1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:17,960 so i have this recurring thought every time i pee it's that when you pee you know it's different for 2 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:26,460 you but like when i pee and there's a stream the stream happens yeah i'm always like oh god 3 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,780 what if I'm in a public place 4 00:00:28,780 --> 00:00:30,620 and there's like 5 00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,420 something in the toilet that's like 6 00:00:32,420 --> 00:00:33,840 nasty 7 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,740 and like I just picture it 8 00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:37,700 climbing up to pee 9 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:40,620 like 10 00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:41,680 a quick bacteria 11 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,480 and like rides the helix up 12 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,980 but then it would be like a salmon swimming upstream 13 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:47,920 so it's possible 14 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,040 it'd be really hard 15 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,960 well I don't think it'd make it all the way 16 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,580 I don't think it would make it to you 17 00:00:54,580 --> 00:01:00,160 well this is science i think it would drown midstream you think i just gotta push harder 18 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:08,280 yeah like you're not coming up here yes uh yeah i think as long as you're making that noise while 19 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:17,820 you're peeing doesn't everyone in a public bathroom okay this is yeah you're right in there 20 00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:22,400 this is like a nightmare story for me but i'll share it with you because i love you just the 21 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,320 Between the two of us. 22 00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:23,540 Yeah. 23 00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:24,560 Just don't tell anyone. 24 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:25,840 Just us and the listeners. 25 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,740 I was with a friend of mine. 26 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,580 We were going up to Anthem to do this, like, political thing. 27 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,340 And we got almost there. 28 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:37,660 And I, my stomach was like, problem, problem. 29 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:38,700 And I'm like, oh, no. 30 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,060 Like, I need to, I need to find a bathroom. 31 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:41,000 Like, now. 32 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,360 And we pulled into the fries. 33 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:49,560 And I was like, the first time in my life, maybe, where I was like, it's, I'm not going to make it. 34 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:50,000 Oh, no. 35 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:50,560 Horrifying. 36 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,320 I'm like, this is, I'm so embarrassed. 37 00:01:52,400 --> 00:02:02,980 at a place where I'm a member mind you so no fries anyway so I run into the bathroom of course is 38 00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:10,140 at the far end of the store back yeah so I'm like speed walking and I finally had like an ounce of 39 00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:17,320 hope and I kicked open the door and there was a worker in there like cleaning the bathroom 40 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:24,340 saw me set the broom against the wall and walked out like kicked it open your face yeah they were 41 00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:30,960 like this guy's probably like this guy's clearly a member yeah to give him his privacy yeah so 42 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:34,420 i'm already like horrified so i get in there 43 00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:43,340 start doing my thing and not quietly mind you somebody walks in the bathroom at that time 44 00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:50,260 there's open stalls they go in the stall right next to me sit like they lock the door 45 00:02:50,260 --> 00:02:56,420 i see their like pants drop they hear they're in there for like five seconds of hearing what i'm 46 00:02:56,420 --> 00:03:06,380 doing and they got up and left like they left the bathroom yeah you scared them yeah i scared a 47 00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:12,860 worker i scared a fellow hey but you have the bathroom to yourself that's weird though someone 48 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:18,240 coming in and going right next to you i'm assuming there was more than two stalls well maybe they were 49 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:23,680 cruising and they didn't understand what was happening but then they figured it out real quick 50 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:31,140 yeah i feel like stall etiquette and i feel like as a i feel like i would have made a good man in 51 00:03:31,140 --> 00:03:37,620 a urinal situation where i would know which urinal to pick well i can i can confirm which one would 52 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:41,860 you pick well it depends i think every given situation is different right have you ever do 53 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:47,620 you ever play that game like there's like some kind of a game yeah there's kind of a game where 54 00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:54,260 there's uh like they show you which like which you're like pick the correct urinal basically 55 00:03:54,260 --> 00:03:59,360 and in any given situation with a certain number of urinals and like people at the urinals to like 56 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:06,640 maximize space and privacy i like i got a hundred a hundred percent on that game when i played it 57 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:11,560 at least it doesn't mean anything by the way no it means a lot i didn't that's how i get into 58 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,580 college. Here's my 59 00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:14,420 urinal test scores. 60 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,080 You'll see they're all in order. 61 00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:19,560 Sorry, you like 62 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,580 to put your arm... I was just gonna 63 00:04:21,580 --> 00:04:23,640 say, if someone comes next 64 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,580 to me on the urinal, I like to put my arm around them and 65 00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:26,700 say, we're doing it. 66 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:28,760 Come on. 67 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:31,800 Turn to face 68 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,780 them. Make eye contact. Make the noise 69 00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:34,220 I make. 70 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:38,760 Bacteria? 71 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,160 Not today. 72 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:42,800 That also reminds me. 73 00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:44,480 There's a long story, which I won't get into now, 74 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,280 but my dad forced me to go hunting once when I was a kid. 75 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,160 And it was my first time nature toileting. 76 00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:53,420 And I kept going further into the woods 77 00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:55,280 because I didn't want to be anywhere around him. 78 00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:55,680 Yeah. 79 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,740 And I built a little rock toilet. 80 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,700 And as soon as I got on it, I swear this is true. 81 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,180 As soon as I got on the rock toilet, 82 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:04,880 a truck drove by in front of me. 83 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,780 So it was just like, was there a road? 84 00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:16,400 trail that i didn't know like like a well-driven trail of other hunters i'm like this like 10 year 85 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:29,180 old kid sitting on your own little homemade rock throne uh welcome to friends like us 86 00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:39,320 a podcast where friends talk about stuff that was a very informative uh opening for our listeners 87 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:45,140 Yeah, I just wanted to be known. I didn't go into detail. You you filled in your imaginations of what was really happening. 88 00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:47,700 Yeah, if you have weird memories, this is your fault. 89 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:51,580 Listener, you're adding details that were not supplied in the story. 90 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,520 You're sick and you need help. 91 00:05:54,500 --> 00:06:01,060 And if you're a Fries member, we're calling Fries and we're getting your membership revoked because you're sick. 92 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:01,980 They do that. 93 00:06:02,220 --> 00:06:03,040 They do do that. 94 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:03,820 doo-doo 95 00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:05,860 well 96 00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:07,540 and listeners 97 00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:09,800 don't think that we were talking about doo-doo 98 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,240 just because I said they do doo-doo 99 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,200 we were talking about the birds 100 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,340 the extinct birds 101 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,740 the doo-doo birds 102 00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:15,680 yes 103 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,320 how dare you listener 104 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,000 yeah you need to stop 105 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,280 grow up 106 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:21,960 go outside 107 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:22,680 touch grass 108 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,800 god 109 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:24,880 you're such a 110 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,060 you're so sophomoric 111 00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:27,460 good word 112 00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:28,100 thank you 113 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:28,940 you haven't heard that enough 114 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:30,100 thank you 115 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,580 I like that one and I like pedantic 116 00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:33,020 I love pedantic. 117 00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,600 Although I don't like it when people are pedantic. 118 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:36,920 No. 119 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:37,640 But it's fun to say. 120 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,560 It's good to know what to call them. 121 00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:38,920 Yeah. 122 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,500 Quick interruption. 123 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:50,260 Every week on the podcast, we do something where our producer Joe gives Francis and I each our own secret word. 124 00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:59,000 Throughout the course of the podcast, we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing. 125 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,700 If the other person can guess the secret word, they get a point. 126 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,240 And right before we die, we add up all the points. 127 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:12,060 And then we get a prize, whoever has the most points, for guessing the most secret words. 128 00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:15,320 Here's Joe with today's secret words. 129 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,380 Jenna's secret word is trimmings. 130 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,560 Francis' secret word is licks. 131 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,300 All right, back to the pod. 132 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:32,160 well um not to be pedantic but i think it's that that time i think it's time 133 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,000 for the invention of the week okay 134 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,040 inventions 135 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:45,700 i've been licking my wounds this past week because i feel like the last one uh 136 00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:51,060 didn't go didn't go have you seen my hair francis it's terrible i tried to get myself 137 00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:51,600 a haircut. 138 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:52,460 It wasn't going to say anything. 139 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,100 No, it's a prototype. 140 00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:57,640 You gave me a beta version of the... 141 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:58,880 You gave you... 142 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,160 Oh, I see what you're doing. 143 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:02,520 The no glove? 144 00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:03,600 Yes. 145 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,140 Yes, love? 146 00:08:04,340 --> 00:08:04,700 Yes. 147 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:06,460 Sorry. 148 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:11,160 My invention is... 149 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,720 You know how sometimes you get thirsty? 150 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,180 I do know that. 151 00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:17,280 Well, not anymore. 152 00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:18,880 Oh, thank goodness. 153 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,080 Have you ever seen a camelback? 154 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:21,700 Yeah. 155 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:22,680 Pretty cool, right? 156 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,220 Yeah, they're the coolest. 157 00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:25,860 Really cool. 158 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:31,740 So my invention is, you ever been to a fast food place and they have a soda fountain? 159 00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:32,320 Uh-huh. 160 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:37,720 And then you walk in the back and you see that it's just a bunch of lines going to soda? 161 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,560 Well, I mean, I can imagine that. 162 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,200 I don't think I've been in the back. 163 00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:44,240 Okay. 164 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,600 But I know, yeah. 165 00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:46,300 You're there. 166 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,160 Yeah, I'm there. 167 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:47,520 I'm there. 168 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,940 I didn't want to mislead the listener into thinking I'd had this experience in person. 169 00:08:53,140 --> 00:08:54,500 I just have a good imagination. 170 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,000 I can imagine what you're talking about. 171 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:56,500 Okay. 172 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:57,340 Thanks. 173 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:10,620 So it's a bunch of tubes that go through your attic in your house into your garage where there's beverage canisters. 174 00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:13,560 And the tubes go into every room. 175 00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:16,620 So you can just literally... 176 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:18,080 Oh, you're in your room in your bed? 177 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,960 water tube, let it go. 178 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,460 And up to two beverages. 179 00:09:26,820 --> 00:09:31,200 So the tube, one tube dispenses two beverages or two tubes? 180 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,740 It's one tube. 181 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:35,560 I'm sorry. 182 00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:39,620 I'm realizing now that you're going to have to take a long drink to clear it. 183 00:09:39,940 --> 00:09:40,180 Yeah. 184 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:40,700 Two tubes. 185 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:42,180 I just decided. 186 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:42,860 All right. 187 00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:43,320 Good. 188 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,260 I think that's wise because otherwise you'd have the different beverages 189 00:09:46,260 --> 00:09:47,040 contaminating. 190 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:47,840 Yeah. 191 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:48,420 Yeah. 192 00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:48,800 Yeah. 193 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,800 And you could even do, I mean, you pick the beverages, whatever. 194 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,200 But every, so like you're in the bathroom. 195 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:56,260 Guess what? 196 00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:57,020 You're thirsty? 197 00:09:58,420 --> 00:09:59,040 Not anymore. 198 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:00,480 Okay. 199 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,460 The only room it's not in is the kitchen. 200 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:10,220 Because there's already tubes called pipes. 201 00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:13,160 That's where people keep their beverages anyway? 202 00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:14,420 Yeah. 203 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:15,680 Okay. 204 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:18,940 So I want you to just imagine the practicality of this. 205 00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:22,260 Okay. 206 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,120 What do you, all right. 207 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:28,500 Let me unpack this here. 208 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:28,980 So. 209 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:31,660 She loves it. 210 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,640 Clearly super into this idea. 211 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,020 This is nonstop practical. 212 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:39,940 Oh, yeah. 213 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,200 Look at her licks and her lips over there. 214 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,760 So it's. 215 00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:58,854 Every room has like a hamster like one of those like it like a hamster dispenser like a little water But like so you just put your mouth to the tube in whatever room you in Yeah So but what if you have guests over 216 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,673 Are they sharing your tubes? 217 00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:01,514 It's bad etiquette. 218 00:11:02,053 --> 00:11:03,394 You don't use someone's tubes. 219 00:11:03,713 --> 00:11:05,374 So it's just for you. 220 00:11:06,993 --> 00:11:07,973 It's for your whole family. 221 00:11:08,274 --> 00:11:09,973 It's a long line. 222 00:11:10,134 --> 00:11:10,313 Yeah. 223 00:11:10,993 --> 00:11:12,313 Coming into each room. 224 00:11:12,313 --> 00:11:19,553 how much liquid will you have to fill it fill these the attic containers with just to be able 225 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:23,433 to supply all the containers are in the garage oh i'm sorry i thought you said attic no the tubes 226 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:28,614 run through the attic oh okay well i don't know why it matters how whatever the containers are 227 00:11:28,614 --> 00:11:32,874 they still need to be filled wherever they are well it's like it's like people who have giant 228 00:11:32,874 --> 00:11:39,514 propane tanks they fill them once every like six months it depends i mean if it's milk obviously 229 00:11:39,514 --> 00:11:40,493 it's not going to last six months. 230 00:11:40,593 --> 00:11:42,333 Yeah, I mean, that's one of the things. 231 00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:42,953 Well, that's on you. 232 00:11:43,134 --> 00:11:44,973 You need to... 233 00:11:44,973 --> 00:11:45,854 I mean, if it's soda, 234 00:11:45,953 --> 00:11:47,793 it's not going to really... 235 00:11:47,793 --> 00:11:48,333 I think it would. 236 00:11:48,493 --> 00:11:50,374 You think the carbonation would last? 237 00:11:51,973 --> 00:11:52,833 I don't know. 238 00:11:56,254 --> 00:11:57,193 I don't know. 239 00:11:57,413 --> 00:11:59,654 There will be a CO2 tank. 240 00:12:00,494 --> 00:12:01,413 You'll get a alert on your phone 241 00:12:01,413 --> 00:12:02,673 when it's time to change the tank. 242 00:12:04,354 --> 00:12:04,713 Okay. 243 00:12:04,713 --> 00:12:06,713 And also, I just decided there's a... 244 00:12:06,713 --> 00:12:10,793 a UV cleaner. 245 00:12:11,234 --> 00:12:15,213 It's like if you want to use it, but grandma used it first. 246 00:12:15,813 --> 00:12:17,973 Yeah, and she's a dirty bitch. 247 00:12:17,994 --> 00:12:18,534 Dirty grandma. 248 00:12:18,994 --> 00:12:19,813 Dirty grandma. 249 00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:20,154 Grandma. 250 00:12:20,593 --> 00:12:21,774 Grandma, get your act together. 251 00:12:21,933 --> 00:12:22,774 Grandma, stop being nasty. 252 00:12:24,193 --> 00:12:27,193 You clamp on the UV light and it cleans the tube. 253 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,394 Okay, so then guests can use it. 254 00:12:29,433 --> 00:12:30,173 If you allow it. 255 00:12:30,173 --> 00:12:30,534 Okay. 256 00:12:31,254 --> 00:12:32,313 With the UV light. 257 00:12:33,014 --> 00:12:35,114 But then this is now stuck in your house. 258 00:12:35,553 --> 00:12:35,994 Stuck? 259 00:12:35,994 --> 00:12:37,654 Well, I mean, it's not portable. 260 00:12:37,894 --> 00:12:39,093 This is a selling feature. 261 00:12:39,413 --> 00:12:40,053 Yeah, it's not portable. 262 00:12:40,173 --> 00:12:40,374 That's right. 263 00:12:40,413 --> 00:12:41,734 It's like a home water cleaner. 264 00:12:42,193 --> 00:12:45,193 But like people spend, you know, eight hours a day at work. 265 00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:48,933 That doesn't solve their thirst problems at work. 266 00:12:49,874 --> 00:12:51,973 Well, if your employer is decent. 267 00:12:53,014 --> 00:12:55,034 It's like health care or 401k. 268 00:12:55,053 --> 00:12:55,274 Right. 269 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,193 There'll be a tube coming down to your cubicle. 270 00:12:57,433 --> 00:12:58,734 They're going to supply you a tube. 271 00:12:58,833 --> 00:13:03,793 So in this world, ideally, there's just tubes everywhere. 272 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,293 It sounds like you're describing drinking fountains. 273 00:13:09,173 --> 00:13:10,614 Yeah, it does sound a little bit like... 274 00:13:10,614 --> 00:13:11,553 Then you don't get it. 275 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:17,614 Well, it also sounds a little bit like you're saying have a soda machine in every room. 276 00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,534 It's a soda machine, but without all the trimmings. 277 00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:22,793 Like, it's just the tube part of the soda machine. 278 00:13:23,734 --> 00:13:26,034 You're working. You're busy. You can't stop. 279 00:13:26,854 --> 00:13:28,374 You don't want to bend over to a fountain. 280 00:13:29,413 --> 00:13:32,534 And this is better than a camelback, because... 281 00:13:32,534 --> 00:13:37,313 Because you don't have to fill it yourself. 282 00:13:37,673 --> 00:13:38,774 And it's always there. 283 00:13:38,793 --> 00:13:40,634 You do have to fill it yourself. 284 00:13:41,553 --> 00:13:45,534 But you know how, okay, you know how in the bag, 285 00:13:46,274 --> 00:13:48,614 it only holds so much like you're filling it up all the time. 286 00:13:48,734 --> 00:13:50,494 These are big tanks in your garage. 287 00:13:52,634 --> 00:13:55,293 You do one massive fill up. 288 00:13:55,713 --> 00:13:55,973 Yeah. 289 00:13:58,573 --> 00:13:59,774 Yeah, you get it. 290 00:13:59,774 --> 00:14:07,134 you interpreted that as i'm getting it not me questioning this 291 00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:16,134 i just don't think you're seeing the um these could be anywhere airports but but then okay 292 00:14:16,134 --> 00:14:21,234 airports that seems like that's gonna work willy-nilly like the number of people that go 293 00:14:21,234 --> 00:14:26,234 through an airport that everyone's gonna be putting their mouth to these dirty tubes and 294 00:14:26,234 --> 00:14:28,254 UV. Yeah, but how often are people 295 00:14:28,254 --> 00:14:30,293 going to be UV-ing? Well, you've got to make 296 00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:32,154 sure. It's your job. I'm not touching 297 00:14:32,154 --> 00:14:33,553 it until I UV-ing it. 298 00:14:33,693 --> 00:14:36,754 So that UV, it'll be called Y-O-U-V? 299 00:14:36,973 --> 00:14:38,333 The UV. You've got 300 00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:39,854 to do it. That's not bad. Yeah. 301 00:14:40,014 --> 00:14:42,193 I vote for that. But then there's 302 00:14:42,193 --> 00:14:44,114 going to be people that aren't doing that. 303 00:14:44,154 --> 00:14:45,073 Then they can be gross. 304 00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:48,413 But at what point in time do we 305 00:14:48,413 --> 00:14:50,114 I would not trust that UV. 306 00:14:50,494 --> 00:14:52,014 Well, to me, it's just like a water fountain. 307 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,293 I don't use water fountains. 308 00:14:54,293 --> 00:15:01,254 but water fountain that you have to wrap your lips around have to or get to that's a selling 309 00:15:01,254 --> 00:15:07,014 feature yeah could you have like little accessories that you put on the tubes like 310 00:15:07,014 --> 00:15:12,053 like fake lips that so when you it's like you're kissing i was thinking that some of these could 311 00:15:12,053 --> 00:15:19,854 have lipstick on them so if you're late to work you get a drink of water and boom i thought you 312 00:15:19,854 --> 00:15:27,933 like lipstick on it so like your your wife comes home and she's like why is there lipstick on this 313 00:15:27,933 --> 00:15:35,193 tube who's been over here drinking our water yes we hydrate oh honey uh no that's not what you 314 00:15:35,193 --> 00:15:41,833 think it segs into a commercial for the product don't worry i haven't been cheating on you 315 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:49,734 it's just the what's the name of this product oh um something like something about many tube like 316 00:15:49,734 --> 00:16:01,673 poly tube poly drink drink tube tie your tubes don't tie your tube don't tie your tubes garage 317 00:16:01,673 --> 00:16:09,154 drink garage drink that sells itself three car beverage 318 00:16:09,154 --> 00:16:15,014 we're poor i think we're involving the garage too much in this right because some people might 319 00:16:15,014 --> 00:16:19,154 not have a garage right some people might have an attic and then it does go in the attic with 320 00:16:19,154 --> 00:16:19,713 the tubes. 321 00:16:22,394 --> 00:16:22,713 Tube 322 00:16:22,713 --> 00:16:25,114 lips. Tubular. 323 00:16:25,673 --> 00:16:27,473 Hey. Tubule lips. 324 00:16:28,313 --> 00:16:29,374 Better than anything I've got. 325 00:16:31,713 --> 00:16:33,173 What did you call it? 326 00:16:33,173 --> 00:16:34,433 Garage milk? 327 00:16:35,673 --> 00:16:36,553 Garage drink. 328 00:16:36,793 --> 00:16:37,793 Garage drink. 329 00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:43,134 Okay. 330 00:16:44,073 --> 00:16:44,793 Tube trough? 331 00:16:45,813 --> 00:16:46,333 Truff? 332 00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:50,093 no because trough you got everyone goes to it this comes to you 333 00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:58,634 everyone goes to it in the in the um airport too according to you camel mouth 334 00:16:58,634 --> 00:17:07,033 i don't know there's gotta be a latin word that means everywhere pan yeah i am yeah omnia 335 00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:13,033 it's pan everywhere that's great everything oh let's edit out the part where i didn't know 336 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:19,974 something um you were testing us yeah that's right but no tests needed i got a hundred percent of my 337 00:17:19,974 --> 00:17:26,053 urinal exam let me see that this checks out yep look forward to peeing next to you no you won't 338 00:17:26,053 --> 00:17:32,873 be right next to me oh i'll be three urinals down i almost got you yep nope no no i'm prepared 339 00:17:32,873 --> 00:17:37,934 i'm sorry to go back but you only need to be one two urinals down no but you need to be properly 340 00:17:37,934 --> 00:17:41,754 prepared because if it's there's five urinals you want to go to the other end so then if someone 341 00:17:41,754 --> 00:17:44,734 comes in they can still go in the middle and then everyone's got their own buffer zone 342 00:17:44,734 --> 00:17:53,113 thank you thank you very much we're ready to piss i know 343 00:17:53,113 --> 00:18:02,714 yep anyway so how are you feeling on the um drinks a lot omni tubes garage milk 344 00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:06,873 I think 345 00:18:06,873 --> 00:18:09,894 this is going to be in every home 346 00:18:09,894 --> 00:18:12,654 I don't see why it wouldn't be 347 00:18:12,654 --> 00:18:14,373 if it was an option at the builder 348 00:18:14,373 --> 00:18:15,234 you would take it right 349 00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:20,254 I know 350 00:18:20,254 --> 00:18:22,113 I would not I'm sorry 351 00:18:22,113 --> 00:18:24,494 do I keep this bit going no 352 00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:26,454 not for you but it would be a cool thing 353 00:18:26,454 --> 00:18:28,494 just loose tubes I'd be worried about 354 00:18:28,494 --> 00:18:29,674 we got it 355 00:18:29,674 --> 00:18:30,833 Loose tubes. 356 00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:32,853 That's the name. 357 00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:37,273 Well, with a name like that, I actually am on board. 358 00:18:37,813 --> 00:18:38,454 Loose tubes. 359 00:18:38,573 --> 00:18:39,333 But wouldn't you be worried? 360 00:18:39,573 --> 00:18:42,313 Oh, you were worried about bacteria crawling up your pee, 361 00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:45,853 and then you're okay with just having loose tubes that you strap your mouth to? 362 00:18:45,954 --> 00:18:48,353 Why do you keep forgetting about the UV light? 363 00:18:49,313 --> 00:18:51,053 We have a method of control. 364 00:18:51,053 --> 00:18:52,873 But then you're constantly UVing, 365 00:18:52,954 --> 00:18:56,313 because how could you be sure that a bug didn't crawl up the tube 366 00:18:56,313 --> 00:18:58,533 while you weren't using it? 367 00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:02,353 Like, I don't go into the office in my house all that often. 368 00:19:02,773 --> 00:19:06,633 So if I go into the office and I haven't been going in there and I want a quick drink. 369 00:19:07,053 --> 00:19:08,214 Well, it requires sucking. 370 00:19:08,533 --> 00:19:12,154 You can't just pick up the tube and water pours out. 371 00:19:12,593 --> 00:19:13,714 It's like a siphon. 372 00:19:14,093 --> 00:19:17,533 I know, but the bug could still crawl up the tube, right? 373 00:19:17,934 --> 00:19:18,194 No. 374 00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:21,133 Not with our proprietary anti-bug technology. 375 00:19:21,513 --> 00:19:24,273 Oh, I didn't know about the anti-bug technology. 376 00:19:24,273 --> 00:19:29,993 Well, in that case, yes, I would like two, please, two sets of loose tubes. 377 00:19:30,394 --> 00:19:34,394 And you didn't even mention once that you didn't like the aesthetic of that being in your house. 378 00:19:35,033 --> 00:19:36,714 So that can't even be a concern. 379 00:19:37,293 --> 00:19:41,293 Well, no, I do like loose things hanging from the ceiling. 380 00:19:41,573 --> 00:19:43,873 So that's I'm OK with that. 381 00:19:44,194 --> 00:19:45,853 In 50 years, people are going to look back on this. 382 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,613 Like, I can't believe only one person ordered the loose tubes. 383 00:19:49,654 --> 00:19:50,753 And that house is worth. 384 00:19:51,073 --> 00:19:52,474 And that one person was Francis. 385 00:19:54,273 --> 00:20:04,073 who died of a bacterial infection from a toilet 386 00:20:04,073 --> 00:20:10,633 from a bug that was in his garage milk he refused to accept 387 00:20:10,633 --> 00:20:17,253 kept denying it wouldn't go to the hospital no oh okay well someone out there is 388 00:20:17,253 --> 00:20:19,353 wanting this. 389 00:20:19,633 --> 00:20:19,954 Yes. 390 00:20:20,133 --> 00:20:21,194 And if you do want 391 00:20:21,194 --> 00:20:22,934 your own set of loose tubes, 392 00:20:23,234 --> 00:20:26,353 go to friendslikeuspod.com. 393 00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:27,974 I think that wraps up 394 00:20:27,974 --> 00:20:30,253 the invention of the week. 395 00:20:30,493 --> 00:20:30,914 Thanks. 396 00:20:31,894 --> 00:20:34,154 Well, we've certainly got a hit 397 00:20:34,154 --> 00:20:35,133 on our hands. 398 00:20:36,533 --> 00:20:37,914 You're giving me whiplash, Jenna. 399 00:20:38,513 --> 00:20:39,253 I know. 400 00:20:40,293 --> 00:20:42,894 I can't let you know 401 00:20:42,894 --> 00:20:43,573 what I really feel. 402 00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:44,773 I gotta go one way 403 00:20:44,773 --> 00:20:45,793 and then the other way with it. 404 00:20:47,253 --> 00:20:50,714 But the good news is we can table that for now. 405 00:20:50,894 --> 00:20:51,214 Okay. 406 00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:55,654 Because it's time for our next segment, Celebrity Fight Club. 407 00:20:55,873 --> 00:20:56,194 Ooh. 408 00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:00,873 Celebrity Fight Club. 409 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,974 Now, the way celebrity, Francis, why don't you explain Celebrity Fight Club? 410 00:21:06,253 --> 00:21:11,533 Celebrity Fight Club is where we each choose a celebrity, 411 00:21:12,093 --> 00:21:14,474 and we got to put them in a match against each other. 412 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:23,553 and we're going to basically fight using traits of that character or that actor 413 00:21:23,553 --> 00:21:25,313 or like stuff they've been involved with. 414 00:21:25,313 --> 00:21:30,133 So we can use their like repertoire of films or TV to like win the fight. 415 00:21:31,793 --> 00:21:34,353 Yeah, that's a good way to describe it. 416 00:21:34,654 --> 00:21:37,133 And no adjusting. 417 00:21:37,273 --> 00:21:50,667 So have you already picked your celebrity Francis Yeah Okay I have as well No adjusting based on who the other person picks 418 00:21:50,707 --> 00:21:52,387 Whoever says their celebrity first. 419 00:21:52,647 --> 00:21:54,147 What if we both have the same one? 420 00:21:54,267 --> 00:21:55,527 I don't think we will. 421 00:21:55,947 --> 00:21:57,087 I hope I know who it is. 422 00:21:57,247 --> 00:21:57,607 You will. 423 00:21:57,687 --> 00:21:58,787 I'll be fighting blind over here. 424 00:21:59,947 --> 00:22:00,267 Okay. 425 00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:01,767 Should I go first or do you? 426 00:22:02,647 --> 00:22:03,327 Uh, sure. 427 00:22:03,387 --> 00:22:03,867 You can go first. 428 00:22:03,927 --> 00:22:05,187 I'm definitely not going to change mine, so. 429 00:22:05,187 --> 00:22:05,447 Okay. 430 00:22:05,967 --> 00:22:07,627 I choose Adam Sandler. 431 00:22:08,667 --> 00:22:09,887 Ooh, okay. 432 00:22:10,347 --> 00:22:11,007 Who do you pick? 433 00:22:11,207 --> 00:22:12,867 I choose Greg Kinnear. 434 00:22:13,307 --> 00:22:14,287 I love him. 435 00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:16,327 I love him. 436 00:22:17,327 --> 00:22:17,767 Yes. 437 00:22:18,247 --> 00:22:18,607 Okay. 438 00:22:18,927 --> 00:22:19,567 Good choice. 439 00:22:19,747 --> 00:22:20,047 Thank you. 440 00:22:20,067 --> 00:22:20,747 I don't want to fight now. 441 00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:21,607 Aw. 442 00:22:22,047 --> 00:22:22,727 Somebody pick up. 443 00:22:22,907 --> 00:22:23,847 They're just best friends. 444 00:22:23,867 --> 00:22:24,907 I just want to take you to lunch. 445 00:22:25,147 --> 00:22:27,447 Now, I can tell you why I pick Greg Kinnear. 446 00:22:27,567 --> 00:22:27,787 Okay. 447 00:22:29,807 --> 00:22:35,027 He's very, like, unoffensive and unassuming. 448 00:22:35,027 --> 00:22:39,527 I don't think anyone has kind of like negative thoughts about Greg Kinnear. 449 00:22:39,727 --> 00:22:44,147 Even when he's the bad guy in something, he's still not even really that bad of a guy. 450 00:22:44,387 --> 00:22:53,027 And so I think in any kind of a situation, he'd either he'd be able to just kind of innocuous his way out of danger. 451 00:22:53,927 --> 00:23:03,867 OK, I think his big thing is kind of he'd blend in or he'd be charming enough to deflect any kind of onslaught that might come his way. 452 00:23:03,867 --> 00:23:14,347 okay um you know remind me later to tell you who he reminds me of is it me oh darn cancel the 453 00:23:14,347 --> 00:23:20,367 reminder all right so why did you pick adam sandler um because i was browsing prime the other day and 454 00:23:20,367 --> 00:23:25,567 i saw billy madison was on it that's it that's a really good reason to pick yeah it stuck in my 455 00:23:25,567 --> 00:23:30,647 head i watched the trailer you watched the trailer for billy madison yeah i like you were browsing 456 00:23:30,647 --> 00:23:34,227 probably even saw that not the millions of ads that have been out for happy gilmore too 457 00:23:34,227 --> 00:23:42,407 i've seen those too okay that didn't make me think of him no so what was it about billy 458 00:23:42,407 --> 00:23:47,087 madison that made you think he'd be good for celebrity fight club um it just reminded me that 459 00:23:47,087 --> 00:23:55,467 he's done so many things and so i knew i could i could pull a weapon out of anywhere okay so 460 00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:57,487 do we need to come up with a 461 00:23:57,487 --> 00:23:59,487 fighting scenario for these two 462 00:23:59,487 --> 00:24:01,767 and see how they would, who would win? 463 00:24:02,027 --> 00:24:03,707 Yeah, we just need to find a way to start 464 00:24:03,707 --> 00:24:05,667 the fight. And then we just fight. 465 00:24:07,087 --> 00:24:07,527 Okay. 466 00:24:07,967 --> 00:24:08,387 And then maybe 467 00:24:08,387 --> 00:24:11,847 when this episode is published 468 00:24:11,847 --> 00:24:13,267 we'll get like a boxing bell. 469 00:24:15,147 --> 00:24:15,587 Okay. 470 00:24:15,587 --> 00:24:16,927 So a bell would be... 471 00:24:16,927 --> 00:24:18,587 That's for the audience. 472 00:24:19,507 --> 00:24:20,487 Ding, ding, ding. 473 00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:23,487 I was uncanny. 474 00:24:23,907 --> 00:24:24,367 Thank you. 475 00:24:24,367 --> 00:24:26,687 I actually moonlight as a boxing bell. 476 00:24:26,867 --> 00:24:27,767 I thought you looked familiar. 477 00:24:30,047 --> 00:24:30,687 So. 478 00:24:32,687 --> 00:24:33,467 All right. 479 00:24:34,767 --> 00:24:38,607 Greg Kinnear just bought himself a whole home loose tube system. 480 00:24:39,407 --> 00:24:39,987 Smart. 481 00:24:40,307 --> 00:24:40,967 Wise man. 482 00:24:41,787 --> 00:24:42,547 Adam Sandler. 483 00:24:44,547 --> 00:24:45,147 Duh. 484 00:24:45,307 --> 00:24:45,987 Hates it. 485 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:49,587 Okay. 486 00:24:49,707 --> 00:24:52,307 So Greg Kinnear invited Adam Sandler over to look at his loose tubes. 487 00:24:53,187 --> 00:24:53,607 Yep. 488 00:24:54,367 --> 00:24:57,427 Greg Kinnear got the last set of loose tubes. 489 00:24:57,447 --> 00:24:58,747 Oh, no. 490 00:24:59,327 --> 00:25:01,287 That's true, because loose tubes are flying off the shelves. 491 00:25:01,387 --> 00:25:03,367 Folks, go to friendslikeuspod.com, 492 00:25:03,467 --> 00:25:05,127 pick up your own set of loose tubes. 493 00:25:06,427 --> 00:25:09,587 If you want to be like Greg Kinnear, 494 00:25:09,587 --> 00:25:11,427 you don't want to be like Adam Sandler 495 00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:13,387 and be left out in the cold. 496 00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:17,047 Okay, so Adam wanted loose tubes. 497 00:25:17,407 --> 00:25:20,087 Greg got the last set. 498 00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:21,547 Did you say Adam? 499 00:25:22,227 --> 00:25:22,507 Yeah. 500 00:25:23,007 --> 00:25:23,467 Who's Adam? 501 00:25:24,367 --> 00:25:25,287 Who's Sandler? 502 00:25:28,007 --> 00:25:29,587 Who did you think Greg was? 503 00:25:32,007 --> 00:25:32,847 I'm back. 504 00:25:33,027 --> 00:25:34,447 I'm back and I'm ready to fight. 505 00:25:35,087 --> 00:25:36,827 Okay, so Adam, my Adam. 506 00:25:40,787 --> 00:25:41,887 You were confused. 507 00:25:42,447 --> 00:25:42,787 Yeah, sorry. 508 00:25:43,067 --> 00:25:45,487 Your Adam wanted the last set of loose tubes. 509 00:25:45,947 --> 00:25:47,087 Greg Kinnear got them. 510 00:25:47,167 --> 00:25:48,387 And he invited Adam over. 511 00:25:48,587 --> 00:25:50,247 And then he was kind of just showing him off. 512 00:25:50,247 --> 00:25:50,467 Yeah. 513 00:25:51,207 --> 00:25:51,727 Okay. 514 00:25:52,127 --> 00:25:53,087 So I'm over. 515 00:25:53,087 --> 00:25:55,247 um 516 00:25:55,247 --> 00:25:55,327 um 517 00:25:55,327 --> 00:25:58,307 darn 518 00:25:58,307 --> 00:25:59,887 Greg 519 00:25:59,887 --> 00:26:01,967 can I have these 520 00:26:01,967 --> 00:26:05,027 I don't I don't know what to tell you 521 00:26:05,027 --> 00:26:06,807 I'm sorry I'm sorry Adam 522 00:26:06,807 --> 00:26:07,707 I 523 00:26:07,707 --> 00:26:11,247 I've always wanted to lose tubes for my house 524 00:26:11,247 --> 00:26:12,887 and it was a real dream of mine and I 525 00:26:12,887 --> 00:26:14,887 finally got them and I'm afraid I 526 00:26:14,887 --> 00:26:16,207 can't do that for you 527 00:26:16,207 --> 00:26:18,807 I'm sorry I've already 528 00:26:18,807 --> 00:26:21,007 filled I've already filled my garage 529 00:26:21,007 --> 00:26:21,607 with milk 530 00:26:21,607 --> 00:26:25,927 You know what, Greg? 531 00:26:26,927 --> 00:26:32,867 I have a feeling that you invited me over to hurt me, and that makes me mad. 532 00:26:34,087 --> 00:26:36,427 Ooh, Adam, I'm really sorry that you had that impression. 533 00:26:36,587 --> 00:26:38,247 Hey, let me make you a smoothie. 534 00:26:39,167 --> 00:26:39,947 From the tubes? 535 00:26:40,447 --> 00:26:41,407 Yeah, come on in. 536 00:26:41,667 --> 00:26:43,567 Come on into my bathroom. 537 00:26:43,907 --> 00:26:47,487 That's where I make all my smoothies now, because the tubes make everything so easy. 538 00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:48,887 Blood pressure's going up. 539 00:26:48,887 --> 00:26:59,407 Oh, hey, Adam, I'm still a real nice guy. So here's your your blood pressure medicine. Take some of that. I don't want you. I don't want you blowing your stack. 540 00:27:00,007 --> 00:27:05,447 Greg, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm going to kick your ass. 541 00:27:05,947 --> 00:27:16,687 Oh, hey, I'm not going to take that the wrong way. I'm Greg Kinnear. Everything's pretty jovial in my life. So you're saying you're going to kick my ass. That probably means it's going to be a real good time. 542 00:27:16,687 --> 00:27:18,087 what's this guy doing? 543 00:27:18,947 --> 00:27:20,027 All right, that's it. 544 00:27:20,227 --> 00:27:21,967 Did I tell you you look really good today? 545 00:27:22,907 --> 00:27:24,567 Did I tell you I brought a golf club 546 00:27:24,567 --> 00:27:26,667 from my hit film, Billy Madison? 547 00:27:27,367 --> 00:27:28,247 Now I'm primed. 548 00:27:30,827 --> 00:27:32,647 Oh, Adam, you're so funny. 549 00:27:32,727 --> 00:27:35,067 You're always confusing Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison. 550 00:27:35,387 --> 00:27:35,667 Fuck. 551 00:27:38,667 --> 00:27:40,367 Oh, Adam, it's okay if you swear. 552 00:27:41,007 --> 00:27:42,067 You're at Greg's house now. 553 00:27:42,067 --> 00:27:43,127 I forgot my own name a minute ago. 554 00:27:43,187 --> 00:27:43,687 I'm pissed. 555 00:27:44,827 --> 00:27:45,727 Oh, that's all right. 556 00:27:45,727 --> 00:27:50,567 Why don't you sit down and have a soothing glass of seltzer water? 557 00:27:50,907 --> 00:27:53,807 No, I'm hitting you with this golf club right now. 558 00:27:53,907 --> 00:27:54,767 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 559 00:27:55,147 --> 00:27:56,727 Here, take my UV. 560 00:27:58,087 --> 00:28:00,487 Clean that tube and put your mouth on it. 561 00:28:00,567 --> 00:28:04,367 All right, but only so that people understand how good this product is. 562 00:28:05,287 --> 00:28:06,807 Oh, I think they understand. 563 00:28:07,167 --> 00:28:08,547 Wow, that was easy. 564 00:28:09,187 --> 00:28:10,427 So clean and no bugs. 565 00:28:12,807 --> 00:28:13,927 Now I hit you. 566 00:28:13,927 --> 00:28:19,747 Well, I'm sure I had it coming, and I'll probably laugh it off. 567 00:28:20,467 --> 00:28:22,247 This black eye will heal in a few days. 568 00:28:22,667 --> 00:28:27,927 What can't heal is a broken friendship, and I would never want to break friendship with you, Adam. 569 00:28:29,067 --> 00:28:30,127 I'm too nice. 570 00:28:30,547 --> 00:28:31,507 I don't believe this. 571 00:28:31,967 --> 00:28:32,467 You know what? 572 00:28:32,767 --> 00:28:38,167 I bet you didn't know that I brought in a hot tutor to yell at you. 573 00:28:39,067 --> 00:28:39,867 A hot tutor? 574 00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:44,647 Oh, man, that's spelled T-O-O-T-E-R. 575 00:28:45,787 --> 00:28:47,047 That would be really funny. 576 00:28:47,407 --> 00:28:49,687 That's the kind of gentle comedy that I'm known for. 577 00:28:50,847 --> 00:28:52,247 I'm trying to hurt you, Greg. 578 00:28:53,687 --> 00:29:00,027 Well, you can't really hurt me because I'm 62 years old and I still look young. 579 00:29:00,947 --> 00:29:04,307 Oh, then in that case, I'll take the batteries out of your remote. 580 00:29:05,207 --> 00:29:07,127 So you can't click it anymore. 581 00:29:08,167 --> 00:29:09,387 Adam, great reference. 582 00:29:09,867 --> 00:29:12,227 Is that as good as it gets with you? 583 00:29:12,427 --> 00:29:13,767 I was in as good as it gets. 584 00:29:15,207 --> 00:29:16,467 You were great in that too. 585 00:29:17,067 --> 00:29:17,447 Thanks. 586 00:29:17,447 --> 00:29:18,207 You were gay in that. 587 00:29:19,067 --> 00:29:19,887 Yes, that's right. 588 00:29:20,587 --> 00:29:23,367 I forgot because I haven't seen that movie in a long time. 589 00:29:23,547 --> 00:29:24,967 Well, I don't watch the movies I'm in either. 590 00:29:25,667 --> 00:29:26,567 Well, why would you? 591 00:29:27,507 --> 00:29:29,287 Yeah, I wouldn't. 592 00:29:32,207 --> 00:29:35,427 I was in Mystery Men. 593 00:29:35,427 --> 00:29:43,327 I was the superhero guy that got captured and the other mystery men had to save the day. 594 00:29:43,887 --> 00:29:47,587 So I'm willing to take back seat to let others have the spotlight. 595 00:29:48,207 --> 00:29:48,487 Okay. 596 00:29:49,207 --> 00:29:53,787 Are you willing to be choked by a microphone wire from when I was in The Wedding Singer? 597 00:29:57,047 --> 00:30:02,587 Just as long as you take my motivational course that I tried to develop in Little Miss Sunshine. 598 00:30:02,587 --> 00:30:04,947 I don't need that. 599 00:30:05,427 --> 00:30:10,327 I've been on 50 first dates with motivational coaches. 600 00:30:11,667 --> 00:30:15,127 Well, boy, are you pregnant? 601 00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:18,927 Because I was a baby mom. 602 00:30:23,187 --> 00:30:23,747 Oh. 603 00:30:24,607 --> 00:30:26,287 Well, I think this fight's a draw. 604 00:30:26,667 --> 00:30:28,367 Okay, Mr. Daddy. 605 00:30:29,527 --> 00:30:30,267 Mr. Big Daddy. 606 00:30:31,447 --> 00:30:32,147 That's you. 607 00:30:32,147 --> 00:30:33,587 You were a big daddy. 608 00:30:33,707 --> 00:30:35,127 Yeah, I was putting my accomplishments on you. 609 00:30:35,127 --> 00:30:37,367 I really wish I knew if we were ever in a movie together. 610 00:30:38,447 --> 00:30:39,307 Maybe we were. 611 00:30:39,407 --> 00:30:40,387 We might have been. 612 00:30:41,407 --> 00:30:44,087 There's no way that we will ever know this or remember it. 613 00:30:44,307 --> 00:30:47,567 Well, if you promise to let me keep coming over to use your loose tubes, 614 00:30:47,867 --> 00:30:50,087 I promise to always be your friend. 615 00:30:50,787 --> 00:30:53,847 Hey, my loose tubes are your loose tubes. 616 00:30:54,167 --> 00:30:55,227 That makes me happy. 617 00:30:56,207 --> 00:30:56,987 Thanks, Adam. 618 00:30:57,107 --> 00:30:58,467 I'm glad we resolved this fight. 619 00:30:58,807 --> 00:30:59,487 Who's Adam? 620 00:31:02,787 --> 00:31:03,227 Whoa. 621 00:31:03,507 --> 00:31:03,867 Wow. 622 00:31:03,867 --> 00:31:04,627 That was crazy. 623 00:31:05,127 --> 00:31:10,347 whoa i can't believe i was i felt like greg kinnear yeah i totally did too 624 00:31:10,347 --> 00:31:14,287 yeah he was so nice he he went on me 625 00:31:14,287 --> 00:31:20,847 he's nice like that he will go on you i think adam's nice too i think adam he was pretty nice 626 00:31:20,847 --> 00:31:24,407 i wanted to do an impression but i've never done one before and i didn't want to do him a disservice 627 00:31:24,407 --> 00:31:32,227 yeah uh i think you sounded exactly like adam sandler you like that yeah i bought a adam sandler 628 00:31:32,227 --> 00:31:34,727 windpipe on Amazon. 629 00:31:35,687 --> 00:31:37,387 That was a loose pipe. 630 00:31:38,347 --> 00:31:38,647 Another. 631 00:31:38,907 --> 00:31:39,307 Wow. 632 00:31:39,567 --> 00:31:40,047 They're everywhere. 633 00:31:40,047 --> 00:31:40,667 That's a sign. 634 00:31:41,407 --> 00:31:42,027 All right. 635 00:31:42,047 --> 00:31:44,687 Well, that has been Celebrity Fight Club. 636 00:31:45,947 --> 00:31:48,167 Well, I'm glad that they worked it out. 637 00:31:48,747 --> 00:31:49,227 Yeah, I was. 638 00:31:49,427 --> 00:31:50,507 I was worried for a second. 639 00:31:50,507 --> 00:31:51,847 Yeah, I thought it was going to get more violent. 640 00:31:52,847 --> 00:31:53,907 But it all ended well. 641 00:31:54,927 --> 00:31:55,167 Yeah. 642 00:31:55,287 --> 00:31:56,227 Oh, I forgot to say Waterboy. 643 00:31:57,027 --> 00:31:57,707 No, that's all right. 644 00:31:57,767 --> 00:31:58,567 Next time they fight. 645 00:31:58,847 --> 00:32:01,067 Yeah, because you know that it's happened. 646 00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:02,027 They're not done. 647 00:32:02,027 --> 00:32:03,667 They can't help themselves. 648 00:32:04,607 --> 00:32:09,367 Well, it's time for one last segment here on the pod. 649 00:32:09,767 --> 00:32:11,147 Segment we like to call. 650 00:32:11,987 --> 00:32:13,347 The big question. 651 00:32:14,407 --> 00:32:17,007 The question is very big. 652 00:32:18,047 --> 00:32:20,087 Francis, do you have a big question for me? 653 00:32:20,107 --> 00:32:22,027 Yeah, I got a huge question. 654 00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:22,387 All right. 655 00:32:22,547 --> 00:32:23,767 I'm ready. 656 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:24,267 Okay. 657 00:32:25,007 --> 00:32:26,247 This is a regular question. 658 00:32:26,247 --> 00:32:41,500 My question is if you were going to come up with a scam like what would your scam be how would you like scam like to get money from people 659 00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:43,280 that's not the only scam this is your scam 660 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,600 but what else is there 661 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:46,460 I guess at the end of the day 662 00:32:46,460 --> 00:32:49,540 it's all there is 663 00:32:49,540 --> 00:32:53,500 I forgot about power 664 00:32:53,500 --> 00:32:56,860 I think 665 00:32:56,860 --> 00:32:59,800 I would want to do a scam 666 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:09,500 that involves that in the end is kind of harmless it doesn't hurt anybody doesn't really 667 00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:18,380 so great can hear i know i'm channeling greg still um yeah it doesn't really but like it's 668 00:33:18,380 --> 00:33:26,040 just more comedic more like why did anyone put in all the effort to do that okay um 669 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:36,460 i would do okay i would pretend to be superintendent of all the schools 670 00:33:36,460 --> 00:33:40,880 you pretend to be superintendent well it's a scam i'm not actually the superintendent 671 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:44,440 well how do you make sure the real superintendent doesn't show up i 672 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:53,040 give i send the superintendent the real superintendent away on a cruise 673 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:57,940 the superintendent wins a cruise okay and as part of the cruise package 674 00:33:57,940 --> 00:34:05,220 they say don't worry about your job you'll still be paid during this time someone another a trained 675 00:34:05,220 --> 00:34:10,481 superintendent will come and they will take a they will run your job for you so you can just 676 00:34:10,481 --> 00:34:16,580 have a good time nice and relaxing on your cruise and it's a no technology cruise so they can't be 677 00:34:16,580 --> 00:34:24,020 reached i'm sorry i just if i can jump in yeah so your scam is not about making money and so far 678 00:34:24,020 --> 00:34:28,120 you're down at least five grand for this cruise correct and you've got to find a cruise that's 679 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:32,380 no technology yep which tells me you're gonna have to buy a cruise ship correct yeah okay 680 00:34:32,380 --> 00:34:37,380 just make sure i was on the no yeah no no on the same page um and 681 00:34:37,380 --> 00:34:48,280 then okay so the superintendent's on the cruise i then say i'm making a new 682 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:56,760 teacher's schedule for all the teachers in the whole district and i'm gonna make some i'm gonna 683 00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:05,520 shuffle some people around and so every kindergarten class every like first grade class 684 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:10,820 every second grade, whatever, they're all going to get a new teacher. 685 00:35:10,820 --> 00:35:16,220 But from the existing pool of first grade, second grade, kindergarten teachers, what have you. 686 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:17,900 You're shuffling the teachers around? 687 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:18,880 Yes. 688 00:35:19,020 --> 00:35:20,660 They're all still going to teach their own grades. 689 00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:25,160 And no one's going to be like, this is weird that the stand in. 690 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:26,140 No. 691 00:35:26,501 --> 00:35:26,700 No. 692 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:33,800 No, because part of what they have to do, part of the thing was the superintendent 693 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:38,600 had to record a video before getting onto the cruise 694 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:43,800 that was like, hey, this is a way to reassure everyone in the school district 695 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,300 that you're happy, that you're fine. 696 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,880 So the superintendent records this video that's like, hey, everybody out there, 697 00:35:51,001 --> 00:35:53,540 I'm loving this cruise, I'm having a great time. 698 00:35:53,940 --> 00:35:56,380 Listen to Jenna, she knows what she's talking about. 699 00:35:56,380 --> 00:35:57,120 Use your real name. 700 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:02,140 Yeah, oh, no, no, I'm leaning into this, right? 701 00:36:02,140 --> 00:36:04,981 so no I'm using my real name 702 00:36:04,981 --> 00:36:07,220 because no one's losing money so no one's going to sue 703 00:36:07,220 --> 00:36:08,840 right 704 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,160 and it's not even like 705 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,720 it's a 706 00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:14,760 it's a prank more than anything else it's just 707 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:15,780 making teachers 708 00:36:15,780 --> 00:36:18,840 teach at schools that are 709 00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:20,800 not their normal schools and it'll just be like one 710 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,860 day at a time and this will be like a full week 711 00:36:22,860 --> 00:36:24,800 and teachers rotate 712 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,140 from school to school 713 00:36:26,140 --> 00:36:28,800 the kids get a different teacher every 714 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:30,640 day and the fun thing is I think the kids 715 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,540 will actually enjoy having a different teacher every day. 716 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:37,660 It's kind of fun to mix up the energy in the classroom. 717 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,140 So it's like a harmless prank, really. 718 00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:41,440 If anything, it's helpful. 719 00:36:42,220 --> 00:36:44,960 The teachers maybe get to see how other classrooms get run. 720 00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:48,620 But nobody gets harmed. 721 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,100 It's not even like a kindergarten teacher is always teaching kindergarten. 722 00:36:54,260 --> 00:36:57,460 So it's not like any teacher or any parent will be like, 723 00:36:57,460 --> 00:36:59,660 hey you sent a second grade teacher 724 00:36:59,660 --> 00:37:01,060 to teach my kindergarteners 725 00:37:01,060 --> 00:37:05,840 you're ruining their education 726 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:06,620 you're 727 00:37:06,620 --> 00:37:09,860 so upset I can't even tell you 728 00:37:09,860 --> 00:37:10,300 what you are 729 00:37:10,300 --> 00:37:13,720 I love the concept 730 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:15,140 but I just feel like 731 00:37:15,140 --> 00:37:17,540 there's no scam 732 00:37:17,540 --> 00:37:19,960 really in it, it's just a prank like you said 733 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,440 and now you're down like 734 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,880 millions of dollars 735 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,840 unless you happen to find a technology-less 736 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:28,040 cruise. But then you're still down 737 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:29,780 thousands of dollars. You got 738 00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:32,040 nothing out of it. You used your real name. 739 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,600 Okay. As 740 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,280 part of this, 741 00:37:37,780 --> 00:37:39,660 I don't pay for the 742 00:37:39,660 --> 00:37:40,540 cruise ship. 743 00:37:42,220 --> 00:37:43,060 I go 744 00:37:43,060 --> 00:37:44,660 to Carnival Cruises 745 00:37:44,660 --> 00:37:47,380 and I tell them 746 00:37:47,380 --> 00:37:53,001 I tell them 747 00:37:53,001 --> 00:37:57,060 they just want a trip 748 00:37:57,060 --> 00:38:03,320 they just want a trip to Six Flags 749 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,060 and 750 00:38:05,060 --> 00:38:08,940 I'll take care of their boat 751 00:38:08,940 --> 00:38:09,840 for the week 752 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,240 so 753 00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:14,040 the boat's free 754 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:15,501 of course 755 00:38:15,501 --> 00:38:17,220 they get a free trip to Six Flags 756 00:38:17,220 --> 00:38:18,800 but you had to pay for Six Flags 757 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,160 okay hear me out 758 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:34,820 i go to six flags of course i tell them okay you guys just won a trip to yosemite 759 00:38:34,820 --> 00:38:42,220 you found a free place yes yosemite is free that's a national park yeah i don't have to pay 760 00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:47,260 for that so then that's the end of the line now the six flags people are yosemite the carnival 761 00:38:47,260 --> 00:38:54,180 people are at six flags the superintendents on the carnival cruise and the teachers all get mixed up 762 00:38:54,180 --> 00:38:59,420 for a fun week okay yeah i've come around to this and i didn't have to pay for anything 763 00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:08,720 somehow yep well done thank you excellent scam you really uh really run an oceans 11 over here 764 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:14,780 yeah uh and the great thing is is like everyone's gonna come back they're gonna have a great time 765 00:39:14,780 --> 00:39:20,340 so even if they realize what just happened to them that they'd all been duped they're like 766 00:39:20,340 --> 00:39:26,440 you know what i got a picture of me on a roller coaster screaming looking scared and it's gonna 767 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:31,140 go up my fridge now i can't be that mad at jenna i got a picture of me at yosemite yeah 768 00:39:31,140 --> 00:39:39,600 crapping into a rock toilet yes exactly i drove by a 10 year old's i got a picture of him 769 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,560 No, you don't endorse that. 770 00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:42,580 Don't do that. 771 00:39:42,580 --> 00:39:43,280 You really don't. 772 00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:48,760 Six Flags employees, when you're at Yosemite, don't take pictures of 10-year-olds that you don't know. 773 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,180 They could be the future inventor of loose tubes for all you know. 774 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:51,660 I know. 775 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,600 So, yeah, that would be my scam. 776 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:56,520 Thank you. 777 00:39:57,900 --> 00:39:58,560 You're welcome. 778 00:39:59,420 --> 00:40:01,080 Do you have a scam in mind? 779 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:03,880 No. 780 00:40:04,481 --> 00:40:04,880 Okay. 781 00:40:05,940 --> 00:40:07,880 Well, I mean, it's hard to follow. 782 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:08,660 It's hard to follow. 783 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:10,680 Something like that. 784 00:40:10,820 --> 00:40:11,180 I know. 785 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,400 God, listeners, if you're listening, don't do that scam. 786 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:16,580 That's my scam, okay? 787 00:40:16,660 --> 00:40:17,040 Or do. 788 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:17,940 You can't get in trouble. 789 00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:19,640 All you did was lie. 790 00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:21,080 Yeah. 791 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:23,481 You just, yeah. 792 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,260 Just gay people, good time. 793 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:27,001 That's all you did. 794 00:40:27,220 --> 00:40:29,300 I thought you just said, gay people, good time. 795 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:30,460 That too. 796 00:40:31,340 --> 00:40:32,180 Carnival Cruise. 797 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,780 Hey, gay people, good time. 798 00:40:35,780 --> 00:40:37,060 Come on my cruise. 799 00:40:37,060 --> 00:40:45,940 so yeah that's uh that's that's my scam i stand by it okay i will log it in the book of scams 800 00:40:45,940 --> 00:40:52,660 all right well that wraps up the big question big question all right well there's only one 801 00:40:52,660 --> 00:41:04,260 final bit of business uh-huh um the word of the day yep uh i said mine i said mine you did 802 00:41:04,860 --> 00:41:05,660 I did say mine. 803 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:06,660 Okay. 804 00:41:07,660 --> 00:41:09,021 Joe looked at a disbelief. 805 00:41:09,060 --> 00:41:10,240 I said it and he missed it. 806 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:11,080 Wow. 807 00:41:11,180 --> 00:41:11,880 No, no, I said it. 808 00:41:11,940 --> 00:41:12,460 Well, I believe you. 809 00:41:13,580 --> 00:41:15,080 I said mine during Invention of the Week. 810 00:41:15,380 --> 00:41:15,640 You did? 811 00:41:15,780 --> 00:41:16,060 Yeah. 812 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,481 When did you say yours? 813 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:20,740 During that too. 814 00:41:21,260 --> 00:41:21,660 Ooh. 815 00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:22,600 Wow. 816 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,440 We just had words flying all over the place. 817 00:41:26,260 --> 00:41:28,700 I wrote down Onslaught. 818 00:41:30,100 --> 00:41:30,620 No. 819 00:41:31,660 --> 00:41:32,100 Huh. 820 00:41:32,740 --> 00:41:33,780 Was yours pneumatic? 821 00:41:34,260 --> 00:41:35,400 I didn't say pneumatic. 822 00:41:36,060 --> 00:41:37,380 I thought maybe you did. 823 00:41:37,660 --> 00:41:40,021 No, I should have, though, because that would have really made sense with the tubes. 824 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:41,760 No, my word was licks. 825 00:41:43,300 --> 00:41:43,700 Licks? 826 00:41:43,860 --> 00:41:43,981 Yeah. 827 00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:45,460 L-I-C-K-S? 828 00:41:45,580 --> 00:41:45,760 Yep. 829 00:41:47,140 --> 00:41:48,100 When did you say that? 830 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:49,580 Get your licks in? 831 00:41:50,740 --> 00:41:51,700 We'll hear it later. 832 00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:52,380 I don't remember. 833 00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:54,360 I for sure said it. 834 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:54,580 Okay. 835 00:41:56,620 --> 00:41:58,320 My word was trimmings. 836 00:42:00,540 --> 00:42:03,800 I said, so when you're talking about the tubes coming down, 837 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:06,560 I said so the tubes are basically 838 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,180 like a soda machine 839 00:42:08,180 --> 00:42:09,660 but without all the trimmings 840 00:42:09,660 --> 00:42:12,380 I'm sorry I can't hear the word trimming 841 00:42:12,380 --> 00:42:14,060 without thinking of something else 842 00:42:14,060 --> 00:42:16,320 listener get your mind out of the gutter 843 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,080 yeah we're talking about ribbons 844 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:19,501 miser hands 845 00:42:19,501 --> 00:42:22,160 alright 846 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:23,840 well we didn't get it 847 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,900 well again both coming up 848 00:42:25,900 --> 00:42:27,660 we're just too good at this 849 00:42:27,660 --> 00:42:29,240 great bit we're doing huh 850 00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:31,240 really successful bit 851 00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:34,001 I hope the listener appreciates how much. 852 00:42:34,940 --> 00:42:38,420 Well, it's a difficult thing to do. 853 00:42:39,140 --> 00:42:44,481 To pick it out in the middle of our amazing dialogue. 854 00:42:46,140 --> 00:42:47,700 That's winding down. 855 00:42:48,140 --> 00:42:49,140 We're sundowning. 856 00:42:49,481 --> 00:42:49,640 Yeah. 857 00:42:49,780 --> 00:42:50,240 Oh, it's getting. 858 00:42:52,260 --> 00:42:54,300 Hey, let's go to bed, babe. 859 00:42:55,060 --> 00:42:56,060 Sure thing, babe. 860 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:57,160 Got your loose tube? 861 00:42:57,800 --> 00:42:58,860 Got mine on my side of bed. 862 00:42:59,080 --> 00:42:59,180 I do. 863 00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:02,240 uh, 864 00:43:03,140 --> 00:43:03,400 well, 865 00:43:03,481 --> 00:43:04,060 with that, 866 00:43:04,940 --> 00:43:05,900 uh, 867 00:43:05,981 --> 00:43:08,640 this is another episode of friends like us. 868 00:43:08,860 --> 00:43:09,001 Yeah. 869 00:43:09,580 --> 00:43:10,640 Thanks for listening. 870 00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:11,220 Okay. 871 00:43:11,820 --> 00:43:12,200 Bye. 872 00:43:12,660 --> 00:43:13,560 You hang up first. 873 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:14,380 No, 874 00:43:14,420 --> 00:43:15,140 you hang up first.