34,600 That's sufficiently just nuts. 939 00:44:34,820 --> 00:44:35,740 They lose their job 940 00:44:35,740 --> 00:44:36,720 and you're just laughing. 941 00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:38,920 You look so dumb. 942 00:44:39,140 --> 00:44:39,340 You idiot. 943 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,060 I can't believe you believed me, 944 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:41,640 your parent. 945 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,880 I can't believe you trusted me enough, 946 00:44:45,500 --> 00:44:46,840 stupid morons. 947 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:48,100 I don't know if my family, 948 00:44:48,380 --> 00:44:48,920 like my dad, 949 00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,120 I don't know if he ever did anything like that. 950 00:44:51,260 --> 00:44:59,520 Was there anything like, yeah, now I'm wondering, is there something weird that I just never questioned that was always a lie? 951 00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:02,260 I mean, your family seems more creative. 952 00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:03,840 I don't think my dad has a creative button on his body. 953 00:45:04,380 --> 00:45:07,720 He's more like the, don't do that kind of person. 954 00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:11,260 The why I oughta kind of guy. 955 00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:11,600 Yeah. 956 00:45:12,240 --> 00:45:14,680 The Kenya in the face kind of guy. 957 00:45:20,260 --> 00:45:20,660 Okay. 958 00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:28,160 jump up and down joe that was a little cough oh coughs uh oh coughs should have something too 959 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:32,900 yeah you gotta oh that would be so mean like because when you have a like when you're sick 960 00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:37,520 and you have a bad cough there's nothing worse than that i would rather be sick to my stomach 961 00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:45,240 than have like a non-stop cough let me ask you one last question okay if you had to come up with 962 00:45:45,240 --> 00:45:50,800 a new condition because this is like tangent related okay if you come up with a new condition 963 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:53,600 that if you came down with it, 964 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:54,780 something weird happened to you, 965 00:45:54,860 --> 00:45:55,860 what would the condition be? 966 00:45:57,940 --> 00:45:59,160 Here, let me give you an example. 967 00:45:59,400 --> 00:45:59,500 Yeah. 968 00:46:01,020 --> 00:46:01,860 Let's say 969 00:46:01,860 --> 00:46:06,920 there's a new airborne disease. 970 00:46:07,140 --> 00:46:09,440 And if you get this new airborne disease, 971 00:46:09,980 --> 00:46:12,580 every time someone laughs, 972 00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,260 you like mock laugh back at them. 973 00:46:15,020 --> 00:46:15,440 Like they'd be like, 974 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:16,460 and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. 975 00:46:16,460 --> 00:46:24,120 so is it something i would want to happen or not want well i mean i wouldn't want that because 976 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,940 no one would know if you were it's like they just have to believe you're like no i have 977 00:46:27,940 --> 00:46:40,340 i have hee-haw itis and they're like sure you know okay uh this is a water-based disease 978 00:46:40,340 --> 00:46:47,160 airborne gets all the fun diseases i feel like there should be more that's transmitted via water 979 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:51,860 you're right well you're here now okay yeah is this from just bad water or random water 980 00:46:51,860 --> 00:46:58,880 or lake water it's like if if a certain disease it can only live in water so if it just happens 981 00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:03,060 to get into the water so it could be coming from anywhere oh scary yeah this is real scary i know 982 00:47:03,060 --> 00:47:04,780 spooky 983 00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:07,600 it gives you a condition 984 00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:09,860 where every 985 00:47:09,860 --> 00:47:13,120 now all I can think about is sneezing 986 00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:14,980 not sneezing 987 00:47:14,980 --> 00:47:17,140 every time 988 00:47:17,140 --> 00:47:21,860 someone says the word god 989 00:47:21,860 --> 00:47:24,940 you just 990 00:47:24,940 --> 00:47:27,240 you involuntarily go 991 00:47:27,240 --> 00:47:29,080 yes my son 992 00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:40,040 and then you'd have to constantly be exposed no i don't think i'm god i i swear 993 00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:47,200 yeah the drink out of the wrong loose tube someone didn't clean the office loose tubes 994 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:53,540 oh that is very funny i feel like that's something i've done on purpose a few times yeah yeah yeah 995 00:47:53,540 --> 00:47:57,720 but it'd be funny if you couldn't especially you realize people probably say it all the time 996 00:47:57,720 --> 00:47:59,780 I mean just like even someone going oh my god 997 00:47:59,780 --> 00:48:01,740 like that would be every single time 998 00:48:01,740 --> 00:48:04,080 right yeah that would make me laugh 999 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,900 especially if the first time didn't make me laugh 1000 00:48:05,900 --> 00:48:07,640 the second time I'd be like ah it's funny now 1001 00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:10,060 and then like the eighth time you'd be like 1002 00:48:10,060 --> 00:48:11,860 shut up and then by like the 1003 00:48:11,860 --> 00:48:13,520 18th it'd come back around again 1004 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,140 smiling again against your wishes 1005 00:48:15,140 --> 00:48:17,860 yeah thank you that's funny 1006 00:48:17,860 --> 00:48:19,980 my disease is 1007 00:48:19,980 --> 00:48:21,800 it's a skin to skin contact 1008 00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,100 disease and when you get it 1009 00:48:24,100 --> 00:48:25,720 if someone 1010 00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:27,680 is about to sit down 1011 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,040 within five feet of you, you involuntarily 1012 00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:31,800 put your hand palm up on the chair 1013 00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:32,860 that they're about to sit in. 1014 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:35,220 Give me that. 1015 00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:39,640 Oh, but then you're then further 1016 00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,120 spreading the disease. This would go real fast. 1017 00:48:42,700 --> 00:48:43,800 You'd have to like avoid 1018 00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:45,940 chairs if you had it. 1019 00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:47,480 This would be like non-stop. 1020 00:48:47,580 --> 00:48:49,780 Everyone's just going like hands everywhere. 1021 00:48:50,060 --> 00:48:50,920 Imagine you're in school. 1022 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,760 Especially if they're not 1023 00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:54,760 wearing pants either. 1024 00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:56,800 Oh my goodness. 1025 00:48:57,680 --> 00:48:58,120 Oh yeah. 1026 00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:01,940 I think everyone would suddenly start wearing gloves 1027 00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:02,760 all the time. 1028 00:49:03,500 --> 00:49:05,520 So that if you had the disease... 1029 00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:06,960 Also people know, don't sit around me. 1030 00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:10,000 Don't come within five feet, or if you do come within five feet 1031 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,640 and be prepared to get your 1032 00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:13,940 cheeks honked. 1033 00:49:15,900 --> 00:49:17,500 Yeah, that should be with a name. 1034 00:49:19,740 --> 00:49:20,920 Caboose honking disease? 1035 00:49:21,340 --> 00:49:22,880 Yeah, sounds like with a hyphen. 1036 00:49:23,140 --> 00:49:24,720 It sounds like the name of someone. 1037 00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:26,780 It'll spawn a whole generation of children 1038 00:49:26,780 --> 00:49:30,180 who grow accustomed to sitting down really fast. 1039 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:32,400 But then you know someone's going to be like, 1040 00:49:32,900 --> 00:49:34,300 I swear I've got it. 1041 00:49:37,100 --> 00:49:38,660 Sit down, my son. 1042 00:49:40,540 --> 00:49:41,660 They have two diseases. 1043 00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,640 Oh, that's a rare strain called the hand of God. 1044 00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:51,320 Yes. 1045 00:49:52,420 --> 00:49:53,380 We did it. 1046 00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:53,940 All right. 1047 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:55,540 Well, good job, us. 1048 00:49:55,540 --> 00:49:58,360 we successfully answered the big question. 1049 00:49:59,060 --> 00:49:59,800 The big question. 1050 00:50:00,460 --> 00:50:02,800 It's time for one final thing. 1051 00:50:03,540 --> 00:50:04,760 Okay, this is tough for me. 1052 00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:05,380 Oh, go ahead. 1053 00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:06,660 No, you go ahead. 1054 00:50:06,740 --> 00:50:08,040 No, this one's really hard for me 1055 00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:10,060 because I got nothing for you 1056 00:50:10,060 --> 00:50:13,040 because nothing at all stood out to me as weird. 1057 00:50:13,860 --> 00:50:15,540 So I'm going to... 1058 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:17,540 So first we... 1059 00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:19,380 How do we do the invention? 1060 00:50:22,380 --> 00:50:23,140 I don't... 1061 00:50:23,140 --> 00:50:24,140 I got nothing. 1062 00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:25,480 Nothing. 1063 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:27,440 That was it. 1064 00:50:27,500 --> 00:50:28,200 That was my word. 1065 00:50:28,420 --> 00:50:29,100 But you said your word? 1066 00:50:29,300 --> 00:50:31,200 I said my word and I said my decoy word. 1067 00:50:31,860 --> 00:50:32,160 Okay. 1068 00:50:32,420 --> 00:50:32,920 Oh, man. 1069 00:50:32,980 --> 00:50:33,240 I don't even. 1070 00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:37,180 This is so bad because I don't even have like a real guess. 1071 00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,680 So I guess if I had to pick something I would say we were talking about. 1072 00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:45,680 Sorry. 1073 00:50:46,020 --> 00:50:50,920 We were talking about the invention, which I think I'm going to guess this is when you said it. 1074 00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:53,000 is during invention. 1075 00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,320 And I'm going to say that the word that you, 1076 00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:57,500 that was your word was, 1077 00:50:57,620 --> 00:50:58,460 we were talking about, 1078 00:50:59,940 --> 00:51:02,180 I don't know. 1079 00:51:03,060 --> 00:51:03,580 I don't know. 1080 00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:04,720 Wow. 1081 00:51:04,860 --> 00:51:05,800 No guess, period. 1082 00:51:06,240 --> 00:51:07,380 Oh, I want to have a guess though. 1083 00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:07,960 Yeah, you should. 1084 00:51:08,020 --> 00:51:10,480 I feel like if you literally don't even have one single guess, 1085 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,700 then that should get me a point. 1086 00:51:13,700 --> 00:51:14,420 That's what I wrote down. 1087 00:51:15,140 --> 00:51:16,000 You wrote down? 1088 00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:16,760 A picture. 1089 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:17,420 A picture. 1090 00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:19,320 Okay, then I'm going to say it's, 1091 00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:28,900 doctor. 1092 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:32,680 That is not my word. 1093 00:51:33,100 --> 00:51:33,620 Okay. 1094 00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:36,300 Let me guess one more. 1095 00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:36,680 Okay. 1096 00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:38,080 Am I right? 1097 00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:38,820 It was during invention? 1098 00:51:39,940 --> 00:51:40,460 No. 1099 00:51:40,780 --> 00:51:41,840 Shoot balls. 1100 00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:42,440 Okay. 1101 00:51:43,660 --> 00:51:45,860 Then I'm just going to throw a wild hair out 1102 00:51:45,860 --> 00:51:47,260 and I'm going to say 1103 00:51:47,260 --> 00:51:48,800 giraffe. 1104 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:51,720 That was not my word. 1105 00:51:52,980 --> 00:51:53,540 Okay. 1106 00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:53,940 Beaker? 1107 00:51:54,660 --> 00:51:55,040 Nope. 1108 00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:55,780 Okay. 1109 00:51:55,940 --> 00:51:56,340 All right, I'm done. 1110 00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,560 It was during old-timey radio hour. 1111 00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:00,220 It was? 1112 00:52:00,460 --> 00:52:00,720 Yep. 1113 00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:02,960 Towards the end. 1114 00:52:03,860 --> 00:52:06,040 My word was commuted. 1115 00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,180 Yeah, that slipped in nice. 1116 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:09,640 Yeah. 1117 00:52:10,340 --> 00:52:14,360 I had to get the doctor in jail so that he had to do a letter writing campaign, 1118 00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:16,720 and then a sentence was commuted. 1119 00:52:16,720 --> 00:52:18,460 I was really into that segment. 1120 00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:25,400 Yeah. You actually picked up your thing right after you said it, but then you used it to make sound effects. 1121 00:52:25,660 --> 00:52:26,640 Oh, yeah. 1122 00:52:27,060 --> 00:52:29,060 I was like, oh, I was working too hard. 1123 00:52:29,060 --> 00:52:34,760 Yeah, you, you, I said commuted and then you picked up your index card and then I was like, shit, he's got it. 1124 00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:35,260 And then you went. 1125 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:37,700 Oh, man. What was your decoy word? 1126 00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,060 My decoy word was fielding. 1127 00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:42,740 Well, I'm glad I didn't get that. 1128 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:45,900 I said my mom would be nonstop fielding requests. 1129 00:52:46,100 --> 00:52:47,480 But that worked so well. 1130 00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:48,420 I know. 1131 00:52:48,420 --> 00:52:50,940 cut out my long silence where I didn't have a guess 1132 00:52:50,940 --> 00:52:52,760 okay no we leave that in 1133 00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,720 that's how you feel this 1134 00:52:54,720 --> 00:52:56,520 wow well you did a really good job 1135 00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:57,800 thank you 1136 00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,080 it's too normal 1137 00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:02,980 like you were so good at putting it in it just feels like 1138 00:53:02,980 --> 00:53:06,780 I have 1139 00:53:06,780 --> 00:53:08,340 a few guesses for you 1140 00:53:08,340 --> 00:53:09,380 shoot 1141 00:53:09,380 --> 00:53:13,060 oh I'm like oh I have no words but it's on the other side 1142 00:53:13,060 --> 00:53:14,280 okay 1143 00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:15,680 where would you like to start 1144 00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:20,160 baloney 1145 00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:24,860 is that a no 1146 00:53:24,860 --> 00:53:26,820 that was just a fun one for me 1147 00:53:26,820 --> 00:53:28,200 that's nothing 1148 00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:29,220 baby grass 1149 00:53:29,220 --> 00:53:33,300 baby grass no I don't think it's baby grass 1150 00:53:33,300 --> 00:53:34,880 that would be a fun generated word 1151 00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:36,220 like what are you doing generator 1152 00:53:36,220 --> 00:53:38,880 heinous 1153 00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:39,820 no 1154 00:53:39,820 --> 00:53:42,400 preventative 1155 00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:43,320 no 1156 00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:45,400 I have one last guess 1157 00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:47,280 Taurus 1158 00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,440 good one but no 1159 00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:52,480 baloney's so funny because I said it and I'm like that sounds funny 1160 00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:54,580 yeah but no 1161 00:53:54,580 --> 00:53:56,120 it did sound funny 1162 00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:57,460 my word was decompose 1163 00:53:57,460 --> 00:54:00,060 oh 1164 00:54:00,060 --> 00:54:02,460 so the when you unstrap 1165 00:54:02,460 --> 00:54:04,100 the bag it can decompose 1166 00:54:04,100 --> 00:54:05,000 yeah yeah 1167 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,000 and my decoy was footprints 1168 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:10,140 oh our footprints 1169 00:54:10,140 --> 00:54:11,880 are clean 1170 00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:13,220 or our footprints are 1171 00:54:13,220 --> 00:54:13,540 yeah 1172 00:54:13,540 --> 00:54:17,260 Yeah. Nice. 1173 00:54:17,580 --> 00:54:19,180 I love that you said baloney though. 1174 00:54:20,780 --> 00:54:21,580 Oh well. 1175 00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:23,660 No points this week. Yeah. You were so 1176 00:54:23,660 --> 00:54:25,700 smooth with everything. So were you. Yeah thanks. 1177 00:54:25,820 --> 00:54:27,780 But nothing stood up to me at all. I just love talking 1178 00:54:27,780 --> 00:54:28,760 to you. God. 1179 00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:31,000 Love talking to you too Francis. 1180 00:54:31,580 --> 00:54:33,420 Consider the restrictor off our friendship. 1181 00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:35,560 It's now gushing. 1182 00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:39,520 Finally we've reached gush levels. 1183 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:41,740 Your friendship is so wet. 1184 00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:43,320 It's so wet. 1185 00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:43,880 All right. 1186 00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:50,040 Well, that does it for very fine friends. 1187 00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:51,620 Thanks, everybody. 1188 00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:52,120 Thank you. 1189 00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:52,780 Bye.