welcome to very fine friends bonus improv yeah yeah joe can we get a suggestion please
your suggestion is luckiest
I've been very lucky
great
one time a car almost ran me over
I know
maybe next time
I was walking across the street
in downtown
old town Scottsdale
and I was going to get a car
so I could pick someone up
and it was my turn to walk
and I was walking across the street and then a jeep came like barreling through the intersection
to make a left like while I was walking and it missed me by probably inches whoa yeah but here's
how existentially dead I am I just stood there and I know the audience won't say this but I was
just like held up my hands like yeah I probably would do that too what are you doing and then I
kept walking yeah but but later did it hit you that you're like whoa I could have died just then
no i don't think i'm no and actually this made me think i'm someone who would never get ptsd
like from like war stuff because i'm like i just accept whatever reality i'm in
is that a good thing or to our friends to the u.s military and we know you're listening yeah
no offense i'm not saying i'm stronger i'm just saying oh no i thought you meant i was like
they're gonna recruit francis now they should you're the ultimate weapon yeah i'm fine i'm
one of those people who can like,
if it's like little stuff,
like I might like lose my mind,
but it's like big life-changing stuff.
I'm like,
everything else doesn't exist.
And I'm like,
totally fine.
That's what,
yeah,
I was going to say,
that seems funny to me.
You say it's like you accept whatever you seem like you get angry about
little shit all the time,
the little shit,
but the big shits,
you roll with that.
Yeah.
I roll with the big shits.
you feel lucky you got a lucky story nothing in particular i don feel unlucky you not unlucky i happy so i guess that makes me lucky Wow You just said quote I happy
Unquote.
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
Thank you.
And now, improv.
All right.
So, cool.
You, uh, is your first day here?
Hmm.
at lucky r us yeah um thanks i'm telling you this is uh i'm just gonna teach you the basics
all right i don't think i need it but go ahead so uh first up first things first
hop in my car we're gonna go drive around and almost hit a bunch of pedestrians
uh oh is there more to that nope nope it's just a fun easy way to get people to feel lucky to be
alive and uh they don't know that we're doing it on purpose so they think whoa i'm real lucky
i i mean that sounds interesting but i'm aren't you ever concerned that you
what if you have an accident you actually hit them well then our services are not for them
they're unlucky i won't lie to you it's happened
seven times lucky number seven times okay um sorry i i don't mean to i really need this job
okay go on please yes so uh we're gonna start there that's pretty basic we'll start you off
there okay um then maybe if you're real lucky uh you can graduate to grand canyon duty what's that
that's where we put we hide little rocks and stuff in the ground near the edge and then we stand near
the edge waiting for someone to come by and trip and then we catch him and go whoa and then they
feel like oh oh my god i almost just fell off the grand canyon that's horrifying what if they
actually fall that's actually never happened thank goodness oh god thank thank goodness not
because of us those some bitches over at luck luck luck they worked for a while they were
working the same corner the grand canyon as us and i saw them drop a bunch of people
but not us we have a perfect record grand canyon wise uh okay this might be a dumb question i hope it okay to ask No hey no wrong questions Just ask them
That's what I'm here for.
Who's funding this operation?
The Lottery Commission.
That makes sense.
People feel like, oh.
Oh, and then they feel lucky and they go buy tickets.
They go buy tickets.
Oh, that's brilliant.
I gotta be honest.
When you first started talking,
I was thinking, like, this is crazy,
but hey you're you're the one that applied man what did you think i need a job yeah times are
tough i'm watering down my milk anyway um well this sounds great i think i can do this yeah
all right i don't know i i don't normally do this put me in coach with trainees but you seem like
you gotta you're gonna have a knack for this oh i'm hungry for milk let's do this all right i'm
I'm going to let you take us out on our first mission of the day.
Thank you, sir.
Cut to the first mission.
Okay.
Mirrors are good.
Seatbelts are on.
Let's go make people lucky.
You're doing great.
Okay.
All right.
Oh, here come some pedestrians.
All right.
I'm going to do a quick serve.
oh my god that was so close oh i can still fix this i can fix this ma'am you're so lucky you
could have been killed my legs i'm going we're going now buy a lottery ticket
um i felt like a b plus um robert i'm gonna be honest with you
that was a d minus no mr cowlick uh yeah yeah if you're gonna if you're gonna hit him kill him
don't mangle him well i thought we could salvage it because she's
she was still lucky it could have been worse
she's living without legs now
okay
just give me one more chance
you didn't know it that lady was an Olympic
runner
okay well now she can relax
she got the silver medal
at the Olympics and she's been feeling unlucky
ever since
so we were supposed to help make her feel a little bit luckier
you have a list oh yeah this is we got a list these aren random Nope nope Lottery Commission funds most of our work We get individual requests Is this government related
This feels very shady.
Don't...
You worry your pretty little head about this, Robert.
How much the government is involved.
Mr. Kellick, I'm begging you.
Take me on one last mission.
I can prove to you I can do this.
All right, but...
You know, as they say,
two strikes and you're out.
that's the old saying that's not very lucky yep well all right i'm gonna let you pick what the
next mission is okay i pick don't don't don't tell me son oh just show me okay luck luck works
best when it's spontaneous okay all right
maryanne lewis in apartment 9c coming okay hang on thank you just watering my pot of four-leaf
clovers i'm out here waiting oh oops some salt wait sorry i'll be there in a second i just have
to throw it over my shoulder no problem god bless you oh wait sorry hang on i i just gotta
go by all my my i'm sorry my horseshoes are all over the ground i gotta step around them
my lucky horseshoes okay oh hi yeah oh hi yes i'm marianne bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
Bang bang bang bang bang bang
Click
Oh no
Mariel Lewis
Get in my arms
I was supposed to miss you
This was the Pulp Fiction challenge
It was supposed to be
Bullets all around you and your shape
But damn I'm a good shot
It's all
Oh my god it's
Seven bullets stacked one on top of the other
you hit over and over in the same spot.
I gotta buy a lottery ticket.
My work here is done.
All right, see you.