welcome to
hell just kidding welcome to it's heaven
Very, very fine friends.
Purgatory episode.
Bonus.
Improv.
I like the way you do that.
Bonus.
Sorry, he's talking about some kind of bonus content.
Bonus content.
I'm talking about, you don't talk about bonus content.
It's rare.
Okay.
All right.
We're going to do some bonus content.
Joe,
cure,
cure us up with a suggestion.
Joe,
you have to give us a suggestion.
It's your job.
Oh,
you're going to do your job.
Okay.
Your suggestion is counterfeit.
Hmm.
I always am amused by the fact that people still try to counterfeit money.
I get it.
I mean,
I get it,
but it's like,
I don't catch you.
Yeah,
you're not getting away with that.
I feel like I get the impulse to like be financially free.
Yeah.
Also,
if you're putting all this effort on counterfeiting,
there's got to be some sort of project manager job that would be good for
you.
When I was a kid,
one of my dad's friends was doing that was counterfeiting.
Yeah.
Yeah. Whoa. Project managing.
Rapid. Yeah, they were like just photocopying money like and I found this
out because like they were babysitting me and I heard them talking to someone
else and she was like, look, she's like it looks like real money. And even as a
kid, I was like, oh, never gonna see her again. And you didn't. I don't remember.
I mean, probably after a while now, like here's a fuzzy naval kid. Yeah,
yeah, I got a fake money. Yeah, but they were doing like,
like hundreds and it like you can like like you so dumb You can start with hundreds I know you got to start with like ones right
Because no one's,
no one's getting a pen out for a dollar bill,
right?
They do all the extra security on the hundred to start by printing an overdue
bill that you haven't paid.
Then you work your way up to actual cash.
Yep.
Stay tuned for our next layer of bonus content.
It's a little more instructive.
Shall we say?
Hmm.
Counterfeiting pennies.
What do you mean they don't take these anymore?
They're going to have to keep taking them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just going to.
Oh, they'll take them.
Do you pick up quarters or coins that you find?
Depends on the coin.
I guess.
Just quarters for me.
I don't really find a lot of coins.
I don't notice them if they're around.
You don't go rummaging in people's coin closets.
The queen closets.
Coin closet.
Sounds like a misinterpreted vagina.
Yeah.
One that could fit a coat.
Do you pick up coins?
No.
I used to, but then I heard someone say that it's like,
it's like, I don't use this term negatively,
but it's like very lack-minded
to pick up coins off the ground.
You're like desperate for a coin.
Here's the thing about me. Once I have a thought about something,
it's like if I see the server pouring my water and he touches the
like the craft to my glass.
I'm like,
I don't want that now.
Once I have the idea of it,
I like make up my mind and I can't go back.
You know,
why can't the craft touch your glass?
Because if they do that to me,
they're doing it to other people,
which means I'm drinking other people's lips.
I don't know.
That's a hard thing to transfer.
No,
what if they're hot?
Well,
they're not showing me pictures.
We call it.
Is it okay?
Would you like to,
by the transitive property,
kiss this gentleman.
You know.
It's like when,
you know,
it's just,
you know.
Okay.
And now improv Um sir Sir
Um, sorry, you're not supposed to be back in this area.
This area is for the servers only.
Ooh, ooh.
And you're definitely not supposed to be...
Can I touch this?
No, uh, yeah, no.
No, no, what? I'm sorry, why are you...
Did I pee in this?
No, don't, why would you? No.
What's wrong? Why are you interrupting me?
Why are you doing this?
Why are you kissing everything back here?
Why not?
Because it's weird.
No, no, no.
My father taught me this.
What?
He said, when you go into a restaurant and you really like it,
you got to go in the back and claim it, he said.
He said, it's your territory.
He said, kiss it, touch it, piss on it.
He said, love it.
oh is this your soda gun yeah it's yes it's my so look how far i could put it in my mouth
no no oh no which one's soda water i hate that one it's it doesn't matter now
oh i can't use that again it'll never be clean again where's your butter
oh i'm not telling you that now now that i know what you're gonna do with it you don't know what
i'm gonna do oh what are you gonna do what all right fine here here's the butter
oh i knew it oh i'm gonna take it from my hand and put it right on bread
and then let's bring it to someone i what what do you would then then what what are they what
are you gonna tell them that you you did this or is it like your little secret okay you see all
this butter on my hand yeah walk out to let's go to one of your tables okay okay here we are
hi yeah do you see this butter on my hand yeah it's quite a lot of butter lick it off
are you sure yeah i'm sure i mean only if you think i'm hot
oh oh there you go that good okay oh that tickles
that's enough thank you sir you've proved a point what what where are you going hot stuff
i'll be back i nope i've marked you you can't keep oh i see what you did i looked i licked your
hand and now you mine i marked you excuse me server what your policy on straddling guests um it typically frowned upon but not against the rules I going to get on It never happened Oh I fit
Oh, that's why I marked you.
If I fit, say sits. That's the
saying cats say.
Wait, say it again. If I fit, say sits.
You know how cats
go in boxes?
I do.
I know that about cats.
Sorry, I'm getting a little butter in your hair, but you
don't mind. I don't mind at all.
Yeah. I don't mind at all.
Oh, this is nice.
Want me to feed you?
I thought you'd never ask.
Okay, I'm going to just say it.
This is the weirdest shift
I've ever had.
Oh, you're feeding him
soup with your hands. Yeah, I can make a
bowl with my hands.
I'm going to slurp that up.
Oh, my God.
It tastes extra good from the extra
butter on your cat.
I am a cat in this scenario.
could you leave ma'am no i can't leave i can't i'm sorry i'm sorry i i feel like i need to step
in and do something about this this is can't be sanitary you've got to be breaking a lot of
health code violations oh no no my father taught me um you just go to the health department
and you just smack everyone around.
That can't be the only salute.
No, that can't work.
I looked up this restaurant
and I saw who your food inspector was
and I went over there and I just went to town
left, right, left, right, beat them, beat them bloody.
And at the end of it, they were like,
that was hot.
You should see what I did over there.
I made quite a mess.
But you didn't block that food inspector more than me, right?
Oh, my God.
No.
Well, we have a special.
Okay.
You want a shrimp?
I sure do.
Feed it to me with your toes.
Here it is.
Hold on.
Shrimp toes.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so funny.
Oh, you went tail first.
I did.
Can you get it off?
Don't joke.
No, it's a little party trick I do.
Look.
Oh, wow.
It's like tying a cherry stem with your teeth.
I can detail a shrimp.
It's so just my mouth.
My God,
that's hot.
When's your wife going to stop staring at us?
And scene.