joe can we please get a suggestion for some improv
he's not like a cat oh no he sounds like a siren yeah anger cat
that's me it's me in the fridge why what does that mean excitement
you have your suggestion joe i sure do your word is fluke fluke
did you ever watch that like i told you to
not only did i not watch it i don't remember what you're talking about what movie fluke the
90s movie no oh i don't even remember you telling me about this okay i told i told other another
friend around you and they watched it someone with a lot of time on their hands uh-huh
um uh i feel bad what's the movie about it said person gets reincarnated as a dog
and they remember their previous life and they spend it trying to get back to their family
and that's a that's a weird movie it's pretty good well it was and i haven't seen a long time
could be one of those things that could be a fluke
yeah um what's uh do you have a movie that like you were convinced was really good and
then you re-watched it and you're like no this is terrible um no nothing that jumps to mind
because I think the movies I liked,
I watched so much that they're like...
It would be impossible to ruin that.
Yeah.
Like even if it's like bad,
I'm like, ah, I still love it.
Yeah.
What movie do you think you watched
more than any other movie when you were a kid?
Death Becomes Her.
Yeah.
I've seen it like a thousand times.
I could do it.
You could put it on mute
and I could do the whole thing for you.
How old were you when you first watched Death Becomes Her?
Well, it came out in 92.
I probably...
So you weren't born yet.
Right.
That was long before I was even a sperm.
I meant to say apple of eye.
I don't know what happened.
That's okay.
You know what?
I'm proud.
I was a sperm.
There.
But yes, I saw it a lot.
And you?
Were you a sperm?
Let's hope not.
I know.
You were magic.
Yeah.
I just appeared one day.
Yeah, your mom just went like this.
Yeah.
There you were.
There I am.
There was a lot of like Disney movies that I probably saw a lot A lot of like sing Like when I had younger siblings they would have like the Disney singalong tapes
Like where the ball moves.
Yep.
Except it's like Mickey's head.
Oh, right.
Because it's Disney.
Right.
Yeah.
So there's some of that that's like seared into my.
Deep into my brain.
Nothing is exciting as death becomes her.
Yeah.
Well, it was age inappropriate, but that was my whole life.
age inappropriateness.
I used to like,
I would be like the one student in like middle school that would,
not the one teacher I told you about who hated my guts,
but like,
I would like be her like conversation friend.
It's like all the kids would go play and I'd be like in her room,
like folding pamphlets and like listening to her stories.
Oh no.
I know.
That's,
uh,
that's not good.
Felt good at the time,
but now I understand.
And now improv.
Kevin, I love that you're...
I love these talks that we have.
And you're always so helpful around the classroom.
I really appreciate that.
Thanks.
I have kind of a big question to ask you.
You can ask me anything, Mrs. Roberta.
It's just Miss Roberta.
Well, for now.
What happened?
Do you want to talk about it?
Sit down.
Here.
Oh, thanks.
Well, let me grade that paper for you.
Go ahead.
Well, you know, you know how Gorman and I, we've been, we've been growing apart.
Yeah.
Well, he just doesn't see you.
Thank you.
I know.
I just, I don't know.
We've been drifting.
We don't talk like the way you and I talk, Kevin.
I, I don't know.
I just,
I,
you know,
I told him,
I told him about how you,
you said that I was like a Capri sun and it's like really difficult to make
your way into it.
You know,
like stabbing the straw on the side,
but once you get in,
it's so worth it.
And you're,
you're glad you put in the effort.
Oh,
I bet he didn't like that.
He,
he didn't get it.
It's the thing.
You know,
he,
you know what he said?
What?
I use scissors to open my capri sun.
I mean, how can I be with someone that opens their capri sun with scissors?
You can't.
I think you are, you're dodging.
I mean, with a name like Gourmand, you'd think you'd have a little class.
I know.
Scissors?
I know.
I felt, I know.
Scissors, Gourmand?
I know.
You'd think he would know better.
Yeah.
What if he's...
Never mind.
No, say what you're gonna say.
Well...
Say it, Kevin.
Remember when you lent me that documentary on serial killers in America?
Yeah That just seems like the sort of behavior that I sorry I shouldn have said anything No I glad you did You should change your lock I could come over We change your lock
How else can we serial killer proof my house?
I mean, it's Gorman's house, too.
He knows the ins and the outs of it.
Oh.
You need somewhere else to go.
Hey, I have an idea.
Yeah?
My house.
Yeah?
That's the idea.
Oh, that's the idea.
Yeah.
Sure.
yeah i could stay in your tree house for a little while no you're family to me well thank you i
appreciate that yeah but i i know i i can't let gorman run me out of my own home no he's dangerous
i i have to face up to it he wants to hurt you i'm we're gonna do it we're gonna serial
killer proof my house okay um i'll come over yeah i'll bring capri sun oh our two favorite snacks
cut to the house
I brought a gun
thanks Kevin
yeah took it from my dad
he's gonna panic
he'll understand
once he understands
it's fine
do I have your permission
to shoot Gorman
oh well
if
oh yes
if of course
yeah
now I don't want you shooting anybody
preemptively okay Kevin I wouldn't
I'm a
responsible child of a gun
owner
good alright good I just
want to I still your teacher after all
I gotta make sure thank you
alright so
okay where's some other
what are some other like places like
okay I've already boarded up the doggy door I know
that that's
where's the dog
he's on a walk with Gourmand I guess
he's just never coming back now. I didn't think about that.
It's okay. He's
probably going to be killed by Gormand anyway.
Oh, no. That was in the documentary. You're right.
That is how the serial killers get their start.
Animals first.
Don't worry. I'll shoot him.
Poor Tinkles.
I know. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself.
Okay. Alright. Thank you. After all this, we're going to go to the
spa. Oh, just make
a day of it? Yeah. I would love that.
You deserve it. You know, I nominated you
for that Apple Award.
Oh, thank you.
I didn't get it, but I appreciate being nominated.
Well, it's rigged. The whole thing's rigged.
I know.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Stupid Mrs. Diaz got it.
Yeah, she sucks.
Oh, no.
Is that okay?
Between you and me, I agree.
You're so relatable.
Oh, okay.
Well, you're the expert on serial killers.
Absolutely, yeah.
What else should I be?
I mean, okay, well, change the locks, obviously.
Yeah.
The doggy door I got.
Do I have to do anything with my bed?
Yeah, you have to turn it right side up like cone heads.
I'm not seen.
Oh.
Do they do that in cone heads?
Yeah, they lift it up straight.
They sleep standing up.
Oh.
Yeah Oh so then I ready to go at all times That and once he sees it if he gets angry you know Killer If he gets angry about a straight up bed that a sign of a serial killer
Or asks any question about it at all.
If he questions you, Miss Roberta?
Yeah?
He's dead.
I'll kill him.
Help me with this thing.
You guys only have a queen.
I know.
It's terrible.
He doesn't respect you.
I know
You're a king
Thank you
I want to be treated like a king
Thank you Kevin
I appreciate it
This is being
This is like so nice to have a friend
That I can get through this with
Yeah
And you also have to get all your canned food out
Why?
What does he do with the canned food?
Cereal killers
Love canned food
They eat it
And they only eat the ones that don't have a tab
He told me he was just
prepping for a bomb shelter.
Oh, he's aching for a bullet.
I didn't... Oh my god.
I can't believe I didn't see the signs.
Mr. Roberto, you were swoozled
like
so many before you. I bet if we looked up
every state he's ever been to, someone's dead
there.
He's been to all
50 states. 50 murders. I'll
find him. I'll get on the computer. And Puerto Rico.
And Guam. And Guam.
He's leaving a trail
of bodies behind. Oh, Miss Roberta, you gotta get out.
Just, okay. Just blow
his brains out. I'm googling real quick.
GuamMurder.com
Did you find one? Oh my god.
There's like
37 on here.
37? Oh, Guamond.
Busy, busy, busy man.
Guamond, what are you doing? Hold on, I'm gonna
chamber around.
Casey, Watson.
I just wanna talk.
Oh my god.
Oh.
Wait.
Oh my god.
What?
I changed the locks, but I didn't lock the door.
No, what do you mean?
No, I have the front doors opening.
Here I am, Gorman.
Hold on, I'm going over there.
I'm looking down at him.
You suck.
Kevin?
Yeah.
You did the right thing.
What do I do?
I'm panicking.
No, don't panic.
The weight of this.
No.
You know what I'm doing right now?
What?
I'm buying a domain name.
What is it?
It's called KevinItWasAJustKill.
Dot com?
Dot com.
Forward slash.
Well, dot com's taken.
Oh.
I got dot biz.
Dot biz.
KevinItWasAJustKill.
Dot biz.
I love you, Miss Roberta.
You're my best friend, Kevin.
And scene.
Justiceی ده quien starsم