ladies and gentlemen i'd like to welcome you to very fun friends
don't mind that owl hooting in the background he's just excited about bonus improv
joe can we get a suggestion for our improv please
mm-hmm
oh that was like the beginning of jaws
mm-hmm
yeah
mm-hmm
your suggestion is jaws
no i'm kidding
your suggestion is weddings
weddings
either
with d's or with t's take it how you will
okay
weddings
I'm up
I think weddings are
exhausting
yeah I have a rule and I sometimes break it
it's like people I really like invite me but I usually I'm like I don't want to go to any
yeah don't invite me
but I'm sorry I'm like I'm sorry I didn't go to weddings and then someone who's like
a really good friend is like i'd love you if you come to my wedding i'm like what am i gonna say
no yeah i know i would have made you come to mine i would have loved to come thank you i appreciate
it and i was i would have closed it out it was it was fun i think i closed it out actually
i was having so much fun i i stayed till the very end it was fun it was a fun party
what was your dance to um uh dancing cheek to cheek heaven i'm in heaven and my heart beats
no not not Tony Bennett an older version um Anthony Bennett yeah senior living la vida loca
oh that's sweet yeah what was your favorite part of your wedding
um i don't know it was a it was a just like a fun party i don't know i was nice like i didn't
i don't i don't know i guess dancing and having fun i think it's drinking i don't know i think
it's nice that for like an event like that you get to guarantee that there's no one there that
you don't want to see.
You do, but they're inevitably...
You could theoretically
cut people out that you don't want to see.
But then
you're going to have a lot of headache on your
hands. Oh, like family?
You didn't invite me.
I thought you were dead.
Oh no I thought you were dead I went to a funeral I don know whose funeral that was I cried and cried Oh that interesting Yeah It worth it though Yeah When it yours you don It not It more annoying for your guests that don want to talk to that one guest that you had
to invite.
Yeah.
How many people were there?
80, maybe 100.
I don't know.
I don't remember.
A lot of gifts, huh?
I don't remember.
Oh my God.
The last wedding I went to, I forgot to bring a gift.
it's okay you you have a year to give a gift so if you don't i mean not that you need to get one
now i'm saying like over a year i think well yeah but i mean like that's that's that's a rule so
like no one was like i'm sure no one was like francis didn't bring a gift what was that all
about that's so not also like so many people send gifts like just directly from the registry to
wherever they're going that it's like not showing up with a gift is not a big deal
I wouldn't worry about it.
I feel a lot better.
Good.
Yeah.
So you just have to hope they didn't realize a year later that you didn't send them anything.
Yeah.
They got other things going on.
Don't dwell on that.
Yeah.
And now, improv.
Hey, so pretty, pretty fun wedding.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
I'm the bride's uncle.
Bride's uncle.
Oh.
Steven.
Steven, I've heard so much about you.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
That's weird.
Yeah.
Juliet, like, I haven't.
I've seen her maybe once in my life.
I really, I was, you know.
Yeah.
I'm family, but, you know, I don't really know Juliet that much.
But anyway.
Oh, that's what she told me.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
that tracks that tracks i uh i gotta i'm looking around this wedding i gotta wonder
who do you think uh every wedding has that one person that the bride and the groom didn't really
want there who do you think that is who do you think that is i'm i'm placing bets i'm placing
bets oh i don't know i'm i'm really just here to have a good time and and oh yeah me too me too
me too i'm here to have a good time maybe make a little money on my bets what yeah yeah i'm making
some bets oh why if you want to get in on that action i don't know hey hey hey i don't know you
can't you could you could take the man out of vegas but you can't take the vegas out of the man
I'm not legally allowed in Vegas anymore.
Oh, Uncle Steven.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah, I heard that too.
Yeah.
Anyway, so who do you think it is?
Who do you think is the one that's like the embarrassment?
The one that they don't want here?
I really don't know.
Hey, I'll give you 10 to 1 on Aunt Muriel.
Okay, I'm not much of a gambler.
And I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Oh, hey, hey.
But I think it's you.
What?
No.
Yep.
If I had to bet, I would say it's you.
What?
No I not even on my list of potentials You are now because that who I betting Oh no no no All right I putting my name
All right, you want to lose your money.
Here's $10.
You want to lose $10?
Here's $10.
Great, I will take your $10.
Hey, I stuffed it in my bra.
I knew I was going to have to use it.
Hey, I will take it.
I will take that sweaty $10.
Good, okay.
What's wrong with your boobs?
Why are they sweating so much?
Nothing's wrong with my boobs.
They're humidifying as per normal.
This $10 bill is soaking wet.
Yeah, I've been dancing.
All right, well, maybe I'm going to put you down as one of the old sweaty boobs.
Well.
Sorry, I didn't get your real name.
Christine.
Christine, okay.
Well, all right, now you and I are both on the list, I guess.
Yeah, well, I just feel compelled to tell you that I've seen them both a lot.
We're very good friends.
So there's a very low chance that it's me.
Juliet and what's his face?
Yeah.
The guy with the big nose and the skin tag?
Yeah.
I'm calling him skin tag.
Well, please don't.
Yeah.
He won't mind.
I do it in a fun way.
I do it in a way that's fun.
That's why people like me.
Except people in Vegas, which I am not legally allowed back in.
I know, that's tough.
They actually invited you?
You have like an invitation?
Can I see it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here you go.
It's an actual invitation.
Oh, that's...
That's...
That does not say Stephen on it, though.
It says,
my favorite uncle.
Okay.
Do they know you're here?
I'm assuming it was me.
Look.
My gift?
My brother...
My brother, he doesn't know I do this.
But I kind of live in my Pinto around the corner from his house.
And I go through his mail just to see if there's anything in there that maybe he doesn't need but I could use.
And then I saw this come in and it was addressed to my favorite uncle and I assumed that meant me and not Derek.
Who would like Derek best?
He's a dentist.
he's been married to the same woman for 37 years how boring i've had six different lives
oh yeah oh my god here here he comes here he comes right now oh skin tag don't say that
skin tag hey stop it hey skin tag hey skin tag oh my god look what you made me do
hey see it's fun right it's not fun nickname i'm so scary skin tech oh my god
It's happening again, man.
My boobs are sweating.
Christine, just lean into it.
I'm panicking.
Hey.
Mr. Skin Tag.
Oh!
Mr. and Mrs. Skin Tag now.
Oh, my God.
Am I red?
Yeah, yeah.
But also sweaty.
People will assume it from the dancing so don worry about it Oh okay Look No you look What would you give me as a nickname if you had to What would I
give you? Yeah, get over here.
I'd give you
Soaked Mammeries.
Soaked Mammeries? Yeah.
That's your nickname.
What are you trying to say?
Soaky Mams. Soaky Mams?
Stop it. That you have so much boob sweat.
You need to stop it right now.
What? You know what they say about weddings, don't you?
that they're a great place to make a little money on side bets.
Yes, that's right.
Oh my God, Steven.
Oh my God, I didn't think this was going to happen.
Oh my God.
Oh, what is...
We're not even at a Roy Rogers right now.
Find my skin tags.
You have skin tags?
Everywhere.
Christine I gotta tell you this is moving a little fast for me
Oh really?
Yeah
I was just here to make a little money
A few side bets
You made it I gave you $10
What's it gonna get me?
Oh my god they're playing our song
It's the Macarena
We don't have a song
Christine
I'm gonna unhook my bra just a little
Wait, wait, hang on
Oh my god
Oh god, oh it's just like a
Oh my god, it's like you were pregnant and your water broke
There's just, you took your bra
And there's water everywhere
Maybe later I'll be pregnant for real
Christine, this is a
This is taking a weird turn
It's a wedding
Wait, hey, Julia, hey, Julia
Hey, it's Uncle Stevie
Get away from us
Sorry about that
I'm over 40 and single
I just wanted to ask her about
Who the black sheep at this wedding was
Oh yeah we need to know
Come here hold me
Christine
Hey the black sheep
Juliet is it
Oh I'm Christine
I'm drunk
Christine you sloppy bitch
Why'd you call me over here
Look at me and Steven
Oh my god
Your boob sweat is all over him
You marked him as yours
He wanted it
Oh, Steve, you dirty dog.
We need to settle a bet.
Which one of us is the one that's not wanted here?
Why are you going to get to just us?
Okay.
I wasn't going to reveal this, but clearly you guys have gotten serious,
so I feel like I should tell you the truth.
No.
The person that we didn't ultimately want at this wedding
is the love child that we know that you two are going to conceive tonight.
You know what that means?
We gotta go.
No, Soaky Mams, no!
Bye, Skintech.
Scene.