1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:19,320
joe can we please get a suggestion for some improv

2
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:25,840
he's not like a cat oh no he sounds like a siren yeah anger cat

3
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:32,960
that's me it's me in the fridge why what does that mean excitement

4
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:43,600
you have your suggestion joe i sure do your word is fluke fluke

5
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,720
did you ever watch that like i told you to

6
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:53,100
not only did i not watch it i don't remember what you're talking about what movie fluke the

7
00:00:53,100 --> 00:01:00,120
90s movie no oh i don't even remember you telling me about this okay i told i told other another

8
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:06,700
friend around you and they watched it someone with a lot of time on their hands uh-huh

9
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:17,320
um uh i feel bad what's the movie about it said person gets reincarnated as a dog

10
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and they remember their previous life and they spend it trying to get back to their family

11
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and that's a that's a weird movie it's pretty good well it was and i haven't seen a long time

12
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could be one of those things that could be a fluke

13
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yeah um what's uh do you have a movie that like you were convinced was really good and

14
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then you re-watched it and you're like no this is terrible um no nothing that jumps to mind

15
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because I think the movies I liked,

16
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I watched so much that they're like...

17
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,800
It would be impossible to ruin that.

18
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Yeah.

19
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Like even if it's like bad,

20
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I'm like, ah, I still love it.

21
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Yeah.

22
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What movie do you think you watched

23
00:02:01,180 --> 00:02:02,820
more than any other movie when you were a kid?

24
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,260
Death Becomes Her.

25
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:06,320
Yeah.

26
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:07,880
I've seen it like a thousand times.

27
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I could do it.

28
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You could put it on mute

29
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and I could do the whole thing for you.

30
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:12,960
How old were you when you first watched Death Becomes Her?

31
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:13,980
Well, it came out in 92.

32
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I probably...

33
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So you weren't born yet.

34
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Right.

35
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:22,680
That was long before I was even a sperm.

36
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,600
I meant to say apple of eye.

37
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I don't know what happened.

38
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That's okay.

39
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:32,320
You know what?

40
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:32,800
I'm proud.

41
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:33,580
I was a sperm.

42
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:34,040
There.

43
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,840
But yes, I saw it a lot.

44
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,260
And you?

45
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:42,720
Were you a sperm?

46
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:45,380
Let's hope not.

47
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:46,340
I know.

48
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You were magic.

49
00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:47,780
Yeah.

50
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,520
I just appeared one day.

51
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,600
Yeah, your mom just went like this.

52
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:51,600
Yeah.

53
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:51,980
There you were.

54
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:52,560
There I am.

55
00:02:56,240 --> 00:03:09,290
There was a lot of like Disney movies that I probably saw a lot A lot of like sing Like when I had younger siblings they would have like the Disney singalong tapes

56
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Like where the ball moves.

57
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:10,950
Yep.

58
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Except it's like Mickey's head.

59
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Oh, right.

60
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Because it's Disney.

61
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Right.

62
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Yeah.

63
00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:18,070
So there's some of that that's like seared into my.

64
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Deep into my brain.

65
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Nothing is exciting as death becomes her.

66
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Yeah.

67
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Well, it was age inappropriate, but that was my whole life.

68
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age inappropriateness.

69
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I used to like,

70
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I would be like the one student in like middle school that would,

71
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not the one teacher I told you about who hated my guts,

72
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but like,

73
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I would like be her like conversation friend.

74
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It's like all the kids would go play and I'd be like in her room,

75
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,110
like folding pamphlets and like listening to her stories.

76
00:03:45,770 --> 00:03:46,430
Oh no.

77
00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:46,990
I know.

78
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That's,

79
00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:48,410
uh,

80
00:03:48,430 --> 00:03:49,210
that's not good.

81
00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,010
Felt good at the time,

82
00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:51,890
but now I understand.

83
00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:55,250
And now improv.

84
00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:03,410
Kevin, I love that you're...

85
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,770
I love these talks that we have.

86
00:04:06,110 --> 00:04:07,890
And you're always so helpful around the classroom.

87
00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:08,950
I really appreciate that.

88
00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:10,410
Thanks.

89
00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:15,970
I have kind of a big question to ask you.

90
00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:18,430
You can ask me anything, Mrs. Roberta.

91
00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:20,830
It's just Miss Roberta.

92
00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:22,610
Well, for now.

93
00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:23,650
What happened?

94
00:04:23,870 --> 00:04:24,550
Do you want to talk about it?

95
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Sit down.

96
00:04:26,490 --> 00:04:26,650
Here.

97
00:04:27,530 --> 00:04:28,810
Oh, thanks.

98
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,550
Well, let me grade that paper for you.

99
00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:31,010
Go ahead.

100
00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:42,970
Well, you know, you know how Gorman and I, we've been, we've been growing apart.

101
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:43,790
Yeah.

102
00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:44,950
Well, he just doesn't see you.

103
00:04:45,790 --> 00:04:46,410
Thank you.

104
00:04:46,490 --> 00:04:46,890
I know.

105
00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:50,350
I just, I don't know.

106
00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:51,250
We've been drifting.

107
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We don't talk like the way you and I talk, Kevin.

108
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I, I don't know.

109
00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:58,310
I just,

110
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I,

111
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I,

112
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you know,

113
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I told him,

114
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I told him about how you,

115
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you said that I was like a Capri sun and it's like really difficult to make

116
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your way into it.

117
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You know,

118
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like stabbing the straw on the side,

119
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but once you get in,

120
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it's so worth it.

121
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And you're,

122
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you're glad you put in the effort.

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Oh,

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I bet he didn't like that.

125
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He,

126
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he didn't get it.

127
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It's the thing.

128
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You know,

129
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he,

130
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you know what he said?

131
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What?

132
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I use scissors to open my capri sun.

133
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I mean, how can I be with someone that opens their capri sun with scissors?

134
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You can't.

135
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:41,670
I think you are, you're dodging.

136
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I mean, with a name like Gourmand, you'd think you'd have a little class.

137
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I know.

138
00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:47,510
Scissors?

139
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:48,130
I know.

140
00:05:48,210 --> 00:05:49,370
I felt, I know.

141
00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:50,210
Scissors, Gourmand?

142
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I know.

143
00:05:52,690 --> 00:05:53,930
You'd think he would know better.

144
00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:54,330
Yeah.

145
00:05:54,330 --> 00:05:55,330
What if he's...

146
00:05:55,330 --> 00:05:56,330
Never mind.

147
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No, say what you're gonna say.

148
00:05:58,330 --> 00:05:59,330
Well...

149
00:05:59,330 --> 00:06:00,330
Say it, Kevin.

150
00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:03,330
Remember when you lent me that documentary on serial killers in America?

151
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:14,420
Yeah That just seems like the sort of behavior that I sorry I shouldn have said anything No I glad you did You should change your lock I could come over We change your lock

152
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,500
How else can we serial killer proof my house?

153
00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:19,700
I mean, it's Gorman's house, too.

154
00:06:20,060 --> 00:06:21,560
He knows the ins and the outs of it.

155
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:22,680
Oh.

156
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,820
You need somewhere else to go.

157
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:26,400
Hey, I have an idea.

158
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:26,880
Yeah?

159
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:28,900
My house.

160
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:30,700
Yeah?

161
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:31,840
That's the idea.

162
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:32,560
Oh, that's the idea.

163
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:32,880
Yeah.

164
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:33,920
Sure.

165
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:40,860
yeah i could stay in your tree house for a little while no you're family to me well thank you i

166
00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:47,560
appreciate that yeah but i i know i i can't let gorman run me out of my own home no he's dangerous

167
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:52,480
i i have to face up to it he wants to hurt you i'm we're gonna do it we're gonna serial

168
00:06:52,480 --> 00:07:01,360
killer proof my house okay um i'll come over yeah i'll bring capri sun oh our two favorite snacks

169
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cut to the house

170
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I brought a gun

171
00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:09,660
thanks Kevin

172
00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:11,720
yeah took it from my dad

173
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he's gonna panic

174
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he'll understand

175
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once he understands

176
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once he understands

177
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it's fine

178
00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:20,500
do I have your permission

179
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to shoot Gorman

180
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oh well

181
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if

182
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if

183
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oh yes

184
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if of course

185
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yeah

186
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now I don't want you shooting anybody

187
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preemptively okay Kevin I wouldn't

188
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I'm a

189
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responsible child of a gun

190
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owner

191
00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:40,620
good alright good I just

192
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:42,440
want to I still your teacher after all

193
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,260
I gotta make sure thank you

194
00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:45,980
alright so

195
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,380
okay where's some other

196
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,920
what are some other like places like

197
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,520
okay I've already boarded up the doggy door I know

198
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:53,620
that that's

199
00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:55,980
where's the dog

200
00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:58,480
he's on a walk with Gourmand I guess

201
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,820
he's just never coming back now. I didn't think about that.

202
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,600
It's okay. He's

203
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,260
probably going to be killed by Gormand anyway.

204
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,120
Oh, no. That was in the documentary. You're right.

205
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,540
That is how the serial killers get their start.

206
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:09,520
Animals first.

207
00:08:11,220 --> 00:08:12,600
Don't worry. I'll shoot him.

208
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,540
Poor Tinkles.

209
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,160
I know. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself.

210
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,620
Okay. Alright. Thank you. After all this, we're going to go to the

211
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,540
spa. Oh, just make

212
00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:22,500
a day of it? Yeah. I would love that.

213
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,440
You deserve it. You know, I nominated you

214
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,360
for that Apple Award.

215
00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:27,1000
Oh, thank you.

216
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,280
I didn't get it, but I appreciate being nominated.

217
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:30,1000
Well, it's rigged. The whole thing's rigged.

218
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:31,520
I know.

219
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:31,800
Yeah.

220
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:33,180
Okay, yeah.

221
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,1000
Stupid Mrs. Diaz got it.

222
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,160
Yeah, she sucks.

223
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,080
Oh, no.

224
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:37,960
Is that okay?

225
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,820
Between you and me, I agree.

226
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:42,760
You're so relatable.

227
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:43,700
Oh, okay.

228
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:47,100
Well, you're the expert on serial killers.

229
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Absolutely, yeah.

230
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What else should I be?

231
00:08:48,1000 --> 00:08:52,080
I mean, okay, well, change the locks, obviously.

232
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:52,640
Yeah.

233
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:53,880
The doggy door I got.

234
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,740
Do I have to do anything with my bed?

235
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:59,820
Yeah, you have to turn it right side up like cone heads.

236
00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:01,940
I'm not seen.

237
00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:02,940
Oh.

238
00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:04,820
Do they do that in cone heads?

239
00:09:04,820 --> 00:09:06,240
Yeah, they lift it up straight.

240
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,240
They sleep standing up.

241
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,240
Oh.

242
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:20,589
Yeah Oh so then I ready to go at all times That and once he sees it if he gets angry you know Killer If he gets angry about a straight up bed that a sign of a serial killer

243
00:09:20,829 --> 00:09:22,609
Or asks any question about it at all.

244
00:09:23,009 --> 00:09:25,529
If he questions you, Miss Roberta?

245
00:09:25,829 --> 00:09:26,089
Yeah?

246
00:09:26,689 --> 00:09:27,249
He's dead.

247
00:09:27,369 --> 00:09:27,929
I'll kill him.

248
00:09:29,229 --> 00:09:30,209
Help me with this thing.

249
00:09:32,609 --> 00:09:34,649
You guys only have a queen.

250
00:09:35,209 --> 00:09:35,629
I know.

251
00:09:35,689 --> 00:09:36,089
It's terrible.

252
00:09:36,089 --> 00:09:37,349
He doesn't respect you.

253
00:09:37,349 --> 00:09:38,749
I know

254
00:09:38,749 --> 00:09:39,889
You're a king

255
00:09:39,889 --> 00:09:41,889
Thank you

256
00:09:41,889 --> 00:09:43,689
I want to be treated like a king

257
00:09:43,689 --> 00:09:45,489
Thank you Kevin

258
00:09:45,489 --> 00:09:46,089
I appreciate it

259
00:09:46,089 --> 00:09:47,389
This is being

260
00:09:47,389 --> 00:09:49,189
This is like so nice to have a friend

261
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,569
That I can get through this with

262
00:09:50,569 --> 00:09:50,889
Yeah

263
00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:53,609
And you also have to get all your canned food out

264
00:09:53,609 --> 00:09:54,169
Why?

265
00:09:54,269 --> 00:09:55,349
What does he do with the canned food?

266
00:09:55,669 --> 00:09:56,249
Cereal killers

267
00:09:56,249 --> 00:09:58,069
Love canned food

268
00:09:58,069 --> 00:09:59,809
They eat it

269
00:09:59,809 --> 00:10:02,909
And they only eat the ones that don't have a tab

270
00:10:02,909 --> 00:10:05,669
He told me he was just

271
00:10:05,669 --> 00:10:07,629
prepping for a bomb shelter.

272
00:10:07,849 --> 00:10:09,109
Oh, he's aching for a bullet.

273
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,009
I didn't... Oh my god.

274
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:13,109
I can't believe I didn't see the signs.

275
00:10:13,309 --> 00:10:15,509
Mr. Roberto, you were swoozled

276
00:10:15,509 --> 00:10:17,109
like

277
00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:19,489
so many before you. I bet if we looked up

278
00:10:19,489 --> 00:10:21,369
every state he's ever been to, someone's dead

279
00:10:21,369 --> 00:10:21,849
there.

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He's been to all

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00:10:25,629 --> 00:10:27,569
50 states. 50 murders. I'll

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00:10:27,569 --> 00:10:29,629
find him. I'll get on the computer. And Puerto Rico.

283
00:10:31,629 --> 00:10:33,389
And Guam. And Guam.

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00:10:34,389 --> 00:10:35,489
He's leaving a trail

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00:10:35,489 --> 00:10:37,829
of bodies behind. Oh, Miss Roberta, you gotta get out.

286
00:10:37,969 --> 00:10:39,569
Just, okay. Just blow

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00:10:39,569 --> 00:10:41,149
his brains out. I'm googling real quick.

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00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:43,929
GuamMurder.com

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00:10:43,929 --> 00:10:46,369
GuamMurder.com

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00:10:46,369 --> 00:10:46,829
GuamMurder.com

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00:10:46,829 --> 00:10:49,349
Did you find one? Oh my god.

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00:10:49,809 --> 00:10:50,489
There's like

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00:10:50,489 --> 00:10:53,609
37 on here.

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00:10:53,889 --> 00:10:55,489
37? Oh, Guamond.

295
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,769
Busy, busy, busy man.

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00:10:57,029 --> 00:10:59,369
Guamond, what are you doing? Hold on, I'm gonna

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00:10:59,369 --> 00:11:00,569
chamber around.

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00:11:01,749 --> 00:11:02,269
Casey, Watson.

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00:11:03,269 --> 00:11:04,549
I just wanna talk.

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00:11:04,549 --> 00:11:06,029
Oh my god.

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00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:07,649
Oh.

302
00:11:07,789 --> 00:11:08,049
Wait.

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00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:09,369
Oh my god.

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00:11:09,509 --> 00:11:09,689
What?

305
00:11:09,789 --> 00:11:11,849
I changed the locks, but I didn't lock the door.

306
00:11:11,989 --> 00:11:12,469
No, what do you mean?

307
00:11:12,469 --> 00:11:13,509
No, I have the front doors opening.

308
00:11:15,129 --> 00:11:16,609
Here I am, Gorman.

309
00:11:19,009 --> 00:11:20,249
Hold on, I'm going over there.

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00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,549
I'm looking down at him.

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You suck.

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00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:26,469
Kevin?

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00:11:27,369 --> 00:11:27,769
Yeah.

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00:11:28,309 --> 00:11:29,449
You did the right thing.

315
00:11:29,809 --> 00:11:30,489
What do I do?

316
00:11:30,749 --> 00:11:31,349
What do I do?

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00:11:31,609 --> 00:11:32,329
I'm panicking.

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00:11:32,469 --> 00:11:33,189
No, don't panic.

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00:11:33,189 --> 00:11:33,769
The weight of this.

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00:11:34,549 --> 00:11:34,909
No.

321
00:11:35,509 --> 00:11:37,069
You know what I'm doing right now?

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00:11:37,149 --> 00:11:37,309
What?

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00:11:37,589 --> 00:11:38,689
I'm buying a domain name.

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00:11:38,909 --> 00:11:39,349
What is it?

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00:11:40,329 --> 00:11:44,149
It's called KevinItWasAJustKill.

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00:11:44,969 --> 00:11:45,449
Dot com?

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00:11:45,529 --> 00:11:46,069
Dot com.

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00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:46,929
Forward slash.

329
00:11:47,369 --> 00:11:48,349
Well, dot com's taken.

330
00:11:48,869 --> 00:11:49,149
Oh.

331
00:11:49,369 --> 00:11:50,169
I got dot biz.

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00:11:50,849 --> 00:11:51,669
Dot biz.

333
00:11:52,029 --> 00:11:53,529
KevinItWasAJustKill.

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00:11:54,469 --> 00:11:55,029
Dot biz.

335
00:11:55,689 --> 00:11:56,709
I love you, Miss Roberta.

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00:11:57,469 --> 00:11:58,829
You're my best friend, Kevin.

337
00:12:00,689 --> 00:12:01,649
And scene.

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00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:18,889
Justiceی ده quien starsم