all right welcome to very fine friends bonus improv yeah bonus oh my god show us your improv
yes let me take a picture of your improv uh joe can we get a suggestion please
your suggestion is overpaid overpaid overpaid not us am i right no we're yeah we're under
yeah show us the money but a lot of people are a lot of ceos i feel i don't even i here's the
I don't even have a problem necessarily with the way some CEOs are paid.
Because it's like, you're in charge of everything in a company.
If it's a big company.
Like, I can understand, you know, like, making a lot of money doing that.
Yeah, but no golden parachute then.
Like, if you do bad and you have to be, like, removed, a lot of them leave with, like, a big package.
I mean, if you screw up, I think, yeah, you should not get to then also take $20 million with you when you leave.
But like, I think if you, I think CEOs do bring value, like a good CEO does bring value
to a company.
I think there's a lot of mid-level people that are overpaid.
And like, once you, like, once you get into the workforce, like, I remember being like,
you know, in my early twenties and like, you know, being like 20, basically having, when
I had my first office job and it was like, oh, I just assumed everyone was competent.
And then you're like, oh, no, most of them are not, in fact.
And they're in charge and people respect them somehow and they don't know how to do anything.
Yeah, I think that's a universal experience once you get into the workforce.
Yeah, I certainly noticed that, too.
And it's kind of like.
Almost like the emperor's.
What's that story?
Emperor's naked.
New clothes.
Yeah.
I must have heard a different version.
No, no, the emperor's naked.
That's what it was.
Yeah.
But it's like,
other people are just like applauding.
Like, yes, yes.
Like applauding.
And I'm watching.
I'm like, this is horrible.
Yep.
This man don't know nothing.
Yeah.
Don't give Gina a promotion
just because she said
that we should be more efficient
with our shipping.
Oh, that's brilliant.
Yeah, that's not brilliant.
Gina, Gina.
Can I tell you the most weird,
the weirdest thing I ever did
were like,
so when I was working at this,
I like made my department
way more efficient
and I was the only one in my department because it was night shift like data processing and I like
streamlined so many things that I had some down like a lot of downtime yeah so one night I was
carrying in this was years and years ago like a tv with like you know those tvs I had a built-in
vhs yeah so I was like bringing it into my office because I was gonna like plug it in and watch tv and one of the managers was like what the hell is this Like as I carrying it like it a TV It like what are you doing with it I like I gonna watch it
Hey maybe go put it back in my car. You didn't like that? No. I'm like well punish me then for
being so good. Yeah. Yeah it's another monitor. Plays thrift store VHSs for
work.
I have to watch the movie
Clifford for work.
Clifford Files.
And you'd be like, no, no, no, I'm using it to
watch how-to VHS tapes on
how to do this job.
Which I thought of that. I was just embarrassed to be caught.
And now, improv.
Uh, Dennis,
can you come in here please yep what's up mr howard um dennis can you please explain um
what this bouncy castle is doing in your your office yes mr howard i can
the top shelves are increasingly hard to reach and due to my fear of ladders i thought hey
What'll get me up there and back down?
Bouncy house.
Don't worry.
I got a great deal on it.
Oh, wow.
Dennis, that's really, really smart of you.
That's why we pay you the big bucks.
You know what?
I like that idea.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Mr. Howard, wow.
I'm going to install bouncy houses in everybody's office from now on.
Oh, this is such an honor.
It's finally.
I've always wondered, why do we put shelves so high?
They're so high.
not everyone's tall Mr. Howard
we are but not everyone
uh I
but now it leads me to my next question
I can't see I can't wait to see
where this innovation goes
what's with the slip and slide down the hallway
oh Mr. Howard I should think that was obvious
um you know how the employees have been complaining
that um that their 30 minute lunch is is not long enough
oh yeah
Because the building's so big, you know, it takes them like five minutes to get to the lunchroom.
Not with the slip and slide.
So people would just be slipping and sliding straight into the lunchroom?
Yeah.
It cuts down travel time by three minutes.
So in a way, it's like I gave them an extra three minutes in their lunch.
You are a magnanimous boss, Mr. Howard.
God bless you.
Dennis, I like the cut of your jib.
I cut it for you, Mr. Howard.
can i run my next thought by you please please do you're a non-stop good idea machine well you
know how there so many papers in a filing cabinet i do know that you know how they have those inventions for kids that a sticky hand where you thwap it and it sticks to something Yeah I thought what if we give everyone these sticky hands And this way they don even have to cross the room to get the files out of the filing cabinet
My God, it would be like having a ten foot long arm.
Exactly, Mr. Howard.
Oh.
Dennis, I don't know what I did in a previous life.
What I did right that brought you to me.
What you've done in this life, sir, has been enough.
Dennis, would it be weird if I kissed you gently on the forehead?
Not at all, Mr. Howard.
I frankly thought I was going to have to go a lot farther to get ahead here.
I'm ready for my promotion.
Oh.
Thank you, Mr. Howard.
Oh, is that Copenhagen?
That's right.
I used to be a skull man, but not anymore.
Now just Copenhagen.
Thank you. I'm ready to move up.
Good. I'm putting you in charge of the daycare center here at work.
It's actually a promotion, believe it or not.
Thank you, Mr. Howard. I won't let you down.
Cut to the daycare.
Hey, Marsha.
Yes?
I don't know what happened since I got promoted.
I'm struggling.
I'm struggling to come up with a good idea.
Well, I gotta be honest with you.
When you installed a fax machine here in the daycare center
as a way to help feed the children,
it didn't quite make sense.
And, uh...
No, that can't be right.
when you
when you said we should stop
stop using
disposable diapers and just take
staplers and staple all the
diapers together
a lot of babies got cut
I'm going to be honest
I don't think
I don't think your ideas
of bringing office supplies
into a non-office environment
are working quite the same way
your ideas of bringing fun, childish things into an office environment did.
That reminds me of a new invention I have for the babies.
Okay, I guess you get one more shot before I let Mr. Howard know this isn't working.
Don't worry about me and Mr. Howard.
But I was thinking, you know how some of these kids can't swim?
I'd say a right side of them, I'd say almost all of them can't swim.
Yeah.
Um, I have a new productivity for the daycare center.
Okay.
It a pool and at the bottom of the pool is a little trampoline And from now on you just be lifting up the babies and chucking them as hard as you can to the bottom of the pool They will bounce out It will teach them confidence and swimming
Yes.
My God, Dennis.
You've done it.
This is going to solve multiple problems.
First, we promised the parents that we would teach their kids to swim for some reason.
I don't know why we promised that.
also i have this weird compulsion where i'm constantly throwing the babies towards the ground
i noticed that i five s'd it and five wide it
you're you're you're gonna go far with me um i'm just gonna go talk to mr howard
cut to mr howard um i i think we have to let marcia go um oh oh she's a bad idea machine i
I saw her throwing a baby.
I said,
Marsha.
I said,
what are you doing?
So wait,
what was she throwing the baby into?
A pool of water,
sir.
With a,
it pains me to say this,
a trampoline at the bottom.
What do you think of that?
That sounds actually like a lot of fun and a great way to teach babies confidence and swimming all at the same time.
get Marsha in here
oh okay
it sounds like she's become
you've rubbed off on her she's now
the good idea machine
come here you
Mr. Howard come here
yes come here oh
you've been working out Mr. Howard
Mr. Howard
yeah oh
we don't need to bring Marsha into this
oh your hair
I'ma comb it
oh that's better
that that feels really nice mr howard oh i i always part it on the other side it actually
looks pretty good this oh my god who is this 20 year younger man let me put on some music
mr howard yes we don't need to bring marcia into this we just need each other
was that okay you've reciprocated my forehead kiss
wait wait
let's
let's put our foreheads together
now it's like
it's like our respective kisses
are kissing each other
Mr. Howard
I've never felt like this
in the workplace
I just got a really good idea
what is it?
let's
let's make this
bouncy castle
a bed
alright team