you've inspired me to talk to old people no i'm gonna i'm cutting away their ability to do it
guess who's got the high ground now you just walk up to them hi we're not peers
How was your day?
Do you have any Werthers?
My dad had a bag of those in the car.
He's 75.
See, that's the kind of shit.
It's like, be aware.
Be self-aware.
That's an old person thing.
Yeah.
Like, I don't do anything gay in the car.
Except the one thing.
Except for the sex with men.
But other than that.
You know, I'm not walking around with bachelorette party penises.
I know.
I keep giving them to you and you keep going, no.
They're in the trunk.
when you got rear-ended and the truck pops open there's just penises fly everywhere they just
leave i can't deal with this bye well hopefully they don't leave they rear-ended you so
but that could stir up some gay panic so oh so you're okay with them leaving no i'm just i'm
saying i understand what if they didn't do any damage because the the penises took the brunt of
it they saved your car i would be like get back here and pick up every single one of those and
put it back in the trunk those are gifts for my dear friend jenna
every one of them has a shaw on it
what a penis gift you would invent like something for a penis or something penis related Either I would invent a sheath for your sword that looks like a penis
The play on the pen is mightier than the sword.
The penis.
So the pen goes into a...
A penis?
No.
The sword goes into a penis sheath.
Oh, so it's for people who have swords.
Yes.
Of course.
For people walking around with swords.
And just the sheath looks like one.
Yeah.
Yeah, so it's like hanging off your belt
so it looks like a really long penis.
Of course, yeah.
And then to prove that you're not gay,
you pull the sword out.
Yeah, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
Say that again.
Call me gay again.
Say that to my rapier.
Is that what they call this?
Say that to my rapist.
Okay.
Okay, great.
Good.
I'm glad we got that out of the way.
and now improv
Monica babe yeah I uh I don't want to cause any problems and I'm happy that you got that really
cool bachelorette party and I wasn't jealous but I'm a little uncomfortable with um some of
gifts they got you. What?
Oh. They were just
funnin'. They were having some fun.
But you've been
using them. Yeah.
Well, I mean, it would be a waste
otherwise.
But they're all
so much more impressive than me.
Look, honey.
I've...
I don't know what to tell you.
I put them
on the back of my car as a bumper guard and they been working you tried you tried to sit back there you said put me in the trunk I going to put my hands on the bumper So if somebody tries to back up and hit your car I stop it from getting damaged
And you tried that and all you ended up with was broken fingers. So yeah, I'm sorry.
The dildos are more impressive than you at stopping damage to my car.
okay well if you're so confident then i'm gonna host my own party great i would love that and i'm
gonna get many gifts good it's this saturday here's an invitation oh well you had this planned
it's a
it's a vagina party what does that even mean i don't know yet i put it out on the internet
I said bring your V's
Wait who do you think is showing up at this party?
I didn't limit it
I'm afraid it's going to be a bunch of ladies
Would that be the worst thing in the world?
You wouldn't be jealous Monica
Well how are they using their V's?
I don't know yet this is my first one
Okay remember how I said that I could do
I could clean the house so much better
because I could use
I could pick things up
with both my hands
and my V
yeah
but while I was still holding things
I could squat, pick things up
and still be holding things in both my hands
of course
so I'd be 50% more efficient
people without a feet do you remember that i guess vividly and you remember how i i couldn't
quite make it work you not inviting these people over here to clean the house are you well if you did it I tried I would have had to send these invitations out to the greater world
I knew that would come back and bite me.
Cut to the party.
Damn it, Donald.
Oh, this is a pretty great party.
Thanks.
Why are there pencils all over the ground?
Um, I don't know, but...
Could you get it?
I've got two drinks in my hand
That's cool
I bet you can think of a way
To get it
I don't know
I have
I don't know
I might not be able to
In the meantime, I've been practicing my deep squats
And I've been putting Crisco on the floor
I'm just going to show you my deep squat
Real quick
Okay
Go
Oh my god.
Okay, thanks.
You should go.
Okay.
Do you want these pencils back?
Nope.
I want them out of the house.
Okay.
Thanks for the pencils and the two drinks.
Feel free to come back later.
Cut to after the party.
Honey, we have no more pencils left.
And I'm not sorry, Monica.
Donald, this is exactly what I feared would happen.
My inadequacies are...
You're just putting them in the limelight.
Do yourself a favor and go suction up those divorce papers I had printed out.
Scene.
you