1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:18,600
Joe, may we please have a suggestion for our improv?

2
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,060
Thank you, Joe.

3
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:21,980
Surgeries.

4
00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:24,220
Surgeries.

5
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:24,780
Surgeries.

6
00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:24,920
Surgeries.

7
00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:25,440
Hmm.

8
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:36,600
you ever had a broken bone jenna um i broke my jaw sometime when i was a kid

9
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:44,580
oh my god which is like but i didn't know it was broken um yeah it was like one of those things i

10
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:51,280
didn't tell anybody that i was in pain uh well because i was like it was somewhere around the

11
00:00:51,280 --> 00:01:00,880
time when i was 10 um i was a secret time it was a tough kid yeah so did it grow all weird yeah it

12
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:06,640
did that's how they knew it broke because like later i i went and got x-rays and it was like

13
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:12,880
it stopped developing on one side like on that side so like i can pop my jaw in and out um

14
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:19,800
oh that is bonus content for sure sorry i don't know if that pop picked up on the mic

15
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:20,540
I'll have it picked up.

16
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:21,020
Okay.

17
00:01:22,780 --> 00:01:23,460
But, yeah.

18
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:25,060
So, I did, yeah, that.

19
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,280
But I don't know if that really counts if you're not, like, in it in the moment, right?

20
00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:29,560
What do you mean?

21
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:29,720
What are you saying?

22
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,320
Like, if it's broken in retrospect, does that count?

23
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,020
Of course it counts.

24
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:33,940
It's broken.

25
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:34,940
Wear it as a badge of honor.

26
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:35,680
Okay.

27
00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:36,340
Well, I...

28
00:01:36,340 --> 00:01:37,320
Sorry.

29
00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:38,600
I'm not.

30
00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:40,700
Have you ever broken a bone?

31
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:41,640
Yeah.

32
00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:43,100
Ooh, what'd you break?

33
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:46,100
I cracked my head open and I...

34
00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:46,860
Oh, that bone.

35
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:47,880
The big bone.

36
00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:48,160
Yeah.

37
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:49,120
Big round bone.

38
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:49,800
Oh, geez.

39
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:50,600
Yeah, I almost died.

40
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:51,880
No.

41
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:52,580
What happened?

42
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:54,840
I tripped over a dog.

43
00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:55,740
Ah.

44
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,920
We were running parallel to each other.

45
00:01:58,340 --> 00:01:59,280
No, perpendicular.

46
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:03,060
And I just hit her, and I tumbled.

47
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:06,080
And then we had a sidewalk in my backyard, and I hid it right on the corner.

48
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,980
And I, like, got up in a daze, and I was like, ugh.

49
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:11,080
How old were you?

50
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:13,380
I don't know.

51
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,460
Seven or eight?

52
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:17,300
That part of my life is gone now.

53
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:23,460
yeah but like paramedics came to get me yeah and they were like wrapping i remember they cut my

54
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:27,500
shirt off my favorite shirt i know and they were like wrapped my head and like they're gonna put

55
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:32,860
me in the ambulance and my dad like rolled up right at that time i was like no get him out of

56
00:02:32,860 --> 00:02:38,080
the car and like he wouldn't let me take him to the or he wouldn't let them take me to the hospital

57
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:53,767
why because he didn want to pay for it so he took me he drove me to his friend who was like a general doctor like a PCP And was like he stitched me up while I was like awake Is your friend on was it just is he on PCP

58
00:02:54,767 --> 00:02:56,467
Maybe, it got done pretty fast.

59
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:01,647
Oh, okay.

60
00:03:01,927 --> 00:03:02,547
Yeah, big scar.

61
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,767
Well, you're still here.

62
00:03:05,627 --> 00:03:06,667
Not so much mentally.

63
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:11,227
What if you would be a completely different person if that hadn't happened?

64
00:03:11,447 --> 00:03:12,047
What if I was straight?

65
00:03:12,587 --> 00:03:13,407
Oh my God.

66
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:14,867
Until I hit my head.

67
00:03:15,027 --> 00:03:16,507
The dog knocked you gay.

68
00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:23,927
Okay.

69
00:03:24,387 --> 00:03:26,367
And now, improv.

70
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:34,807
Okay, babe, I know the baby's coming and you're in a lot of pain.

71
00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:43,047
yeah yeah okay cool i got the go bag all ready to go uh you just hop in the car and i'll take

72
00:03:43,047 --> 00:03:50,747
you over to doug's house your your friend doug yeah my friend doug no okay why he's coming to

73
00:03:50,747 --> 00:03:55,207
the hospital no no no no you know we can't afford a hospital you know that

74
00:03:55,207 --> 00:04:01,807
no no they bill you later well yeah well doug will bill us later too it's fine

75
00:04:01,807 --> 00:04:04,367
so wait a minute

76
00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:06,387
I'm gonna put my pain away for a minute

77
00:04:06,387 --> 00:04:09,067
not only do I not get to go to a hospital

78
00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:10,607
I'm gonna go to your friend Doug

79
00:04:10,607 --> 00:04:12,207
and he's gonna charge us

80
00:04:12,207 --> 00:04:14,567
yeah but like a really like he gave us a really

81
00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:16,187
he gave us the friends and family discount

82
00:04:16,187 --> 00:04:19,167
I'm not going to Doug take me to the hospital

83
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:19,567
look

84
00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:21,587
hey look

85
00:04:21,587 --> 00:04:23,307
I'm the man of the house

86
00:04:23,307 --> 00:04:25,607
you just gotta trust me on this one okay

87
00:04:25,607 --> 00:04:28,107
what the hell is that man of the house

88
00:04:28,107 --> 00:04:30,267
I'm sorry I don't mean to get all patriarchal

89
00:04:30,267 --> 00:04:31,047
We're done with all that.

90
00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:32,407
No, we're equals.

91
00:04:32,847 --> 00:04:33,587
Okay, well.

92
00:04:33,667 --> 00:04:34,527
This is my house.

93
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,907
Remember last week you got to pick the movie?

94
00:04:38,127 --> 00:04:39,447
Get the hell out of here.

95
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:45,167
Well, this week I'm invoking my right to choose where you give birth, okay?

96
00:04:45,207 --> 00:04:46,267
You said you liked the movie.

97
00:04:46,507 --> 00:04:47,567
It was fine.

98
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:49,167
It was fine.

99
00:04:49,287 --> 00:04:51,327
I wanted to watch Terminator 2 Judgment Day.

100
00:04:52,087 --> 00:04:53,567
We've seen that a hundred times.

101
00:04:53,887 --> 00:04:54,947
I cannot deal with this right now.

102
00:04:55,147 --> 00:04:56,167
I'm in so much pain.

103
00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:57,227
I'm dizzy.

104
00:04:57,407 --> 00:04:58,067
Okay, that's right.

105
00:04:58,247 --> 00:04:59,307
We don't have time to discuss this.

106
00:04:59,307 --> 00:05:01,327
We'll just head over to my friend Doug's house.

107
00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:01,647
No.

108
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:03,967
Look, he's cool.

109
00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:04,647
Doug sucks.

110
00:05:04,827 --> 00:05:06,707
I'm calling my sister Janune.

111
00:05:08,507 --> 00:05:11,767
Janune already knows about this plan, okay?

112
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,387
I'm sorry.

113
00:05:14,986 --> 00:05:16,467
Sometimes Janune and I talk.

114
00:05:17,407 --> 00:05:18,087
Hold on.

115
00:05:18,207 --> 00:05:18,587
Oh, God.

116
00:05:18,787 --> 00:05:21,747
She agrees that the hospital industrial complex is just,

117
00:05:21,887 --> 00:05:25,267
they're out there trying to, like, extract every last penny from it.

118
00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:37,793
I don want our baby first memory to be an administrative bill from the hospital it won I getting upset the baby doesn even know about a bill Well it doesn for as long as I can help

119
00:05:38,793 --> 00:05:41,513
No, I refuse. I'm putting my foot down.

120
00:05:41,653 --> 00:05:44,193
Oh, I don't feel good. I don't feel good.

121
00:05:44,253 --> 00:05:46,413
All right, we better hurry up. Doug's just around the corner.

122
00:05:46,593 --> 00:05:50,033
No, I'll have this baby in the house before I go to Doug.

123
00:05:51,073 --> 00:05:52,293
All right, Doug can come to us.

124
00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:55,153
No, I don't want Doug. I hate Doug.

125
00:05:55,153 --> 00:05:57,313
Look, I'm prepaid for Doug.

126
00:05:58,093 --> 00:05:58,433
All right.

127
00:05:58,593 --> 00:05:59,713
How long have you been talking to Janune?

128
00:06:00,773 --> 00:06:01,593
I don't know.

129
00:06:02,673 --> 00:06:03,533
Since the wedding?

130
00:06:03,653 --> 00:06:04,413
It's normal, right?

131
00:06:04,473 --> 00:06:06,293
I'm friends with your sister.

132
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:06,853
Back it up.

133
00:06:07,013 --> 00:06:07,593
The wedding?

134
00:06:07,853 --> 00:06:09,353
Not in a weird way.

135
00:06:09,493 --> 00:06:10,773
Janune and I are just friends.

136
00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:12,873
I don't know if I want this baby.

137
00:06:13,753 --> 00:06:15,053
Okay, it's a little late for that.

138
00:06:15,233 --> 00:06:16,193
You're making me mad.

139
00:06:16,353 --> 00:06:17,653
Now that I know this baby's half you.

140
00:06:18,433 --> 00:06:19,833
Maruna, listen to me.

141
00:06:22,473 --> 00:06:23,233
Oh, I'm sorry.

142
00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:23,713
I'm just angry.

143
00:06:23,713 --> 00:06:24,753
Look, just trust me, okay?

144
00:06:24,753 --> 00:06:28,533
You trusted me all this time.

145
00:06:29,213 --> 00:06:32,073
Remember when I said, when I proposed to you, and I was like,

146
00:06:32,373 --> 00:06:39,173
I will spend my life making sure everything for you works out

147
00:06:39,173 --> 00:06:40,853
the best of my ability.

148
00:06:40,973 --> 00:06:41,433
It was nice.

149
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:43,473
It seems like a loophole now that I think about it.

150
00:06:43,473 --> 00:06:43,933
No, no, no.

151
00:06:44,173 --> 00:06:45,673
This is me doing that.

152
00:06:46,133 --> 00:06:46,753
Trust me.

153
00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:47,233
I don't know.

154
00:06:47,313 --> 00:06:47,953
I don't trust Doug.

155
00:06:47,953 --> 00:06:48,833
Doug's not a doctor.

156
00:06:49,213 --> 00:06:50,053
Doug is.

157
00:06:50,253 --> 00:06:50,993
Doug's cool.

158
00:06:51,153 --> 00:06:51,433
No, no.

159
00:06:51,553 --> 00:06:51,793
He's.

160
00:06:52,153 --> 00:06:52,773
He's got.

161
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,013
He grew up on a farm.

162
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:54,613
Tremors.

163
00:06:54,753 --> 00:06:57,753
yeah but that's okay he's not doing surgery

164
00:06:57,753 --> 00:06:59,533
he's pulling the what if he what if the

165
00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:01,013
what if

166
00:07:01,013 --> 00:07:03,573
on the way out he shakes it

167
00:07:03,573 --> 00:07:04,933
on accident because of the tremors

168
00:07:04,933 --> 00:07:07,133
he doesn't tremor that hard babe

169
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:07,533
you're right

170
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:13,173
just trust me on this one please babe

171
00:07:13,173 --> 00:07:15,313
okay but if

172
00:07:15,313 --> 00:07:16,493
anything goes wrong

173
00:07:16,493 --> 00:07:19,713
I'm picking all the movies

174
00:07:19,713 --> 00:07:21,113
deal

175
00:07:21,113 --> 00:07:24,173
cut to Doug's

176
00:07:24,173 --> 00:07:25,573
Douglas

177
00:07:25,573 --> 00:07:27,713
Hey

178
00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:29,553
I want to go home

179
00:07:29,553 --> 00:07:31,033
Someone's having a baby

180
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,353
No actually I just

181
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,633
It's gas I've realized

182
00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:36,573
No you're at Doug's now

183
00:07:36,573 --> 00:07:37,973
Doug can tell

184
00:07:37,973 --> 00:07:40,233
Douglas

185
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:42,353
Babe just listen to him okay

186
00:07:42,353 --> 00:07:44,053
I'm trying but the voice

187
00:07:44,053 --> 00:07:46,833
Okay that's a low blow

188
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,013
I can't do anything about my voice

189
00:07:48,013 --> 00:07:50,213
Give me some leeway here

190
00:07:50,213 --> 00:07:52,233
Just come on lie down

191
00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:53,833
On my futon

192
00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:55,653
a fucking futon

193
00:07:55,653 --> 00:07:57,733
yeah it's a futon

194
00:07:57,733 --> 00:07:59,333
futons are great

195
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,853
they get a bad rap

196
00:08:00,853 --> 00:08:03,113
they double as a couch

197
00:08:03,113 --> 00:08:06,613
and a bed and a place to give birth

198
00:08:06,613 --> 00:08:08,273
do you sleep on this

199
00:08:08,273 --> 00:08:12,853
let's not worry about that right now

200
00:08:12,853 --> 00:08:21,700
okay we running out of time did you wash your hands hands Yeah yeah they good Let me see them Hold them up Look Look look Clean

201
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:25,940
Just, just come on.

202
00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:26,400
Glide on.

203
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,120
There's plastic already on the futon.

204
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:28,420
Oh, God.

205
00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:29,280
I'm squatting.

206
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,480
Babe, you're doing so good.

207
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:31,760
You're doing so good, babe.

208
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:32,160
Okay.

209
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:33,640
No Rafiki stuff, okay?

210
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:34,780
No.

211
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:37,880
Marina, I'm here with you the whole time, okay?

212
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:38,220
Okay.

213
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:39,100
All right.

214
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:39,960
Uh-oh.

215
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,360
So, just imagine.

216
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:42,920
Okay.

217
00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,820
I birthed a lot of foals.

218
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:47,080
What?

219
00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:47,760
Foal?

220
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:48,340
Foals.

221
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:48,800
Foal?

222
00:08:48,1000 --> 00:08:49,640
Foals.

223
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:51,100
What?

224
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,040
Foals.

225
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:53,880
What's he saying?

226
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,700
He's saying foals, babe.

227
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:56,760
Foal?

228
00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:57,900
Foals.

229
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,540
What the hell are we talking about?

230
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:01,360
Foal?

231
00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:04,240
Yeah, I think he means like a baby horse.

232
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,360
You've birthed a horse?

233
00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:07,780
A lot of them.

234
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:12,180
Oh, that actually makes me feel a little better, Doug.

235
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,120
Yeah.

236
00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:14,140
God, I told you.

237
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,360
It was going to be great.

238
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:15,780
All right.

239
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:16,840
I feel less anxious.

240
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:17,640
All right.

241
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:19,340
So stand on the futon.

242
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:20,080
Stand?

243
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,340
That's how the horses do it.

244
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:23,660
Unstable.

245
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:24,180
Oh, well.

246
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,040
You're doing great.

247
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:28,480
Okay.

248
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:33,080
And I'll just stand here and wait for the baby to fall out.

249
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:33,680
What the hell?

250
00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:35,420
You're not even going to do anything?

251
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,160
That's how it works with the horses.

252
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,160
It just kind of happens.

253
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:40,580
Excuse me.

254
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:41,760
That's okay.

255
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,740
Weird stuff happens when you're giving birth.

256
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:44,960
Doug, I want you in there.

257
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,040
All right.

258
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:47,560
Put a long glove on.

259
00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:48,160
Long glove.

260
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,820
I got...

261
00:09:50,820 --> 00:09:51,800
Snap.

262
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:52,680
Snap.

263
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,060
Is that on my arm?

264
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:54,280
Yep.

265
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:54,900
All right.

266
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:55,180
Okay.

267
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:56,460
All right.

268
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:56,980
Get it.

269
00:09:58,360 --> 00:09:59,120
It's okay, babe.

270
00:09:59,160 --> 00:09:59,860
I'm totally comfortable.

271
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:00,640
I'm totally comfortable.

272
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:02,300
Go talk to Janoon.

273
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:02,840
Okay.

274
00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:03,640
Sorry.

275
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:03,940
Sorry.

276
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,380
Don't keep bringing that up, okay?

277
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:05,700
I've got to.

278
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,900
Maruna, you're the only one for me.

279
00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:08,600
Okay.

280
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:08,1000
All right.

281
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,400
Now, use that anger at your husband.

282
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,200
bear down all right i'm getting i'm going i'm going so deep

283
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:24,360
oh oh oh what i oh oh can i use you as a puppet just kidding just kidding

284
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,620
oh no need okay it's good to laugh a little full birthing humor yeah okay

285
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:34,140
can you hear it

286
00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:35,260
here it comes

287
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:39,940
oh my god

288
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:40,700
he's beautiful

289
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:43,680
oh crap my tremors

290
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:44,400
what no

291
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,720
where'd he go

292
00:10:58,620 --> 00:10:59,120
you