welcome to friends like us bonus improv we are going to get a suggestion from our producer joe
and then we're gonna riff and then we're gonna do a scene riffing a scene joe what is our
suggestion your suggestion is spirituality spirituality oh spirituality
you're a universe guy right totally yeah i'm in it right now what i'm touching it
no get your hands off my universe too late you're molesting the universe right now whoa whoa
we're an unestablished
I'm done
okay
what's your biggest
belief
universe wise maybe something that's
not like I know people like say like
putting things out into the universe like
that's a common universe thing
what do you like what's something that
you believe you can
like
like if I always drive in the right lane
then I'll hit all the green lights
or something like that.
Do you have anything like that?
No.
I do have,
so this is not mine,
but I think it's from,
what's that?
That,
is it Douglas Adams?
Is that the author
or a founding father?
It's the author.
Okay, that's it.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Yeah.
Something about how,
like,
if anyone ever,
like,
guessed the true nature
of the universe,
it would change immediately.
Oh.
And I think about that a lot.
Like,
what if you actually got it right?
then like
maybe it would change.
So the universe is kind of like
a defiant hipster like
Well I'm not doing that now.
Yeah exactly.
Now there is a hell.
Just because you.
See you guessed it.
Little asshole.
I'm naming it after you.
It's called asshole.
Asshole.
I thought you meant like Jeff.
We're all gonna go to Jeff when we die.
It's hot in here.
See you in Jeff.
yeah do you have anything um i don't i don't know no probably not
but then i feel like maybe am i leaving cards on the table there like leaving money on the table
by not like doing some more like superstitious universe stuff like what if it actually works
and i'm just not trying it you gotta start trying stuff man i okay do you ever i like just
any like a recommendation for anything or i say look for the glitches because for example i i
recently found a glitch in the universe um and i know i right yeah and so it like katya anytime now you could beam me up I done So I was looking at did I tell you this
About looking at like million dollar houses all over the country?
Oh, you've told me about doing that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a daily thing.
Anyway, I found one.
It's like a super nice.
It wasn't super nice.
But it was actually kind of cheap.
I'm sorry.
All over the place.
It was like one and a half million dollars.
I was like looking at the pictures.
I'm like, oh, this is not bad to be near the beach.
And then I went to the kitchen and there was no fridge.
And no place for, you're remembering now.
I do remember now, yeah.
And no place for a fridge.
And an otherwise fully developed modern kitchen.
Get the hell out of here.
You think that's a glitch in the universe and not just someone lying about a listing?
Wouldn't you just put a fridge in if you were going to sell your house on a beach?
well like what if you did like that's like something like an ai generated image would
that like would miss a fridge
no oh okay it's a glitch all right i don't know why you're not more excited because i just proved
that we're sims well characters and is that why you always want to pee on things
because you're a little sim scared that's why i always jump up and down when i get excited
that's why a little bubble goes over our heads
you know when the first the first time you could have sex in the sims it was a
like you would get you would click on the bed and then click make love or whatever it was
and it was just like a cloud of like like movement and then you feel like like like cats yeah and
then it would be over and that was it i used to do that all the time
and now improv
gerard can i talk to you for a minute monica what's up uh well i was just um i was just in
the living room and i was just watching tv and then all of a sudden our walls started moving
and we no longer have a couch.
Let me just ask you,
and I need you to be honest with me.
Okay.
Did you correctly guess the universe's deal again?
No.
Oh, I know you're lying, Monica.
I'm sorry.
It just seems so obvious.
You gotta stop too.
When we finally settle into a nice universe,
one that we can get comfortable in
and then you have to go and call it out
you know that makes the universe angry
well maybe don't put three outlets right next to each other
and expect me not to know something's up
just can't you just keep your mouth shut about it
it was we had a really nice place it still nice No our walls are leaking blood now Hold on
All right, I see your point.
Thank you.
So we have to move again?
Yeah, we gotta do something.
Or can you maybe convince the universe that that was a mistake?
All right, I'll talk to him.
Thank you, I would appreciate it.
yes hey it's me god gerard yeah i i know who you are hey um don't even try and tell me you
know my deal again i was i i swear i'm done with that i'm done my my my love yeah monica
he's upset about the total peace by the way okay i mean yeah yeah that's like good for
you man yeah it's the alpha and the omega for me yeah i don't go i don't care what's going on ear
to ear you know i get it i get it brother god i love monica um oh man you i'm blushing you may
forget what i was even here sorry you were gonna tell me you're not gonna you're not here to mess
up my deal oh yeah yeah can we just can things just go back to the way they were maybe just give
us a new thing i promise i swear god i won't question it i'll just accept it i'll live in it
i you keep saying this man and then you keep just like calling things out and please okay
you know you know i can't resist that voice i know
all right which version do you want me to put it back to dealer's choice
all right well now i'm gonna have a little fun with it oh don't be don't be a goose
uh okay all right all right i'm gonna go back to version 71439 okay i don't know that one
off the top of my head door open or door closed uh closed please all right thanks god nice guy
um
Gerard
hey babe
hey um
yeah thank you
you didn't have to tell me how hot I am
did I tell you God thinks it too
oh that's sweet
I mean you gotta feel pretty effing special
well
I mean he loves all his creatures right
that's what he says
anyway
you had a talk
with the universe didn't you
you can't what are you unhappy with i thought i was fixing things
we're in 71493 aren't we he put us back to 71493 oh is this 71493 yeah
this is the one where we live in a commune you didn notice that i thought these were your friends No you You think these dirty barefoot
people are my friends?
Don't talk about your friends.
There's a drum circle over there.
Okay.
I...
I can't...
Monica, if I start questioning things,
we're gonna end up with
turkey of faucets or something.
Anything is better than this.
I can't do this communal living.
I need walls. I need structure. I need my own bathroom.
I need to not eat vegan. Please, Gerard.
Question the universe. Get us a new one.
I'm just concerned if I question it one more time.
God's gonna be pissed.
I don't... What are you more afraid of? God being pissed or me being pissed?
God?
Yup.
It's me, Gerard.
God damn it, Gerard.
I'm sorry.
Why that one?
Why the drummers?
Why the cheese?
You told me.
You said dealer's choice.
I went with it.
I think that's a fun way to live.
Let me explain this in a way you will understand.
Go on.
You're making hot Monica sad.
Look, you're making hot God sad every time you guess my deal, man.
It's just hard for me to.
Oh, no.
What?
I just realized the only way for Monica to be happy
is if I'm not with her.
Because I'm always going to be.
That's what I do.
I question the universe.
You saying Monica's going to be single?
Whoa.
Okay, you can give her a little time to grieve.
You're not going to move right in.
No, I'll give it a...
I'll give it 12 hours.
I'll give it a purge length of time.
Thanks.
just so I'm
wait so you're not gonna guess my deal now
you're just gonna leave Monica
I want her to be happy
if this is what it takes
sweet
I'm a good good man
I probably shouldn't be telling you this
because it's like now me
but
this was kind of my plan the whole time
I wanted Monica
oh crap but I just told you my deal
oh so now I gotta reset the universe again
no I'm running toward the button
No!
Button press.
Too late.
Babe.
Yeah?
Gerard?
Your face!
No!
Your beautiful face!
What have you done?
Damn you, God!
And scene.
We'll be right back.