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I had this really interesting dream last night where someone was asking me to smuggle something

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and I really wanted to get the job and then every time they were so they were like oh it's

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it's chickens. And I was like, oh, chickens are the easiest thing to smuggle.

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Like, so yeah, I could do that. That's great. And they were like, oh, would they lay eggs?

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And I was like, chicken laying eggs? That's even

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easier to smuggle. I was like, I was saying anything I could to like get this like smuggling deal.

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You just really needed this job. Yeah, I really wanted to do it. So I was like planning out this like smuggling

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expedition with chickens. And then

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suddenly it like morphed and we were like at this like Olympic event.

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and my friend was there

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and one of the events was walking

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like a high beam

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high over the city and it was like

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scary

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and I was like I can't do this

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and she goes it's super easy

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once you

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put high heels on

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so I was like oh that's the trick

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she's like yeah watch and she put heels on

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and just like

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walked across it super easy and I was so

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scared

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did you do it?

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No, I woke up with a cramp.

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Oh, because of the high heels.

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Yeah, probably.

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You know, the brain doesn't know the difference between sleep and awake.

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The brain's an idiot.

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Brain is doing the best it can.

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Try harder, brain.

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Yeah.

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So it just got me thinking.

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Brain.

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We don't smuggle enough.

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It's a good point.

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I want to smuggle even when no one's asked me to.

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Just for no reason.

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We should find some chickens.

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Okay.

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And just bring them places?

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Only if they're laying eggs.

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Well, they're easier that way.

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That's what I've heard from myself.

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Isn't it interesting?

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The word smuggle is one letter off from snuggling.

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Snuggling is you're cuddling, basically.

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Smuggling is you're moving.

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Cuddling things close to your body and then depositing them somewhere else.

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I always think of smuggling as putting something under your shirt.

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I don't know why.

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Oh, I think of it like keistering.

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Like keistering?

54
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Yeah.

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Like butt?

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Yeah.

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Oh.

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That's the worst way to think of it.

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It is, but that's how, I mean, people do smuggle.

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I want to have a trench coat that I open and things fall out of.

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Well, maybe instead you should have a trench coat that you open and things are for sale.

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That too.

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That's, I mean, really one of the main end goals of smuggling.

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Selling the things you're smuggling.

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Selling the things you're selling.

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Yeah, that's why I want to just do...

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Smuggling implies illegality, doesn't it?

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Yeah, because why else would you smuggle it?

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Why not just do it?

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But I want to act as if I'm smuggling things.

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Recreational smuggling?

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You could just say it.

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You could go anywhere and be like,

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oh, I smuggled these drinks in, but it's like water.

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Yeah.

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That's still smuggling because it was done outside of the public purview.

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No one knows.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, let's do it.

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Let's smuggle.

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And then we'll snuggle.

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Aww.

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Welcome to Very Fine Friends.

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Listeners, if you're listening to this, and we know you are because you're listening to it, listeners.

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It's like Schrodinger's podcast.

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We just smuggled you into our podcast.

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Welcome.

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Snuggle us.

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We smuggled, so now we snuggle.

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First you smuggle, then you snuggle.

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Hold on, I'm writing this down.

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Do you have the, not snuggling first.

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No, no.

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That's, nope.

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Scratching it out.

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That's the reward for all the smuggling.

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That's right.

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Smuggling, then snahuggling.

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Yes.

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We do them in alphabetical order.

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Oh, that's good.

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That's how you remember.

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That'll help people just learning the alphabet.

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Yes, that's what I was hoping for.

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You know how you always smuggle first and then you snuggle?

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Well, that's alphabetical order.

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I always remember port and starboard.

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Oh, don't do this to me.

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Are those the two, though?

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Who among us could know the difference?

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It's left and right.

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It's alphabetical order in that one.

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But the two words are port and starboard, right?

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Why don't they just say stage right and stage left like everyone else?

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Yeah.

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Like when I'm giving directions to someone when they're lost,

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I'm like, go up to the light, take a stage left.

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And then when you hit to the stop sign, take a stage right.

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Yeah.

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Uh, and if you find yourself downstage, you've gone too far.

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Um, yeah, no, but those are alphabetical order too.

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Um, port and starboard left, right.

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So good for us.

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Good for us.

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Good for the alphabet.

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Good for literacy.

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Yeah.

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Quick interruption.

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Every week on the podcast, we do something where our producer Joe gives Francis and I

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each our own secret word. Throughout the course of the podcast, we need to find a way to slip the

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secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing. If the other person can

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correctly guess the secret word, they get a point. And right before we die, we add up all the points.

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And then we get a prize, whoever has the most points for guessing the most secret words.

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Here's Joe with today's secret words.

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Jenna's secret word is schmooze.

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Jenna's decoy word is railroads.

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Francis's secret word is improvised.

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Francis's decoy word is yikes.

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Back to the pod.

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A, B, C, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, R, B.

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You know what else is in alphabetical order?

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The alphabet?

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Technically.

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Yes, that's true.

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It's a good point.

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i o t w invention of the week

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inventions

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oh that was smooth

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wow you know what isn't in alphabetical order sexy which is what that transition was

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Jenna that was impressive

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thank you I've been studying the alphabet

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for most of my life waiting

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and it's finally paid off

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did you just come up with that on the cuff?

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I did

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are you serious?

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why am I so impressed by this?

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I don't know it's not that impressive

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Joe hail your sister

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you just improvised that

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I did

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isn't that kind of my job?

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I'm just amazed

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Francis you know this podcast

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is all improv right?

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You know we don't

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Not all of it

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Welcome to Verified Friends, a podcast where friends talk about stuff

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That's a script

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So you guys haven't been reading the scripts that I've been sending you

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Sorry Joe, I've just been really busy

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Maybe if you put them in alphabetical order

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It'd be easier to digest

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He did, the first episode is called A

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The second one is B

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Guys, we're past 26 episodes

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I don't know what to do anymore

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A-A, B-B

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Yeah

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All right, Francis, lay it on me.

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You want me to lay on you?

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Yes.

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Okay.

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Coming right up, sister.

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You want an invention?

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I would love one.

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Thank you.

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Okay.

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I had one, and I'm going to communicate it to you and Joe in the audience at large.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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the invention of the week

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this week

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has to do with

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um

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you seem like you're stalling for time

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the invention of the week this week

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which is the week that we're in

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currently

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okay um here it is

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okay

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the invention of the week this week

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is

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stop okay

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stop it

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okay so remember how I came up with that

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invention where you can eat whatever you want and then it goes into a tube yes like the little

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proprietary valve system you switch it off and it goes into the yeah you remember i remember of

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course i remember i love that i'm wearing one right now i thought you looked thin deprived of

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nutrients yeah um i have a uh i have a better i have a better way oh well you're one upping your

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previous invention? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm one-upping it.

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Now forget it. I have a new invention. Here it is.

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I've talked to you about this before. I see if you remember. It wasn't on pod, but

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I was thinking about it today. I'm like, this is a great idea. Okay. Let me tell you a story, Joe.

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One time I came to visit Jenna and it was

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really hot. It was the middle of summer. I know. I remember this one.

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And she didn't come to the door for a long time. I didn't know you were at the door already.

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sweating and finally she i was about to go back to the car but then i didn't and then she finally

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came to the door and i was like sweating all over i think it was like one minute i don't think it

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was like a really long it makes it sound like you were out there for like 15 minutes well it's better

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for the invention if it was longer okay could have been an hour anyway i was stalling because i was

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trying to remember this just so you know okay so there i admit it i was stalling see proof that

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it's improv people yeah see it's not always fast we didn't read joe's script

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all right right here it is my invention do you know how sometimes you go to your friend's house

225
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and she doesn't answer the door for upwards of an hour it's not do i know it i don't know that

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you know how the world is hot i do know that and sometimes cold i do know that you know how we like

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to wait in comfort?

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I do know that.

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Well, tighten your bra

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because you are about

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to be amazed.

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Oh, I just went back

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one hook.

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Go on.

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Oh, they're high.

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Yeah, thank you.

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Here's my invention.

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I just had my handmaiden

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pull my corset tighter.

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Wow, I didn't know

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it could go any tighter.

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My ribs are cracking

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under the pressure.

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My invention has a handmaid

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who knows how to do her job.

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No.

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Here it is.

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You push a button.

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Not a button, a doorbell.

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This is ridiculous.

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The button of the house.

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Similar to the lady of the house.

253
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Oh, yes.

254
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The button of the house.

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There's only one button on a house.

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Like when you were a child and you used to pretend to be the button of the house?

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That's a deep cut.

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Only true fans will appreciate it.

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Real ones don't.

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Yeah.

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sorry go on

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you push the button of the house

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when you're pushing the button

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when you push the button

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depending on if it's summer or winter

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there's a vent over the door

267
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,480
that opens

268
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,280
and it blows whatever temperature

269
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,580
of air is going on in the house

270
00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:41,540
on you so you can wait in comfort

271
00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:43,520
so if it's summertime

272
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,320
it blows the AC on you while you wait

273
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,540
if it's winter time it blows the heat on you while you wait

274
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:58,100
and that's about it okay yes i remember this invention and i remember you inventing it

275
00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:03,120
i still don't maintain that i was that gone for that long or not at the door that much but

276
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:09,040
um it's not about that it is to me it's about pride i don't leave my guests

277
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,480
hanging at the door this was the one time that i was like

278
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:19,120
it was hot it was hot it was a scorcher it was a scorcher weatherman said it was a scorcher

279
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:25,100
and you don't dress for the weather you dress to impress so thanks yeah so which i appreciate

280
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:35,040
by the way screw the weather screw the weather um and me because i'm at it yep not in that order

281
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:42,900
this is not a snuggle smuggle situation do it the other way um i

282
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:51,760
don't think this is a bad idea this is i uh the only thing i could see being a problem would be

283
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:58,020
someone pressing the button of the house over and over and over again no no no that wouldn't work

284
00:12:58,020 --> 00:13:02,120
because it has to be tied to the doorbell like my doorbell i don't think works

285
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:07,880
it's like i don't think it makes any noise well here's what we're gonna do about that okay we can

286
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:15,340
retrofit it for for an existing home we'll put a new doorbell in and connect it right our qualified

287
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:20,340
technicians can handle that for you don't have to do anything but if it's a new build it goes in

288
00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:28,400
as a new build so we have ways of solving all of these problems but but nothing but okay so but

289
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:34,480
What I'm saying is, if you press the button in my house, nothing happens.

290
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:40,360
So how do I, if the sound breaks, how do you know you're not going to get someone out there just stealing your AC?

291
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,820
Well, so it's also going to be connected to an app.

292
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:44,440
Okay.

293
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,360
And also, it's kind of like, you know when you hit the crosswalk button?

294
00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:49,140
Yeah.

295
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,340
It doesn't happen any faster because you hit it ten times.

296
00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:52,820
It activates.

297
00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:55,000
I just like hearing them go, wait.

298
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:55,940
Oh, I can do it.

299
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:56,200
Hold on.

300
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:56,500
Yeah.

301
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:58,280
Wait.

302
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:08,260
yeah pretty good thanks wait oh wow you're just as good nice new skill unlocked we should go to

303
00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:13,600
crosswalks and do that then can we make the clicking noise for when it like turns to walk

304
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:17,520
and accidentally trick people can i hear your version of it uh

305
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:23,020
that's not good that's not it that's better than i could do mine was gonna be more high-pitched

306
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:28,340
uh we could then get we could trick people into crossing the street when their car is coming

307
00:14:28,340 --> 00:14:31,540
And watch their body parts fly off their body when they get hit.

308
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,320
Or say, wait when they're in the middle of the crosswalk.

309
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:35,240
And then they just stop.

310
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,520
And they're just like, what do we do?

311
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:38,760
Oh, the light rail's coming.

312
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,560
Oh my God, I wish I was in front of a house with a button I could push.

313
00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:43,160
Back to the invention.

314
00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:49,520
Anyway, so it's only going to happen once, okay?

315
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,240
And then it's like on a timer.

316
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:55,700
So for max, it'll be like five minutes.

317
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,920
this seems like it will use a lot of energy

318
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,320
though because

319
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,340
to blast

320
00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:04,860
the outside with air conditioned

321
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,000
air or heat

322
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,300
it's going to have to be its own unit

323
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:11,160
you want it separate from your

324
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,800
just sounds like more incentive

325
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,280
for lazy bones like you

326
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:16,680
to get to the door faster

327
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:17,960
and let their guests in

328
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,140
oh no all the energy is being used

329
00:15:21,140 --> 00:15:21,960
I better hurry up

330
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,360
I better run from my basement up to the main level

331
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:25,660
here's the thing

332
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:33,440
They have devices, like heaters and coolers, so they do both.

333
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:39,600
So it could just be one new thing that's right over the front door.

334
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,040
It's not connected to your AC.

335
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:41,780
You know what I mean?

336
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:42,480
Okay.

337
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,240
So it's the equivalent of turning on your bedside bed jet.

338
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:48,300
Okay.

339
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,100
And people will love it.

340
00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:53,060
And their hair will stay done, and their makeup will stay done.

341
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,000
What's a bed jet?

342
00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:56,860
Oh, bed jets are nice.

343
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:57,480
I have one.

344
00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:58,200
You don't know?

345
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:12,331
You don know It this um uh you know how you like bed You know you like jets No it this like heating and cooling system for your bed

346
00:16:12,671 --> 00:16:16,531
So you put a little hose at the bottom of your bed,

347
00:16:17,191 --> 00:16:20,731
and then you can adjust the air temperature,

348
00:16:21,751 --> 00:16:26,451
either cold in the summer or hot in the winter.

349
00:16:27,071 --> 00:16:28,571
And it has a little remote and a timer,

350
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:29,531
and yeah.

351
00:16:30,931 --> 00:16:31,351
Nice.

352
00:16:31,671 --> 00:16:32,451
It has a little remote

353
00:16:32,451 --> 00:16:32,871
and a timer.

354
00:16:33,811 --> 00:16:34,611
Delayed reaction.

355
00:16:37,691 --> 00:16:39,651
It's wintery time now.

356
00:16:39,811 --> 00:16:41,431
I like before bed

357
00:16:41,431 --> 00:16:42,091
turning it on

358
00:16:42,091 --> 00:16:42,931
for like 30 minutes

359
00:16:42,931 --> 00:16:43,991
and get my tootsies

360
00:16:43,991 --> 00:16:44,811
nice and toasty

361
00:16:44,811 --> 00:16:46,071
and then fall asleep.

362
00:16:48,011 --> 00:16:49,191
And then the summer

363
00:16:49,191 --> 00:16:49,891
is air conditioning

364
00:16:49,891 --> 00:16:50,511
for your bed.

365
00:16:50,851 --> 00:16:51,451
Who doesn't love

366
00:16:51,451 --> 00:16:52,571
some toasted tootsies?

367
00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:53,871
I do.

368
00:16:54,191 --> 00:16:54,951
We didn't when we were

369
00:16:54,951 --> 00:16:55,771
eating John Malkovich.

370
00:16:55,771 --> 00:16:57,451
and

371
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,191
Dorothy Michaels

372
00:16:59,191 --> 00:17:01,571
who's that? Tootsie

373
00:17:01,571 --> 00:17:02,671
the movie

374
00:17:02,671 --> 00:17:06,991
don't get me warm

375
00:17:06,991 --> 00:17:10,051
anyway

376
00:17:10,051 --> 00:17:11,611
Dustin Hoffman is that you?

377
00:17:12,511 --> 00:17:14,611
now I am a woman who is proud to be cold

378
00:17:14,611 --> 00:17:18,531
okay so then if it's

379
00:17:18,531 --> 00:17:20,411
own separate unit then also

380
00:17:20,411 --> 00:17:22,591
the other problem I was worried about

381
00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:24,691
is having vents that open in the house

382
00:17:24,691 --> 00:17:27,451
Like you don't want to have any extra like sealed off.

383
00:17:27,591 --> 00:17:29,151
So this is like a sealed off thing.

384
00:17:29,271 --> 00:17:29,751
Totally separate.

385
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:31,531
And here's a fun part.

386
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:35,871
If you don't want the guest there, you can, on your app, crank it the other direction.

387
00:17:36,311 --> 00:17:37,430
So extra heat?

388
00:17:37,591 --> 00:17:37,791
Yeah.

389
00:17:38,111 --> 00:17:39,011
If it's hot out?

390
00:17:39,211 --> 00:17:39,551
Yeah.

391
00:17:40,651 --> 00:17:42,351
So you're getting rid of unwanted visitors?

392
00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:42,691
Yeah.

393
00:17:44,191 --> 00:17:46,031
It's just a quick button, like enemy.

394
00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:47,111
It just says enemy.

395
00:17:48,311 --> 00:17:50,531
And you push it and then it really fucks with them.

396
00:17:51,151 --> 00:17:52,531
That's the button of the phone.

397
00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:53,151
Yeah.

398
00:17:53,151 --> 00:17:53,631
Yeah.

399
00:17:54,691 --> 00:18:04,591
you love that part huh the enemy button yeah um i i gotta be honest i don't love that it's

400
00:18:04,591 --> 00:18:09,711
connected to an app because i like to keep things is there a way to do this data free

401
00:18:09,711 --> 00:18:15,231
yeah the uh it can be like a little screen on your next to your front door so you don't use

402
00:18:15,231 --> 00:18:20,071
your phone just like it's just software it's like a computer okay so it could still be like a closed

403
00:18:20,071 --> 00:18:24,371
circuit so i could be standing on the other side of the door just an enemy enemy enemy all right i

404
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:33,051
like that yeah um i would definitely oh could it say enemy too as it's getting hotter outside enemy

405
00:18:33,051 --> 00:18:40,611
wait here's the thing i didn't tell you before it also comes with a pneumatic tube like the

406
00:18:40,611 --> 00:18:44,511
old-fashioned banks oh i love a good pneumatic tube right so people are there to like give you

407
00:18:44,511 --> 00:18:52,511
something or like literature you could be like just put it in the tube and um no jenna

408
00:18:52,511 --> 00:18:54,831
writing it down

409
00:18:54,831 --> 00:18:56,651
you could just put it in the tube

410
00:18:56,651 --> 00:18:58,331
and it's funny because if you don't want it

411
00:18:58,331 --> 00:19:00,391
you've already hit the enemy button

412
00:19:00,391 --> 00:19:02,731
so if you want the mail

413
00:19:02,731 --> 00:19:04,191
it comes into your house but if you hit enemy

414
00:19:04,191 --> 00:19:06,571
it goes up and back in their face

415
00:19:06,571 --> 00:19:09,091
that would be so funny

416
00:19:09,091 --> 00:19:09,811
it would be funny

417
00:19:09,811 --> 00:19:15,831
yeah it reminds me of like a cartoony thing

418
00:19:15,831 --> 00:19:19,531
is it a cartoony

419
00:19:19,531 --> 00:19:22,131
where like letters go flying out

420
00:19:22,131 --> 00:19:22,851
at somebody's face.

421
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:22,971
Yeah, yeah.

422
00:19:23,051 --> 00:19:23,831
I've seen that in a cartoon.

423
00:19:24,011 --> 00:19:24,251
Okay.

424
00:19:24,471 --> 00:19:24,711
Yeah.

425
00:19:24,891 --> 00:19:25,430
I like that.

426
00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:27,271
I don't want this male.

427
00:19:27,971 --> 00:19:28,371
Enemy.

428
00:19:29,731 --> 00:19:30,811
This male's my enemy.

429
00:19:31,491 --> 00:19:33,430
This male's my enemy.

430
00:19:34,930 --> 00:19:37,331
Do you apologize

431
00:19:37,331 --> 00:19:38,191
at the pod for that?

432
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,031
Do you have a name

433
00:19:41,031 --> 00:19:41,991
for this invention?

434
00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:46,671
Nope.

435
00:19:47,711 --> 00:19:48,351
Oh, Joe?

436
00:19:48,971 --> 00:19:49,831
Buds of the house.

437
00:19:49,831 --> 00:19:52,991
you could make it a button

438
00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:54,131
separate from the doorbell

439
00:19:54,131 --> 00:19:55,811
you could

440
00:19:55,811 --> 00:19:58,351
but what if they were too stupid to push it

441
00:19:58,351 --> 00:19:59,631
that's on them I guess

442
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,611
and what do they do

443
00:20:01,611 --> 00:20:03,171
then they are my enemy

444
00:20:03,171 --> 00:20:05,211
what do they do in visiting my house

445
00:20:05,211 --> 00:20:06,951
what about

446
00:20:06,951 --> 00:20:08,911
something about welcome

447
00:20:08,911 --> 00:20:11,171
welcome Matt

448
00:20:11,171 --> 00:20:11,811
welcome

449
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:14,571
cool welcome

450
00:20:14,571 --> 00:20:15,831
welcome

451
00:20:15,831 --> 00:20:17,831
comfort

452
00:20:17,831 --> 00:20:23,771
warm welcome

453
00:20:23,771 --> 00:20:26,891
warm welcome

454
00:20:26,891 --> 00:20:30,211
oh joe

455
00:20:30,211 --> 00:20:32,031
warm welcome

456
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,551
I love it

457
00:20:34,551 --> 00:20:41,111
oh yes

458
00:20:41,111 --> 00:20:42,071
alright

459
00:20:42,071 --> 00:20:43,451
to joe

460
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:44,611
to joe

461
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,071
joe say it

462
00:20:46,071 --> 00:20:50,251
to Joe.

463
00:20:50,951 --> 00:20:51,471
Wow.

464
00:20:52,211 --> 00:20:54,311
You're making Joe schmooze himself?

465
00:20:55,091 --> 00:20:55,571
Yeah.

466
00:20:56,471 --> 00:20:57,471
That was great.

467
00:20:58,011 --> 00:20:58,711
That was really good.

468
00:20:59,931 --> 00:21:00,991
That's nice, though.

469
00:21:01,111 --> 00:21:01,911
That was good.

470
00:21:02,031 --> 00:21:04,431
Okay, I don't even think we need to workshop any other names.

471
00:21:04,531 --> 00:21:05,231
Hell to the now.

472
00:21:06,151 --> 00:21:06,911
Warm Welcome

473
00:21:06,911 --> 00:21:11,071
is probably available now.

474
00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:12,491
Everyone's going to want...

475
00:21:12,491 --> 00:21:13,431
I mean, I would want this.

476
00:21:13,751 --> 00:21:14,411
I know you would.

477
00:21:16,071 --> 00:21:17,571
You'd want it for me, at least.

478
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:18,011
Yeah.

479
00:21:19,371 --> 00:21:21,931
Yeah, my only concern is that people are going to abuse it.

480
00:21:21,971 --> 00:21:23,651
They're going to come up and they're going to like...

481
00:21:23,651 --> 00:21:26,311
It doesn't do anything after the first push.

482
00:21:26,311 --> 00:21:29,051
And they only have a maximum of five minutes.

483
00:21:30,311 --> 00:21:31,731
Wait, so someone pushes it and then they got...

484
00:21:31,731 --> 00:21:33,611
Then people would be congregating at your door.

485
00:21:34,571 --> 00:21:38,131
Like, I live near a high school and the high school students,

486
00:21:38,751 --> 00:21:43,371
like, they, like, walk in the neighborhood once school is out.

487
00:21:43,371 --> 00:21:46,031
and I can totally see like when it's hot outside

488
00:21:46,031 --> 00:21:48,171
some punk high school

489
00:21:48,171 --> 00:21:49,631
kid just standing in my doorway

490
00:21:49,631 --> 00:21:51,431
pressing the button and five minutes of air

491
00:21:51,431 --> 00:21:53,231
just like hanging out in my doorway

492
00:21:53,231 --> 00:21:57,111
and I'm not going to abuse it

493
00:21:57,111 --> 00:21:59,091
high school kids wouldn't do that

494
00:21:59,091 --> 00:22:00,711
you're right

495
00:22:00,711 --> 00:22:02,071
they have somewhere to go

496
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:02,751
home

497
00:22:02,751 --> 00:22:06,511
they're going to be doing that

498
00:22:06,511 --> 00:22:08,551
on the buttons of their own house

499
00:22:08,551 --> 00:22:12,531
plus you can also alter it

500
00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:13,151
to be like

501
00:22:13,151 --> 00:22:14,411
not that comfortable

502
00:22:14,411 --> 00:22:15,451
but more comfortable

503
00:22:15,451 --> 00:22:16,271
than the air.

504
00:22:16,811 --> 00:22:17,271
It's like gonna be like

505
00:22:17,271 --> 00:22:18,051
super ice cold

506
00:22:18,051 --> 00:22:18,491
if you want.

507
00:22:18,611 --> 00:22:19,231
You could make it.

508
00:22:20,711 --> 00:22:21,431
I just realized

509
00:22:21,431 --> 00:22:21,971
is this something

510
00:22:21,971 --> 00:22:22,451
that they do

511
00:22:22,451 --> 00:22:23,331
in office buildings?

512
00:22:23,471 --> 00:22:23,731
Like you know

513
00:22:23,731 --> 00:22:24,091
when there's like

514
00:22:24,091 --> 00:22:24,831
sliding doors

515
00:22:24,831 --> 00:22:25,651
and then you walk in

516
00:22:25,651 --> 00:22:26,331
and then there's air

517
00:22:26,331 --> 00:22:27,551
like blowing down

518
00:22:27,551 --> 00:22:27,971
at you?

519
00:22:28,131 --> 00:22:29,211
No, that's not a joke.

520
00:22:29,471 --> 00:22:30,351
That's not what they do.

521
00:22:31,671 --> 00:22:32,751
They blow air

522
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:34,871
to stop bugs

523
00:22:34,871 --> 00:22:35,671
from coming in.

524
00:22:35,751 --> 00:22:36,691
It's not to keep you cool.

525
00:22:36,991 --> 00:22:37,311
Oh.

526
00:22:37,491 --> 00:22:37,911
And it's only while

527
00:22:37,911 --> 00:22:38,751
you're walking through it.

528
00:22:38,751 --> 00:22:39,831
This is my thing.

529
00:22:40,631 --> 00:22:41,751
This isn't Sam's Club.

530
00:22:42,131 --> 00:22:42,471
Okay.

531
00:22:43,151 --> 00:22:45,071
I invented this.

532
00:22:46,411 --> 00:22:46,751
Okay.

533
00:22:47,791 --> 00:22:49,731
Yeah, Sam, you piece of shit.

534
00:22:49,891 --> 00:22:50,571
This isn't yours.

535
00:22:51,331 --> 00:22:52,311
This is Francis's.

536
00:22:52,651 --> 00:22:55,051
Yeah, no, I was saying because I invented Sam's Club that one time.

537
00:22:55,211 --> 00:22:55,431
Yeah.

538
00:22:56,711 --> 00:22:59,151
Well, Sam invented it, but then you reinvented it.

539
00:23:01,151 --> 00:23:03,231
I just want to be someone.

540
00:23:04,971 --> 00:23:06,731
All right, well, good.

541
00:23:06,831 --> 00:23:07,511
Well, warm welcome.

542
00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:09,431
Definitely, it's available now.

543
00:23:10,271 --> 00:23:12,011
Go to veryfinefriends.com.

544
00:23:12,031 --> 00:23:12,871
And nowhere else.

545
00:23:13,151 --> 00:23:15,031
Oh, no, you can't get this anywhere else.

546
00:23:15,171 --> 00:23:17,111
We might allow Costco to sell.

547
00:23:17,891 --> 00:23:19,271
But not Sam's Club.

548
00:23:19,411 --> 00:23:22,871
No, after what they did to me passively through no action of their own.

549
00:23:23,711 --> 00:23:25,231
That's the worst kind of action.

550
00:23:25,451 --> 00:23:29,791
At least if someone takes active action, you know.

551
00:23:30,211 --> 00:23:31,011
They're thinking of you.

552
00:23:31,351 --> 00:23:34,571
Well, yeah, and it's like they had to put in a little bit of work and, you know.

553
00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:36,351
But passive action?

554
00:23:36,571 --> 00:23:36,971
Boo.

555
00:23:38,511 --> 00:23:39,031
Mm-hmm.

556
00:23:39,831 --> 00:23:43,011
All right, well, that wraps up.

557
00:23:43,011 --> 00:23:44,991
another invention of the week.

558
00:23:46,431 --> 00:23:48,411
And a successful one too, I think.

559
00:23:48,591 --> 00:23:49,171
Totes agrees.

560
00:23:51,371 --> 00:23:52,431
Degrees of welcome.

561
00:23:52,831 --> 00:23:54,651
Yours was way better, but I wish I said

562
00:23:54,651 --> 00:23:55,751
degrees of welcome first.

563
00:23:56,751 --> 00:23:58,231
Oh, just to get it out there.

564
00:23:58,351 --> 00:23:58,591
Yeah.

565
00:23:59,731 --> 00:24:01,351
But then Joe had to come in and

566
00:24:01,351 --> 00:24:03,971
just steal the show.

567
00:24:04,731 --> 00:24:06,871
Joe's pony was combed, that's for sure.

568
00:24:08,011 --> 00:24:08,531
What?

569
00:24:10,431 --> 00:24:11,831
You know, like in horse shows?

570
00:24:11,831 --> 00:24:13,751
Is that a phrase?

571
00:24:14,511 --> 00:24:16,911
No, I just came up with it.

572
00:24:17,051 --> 00:24:17,611
Okay.

573
00:24:18,411 --> 00:24:21,751
You know, like, you want to ride the most combed pony.

574
00:24:26,151 --> 00:24:26,711
Okay.

575
00:24:27,611 --> 00:24:31,231
Well, on that note, it's time for our next segment.

576
00:24:32,711 --> 00:24:33,851
Excuse me?

577
00:24:36,371 --> 00:24:37,191
That's it.

578
00:24:37,831 --> 00:24:38,371
Nailed it.

579
00:24:38,871 --> 00:24:39,611
Thank you.

580
00:24:41,831 --> 00:24:46,211
Um, excuse me.

581
00:24:47,211 --> 00:24:57,371
In this segment, we're going to be asking each other for favors, and I don't know, we might, we maybe, we will be able to help each other, maybe we won't.

582
00:24:57,451 --> 00:24:58,111
We'll just see.

583
00:24:59,251 --> 00:25:00,411
Yeah, we'll just see.

584
00:25:01,431 --> 00:25:02,211
Hey, Francis.

585
00:25:02,571 --> 00:25:02,991
Hey, Jenna.

586
00:25:04,051 --> 00:25:06,771
Could you do me, like, a huge, huge favor?

587
00:25:07,911 --> 00:25:09,131
What is it?

588
00:25:09,131 --> 00:25:18,851
I have, I have, I'm having a bunch of people over for a fancy dinner and I need to stuff a turkey.

589
00:25:20,291 --> 00:25:23,051
Could you, could you help me stuff a turkey?

590
00:25:23,871 --> 00:25:25,111
Can I help you stuff a turkey?

591
00:25:25,111 --> 00:25:27,471
Yeah, if you wouldn't mind, that'd be like a huge help.

592
00:25:28,251 --> 00:25:30,151
I really grab the giblets.

593
00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:32,611
I would.

594
00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:36,351
However, and I know you couldn't possibly have known this.

595
00:25:39,131 --> 00:25:41,691
I met a turkey once.

596
00:25:42,431 --> 00:25:43,331
Oh, yeah.

597
00:25:43,691 --> 00:25:45,811
Oh, so you're intimately familiar with turkeys,

598
00:25:45,951 --> 00:25:47,191
so this should be great for you.

599
00:25:47,291 --> 00:25:49,551
Yeah, except I was in the woods and I was out of water

600
00:25:49,551 --> 00:25:51,431
and I thought I was going to die, and I screamed out,

601
00:25:51,731 --> 00:25:53,811
Lord, help.

602
00:25:54,671 --> 00:25:56,151
And the turkey came.

603
00:25:57,351 --> 00:26:00,571
And the turkey had a translator.

604
00:26:01,151 --> 00:26:01,491
Okay.

605
00:26:01,751 --> 00:26:03,631
I don't mean like a person, I mean like a device.

606
00:26:04,251 --> 00:26:04,891
Oh, sure.

607
00:26:05,071 --> 00:26:08,411
And it communicated with me and actually led me to safety.

608
00:26:08,411 --> 00:26:12,571
so I couldn't possibly touch the giblets of a turkey

609
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,051
after what it's done for me.

610
00:26:14,131 --> 00:26:15,851
I married a turkey after that.

611
00:26:16,591 --> 00:26:17,431
Oh, wow.

612
00:26:17,631 --> 00:26:19,731
Yeah, so what you're asking is...

613
00:26:19,731 --> 00:26:22,811
Well, and I forgot to mention this is the turkey that you married,

614
00:26:23,311 --> 00:26:26,471
so that would probably be awkward.

615
00:26:26,591 --> 00:26:27,131
I understand.

616
00:26:27,551 --> 00:26:31,091
My heart's broken and my tears are streaming, but I can't.

617
00:26:31,831 --> 00:26:34,671
Well, if you could just put your eyeballs over the turkey,

618
00:26:34,671 --> 00:26:37,051
it would help brine the turkey, the tears will.

619
00:26:37,051 --> 00:26:39,291
I can't

620
00:26:39,291 --> 00:26:41,271
I told you I was married to a turkey

621
00:26:41,271 --> 00:26:42,211
now I'm single

622
00:26:42,211 --> 00:26:46,451
I'm not going to touch the gaveless of my dead spouse

623
00:26:46,451 --> 00:26:47,391
okay

624
00:26:47,391 --> 00:26:48,991
alright

625
00:26:48,991 --> 00:26:52,031
I guess I'll stuff that bird myself

626
00:26:52,031 --> 00:26:53,531
I'm calling the police

627
00:26:53,531 --> 00:26:54,371
bye

628
00:26:54,371 --> 00:26:55,951
hey Jenna

629
00:26:55,951 --> 00:26:59,191
do you have a second?

630
00:26:59,291 --> 00:26:59,871
can I talk to you?

631
00:26:59,871 --> 00:27:00,651
oh sure

632
00:27:00,651 --> 00:27:05,831
I was injured

633
00:27:06,591 --> 00:27:08,891
You can probably tell most of my arms are in full body casts.

634
00:27:09,011 --> 00:27:09,891
Yeah, I can see that.

635
00:27:09,951 --> 00:27:10,891
I can't do anything with them.

636
00:27:11,851 --> 00:27:12,211
Touchdown.

637
00:27:13,171 --> 00:27:13,891
That's so funny.

638
00:27:14,211 --> 00:27:14,791
That is funny.

639
00:27:14,891 --> 00:27:15,431
That's a good one.

640
00:27:15,651 --> 00:27:16,991
I'd high five you, but I can't move.

641
00:27:17,271 --> 00:27:18,051
I can come to you.

642
00:27:19,051 --> 00:27:19,871
Oh, nice.

643
00:27:20,111 --> 00:27:20,271
Ow.

644
00:27:21,691 --> 00:27:26,191
I was wondering, could you take my socks and shoes off and rub my feet?

645
00:27:30,271 --> 00:27:33,371
Because the doctor said that the muscles are going to atrophy in my foot.

646
00:27:33,371 --> 00:27:39,311
and just so you know on one of my feet i only have a big toe and a pinky you think it would

647
00:27:39,311 --> 00:27:47,311
look weird but it's kind of cool um it's not a touchdown situation so uh wait so you your feet

648
00:27:47,311 --> 00:27:52,691
are going to atrophy because your arms are in casts because i can't move because the cast actually is

649
00:27:52,691 --> 00:27:59,251
is is fastened at the base of my spine it's hard to explain because you probably are

650
00:27:59,251 --> 00:28:12,431
not versed in I'm castless final lore yeah yeah um anyway I'm ready uh I I would um except uh

651
00:28:12,431 --> 00:28:18,871
when I was um you know when kindergarten like they get you early with those like

652
00:28:18,871 --> 00:28:24,091
those dare to keep kids off drugs pledges or whatever where they have you like sign stuff

653
00:28:24,091 --> 00:28:30,971
um yeah yeah i know um well i they got me early with a different kind of pledge

654
00:28:30,971 --> 00:28:40,211
i signed one of those um i i signed a thing where i'm not allowed to touch toes except for outside

655
00:28:40,211 --> 00:28:45,771
of the context of doing this little piggy went to market and it has to be just for that like you

656
00:28:45,771 --> 00:28:52,171
can't use that as an excuse to touch toes it's like the the contract is like it's it's airtight

657
00:28:52,171 --> 00:28:55,091
I've had lawyers look at it and I just, I'm sorry, I can't.

658
00:28:55,271 --> 00:28:55,751
Are you lying?

659
00:28:56,051 --> 00:28:56,591
No, I'm not.

660
00:28:56,691 --> 00:28:57,691
This is dead serious.

661
00:28:57,891 --> 00:28:59,531
Do you want me to pull out the contract?

662
00:28:59,651 --> 00:29:00,751
I have the contract right here.

663
00:29:01,071 --> 00:29:01,811
Yeah, show it to me.

664
00:29:02,051 --> 00:29:02,631
Yeah, it's right here.

665
00:29:02,871 --> 00:29:03,591
Why do you have it with you?

666
00:29:04,111 --> 00:29:08,311
Because I carry it with me everywhere because people are constantly asking me to touch their toes.

667
00:29:08,411 --> 00:29:08,591
Okay.

668
00:29:08,791 --> 00:29:09,691
And I'm sorry.

669
00:29:09,811 --> 00:29:11,771
I just, I can't do it right now.

670
00:29:11,851 --> 00:29:12,331
I'm sorry.

671
00:29:12,331 --> 00:29:18,791
until I can track down that little piggy winter market dealer

672
00:29:18,791 --> 00:29:22,771
that came to our school that long ago.

673
00:29:23,171 --> 00:29:24,311
I'm just stuck.

674
00:29:24,731 --> 00:29:25,171
I'm sorry.

675
00:29:25,231 --> 00:29:26,951
Is there any exception for a touchdown feed?

676
00:29:27,351 --> 00:29:28,191
Oh, no, no.

677
00:29:28,311 --> 00:29:33,511
It's actually specifically it says after official review,

678
00:29:34,051 --> 00:29:36,211
the ruling on the field is reversed, no touchdown.

679
00:29:37,671 --> 00:29:38,891
Okay, I guess I'll just.

680
00:29:38,891 --> 00:29:39,711
They made it whimsy.

681
00:29:39,771 --> 00:29:41,611
I don't know why they made it whimsical, but they did,

682
00:29:41,611 --> 00:29:43,691
and it still holds up in court.

683
00:29:43,751 --> 00:29:44,831
What school did you go to?

684
00:29:44,911 --> 00:29:47,711
Okay, well, you're the only neighbor around here for 10 miles,

685
00:29:47,831 --> 00:29:49,031
so I guess I'll just...

686
00:29:49,031 --> 00:29:51,131
I'm sorry, just lose those feet then, I guess.

687
00:29:51,151 --> 00:29:52,711
I mean, who's going to know, though, is my question.

688
00:29:55,111 --> 00:29:58,751
I also signed a thing where I'm constantly under surveillance.

689
00:29:59,271 --> 00:30:00,971
It was weird that they had a six-year-old do this,

690
00:30:00,971 --> 00:30:07,851
but it's legally binding, so I would, but I can't.

691
00:30:08,271 --> 00:30:08,911
I'm sorry.

692
00:30:08,911 --> 00:30:15,231
it's it's the difference between you having feet and me going to jail so i'm real sorry i could bail

693
00:30:15,231 --> 00:30:25,511
you out no it's specifically a no bail how starting ow well oh my toes good luck with that buddy help

694
00:30:25,511 --> 00:30:33,611
oh i just gotta write something in my diary jenna is a bitch uh sorry i can't help uh

695
00:30:33,611 --> 00:30:34,411
Who am I supposed to hear that?

696
00:30:35,111 --> 00:30:37,131
I actually have a favor.

697
00:30:37,231 --> 00:30:38,431
I was hoping to ask both of you guys.

698
00:30:38,771 --> 00:30:39,511
Oh, okay.

699
00:30:41,551 --> 00:30:48,971
I'm doing an adult recorder recital just for fun.

700
00:30:48,971 --> 00:30:52,931
I joined a group, and we're having our concert in a couple weeks,

701
00:30:53,331 --> 00:30:58,571
and everyone in the class is going to invite their parents to be there.

702
00:30:58,571 --> 00:31:05,711
but obviously I can't invite my parents because they're both deathly allergic to hearing the

703
00:31:05,711 --> 00:31:13,231
recorder. Yeah. So I was wondering if you guys could attend the adult recorder recital.

704
00:31:13,231 --> 00:31:25,151
What night is it? Thursday. Oh, I can't, I can't do it Thursday. I, um, I, I'm sorry. I,

705
00:31:25,151 --> 00:31:43,171
I, that's the day that I promised the mayor, he's got this huge project where he wants to turn all the roads into railroads so that people don't get to car wrecks.

706
00:31:43,491 --> 00:31:45,811
And I promised I would help him lay the track.

707
00:31:46,011 --> 00:31:46,991
I'm so sorry.

708
00:31:47,491 --> 00:31:48,451
I didn't know you were the mayor.

709
00:31:48,451 --> 00:31:49,791
I, oh, yeah.

710
00:31:49,791 --> 00:31:55,151
Yeah, we're, he thinks we're closer than we actually are.

711
00:31:55,291 --> 00:31:56,931
Like, he thinks I'm one of his best friends.

712
00:31:57,591 --> 00:31:59,911
He kind of annoys me a little bit, if we're being quite honest.

713
00:32:01,091 --> 00:32:03,531
But whatever, I made this promise.

714
00:32:03,531 --> 00:32:23,561
Why are you laying track for him then if he annoys you Because he asked me he gave me this special honor of throwing out the very first pitch the ceremonial pitch at the local farm league team game

715
00:32:24,421 --> 00:32:26,461
And the whole town was there.

716
00:32:27,021 --> 00:32:32,621
And right before he handed me the ball and I was already committed to this and I was really excited to throw out that ceremonial first pitch,

717
00:32:32,621 --> 00:32:39,201
he looked at me and he's like but before we throw this pitch everybody I want you to know

718
00:32:39,201 --> 00:32:48,101
Jenna is amazing she's offered to lay down track to make all of our roads railroads

719
00:32:48,101 --> 00:32:54,021
and she's doing it Thursday and there's no getting out of it everyone give Jenna a big

720
00:32:54,021 --> 00:32:59,861
round of applause so the whole town basically he committed me in front of everybody and I can't get

721
00:32:59,861 --> 00:33:05,001
out of it because then it's like then i'm because the town's really excited for this project and so

722
00:33:05,001 --> 00:33:12,761
otherwise otherwise i'd be there for sure i would totally be there but francis can probably go

723
00:33:12,761 --> 00:33:23,641
yikes um here's the thing when i was a child i was in an accident that involved my tongue

724
00:33:23,641 --> 00:33:29,581
and it stopped the ability of my tongue to produce moisture.

725
00:33:31,521 --> 00:33:32,701
And see how dry that was?

726
00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:39,301
And all I wanted to do as a child was to play the recorder

727
00:33:39,301 --> 00:33:42,761
and I was about to before the accident.

728
00:33:43,581 --> 00:33:44,361
Then I couldn't.

729
00:33:44,421 --> 00:33:47,901
Also, it stopped my lips from being able to do the perfect recorder shape.

730
00:33:49,281 --> 00:33:53,061
So I'm in therapy now for recorder jealousy.

731
00:33:53,641 --> 00:33:56,081
And although I've made significant progress,

732
00:33:57,381 --> 00:34:01,861
I'm not ready to see people living my dream,

733
00:34:02,021 --> 00:34:04,521
especially adults, with a recorder.

734
00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:06,601
Because I'm sure you have a nice plastic one.

735
00:34:07,561 --> 00:34:09,061
I actually collect them still.

736
00:34:09,201 --> 00:34:10,381
I go home every night and I touch them.

737
00:34:11,281 --> 00:34:13,921
And sometimes I hire sex workers to play the recorder.

738
00:34:17,041 --> 00:34:18,161
And then go home.

739
00:34:18,821 --> 00:34:21,901
But I'm not ready to see you doing it as a hobby.

740
00:34:21,901 --> 00:34:23,861
no Francis I have good news for you

741
00:34:23,861 --> 00:34:26,341
I spoke with your therapist just this morning

742
00:34:26,341 --> 00:34:29,781
and your therapist said

743
00:34:29,781 --> 00:34:31,681
it's time for some exposure therapy

744
00:34:31,681 --> 00:34:34,041
and that going to record her

745
00:34:34,041 --> 00:34:35,921
exposure therapy

746
00:34:35,921 --> 00:34:37,261
that so

747
00:34:37,261 --> 00:34:39,401
she can't talk about me like that

748
00:34:39,401 --> 00:34:41,281
that was a violation of my medical records

749
00:34:41,281 --> 00:34:43,001
no no remember you signed over

750
00:34:43,001 --> 00:34:45,481
power of attorney to me

751
00:34:45,481 --> 00:34:47,561
oh yeah

752
00:34:47,561 --> 00:34:49,801
after the turkey incident you said

753
00:34:49,801 --> 00:34:51,701
you didn't want to be responsible for yourself anymore

754
00:34:51,701 --> 00:34:54,201
I didn't think you were going to abuse it like this.

755
00:34:54,341 --> 00:34:54,941
That's not abuse.

756
00:34:55,161 --> 00:34:56,001
I'm helping you, see?

757
00:34:56,521 --> 00:34:57,261
You wouldn't have gone,

758
00:34:57,341 --> 00:34:58,941
and this is clearly the most important thing

759
00:34:58,941 --> 00:35:01,321
that could help you right now.

760
00:35:01,481 --> 00:35:02,501
Oh, you're right.

761
00:35:02,561 --> 00:35:03,541
You said it's at a school, though?

762
00:35:06,401 --> 00:35:06,761
Yeah.

763
00:35:08,421 --> 00:35:09,881
This is kind of a funny story.

764
00:35:10,781 --> 00:35:14,141
I accidentally, I was picking up my nephew from school one day,

765
00:35:14,161 --> 00:35:14,981
but I forgot what he looked like,

766
00:35:15,001 --> 00:35:16,761
and I accidentally abducted the wrong kid.

767
00:35:17,061 --> 00:35:20,341
As a result, I'm not allowed to go there.

768
00:35:21,701 --> 00:35:24,141
Well, I actually spoke to the police.

769
00:35:25,461 --> 00:35:28,261
The statute of limitations is up on that abduction

770
00:35:28,261 --> 00:35:30,401
because the child is now over the age of 18,

771
00:35:30,581 --> 00:35:32,821
and he got a big laugh out of it.

772
00:35:32,881 --> 00:35:35,521
So as an adult, he signed a waiver saying,

773
00:35:35,781 --> 00:35:38,261
no, no, no, in retrospect, that wasn't an abduction.

774
00:35:38,861 --> 00:35:40,901
So you're free to be near schools again.

775
00:35:41,281 --> 00:35:43,501
And Jenna greased the mayor a little bit too.

776
00:35:44,261 --> 00:35:46,321
Oh, my God, thank you for saying mayor.

777
00:35:46,421 --> 00:35:49,881
You just reminded me of the mayor's head was blown off this morning.

778
00:35:49,881 --> 00:35:50,961
I forgot to tell you.

779
00:35:51,721 --> 00:35:52,381
Oh, no.

780
00:35:52,661 --> 00:35:54,361
So your afternoon just cleared up.

781
00:35:55,881 --> 00:35:59,601
Oh, no, because I helped the mayor draft his will,

782
00:35:59,701 --> 00:36:01,701
and he said in the event of my untimely death,

783
00:36:02,301 --> 00:36:07,301
nothing is more important to me than making the roads railroads.

784
00:36:08,161 --> 00:36:14,581
So I can't, and he's putting it in his will that no matter what,

785
00:36:14,641 --> 00:36:16,741
on Thursday, this project must go on.

786
00:36:17,341 --> 00:36:18,521
Oh, that's lucky.

787
00:36:18,521 --> 00:36:21,201
no it's really very unlucky for the mayor

788
00:36:21,201 --> 00:36:23,341
yeah well he was unpopular

789
00:36:23,341 --> 00:36:25,201
and it's unlucky for me

790
00:36:25,201 --> 00:36:26,901
because I want to go to your recorder concert

791
00:36:26,901 --> 00:36:28,261
I really want to

792
00:36:28,261 --> 00:36:29,021
oh boy

793
00:36:29,021 --> 00:36:31,021
you know what I literally

794
00:36:31,021 --> 00:36:32,881
just this moment

795
00:36:32,881 --> 00:36:34,601
remembered

796
00:36:34,601 --> 00:36:37,301
tell me

797
00:36:37,301 --> 00:36:39,681
I just remembered

798
00:36:39,681 --> 00:36:41,581
that I had

799
00:36:41,581 --> 00:36:43,581
I don't know if you know this but I've had prophetic dreams

800
00:36:43,581 --> 00:36:44,961
in the past I try not to

801
00:36:44,961 --> 00:36:47,441
put too much stock in them

802
00:36:47,441 --> 00:36:47,861
but

803
00:36:47,861 --> 00:36:57,141
they all come true. And last night, I dreamed that if I hear a recorder, my eardrums will explode

804
00:36:57,141 --> 00:37:05,581
and as will my eyes and as will my eardrums of one friend who's unknown to me.

805
00:37:05,581 --> 00:37:08,641
Could be any one of you. So to protect you and me.

806
00:37:11,541 --> 00:37:16,881
No, I mean, I get it. I told you my parents are deathly allergic to hearing the sound of recorders.

807
00:37:16,881 --> 00:37:18,081
They're the same way.

808
00:37:18,381 --> 00:37:19,321
Proof of my dream.

809
00:37:21,061 --> 00:37:21,501
Sure.

810
00:37:24,341 --> 00:37:24,781
Well.

811
00:37:25,081 --> 00:37:27,061
Look, I know you two would never lie to me.

812
00:37:27,401 --> 00:37:27,621
No.

813
00:37:28,581 --> 00:37:35,121
If you can't make it, I know it's because you tried to move heaven and hell, but you couldn't make it work.

814
00:37:35,461 --> 00:37:36,021
And it's fine.

815
00:37:36,081 --> 00:37:36,501
I understand.

816
00:37:37,581 --> 00:37:38,261
Thank you.

817
00:37:38,361 --> 00:37:38,821
Good friend.

818
00:37:39,421 --> 00:37:39,801
Good man.

819
00:37:39,881 --> 00:37:40,441
Jolly good man.

820
00:37:42,241 --> 00:37:43,721
Hey, Jenna and Joe.

821
00:37:44,041 --> 00:37:44,421
Yeah.

822
00:37:44,421 --> 00:37:48,941
I am doing this pyramid scheme

823
00:37:48,941 --> 00:37:54,881
where I have to sign up to donate my organs

824
00:37:54,881 --> 00:37:58,161
and I only get the money

825
00:37:58,161 --> 00:37:59,101
we're selling them now

826
00:37:59,101 --> 00:38:04,081
if I get two friends to agree to donate their organs as well

827
00:38:04,081 --> 00:38:06,341
don't worry though, it's after you die

828
00:38:06,341 --> 00:38:09,181
so no harm on you

829
00:38:09,181 --> 00:38:12,941
I'm sure you're eager to help out a lot of people

830
00:38:12,941 --> 00:38:15,361
So just sign here and we'll be good.

831
00:38:15,941 --> 00:38:17,941
Ooh, I would.

832
00:38:18,881 --> 00:38:21,241
But I, here's the thing.

833
00:38:22,761 --> 00:38:23,321
No.

834
00:38:25,821 --> 00:38:27,481
You know Stephen Hawking?

835
00:38:28,741 --> 00:38:29,141
Uh-huh.

836
00:38:30,301 --> 00:38:31,261
He's dead.

837
00:38:31,621 --> 00:38:32,661
I know, I know.

838
00:38:32,961 --> 00:38:34,801
Well, only kind of.

839
00:38:35,601 --> 00:38:37,001
They're keeping him on ice.

840
00:38:37,001 --> 00:38:45,121
and I promise to donate everything to him already when I die.

841
00:38:45,541 --> 00:38:47,341
They're going to reanimate Stephen Hawking.

842
00:38:48,061 --> 00:38:50,901
But do you really think one person should get all your organs?

843
00:38:51,141 --> 00:38:52,261
Do you think it's fair to spread it out?

844
00:38:52,261 --> 00:38:56,381
Yes, because then it's better if it's just all from one person.

845
00:38:57,321 --> 00:38:57,921
I'm sorry.

846
00:38:58,161 --> 00:39:00,701
He explained it when he was still alive.

847
00:39:01,261 --> 00:39:04,621
He said it way better and more mechanically.

848
00:39:05,381 --> 00:39:08,841
But I would, but I can't because they're already problems.

849
00:39:08,841 --> 00:39:09,541
Because you, okay.

850
00:39:09,961 --> 00:39:17,301
I can't really argue with that, but I will say he was actually my godfather, Stephen Hawking.

851
00:39:18,661 --> 00:39:27,421
And right before he was cryogenically frozen, he told me that he would never take the organs of a woman.

852
00:39:28,621 --> 00:39:31,121
He was a huge misogynist.

853
00:39:31,261 --> 00:39:32,101
Yes, yes.

854
00:39:32,101 --> 00:39:34,641
It actually, he even said the phrase to me last resort.

855
00:39:35,841 --> 00:39:42,121
So I know you're doing something noble, but I couldn't let, I couldn't let you go forward

856
00:39:42,121 --> 00:39:43,301
knowing he didn't really want them.

857
00:39:43,661 --> 00:39:46,841
So now that you know, he doesn't really want them and there's other people that are going

858
00:39:46,841 --> 00:39:47,921
to be way more grateful.

859
00:39:48,121 --> 00:39:49,121
I'm sure you're going to change your mind.

860
00:39:49,321 --> 00:39:50,201
Here's the thing though.

861
00:39:51,021 --> 00:39:54,641
He thought that I was a man because I was doing a Victor Victoria thing.

862
00:39:54,641 --> 00:40:03,821
and it's been my dream to successfully trick a misogynist into taking my organs even though

863
00:40:03,821 --> 00:40:15,581
I'm a lady and so if I don't put them inside Stephen Hawking then I my dream won't be fulfilled

864
00:40:15,581 --> 00:40:22,461
and then but then they'll all then everything inside of me actually dies anyway and then none

865
00:40:22,461 --> 00:40:24,541
of it's usable so I have to fulfill this

866
00:40:24,541 --> 00:40:24,901
dream

867
00:40:24,901 --> 00:40:28,641
I'm so sorry I can't

868
00:40:28,641 --> 00:40:29,621
don't feel bad about this

869
00:40:29,621 --> 00:40:32,621
you know how it is it's a Victor Victoria thing I gotta do it

870
00:40:32,621 --> 00:40:34,001
I understand

871
00:40:34,001 --> 00:40:35,861
but what you don't know is that

872
00:40:35,861 --> 00:40:38,321
as he lay dying I had a

873
00:40:38,321 --> 00:40:40,481
ruler and a

874
00:40:40,481 --> 00:40:41,861
body measuring tape and

875
00:40:41,861 --> 00:40:44,721
I measured

876
00:40:44,721 --> 00:40:46,301
his organ cavities

877
00:40:46,301 --> 00:40:47,901
and yours are just not gonna fit

878
00:40:47,901 --> 00:40:49,361
they don't fit

879
00:40:49,361 --> 00:40:51,081
they don't fit

880
00:40:51,081 --> 00:40:54,481
here's the other thing though

881
00:40:54,481 --> 00:40:57,481
is that

882
00:40:57,481 --> 00:41:02,241
his insides are made of rubber

883
00:41:02,241 --> 00:41:03,381
naturally

884
00:41:03,381 --> 00:41:07,281
so they can expand and contract as needed to fit

885
00:41:07,281 --> 00:41:10,221
oh I forgot all British people's internal organ cavities are

886
00:41:10,221 --> 00:41:11,681
was he British? I don't know

887
00:41:11,681 --> 00:41:14,381
it's hard to tell without an accent

888
00:41:14,381 --> 00:41:16,221
it's hard to tell

889
00:41:16,221 --> 00:41:19,401
so

890
00:41:19,401 --> 00:41:23,101
but Joe could probably do it

891
00:41:23,101 --> 00:41:23,961
oh okay

892
00:41:23,961 --> 00:41:24,901
hey Joe

893
00:41:24,901 --> 00:41:26,241
you're cool right

894
00:41:26,241 --> 00:41:28,401
one person is better than no people

895
00:41:28,401 --> 00:41:29,681
I'm sure I can still get some points

896
00:41:29,681 --> 00:41:31,281
alright

897
00:41:31,281 --> 00:41:33,021
alright

898
00:41:33,021 --> 00:41:34,221
there you go

899
00:41:34,221 --> 00:41:34,721
wait

900
00:41:34,721 --> 00:41:36,941
are you implying with your accent

901
00:41:36,941 --> 00:41:38,481
that your organs are rubbery

902
00:41:38,481 --> 00:41:39,501
or what are we doing here

903
00:41:39,501 --> 00:41:40,541
yeah

904
00:41:40,541 --> 00:41:44,341
I feel him snishing and strushing in there right now

905
00:41:44,341 --> 00:41:45,861
well there was no

906
00:41:45,861 --> 00:41:46,961
there was no um

907
00:41:46,961 --> 00:41:48,141
hey I got a yes

908
00:41:48,141 --> 00:41:49,401
Why am I fighting a yes?

909
00:41:49,401 --> 00:41:49,721
I don't know.

910
00:41:49,781 --> 00:41:50,661
God bless you.

911
00:41:51,001 --> 00:41:59,181
Well, I guess when you get a yes, that's the end of Excuse Me.

912
00:42:02,901 --> 00:42:03,421
Oh!

913
00:42:04,001 --> 00:42:06,021
Consider yourself excused.

914
00:42:07,021 --> 00:42:12,101
Well, sorry about that, Frances, but I'd love to help you out, but I just couldn't have.

915
00:42:12,441 --> 00:42:13,141
So, anyway.

916
00:42:13,361 --> 00:42:13,921
It's not your fault.

917
00:42:14,081 --> 00:42:15,201
You're selfish with your organs.

918
00:42:15,201 --> 00:42:18,341
No, I'm very specifically not

919
00:42:18,341 --> 00:42:20,321
You're giving him all to one person

920
00:42:20,321 --> 00:42:21,981
Yeah, sorry

921
00:42:21,981 --> 00:42:22,641
It's okay

922
00:42:22,641 --> 00:42:26,761
Oh, just in, his body was burned into a cryogenic facility fire

923
00:42:26,761 --> 00:42:29,581
But hey, what do I know?

924
00:42:29,721 --> 00:42:30,601
I'm just some godson

925
00:42:30,601 --> 00:42:33,761
Yeah, well, I guess we'll never know

926
00:42:33,761 --> 00:42:36,781
Unless, and we'll never find out the answer

927
00:42:36,781 --> 00:42:41,721
Unless, for whatever reason, that's the big question

928
00:42:41,721 --> 00:42:54,241
the question is very big oh i hope it's not the big question i also don't have one i hope you

929
00:42:54,241 --> 00:42:59,401
this is the point in the show every week where i go um francis please tell me you have a big question

930
00:42:59,401 --> 00:43:10,401
yep okay that side to side eye look i do though i do you know how some people get murdered i do

931
00:43:10,401 --> 00:43:16,021
know that yeah i was thinking you know that film a perfect murder with michael douglas and gwyneth

932
00:43:16,021 --> 00:43:23,201
paltrow yes i did see it i'm trying to remember it all you need to know is he plotted to have his

933
00:43:23,201 --> 00:43:35,301
wife murdered okay i was thinking yeah what would you do if you found out that your spouse and i

934
00:43:35,301 --> 00:43:39,261
knew your spouse would never do this but hypothetically yeah if you're married to a

935
00:43:39,261 --> 00:43:41,361
different man. Okay. A monster

936
00:43:41,361 --> 00:43:43,281
man. Yeah. And you found out he wanted

937
00:43:43,281 --> 00:43:44,941
to, he had a plot to murder you.

938
00:43:45,741 --> 00:43:46,641
A turkey even.

939
00:43:49,041 --> 00:43:50,801
A turkey with giblets even.

940
00:43:51,341 --> 00:43:52,501
How would you

941
00:43:52,501 --> 00:43:54,941
counteract his murder plan

942
00:43:54,941 --> 00:43:57,141
and murder him instead?

943
00:44:00,341 --> 00:44:00,821
Okay.

944
00:44:01,021 --> 00:44:02,281
Do I know what the plan is?

945
00:44:03,021 --> 00:44:04,721
You just know he hired a hitman.

946
00:44:06,481 --> 00:44:06,921
Okay.

947
00:44:08,341 --> 00:44:08,781
Yikes.

948
00:44:08,781 --> 00:44:09,281
am I right?

949
00:44:09,841 --> 00:44:10,121
Ugh.

950
00:44:11,661 --> 00:44:12,521
Hitmen, boy.

951
00:44:12,761 --> 00:44:13,381
What are we gonna do?

952
00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:14,141
Are they still around?

953
00:44:14,581 --> 00:44:15,581
Yeah, they are.

954
00:44:15,941 --> 00:44:16,561
Necessary evil.

955
00:44:17,581 --> 00:44:19,101
You know, that's what I think.

956
00:44:19,221 --> 00:44:19,541
Are they?

957
00:44:19,821 --> 00:44:20,841
You know, quick aside,

958
00:44:21,021 --> 00:44:21,961
I used to play Grand Theft Auto

959
00:44:21,961 --> 00:44:22,481
when I was a kid.

960
00:44:22,801 --> 00:44:23,001
Yeah.

961
00:44:23,101 --> 00:44:23,981
And then one time I was like,

962
00:44:24,021 --> 00:44:24,621
oh, what do you want to be

963
00:44:24,621 --> 00:44:24,981
when you grow up?

964
00:44:24,981 --> 00:44:25,281
And I was like,

965
00:44:25,301 --> 00:44:26,081
I want to be an assassin.

966
00:44:26,081 --> 00:44:27,841
And he got so mad.

967
00:44:28,721 --> 00:44:28,941
Why?

968
00:44:29,061 --> 00:44:30,281
That's a lofty goal.

969
00:44:30,641 --> 00:44:31,661
Also, they're freelance.

970
00:44:31,801 --> 00:44:32,381
You have so much freedom.

971
00:44:32,441 --> 00:44:32,921
You can go anywhere.

972
00:44:33,121 --> 00:44:33,341
Yeah.

973
00:44:33,541 --> 00:44:34,301
You get to travel,

974
00:44:34,461 --> 00:44:34,981
see the world.

975
00:44:35,081 --> 00:44:35,861
Yeah, you're a 1099.

976
00:44:36,441 --> 00:44:36,681
Yeah.

977
00:44:37,161 --> 00:44:37,421
Yeah.

978
00:44:38,021 --> 00:44:40,861
You're like looking at the dolomites as you're like choking at someone.

979
00:44:41,181 --> 00:44:41,481
Yeah.

980
00:44:41,601 --> 00:44:41,961
Beautiful.

981
00:44:42,301 --> 00:44:42,561
Beautiful.

982
00:44:44,221 --> 00:44:45,761
Lovely weather that time of year.

983
00:44:47,081 --> 00:44:49,181
That time of year we didn't specify.

984
00:44:49,481 --> 00:44:50,361
Yep, correct.

985
00:44:51,001 --> 00:44:52,961
I only take contracts when the weather's good.

986
00:44:55,621 --> 00:44:57,201
Yeah, you're a snowbird assassin.

987
00:45:00,081 --> 00:45:02,341
That needs to be a movie immediately.

988
00:45:06,101 --> 00:45:06,581
Okay.

989
00:45:07,421 --> 00:45:10,541
Well, I'm...

990
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:11,081
Okay.

991
00:45:12,941 --> 00:45:22,081
I would, first of all, get the hitman to work for me.

992
00:45:23,341 --> 00:45:26,901
I would tell him...

993
00:45:26,901 --> 00:45:28,061
The one who your husband hired?

994
00:45:28,141 --> 00:45:28,441
Yes.

995
00:45:28,781 --> 00:45:29,041
Yeah.

996
00:45:29,101 --> 00:45:34,641
I would find out about the hitman and I would be like, hitman, I got a deal for you.

997
00:45:34,661 --> 00:45:35,441
Wait, how'd you find out?

998
00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:40,961
oh i didn't know i didn't tell you how i found out okay i'm sorry i'm just so curious he um

999
00:45:40,961 --> 00:45:44,321
he uh

1000
00:45:44,321 --> 00:45:55,481
left an outgoing recording message and um i had our app installed the one that records outgoing

1001
00:45:55,481 --> 00:46:02,281
messages you know so you could know what you said later didn't we sell that on the pod we sold it

1002
00:46:02,281 --> 00:46:13,141
on the pod and I thank god I can't remember anymore uh it was um drunk dial yeah so he I

1003
00:46:13,141 --> 00:46:21,441
installed that on his phone and I cloned his phone because I I had a feeling he was up to something

1004
00:46:21,441 --> 00:46:25,981
you know he's been distant I at first I just thought it was just run-of-the-mill cheating

1005
00:46:25,981 --> 00:46:27,941
maybe a gambling habit.

1006
00:46:28,261 --> 00:46:29,281
That'd be nice.

1007
00:46:29,721 --> 00:46:33,601
Yeah, so that's why I installed the other app,

1008
00:46:33,901 --> 00:46:38,661
the proximity alert one that you invented.

1009
00:46:38,981 --> 00:46:39,321
Wife alert.

1010
00:46:39,541 --> 00:46:39,981
Wife alert.

1011
00:46:40,041 --> 00:46:42,521
You can tell how many hot people are around him.

1012
00:46:42,701 --> 00:46:43,041
Yes.

1013
00:46:45,741 --> 00:46:49,981
And then, so anyway, I had his phone totally monitored,

1014
00:46:50,341 --> 00:46:52,701
and I hear his outgoing message

1015
00:46:52,701 --> 00:46:55,761
where he lays the whole plot out in voicemail,

1016
00:46:55,761 --> 00:47:04,121
like an idiot anyway with a price even I know but then he also says but I'm negotiable uh you can

1017
00:47:04,121 --> 00:47:10,901
and so it's like okay well if he's negotiable then this hitman has got to be like yeah I'll

1018
00:47:10,901 --> 00:47:16,821
he's probably negotiable too right so I contact the hitman I'm like hey sorry to deal with that

1019
00:47:16,821 --> 00:47:27,981
moron. Here's what we're going to do. You work for me now. And we are going to put a hit on my

1020
00:47:27,981 --> 00:47:32,261
husband instead. Here's how it's going to work. Well, you said this in person, not over the phone

1021
00:47:32,261 --> 00:47:38,441
because you're smart. Oh yeah. I'm not an idiot. Yeah. No phones around, not even in. Yeah. But

1022
00:47:38,441 --> 00:47:42,761
how'd you get ahold of the, did you wait for him to come and kill you or did you find him? I mean,

1023
00:47:42,761 --> 00:47:48,281
I uh well with the wife alert I knew where they were when they finally did meet up in person you

1024
00:47:48,281 --> 00:47:53,881
were right remember when you challenged my the flaw in my plan I know but it it tracked his phone

1025
00:47:53,881 --> 00:47:59,921
and you were right it did work uh and hitman was hot so that thing was going off like crazy so

1026
00:47:59,921 --> 00:48:07,101
I like wait till my husband left then I uh talked to the hitman I'm like first of all good news

1027
00:48:07,101 --> 00:48:19,712
you hot because this thing was going off like crazy great news you hot Just in case you were wondering the app confirmed it And then he was like great I hate working with idiots

1028
00:48:19,812 --> 00:48:21,052
You're clearly smarter than your husband.

1029
00:48:21,132 --> 00:48:22,272
I'd rather kill him than you.

1030
00:48:22,552 --> 00:48:24,632
Boom, bingo, bingo, bongo, we're in.

1031
00:48:26,832 --> 00:48:30,312
And hot hit man to get over the dead husband.

1032
00:48:30,652 --> 00:48:32,412
I mean, even if he said, no, I'm still going to kill you.

1033
00:48:32,592 --> 00:48:33,912
Wouldn't it be nice to be killed by someone hot?

1034
00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:34,772
Oh, yeah.

1035
00:48:34,772 --> 00:48:38,112
Yeah, way better than being killed by just an average looking person.

1036
00:48:39,352 --> 00:48:40,592
Some warty toad.

1037
00:48:41,872 --> 00:48:48,932
So then I have this plan.

1038
00:48:49,092 --> 00:48:54,412
I was like, okay, you look like you'd be a good master of disguise.

1039
00:48:55,432 --> 00:48:56,612
And he's like, I am.

1040
00:48:56,712 --> 00:49:00,912
That's part of my hitman MO is disguises.

1041
00:49:01,132 --> 00:49:03,012
I've got spirit gum on me at all times.

1042
00:49:03,012 --> 00:49:11,812
uh and so i was like i knew you would so i was like my husband is looking for a new therapist

1043
00:49:11,812 --> 00:49:19,092
and he's like i got you covered i know i can see where you're going with this so

1044
00:49:19,092 --> 00:49:30,392
i was like he has a crazy fear of clowns and his last therapist told him just try to avoid clowns

1045
00:49:30,392 --> 00:49:34,152
like, and he's like, that doesn't help. I'm dreaming about clowns. It's getting weird.

1046
00:49:36,932 --> 00:49:43,552
And anyway, so they're all around me all the time. I can't do anything about it. So you need

1047
00:49:43,552 --> 00:49:49,752
to be the new therapist. So we set up a fake office, a therapist's office. The hit man

1048
00:49:49,752 --> 00:49:58,632
dressed up. He looks very Freudian. Like he looks like Freud. Um, then my husband,

1049
00:49:58,632 --> 00:50:02,952
so he kind of trusts him because my husband's like Stephen Hawking, also a misogynist.

1050
00:50:03,452 --> 00:50:08,752
He had a previously, he had a lady therapist, didn't trust her. So now he's like, I know.

1051
00:50:09,332 --> 00:50:14,412
So he comes home all excited and he's like, honey, you'll never guess my therapist, Austrian

1052
00:50:14,412 --> 00:50:21,572
and a man like, just like Freud. And, um, so it was like, great, honey, great. And you should

1053
00:50:21,572 --> 00:50:26,412
really like respect whatever he says and do whatever he says. So after like weeks and weeks

1054
00:50:26,412 --> 00:50:32,472
go by of therapy, intensive therapy. Finally, uh, the hit man, uh, gets to the point where

1055
00:50:32,472 --> 00:50:41,592
he convinces my husband to go to a circus and he takes my husband to a circus and there's like

1056
00:50:41,592 --> 00:50:45,072
freaking out cause the clowns were around, but then he finally gets through it. And it's like

1057
00:50:45,072 --> 00:50:50,852
every week he takes him to a circus again. And finally it's like getting better and better.

1058
00:50:50,852 --> 00:50:53,232
and my husband's feeling better about being around clowns.

1059
00:50:54,032 --> 00:50:58,672
And so finally the hitman, the Freudian hitman,

1060
00:50:59,592 --> 00:51:03,572
he says, hey, you know what?

1061
00:51:03,572 --> 00:51:04,852
You're almost completely cured.

1062
00:51:06,292 --> 00:51:10,652
There's only one thing left for you to do.

1063
00:51:12,772 --> 00:51:17,752
Get into the clown car with a bunch of clowns.

1064
00:51:18,512 --> 00:51:20,092
And my husband's like, no, no, that's too much.

1065
00:51:20,092 --> 00:51:22,092
They pack them into that clown car.

1066
00:51:22,152 --> 00:51:22,872
I can't do it.

1067
00:51:23,192 --> 00:51:24,132
I can't do it.

1068
00:51:24,532 --> 00:51:25,772
And he's like, you can do it.

1069
00:51:27,132 --> 00:51:27,892
You can.

1070
00:51:28,472 --> 00:51:29,412
And you're going to.

1071
00:51:29,612 --> 00:51:32,612
So my husband is like panicking, panicking, freaking out.

1072
00:51:32,672 --> 00:51:34,292
But he's like, look, this is it.

1073
00:51:34,352 --> 00:51:35,832
You could be cured after this.

1074
00:51:36,312 --> 00:51:38,732
Did that female therapist ever promise to cure you?

1075
00:51:38,772 --> 00:51:40,592
Ooh, bringing up the, yeah, that's smart.

1076
00:51:40,612 --> 00:51:43,872
And so then my husband is like, no, you're right.

1077
00:51:44,012 --> 00:51:47,072
We're doing this for the boys, for the men out there.

1078
00:51:47,072 --> 00:51:49,872
Yeah, because he could have even said, oh, I talked to your female therapist

1079
00:51:49,872 --> 00:51:51,172
and she didn't think you could do this.

1080
00:51:52,212 --> 00:51:53,132
Oh, nice.

1081
00:51:53,232 --> 00:51:53,432
Yeah.

1082
00:51:53,652 --> 00:51:54,052
Yeah.

1083
00:51:54,052 --> 00:51:54,372
Yeah.

1084
00:51:54,552 --> 00:51:55,952
Just to really twist that knife.

1085
00:51:56,172 --> 00:51:56,352
Yeah.

1086
00:51:56,352 --> 00:52:03,372
So then the hitman was like, and also, you're doing this all on your own.

1087
00:52:04,112 --> 00:52:05,772
And he was like, no, you've got to be there with me.

1088
00:52:05,812 --> 00:52:07,192
And he's like, I can't be there with you.

1089
00:52:07,792 --> 00:52:09,252
You've got to do this on your own.

1090
00:52:09,992 --> 00:52:14,692
So my husband goes to the circus.

1091
00:52:15,532 --> 00:52:17,152
That point in the circus, you know,

1092
00:52:17,192 --> 00:52:19,772
when they ask for a volunteer to get to the clown car.

1093
00:52:19,772 --> 00:52:21,532
Every circus does it.

1094
00:52:23,812 --> 00:52:25,852
He raises his hand.

1095
00:52:26,032 --> 00:52:32,032
And now what he doesn't know, head clown is my husband.

1096
00:52:32,192 --> 00:52:33,972
Or not my husband, my hit man.

1097
00:52:34,752 --> 00:52:37,732
Head clown is the hit man in new makeup.

1098
00:52:38,172 --> 00:52:39,292
So he gets to choose.

1099
00:52:39,412 --> 00:52:41,632
So there's all these like little kids like pick me, pick me.

1100
00:52:41,772 --> 00:52:43,892
He's starting to love those things.

1101
00:52:43,892 --> 00:52:47,412
Yeah, he's like finally like, oh, I'm coming around.

1102
00:52:47,412 --> 00:52:55,552
so the hitman aka the clown now is like he does a slow point and he goes you he points at my

1103
00:52:55,552 --> 00:52:59,892
husband my husband the spotlight comes on my husband and then my husband's like well i can't

1104
00:52:59,892 --> 00:53:03,372
believe this actually like i'm gonna be doing this i'm gonna be doing this and then he gets

1105
00:53:03,372 --> 00:53:07,612
he kind of reluctantly comes down and like everyone's cheering for him and he's like getting

1106
00:53:07,612 --> 00:53:14,112
built up and he's like yeah i'm gonna do this i'm gonna make this work so then the head clown goes

1107
00:53:14,112 --> 00:53:20,332
please you get in first we get in around you uh and so then my husband

1108
00:53:20,332 --> 00:53:30,912
okay why does he say it seductively we get in around he's a hot hit man he can't turn it off

1109
00:53:30,912 --> 00:53:35,732
okay he can't turn it off it's not his fault i don't i mean trust me you wouldn't want him to

1110
00:53:35,732 --> 00:53:42,032
it's part of his training yeah uh so my husband gets in this tiny little like tiny little car

1111
00:53:42,032 --> 00:53:45,472
and then the head clown's like,

1112
00:53:45,552 --> 00:53:47,332
don't worry, I'll be right next to you.

1113
00:53:47,512 --> 00:53:49,092
But head clown is the hitman.

1114
00:53:51,032 --> 00:53:52,372
How did he manage that?

1115
00:53:53,272 --> 00:53:54,932
He's a really good hitman.

1116
00:53:55,752 --> 00:53:56,992
Inside his nose...

1117
00:53:56,992 --> 00:53:58,492
No, you guys, I'm doing something.

1118
00:53:59,772 --> 00:54:02,032
Inside his nose is...

1119
00:54:03,772 --> 00:54:06,092
His red nose or his real nose?

1120
00:54:06,092 --> 00:54:07,172
His red nose.

1121
00:54:07,312 --> 00:54:08,312
Inside his red nose.

1122
00:54:08,332 --> 00:54:09,172
His little fit nose?

1123
00:54:09,572 --> 00:54:10,292
His...

1124
00:54:10,292 --> 00:54:11,432
That nose?

1125
00:54:12,032 --> 00:54:18,432
If you squeeze it, a little needle comes out.

1126
00:54:20,432 --> 00:54:21,812
A little needle comes out.

1127
00:54:21,912 --> 00:54:22,172
Needle?

1128
00:54:22,512 --> 00:54:25,852
Yeah, like a tiny little needle comes out, and it's imperceptible.

1129
00:54:26,132 --> 00:54:29,632
It's like real quick, like it punctures the skin, but it's got poison on the end of it.

1130
00:54:31,292 --> 00:54:36,692
And so all the clowns are packed into the car, and it's all real close.

1131
00:54:37,092 --> 00:54:38,432
My husband's right next to the hitman.

1132
00:54:38,772 --> 00:54:41,752
And then the hitman says, the car won't start.

1133
00:54:42,032 --> 00:54:43,632
Until you squeeze my nose.

1134
00:54:45,332 --> 00:54:47,252
So my husband, he's in it now.

1135
00:54:47,292 --> 00:54:48,492
He's like, I've got to do this.

1136
00:54:48,532 --> 00:54:50,272
I've got to prove that female therapist wrong.

1137
00:54:50,832 --> 00:54:56,092
So he grabs the clown nose, honks it, makes the noise.

1138
00:54:56,532 --> 00:54:56,732
Huh?

1139
00:54:59,772 --> 00:55:01,632
His skin is punctured, but he doesn't feel it.

1140
00:55:01,912 --> 00:55:02,572
Because of the adrenaline.

1141
00:55:02,832 --> 00:55:03,112
Yes.

1142
00:55:03,452 --> 00:55:07,772
And now the thing about the poison that's in this is it's a slow-acting poison.

1143
00:55:07,972 --> 00:55:10,392
And at first, it creates this sense of euphoria.

1144
00:55:12,032 --> 00:55:14,672
And so then my husband is on top of the world.

1145
00:55:14,972 --> 00:55:16,732
It's a proprietary poison.

1146
00:55:17,632 --> 00:55:18,472
He's very good.

1147
00:55:20,192 --> 00:55:24,772
He's on top of the world and he's in this clown car and the clown car is going around the rings of the circus.

1148
00:55:25,372 --> 00:55:29,312
And everyone's cheering and laughing and then they all get out of the car.

1149
00:55:30,212 --> 00:55:35,392
And my husband and the head clown, a.k.a. the hitman, he gives my husband his big moment.

1150
00:55:35,392 --> 00:55:41,012
And he's like, and a big thanks, a big thanks to Richard or Dick, as I call him.

1151
00:55:42,032 --> 00:55:44,352
big thanks to Richard.

1152
00:55:44,492 --> 00:55:46,352
And then Richard's standing there with his arms up

1153
00:55:46,352 --> 00:55:47,452
and he's like, I can't believe it.

1154
00:55:47,472 --> 00:55:47,872
I did it.

1155
00:55:47,892 --> 00:55:48,232
I did it.

1156
00:55:48,252 --> 00:55:48,792
I'm cured.

1157
00:55:48,932 --> 00:55:49,692
I'm euphoric.

1158
00:55:51,312 --> 00:55:54,152
And then, so he gets into his car

1159
00:55:54,152 --> 00:55:57,292
and he's rushing home.

1160
00:55:59,572 --> 00:56:03,312
And he's rushing home to come tell me what happened.

1161
00:56:05,132 --> 00:56:07,152
And he's still feeling euphoric,

1162
00:56:07,272 --> 00:56:08,412
but then something starts to happen

1163
00:56:08,412 --> 00:56:09,232
and then he's like,

1164
00:56:09,772 --> 00:56:11,112
oh, I'm getting a little sleepy now.

1165
00:56:11,112 --> 00:56:12,092
I'm getting a little sleepy.

1166
00:56:13,092 --> 00:56:16,292
And it's like, so he starts kind of slowing down a little bit.

1167
00:56:17,412 --> 00:56:19,692
And he's going through an intersection.

1168
00:56:20,472 --> 00:56:23,392
And then the hitman T-bones him.

1169
00:56:26,732 --> 00:56:27,752
And then he dies.

1170
00:56:27,992 --> 00:56:28,772
Covering all his bases.

1171
00:56:28,972 --> 00:56:29,372
Nice.

1172
00:56:29,732 --> 00:56:29,912
Yeah.

1173
00:56:30,612 --> 00:56:31,992
I just had one question.

1174
00:56:32,352 --> 00:56:32,612
Yeah.

1175
00:56:34,552 --> 00:56:39,032
When the hitman was the therapist, how did the husband not recognize him?

1176
00:56:39,032 --> 00:56:40,112
Because of the makeup.

1177
00:56:40,252 --> 00:56:41,152
He's a makeup artist.

1178
00:56:41,232 --> 00:56:41,632
Oh, okay.

1179
00:56:41,672 --> 00:56:42,292
He's a makeup artist.

1180
00:56:42,292 --> 00:56:44,292
Remember, he has spirit gum with him at all times.

1181
00:56:45,292 --> 00:56:47,032
What does that have to do with anything?

1182
00:56:47,292 --> 00:56:49,512
Because that's how much of a makeup artist he is.

1183
00:56:49,912 --> 00:56:53,912
He's ready at any moment to put on a fake mustache or a wig.

1184
00:56:54,272 --> 00:56:55,372
Wait, is that a kind of gum?

1185
00:56:55,572 --> 00:56:56,812
Yeah, it's like theater.

1186
00:56:56,992 --> 00:56:58,732
It's like spirit gum is for putting on hair.

1187
00:56:58,732 --> 00:56:59,512
Oh, it's not for chewing?

1188
00:57:00,112 --> 00:57:00,932
No, no, no, no, no.

1189
00:57:01,092 --> 00:57:02,372
It's not like Spirit Airlines.

1190
00:57:02,372 --> 00:57:07,632
It's like the stuff that you use to fix a fake beard onto your cell.

1191
00:57:07,632 --> 00:57:09,172
Oh, oh, oh.

1192
00:57:09,232 --> 00:57:09,952
Yeah, yeah.

1193
00:57:10,672 --> 00:57:12,052
Okay, and then you're free to sleep with him.

1194
00:57:12,992 --> 00:57:13,332
The Hitman?

1195
00:57:13,412 --> 00:57:13,672
Oh, yeah.

1196
00:57:13,752 --> 00:57:14,392
You said he was hot.

1197
00:57:14,472 --> 00:57:14,952
Now you're single.

1198
00:57:15,172 --> 00:57:16,192
Now I'm single, so.

1199
00:57:17,712 --> 00:57:18,352
Thank you, Jenna.

1200
00:57:18,532 --> 00:57:19,712
Two missions accomplished.

1201
00:57:20,652 --> 00:57:21,432
That was beautiful.

1202
00:57:22,092 --> 00:57:22,352
Yeah.

1203
00:57:23,872 --> 00:57:25,912
So that's how I'd do it.

1204
00:57:26,052 --> 00:57:27,332
That's how I did do it, in fact.

1205
00:57:28,812 --> 00:57:29,972
I'm just glad you survived.

1206
00:57:30,332 --> 00:57:30,752
Thank you.

1207
00:57:32,372 --> 00:57:32,932
Me too.

1208
00:57:34,352 --> 00:57:35,172
Hitman's happy too.

1209
00:57:35,172 --> 00:57:38,192
What you forgot to mention was that when he was T-boned,

1210
00:57:38,192 --> 00:57:40,372
his car spun off and hit my car

1211
00:57:40,372 --> 00:57:42,572
and killed me

1212
00:57:42,572 --> 00:57:44,612
because I was on my way to Joe's recorder

1213
00:57:44,612 --> 00:57:46,632
concert. Oh, and that's

1214
00:57:46,632 --> 00:57:48,512
why you can't make it. And Joe's looking

1215
00:57:48,512 --> 00:57:50,112
out in the audience for his

1216
00:57:50,112 --> 00:57:52,412
new dad

1217
00:57:52,412 --> 00:57:53,972
and he's not there.

1218
00:57:54,152 --> 00:57:56,512
I knew you weren't going to pull through so I just

1219
00:57:56,512 --> 00:57:58,212
hired some of

1220
00:57:58,212 --> 00:57:59,592
your sex workers.

1221
00:58:00,852 --> 00:58:01,572
Thank you.

1222
00:58:02,172 --> 00:58:04,352
I have to say, they're expensive

1223
00:58:04,352 --> 00:58:06,492
but they're worth it. And professional.

1224
00:58:07,052 --> 00:58:07,532
Very.

1225
00:58:08,192 --> 00:58:13,592
Well, sounds like we've answered the big question.

1226
00:58:13,972 --> 00:58:14,732
The big question.

1227
00:58:15,212 --> 00:58:15,412
Yeah.

1228
00:58:15,792 --> 00:58:19,932
Well, there's only one thing left to do.

1229
00:58:20,772 --> 00:58:22,892
Francis, secret words time.

1230
00:58:23,132 --> 00:58:23,532
Ooh.

1231
00:58:24,172 --> 00:58:26,332
Secret words.

1232
00:58:28,012 --> 00:58:28,952
This is going to be exciting.

1233
00:58:29,872 --> 00:58:30,232
Okay.

1234
00:58:30,632 --> 00:58:31,572
I have some guesses.

1235
00:58:31,952 --> 00:58:32,632
Okay, let's hear them.

1236
00:58:33,812 --> 00:58:34,632
Oh, I'm scared.

1237
00:58:34,632 --> 00:58:37,972
Okay, well, the first one I wrote down was pneumatic.

1238
00:58:38,192 --> 00:58:39,632
I knew you were going to.

1239
00:58:39,772 --> 00:58:40,672
And you said no?

1240
00:58:40,812 --> 00:58:40,952
No.

1241
00:58:41,032 --> 00:58:41,172
Okay.

1242
00:58:41,692 --> 00:58:43,992
I feel like we've done this before with the word pneumatic.

1243
00:58:44,112 --> 00:58:46,532
One of us has said it, and then the other one's like, that's not my word.

1244
00:58:47,332 --> 00:58:47,692
Okay.

1245
00:58:47,792 --> 00:58:48,912
And then we're like, sure, Jan.

1246
00:58:49,032 --> 00:58:49,572
Scribble, scribble.

1247
00:58:51,892 --> 00:58:54,012
Is your word combed?

1248
00:58:55,372 --> 00:58:55,732
No.

1249
00:58:56,112 --> 00:58:58,032
You just like combed ponies.

1250
00:58:58,512 --> 00:59:00,272
You know what I mean by combed ponies, right?

1251
00:59:00,452 --> 00:59:01,412
The most combed.

1252
00:59:01,412 --> 00:59:01,652
Yeah.

1253
00:59:02,232 --> 00:59:03,812
Combed as in like well-groomed.

1254
00:59:03,912 --> 00:59:04,172
Well-

1255
00:59:04,172 --> 00:59:06,772
I know, but it's just a sort of weird way to say that.

1256
00:59:06,772 --> 00:59:07,992
I've never heard that phrase.

1257
00:59:08,192 --> 00:59:14,792
before the most combed pony the most combed pony you also said it like like you made it sound

1258
00:59:14,792 --> 00:59:22,492
like the combing was the pony's reward for being the best pony it's a part of it don't you want to

1259
00:59:22,492 --> 00:59:31,112
be combed okay all right so it's not combed no yikes i really hope it's not organs because i

1260
00:59:31,112 --> 00:59:35,312
said organs uh it's not organs but i wish it was you and you said that a whole bunch and i was like

1261
00:59:35,312 --> 00:59:39,352
I tried really hard to not say organs and then I accidentally said it once.

1262
00:59:39,692 --> 00:59:41,252
Oof, oof, oof, badoof.

1263
00:59:41,692 --> 00:59:42,592
Is it prophetic?

1264
00:59:44,092 --> 00:59:44,572
No.

1265
00:59:45,232 --> 00:59:45,672
Ugh.

1266
00:59:46,132 --> 00:59:47,692
You really just do have prophetic dreams?

1267
00:59:47,972 --> 00:59:48,612
I've had two.

1268
00:59:49,012 --> 00:59:49,252
Okay.

1269
00:59:49,332 --> 00:59:50,552
Well, those are...

1270
00:59:50,552 --> 00:59:51,492
I have a...

1271
00:59:51,492 --> 00:59:53,992
The only guess I have left is for your decoy word.

1272
00:59:55,452 --> 00:59:55,812
Okay.

1273
00:59:55,812 --> 00:59:57,292
So I'm going to guess your decoy word.

1274
00:59:57,372 --> 00:59:57,752
Let's hear it.

1275
00:59:58,312 --> 00:59:58,752
Tongue?

1276
01:00:00,472 --> 01:00:00,912
No.

1277
01:00:01,272 --> 01:00:01,632
Oh!

1278
01:00:02,332 --> 01:00:04,012
That one I thought I might have been able to guess.

1279
01:00:04,012 --> 01:00:04,292
Okay.

1280
01:00:05,312 --> 01:00:06,592
What were your words?

1281
01:00:07,192 --> 01:00:09,732
My word was improvised.

1282
01:00:12,432 --> 01:00:13,652
That's bullshit.

1283
01:00:14,852 --> 01:00:17,252
This is an improvised podcast.

1284
01:00:17,892 --> 01:00:19,872
I'm sorry, it's a what podcast, Jenna?

1285
01:00:20,012 --> 01:00:20,932
No, it doesn't.

1286
01:00:21,292 --> 01:00:23,032
No, no, no.

1287
01:00:23,352 --> 01:00:23,752
I agree.

1288
01:00:23,812 --> 01:00:25,372
I agree with you on that.

1289
01:00:25,492 --> 01:00:25,992
Thank you.

1290
01:00:26,112 --> 01:00:28,832
But I think it's fine because we don't normally say that.

1291
01:00:28,832 --> 01:00:30,952
That's not like a word we use all the time in our podcast.

1292
01:00:30,952 --> 01:00:33,172
That would be like the word being comedy or podcast.

1293
01:00:33,652 --> 01:00:34,032
I don't know.

1294
01:00:34,032 --> 01:00:36,612
I feel like that's a little, all right, fine, fine.

1295
01:00:36,712 --> 01:00:37,772
But you didn't lose any points.

1296
01:00:38,612 --> 01:00:39,432
No, but.

1297
01:00:39,552 --> 01:00:41,392
You didn't say it until just now.

1298
01:00:41,632 --> 01:00:43,052
You said improvise.

1299
01:00:44,012 --> 01:00:44,412
So.

1300
01:00:45,212 --> 01:00:46,032
You said improvising.

1301
01:00:47,072 --> 01:00:47,252
Yeah.

1302
01:00:47,352 --> 01:00:47,612
Whatever.

1303
01:00:48,852 --> 01:00:49,632
So you're good.

1304
01:00:49,892 --> 01:00:50,432
All right.

1305
01:00:50,532 --> 01:00:52,552
Man, imagine the fight she would have thrown if she'd said it.

1306
01:00:52,792 --> 01:00:53,512
That would have, oh.

1307
01:00:54,852 --> 01:00:56,592
That was like me with overstimulation.

1308
01:00:56,732 --> 01:00:58,672
Like Jesus in the temple, just flip this table over.

1309
01:00:58,852 --> 01:00:59,472
Did he do that?

1310
01:00:59,872 --> 01:01:01,152
Jesus said, get out of my house.

1311
01:01:01,152 --> 01:01:01,912
Jesus got mad?

1312
01:01:02,232 --> 01:01:02,492
Yeah.

1313
01:01:04,032 --> 01:01:06,172
Anyway, all right, what was your decoy word?

1314
01:01:07,472 --> 01:01:07,832
Yikes.

1315
01:01:09,572 --> 01:01:10,712
When did you say that?

1316
01:01:10,772 --> 01:01:12,012
I feel like you say that all the time.

1317
01:01:12,012 --> 01:01:12,852
I said it numerous times.

1318
01:01:15,312 --> 01:01:17,472
That's a word you say often in real life.

1319
01:01:18,012 --> 01:01:19,252
I've never said it on the pod.

1320
01:01:19,652 --> 01:01:21,832
But you say it all the time in real life.

1321
01:01:22,072 --> 01:01:22,692
Ooh, yikes.

1322
01:01:22,752 --> 01:01:24,292
I feel like I hear you say that all the time.

1323
01:01:24,872 --> 01:01:25,632
What are we doing here?

1324
01:01:25,952 --> 01:01:26,852
What do you want me to say?

1325
01:01:27,252 --> 01:01:27,752
Got my words.

1326
01:01:27,812 --> 01:01:28,452
I played my part.

1327
01:01:29,652 --> 01:01:30,012
Yikes.

1328
01:01:30,552 --> 01:01:32,032
Oh, all right.

1329
01:01:32,772 --> 01:01:33,532
Here we go.

1330
01:01:33,532 --> 01:01:37,532
See, even you doing it just then sounded natural to me because it sounds like something you would say.

1331
01:01:38,372 --> 01:01:38,772
Yikes.

1332
01:01:38,992 --> 01:01:39,852
Just do it.

1333
01:01:42,452 --> 01:01:43,932
Here we go.

1334
01:01:44,192 --> 01:01:44,752
All right.

1335
01:01:44,872 --> 01:01:45,592
I've got some guesses.

1336
01:01:45,992 --> 01:01:46,392
Okay.

1337
01:01:47,452 --> 01:01:47,892
Starboard.

1338
01:01:48,572 --> 01:01:48,832
No.

1339
01:01:50,232 --> 01:01:51,592
I saw you write that one down.

1340
01:01:52,292 --> 01:01:52,692
Tootsies.

1341
01:01:53,652 --> 01:01:54,092
Nope.

1342
01:01:54,132 --> 01:01:55,692
I really do like toasty tootsies.

1343
01:01:56,492 --> 01:01:57,832
I hope this isn't it because I said it once.

1344
01:01:58,132 --> 01:01:58,532
Circus.

1345
01:01:59,292 --> 01:01:59,732
No.

1346
01:01:59,732 --> 01:02:05,352
And I saw you write it down and then I saw you say circus and then you went like to yourself.

1347
01:02:05,632 --> 01:02:07,552
Where you were like, God, no, what did I do?

1348
01:02:07,712 --> 01:02:08,272
Clowns.

1349
01:02:08,652 --> 01:02:08,892
Nope.

1350
01:02:10,052 --> 01:02:10,552
Freudian.

1351
01:02:11,052 --> 01:02:11,372
Nope.

1352
01:02:12,992 --> 01:02:13,552
Railroad.

1353
01:02:14,712 --> 01:02:15,312
Nope.

1354
01:02:15,912 --> 01:02:16,332
Tracks.

1355
01:02:17,792 --> 01:02:18,172
Nope.

1356
01:02:19,552 --> 01:02:20,152
Mayor.

1357
01:02:20,872 --> 01:02:21,252
No.

1358
01:02:22,592 --> 01:02:23,192
Imperceptible.

1359
01:02:23,832 --> 01:02:24,252
No.

1360
01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:26,292
Euphoria.

1361
01:02:27,192 --> 01:02:27,492
No.

1362
01:02:27,492 --> 01:02:35,852
you were really close to my decoy word and i'm really pissed that you didn't

1363
01:02:35,852 --> 01:02:42,092
say it correctly because i definitely did not say railroad i said road roads

1364
01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:49,472
yay that was your decoy that was my decoy francis is safe oh that's annoying to me oh

1365
01:02:49,472 --> 01:02:50,672
Thank goodness.

1366
01:02:50,792 --> 01:02:52,152
Saved by singularity.

1367
01:02:52,612 --> 01:02:53,252
Yikes.

1368
01:02:55,412 --> 01:02:58,392
No, so railroads was my decoy word.

1369
01:02:59,032 --> 01:03:02,652
And my actual word was schmooze.

1370
01:03:03,712 --> 01:03:05,352
You said that in a real weird way.

1371
01:03:05,852 --> 01:03:06,792
Say it how you said it.

1372
01:03:06,792 --> 01:03:10,432
I said, don't make Joe schmooze himself.

1373
01:03:11,592 --> 01:03:14,352
Because when you were saying Joe, say, how could you?

1374
01:03:14,412 --> 01:03:15,032
Or like, whatever.

1375
01:03:15,152 --> 01:03:16,112
Oh, that is weird.

1376
01:03:16,192 --> 01:03:17,152
Why didn't I pick up on that?

1377
01:03:17,772 --> 01:03:18,652
I don't know.

1378
01:03:18,652 --> 01:03:21,712
but thank goodness you didn't

1379
01:03:21,712 --> 01:03:23,612
why couldn't you have just

1380
01:03:23,612 --> 01:03:25,952
remembered how I said railroads

1381
01:03:25,952 --> 01:03:27,772
how I pluralized it

1382
01:03:27,772 --> 01:03:30,212
I ignore the S that's just my way

1383
01:03:30,212 --> 01:03:31,032
oh

1384
01:03:31,032 --> 01:03:33,252
well okay

1385
01:03:33,252 --> 01:03:35,032
hey no one got screwed

1386
01:03:35,032 --> 01:03:37,872
I feel like I got screwed you got improvised

1387
01:03:37,872 --> 01:03:38,652
and yikes

1388
01:03:38,652 --> 01:03:41,872
didn't I have a really crabby one

1389
01:03:41,872 --> 01:03:43,912
once and to be fair

1390
01:03:43,912 --> 01:03:45,552
I did complain about it so yeah

1391
01:03:45,552 --> 01:03:47,072
you're fine okay thank you

1392
01:03:47,072 --> 01:03:55,412
all right well i guess better luck next time for both of us yikes uh thanks for listening yikes

1393
01:03:55,412 --> 01:04:03,492
yeah see you say it and it sounded normal i'm just improvised oh i hate you but i love you listeners

1394
01:04:03,492 --> 01:04:04,492
bye