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welcome to friends like us bonus improv we are going to get a suggestion from our producer joe

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and then we're gonna riff and then we're gonna do a scene riffing a scene joe what is our

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suggestion your suggestion is spirituality spirituality oh spirituality

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you're a universe guy right totally yeah i'm in it right now what i'm touching it

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no get your hands off my universe too late you're molesting the universe right now whoa whoa

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we're an unestablished

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I'm done

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okay

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what's your biggest

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belief

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universe wise maybe something that's

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not like I know people like say like

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putting things out into the universe like

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that's a common universe thing

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what do you like what's something that

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you believe you can

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like

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like if I always drive in the right lane

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then I'll hit all the green lights

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or something like that.

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Do you have anything like that?

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No.

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I do have,

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so this is not mine,

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but I think it's from,

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what's that?

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That,

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is it Douglas Adams?

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Is that the author

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or a founding father?

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It's the author.

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Okay, that's it.

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Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

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Yeah.

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Something about how,

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like,

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if anyone ever,

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like,

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guessed the true nature

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of the universe,

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it would change immediately.

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Oh.

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And I think about that a lot.

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Like,

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what if you actually got it right?

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then like

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maybe it would change.

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So the universe is kind of like

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a defiant hipster like

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Well I'm not doing that now.

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Yeah exactly.

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Now there is a hell.

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Just because you.

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See you guessed it.

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Little asshole.

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I'm naming it after you.

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It's called asshole.

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Asshole.

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I thought you meant like Jeff.

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We're all gonna go to Jeff when we die.

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It's hot in here.

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See you in Jeff.

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yeah do you have anything um i don't i don't know no probably not

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but then i feel like maybe am i leaving cards on the table there like leaving money on the table

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by not like doing some more like superstitious universe stuff like what if it actually works

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and i'm just not trying it you gotta start trying stuff man i okay do you ever i like just

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any like a recommendation for anything or i say look for the glitches because for example i i

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recently found a glitch in the universe um and i know i right yeah and so it like katya anytime now you could beam me up I done So I was looking at did I tell you this

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About looking at like million dollar houses all over the country?

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Oh, you've told me about doing that.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, it's a daily thing.

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Anyway, I found one.

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It's like a super nice.

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It wasn't super nice.

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But it was actually kind of cheap.

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I'm sorry.

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All over the place.

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It was like one and a half million dollars.

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I was like looking at the pictures.

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I'm like, oh, this is not bad to be near the beach.

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And then I went to the kitchen and there was no fridge.

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And no place for, you're remembering now.

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I do remember now, yeah.

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And no place for a fridge.

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And an otherwise fully developed modern kitchen.

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Get the hell out of here.

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You think that's a glitch in the universe and not just someone lying about a listing?

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Wouldn't you just put a fridge in if you were going to sell your house on a beach?

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well like what if you did like that's like something like an ai generated image would

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that like would miss a fridge

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no oh okay it's a glitch all right i don't know why you're not more excited because i just proved

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that we're sims well characters and is that why you always want to pee on things

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because you're a little sim scared that's why i always jump up and down when i get excited

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that's why a little bubble goes over our heads

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you know when the first the first time you could have sex in the sims it was a

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like you would get you would click on the bed and then click make love or whatever it was

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and it was just like a cloud of like like movement and then you feel like like like cats yeah and

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then it would be over and that was it i used to do that all the time

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and now improv

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gerard can i talk to you for a minute monica what's up uh well i was just um i was just in

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the living room and i was just watching tv and then all of a sudden our walls started moving

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and we no longer have a couch.

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Let me just ask you,

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and I need you to be honest with me.

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Okay.

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Did you correctly guess the universe's deal again?

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No.

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Oh, I know you're lying, Monica.

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I'm sorry.

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It just seems so obvious.

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You gotta stop too.

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When we finally settle into a nice universe,

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one that we can get comfortable in

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and then you have to go and call it out

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you know that makes the universe angry

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well maybe don't put three outlets right next to each other

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and expect me not to know something's up

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just can't you just keep your mouth shut about it

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it was we had a really nice place it still nice No our walls are leaking blood now Hold on

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All right, I see your point.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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So we have to move again?

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Yeah, we gotta do something.

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Or can you maybe convince the universe that that was a mistake?

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All right, I'll talk to him.

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Thank you, I would appreciate it.

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yes hey it's me god gerard yeah i i know who you are hey um don't even try and tell me you

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know my deal again i was i i swear i'm done with that i'm done my my my love yeah monica

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he's upset about the total peace by the way okay i mean yeah yeah that's like good for

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you man yeah it's the alpha and the omega for me yeah i don't go i don't care what's going on ear

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to ear you know i get it i get it brother god i love monica um oh man you i'm blushing you may

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forget what i was even here sorry you were gonna tell me you're not gonna you're not here to mess

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up my deal oh yeah yeah can we just can things just go back to the way they were maybe just give

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us a new thing i promise i swear god i won't question it i'll just accept it i'll live in it

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i you keep saying this man and then you keep just like calling things out and please okay

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you know you know i can't resist that voice i know

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all right which version do you want me to put it back to dealer's choice

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all right well now i'm gonna have a little fun with it oh don't be don't be a goose

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uh okay all right all right i'm gonna go back to version 71439 okay i don't know that one

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off the top of my head door open or door closed uh closed please all right thanks god nice guy

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um

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Gerard

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hey babe

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hey um

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yeah thank you

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you didn't have to tell me how hot I am

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did I tell you God thinks it too

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oh that's sweet

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I mean you gotta feel pretty effing special

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well

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I mean he loves all his creatures right

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that's what he says

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anyway

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you had a talk

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with the universe didn't you

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you can't what are you unhappy with i thought i was fixing things

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we're in 71493 aren't we he put us back to 71493 oh is this 71493 yeah

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this is the one where we live in a commune you didn notice that i thought these were your friends No you You think these dirty barefoot

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people are my friends?

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Don't talk about your friends.

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There's a drum circle over there.

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Okay.

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I...

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I can't...

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Monica, if I start questioning things,

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we're gonna end up with

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turkey of faucets or something.

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Anything is better than this.

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I can't do this communal living.

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I need walls. I need structure. I need my own bathroom.

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I need to not eat vegan. Please, Gerard.

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Question the universe. Get us a new one.

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I'm just concerned if I question it one more time.

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God's gonna be pissed.

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I don't... What are you more afraid of? God being pissed or me being pissed?

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God?

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Yup.

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It's me, Gerard.

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God damn it, Gerard.

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I'm sorry.

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Why that one?

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Why the drummers?

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Why the cheese?

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You told me.

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You said dealer's choice.

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I went with it.

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I think that's a fun way to live.

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Let me explain this in a way you will understand.

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Go on.

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You're making hot Monica sad.

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Look, you're making hot God sad every time you guess my deal, man.

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It's just hard for me to.

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Oh, no.

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What?

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I just realized the only way for Monica to be happy

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is if I'm not with her.

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Because I'm always going to be.

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That's what I do.

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I question the universe.

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You saying Monica's going to be single?

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Whoa.

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Okay, you can give her a little time to grieve.

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You're not going to move right in.

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No, I'll give it a...

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I'll give it 12 hours.

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I'll give it a purge length of time.

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Thanks.

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just so I'm

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wait so you're not gonna guess my deal now

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you're just gonna leave Monica

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I want her to be happy

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if this is what it takes

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sweet

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I'm a good good man

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I probably shouldn't be telling you this

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because it's like now me

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but

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this was kind of my plan the whole time

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I wanted Monica

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I wanted Monica

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oh crap but I just told you my deal

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oh so now I gotta reset the universe again

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no I'm running toward the button

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No!

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Button press.

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Too late.

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Babe.

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Yeah?

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Gerard?

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Your face!

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No!

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No!

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Your beautiful face!

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What have you done?

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Damn you, God!

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And scene.

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We'll be right back.