welcome
keep going with the noise you're gonna make i didn't know we were recording oh we're recording
We're recording
Hi world
Hey world
Is this the main episode?
No
No here on Very Fine Friends
We're gonna do a little
Bonus
No
Improv
Bonus improv
Wow
Okay
The only thing we need I think
Maybe just like
Suggestion.
What?
Suggestion.
Oh, okay.
Your suggestion is invasive.
Ooh, invasive.
I like when people say that like, oh, it's going to be invasive surgery.
It's like, yeah, it's surgery.
All surgery is invasive, isn't it?
I agree with that.
Yeah.
Like, do you need to say that?
like i'm already anxious enough i know yes you're cutting me open i know i think anything that goes
into your body even if it's a needle is invasive yeah remember that problem i was having yeah they
had to put a needle in me oh my urgent care it hurt i wanted to like throw my legs i was on my
stomach i wanted to throw my legs like like i was having a tantrum because of the pain yeah but i
didn't i'm really proud of you thanks way to control tantrum legs thanks yeah you know what
else can be invasive a plant a plant yeah and animals like you know in Florida they have like
um a shit ton of iguanas they do yeah and they're invasive because people like just like let them go
and they breed there's like so they they just like let iguanas loose like like they get it as
like a pet and they like I don want it anymore yeah and then they like breed with other iguanas abandoned iguanas and now they full of iguanas They recently had a big cold snap and they all froze and like fell out of trees
So people were like collecting them out of the streets.
Did they die when they froze?
Or was it like suspended hibernation?
Suspended hibernation.
Some of them died, but not all of them.
That's so weird.
Florida, what are you doing?
Get your act together.
Yeah.
Get your iguanas out.
that's so weird so like enough people decided they wanted an iguana as a pet then enough people
of those people enough people didn't want to keep it anymore i don't know if that's the whole reason
i just let it go yeah and then those iguanas managed to find that there's so many of them
that like small iguanas were finding each other in the wild i mean but they're at iguanas are
sitting at iguana level so it's like if you and me were in the woods and i saw you i'd be like oh
there's another human i know that because my brain told me yeah but what i'm saying is like you've
got but they're small florida's big you got one so presumably somebody lets that it go and they
just kind of like put it on the ground and they're like there you go mr spock you're free now right
then
somebody else does the same thing
five miles away
those two iguanas meet
breed
create new iguanas
you are underestimating the power of
horniness
I do always
underestimate that power
I think power is probably the wrong phraseology
for that
power? no I don't think it's just right
yeah
okay
Yeah.
And now, improv.
Babe, it's me, Dwayne.
Hey, hey, Dwayne.
I know you.
You don't have to say your name every time.
I know your name.
I know.
Thanks.
I found ten more iguanas.
Honey can we keep them All right You know I a sucker for the iguanas Yes go ahead guys Wander around the house It yours now Hey
I just love them.
Look at them running around.
Scamps.
You're scamps.
All of you are scamps.
Scamps?
Yeah.
They're lovable scamps.
You're lovable with your tails.
You're scampy.
Oh.
Honey?
Yeah?
Is that?
Call me Dwayne.
sorry Dwayne yeah is that your your trench coat it's moving down the hallway but that's
seemingly of its own accord what is going it's it's what don't you understand it's the iguanas
what don't you get oh my goodness they're all stacked on top of each other I know look
it's the height of a toddler oh a very tall toddler it's it's your trench coat Dwayne oh
Oh, yeah. Wow. They grow so fast.
Oh, my goodness. Wow.
Look, now it's making coffee.
The iguanas just want to be like us.
They're our children. You know that, right?
Well, then I guess we have to do what we do with children.
Enroll them in school.
Yeah. Throw them in school.
Throw them in school.
What I was about to say.
Okay. Oh, God.
I mean, I just, I feel so nervous that they'll be bullied in school.
I think they'll be fine.
Really?
Even as reptiles?
Yeah.
And all the other kids are human?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Because if anything happens to these, our babies, I'll be, I'll be so depressed.
No, no.
Everything will be just fine.
Who are you talking to?
You, Dwayne.
Thank you.
Cut to school.
All right, honey.
Okay.
All right, babies.
Mama and daddy love you.
Mama and Dwayne.
We love you.
Dwayne, daddy loves you.
Dwayne's wife, mommy loves you too.
Thank you for trying.
You're doing really well.
Oh God, hold my hand.
Oh God, just watching him.
Oh boy.
There they go.
Oh, look.
Oh, so he's talking to, they're talking to somebody.
I love that we taught them English.
We're good parents, you and Dwayne.
Yeah.
Well I guess all my fears were based on nothing What going on over there What is it What happening What is it What happening Wait What is it What happening Dwayne Jr Our iguana What are you seeing There a pole What are you seeing
I'm seeing...
Wait. Little
stacked up iguanas that we're calling Dwayne Jr.
is... Don't minimize them.
It's pulling
the little girl's hair. Okay. Okay.
She probably did something. Little bitch.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right. What did you...
What did you do to Dwayne Jr., you little bitch?
yeah hey you little bitch yeah just forget your hair that's gone now yeah that's right
you scared me hair's for people that aren't little bitches yeah god you told her what a traumatic
thing it is to be a parent i know you're just wearing your heart on your sleeve you let them
you have to you have to let them walk away and you have to just trust you just trust you just
trust that they're gonna just take all the stuff that you taught them and go oh my god what oh my
Dwayne Jr.
What are you seeing?
No, I'm behind the pole.
Oh, he just flashed open his trench coat.
Well, why are you looking, you little perverts?
Yeah, you little pervert.
Hey, little pervert.
Stop looking.
You heard my wife?
Yeah.
Wife of Dwayne?
Yeah.
Listen to wife of Dwayne, you little pervert.
Wow.
God.
He's really fitting in, though.
Yeah.
What's wrong with kids today, though?
I don't know.
It's the parents.
It's always the parents.
I don't know.
Wait, hey. Oh, wait, honey.
What is it? Oh, no. I can't see.
There's a fat woman in front of me.
Oh, but
it's okay. I'll sidestep her and I'll look.
Oh.
Oh,
Dwayne Jr.
He's talking to
a teacher, it looks like.
What? Why?
Huh? Wait, Dwayne.
Wait, he just slapped the teacher.
Good!
What did that teacher do?
What did you do to our son?
That's it.