1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:18,460
joe can i please get a suggestion for some improv

2
00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:23,620
laundered laundered

3
00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:32,180
money laundering sounds like the coolest uh like there's something about it sounds so cool to me

4
00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:36,560
like i remember hearing about it and being like yeah like that's like the real criminals money

5
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:41,500
launder yeah that's the last step before it's before you can do whatever you want with it

6
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:47,840
yeah exciting step but then when you find out like i never thought of it as actually like

7
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:54,280
washing money i thought it was like i don't know like cooler than it actually is like no you just

8
00:00:54,280 --> 00:01:00,500
hide it you just have a business that you filter money it's just more work it's more work i wanted

9
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:05,840
to work i wouldn't have done this criminal enterprise i know if i wanted to like buy a

10
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:12,640
small gift shop in the mall i would have just done that yeah jenna's dundies

11
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:24,100
llc yep yep llc i'd buy from your gift shop thank you um i appreciate that

12
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:29,600
you're welcome uh what what's your favorite kind of gift to buy

13
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:34,580
it's hard for me to answer that question here's what i'll tell you yeah i think you know this

14
00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:36,140
about me already. I love

15
00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:38,120
L-O-V-E, love

16
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,460
a airport souvenir shop.

17
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,200
I bought some less

18
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,020
useless crap from those stores.

19
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,720
When I find a good souvenir shop at the

20
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:47,100
airport.

21
00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:50,160
They're all the same now, I feel like.

22
00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:51,860
No. No? No.

23
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,460
Such variety. Really? There's some that are, it's like,

24
00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:56,460
okay. I feel like it's all kind of like

25
00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:58,500
the Hudson News kind of, right? You get a bunch

26
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,720
of t-shirts, maybe some shot glasses.

27
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:02,440
Nope. There's a store

28
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,340
in the Seattle mall. I mean, airport.

29
00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:06,900
that is like,

30
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,000
it goes,

31
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,960
you reach the end and you turn and there's more.

32
00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:11,560
What?

33
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:11,920
Yeah.

34
00:02:11,980 --> 00:02:14,920
I wish I could take you there someday.

35
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:15,780
Yeah.

36
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:16,460
Bucket list.

37
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,120
Oh yeah.

38
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,160
That's one of the things I want to do before I die.

39
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,000
Go to the Seattle airport gift shop.

40
00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:24,060
You joke,

41
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,880
but do you remember like,

42
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,060
is it a specific terminal?

43
00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:30,500
Like what if I could get you there?

44
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:31,140
Okay.

45
00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:31,800
Yeah.

46
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:32,460
Yeah.

47
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:33,440
I always find it.

48
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:41,840
They have like weird kitchen stuff, cookbooks, interesting cookbooks, pens that say things on them.

49
00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:43,000
Seattle related?

50
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,840
No, sometimes, sometimes they sell scarves.

51
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,900
This sounds like your room of requirement.

52
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:55,020
Like whenever you need the Seattle airport gift shop, it just appears and it moves.

53
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,120
It changes stock.

54
00:02:56,380 --> 00:02:57,160
It finds you.

55
00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:58,320
I love that idea.

56
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:00,200
And magnets.

57
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,780
well that magnets is standard gift shop fair

58
00:03:03,780 --> 00:03:07,020
only thing my one complaint is it has children's stuff get that out of there

59
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,280
yeah more adult stuff please kids don't need

60
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:23,129
crap yeah go sit in the airport chilies and shut up yeah then that chili to go and just shut up And then you go Yeah And now improv

61
00:03:28,829 --> 00:03:29,989
Oh, crap.

62
00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:32,829
I forgot my phone charger.

63
00:03:33,389 --> 00:03:34,089
Ah, shit.

64
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,049
USB-C?

65
00:03:37,069 --> 00:03:38,249
Oh, hi.

66
00:03:38,749 --> 00:03:39,169
Hey.

67
00:03:39,789 --> 00:03:41,049
Where did you come from?

68
00:03:41,049 --> 00:03:42,549
I've been waiting.

69
00:03:42,809 --> 00:03:45,309
I've been around the corner.

70
00:03:45,709 --> 00:03:46,069
What?

71
00:03:46,589 --> 00:03:47,649
For years.

72
00:03:48,249 --> 00:03:53,069
I needed a USB-C charger, and then you're standing, you're just a stranger here.

73
00:03:53,069 --> 00:03:53,649
I'm not a stranger.

74
00:03:53,909 --> 00:03:55,329
I know you intimately.

75
00:03:56,709 --> 00:04:00,929
That sounds a little weird, but, I mean, my flight's delayed.

76
00:04:01,029 --> 00:04:01,909
I've got some time.

77
00:04:02,429 --> 00:04:04,049
I want to hear more about this.

78
00:04:04,469 --> 00:04:04,609
Why?

79
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:05,049
How?

80
00:04:05,609 --> 00:04:07,089
You weren't here a second ago.

81
00:04:07,089 --> 00:04:07,549
I was.

82
00:04:07,669 --> 00:04:10,149
I was listening in the walls.

83
00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:14,969
Okay, this seems a little...

84
00:04:14,969 --> 00:04:17,029
Are you like an airport weirdo?

85
00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:18,709
Can I offer you a snow globe?

86
00:04:20,049 --> 00:04:21,029
Ooh, look at this one.

87
00:04:21,569 --> 00:04:23,029
Turn that, turn that. Let me show you what happens.

88
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:23,449
Turn that.

89
00:04:24,189 --> 00:04:27,809
Oh, there's music in this one.

90
00:04:27,829 --> 00:04:28,509
Oh, shh, you're ruining it.

91
00:04:28,889 --> 00:04:29,569
Oh, sorry.

92
00:04:31,969 --> 00:04:32,909
You like that?

93
00:04:33,609 --> 00:04:34,949
Well, I do, actually.

94
00:04:34,949 --> 00:04:36,149
I need something for my niece.

95
00:04:36,249 --> 00:04:37,429
I forgot to get her something.

96
00:04:37,429 --> 00:04:38,889
Only one of three million.

97
00:04:38,889 --> 00:04:47,969
that that rare yeah yeah i saved it for you wow what wait i'm sorry i'm still hung up on this

98
00:04:47,969 --> 00:04:56,469
you say you know me of course you're you're a frequent traveler i know i know i i mean i come

99
00:04:56,469 --> 00:05:01,949
in and out of the boston airport like in and out of logan all the time yeah i've never seen you

100
00:05:01,949 --> 00:05:08,049
before well i you look i mean you look like you're an employee here yeah that's what i am i work here

101
00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:10,649
but you know me specifically.

102
00:05:10,809 --> 00:05:12,809
You must see thousands of people a day.

103
00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:19,189
You didn't know that every airport employee is assigned 10,000 travelers,

104
00:05:19,749 --> 00:05:21,769
and it's my job to know you?

105
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,249
No, I had no idea.

106
00:05:24,429 --> 00:05:25,389
Yeah, Susan.

107
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,629
Yeah, it is Susan.

108
00:05:28,809 --> 00:05:31,449
Yeah, Susan Rachel Fanuja.

109
00:05:32,109 --> 00:05:34,089
Susan Rachel Fanuja, yes.

110
00:05:34,089 --> 00:05:35,229
Yeah, I know.

111
00:05:35,929 --> 00:05:40,389
Okay, did you just see my ID when I went through security?

112
00:05:41,289 --> 00:05:45,109
If I just saw your ID, how would I know that you like the aisle seat?

113
00:05:45,969 --> 00:05:47,609
Okay, well, everybody likes the aisle seat.

114
00:05:47,689 --> 00:05:48,529
That's a good guess.

115
00:05:50,069 --> 00:05:52,309
Okay, Miss Cranapple, no ice.

116
00:05:53,249 --> 00:05:54,669
Oh, whoa, okay.

117
00:05:55,709 --> 00:05:56,149
Ah.

118
00:05:57,529 --> 00:05:57,969
Okay.

119
00:05:58,889 --> 00:05:59,809
That's a little weird.

120
00:05:59,869 --> 00:06:00,569
That's a little weird, right?

121
00:06:00,629 --> 00:06:01,329
That's a little weird.

122
00:06:01,329 --> 00:06:04,889
How would I know that unless I, Jacob.

123
00:06:06,149 --> 00:06:06,669
Jacob.

124
00:06:06,789 --> 00:06:07,849
Okay, nice to meet you.

125
00:06:09,389 --> 00:06:13,229
Okay, so you have 10,000 other.

126
00:06:13,589 --> 00:06:15,509
No, I have 9,999.

127
00:06:16,369 --> 00:06:17,489
Okay, yes.

128
00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:18,749
All right, very good.

129
00:06:18,889 --> 00:06:21,309
But you're my whole world right now.

130
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:26,069
The other 9,999 don't come through Logan?

131
00:06:26,989 --> 00:06:27,509
Sometimes.

132
00:06:28,309 --> 00:06:39,498
But I the only one here right now The only one here right now This is Isn that amazing We gotta get you a hat Oh okay Here it is The perfect hat

133
00:06:40,278 --> 00:06:41,138
Holy cow.

134
00:06:41,258 --> 00:06:42,278
I heart Logan.

135
00:06:44,078 --> 00:06:45,098
This is amazing.

136
00:06:45,258 --> 00:06:46,678
A hat's never looked good on me.

137
00:06:46,758 --> 00:06:48,598
This hat looks really good on me.

138
00:06:48,698 --> 00:06:49,218
I made it.

139
00:06:49,758 --> 00:06:50,118
Jacob.

140
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:50,798
Yeah.

141
00:06:50,798 --> 00:06:51,058
Really?

142
00:06:51,518 --> 00:06:51,758
Yeah.

143
00:06:51,838 --> 00:06:53,618
I have a little mannequin head.

144
00:06:54,618 --> 00:06:56,218
And I took a class.

145
00:06:56,338 --> 00:06:58,778
It's required to work here.

146
00:06:58,778 --> 00:07:00,398
You have to take a class?

147
00:07:00,638 --> 00:07:02,858
I have to make hats, aprons, magnets.

148
00:07:04,078 --> 00:07:08,158
Okay, well, I got time, Jacob, as I'm sure you know.

149
00:07:08,278 --> 00:07:08,558
Oh, yeah.

150
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:11,278
I know the exact moment we have to stop talking.

151
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,678
Can you show me?

152
00:07:15,238 --> 00:07:17,938
Do you have your own personal store for me?

153
00:07:19,518 --> 00:07:20,918
Can I see it?

154
00:07:21,158 --> 00:07:23,058
You're the only person who's ever asked.

155
00:07:23,998 --> 00:07:26,278
Am I the only person that's ever known about you?

156
00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:26,818
Yes.

157
00:07:26,818 --> 00:07:28,898
No one ever says, I need something.

158
00:07:30,398 --> 00:07:31,458
Hold my hand.

159
00:07:31,598 --> 00:07:31,918
Hold my hand.

160
00:07:31,938 --> 00:07:32,438
I'm going to take you there.

161
00:07:32,918 --> 00:07:33,138
Oh.

162
00:07:33,638 --> 00:07:34,138
Let's skip.

163
00:07:34,158 --> 00:07:35,238
It's warm and a little damp.

164
00:07:35,338 --> 00:07:36,718
It's because I'm nervous and happy.

165
00:07:37,618 --> 00:07:38,638
Also, that's just how it is.

166
00:07:39,778 --> 00:07:40,258
That's okay.

167
00:07:40,298 --> 00:07:40,958
I'm not judging you.

168
00:07:41,158 --> 00:07:42,218
It was just a comment.

169
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:43,198
Let's go to your store, Jenna.

170
00:07:43,798 --> 00:07:44,238
Let's go.

171
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:44,758
Let's go to your store.

172
00:07:45,478 --> 00:07:46,018
Look me in the eyes.

173
00:07:46,058 --> 00:07:47,258
It's Susan Rachel Finuja.

174
00:07:50,458 --> 00:07:52,178
Yeah, but all your closest friends.

175
00:07:53,238 --> 00:07:53,798
That's true.

176
00:07:54,078 --> 00:07:54,278
Yeah.

177
00:07:55,118 --> 00:07:56,638
Because you ate your twin in utero.

178
00:07:56,638 --> 00:07:57,358
How would I know that?

179
00:07:57,478 --> 00:07:59,138
Oh my god, how did you know that?

180
00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:02,238
And my mom was going to name the twin Jenna.

181
00:08:02,578 --> 00:08:03,018
I know.

182
00:08:03,298 --> 00:08:06,318
And so now a little bit of me is like...

183
00:08:06,318 --> 00:08:06,878
A lot of you.

184
00:08:07,078 --> 00:08:08,238
Oh, oh my god.

185
00:08:08,538 --> 00:08:08,898
All right.

186
00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:11,058
I'm ready to skip to my store now.

187
00:08:12,298 --> 00:08:12,778
Here we go.

188
00:08:14,218 --> 00:08:14,578
Yay!

189
00:08:15,298 --> 00:08:15,998
Oh, sorry.

190
00:08:16,178 --> 00:08:17,018
It's a published space.

191
00:08:17,078 --> 00:08:18,358
Sorry, that's what I do when I skip.

192
00:08:18,578 --> 00:08:18,698
Yeah.

193
00:08:18,838 --> 00:08:19,438
I'm so sorry.

194
00:08:20,098 --> 00:08:21,138
All right, we're here.

195
00:08:21,538 --> 00:08:22,038
Close your eyes.

196
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:23,298
Okay, they're closed.

197
00:08:23,578 --> 00:08:25,138
Think of heaven.

198
00:08:25,858 --> 00:08:26,378
Okay.

199
00:08:26,638 --> 00:08:27,438
I'm going to open the doors.

200
00:08:27,918 --> 00:08:28,418
They're glass.

201
00:08:29,138 --> 00:08:29,398
Ooh.

202
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:32,338
Look.

203
00:08:33,778 --> 00:08:35,318
Oh, my God.

204
00:08:35,378 --> 00:08:36,118
Oh, wow.

205
00:08:36,938 --> 00:08:39,178
Oh, my God.

206
00:08:39,698 --> 00:08:40,258
Wow.

207
00:08:41,098 --> 00:08:42,018
I know you're crying.

208
00:08:42,558 --> 00:08:44,158
You're crying, Rachel.

209
00:08:44,978 --> 00:08:46,418
This is better than heaven.

210
00:08:46,578 --> 00:08:47,538
This is...

211
00:08:47,538 --> 00:08:48,478
That's what it's called.

212
00:08:49,178 --> 00:08:49,958
Better than heaven?

213
00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:50,298
Yeah.

214
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:53,918
This is everything I didn't know that I needed.

215
00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:56,018
Holy crap.

216
00:08:56,638 --> 00:09:01,118
You like this second hand?

217
00:09:03,338 --> 00:09:03,818
Yes.

218
00:09:04,158 --> 00:09:05,898
It attaches at the wrist to your other hand.

219
00:09:06,098 --> 00:09:06,338
Yes.

220
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:07,738
It can grab things up to five pounds.

221
00:09:07,878 --> 00:09:08,378
Thank you.

222
00:09:08,538 --> 00:09:08,838
Yes.

223
00:09:09,098 --> 00:09:12,218
I am constantly using my left hand.

224
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,618
I'm a lefty, as you know.

225
00:09:13,618 --> 00:09:14,238
As I know, of course.

226
00:09:14,438 --> 00:09:14,518
Yeah.

227
00:09:15,058 --> 00:09:19,078
And I just have to write everything by hand, but then it's like, it doesn't need me time.

228
00:09:19,438 --> 00:09:23,218
Sometimes I need to make notes with hand notes, and I can't type at the same time.

229
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:23,898
Susan, I know.

230
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:27,598
Oh, this is like an invention that I wish somebody had invented.

231
00:09:27,918 --> 00:09:28,098
Yeah.

232
00:09:28,218 --> 00:09:30,818
Did you also wish for your own color of lipstick?

233
00:09:31,478 --> 00:09:32,118
Look at this.

234
00:09:33,018 --> 00:09:33,778
Oh my God.

235
00:09:33,798 --> 00:09:34,778
I have to look at the name.

236
00:09:35,358 --> 00:09:38,018
It's called Susan's fern.

237
00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:44,698
That is exactly the color of my fern at home.

238
00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:45,298
I know.

239
00:09:45,798 --> 00:09:56,967
Sometimes you must know this too I know Sometimes I take the leaves of that fern and I tape it to my lips because I love the color Susan I know

240
00:09:58,367 --> 00:09:59,327
This is unbelievable.

241
00:09:59,687 --> 00:10:00,207
Oh my God.

242
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:00,507
I know.

243
00:10:00,507 --> 00:10:08,767
Is that a full-size wax figure of David Attenborough?

244
00:10:09,607 --> 00:10:10,407
Better.

245
00:10:10,787 --> 00:10:12,567
David Attenborough's brother.

246
00:10:14,287 --> 00:10:15,587
Chris Attenborough.

247
00:10:15,987 --> 00:10:16,387
Chris.

248
00:10:16,987 --> 00:10:20,307
the third Attenborough that's the lesser known.

249
00:10:20,427 --> 00:10:21,387
Yeah, this is rare.

250
00:10:21,967 --> 00:10:22,987
He's my favorite.

251
00:10:23,647 --> 00:10:24,047
Attenborough.

252
00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:24,587
I know.

253
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,527
Why am I even telling you these things anymore?

254
00:10:26,527 --> 00:10:28,467
If you want to take this home, though, it can't go on the plane.

255
00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:29,567
I can have it shipped to you, though.

256
00:10:29,987 --> 00:10:31,747
I'm a certified DOT shipper.

257
00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:33,287
It's a requirement of the airport.

258
00:10:34,747 --> 00:10:39,167
I got to tell you, I always thought airports were just kind of a pain in the ass.

259
00:10:39,287 --> 00:10:39,567
Oh, no.

260
00:10:40,987 --> 00:10:42,167
This is unbelievable.

261
00:10:42,827 --> 00:10:44,307
I can break up with someone for you.

262
00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:47,207
I'm a certified relationship expert

263
00:10:47,207 --> 00:10:49,287
and therapist.

264
00:10:50,907 --> 00:10:51,927
Can you do it right now?

265
00:10:52,007 --> 00:10:53,407
If I get Jeffrey on the phone.

266
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:56,307
This has been such a long time coming

267
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:57,727
and I just don't know how to do it.

268
00:10:57,827 --> 00:10:58,227
No, it's okay.

269
00:10:58,267 --> 00:10:59,787
I have a clone phone of yours.

270
00:10:59,887 --> 00:11:00,847
You don't need to give me that.

271
00:11:00,967 --> 00:11:01,207
Hold on.

272
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:02,107
I'll call him.

273
00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:03,827
All right.

274
00:11:05,647 --> 00:11:06,307
Is it ringing?

275
00:11:06,447 --> 00:11:06,807
It's ringing.

276
00:11:07,407 --> 00:11:09,107
He always waits until the last second.

277
00:11:09,227 --> 00:11:09,707
It's a real asshole.

278
00:11:11,227 --> 00:11:11,587
Jeffrey?

279
00:11:12,947 --> 00:11:13,307
Speaking.

280
00:11:13,307 --> 00:11:14,827
she's done bro

281
00:11:14,827 --> 00:11:17,887
what? Susan Rachel?

282
00:11:18,207 --> 00:11:19,847
Susan Rachel Fudnucha

283
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,707
she's gone

284
00:11:21,707 --> 00:11:22,847
how's he taking it?

285
00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:24,647
he's not crying at all do you want him to cry?

286
00:11:24,827 --> 00:11:25,627
I want him to cry a little

287
00:11:25,627 --> 00:11:27,847
she never loved you

288
00:11:27,847 --> 00:11:30,027
hold on let me put this on speaker

289
00:11:30,027 --> 00:11:33,427
okay not quite that much love

290
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:34,647
don't kill yourself click

291
00:11:34,647 --> 00:11:36,567
whoa

292
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:39,367
hot right? that was amazing

293
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,207
I know

294
00:11:40,207 --> 00:11:48,307
can can you call somebody else for me yeah i'm certified well can you call

295
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:55,307
can you call okay it's my dog walker oh they're gonna say your dog i was like oof

296
00:11:55,307 --> 00:12:04,907
no no no i'm certified jacob don't stop jacob uh your dog walker yeah yeah can you call my dog

297
00:12:04,907 --> 00:12:12,527
walker just i i gotta i if you would just tell him i'm doing a really great job i feel intimidated

298
00:12:12,527 --> 00:12:18,867
every time she's around are you gonna buy something in here or not jacob i'm a real person i got sales

299
00:12:18,867 --> 00:12:25,267
quotas to meet call jeffrey call my dog walker talk about fern i'm so sorry jacob i didn't think

300
00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:31,307
about you do you need me to call anybody for you oh it's a little late for that i'm going i'm going

301
00:12:31,307 --> 00:12:33,387
in the back room. It's a tiny room

302
00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:34,287
just so you know.

303
00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:37,007
I hate you.

304
00:12:37,427 --> 00:12:37,787
No!

305
00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,447
No, but I need a scarf! No, Jacob,

306
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:41,687
no!

307
00:12:44,327 --> 00:12:45,347
All boarding

308
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,307
for a tentative, for a tentative.

309
00:12:48,407 --> 00:12:49,107
Thank you.

310
00:12:51,027 --> 00:12:51,787
End scene.

311
00:13:01,307 --> 00:13:01,807
you