zillow stocking what do you what do you mean by zillow stocking great so i had a long conversation
with my wife about this and zillow stocking and her opinion is when like you know you hear about
somebody moving away or moving to a new place,
you're definitely going to go on Zillow.
Oh, yeah.
Go check it out, right?
Why?
Because you want to know what they paid
and how much money they got for their house.
It's like, it's a secret look
into somebody's finances a little bit.
Yeah, I mean,
but it's like, you know,
like it's only going to hurt.
I know Francis has thoughts.
I thought we were going to hurt people
you want to hurt people
what do you think Zillow's talking?
I think it's like
going and looking at people's pictures
and like seeing where all their stuff is
and being like
when they show a picture of the primary
they don't show the primary closet I'm like there's a safe in there
you know or like if I see a picture I'm like
they got that target I have that
okay so you're using it as like recon for breaking
into their house. So if you're looking at
Zillow and there's no furniture in it, you're like,
next house. No, that's not true. I think
quick close.
I thought the Zillow stocking
was where you got the Zillow coal if you've
been a bad boy for Christmas.
Heyo!
Oh!
Topical Santa reference.
I know.
I like
using...
Francis,
us how this recent epidemic of having things staged for the real estate photos.
Yeah.
How has that affected your stocking?
Well, you know, they still buy stuff that I can buy.
That's what's funny to me.
If I look at like a $10 million house and I see like my target shower curtain, I'm like,
what's the point then?
If you didn't have someone show you that, what's the point?
I could get that.
little tiny hands didn't sew this for you.
What's the point?
I could get that.
I have that pattern.
I saw a Target shower curtain.
I saw a Target picture of oranges that I have.
And more.
Target, if you're listening and we know you are,
we're looking for sponsors.
Please sponsor us.
And houses.
And Zillow.
Send us an orange painting.
Oh, you know what else I do?
Great topic.
I'm all the time looking at houses now.
I like to go at the house and I like to see when it was built, all the times it was sold and what they made, like what the new person made every time.
So I can judge what they're charging now based on what they've done to the house.
Like, yeah, you bought it for six.
You're not selling it for 10.
Yeah.
And especially when it was like three months ago, you bought it.
Yeah.
Like there's no way you did $400,000 worth of work in three months.
I love doing it.
And I look at property taxes.
Yeah.
Permits.
You look at permits.
Oh, yeah.
Did you do that work legitimately?
Yeah.
You look up, wait, how do you look up permits?
And like Realtor.com, it'll show like there's 10 permits associated with this.
And you look at the permits and it's like rebuild bathroom pool.
Nice.
Yeah, we got a section of our house that's unpermitted.
We have no idea what it is.
Oh, you didn't, not like you dodged the permits.
You just know that somewhere in there there's an unpermitted.
We have more storage footage than what's permitted for the house.
what if it's like a weird middle sliver
of your house and it's not permitted
well we've got
a detached garage
which that might have been an after build
and then we have a faux garage
or a living room actually
like one wall is a garage
I was picturing like the car goes to drive
into the garage but it's just like a picture of a garage
so we think
that house was built in the 70s and we think
that because there's other houses with the same floor
plan in our neighborhood because it was like
you know, a builder's choice or whatever.
Yeah.
And there are models where the garage actually works and what our living room is would be
a garage.
And our living room is sunken and it's not on the same slab as the rest of the house.
So I think it was like an option that then, I guess back in the seventies, they're like.
Sink it.
I love a sunken living room.
Yeah, me too.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah.
You just got cooler.
Yeah, you did.
Thanks.
It's the, uh, cause we also have low ceilings.
So, uh, it's the only.
Well, not if you're in the living room.
It's a very cozy feeling house.
Yeah, the living room's the highest.
It's the only place I can actually put my hands.
No, I mean, I've got maybe like three or four inches.
Nice.
Welcome to Friends Like Us, podcast where friends talk about stuff.
Before we begin, regular listeners to the show will know every week Joe, our producer
Joe, gives us each a secret word to say at some point in time throughout the podcast.
And if we can guess at the end of the podcast what the other people's secret word is, then we win a prize that's yet to be determined.
Maybe a picture of oranges from Target.
I don't know.
We'll see.
We have been given our secret words.
And here's Joe with the secret words.
Jenna's secret word is hydrogen.
Francis's secret word is harass.
Blake's secret word is urine.
Okay. Well, good talk.
Yeah.
I think it's time to get to our first segment.
I think we should introduce Blake.
Oh, shoot. We should. Sorry. There's this strange third voice.
Don't introduce me. I'll just interject.
I'm Jenna. With me as always is Francis.
Hey, girl.
Keeping me honest is Francis.
And we have a special guest today, friend Blake. How are you, Blake?
I'm good. Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
Thanks for being here.
Oh, thank you very much.
It's very nice to be here.
Oh, good.
All right.
Now that shit out of the way.
Let's get to our first segment, which is the invention of the week.
Okay.
Inventions.
I thought a lot about this.
And don't shit on it, okay?
It's good.
That ball is in your court, my man.
All right.
I got to paint a picture for you.
Okay.
You go to the bank.
You're excited.
You got a paper check.
Yeah.
And you're going to have money in your account.
Finally.
You just got to go cash it.
Yeah.
You got your check in your purse.
You're walking into the bank.
You're smiling.
You're waving at people.
It's great.
Yeah.
Oh, Carol.
Hey.
Yeah.
Anyway, you go in the bank.
You're in line.
It feels, you know, it's always nice and chill in the bank.
Cool.
Yep.
There's that smell of triplicate paper that somehow lingers even though they don't have it anymore.
Love the bank.
Yeah.
All of a sudden, a man walks in the bank.
The man has a mask on.
You are worried.
Yeah.
But you don't want to be that person.
Maybe he's just ugly.
The guy with the ski mask.
Yeah.
Is it the ski mask?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
when they dissect this after it's going to be like
they were clearly being rubbed
why was she waving at him
does he have friendly eyes
it's hard to say because we forgot our glasses
anyway
two other men walk in
they all have guns
they pull the guns up
this is about to be a real situation
oh no
what do you do
oh if only there was an invention
for this specific scenario
Well, guess what?
What?
There is.
Give me your money, the guy says.
Yeah.
And the teller.
Carol.
Is prepared.
Yes, teller's waving at you.
Don't worry, I got this.
Reaches under, flips a switch, activating the bank's proprietary system of intense earth magnets that are up at the ceiling.
The guns fly immediately to the ceiling.
where they stay.
And so do all of the customers
that are wearing metal jewelry.
My belt is now...
Well, no, your belt's not going to unhook, and your jewelry's not going to unclasp.
No, it's not.
You might just be...
No, no, no.
Do my fillings come out?
I don't know.
All right, finish your idea.
It's strong enough for guns.
It's not strong enough to lift a person.
It's balanced for a woman.
Okay.
And that's it.
It's an anti-terrorist magnet system for banks and schools.
Okay.
I mean, well, obviously, well, I'm glad you're now moving on to commercial inventions and not individual inventions.
is the entire roof a magnet or is it like magnet spots so that on the floor there'll be an x and
it says like robbers stand here well our um techs will but that's a decoy x so the robber's like i'm
not following for that and then they stand right next to it then that's the real spot yeah i was
thinking our engineers could do like calculations and figure where robbers would be most likely to
based on prior robberies.
You're using statistics. I like that.
Yeah.
Wait, I had a question for this.
It flew out of my head. Oh no, the magnet
took the question out of my head.
Where's your thought?
Will my debit card still work
after you flip this magnet switch?
No.
You're alive. I like that.
But that's okay because you brought a paper check.
Yeah.
I forgot. I'm not in the banking community
actually. This is my first day in a bank.
Yeah. Okay.
What do you do for
non-metal?
Wouldn't this just immediately
make people... 3D printed guns.
Yeah, or like
in the movie In the Line of Fire,
John Malkovich's character
makes a porcelain gun
so that it goes through
metal detectors and it's not detected.
Was it porcelain? I thought it was just
like plastic, like polymer.
Yeah, it's like something like that.
I thought he said the word porcelain.
Like a rubber band with a paperclip, like shut it off.
My child brain, and I don't mean now.
I mean when I was a child and I watched this movie,
for some reason the word porcelain stuck in my head,
but it looked like a polymer type thing.
Basically something that can't be detected by metal.
What do you do then?
Because this would be an immediate pivot.
If I was a bank robber, I would immediately pivot.
No, you wouldn't.
Oh, okay, why?
Because no serious robbers bringing a porcelain gun to a bank And no one going to think that this bank has the proprietary magnet system I mean I seen commercials for it sure but not this bank
This is a bad bank.
This is not the best bank.
You're right.
We've never reached the portion of the invention of the week.
You're going to look behind the curtain, Blake.
This is where Francis gets very exasperated that his vision is not so clearly obvious.
Okay.
There's going to be a lot of eye-rolling from here on out.
No, no, no.
No, that's not.
I don't think I do that.
You do.
I roll?
You just did.
Damn, damn.
Okay.
Well, I forgot to mention the plastic and porcelain magnet system.
Oh, oh.
You should have led with that.
Yeah.
If you can kill with it, it can be magnetized.
Okay.
It's true.
It's true for ropes.
it's true for
kindness
that's great
poor Carol's in trouble
she's so nice
there's only one downside to this
if you have a pacemaker
you will be dead
oh
well
if you have a pacemaker
you're probably pretty close to death
anyway
that's
you've already died once
I think that's actually
not true
but
people with pacemakers
out there
I'm sorry
we know you're listening
and I apologize for that.
I'll do better. I'll learn more about how that
technology keeps you alive. Maybe go to the
drive-thru.
Oh, yeah. Alright. There you go.
What about robbers
at the drive-thru?
That's a great idea. That's where we should
be robbing. Yeah, the drive-thru?
Yeah. Because the magnet's not there.
Stick a gun in one of those pneumatic tubes.
The guy that goes in,
give me all the money you are, we'll shoot you with this gun.
Tyler's just pointing at her colleagues.
I'm sorry, I don't want to.
You came for the tube.
I have to do something.
It's an integrity thing.
No, send it back because I need it.
It's just to prove I got this gun.
I know, I know.
So, uh...
So, do we have...
Do you have a name for this?
I do.
Okay.
And I thought a lot about it.
and unfortunately the best I could come up with
is
gone
like a gun is gone
yeah
gone gun
damn
that's not bad
gone yeah
or goo gone
no like you know that
that product the
Goobie Gun?
Yeah, like the sink cleaner thing.
Like Goobie Gun?
Oh, Goobie Gun, yeah.
Goobie Gun?
Goobie's Gun.
Well, yeah, there you have it.
Goobie's Gun.
You've been boofed.
I did the best thing for a podcast.
I drew a picture of your invention.
Yeah, yeah, that's exactly it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Follow us on social media.
you will see that picture
somewhere on our social medias.
Would it be funny if you,
when the guns went up?
At flu pod official.
Across all social.
No.
Oh, I'm Amora.
Yeah, no, that's okay.
At flu pod official
on all social media.
Anyway, sorry.
Go ahead.
Sorry, no, I just had a passing thought.
If you turn the magnets on
and the guns went up.
Yeah.
And for fun, you turned it off
and they fell.
And then like,
they were like trying to scramble
to get them and you turn it on again.
Yeah.
Make them look stupid.
I really want.
what's
from like
going up
with the gun
I'm picturing
a bunch of
human beings
stuck to this
magnet
it's gonna be
it's like
do I let go
this gun
really wants
to go
so then
someone can
come up
and tickle
you
oh yeah
and then
but then
yeah
the tickling
is a kind
of torture
yeah it's true
if you have
a trigger
happy robber
just comes in
a blazing
can you turn
on the magnet and it'll catch the bullets.
The bullets will go up.
You promise. That's a guarantee.
I promise.
I promise from the Cayman Islands
where I live with my money.
It can't be extradited.
The gun
girl gun.
Gone.
Gone go.
That'd be great.
There's a sticker on the front of the window of the bank that says,
Equipped with Gun Go.
We have the system.
Yes, the one.
That's right.
That one.
This means you.
Yeah.
And we have the plastic and porcelain filters, too.
And the kindness.
Sorry, Carol.
Hmm.
Yeah.
So, okay.
Now I have to think.
If I owned a bank, would I buy this?
Keep in mind, it works.
I, that's a good thing to keep in mind when evaluating whether you buy something.
I don't know.
To me, again, it's, it feels like the Ashaundam in that I think I want to, I want to endorse
it just because I want to see people using it.
I want to see the hilarity that will ensue once this metal like thing happens.
I think there's going to be a whole bunch of unintended consequences of things flying
off people's bodies.
Yeah. If you have a small
child with a belt, I bet you he flies
up. Maybe it's too...
He could grab the gun.
On his way up?
And get a shot in at the robber.
That's good.
When the bullet will go up.
You turn it off briefly.
When the good guys are shooting,
you turn it off.
Good guys shooting, you turn it off.
Just behind
the desk, what was her name?
Mabel. She's back there. Carol.
Carol's just flipping it. Yeah.
I think Carol would have a field day with this.
Now you have to get the employees
properly trained on this.
I love that Carol has just become like
a Bugs Bunny character at this point.
Carol loves it too.
I like the idea of all the pins on
chains just floating
above the desks. Well, they'll fly right up.
They're on a chain. It'll rip the chain.
It'll rip the chain. Oh, exactly.
And it might even rip your earlobe if you have like
Oh. You're definitely
going to lose your earrings. Well, you're alive.
Wear clip-ons in this bank.
Yeah.
Always wear clip-ons to the bank, folks.
Or real gold.
Or real gold, yeah.
It's not magnetic.
It won't be affected by it.
Don't come with those iron earrings. Don't you think no one's ever thought of this, though?
It's crazy
that no one's ever thought of this.
Actually, for all we know, I've never been in a
bank that's about to be robbed.
You just walk in today
and just pull a gun out and be like, go ahead.
And then watch what, and then suddenly it's out of my hands and onto the ceiling.
But they're the one bank that doesn't have it, so you just get arrested.
I mean, maybe they all do have this, and they just don't tell you about it.
Banks, if you're listening, write to us.
Do you have this already?
Do you already have, I keep forgetting.
Gone.
How do you spell that?
G-U-A-H-H.
N.
I was hoping a W would be in there.
There's not.
There's several H's.
Two H's and four N's.
Thank you.
Exclamation point at the end?
Let me try it.
Gone!
That was a question mark.
Was it?
Yeah, you added a question mark at the end.
Gone!
With three staccato, it sounds like shooting.
that's what we need to do
thank you for considering everything
I'm going to say it's an angry
exclamation point
yeah
and that's that
again I think this is a
I would like to see this being used
so for my own amusement
I would invest in this
what's to stop people from putting this in their own house
expensive
only banks have that kind of money
It's basically an MRI machine in the attic.
Could you make a portable version for on the go?
Ooh.
That seems like something a criminal would do.
Like they've hacked the system and now it's like, watch this.
Are you saying that your god can be thwarted with your own personal god?
Two gods make a right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Your name.
Yeah.
I'm just not sure.
That's for the personal version.
Two gones make a right.
So think about this from the Game of Islands.
I don't know how magnets work.
No one does.
No one does, yeah.
No one does.
Did you know you can open a safe with a magnet?
What?
You get earth magnets.
Wait, is this going to open the Burt Banks vaults?
Next segment.
I want to hear this.
No, I want to sell this thing.
Shit.
No, let's pretend like I didn't say that.
Okay, shoot.
Yeah, I watched the video.
You can take two earth magnets.
Why are they earth magnets?
I don't know about magnets.
I just know the words.
Okay, two earth magnets.
Okay.
Told you it's exasperated.
No, I'm cool.
And you put it up against the safe where the bars are locked,
and you put the magnets in a sock.
I saw about this.
and you pull the magnets away
and the bars open in the safe.
There's YouTube videos about this.
But you're...
But the gearing.
Yeah, I know.
Well, alright.
That sounds like it works on like a bathroom stall door.
Boom.
Yeah, that kind of...
Oh, the magnet curve strikes again.
Well, I'd invest to see it in action because I think it's funny.
Thanks.
Blake, what are your thoughts?
I like your secondary idea of creating a magnet device to unlock bathroom doors when it's an emergency for you.
Not my idea.
I think that's way more useful.
Hey, someone's in the stall too long.
Boom.
Slip.
Oh, it was.
Okay.
You're policing the stall.
You're not attacking people.
Okay.
No, just got to go.
All right.
Well, go to friendslikeuspod.com to invest in the gone.
Any final thoughts or should we just close the invention of the week?
No, I did what I could.
All right.
That's it for the invention of the week.
It time for our next segment We need a job Hello 911 We need a job
This is not a commentary on the fact that we all need jobs.
This actually came to me in a dream the other night.
I dreamed we were recording the podcast,
and the segment was We Need a Job,
and here's how this segment works.
we all have to come up with a job that doesn't already exist yet on this planet
that will like once we invent it will have the highest rate of employment once this job is
activated basically i don't know if that makes sense you get it so once i've created this job
i am a true job creator and i can employ most of the population yeah you want to have what's
a job that would get, like if this job
existed, suddenly
tons of people would be employed.
Just professional carrier of shit.
Shouldn't be...
You just carry things.
Oh, okay. I was like...
I don't carry that.
Well,
you can think about it.
I'll go first, because in my dream
I actually thought of what my answer would be.
And then you guys can...
We can save you for last.
So you can come up with something better than professional carrier of shit.
Okay.
My adventure,
my job would be car crash liaison.
Every time you're in a car accident,
you get a personal liaison to help take care of all the details and the
minutia that comes up with having to take care of a car crash.
and uh and everybody gets their own so that's like i think there are probably tons of
car crashes every day both sides get their own liaison okay so it's two people per crash now
yep and you think there's so many car crashes that everyone has around the world yeah and if
let's say you're only liaising everyone like this happens and you're gonna get a car crash liaison
Can you guys liaise each other?
Can two people be each other's liaisons?
No.
You have to have a distinct liaison
for every car crash.
The liaison can only handle one car crash at a time.
They retire after that?
No, then they can get a new one.
It's not like one liaison is handling 100 car crashes.
I feel like this would cover as many car crashes
as there are in a day across the whole world.
Hmm.
What, you're skeptical?
I am.
I don't think there's enough car crashes that everyone who needs a job would have a job.
Well, I didn't say every...
No, no, no.
This is just...
This is about maximizing as many jobs as you can get out of...
It's not literally there's nobody unemployed anymore.
Okay.
It's just...
We're just...
Come up with an idea and...
Okay.
And we'll see who gets the most jobs out of their idea.
Thank you for the note.
Yeah.
Are we going to post these jobs
and people apply?
Yeah, we could do a poll and see who wants to apply
for your guys' jobs and who gets the most
applications.
Yeah, all right, we'll do a poll.
Real resumes only, though, people.
That kind of makes me wonder, though.
Do people have to bid for these?
It's like everyone's waiting and they see
a ding new accident and whoever gets there
first is the liaison?
I'll take it, I'll take it.
It's mine.
Sure.
I don't care.
Or if they're assigned
randomly assigned. Just one happens
and you're the next in the line for that accident.
Thank you.
Alright, so that's my idea.
Car crash liaison.
Okay.
You want to go? Okay, I can go.
My job
is called hydration
specialist.
And this is a person
that observes you urinate.
or take your urine.
Make sure you've been drinking enough water.
Make sure it's the right hue
of
yellow or brown depending on the person.
They're aiming for clear. We all know they're aiming for clear.
But it's just that
trusted specialist
that goes, hey,
I have an extra glass of water today.
While you're peeing?
Yes, it has to be in the moment.
In person. Yes.
yes they need to see the stream
okay wouldn't this
lead to like a daisy chain of
everybody's hydration specialist
being in the room like
because that guy's got a hydration specialist too
or is this a voluntary thing
is like everyone has one or
well if it's voluntary it's not employment so
or do they just stay in the bathroom and wait
I feel like you could just like
it could be remote you don't actually
have to be there
but you can have like your toilet could have
a video camera in it which I know that
Exposes us to a lot of weird situations.
But it only goes off when the seat is up.
Well, that probably wouldn't work either.
Anyway, there's some kind of sensor scanning situation that then sends information to an individual
so that they can review it and make sure your urine is the appropriate color for proper hydration.
And they can advise you appropriately.
You need more electrolytes.
That's smart.
Thank you.
Okay.
All right.
Francis, do you have a...
Yep.
I don't know if I'm about to feel real smart or real dumb.
We'll see.
I was thinking cool rock finder.
Okay.
Because if I want to create the most amount of jobs, it's like, you want to work?
Get out there.
Find a rock.
So when do you consider a person employed in this position?
Is it just the first rock that they find cool or otherwise?
They can do as many as they want.
But then it's just like I walk out my front door and then I pick up a rock and then what, I'm employed now?
If it's cool.
Oh, so your first cool rock that you find suddenly now.
Temperature or vibe?
Color, vibe, material.
Shape.
Yeah, something that's like, wow, this.
Shape.
Like, have you ever been out in nature?
I would like a chilly rock, though.
Chilly rock?
Yeah, like a cool one.
Oh, chill rock.
Temperature, yeah.
I don't know why I thought this was a drug thing.
Got a chili rock.
I guess the barrier to entry for that is...
Who pays them?
Low.
How come I'm the only one being asked who's paying the employees?
I would pay for cool rocks.
The government's paying.
If they're really cool.
The rocks line things.
they are also
cannon fodder
my pockets with money
cannon fodder
they're literally
bullets are made of rocks now
okay
next week's invention
are rocks
some of them
cool magnetic rock
I love that
C-M-R-I
Kermy
all right so i guess we'll see who wins all right uh yeah this is gonna be a poll
we're gonna have to create a poll probably on instagram is my guess so
check out flu pod official our instagram vote uh on which one you think well should it be should
they vote on which one they would want to do or which one they think would actually
create the most jobs.
That was the prompt.
Yeah.
So,
I'll just count my rocks
all the way to the Cayman Islands,
I guess.
Where you're going to find
a bunch of cool rocks
so you'll continue to be employed.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I guess we'll find out
when the poll closes.
Yeah, soon.
Yeah, all right.
Good job, everybody.
Well, we did it.
That was
We Need a Job.
All right.
One final segment.
Oh, yeah.
The big question.
The question is very big.
Francis, you got a big question?
I have a big question.
All right.
All right, my people.
Yeah.
Yes.
If you could go into any book or movie, like any fictional situation,
and like mess things up for someone,
who would you mess with?
Like what arc would you derail?
Oh, wait.
So any book or any fictional movie?
I don't know what else exists.
Can't think of anything.
Song.
That would be an interesting choice.
Janie doesn't have a gun.
Good luck at that bank now, Janie.
um
well who do I hate
in fiction and
or movie yeah
hmm do you have anything
in mind oh I immediately already
okay and this
is going to be controversial but I would
um I would go and
tell Luke Skywalker
that Darth Vader is his dad and he
should just leave the whole situation alone
oh like early on yeah
I would ruin that for all the Star Wars
fans. What if he didn't believe you?
Oh, he'll believe me.
How are you going to get him to
believe you? I'll just
give him puppy dog eyes or something like that.
You know, it'll work. You're going to
harass Luke Skywalker with puppy dog eyes?
I mean, he's... Luke Skywalker
pretty much listens to a lot of strangers.
Okay.
He does.
Yeah.
what would the fate of that end up being
I'm trying to think
Darth Vader goes I guess I'm going to tell you
and he's like yeah I know
yeah I know
yeah I got it
yeah thanks dad
yeah I know
you kissed your sister
and then write your credits
the only one movie's made
say it to everybody
I don't actually know the answer to this question
because I'm not like huge into Star Wars or anything
I've seen the original ones
but so Luke has this
big moment where he's like no
you're not my dad does Leia ever
have that moment
I don't know if she ever figures it out
but they just let her
women folk can't handle
kind of
I mean I view this situation as
I'm like I'm saving this guy's hand
is it his left hand or his right
does it matter?
I'm going to say left
I think it's a left too
but like a hand is a terrible thing to lose
like you don't
gotta lose it dude
you know you get the ball in the hole
on the dust side
or like a robot
yeah it would work just as well
he's fine
there no way it works just as well it probably better cause oh like Yeah You don have to sit on it anymore It was his right hand by the way
It was a righty?
Well, I don't know which hand
he was dominant with, but he lost his
right hand. I thought he was a righty. Statistically,
it probably was a righty. So he won that...
Did he...
Did he win that lightsaber fight?
Or it just kind of came to a draw and they all ran away?
I can't remember. I recently watched all three of the original
movies did you i can't tell you the answer we've lost the star wars fan base we'll get back yeah
um star wars fan base if you're listening and we know you are
uh we'll get you back somehow someday don't give up on us yet um we'll see now i feel like
should i i wasn't thinking in terms of like that like should i
go into the movie Oppenheimer and tell him
just maybe leave hydrogen alone.
Or whatever.
Your original idea was just
to mess with somebody in a way that didn't really change
plot?
Yeah.
Interesting.
I was thinking
I really
hated the book Jane Eyre.
I would just mess
with Jane Eyre.
He's not going to fall in love with you at the end.
Yeah. I don't know.
Like, I like thinking of it like in taking it personally.
Like, I hate that part of my life was ruined by having to read Jane Eyre.
And I've resented it ever since.
And I read that when I was like 13.
And I've been mad about it for years.
Because it was like a sign.
Summer reading thing?
The sign reading somewhere in my.
I swear I've never heard of it.
It's like a big.
It's a big like.
Sugar crush.
it's one of the horrible bronte sisters and uh it's it's one of those it's like
like girls are supposed to like it or something i don't know i just thought it was so boring
and i thought it was so terrible and i that's a bad soundbite yeah the times people have told me
girls like it yeah girls are supposed to like it i don't know but it's like i don't know it's
like emily dickinson like i don't give a shit what you have to say emily shut up so sorry about hope
having feathers yeah wait no that's not emily dickinson that's maya angelou she can talk
isn't maya angelou the one who said hope is the thing oh no my angelou was uh the cage bird i'm
getting my i'm getting my poetic bird references you're messing with a lot of fiction books here
I know.
Well, anyway, I'd find a way to fuck with Jane Eyre.
That's what I'd do.
Yeah.
Or Rebecca.
I also didn't like the book Rebecca.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Mine is vengeful for the time that I wasted having read it.
I'm noticing that Blake wants to do it to help the character,
and you want to do it to satisfy your own loathing.
This is for Jenna.
I want my time back
I actually
can I quickly interject with an answer
you've inspired me before we get to Francis' answer
this is Joe
I would do The Old Man in the Sea
and I would just shove
Santiago into the water and let him drown
oh okay another vengeful one
yeah so that way I'd just save myself
some time having to read that book
so terrible
sucks
so boring.
Oh man, come on. That's a Hemingway
classic, man. That's about the
yearning of work.
Hemingway
overrated.
Even he thought so. He shot himself.
It'd be funny if I go home
and I have the book open with
a bookmark in it because it's my first time reading it and I just
close it.
You were mid-read.
Oh man, Santiago's going to do some
really crazy stuff. I know it.
Nope.
Thank you.
All right.
So I have inspired you to be vengeful, Joe.
Good.
All right.
Well, this is dumb, but I was thinking, would it be funny?
I'll be the judge of that.
Thank you.
Wouldn't it be funny if you went into the Saw movies and just told everyone how to get out of the traps?
Yeah.
So, like, he'd be so embarrassed.
Like, the video starts and they're already, like, the collar's off.
I like that.
That would make it really funny.
I would like seeing that.
I'd love to see a scene when a little tricycle comes in.
Somebody just comes from the side.
Who's telling you?
Parallel of the ground.
Just full spear.
Side tackle.
Big time.
That would be funny.
A good side tackle is always funny.
Yeah.
He sidles in and is just like, guys.
Guys.
Where is everybody?
How come no one's heads explode?
I worked really hard on this.
Took me three hours to put this makeup on.
I'm trying to teach a lesson here.
Well, thanks.
All right.
So, Blake was being nice.
I was being mean.
And you were just kind of being comedic.
I like it.
The tripod.
Yep.
All right.
Well, I think we have our answers to the big question.
Exciting.
The big question.
Well, there's only one thing left.
left. All three
of you guys said your secret words.
You guys all did a real good
job, by the way. Yeah, because everything felt so smooth.
Okay.
Okay, what do we do? I know Francis...
Okay. What? Francis, I know
you wrote down suggestions. I feel
like I could guess what one of your guesses
for me is. Okay, go ahead.
I think you're going to guess that my word is pneumatic.
I didn't even hear you say that.
Oh, the tube! The tube, okay. No, was that
your word? No, it was not. No, but I saw
you write that down. No, I didn't write that down.
No, I saw you write something down right
around the same time that I said pneumatic.
Well, my guess for you is liaison.
No. You think
I dreamed my secret word?
No, you could have. I didn't know
you dreamed that. You could have slipped it in.
No, no, no. Car crash
liaison was fully in my dream.
The wording and everything.
Was it pivot?
No. Okay, I'm out of guesses for you.
Is this the part where you guess if Jenna's word was Earth Magnet?
Princess has a long history of guessing words that he says first.
It's called Inception.
Yeah.
All right, Blake, do you have a guess for what my secret word was?
No, I didn't pick up anything on you at all.
Nice.
By the way, halfway through this, I realized, oh, I should be looking out for a secret word.
I know.
It's, yeah.
We don't do well with this.
We really are bad at this.
We're quite bad.
You'll hear this.
Mostly myths.
my secret word was hydrogen.
Really?
Is that why you went with Oppenheimer?
Yep.
Oh.
Yes.
You dog.
I was very grateful to Blake for the opening for that.
I was like, okay, I know I can work my word in now.
So, yeah.
Damn.
Your hydrogen went away.
Okay.
All right.
Great.
Good job.
Thank you.
So, Francis.
Yeah.
Jenny, you got a guess?
Is your secret word puppy dog?
Did I say that?
You said puppy dog eyes.
Oh, no, no, I didn't.
Oh, okay.
I said that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
I'm turning into a real Francis.
I thought you were taught.
Do you have a guess?
I think your word is prompt.
It's not.
I'm really happy that Blake didn't guess
that would be embarrassing
if you come in
right out of the gate
yeah
and then we're just
we have to leave
out him saying the word
and then you'd be like
no that's not it
yeah
we'd have to go
into doctor history
yep
my word is harass
oh
when did you say it
I mean
harass Luke Skywalker
with puppy dog eyes
there we go
I saw something going on
with when you said puppy dog
I was like
something was a little
off about this
I got the wrong
yeah you did
got the wrong word
that was a real
hone your craft
sort of situation. Yes, it was.
All right, now we're on to
V-Man.
Cool.
Was your word
hydration?
No. Oh. Good one,
good one. Okay.
You're kind of close.
Specialist? No, wait.
Was it specialist? No,
but how are you giving proximity
alerts before Francis
is... Yeah, that's true.
It's just what we do, Blake.
Just shut up.
You come on to our podcast
and have the gall to question our process.
Well, my light's been red the whole time,
so I know that none of this is getting recorded.
Close to hydration.
Do you mean close as in when that conversation was happening?
Yes.
Oh, shit.
Well, Jesus Christ.
Very close.
Oh, no.
Is it...
This is a great podcast.
Are you just going to regurgitate this out?
Like you're hoping it comes from deep within?
Oh god, is it brown?
Brown?
Is that your final answer?
No.
No, it's not.
We're just hoping you didn't say brown peeve.
Because it was in your heart.
Yeah, we were hoping you said it as a way
to get your secret word out. Is it stream?
No. Okay.
Alright, what was it?
It's either urine or urine, depending on
what part of the world you're in.
I was literally going to say that. I'm like, there's no way that word was
generated. It was.
You made a whole
job out of your...
Oh, yeah. You need backstory
to sell out. Nobody vote
for that one. It was bored in
sin. Yes.
That job was for false pretenses.
if you already went and voted on that poll
if you paused when we said to vote
and you went and voted immediately go back
there's no way anybody's going to be hired
to do that job come on people
wait this is okay so this is the thing
that's how
messed up you are that that totally seemed
like a Blake job that you would come up with
that didn't I was like okay
that sounds like the kind of job Blake would come up with
yeah well now you're on to it
at random times I just say weird shit
to people so that I can get away with things
So if you're harassed on a podcast and you have to say a secret word.
I've been playing this for 15 years.
Should have said urine.
Well, thanks, Blake.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks for joining us, Blake.
Thank you.
It's been fun.
And I guess that's it.
It's time for our fees.
Yep.
Okay.
Yep.
Now Blake charges us.
I've been to you.
Yeah.
Negative $30.
Yep.
All right.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
Bye.