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so the other day i was pulling up in front of the theater and like there always is there was

2
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:29,360
magically one spot on the street i don't know how i always get so lucky i know but anyway so

3
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:35,880
I pull up to like parallel park. So like I pull up next to a car and then I stop. And then suddenly

4
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:40,640
somebody comes from the sidewalk and like starts to like get into the back of my car.

5
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:46,680
And like, well, it was locked, thankfully. But I'm, and so I'm like disoriented. I'm like,

6
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I've got my reverse lights on. I don't know if there are people coming down the street,

7
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:53,780
like waiting for me or whatever. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like I'm not an Uber driver.

8
00:00:53,780 --> 00:01:01,680
I'm not an Uber driver. And then this person, um, this person comes like, is like annoyed that they

9
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:06,480
can't get in. It's locked. And so then they come to like the, the passenger side seat and they're

10
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:11,560
like looking in the window, like, like, what, like, what the heck? And then it turns out it's,

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so in my current level one class that I teach, there was only one person that dropped out.

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00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,740
Uh, the rest of them all stuck around. Occasionally there's like one or two. Um,

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00:01:21,740 --> 00:01:24,380
but this guy dropped out and it was him.

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00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:26,820
And he,

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he like,

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00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,460
he's like looking in an angrily at me.

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And then he notices it's me.

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00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:32,460
And then he goes,

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00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,760
how have you been?

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00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:38,360
I'm like,

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00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:39,120
great.

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00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,580
I'm not your Uber driver.

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00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:41,800
And then he like embarrassing,

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00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,040
like he's embarrassing.

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00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:43,960
He like walks away.

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It was really funny.

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00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,760
That's a pretty good story.

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00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:47,120
Actually.

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00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:48,180
Thank you.

30
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,720
That also seems like great advice for anyone who's committing a crime.

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00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:53,680
and then they get caught to just immediately pivot.

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00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:54,580
Hey!

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00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,340
What have you been up to?

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00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:59,060
Oh, were these your jewels?

35
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,180
Oh, sorry.

36
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:01,580
I thought they were mine.

37
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:06,560
I only ever steal from people that I've taken an entry-level improv class from.

38
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:06,900
Yeah.

39
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:08,700
I'm glad you weren't murdered.

40
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Me too.

41
00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:10,780
Yeah.

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00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,640
I mean, I knew exactly what happened.

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00:02:12,740 --> 00:02:14,260
It was like, come on, dude.

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00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:17,780
And then while it was also annoying,

45
00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:19,380
because while he was trying to get into my car,

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00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:23,080
this like couple just started standing in the spot,

47
00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:24,240
like like looking around,

48
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,040
like to see if they could jaywalk.

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00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:26,500
And so like,

50
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,020
I'm now I'm like,

51
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:28,240
I need to back in there.

52
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,080
I have my reverse lights on people pay attention.

53
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,320
Be honest for a split second.

54
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,580
Did you think I'm going to have to use my vehicle as a weapon?

55
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:36,660
Oh,

56
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:37,220
uh,

57
00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:37,800
for a split second,

58
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,920
I have thought I've got to get to use my vehicle as a weapon.

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00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:42,420
Finally.

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00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:43,540
I'm sorry.

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00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,560
That was taken away from you.

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00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:44,800
Yeah,

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00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:45,320
I know.

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00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:46,600
Yeah,

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00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:47,180
but good,

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00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:47,680
good on you.

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00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,300
You didn't put it in drive and find them.

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00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:49,780
Yeah.

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00:02:50,980 --> 00:02:53,680
And then you could have hit him and then gotten out of the car and walked up and said,

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00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:54,920
I'm going to find you.

71
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:56,100
Yeah.

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00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:57,960
I will find you.

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00:02:58,500 --> 00:02:58,780
Yeah.

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00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:05,880
Anyway, welcome to Very Fine Friends, a podcast where friends talk about stuff.

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00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:10,380
And occasionally vehicular manslaughter is one of those stuffs.

76
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,720
It's only manslaughter if they die.

77
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:13,560
That's true.

78
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:18,020
Is it vehicular mansmaiming if they don't?

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00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:19,420
I love the way that sounds.

80
00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:20,220
Man's maiming.

81
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:21,500
Yeah.

82
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:22,660
Let's call it that.

83
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:22,960
Okay.

84
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,520
I was thinking love tap, but.

85
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,640
Would you quit man's maiming to me?

86
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:27,260
Yeah.

87
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,820
No, love tap sounds nice.

88
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:32,060
You're right.

89
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:32,880
Like you want it.

90
00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:33,400
Yeah.

91
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:34,860
Yeah.

92
00:03:35,060 --> 00:03:35,700
Man's maiming.

93
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:36,460
Man's maiming.

94
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:37,900
That's probably already in the legal dictionary.

95
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,280
Well, you are a lawyer.

96
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:41,720
Let me check my Miriam's legal dictionary.

97
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:43,920
There it is.

98
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:44,640
Man's maiming.

99
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:49,680
Oh, well, I guess I can't believe I intuited that.

100
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:50,440
I can.

101
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:51,460
You've been hanging out with me.

102
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:56,920
You know, I heard that you become like the five closest people in your circle.

103
00:03:57,580 --> 00:03:57,840
Hmm.

104
00:03:58,720 --> 00:03:59,080
Uh-oh.

105
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,900
I need to expand my circle a little bit.

106
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,220
Yeah, I need to change it up.

107
00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:04,940
I know.

108
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,920
This is like your MySpace top five or whatever.

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00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:11,120
Listeners, just so you know, they're not talking about anyone in this room.

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No, no, no.

111
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,080
No, the two of you can stay.

112
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,500
There's two other people that I'm thinking I could rotate out.

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00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:19,580
Totally.

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But anyway, well, here we are.

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And here we stay.

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To live and laugh and love and play.

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And gay.

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You gay, you gay.

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God.

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Gay.

121
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:39,440
Did you say God?

122
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God.

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Gay.

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Oh dear gay god

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I know that's

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00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:47,460
what's his face

127
00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,180
John Roberts

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on YouTube

129
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he had this like running

130
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YouTube series just hilarious

131
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it's basically he voices Linda

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on Bob's Burgers

133
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and it's basically Linda

134
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is essentially this character that he's been doing

135
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,200
which I think is supposed to be like his mom

136
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,780
I love her

137
00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:08,860
yeah just

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very like Long Island.

139
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,420
Video credit. My son is gay.

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John Roberts, YouTube.

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00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:15,920
Look it up. It's hilarious.

142
00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:19,900
It's just him as his mom coming to terms with the fact that

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she's got a gay son.

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God.

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Gay.

146
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:26,500
Yeah.

147
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:27,540
I'll check it out. Thanks.

148
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:28,420
Yeah, it's funny.

149
00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:31,360
You can probably cut the feed now because I got what I needed.

150
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,200
It's really funny when you've

151
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,000
basically seen it in real life too

152
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,320
with your own mother.

153
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:37,520
Are you okay? Are you doing okay?

154
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:39,980
Talk after the pod.

155
00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:41,120
Oh, God.

156
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:42,800
Anyways.

157
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,080
Back to our straight audience.

158
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:46,660
Yeah.

159
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,060
Who loves heterosex?

160
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,220
I know I do.

161
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:54,980
It's all getting our trucks.

162
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,180
I don't know why trucks.

163
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:57,560
Whoa.

164
00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:00,080
Bird or something.

165
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,080
I think it was like a...

166
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,660
It was smaller than a bird.

167
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:05,620
It was like a grasshopper.

168
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,760
Like a cicada.

169
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:07,680
Ah, okay.

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00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:11,900
It just bumped into the window and for some reason I made me go.

171
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:12,440
Love tapped into the window.

172
00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:13,720
Yeah.

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00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:14,920
The birds named.

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00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:15,440
Yeah.

175
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:16,600
Quick interruption.

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00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:26,640
Every week on the podcast, we do something where our producer Joe gives Francis and I each our own secret word.

177
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Throughout the course of the podcast, we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing.

178
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:39,300
If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point.

179
00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:44,260
And right before we die, we add up all the points.

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00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:49,800
And then we get a prize, whoever has the most points, for guessing the most secret words.

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00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:53,560
Here's Joe with today's secret words.

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00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,320
Jenna's secret word is newsstands.

183
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,920
Jenna's decoy word is chronology.

184
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,140
Francis' secret word is seaboard.

185
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:06,820
Francis' decoy word is extradited

186
00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:08,620
Back to the pod

187
00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:10,800
Alright, well

188
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:15,480
We didn't have to invent a legal term

189
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,660
Because it already existed

190
00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:20,800
But we do have to get to

191
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,780
The invention of the week

192
00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:26,940
Inventions

193
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:32,280
I see what you did there

194
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,060
Uh-huh, uh-huh

195
00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:34,760
That was so good.

196
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:38,280
Francis, what do you got for me?

197
00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:38,900
What up?

198
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:39,820
Okay.

199
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,420
You, Jenna and Joe.

200
00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:43,860
Yeah.

201
00:07:44,740 --> 00:07:45,400
This is it.

202
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:47,800
Finally.

203
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,780
I was talking to someone this past week who is a listener.

204
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:51,440
Hmm.

205
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,020
And they talked about how they went on a date and they got a kiss.

206
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,320
Oh, nice.

207
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:58,040
And I was like, oh, my God.

208
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:00,820
It made me think of like how nice a first kiss can be.

209
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:01,400
Yeah.

210
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:06,780
and then i thought oh but sometimes you don't have kiss chemistry with someone and you really

211
00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:13,700
like them but you don't have kiss chemistry what if you know how there's no way to make sure you

212
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:18,680
have kiss chemistry before a first date i do know that you know how that's horrifying because what

213
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:25,340
if you don't i do know that you know how we all want our next kiss to be our last first kiss

214
00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:27,920
I don't know that

215
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,380
but yes

216
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:29,900
okay

217
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:33,460
we want our next kiss to be our last first kiss

218
00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:33,760
yeah

219
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,240
because you want to fall in love and stay with someone forever

220
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,340
you had me at last and then you lost me at first

221
00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:42,220
I just wanted my next kiss to be my last kiss

222
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:43,640
well we can make that happen

223
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:49,300
what follows is

224
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:50,700
an incredible

225
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:52,720
singular

226
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,160
proprietary wonder

227
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,060
A tour de force for love.

228
00:08:58,020 --> 00:08:58,400
You ready?

229
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:00,640
Yeah.

230
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,180
Here we go.

231
00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:08,420
My invention, which you're going to love, is a product.

232
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,600
I love it already.

233
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:14,500
Keep going.

234
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:20,380
And the product is a kiss.

235
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,400
Let me explain.

236
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:22,920
Okay.

237
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:28,880
You buy it in the store or you order it online, depending on what you want, or you get it as a gift.

238
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,940
Those are basically the three ways where you find it.

239
00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:31,380
Okay.

240
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,320
You're just describing how people get things.

241
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,600
That is how products work.

242
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:36,940
You're just letting them know how you can get it.

243
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:37,280
Okay.

244
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,380
If you find it, you use it if it's unopened.

245
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:42,780
Anyway, here's what it is.

246
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,140
If it's damaged, you return it and you get a new one.

247
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:51,060
And if you're unsatisfied with it, you follow our return policy.

248
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:57,960
If you want to get one for a friend, you can get them and they can get a gift receipt.

249
00:09:58,260 --> 00:09:58,440
Yeah.

250
00:09:58,600 --> 00:09:58,820
Okay.

251
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,660
Here's what it does.

252
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:02,200
Okay.

253
00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:03,920
You get it in the mail.

254
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:04,880
I'm sorry.

255
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,420
What does it look like?

256
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,100
Okay, here we go.

257
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:15,560
Here we go.

258
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,040
I need to tell you what it does.

259
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:17,380
Okay.

260
00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:18,680
The whole reason you want it.

261
00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:19,200
Okay.

262
00:10:19,380 --> 00:10:20,960
You have a date coming up on Friday night.

263
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:23,520
with Sean.

264
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,060
And you really want it to work out.

265
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:28,260
So here's what you do. It's Monday.

266
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,660
You have the product.

267
00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:33,320
You kiss

268
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,360
the product.

269
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:37,140
Okay.

270
00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:39,120
It is a robotic

271
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,220
mouth that

272
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:43,280
is a blank slate. You know those

273
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,200
things where you put your face in them and then it holds

274
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,360
your face? It records

275
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,120
a 30 second

276
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,880
kiss. Okay?

277
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:51,840
Okay.

278
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,460
Yes, Joe?

279
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:55,400
See, you had an idea?

280
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:55,740
No, okay.

281
00:10:55,980 --> 00:11:01,540
So it records your kiss, and then you pop it in the mail to your date.

282
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:09,120
And then your date gets it, and then they see how you kiss.

283
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,800
And they do one, too.

284
00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:13,040
So you kind of get, like, a little taste.

285
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:13,880
Okay.

286
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:13,960
Okay.

287
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:22,580
I can see one problem with this.

288
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:27,140
part of kiss chemistry is the other person kissing back.

289
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:27,920
Yeah.

290
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,920
If you just kiss a blank slate,

291
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,800
it's like you could seem like a bad kisser

292
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,940
because you don't have that other person to play off of.

293
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:38,480
Yeah.

294
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,140
Joe agrees.

295
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:45,480
Oh, that makes me think of the pivot I'm doing, which is...

296
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:46,720
Oh, God, I'm glad we got to the pivot.

297
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:50,080
Well, no, I was just thinking it records both sides.

298
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:58,080
stop just stop i know you have heavy criticisms coming my way let me just tell you

299
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,620
okay i just figured it out and thank you for your feedback it's very valuable

300
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:13,340
it is a remote kissing device and you've each got one and you kiss yours and they kiss theirs

301
00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:18,600
and it does to each other what's happening but francis i hate to be the one to tell you this

302
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,140
but you've already invented this before.

303
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:21,780
Is this the sex robot?

304
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:22,460
Yeah.

305
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:24,080
No, this is just a mouth.

306
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,780
Okay, so you're saying this is a smaller version of it,

307
00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:29,740
but let's look at this from the...

308
00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:30,740
It's a training tool.

309
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:36,100
Let's look at this from the angle that Francis is trying to sell it,

310
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:39,120
which is first kiss chemistry.

311
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:47,620
So if the person is on the other end,

312
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:51,220
you like doing it and it's replicating what they're doing and you're doing

313
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:54,720
why would you do that and not just kiss the person

314
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,980
I want to go back to the mailing kit

315
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:04,280
okay what well it's practice and then real life is

316
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:08,320
it's different because you're it's a it's and then in person it's

317
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,400
I know why would you want the robot also then you still have to

318
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:16,440
have the awkward conversation of like oh well like because if you're not

319
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:21,360
into it then you still have to be like oh actually i'm not into it anymore why not just invent the

320
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:26,500
new custom that you kiss somebody before the date if your whole thing is that you want to avoid

321
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:32,080
going on a date with someone that you're not going to have chemistry with yeah just like a lemon law

322
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:37,180
situation yeah where you just kiss them and then if you don't have chemistry it's like well sorry

323
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:43,080
no date but then again also part of the chemistry comes from how the date goes yeah

324
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:47,660
so

325
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:54,020
um i see your point okay i think people love

326
00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:56,840
mailing things

327
00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:07,020
so you just wanted to invent something that has to be put into the mail people like receiving

328
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:07,960
things in the mail too.

329
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:09,860
Yes, that's true.

330
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,260
So if you received a set of lips

331
00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:13,820
in the mail,

332
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,000
just be excited. There's probably going to be a cultural

333
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,260
thing. You know, like teenagers will do weird trends.

334
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:20,900
There's probably going to be something where they like

335
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,100
try to find these in the mail and ruin it

336
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,580
by like kissing it first.

337
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,160
Well, no, I feel like there would be

338
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,020
like a market of people who are

339
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:33,120
really good kissers that would like offer to

340
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,120
like for a fee.

341
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:42,540
they'll do it for you and then send it like a real Cyrano de Bergerac situation yes exactly

342
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:52,000
yeah well maybe what's needed is kissing lessons yeah that could be um

343
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:59,240
I I feel like granted it's been a long time

344
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:10,580
since my last first kiss since your last kiss um but i feel like part of the excitement of it is

345
00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:18,880
i don't know what's gonna happen i don't know if it's gonna be electric or

346
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:24,900
blah or what yeah i agree with that but that's not a very long-lasting feeling

347
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:26,980
but it's a fun feeling

348
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:29,020
like the lead up I think is

349
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:31,560
to a first kiss is

350
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,180
intoxicating

351
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:35,320
what if we use this as a way to match people

352
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,120
hey you know who you'd really like to kiss

353
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,760
cause then you can go into a store

354
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,460
and be like these are local singles in your area

355
00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:43,020
kiss all these

356
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:46,880
so it's just a wall of mouths

357
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:47,220
yeah

358
00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:50,980
do they have like a jar of coffee beans

359
00:15:50,980 --> 00:15:52,840
for like you can reset your palate

360
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:53,700
between each one.

361
00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:56,040
Someone's just brushing the mouth of the...

362
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,660
Hold on, I'm putting a glycerin on it.

363
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,140
That could be fun.

364
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:01,740
Yeah.

365
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:04,260
Well, then it's like a real...

366
00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:05,940
That's like a real blind date.

367
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,460
You know you have chemistry with this person physically.

368
00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:10,860
You don't know anything about them,

369
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,760
and so you just pick the person who you liked kissing the most.

370
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,120
Yeah.

371
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:15,500
Ooh, that's interesting.

372
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:18,560
Yeah, that's interesting.

373
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,080
Hey, I recognize you.

374
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,620
Didn't I kiss your mouth?

375
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,360
On the wall, the shop downtown.

376
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,820
Would the mouth be shaped like the person's mouth?

377
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,280
I think that makes the most sense.

378
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:30,860
Yeah.

379
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,240
Well, then that might throw people off.

380
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:36,920
What if you're like, I don't like the way those lips look or something.

381
00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:40,960
You go in.

382
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:41,880
Get a load of those lips.

383
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,660
Well, the room is dim.

384
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:46,200
Okay.

385
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:48,020
They're behind curtains.

386
00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:50,280
They blindfold you.

387
00:16:50,700 --> 00:17:02,450
And then you start kissing a wall full of mouths It very very dim While a man plays the organ in the background I liked number seven and number 25

388
00:17:02,810 --> 00:17:03,750
Please step out.

389
00:17:06,270 --> 00:17:07,390
Yeah, that could be fun.

390
00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:13,050
I mean, this is a fun idea.

391
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:16,850
And just, again, I'd like to see people doing this.

392
00:17:17,650 --> 00:17:20,770
I'd like to go to that store and see what that looks like.

393
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:27,270
Then would you consider that, let's say you're in a relationship and you go to one of these stores and you try out the kiss mouths?

394
00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:28,390
That's not cheating.

395
00:17:28,710 --> 00:17:29,790
That's what I was going to ask.

396
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:30,310
Is that cheating?

397
00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:33,230
No, it's not cheating.

398
00:17:33,870 --> 00:17:34,790
It's not getting a massage.

399
00:17:34,890 --> 00:17:35,290
Is that cheating?

400
00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:36,770
Oh, my God.

401
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:43,770
What if there's like a pina colada song situation where they like two people that are unhappy with each other both put their mouths on the wall?

402
00:17:44,090 --> 00:17:45,890
And it's like you recognize the...

403
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:46,930
No, they don't recognize.

404
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:49,610
And then they're like, they're looking to kiss some new lips, you know?

405
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,410
and then they find someone they really like

406
00:17:51,410 --> 00:17:54,250
and they're like oh I'm going to meet up with this person and then it's each other

407
00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:56,570
you just gave me a brilliant idea

408
00:17:56,570 --> 00:17:59,510
you know how there's

409
00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:01,070
I'm going to say eclipse rooms what am I thinking

410
00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:03,010
oh you said what

411
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,350
escape rooms

412
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,830
and like puzzle nights

413
00:18:06,830 --> 00:18:09,570
what if you and your significant other

414
00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:11,750
go do your kiss

415
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,810
and then they have to see if they can

416
00:18:13,810 --> 00:18:14,370
find

417
00:18:14,370 --> 00:18:16,690
the matching

418
00:18:16,690 --> 00:18:17,310
yeah

419
00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:24,410
so it's like you can't escape until you find your partner's kiss

420
00:18:24,410 --> 00:18:33,450
okay that'd be a fun game and a bunch of couples could play at the same time and then like

421
00:18:33,450 --> 00:18:38,410
winning couples the one who does it the fastest but okay if all these that's always the winning

422
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:43,450
couple what if you're you're like yeah you're like you got your like couple friends with you

423
00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:45,770
And you're like, oh, let's all go do this thing.

424
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:49,610
And then like, so it's like, it's got everybody else, like all of your friends.

425
00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:51,290
So it's like you're kissing all of your friends.

426
00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:51,730
Yeah.

427
00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:54,610
What if you kiss one of them and you're like, holy shit, that was amazing.

428
00:18:54,870 --> 00:18:55,110
Yeah.

429
00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:56,110
I see this.

430
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:57,370
You'll never know who it was.

431
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,090
It's anonymous.

432
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:00,110
Anonymous.

433
00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:00,550
Anonymous.

434
00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:03,650
Well, not if you're doing it escape room style.

435
00:19:04,470 --> 00:19:05,570
You only know when you're right.

436
00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:10,750
Like when you kiss someone, the person doesn't yell out, that was Craig.

437
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:13,070
No, I understand.

438
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:17,730
But wouldn't all the kisses have to be the people that are doing it?

439
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:18,850
And others.

440
00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:19,570
Oh, okay.

441
00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:20,330
It's a big wall of kisses.

442
00:19:20,350 --> 00:19:20,590
Okay.

443
00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:20,990
Yeah.

444
00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:21,550
All right.

445
00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:24,870
So there's enough sprinkled in there that you would have no idea if it was one of your friends.

446
00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:25,290
They saved them.

447
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:25,610
Yeah.

448
00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:28,250
When you sign in, it's like, we're keeping this.

449
00:19:28,590 --> 00:19:29,670
We're keeping this kiss.

450
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,190
We're using this for other couples.

451
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:32,050
Keeping your kiss.

452
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:32,590
Yeah.

453
00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:35,450
You signed a waiver.

454
00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:37,590
Your kiss belongs to us.

455
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,870
Every kiss belongs to us.

456
00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:42,070
Hope you won't miss your kiss.

457
00:19:43,070 --> 00:19:48,450
Uh, this is back to our straight audience.

458
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:53,450
Uh, well, okay.

459
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:54,850
What do you want to name this bad boy?

460
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:55,590
Okay.

461
00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:56,750
Here's my idea.

462
00:20:00,170 --> 00:20:01,190
France now.

463
00:20:03,130 --> 00:20:04,070
France now.

464
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:04,430
Yeah.

465
00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:05,310
Like French kissing.

466
00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:05,850
Yeah.

467
00:20:06,590 --> 00:20:07,270
Oh yeah.

468
00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,610
Is there tongue involved or is this just, yeah.

469
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:10,350
Okay.

470
00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:11,550
I mean, it depends on the person.

471
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:12,490
Yeah, that's true.

472
00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,430
France now.

473
00:20:15,430 --> 00:20:16,090
France now.

474
00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:17,030
France now.

475
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:18,790
France.

476
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:21,170
Now.

477
00:20:21,890 --> 00:20:23,250
France is.

478
00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:24,790
France kiss.

479
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:27,590
I like that better.

480
00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:30,710
Even though we're getting farther from

481
00:20:30,710 --> 00:20:32,790
why I said France now.

482
00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:34,870
France kiss is cute.

483
00:20:35,870 --> 00:20:37,210
It's an homage to the inventor.

484
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:37,930
Yeah.

485
00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:41,510
I love that.

486
00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:43,710
Write it down.

487
00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:44,510
Okay.

488
00:20:44,790 --> 00:20:45,730
Is that your new nickname?

489
00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:46,330
France Kiss?

490
00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:47,290
Yeah.

491
00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:49,690
And everyone needs to know I'm an excellent kisser.

492
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:52,450
I'm sure you are.

493
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:53,050
Thanks.

494
00:20:53,150 --> 00:20:53,670
It means a lot.

495
00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:55,990
As you know, it's something I enjoy.

496
00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:57,270
Yes.

497
00:20:57,930 --> 00:20:59,710
I do know that you do it.

498
00:21:03,550 --> 00:21:03,990
Cool.

499
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:05,710
Okay, Joe, do you have any alternate?

500
00:21:05,870 --> 00:21:06,770
You're the naming guru.

501
00:21:06,770 --> 00:21:16,950
uh i thought of i had one other one i just left me but the main one i thought of was hit or kiss

502
00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:24,410
hit or kiss like hit or miss oh i like that hit or miss but also like kind of like smash or pass

503
00:21:24,410 --> 00:21:30,170
too it's like it's like a do do i want to go out with this person again or not wow

504
00:21:30,170 --> 00:21:33,790
it also sounds like hit her

505
00:21:33,790 --> 00:21:35,310
yeah

506
00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:37,810
hit her kiss hit her right in the kisser

507
00:21:37,810 --> 00:21:39,690
yeah let's go with that one

508
00:21:39,690 --> 00:21:42,110
give her a love tap right in the kisser

509
00:21:42,110 --> 00:21:43,570
woman's manor

510
00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:45,610
it's a new addition to the

511
00:21:45,610 --> 00:21:46,030
library

512
00:21:46,030 --> 00:21:49,910
oh mystery mouth

513
00:21:49,910 --> 00:21:51,170
that was the other one I thought of

514
00:21:51,170 --> 00:21:52,890
mystery mouth

515
00:21:52,890 --> 00:21:53,730
mystery mouth

516
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:54,530
hmm

517
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:59,630
well

518
00:21:59,630 --> 00:22:05,330
I think I would definitely like to see a store that has all of these kisses

519
00:22:05,330 --> 00:22:08,530
like on the wall and then I,

520
00:22:08,750 --> 00:22:10,550
and people just go in and they're making out with,

521
00:22:10,550 --> 00:22:11,910
with the wall.

522
00:22:11,990 --> 00:22:14,810
Or like when you start going to restaurants and like,

523
00:22:15,330 --> 00:22:18,550
instead of like having autographed pictures of famous people that have been to

524
00:22:18,550 --> 00:22:19,070
that restaurant,

525
00:22:19,230 --> 00:22:23,290
it's autographed mouths from that famous person on the restaurant wall.

526
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:24,790
Do you guys like this?

527
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,130
It's a little bit out there.

528
00:22:27,330 --> 00:22:28,110
Soup smoocho.

529
00:22:29,630 --> 00:22:31,210
Soup smooch-o?

530
00:22:31,510 --> 00:22:32,030
Yeah.

531
00:22:32,990 --> 00:22:34,810
It sounds like a soup restaurant.

532
00:22:35,410 --> 00:22:36,950
Soup smooch-o, like...

533
00:22:36,950 --> 00:22:38,630
Oh, like soups...

534
00:22:38,630 --> 00:22:39,390
Smooch.

535
00:22:39,510 --> 00:22:39,990
Smooch.

536
00:22:40,090 --> 00:22:41,330
Yeah, like super smooch.

537
00:22:44,570 --> 00:22:45,790
That's a super smooch.

538
00:22:47,010 --> 00:22:47,910
Why not?

539
00:22:49,310 --> 00:22:51,290
Soup smooch-o just had a little ring to it.

540
00:22:55,910 --> 00:22:57,150
Super smooch.

541
00:22:57,150 --> 00:22:57,950
well

542
00:22:57,950 --> 00:23:00,890
I look forward to this escape room

543
00:23:00,890 --> 00:23:02,130
I look forward to

544
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,990
um

545
00:23:03,990 --> 00:23:04,970
celebrity kiss

546
00:23:04,970 --> 00:23:07,890
people would steal those

547
00:23:07,890 --> 00:23:10,810
what was it super what

548
00:23:10,810 --> 00:23:12,010
smooch

549
00:23:12,010 --> 00:23:13,410
super smooch

550
00:23:13,410 --> 00:23:18,670
you and moi

551
00:23:18,670 --> 00:23:22,970
because moi is another word for kiss isn't it

552
00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:24,590
isn't it moi me

553
00:23:24,590 --> 00:23:26,230
what's moi me

554
00:23:26,230 --> 00:23:34,630
well yeah that's why it's you and moi so maybe instead of it's moi it's moi it's moi

555
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:41,130
and say it's moi write it down

556
00:23:41,130 --> 00:23:49,430
oh there it is it's definitely on the paper and out of my brain

557
00:23:51,370 --> 00:23:56,210
okay i have wrote it down all right thanks that was fun and i know that we liked it in the end

558
00:23:56,210 --> 00:23:58,530
yeah uh well

559
00:23:58,530 --> 00:24:01,150
I'm sure by the time this episode

560
00:24:01,150 --> 00:24:03,170
comes out there will be a franchise

561
00:24:03,170 --> 00:24:03,810
of these

562
00:24:03,810 --> 00:24:07,230
mystery mouth places

563
00:24:07,230 --> 00:24:08,010
all around

564
00:24:08,010 --> 00:24:10,930
so go you know listeners

565
00:24:10,930 --> 00:24:12,690
get on out there

566
00:24:12,690 --> 00:24:14,910
find your match it'll be so

567
00:24:14,910 --> 00:24:17,130
popular that franchises

568
00:24:17,130 --> 00:24:18,570
as a word will be renamed

569
00:24:18,570 --> 00:24:19,690
Fran kisses

570
00:24:19,690 --> 00:24:22,490
yeah we should probably

571
00:24:22,490 --> 00:24:24,890
buy that now so that we could

572
00:24:24,890 --> 00:24:28,350
let him get away with it anyway because we're nice

573
00:24:28,350 --> 00:24:31,930
I own this but go ahead

574
00:24:31,930 --> 00:24:32,430
alright

575
00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:36,010
well yes by the time

576
00:24:36,010 --> 00:24:38,070
you listen to this

577
00:24:38,070 --> 00:24:40,210
that will be already a registered trademark

578
00:24:40,210 --> 00:24:42,030
by us so

579
00:24:42,030 --> 00:24:43,350
don't use it without our permission

580
00:24:43,350 --> 00:24:45,950
but we're pretty nice about it so

581
00:24:45,950 --> 00:24:46,590
yeah

582
00:24:46,590 --> 00:24:50,190
alright well that wraps up the invention

583
00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:50,790
of the week

584
00:24:50,790 --> 00:24:54,430
speaking of love

585
00:24:54,430 --> 00:25:02,310
i think i brings this to our next segment oh prison pen pals

586
00:25:02,310 --> 00:25:08,710
i'm writing my pen pal in prison

587
00:25:08,710 --> 00:25:18,990
sounds nice hmm well would you like to explain this for instance yeah prison pen pals is a

588
00:25:18,990 --> 00:25:28,470
beautiful segment wherein one of us is a prisoner and one of us is a citizen who is not a prisoner

589
00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:38,990
and through the magic of dating catalogs um the prisoner and the non-prisoner find each other and

590
00:25:38,990 --> 00:25:44,650
it's it's a series of dictated letters that go back and forth who understand how they met and

591
00:25:44,650 --> 00:25:47,310
what their relationship is like and where it may go.

592
00:25:47,710 --> 00:25:51,010
Which we've already established people like sending mail and receiving mail.

593
00:25:51,210 --> 00:25:51,750
They do.

594
00:25:52,290 --> 00:25:52,550
So.

595
00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:57,270
Usually not mail that has to go through a bomb detector, but still.

596
00:25:57,690 --> 00:25:58,870
I think that's kind of exciting.

597
00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:01,430
I don't know if any of my mail has gone through bomb detector.

598
00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:01,890
Oh.

599
00:26:02,790 --> 00:26:03,270
It has.

600
00:26:03,570 --> 00:26:04,290
I don't know, maybe.

601
00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:09,370
Sometimes I think people just, because I know people that work and I'm like, if some of

602
00:26:09,370 --> 00:26:12,330
these people have jobs, I guarantee you they're just like, next.

603
00:26:13,210 --> 00:26:13,470
Yeah.

604
00:26:14,430 --> 00:26:18,910
You're saying some of my mail should have gone through and didn't because someone was lazy on the job?

605
00:26:19,050 --> 00:26:19,230
Yeah.

606
00:26:20,010 --> 00:26:20,270
Hmm.

607
00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:22,830
I wonder what scenario it would have gone through in.

608
00:26:22,870 --> 00:26:23,630
Probably the tennis ball.

609
00:26:24,110 --> 00:26:25,270
Oh, yeah, the tennis ball.

610
00:26:26,330 --> 00:26:30,470
Listeners, if you are confused, you need to be a better fan.

611
00:26:30,670 --> 00:26:30,850
Yeah.

612
00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:32,470
Listen to some back episodes.

613
00:26:33,190 --> 00:26:34,650
You'll hear the tennis ball story.

614
00:26:34,750 --> 00:26:35,050
Come back, you'll get it.

615
00:26:35,110 --> 00:26:40,030
Anyway, so are you feeling more of a connection with the prisoner or the non-prisoner?

616
00:26:40,110 --> 00:26:40,710
I'll be the prisoner.

617
00:26:40,970 --> 00:26:41,270
You will?

618
00:26:41,490 --> 00:26:41,710
Mm-hmm.

619
00:26:42,030 --> 00:26:42,570
Okay, great.

620
00:26:43,470 --> 00:26:45,710
I guess I'll be the other one.

621
00:26:46,330 --> 00:26:47,430
Okay, shall we begin?

622
00:26:48,070 --> 00:26:48,770
We shall.

623
00:26:50,910 --> 00:26:52,050
June 1st.

624
00:26:52,710 --> 00:26:53,310
This year.

625
00:26:57,330 --> 00:26:58,350
Dear Roger,

626
00:26:59,270 --> 00:27:03,790
All I can tell you is that since you replied to my inquiry from the catalog,

627
00:27:04,070 --> 00:27:05,070
my heart has been a flutter.

628
00:27:05,670 --> 00:27:07,550
All I do is sit in my room and scream,

629
00:27:07,550 --> 00:27:08,710
Yes, Roger loves me.

630
00:27:08,770 --> 00:27:09,230
Yes.

631
00:27:09,230 --> 00:27:14,430
Enclosed is the $1,400 you asked for.

632
00:27:15,150 --> 00:27:16,770
I hope you'll tell me how you're going to use it.

633
00:27:17,570 --> 00:27:20,010
Roger, I look forward to being your wife one day.

634
00:27:20,370 --> 00:27:21,730
Sincerely, Cindy.

635
00:27:25,590 --> 00:27:26,810
What up, Cindy girl?

636
00:27:29,090 --> 00:27:32,490
The date is June 4th, this year.

637
00:27:34,930 --> 00:27:36,390
Thanks so much for the money.

638
00:27:36,390 --> 00:27:40,410
I can't tell you what I'm going to use it for

639
00:27:40,410 --> 00:27:44,470
but needless to say I got some big plans

640
00:27:44,470 --> 00:27:45,530
for when I get out of here

641
00:27:45,530 --> 00:27:49,570
and you're a big part of them plans Cindy

642
00:27:49,570 --> 00:27:55,510
my dog is also part of them plans

643
00:27:55,510 --> 00:27:58,890
he's real cool you'll meet him

644
00:27:58,890 --> 00:28:00,290
his name is Bruiser

645
00:28:00,290 --> 00:28:05,870
anyway if you could possibly also

646
00:28:05,870 --> 00:28:06,850
sand

647
00:28:06,850 --> 00:28:10,130
some

648
00:28:10,130 --> 00:28:13,070
beef jerky.

649
00:28:13,910 --> 00:28:15,350
I like beef jerky.

650
00:28:16,050 --> 00:28:16,490
And, um,

651
00:28:17,410 --> 00:28:18,350
maybe one of those

652
00:28:18,350 --> 00:28:19,790
tiny little hammers

653
00:28:19,790 --> 00:28:21,230
like they have in the Shawshank Redemption.

654
00:28:23,510 --> 00:28:24,830
Don't ask me why.

655
00:28:25,030 --> 00:28:25,610
Can't tell you.

656
00:28:27,190 --> 00:28:28,550
Sherwood would appreciate it, though.

657
00:28:32,450 --> 00:28:33,090
You're

658
00:28:33,090 --> 00:28:33,530
prisoner

659
00:28:33,530 --> 00:28:35,550
for now.

660
00:28:35,870 --> 00:28:39,070
guy for life.

661
00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:40,530
Roger.

662
00:28:42,050 --> 00:28:43,250
June 5th this year.

663
00:28:43,650 --> 00:28:44,630
Roger, dot, dot, dot.

664
00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:45,830
Is everything okay?

665
00:28:46,010 --> 00:28:47,290
I noticed when you signed off your letter,

666
00:28:47,350 --> 00:28:48,470
you didn't say love.

667
00:28:49,210 --> 00:28:51,090
Love, comma, love, comma, Roger.

668
00:28:51,990 --> 00:28:52,870
I hope you're all right.

669
00:28:53,770 --> 00:28:55,470
Anyway, I ran right to the store

670
00:28:55,470 --> 00:28:56,790
in search of beef jerky.

671
00:28:57,470 --> 00:29:01,150
I got turkey jerky, beef jerky, teriyaki,

672
00:29:01,650 --> 00:29:04,510
pineapple, regular, animal flavored.

673
00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:06,030
Roger

674
00:29:06,030 --> 00:29:07,950
Jerky

675
00:29:07,950 --> 00:29:09,290
If that's the way to your heart

676
00:29:09,290 --> 00:29:11,090
I'll jerk all around town

677
00:29:11,090 --> 00:29:15,870
I also found a multitude of hammers

678
00:29:15,870 --> 00:29:17,210
Picture hammer

679
00:29:17,210 --> 00:29:18,430
Guide hammer

680
00:29:18,430 --> 00:29:19,790
Framing hammer

681
00:29:19,790 --> 00:29:22,650
That was really it

682
00:29:22,650 --> 00:29:25,190
I've enclosed them all

683
00:29:25,190 --> 00:29:25,930
With a note

684
00:29:25,930 --> 00:29:28,630
To the people that go through your mail

685
00:29:28,630 --> 00:29:30,570
To let them know that the hammers are

686
00:29:30,570 --> 00:29:32,810
Going to a sweet man named Roger

687
00:29:32,810 --> 00:29:36,930
and to please not hold them back because they're for crafts.

688
00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:42,010
Roger, I looked up your information and I found where you used to live

689
00:29:42,010 --> 00:29:44,710
and I'm not ashamed to say I took your dog.

690
00:29:45,150 --> 00:29:46,110
Bruiser now lives with me.

691
00:29:46,850 --> 00:29:48,570
He's a great dog. He's a swell dog.

692
00:29:49,630 --> 00:29:51,310
Roger, I'm a little confused about something.

693
00:29:51,870 --> 00:29:53,010
Your files have been redacted.

694
00:29:53,330 --> 00:29:54,710
My friends have been asking a lot of questions

695
00:29:54,710 --> 00:29:57,870
and they're concerned that they don't know why you're in prison.

696
00:29:58,310 --> 00:29:59,590
I told them you don't need to know.

697
00:29:59,710 --> 00:30:01,570
I don't even need to know. I love him.

698
00:30:01,570 --> 00:30:04,050
But I am curious if you could share.

699
00:30:04,670 --> 00:30:07,950
Anyway, just so we're totally clear, I love you, Roger.

700
00:30:08,870 --> 00:30:11,050
Capital L-O-V-E, love.

701
00:30:11,670 --> 00:30:16,110
Sincerely end with love, and one day your wife, Cindy P.S., my ring size is six.

702
00:30:18,710 --> 00:30:19,550
Dear Cindy,

703
00:30:21,810 --> 00:30:25,570
I hate to have to write the phrase dumb bitch, because it doesn't...

704
00:30:26,330 --> 00:30:29,350
Letters don't properly convey tone.

705
00:30:29,350 --> 00:30:32,250
but I'm afraid you're being a dumb bitch.

706
00:30:33,510 --> 00:30:34,710
Everybody knows

707
00:30:34,710 --> 00:30:36,590
when you say beef jerky,

708
00:30:37,430 --> 00:30:38,670
you mean Slim Jim.

709
00:30:39,290 --> 00:30:40,910
You sent me a whole bunch of shit

710
00:30:40,910 --> 00:30:42,090
that's not Slim Jims.

711
00:30:43,090 --> 00:30:45,690
And I'm pretty sure I also asked you

712
00:30:45,690 --> 00:30:49,150
specifically for a little hammer

713
00:30:49,150 --> 00:30:52,250
that they have in the Shawshank Redemption.

714
00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:54,530
I didn't need

715
00:30:54,530 --> 00:30:58,410
a whole bunch of hammers.

716
00:30:59,350 --> 00:31:01,390
you dumb bitch.

717
00:31:02,690 --> 00:31:04,110
Again, I'm real sorry.

718
00:31:07,010 --> 00:31:08,950
Conveying tone in a letter is hard.

719
00:31:11,690 --> 00:31:13,410
One thing you should know about Bruiser

720
00:31:13,410 --> 00:31:14,890
now that he's with you,

721
00:31:15,890 --> 00:31:19,770
he does like to hump stuff.

722
00:31:20,270 --> 00:31:21,270
Be prepared for that.

723
00:31:23,110 --> 00:31:23,590
Also,

724
00:31:24,590 --> 00:31:27,130
he has night terrors

725
00:31:27,130 --> 00:31:29,450
where he goes out

726
00:31:29,450 --> 00:31:31,170
and

727
00:31:31,170 --> 00:31:33,150
he thinks

728
00:31:33,150 --> 00:31:34,490
he's dreaming

729
00:31:34,490 --> 00:31:37,830
but it's actually like a waking nightmare situation.

730
00:31:39,050 --> 00:31:40,430
He hunts things.

731
00:31:41,450 --> 00:31:41,550
So

732
00:31:41,550 --> 00:31:43,450
be prepared to be hunted

733
00:31:43,450 --> 00:31:45,190
and humped.

734
00:31:46,370 --> 00:31:48,150
As for my crimes

735
00:31:48,150 --> 00:31:54,490
don't you worry your little dumb bitch head

736
00:31:54,490 --> 00:31:55,710
about it.

737
00:31:56,090 --> 00:31:57,010
Again I mean that.

738
00:31:57,130 --> 00:31:58,450
in an affectionate way.

739
00:31:59,790 --> 00:32:01,650
You can't really convey tone in a letter.

740
00:32:03,470 --> 00:32:03,830
But

741
00:32:03,830 --> 00:32:07,930
I wouldn't worry too much about it.

742
00:32:08,050 --> 00:32:11,310
I just, if possible, avoid newsstands.

743
00:32:11,310 --> 00:32:14,630
Don't read anything about me that you might see

744
00:32:14,630 --> 00:32:16,670
in any paper

745
00:32:16,670 --> 00:32:19,270
or nothing.

746
00:32:19,490 --> 00:32:20,130
And definitely,

747
00:32:20,650 --> 00:32:24,310
definitely don't Google

748
00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:27,230
water park bandit.

749
00:32:28,150 --> 00:32:29,130
Don't do that.

750
00:32:30,410 --> 00:32:31,650
And if you do, just remember

751
00:32:31,650 --> 00:32:33,410
I'm a good guy at heart.

752
00:32:36,890 --> 00:32:37,290
Conda.

753
00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:39,270
Sincerely,

754
00:32:40,410 --> 00:32:41,650
Roger.

755
00:32:42,870 --> 00:32:43,350
Roger.

756
00:32:43,810 --> 00:32:45,270
I'm a dumb bitch.

757
00:32:46,350 --> 00:32:48,310
I should have known to buy you Slim Jims.

758
00:32:48,690 --> 00:32:49,670
They were right there.

759
00:32:49,710 --> 00:32:50,430
Why didn't I get them?

760
00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:51,970
I think I just wanted to impress you so bad

761
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:53,510
with all the different kinds of beef I could find.

762
00:32:54,310 --> 00:32:58,050
I hope you still eat them or at least give them to your friends in prison.

763
00:33:00,590 --> 00:33:03,270
I've been humped many times by your dog, Bruiser.

764
00:33:03,770 --> 00:33:05,270
I like to think it's you.

765
00:33:06,270 --> 00:33:07,810
So I let it go on a little too long.

766
00:33:08,790 --> 00:33:10,570
But eventually I do stop it.

767
00:33:11,610 --> 00:33:11,850
Roger.

768
00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:17,330
I've never been in a relationship like this before, so sometimes I just don't know how to act.

769
00:33:18,290 --> 00:33:19,530
You're right about the hammers, too.

770
00:33:19,830 --> 00:33:20,790
Who's I trying to impress?

771
00:33:21,270 --> 00:33:21,890
Dumbit alert.

772
00:33:24,310 --> 00:33:28,070
So I took some time and I looked up where that movie was made and I drove there.

773
00:33:28,950 --> 00:33:32,610
I was right. They did have a gift shop full of Sharshan cameras.

774
00:33:33,810 --> 00:33:34,750
I bought them all.

775
00:33:36,010 --> 00:33:38,710
And then I thought, there she is again, trying to impress Roger.

776
00:33:41,530 --> 00:33:43,690
And I went back and I returned them all except one.

777
00:33:43,750 --> 00:33:44,510
You only need one.

778
00:33:45,910 --> 00:33:58,460
I got it with me and I going to mail it I have every intention of mailing it Except you see I couldn help but notice your sign said sincerely

779
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,520
And mine said love.

780
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,900
I actually said love in all capitals.

781
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:13,580
And I can understand if you're not there yet, but also you should have assured me that it's okay that I said that, because you know I've been freaking out.

782
00:34:13,580 --> 00:34:16,280
I said love and you said nothing

783
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:17,380
Roger

784
00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:18,640
The fuck

785
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,481
Just think about it

786
00:34:21,481 --> 00:34:22,560
Let me know

787
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,700
This is a nice hammer and I wouldn't mind keeping it

788
00:34:24,700 --> 00:34:28,760
Also I did google

789
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,660
Water killer bandit or whatever you said

790
00:34:30,660 --> 00:34:32,360
And um

791
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,080
Pretty heinous stuff

792
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,180
Okay it would take a real cool and understanding

793
00:34:37,180 --> 00:34:38,920
Chick to still love someone like that

794
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,140
Some heinous beast

795
00:34:41,140 --> 00:34:42,680
Who did heinous beast crimes

796
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:47,940
But I'm willing to do it for love.

797
00:34:48,740 --> 00:34:49,100
Okay?

798
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:50,160
Love you.

799
00:34:50,660 --> 00:34:50,680
Sincerely.

800
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:51,920
With love.

801
00:34:52,420 --> 00:34:52,900
Dumb bitch.

802
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:58,400
Cindy.

803
00:34:59,280 --> 00:34:59,700
Dash.

804
00:35:01,541 --> 00:35:03,001
Send nudes.

805
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,041
Dash.

806
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:07,620
Roger.

807
00:35:11,620 --> 00:35:12,021
Roger.

808
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:13,640
See nudes.

809
00:35:18,140 --> 00:35:18,740
Send.

810
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:21,760
Roger.

811
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,021
I am so embarrassed.

812
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:25,501
I can't believe I sent nudes.

813
00:35:25,580 --> 00:35:26,640
I've never done that before.

814
00:35:27,340 --> 00:35:27,700
Ever.

815
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,940
Please don't share them with the rest of the guys.

816
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,060
Please don't put them up in your cell.

817
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:34,360
Please don't look at them in the dark.

818
00:35:37,981 --> 00:35:40,120
Also, what about all the other stuff I said?

819
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:57,220
Roger, I've noticed that you're not responding.

820
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,700
I'm getting upset.

821
00:36:01,780 --> 00:36:05,521
And frankly, I'm horny.

822
00:36:06,481 --> 00:36:08,760
I'm horny for love and other stuff.

823
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,041
And I chose you.

824
00:36:11,041 --> 00:36:13,041
and I've sent you over

825
00:36:13,041 --> 00:36:14,880
$2,000 in cash

826
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,080
many meats and cheeses

827
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:18,460
encouraging words

828
00:36:18,460 --> 00:36:19,940
and I've been thinking about you

829
00:36:19,940 --> 00:36:21,260
and I've lost all my friends

830
00:36:21,260 --> 00:36:22,140
because of what you did

831
00:36:22,140 --> 00:36:24,180
the sick things you did

832
00:36:24,180 --> 00:36:26,840
and now you go cold on me?

833
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:28,840
Don't piss me off.

834
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:34,021
Dear Rashida

835
00:36:34,021 --> 00:36:35,100
What's up girl?

836
00:36:36,041 --> 00:36:37,080
I love that you wrote me.

837
00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:40,501
You sound like you're not a dumb bitch.

838
00:36:41,041 --> 00:36:46,981
I really look forward to getting to know you, to getting some nudes.

839
00:36:48,300 --> 00:36:49,300
Love, Roger.

840
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,920
Clink, clink, clink, clink.

841
00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:01,501
Dear Roger, I wonder, have you noticed late at night lying in your cell

842
00:37:01,501 --> 00:37:03,481
that sometimes you hear a weird clinking sound?

843
00:37:03,940 --> 00:37:05,420
Gee, I wonder what that could be.

844
00:37:05,700 --> 00:37:10,140
Not someone with a vengeance holding a shot-sharing camera on the outside of the prison working on their way in.

845
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:11,840
Gee, only time will tell.

846
00:37:13,021 --> 00:37:15,320
Anyway, who the fuck is Rashida?

847
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,400
Dear Cindy, please disregard my last letter

848
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,100
or regard it as a joke.

849
00:37:24,481 --> 00:37:26,100
Either way, don't worry about it.

850
00:37:27,981 --> 00:37:29,440
Something real cool happened.

851
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:35,240
I got sent anonymously a poster of a pinup girl from the 50s

852
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,501
and I was told to hang it up in my cell

853
00:37:37,501 --> 00:37:38,840
and don't look behind it.

854
00:37:39,521 --> 00:37:39,800
Ever.

855
00:37:40,140 --> 00:37:44,220
I don't look a gift horse in the mouth,

856
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,680
so of course I hung it up.

857
00:37:48,001 --> 00:37:50,300
I don't know what you were driving at

858
00:37:50,300 --> 00:37:52,580
with that clink, clink, clink business

859
00:37:52,580 --> 00:37:55,180
and the Shawshank hammer,

860
00:37:55,521 --> 00:37:59,501
but I sure do wish you'd send me that thing.

861
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,521
Sorry about the Rashida business,

862
00:38:04,820 --> 00:38:08,061
or ha-ha about the Rashida business,

863
00:38:08,061 --> 00:38:09,940
depending on which way you took it.

864
00:38:10,140 --> 00:38:13,700
Anyway, I sold your nudes.

865
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,920
And traded them for some beef jerky.

866
00:38:21,100 --> 00:38:21,840
Some Slim Jams.

867
00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:26,501
So in a way, you did get me Slim Jams, and I do appreciate that.

868
00:38:29,001 --> 00:38:34,720
In the meantime, don't worry about me being barbaric.

869
00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:38,001
Or anything that you might have read on the internet.

870
00:38:40,140 --> 00:38:46,001
just maybe send new nudes and I'll try and keep these.

871
00:38:47,340 --> 00:38:47,820
And,

872
00:38:47,860 --> 00:38:48,240
uh,

873
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,840
maybe a few hundred dollars wouldn't hurt either.

874
00:38:54,620 --> 00:38:55,860
Best Roger.

875
00:38:57,021 --> 00:38:57,720
Dear Roger,

876
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,780
I hope he received all the money and extra nudes I sent.

877
00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:05,360
I feel disrespected by you.

878
00:39:07,420 --> 00:39:08,800
It's hard for me to vocalize that,

879
00:39:08,860 --> 00:39:09,860
but I'm strong when I said it.

880
00:39:10,140 --> 00:39:11,180
I'm writing it down again.

881
00:39:11,501 --> 00:39:13,140
I feel disrespected by you.

882
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:15,481
I've enclosed two tablets.

883
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:17,640
I'd like for you to take them tonight.

884
00:39:19,140 --> 00:39:19,660
Sincerely,

885
00:39:21,340 --> 00:39:21,600
Cindy.

886
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:29,160
Cindy.

887
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:32,700
Thank you for the drugs.

888
00:39:34,380 --> 00:39:36,180
I look forward to taking them tonight

889
00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:38,180
in my sale.

890
00:39:40,140 --> 00:39:42,260
I'm sure it's real good shit.

891
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,800
And you know what?

892
00:39:48,521 --> 00:39:50,740
I'll finally look into that conjugal tent.

893
00:39:52,521 --> 00:39:53,960
Maybe set something up.

894
00:39:55,240 --> 00:39:56,380
Talk to the warden.

895
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,300
I'll get back to you.

896
00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:03,760
After I take these drugs that you sent me.

897
00:40:06,021 --> 00:40:06,620
Love.

898
00:40:07,820 --> 00:40:08,420
Roger.

899
00:40:10,140 --> 00:40:12,080
Dear R

900
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,140
Thanks for taking the drugs

901
00:40:15,140 --> 00:40:16,760
It made my plan really come together

902
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,340
As you know or maybe not know

903
00:40:19,340 --> 00:40:21,300
I've been shawshanking through the other side of prison

904
00:40:21,300 --> 00:40:22,140
For many weeks now

905
00:40:22,140 --> 00:40:24,680
The drugs you took last night

906
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:26,420
Put you in almost a comatose state

907
00:40:26,420 --> 00:40:28,220
I was able to slip in and quote

908
00:40:28,220 --> 00:40:29,400
Have my way with you

909
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:32,340
You'll be happy

910
00:40:32,340 --> 00:40:34,120
Unhappy or ambivalent to note

911
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:35,800
That I've taken child

912
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:40,041
Your child

913
00:40:40,041 --> 00:40:44,001
Also, because you sold my nudes

914
00:40:44,001 --> 00:40:47,640
Which was a total invasion of my privacy and not cool

915
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:52,340
I received a letter from the person who bought them

916
00:40:52,340 --> 00:40:55,541
He knew from the minute he saw me in the nude

917
00:40:55,541 --> 00:40:57,541
I was the one for him

918
00:40:57,541 --> 00:40:59,880
I'd begun a relationship with him

919
00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:04,140
I think it would be best if I just kept our baby

920
00:41:04,140 --> 00:41:05,920
And dated this other guy

921
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,100
Who, by the way, takes meat of all denominations

922
00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:14,400
and who said he loved me right away

923
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,580
and just moved on with my life.

924
00:41:18,541 --> 00:41:19,360
And just so you know,

925
00:41:19,940 --> 00:41:21,280
I knew who you were the whole time.

926
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,180
I'm the mother of that water park.

927
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:28,720
Wow.

928
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,340
Think that wraps up prison pen pals.

929
00:41:33,340 --> 00:41:39,760
pretty good segment but nothing to write prison about

930
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:48,700
what a harrowing journey that happens all the time in prison yeah i know well we just saw

931
00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:54,360
an example of it that i mean that was just one of many stories that could have been told today

932
00:41:54,360 --> 00:42:02,981
um little confession sometimes i see hot prisoners like on the internet and i'm like

933
00:42:02,981 --> 00:42:09,541
you know people write them letters for real like there's like yeah i'm like maybe i maybe i'll do

934
00:42:09,541 --> 00:42:18,021
that but i never have good don't sometimes they're very hot and it's like how soon until they're

935
00:42:18,021 --> 00:42:22,581
extradited out of prison you know uh i just saw this thing do you remember like a few years ago

936
00:42:22,581 --> 00:42:31,160
there was that hot mugshot guy he was luigi no oh no no i'll see if i can find a picture of him

937
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:38,600
later but like he was a guy he had like like like like piercing blue eyes oh and then he became a

938
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:43,100
model yeah he's like a model for real now and he has like owns a company like he got a modeling

939
00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:49,920
contract and and yeah i just like saw something about it was like oh yeah yeah i remember that

940
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:54,740
that just from his mug shot he got a modeling contract well it's hard to look good in a

941
00:42:54,740 --> 00:42:56,660
and that.

942
00:42:58,481 --> 00:42:58,800
Yeah.

943
00:42:59,100 --> 00:42:59,780
In a mugshot?

944
00:43:00,481 --> 00:43:00,840
Yeah.

945
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,541
Can't confirm he's, yeah.

946
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:04,920
Yeah.

947
00:43:05,541 --> 00:43:06,840
But he's got, like, it's like,

948
00:43:06,940 --> 00:43:07,460
because he's got, like,

949
00:43:07,460 --> 00:43:08,260
a dark, like,

950
00:43:08,780 --> 00:43:10,061
darker complexion skin,

951
00:43:10,180 --> 00:43:10,660
but, like,

952
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:12,240
blue eyes.

953
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:12,420
Yeah.

954
00:43:13,001 --> 00:43:13,840
He's tall.

955
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:14,340
Yeah.

956
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:14,581
Yeah.

957
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:15,640
Good bone structure.

958
00:43:15,820 --> 00:43:16,880
All things he can control.

959
00:43:17,180 --> 00:43:18,180
So glad it worked out for him.

960
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:18,880
Yep.

961
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:21,200
All things that he chose.

962
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:21,860
Yeah.

963
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:22,501
Let me see.

964
00:43:24,740 --> 00:43:25,021
Yeah.

965
00:43:25,340 --> 00:43:27,120
I mean, he's not for me, but he's very attractive.

966
00:43:29,220 --> 00:43:33,260
I just, I, that would just, I, what did you Google to?

967
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,380
Prisoner who became a hot mugshot guy.

968
00:43:36,460 --> 00:43:37,260
Hot mugshot guy.

969
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:38,760
So that's just for our listeners.

970
00:43:38,900 --> 00:43:39,920
So they, they could.

971
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:41,820
Photo credit, hot mugshot guy.

972
00:43:42,380 --> 00:43:42,780
Yeah.

973
00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:44,640
Okay.

974
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:46,700
Well, now that that's out of the way.

975
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:48,600
Yeah.

976
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:52,021
Maybe one of those hot, hot prisoners that you write a letter to could become a model.

977
00:43:53,021 --> 00:43:53,940
That was my point.

978
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:54,460
Yeah.

979
00:43:54,740 --> 00:43:58,581
The problem is you think they're hot and then you look up what they did and it's a horrible crime.

980
00:43:59,081 --> 00:44:00,561
Yeah, it's got to be.

981
00:44:00,660 --> 00:44:04,960
It's like, this guy mowed down a family on accident because he was racing his friends.

982
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:06,481
It's like, oh, I don't want to date that.

983
00:44:07,021 --> 00:44:07,180
Yeah.

984
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:08,180
Did he win?

985
00:44:09,001 --> 00:44:09,940
Did he win the race?

986
00:44:10,001 --> 00:44:10,541
Not in a long run.

987
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:18,041
Well, it's time for our final segment, The Big Question.

988
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,760
The question is very big.

989
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:25,880
now as per usual

990
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:29,820
in the

991
00:44:29,820 --> 00:44:32,420
chronology of the big question

992
00:44:32,420 --> 00:44:35,581
I

993
00:44:35,581 --> 00:44:38,581
this is where I ask you

994
00:44:38,581 --> 00:44:40,940
Francis

995
00:44:40,940 --> 00:44:43,001
do you have a big question?

996
00:44:43,001 --> 00:44:45,001
because I don't

997
00:44:45,001 --> 00:44:47,521
that was something

998
00:44:47,521 --> 00:44:50,940
I bet Francis has a

999
00:44:50,940 --> 00:44:52,460
huge question.

1000
00:44:53,140 --> 00:44:55,021
Yeah. That was a real herd of cattle,

1001
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:55,440
Jenna.

1002
00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,200
I'm gonna write it down

1003
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:00,501
and then I'll figure out what to do with it later.

1004
00:45:01,100 --> 00:45:02,320
I don't know what you're talking about.

1005
00:45:02,660 --> 00:45:04,021
Of course you don't.

1006
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:06,940
Yes, I got a

1007
00:45:06,940 --> 00:45:07,581
humongous

1008
00:45:07,581 --> 00:45:10,260
big old question.

1009
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:12,840
Big old question for you.

1010
00:45:13,041 --> 00:45:14,420
Big old question.

1011
00:45:14,420 --> 00:45:16,180
Is question too big for you?

1012
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:18,420
I'll be a judge of that.

1013
00:45:18,581 --> 00:45:20,120
Yeah, you gonna judge my big question?

1014
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:25,260
here it is my question is so i don't know if you know this about me but i'm actually

1015
00:45:25,260 --> 00:45:35,420
kind of afraid of the open ocean i mean like a lot afraid um so i think about it a lot because

1016
00:45:35,420 --> 00:45:46,081
i also really want to take a cruise um so those two things don't really like yeah mesh yeah um

1017
00:45:46,081 --> 00:45:49,220
i would do it especially because it's like there's a lot of people so it's like oh if we're gonna die

1018
00:45:49,220 --> 00:45:49,740
we're all going to die.

1019
00:45:49,860 --> 00:45:50,561
That comforts me.

1020
00:45:52,720 --> 00:45:54,440
Anyway, so my question to you is.

1021
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:54,981
Okay.

1022
00:45:57,501 --> 00:46:01,920
You host a cruise ship company.

1023
00:46:02,021 --> 00:46:02,640
Like, it's your company.

1024
00:46:03,140 --> 00:46:03,400
Okay?

1025
00:46:04,521 --> 00:46:06,940
You have a bunch of people like me

1026
00:46:06,940 --> 00:46:08,140
who's terrified of the ocean.

1027
00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:12,260
You have to tailor your cruise

1028
00:46:12,260 --> 00:46:15,720
to people who are, like, terrified of the water.

1029
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:17,660
So you need to, like, tell me all the features

1030
00:46:17,660 --> 00:46:18,320
that you would have

1031
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:23,041
and what you would do to make people who are afraid of water forget and enjoy the cruise.

1032
00:46:23,140 --> 00:46:24,501
Like, what would the cruise be about?

1033
00:46:26,041 --> 00:46:32,120
Wait, the cruise is themed towards getting people to not be afraid of water?

1034
00:46:32,220 --> 00:46:32,581
Yes.

1035
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,760
Not just like what preventative measures am I taking?

1036
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,820
Not just like, oh, we have life to, nothing like that.

1037
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,300
Just like, what activities are you going to do?

1038
00:46:40,300 --> 00:46:43,581
How are you going to make scared people not scared of the cruise?

1039
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:52,521
But like not in like a therapeutic way, like immersion therapy or whatever.

1040
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,360
Like this is your baby.

1041
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,260
You can do whatever you want with your baby.

1042
00:46:56,561 --> 00:46:56,900
Okay.

1043
00:46:58,541 --> 00:47:00,800
Listeners, don't do whatever you want with your baby.

1044
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:02,820
Be responsible with your babies, please.

1045
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:06,120
Okay.

1046
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,001
That's the lady who shook my baby.

1047
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,780
Oh, that's a real deep cup.

1048
00:47:13,860 --> 00:47:15,481
I think that's episode one, right?

1049
00:47:15,481 --> 00:47:16,220
Right to the bone.

1050
00:47:16,380 --> 00:47:16,541
Yeah.

1051
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:17,140
Yeah.

1052
00:47:17,660 --> 00:47:18,180
Okay.

1053
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:32,880
first uh i would uh have a design your own life preserver crafting class love it

1054
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:39,981
love it yeah so that's great everyone can be dazzle and be jangle whatever they want

1055
00:47:39,981 --> 00:47:44,501
the jangle yeah that's a what's be jangling it's a fun is that your word

1056
00:47:44,501 --> 00:47:47,001
fuck no that better not be your word

1057
00:47:47,001 --> 00:47:48,360
I'll be pissed

1058
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,541
is that a word? I'm upset

1059
00:47:50,541 --> 00:47:52,001
calm down calm down

1060
00:47:52,001 --> 00:47:53,340
you'll find out later

1061
00:47:53,340 --> 00:47:56,320
Joe you didn't give her that did you?

1062
00:47:56,581 --> 00:47:59,140
okay it's not the time for that now

1063
00:47:59,140 --> 00:48:03,981
I'm gonna be so mad

1064
00:48:03,981 --> 00:48:05,120
no

1065
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,620
okay it's not the time for it

1066
00:48:08,620 --> 00:48:10,501
did I isn't it?

1067
00:48:11,220 --> 00:48:12,160
shut up now

1068
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,041
oh I'm upset

1069
00:48:14,041 --> 00:48:15,100
I'm trying.

1070
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:15,720
I'm upset.

1071
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:16,380
Calm down.

1072
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:16,840
Okay.

1073
00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:26,541
So basically people could do whatever they want to make their life preservers their own.

1074
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:32,521
So then it becomes not like a scary thing that only you need in an emergency.

1075
00:48:32,521 --> 00:48:34,140
It becomes a fun accessory.

1076
00:48:34,340 --> 00:48:39,660
And then we could even have life preserver fashion shows.

1077
00:48:39,660 --> 00:48:50,380
So like people like strut the runway and their little, and then whoever wins, like that will have a little vote and whoever wins the vote gets a fun little prize.

1078
00:48:51,561 --> 00:48:53,081
So that would be one activity.

1079
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,840
And then it's like, it's almost like you're hoping that you get into an accident, you know?

1080
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:59,581
Because yeah, you kind of want to show off your hard work.

1081
00:48:59,581 --> 00:48:59,840
Right.

1082
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:17,460
I would also make all of the beds shaped like, you know how there's like little kids have race car beds?

1083
00:49:17,780 --> 00:49:18,820
I used to have one.

1084
00:49:19,180 --> 00:49:20,300
Oh, I think they're fun.

1085
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,280
I hope that people still do that for their children.

1086
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:29,140
Instead of race car beds, they would be like boat beds.

1087
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:37,660
So it would make people feel like the Titanic and you could click the remote and the back

1088
00:49:37,660 --> 00:49:39,541
could like come up like the ship was breaking.

1089
00:49:40,820 --> 00:49:41,640
Oh, wait.

1090
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:45,001
So, oh, so it's like a hospital bed, but it's like breaking in half.

1091
00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:45,360
Yeah.

1092
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:46,880
So like when you're flat, it's a Titanic.

1093
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:49,260
And then when you raise it up to sit, we hit an iceberg.

1094
00:49:49,660 --> 00:49:49,940
Yeah.

1095
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:50,360
Yeah.

1096
00:49:50,541 --> 00:49:50,900
Yeah.

1097
00:49:50,900 --> 00:49:52,640
That's a fun, fun way to do that.

1098
00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:54,581
So it adds a little whimsy.

1099
00:49:55,581 --> 00:49:58,061
And, you know, like people feel safe when they're sleeping.

1100
00:49:58,061 --> 00:50:03,300
so um it's like hey you're safe in a boat if you're ever thirsty and you need water then someone

1101
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:06,920
just comes and dunks your head in a bucket of water for five minutes to make you feel like

1102
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:13,800
you're drowning and it's the temperature of the atlantic yep very cold very cold the atlantic

1103
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:27,740
yeah famously cold yeah yeah go on you're doing great thank you um i would have uh a special

1104
00:50:27,740 --> 00:50:39,680
buffet that was all is completely like fish related or like completely like things like

1105
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:54,071
in the ocean but it would all be like delicious like really really well prepared so that it like takes away like the scariness of like what in the ocean It like this is in the ocean delicious shrimp and a nice white fish

1106
00:50:55,851 --> 00:50:56,991
What's in the ocean?

1107
00:50:57,311 --> 00:50:58,331
This is in the ocean.

1108
00:50:59,131 --> 00:51:03,271
Yeah, so it takes away the scary factor of that.

1109
00:51:06,991 --> 00:51:08,251
Great, love a buffet.

1110
00:51:08,251 --> 00:51:19,591
I would have a, there would be a standup comedian and like every cruise standup comedian,

1111
00:51:19,991 --> 00:51:25,411
they would not be a good standup, but here would be my little twist on that.

1112
00:51:26,991 --> 00:51:29,431
They would be in a dunk tank.

1113
00:51:29,511 --> 00:51:31,931
So they'd be doing their set from a dunk tank.

1114
00:51:31,931 --> 00:51:37,871
And anytime they made a really bad joke, the audience would get to throw something at him,

1115
00:51:37,871 --> 00:51:42,111
like throw like tomato balls whatever like they'd be balls but they look like tomatoes

1116
00:51:42,111 --> 00:51:50,171
uh and if then be able to dunk him so he'd get submerged in water it's like a fun way to be like

1117
00:51:50,171 --> 00:51:54,891
oh that was a bad joke you're a bad comedian boom then he's in water you're still safe outside the

1118
00:51:54,891 --> 00:52:02,571
dunk tank um so it's also taking away it's giving humor to being in water too like i was really

1119
00:52:02,571 --> 00:52:06,271
hoping it was just going to be instead of a dunk tank just like a shoot that goes through the bottom

1120
00:52:06,271 --> 00:52:06,931
Into the ocean?

1121
00:52:07,031 --> 00:52:07,551
Into the ocean.

1122
00:52:08,991 --> 00:52:10,331
Be funny or die.

1123
00:52:11,691 --> 00:52:13,411
I don't know if I could do that to my worst enemy.

1124
00:52:14,411 --> 00:52:14,691
Yeah.

1125
00:52:15,631 --> 00:52:20,031
I want to make people have positive associations with the water

1126
00:52:20,031 --> 00:52:24,971
so that they don't feel like they're going to die.

1127
00:52:26,571 --> 00:52:27,851
I love the first thing you came up with.

1128
00:52:28,011 --> 00:52:29,431
I like the idea of that kind of activity.

1129
00:52:32,011 --> 00:52:32,451
Yeah.

1130
00:52:33,591 --> 00:52:35,491
What other things do they do on cruises?

1131
00:52:36,271 --> 00:52:38,131
They split people up on sides.

1132
00:52:39,351 --> 00:52:40,111
What does that mean?

1133
00:52:40,691 --> 00:52:41,791
Well, there's two sides to a boat.

1134
00:52:42,631 --> 00:52:43,651
And a band of bands on the back.

1135
00:52:45,291 --> 00:52:46,891
And to every story.

1136
00:52:48,311 --> 00:52:51,791
Yeah, but I mean, they split people up to sides, but what does that mean?

1137
00:52:52,371 --> 00:52:54,531
Well, you split people up based on personality.

1138
00:52:54,811 --> 00:52:57,831
So this is the stuff that we're doing on port side.

1139
00:52:58,611 --> 00:52:59,011
Is that what you said?

1140
00:52:59,111 --> 00:52:59,251
Port?

1141
00:52:59,551 --> 00:53:00,331
Port and starboard.

1142
00:53:00,831 --> 00:53:02,411
And on starboard side, this is the stuff we do.

1143
00:53:02,411 --> 00:53:06,211
Yeah, it's like having two stages at a festival.

1144
00:53:06,271 --> 00:53:13,111
Yeah, so say you're there with someone that you're there with, like a spouse or a friend or any other relationship.

1145
00:53:15,031 --> 00:53:18,051
Anyway, but you're not the same.

1146
00:53:18,191 --> 00:53:23,191
So it's like, hey, I'm going to be over here picking up starfish in this little tank.

1147
00:53:23,551 --> 00:53:27,591
And you're going to be on the other side painting starfish.

1148
00:53:30,211 --> 00:53:33,971
But they do actually separate them to a different sense?

1149
00:53:33,971 --> 00:53:35,071
So it's just going.

1150
00:53:35,071 --> 00:53:36,811
going. It's just like

1151
00:53:36,811 --> 00:53:38,951
an itinerary, basically.

1152
00:53:39,291 --> 00:53:41,051
This stuff is happening on this side.

1153
00:53:41,831 --> 00:53:43,191
Like at a

1154
00:53:43,191 --> 00:53:45,231
concert where it's like, oh, this band is playing on this

1155
00:53:45,231 --> 00:53:47,191
stage at 11 a.m., but this other band

1156
00:53:47,191 --> 00:53:48,791
is playing on the other stage at 11 a.m.

1157
00:53:48,791 --> 00:53:51,211
I can't see them both. You made it sound like this was

1158
00:53:51,211 --> 00:53:53,211
some kind of special cruise ship thing

1159
00:53:53,211 --> 00:53:54,831
that they do. Oh, no, no. I was just giving ideas.

1160
00:53:55,151 --> 00:53:57,011
I was like, what else do they do on a cruise ship? And you're like,

1161
00:53:57,071 --> 00:53:58,691
they split people up into sides.

1162
00:53:59,171 --> 00:54:00,111
I was like, what?

1163
00:54:00,931 --> 00:54:02,331
Well, all I know basically is

1164
00:54:02,331 --> 00:54:04,151
there's food,

1165
00:54:04,151 --> 00:54:05,471
entertainment

1166
00:54:05,471 --> 00:54:06,811
portholes

1167
00:54:06,811 --> 00:54:08,191
you can look through

1168
00:54:08,191 --> 00:54:09,611
you can stay up all night

1169
00:54:09,611 --> 00:54:10,511
you can get up at 2 in the morning

1170
00:54:10,511 --> 00:54:11,151
and if you're hungry

1171
00:54:11,151 --> 00:54:12,331
the kitchen's open

1172
00:54:12,331 --> 00:54:13,951
that is cool to me

1173
00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:16,811
I

1174
00:54:16,811 --> 00:54:23,831
would have

1175
00:54:23,831 --> 00:54:27,311
an ice limbo

1176
00:54:27,311 --> 00:54:30,931
yeah so as

1177
00:54:30,931 --> 00:54:33,131
you're limboing

1178
00:54:33,131 --> 00:54:37,031
and you know it's getting hot and sweaty in there then it starts to drip

1179
00:54:37,031 --> 00:54:42,191
it's dripping on you as it's so people are you're gonna get wet do you want to get wet

1180
00:54:42,191 --> 00:54:49,791
well it's again it's a way to like softly introduce you softly introduce uh um

1181
00:54:49,791 --> 00:54:54,091
water into these people's lives people that are afraid of this water

1182
00:54:54,091 --> 00:55:00,331
just like see nothing to be scared of we're having a fun time yeah and maybe they could find a maybe

1183
00:55:00,331 --> 00:55:01,971
I think they could find a nice shark

1184
00:55:01,971 --> 00:55:03,891
and it could be

1185
00:55:03,891 --> 00:55:06,271
in the ship.

1186
00:55:06,891 --> 00:55:07,811
Like in a little thing.

1187
00:55:07,951 --> 00:55:09,471
And you could be around it.

1188
00:55:10,671 --> 00:55:11,751
A nice shark?

1189
00:55:12,011 --> 00:55:12,291
Yeah.

1190
00:55:13,251 --> 00:55:13,571
Yeah.

1191
00:55:14,671 --> 00:55:15,071
Like

1192
00:55:15,071 --> 00:55:19,351
was it Left Shark

1193
00:55:19,351 --> 00:55:21,671
from Katy Perry at the Super Bowl?

1194
00:55:22,231 --> 00:55:22,751
Yeah.

1195
00:55:22,751 --> 00:55:24,171
We could probably get him.

1196
00:55:24,691 --> 00:55:25,171
That would be great.

1197
00:55:26,511 --> 00:55:28,211
That was 12 years ago.

1198
00:55:28,371 --> 00:55:29,211
Isn't that insane?

1199
00:55:29,211 --> 00:55:31,031
yes it is insane

1200
00:55:31,031 --> 00:55:34,331
it's like it was this morning

1201
00:55:34,331 --> 00:55:35,011
in my memory

1202
00:55:35,011 --> 00:55:37,651
I'm still waiting for it to happen

1203
00:55:37,651 --> 00:55:42,191
so funny well I think you're doing really

1204
00:55:42,191 --> 00:55:42,811
great

1205
00:55:42,811 --> 00:55:44,951
I

1206
00:55:44,951 --> 00:55:48,051
I think

1207
00:55:48,051 --> 00:55:50,651
there would

1208
00:55:50,651 --> 00:55:54,011
I would have a

1209
00:55:54,011 --> 00:55:55,991
I would have a room

1210
00:55:55,991 --> 00:55:57,951
or like a section of it

1211
00:55:57,951 --> 00:56:01,411
for the people that are really, really ready to face their fears

1212
00:56:01,411 --> 00:56:04,731
where it's like lucite bottom.

1213
00:56:05,531 --> 00:56:05,931
Oh.

1214
00:56:06,451 --> 00:56:11,271
So you can like walk through and kind of see what's going on.

1215
00:56:11,451 --> 00:56:16,371
And also I think that would demystify some things.

1216
00:56:16,571 --> 00:56:19,631
Like, hey, see, it's not as scary as you think.

1217
00:56:20,631 --> 00:56:22,391
You have a goal, something you work up to.

1218
00:56:22,851 --> 00:56:25,691
And part of the working up to it too,

1219
00:56:25,691 --> 00:56:35,691
there would be a uh like a rage cage type room that would have the very same lucite in it that

1220
00:56:35,691 --> 00:56:41,211
you could hit and so then people could go to the rage room and hit other things but they could hit

1221
00:56:41,211 --> 00:56:45,511
the lucite and then see how strong that lucite is that it's like don't worry this is not going to

1222
00:56:45,511 --> 00:56:54,551
break look you just tried to break it yourself and you failed i gave you a big old hammer not

1223
00:56:54,551 --> 00:56:56,251
one of those tiny Shawshank hammers.

1224
00:56:57,651 --> 00:56:58,971
And so, yeah.

1225
00:56:59,931 --> 00:57:01,851
I was thinking too, since you mentioned that,

1226
00:57:02,391 --> 00:57:04,671
that could go deep, like under the ship.

1227
00:57:04,991 --> 00:57:06,411
It could extend down deeply

1228
00:57:06,411 --> 00:57:07,951
and there could be like stairs.

1229
00:57:08,211 --> 00:57:10,971
So you could go in the, like in the ocean,

1230
00:57:11,331 --> 00:57:14,311
you know, down below while it's ships moving.

1231
00:57:14,511 --> 00:57:16,671
You could be sitting like underwater

1232
00:57:16,671 --> 00:57:17,711
and watching everything go by.

1233
00:57:17,851 --> 00:57:19,331
Yeah, that would be cool.

1234
00:57:19,791 --> 00:57:22,231
Yeah, we should email them.

1235
00:57:22,231 --> 00:57:28,751
dear cruises do this remember when i gave you that trip to knott'sbury farm

1236
00:57:28,751 --> 00:57:37,091
um yeah that's a good idea i would like that you know what's another idea i had about it

1237
00:57:37,091 --> 00:57:41,931
everyone goes on their first day on the cruise and we stay in the bay

1238
00:57:41,931 --> 00:57:48,271
or there's land yep yes yeah we're fine that's so funny i actually did think of that and i

1239
00:57:48,271 --> 00:57:49,371
forgot to say it.

1240
00:57:50,291 --> 00:57:51,651
Legit, I know that sounds like I'm lying.

1241
00:57:52,291 --> 00:57:54,191
No, no, but yeah, you'd have a day

1242
00:57:54,191 --> 00:57:56,071
where it's like, no, no, we're just at...

1243
00:57:56,071 --> 00:57:57,511
Yeah, baby steps. We're just out.

1244
00:57:58,911 --> 00:58:00,151
We're just sitting

1245
00:58:00,151 --> 00:58:02,151
in the bay. We're gonna be

1246
00:58:02,151 --> 00:58:03,511
here for a day and a half.

1247
00:58:04,111 --> 00:58:05,131
And then we're gonna move

1248
00:58:05,131 --> 00:58:08,031
half a mile offshore.

1249
00:58:08,191 --> 00:58:09,791
No, I was thinking while they were sleeping, we move.

1250
00:58:10,931 --> 00:58:12,271
No, because then you'd wake up to a bunch

1251
00:58:12,271 --> 00:58:13,671
of screaming people. Yeah.

1252
00:58:15,111 --> 00:58:16,291
No, they need to be aware.

1253
00:58:16,291 --> 00:58:17,851
Which is fine if that's what you're expecting.

1254
00:58:17,851 --> 00:58:20,251
Yeah, that's a different kind of cruise.

1255
00:58:21,091 --> 00:58:27,211
No, because my general manager, when people started screaming, would start throwing people off.

1256
00:58:28,031 --> 00:58:32,491
But it would be actors from our cruise line.

1257
00:58:32,971 --> 00:58:37,131
So someone would start the screaming and be like, oh my God, they took us out in the middle of the air.

1258
00:58:37,231 --> 00:58:41,091
And he would throw that person who was an actor into the ocean.

1259
00:58:41,451 --> 00:58:42,851
And then everyone would shut up.

1260
00:58:42,851 --> 00:58:50,591
and the general manager would be like see oh you know what i would do i would pick one

1261
00:58:50,591 --> 00:58:57,951
i would do the same thing have like an actor whatever and or but i would say i would put

1262
00:58:57,951 --> 00:59:02,491
them into like a tank and be like every time someone freaks out about water this person who

1263
00:59:02,491 --> 00:59:07,911
is also freaked out about water we're gonna add a little bit of water to this tank that he's in

1264
00:59:07,911 --> 00:59:13,611
and so you control whether or not this guy drowns so you're basically doing a milgram

1265
00:59:13,611 --> 00:59:19,811
experiment on your cruise ship yeah that's right okay well it'd be like hey nope no freaking out

1266
00:59:19,811 --> 00:59:23,271
because if you freak out this guy dies and he's just as scared as water so you're gonna be yeah

1267
00:59:23,271 --> 00:59:27,111
why should you be why should you get to be scared without repercussions more than him right exactly

1268
00:59:27,111 --> 00:59:33,231
so as long as hey as long as everyone keeps their cool everybody wins and there's coupons

1269
00:59:33,231 --> 00:59:34,671
for activities.

1270
00:59:35,651 --> 00:59:37,011
Yes. Take a deep breath.

1271
00:59:37,191 --> 00:59:38,151
This guy might die.

1272
00:59:38,951 --> 00:59:40,031
There are coupons.

1273
00:59:40,991 --> 00:59:42,831
I like the idea of throwing one of them off.

1274
00:59:43,251 --> 00:59:45,391
Yeah, that's good. Because then he could swim around

1275
00:59:45,391 --> 00:59:46,691
and one of us could pull him up.

1276
00:59:48,511 --> 00:59:49,171
But then

1277
00:59:49,171 --> 00:59:51,291
if they see him again, does that

1278
00:59:51,291 --> 00:59:53,071
ruin the legitimacy of the

1279
00:59:53,071 --> 00:59:54,271
ruse?

1280
00:59:55,231 --> 00:59:57,211
They won't see him again because he

1281
00:59:57,211 --> 00:59:59,111
was wearing one of those silicone masks

1282
00:59:59,111 --> 01:00:00,211
where he looked like a different person.

1283
01:00:01,071 --> 01:00:02,171
Okay, good.

1284
01:00:02,171 --> 01:00:04,911
Anyway, yeah, people will definitely come back to it.

1285
01:00:04,911 --> 01:00:08,231
Because once they realize nothing bad happened, except one guy was thrown off.

1286
01:00:08,591 --> 01:00:10,131
But that was his fault for Scream.

1287
01:00:10,151 --> 01:00:10,691
That was his fault.

1288
01:00:10,771 --> 01:00:13,691
But once they realized, as soon as they got control of their fears, everything was fine.

1289
01:00:13,731 --> 01:00:14,191
They had a great time.

1290
01:00:14,431 --> 01:00:15,291
They saw paintings.

1291
01:00:15,431 --> 01:00:16,211
They pet animals.

1292
01:00:16,431 --> 01:00:20,151
They were herded around every side of the ship.

1293
01:00:20,411 --> 01:00:21,371
They had a great time.

1294
01:00:21,611 --> 01:00:23,071
They climbed down into a Lucite.

1295
01:00:26,191 --> 01:00:26,591
Wonderland.

1296
01:00:27,631 --> 01:00:27,871
Yep.

1297
01:00:27,871 --> 01:00:34,931
well uh i think yeah i think i've answered the big question sounds like all you did

1298
01:00:34,931 --> 01:00:41,711
that was a real slim gem of an answer to that wraps up the big question the big question

1299
01:00:41,711 --> 01:00:46,491
uh now the moment you've been waiting for francis is it bejangled

1300
01:00:46,491 --> 01:00:55,491
is your fucking word bejangled my word is not oh thank god i've never heard the word

1301
01:00:55,491 --> 01:00:56,971
bejangled before my... It's not a real word.

1302
01:00:57,351 --> 01:01:00,171
It's not a word. I just, as soon as I said it, I'm like...

1303
01:01:00,171 --> 01:01:01,711
Because I said it in a way that was like

1304
01:01:01,711 --> 01:01:03,351
bejangled, I was like, no!

1305
01:01:05,051 --> 01:01:05,371
Nope.

1306
01:01:05,711 --> 01:01:06,851
She got me to say a weird one.

1307
01:01:07,111 --> 01:01:09,191
Alright, do you want me to start making some guesses then? Yes.

1308
01:01:10,671 --> 01:01:11,031
Alright.

1309
01:01:13,171 --> 01:01:13,951
We're going to hold off

1310
01:01:13,951 --> 01:01:15,571
on the C word, because I don't know what to do with that one.

1311
01:01:18,131 --> 01:01:18,831
Could be nothing.

1312
01:01:19,431 --> 01:01:21,151
Yeah, sure. It's something.

1313
01:01:22,211 --> 01:01:23,151
Could it be custom?

1314
01:01:24,311 --> 01:01:24,631
No.

1315
01:01:25,491 --> 01:01:26,851
I wrote down mugshot.

1316
01:01:27,911 --> 01:01:28,271
Nope.

1317
01:01:31,151 --> 01:01:32,091
Is it lucite?

1318
01:01:33,951 --> 01:01:34,471
No.

1319
01:01:34,791 --> 01:01:36,471
Oh, you puffed up for me.

1320
01:01:36,471 --> 01:01:36,711
Yeah.

1321
01:01:37,071 --> 01:01:37,371
Maybe.

1322
01:01:38,931 --> 01:01:39,451
Demystify.

1323
01:01:40,731 --> 01:01:41,251
Nope.

1324
01:01:45,291 --> 01:01:46,651
We've got one word left.

1325
01:01:46,991 --> 01:01:48,191
And we both know what it is.

1326
01:01:49,191 --> 01:01:51,271
We both know what it is.

1327
01:01:51,851 --> 01:01:53,411
And I don't know what to do with it, Jenna.

1328
01:01:53,411 --> 01:01:59,971
was it your decoy word because i know it's one of the two were you decoying me

1329
01:01:59,971 --> 01:02:04,271
so what's what do i do decoy

1330
01:02:04,271 --> 01:02:12,231
another another oh he's the best listener listener cut you're gonna have to listen to a different

1331
01:02:12,231 --> 01:02:17,251
episode okay because here's what i'm struggling with right now if i just don't say anything i'm

1332
01:02:17,251 --> 01:02:18,851
fine. I didn't say this.

1333
01:02:19,851 --> 01:02:20,171
Okay.

1334
01:02:21,691 --> 01:02:23,231
But I feel like you

1335
01:02:23,231 --> 01:02:25,191
closed the gap last week and maybe I should

1336
01:02:25,191 --> 01:02:25,671
be bold.

1337
01:02:28,811 --> 01:02:30,911
Now you're describing how gambling works.

1338
01:02:32,671 --> 01:02:34,031
You said it.

1339
01:02:34,731 --> 01:02:37,091
Were you trying? What were you doing? What was your

1340
01:02:37,091 --> 01:02:39,011
motivation, girl? Is your decoy word chronology?

1341
01:02:41,411 --> 01:02:43,191
What's your official guess

1342
01:02:43,191 --> 01:02:44,891
is my decoy word chronology.

1343
01:02:45,951 --> 01:02:46,951
I just want to make sure.

1344
01:02:47,251 --> 01:02:57,831
um it's your word isn't it i need to know what your official word you're guessing that is my word

1345
01:02:57,831 --> 01:03:14,931
yeah it's my d call me no no no no i can't believe i talked to you you really led the witness on that

1346
01:03:14,931 --> 01:03:15,811
I'm effing pissed.

1347
01:03:15,811 --> 01:03:19,231
I gave him an, I said, what is your final answer?

1348
01:03:19,471 --> 01:03:20,711
Why would you do that?

1349
01:03:21,231 --> 01:03:23,151
Because you were going to guess my decoy word.

1350
01:03:23,331 --> 01:03:24,371
You're a demon from hell.

1351
01:03:26,471 --> 01:03:26,911
Fudge.

1352
01:03:28,251 --> 01:03:28,691
Yay.

1353
01:03:29,671 --> 01:03:30,131
God.

1354
01:03:30,271 --> 01:03:31,471
No, no.

1355
01:03:32,411 --> 01:03:33,411
Sorry, Francis.

1356
01:03:34,271 --> 01:03:35,011
You don't look sorry.

1357
01:03:35,451 --> 01:03:36,011
No, I'm not.

1358
01:03:36,071 --> 01:03:36,431
I'm sorry.

1359
01:03:36,511 --> 01:03:38,091
I mean, I'm not sorry, really.

1360
01:03:38,091 --> 01:03:38,711
I'm happy.

1361
01:03:38,711 --> 01:03:41,331
I thought you were slipping it.

1362
01:03:41,471 --> 01:03:42,871
I thought you said it so awkwardly.

1363
01:03:43,611 --> 01:03:44,411
I don't care anymore.

1364
01:03:44,931 --> 01:03:47,691
at least it wasn't be jangled

1365
01:03:47,691 --> 01:03:49,571
I guess

1366
01:03:49,571 --> 01:03:52,171
that was a humiliating

1367
01:03:52,171 --> 01:03:52,611
loss

1368
01:03:52,611 --> 01:03:55,871
well alright well let me see if I can

1369
01:03:55,871 --> 01:03:58,211
do any damage to you

1370
01:03:58,211 --> 01:03:59,651
you mean more

1371
01:03:59,651 --> 01:04:01,811
yeah do more damage

1372
01:04:01,811 --> 01:04:05,651
I didn't I don't have very

1373
01:04:05,651 --> 01:04:07,891
I don't feel confident about any of my guesses

1374
01:04:07,891 --> 01:04:09,491
shit

1375
01:04:09,491 --> 01:04:11,831
was it tour de force

1376
01:04:11,831 --> 01:04:13,471
no

1377
01:04:13,471 --> 01:04:13,811
no

1378
01:04:13,811 --> 01:04:18,611
portholes

1379
01:04:18,611 --> 01:04:24,331
or porthole

1380
01:04:24,331 --> 01:04:26,031
I couldn't remember which one you said

1381
01:04:26,031 --> 01:04:28,671
it's a funny word to just hear

1382
01:04:28,671 --> 01:04:33,091
I have two guesses for your decoy

1383
01:04:33,091 --> 01:04:35,071
alright let's hear them

1384
01:04:35,071 --> 01:04:36,531
eclipse

1385
01:04:36,531 --> 01:04:39,991
I thought that would have been really good

1386
01:04:39,991 --> 01:04:41,971
when you were like eclipse room

1387
01:04:42,611 --> 01:04:44,231
What's the word I'm thinking of?

1388
01:04:44,551 --> 01:04:46,411
Oh, no, I was genuinely stupid.

1389
01:04:48,031 --> 01:04:50,351
And then my other guess would be chemistry?

1390
01:04:51,231 --> 01:04:51,531
No.

1391
01:04:51,931 --> 01:04:52,331
Okay.

1392
01:04:52,831 --> 01:04:54,391
All right, let's start with my decoy word.

1393
01:04:56,271 --> 01:04:56,751
Extradited.

1394
01:04:59,291 --> 01:05:00,891
We're going to extradite them from prison.

1395
01:05:01,391 --> 01:05:01,991
Oh, yeah.

1396
01:05:03,231 --> 01:05:04,911
Now let's get to the good stuff.

1397
01:05:05,431 --> 01:05:06,931
My word was...

1398
01:05:06,931 --> 01:05:07,911
Oh, God, it's...

1399
01:05:07,911 --> 01:05:10,731
Did I say it a whole bunch of times, whatever it is?

1400
01:05:10,731 --> 01:05:13,671
I honestly don't remember when you said

1401
01:05:13,671 --> 01:05:16,571
I honestly don't remember when you said your word

1402
01:05:16,571 --> 01:05:20,411
you don't?

1403
01:05:20,671 --> 01:05:21,071
no

1404
01:05:21,071 --> 01:05:24,971
what was your word?

1405
01:05:26,811 --> 01:05:27,911
Francis I'm sorry

1406
01:05:27,911 --> 01:05:29,951
no I just realized I didn't say it

1407
01:05:29,951 --> 01:05:33,111
I realized I thought it was a different word

1408
01:05:33,111 --> 01:05:36,171
star word

1409
01:05:36,171 --> 01:05:36,691
I did

1410
01:05:36,691 --> 01:05:38,191
Francie

1411
01:05:38,191 --> 01:05:39,131
I thought it was star word

1412
01:05:39,131 --> 01:05:42,731
oh francy i'm so sorry does anyone have a gun

1413
01:05:42,731 --> 01:05:49,991
and i was so excited i said starboard i got you to say starboard because i thought that was my word

1414
01:05:49,991 --> 01:05:59,571
what was your word seaboard seaboard seaboard is that why you said something about it was a big

1415
01:05:59,571 --> 01:06:11,971
question about a cruise just so you could get yeah oh man oh i'm sorry you don't even get the

1416
01:06:11,971 --> 01:06:23,431
one point for wow i can't believe this i'm sorry now i am sorry i feel bad for you

1417
01:06:23,431 --> 01:06:26,511
I'm net two on this one now

1418
01:06:26,511 --> 01:06:27,391
cool

1419
01:06:27,391 --> 01:06:29,751
that's been our show

1420
01:06:29,751 --> 01:06:36,871
wait how was I net two

1421
01:06:36,871 --> 01:06:38,331
oh I didn't tell you what my

1422
01:06:38,331 --> 01:06:39,931
real word was

1423
01:06:39,931 --> 01:06:40,431
I don't care

1424
01:06:40,431 --> 01:06:43,951
news stands

1425
01:06:43,951 --> 01:06:47,591
I don't feel better

1426
01:06:47,591 --> 01:06:51,391
I don't even remember that coming up

1427
01:06:51,391 --> 01:06:51,771
yeah

1428
01:06:51,771 --> 01:06:52,971
I said

1429
01:06:52,971 --> 01:06:54,451
it's also in prison penbells

1430
01:06:54,451 --> 01:06:55,191
prison penbells

1431
01:06:55,191 --> 01:06:55,491
I said

1432
01:06:55,491 --> 01:06:56,371
don't

1433
01:06:56,371 --> 01:06:56,911
go to

1434
01:06:56,911 --> 01:07:00,171
don't go looking at newsstands

1435
01:07:00,171 --> 01:07:01,571
don't go reading stories

1436
01:07:01,571 --> 01:07:02,811
I can't believe

1437
01:07:02,811 --> 01:07:03,731
I did this

1438
01:07:03,731 --> 01:07:04,351
again

1439
01:07:04,351 --> 01:07:05,471
ugh

1440
01:07:05,471 --> 01:07:07,291
I'm sorry Francis

1441
01:07:07,291 --> 01:07:09,391
but

1442
01:07:09,391 --> 01:07:11,651
not that sorry

1443
01:07:11,651 --> 01:07:13,611
I'm making up ground

1444
01:07:13,611 --> 01:07:15,611
I have to double check

1445
01:07:15,611 --> 01:07:16,691
I think you're winning now

1446
01:07:16,691 --> 01:07:17,411
there's a chance

1447
01:07:17,411 --> 01:07:18,871
is it even worth it for me to go on

1448
01:07:18,871 --> 01:07:20,531
yes

1449
01:07:20,531 --> 01:07:20,951
because if

1450
01:07:20,951 --> 01:07:21,651
if I am winning

1451
01:07:21,651 --> 01:07:22,831
is by like one point.

1452
01:07:23,451 --> 01:07:25,171
You were very far ahead.

1453
01:07:26,491 --> 01:07:27,791
I don't like feeling like an idiot.

1454
01:07:28,271 --> 01:07:28,471
Well.

1455
01:07:29,751 --> 01:07:30,871
I feel great.

1456
01:07:31,531 --> 01:07:32,011
Bye.