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so we have new equipment here in the podcast studio it's kind of exciting there's preloaded

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sound effects

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which

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Joe is having a field day with

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uh-huh

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what else what else you got in there Joe

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yeah okay good good

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crickets

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oh the record scratch

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I think the record scratch

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thank you thank you that applauses for me

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the record scratch is what we should use

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for our middle segment

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spoiler alert

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I'm sorry

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they're going to find out eventually.

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Audience, hit your head really hard

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and forget what you just heard.

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But not all the way to the beginning.

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Yeah, not hard enough

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that you forget what podcasts are

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and how much you love us.

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Say you love us.

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They haven't still.

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You do love us, right?

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I will beg.

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Okay.

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Now I'm worried Joe's going to abuse this throughout.

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Joe's never...

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He likes pressing the buttons.

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He's not going to abuse buttons.

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He might. I've seen him abuse a lot less.

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Joe, loosen up your buttons.

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Unclench your buttons, Joe.

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Okay, well, welcome to Very Fine Friends.

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Podcasts where friends talk about stuff.

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That reminds me of a new word I just invented.

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Discuss.

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What's that?

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It was a mixture of discussing stuff.

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We're friends. Disgust.

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I guess it sucks.

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Never mind.

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Go to your room.

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Okay. Disgust.

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Door slam button, Joe.

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How are you doing?

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Much better, thank you.

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Good. Had a real rough patch, but it's a smooth patch now.

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Good. Glad to hear it.

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Yeah.

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I was mildly sick.

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Really, I've been way worse before.

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Just a little bit of a cough, but it's been annoying.

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it's come back a little bit today.

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I'm sure the audience can relate it's going around.

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Yeah, it's going around in a few weeks from now.

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When they hear this.

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Oh, God.

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I hate that you have this power now.

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It's too much.

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Quick interruption.

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Every week on the podcast,

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we do something where our producer Joe

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gives Francis and I each our own secret word.

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Throughout the course of the podcast,

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we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing.

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If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point.

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And right before we die, we add up all the points.

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And then we get a prize, whoever has the most points, for guessing the most secret words.

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Here's Joe with today's secret words.

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Jenna's secret word is semantics.

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Jenna's decoy word is evasions.

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Francis's secret word is talisman.

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Francis's decoy word is jackasses.

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Back to the pod.

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It's too much.

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TM, TM.

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Trademark, trademark.

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Wait, trademark?

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Does that mean you want to invent something, Francis?

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What do you mean want to?

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I did.

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I know. So it's time for the invention of the week.

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Inventions.

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Lay it on me, tits.

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Okay.

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I will.

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Okay. This is a real quick one.

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I think we're going to be done within seven minutes because it's that good.

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Oh, okay, great.

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Okay. Gunshot.

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You know how there's food in the fridge?

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I do know that sometimes.

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Not really in my fridge, but in theory.

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In other people's fridges.

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In other people's fridges, yeah.

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That's just where food goes.

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And yet, in other people's fridges, space is such a commodity.

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Have you noticed?

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Yeah.

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Sometimes they're just like packed to the gills.

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Yeah.

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There's no effing room.

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I know.

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Enter me.

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Here I am with my invention.

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You know how eggs take up a lot of space?

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Yes.

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Yeah, sure.

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Well, yeah, they do.

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They do.

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Yeah, they do.

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They do.

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You're right.

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There's a lot of, it's a lot of horizontal space.

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Yeah, it's real estate that we really can't afford to be giving up to eggs.

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Novum to the ovum, baby.

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I've got a salute.

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Okay.

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It is this.

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It's an egg carton.

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It's similar to an egg carton.

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It's made of lightweight polymer or acrylic.

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Very lightweight.

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And on the top are three suction cups

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that goes to the roof of your fridge.

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and the eggs go in the baskets

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that are now suspended from the roof of the fridge,

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freeing up a bunch of space on the shelf.

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Wait, I'm having trouble picturing this.

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So it's just the egg carton is just attached

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to the roof of the fridge?

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It's...

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No, it's not the egg carton.

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Okay.

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It's a new egg carton.

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so it's like an egg teat basically is what you're saying

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yep it's like it's like that yeah yeah but yeah yep yep yep that's it

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but wait that's it wait no wait i need more description okay okay let's assume just hear me

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picture me out.

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Okay.

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What if you made a chair for an egg?

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Done.

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And you made 11 more and you connected them.

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Okay.

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And then at the corner and one in the middle,

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there was a suction cup.

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So there's three suction cups total.

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Strong suction cups.

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And then you...

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Do these chairs have backs?

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Picturing them with backs.

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It's like an...

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No, it's like...

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Like a stool?

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No, no.

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No, no, no, no.

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No, it's a picture.

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Just try.

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Okay?

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I am trying.

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I'm failing.

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I want you to get all the wrong ideas out of your mind.

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Okay.

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We're starting new.

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All right.

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Little chaise lounge.

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Kind of.

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Yeah.

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This picture in an egg carton.

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You got it?

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Mm-hmm.

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We're going to rip the top off.

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Okay.

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And we're going to angle it slightly so you can reach the front and the back, but not so

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much that the eggs fall out.

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and then there's suction cups

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and they

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hey you know those rides at

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a fair or an amusement park

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that people

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get in and it's like whoa whoa

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what if that

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didn't move because there were suction cups

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so like the big ship

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that goes back and forth and it kind of

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goes like yep but

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there's a suction cup so when it goes all the way

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to the back of the fridge you stick it up

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and then the eggs suspend

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freeing up all that space.

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Yeah, and the reason why they have those rides at amusement parks

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is to free up all the space underneath the ride

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for other people to go.

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Yeah, it's called the line.

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Okay, so you're thinking this will free up about 10 inches.

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Yeah.

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Why don't you just do what most people do

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and just if you need more space, you put things on top of the egg carton.

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You don't have to live like that anymore with my invention.

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00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,460
What about the refrigerators that have built-in egg trays?

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00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:42,820
What?

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Have you not seen that?

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Yeah, I've seen it.

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It's usually on the door.

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Yeah.

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00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:50,740
Well, now you have those eggs.

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That's not enough.

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00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:52,440
That's not enough.

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00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:53,240
That's not enough.

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00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:54,080
We need more eggs.

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00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:57,920
That's true. We do every single day. We prepare like Rocky.

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00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:00,420
I had four eggs just this morning.

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Good protein.

216
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,160
Yeah. And I had them in high fiber tortillas.

217
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,260
Yeah. With Taco Bell fire sauce.

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00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:10,820
And a hash brown mixed in.

219
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,580
Wow. Cheese?

220
00:09:14,340 --> 00:09:15,880
Yeah. American cheese.

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00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:19,040
Your breakfast game is tight.

222
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:20,840
Yeah. I got up early.

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Nice. Good for you.

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00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:28,220
And I wished and prayed when I opened the fridge that there were dangling eggs.

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Ah, why are they dangling?

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00:09:33,060 --> 00:09:35,880
Why aren't they suspended for my easy grab?

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00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:39,100
Okay.

228
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:49,100
I feel like this is the kind of thing that would be at the container store.

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00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,400
Okay, yeah, that makes perfect sense.

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00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:52,680
Yeah.

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00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:53,040
Yeah.

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00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:58,520
I don't know how much, I mean, how much room is it really saving?

233
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,640
We haven't published that study yet.

234
00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:05,740
But it's lots?

235
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,560
Yeah, lots is the scientific term.

236
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:11,520
Lots and more.

237
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:16,700
That's the other store that sells it.

238
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:17,680
Lots and more.

239
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,600
If someone gave it to you, you'd use it, right?

240
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,660
I don't know that I would.

241
00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:25,500
Well, you're an interesting case study because your fridge is so empty.

242
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,220
Yeah, my fridge is pretty empty.

243
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,240
Joe, I need you.

244
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:34,860
I do have a pretty full fridge and I do buy a lot of eggs.

245
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:38,060
Actually, as a matter of fact, I did have four eggs this morning.

246
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:39,680
Wow.

247
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,740
Am I the only one that didn't have four eggs this morning?

248
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,300
I guess so.

249
00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:44,900
God, I feel so left out.

250
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:46,560
I'm going to have to beat you out of the best friends gang.

251
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:47,160
No.

252
00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:48,740
Don't worry.

253
00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:50,480
We'd only do it within an inch of your life.

254
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:51,060
Okay.

255
00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:52,480
Just leave me that inch.

256
00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:59,240
Honestly, I am a little hung up on the fridges that have built-in egg trays

257
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,400
because I was just looking at pictures of it online and they look awesome

258
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,640
and I really want one now.

259
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,640
Did the fridges ever have anything else built in?

260
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:13,880
Francis looks like he's going to either kill you or kill himself.

261
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,960
And not necessarily in that order.

262
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:17,960
Two things can be true at once.

263
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,240
Yes, fridges have a lot of built-in things and that's great.

264
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:25,600
Good for fridges, okay?

265
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,300
Good for fridges.

266
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,240
This you don't understand.

267
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,240
You would have to buy a specific fridge to get a stupid built-in egg carton.

268
00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:36,060
My invention could go in any fridge with a roof.

269
00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:42,280
Well, that's why I'm saying why not just have trays instead of like a hanging thing.

270
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,040
Okay, first of all, you can have a tray and my thing.

271
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,980
Second of all, a tray only holds 12 eggs.

272
00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:50,280
You're buying at least 18.

273
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:52,380
12 isn't enough.

274
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:55,720
If you buy 12 eggs and then you have four for breakfast, that sucks.

275
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:56,500
You're left with eight.

276
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,380
There's only two more days worth of eggs.

277
00:11:59,140 --> 00:11:59,460
Bad.

278
00:12:01,940 --> 00:12:02,380
Yeah.

279
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:03,600
But, okay.

280
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:08,520
But also, fridges need vertical space.

281
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:09,400
They need?

282
00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:10,220
They need vertical.

283
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:11,540
You need vertical space, too.

284
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,700
So if you're hanging it from the top.

285
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,640
Why do they need vertical space?

286
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,160
You're basically just essentially saying,

287
00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:21,420
I'm going to put things under the eggs instead of putting things over the eggs.

288
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:21,620
Yeah.

289
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:28,400
you so you've seen so you see my fridge like where i put the water pitcher is the only place i could

290
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:34,180
hang eggs from but i need that space for the water pitcher which is tall have we thought about getting

291
00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:45,880
a short wide water filter a chode filter check in next week for francis's new invention chode water

292
00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:52,880
Chode water.

293
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:55,360
Yeah.

294
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:55,820
Anyway.

295
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:01,440
Yeah.

296
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:02,080
Okay.

297
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:04,440
Well, I heard your opinion, which sucks.

298
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:08,280
And I see the vision clearly in my mind.

299
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,440
And people will buy it.

300
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,300
Maybe not you guys.

301
00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:15,360
But me guys will.

302
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,820
Well, I'm sure.

303
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:19,220
Yes.

304
00:13:19,220 --> 00:13:21,460
I'm sure there are people that will buy this.

305
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:25,260
whenever I go into the container store

306
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:29,420
I'm overwhelmed by all the different solutions

307
00:13:29,420 --> 00:13:30,640
there are to everything

308
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,300
and it makes me want to be a better person

309
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:34,840
but I'm not

310
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,220
and I never do anything like that

311
00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:40,740
but there are people that go into the container store

312
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,240
buy things and then use them

313
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,840
and I think that could be

314
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:49,360
container store if you want to use that as a little ad

315
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,940
feel free

316
00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:54,740
You know, one time I went in there and they had a clearance section and it had notebooks

317
00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:59,460
and had a really nice notebook that usually retailed for $38, which I was like, I was

318
00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:02,060
paying $38 for a notebook, but it was on clearance for $12.

319
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,140
Loved that notebook.

320
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,080
I go in there sometimes.

321
00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:08,360
It's like a dog who found a waffle in a bush and checks the bush.

322
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:12,780
I always go in and look for more clearance notebooks.

323
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,980
Found a waffle in a bush?

324
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,380
You know, like some dogs could.

325
00:14:18,380 --> 00:14:21,460
like if they're on a walk and they find something in a bush

326
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:23,700
well yeah I just really like that you chose a waffle

327
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,800
a better thing to find in a bush

328
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,980
yeah it would be a great thing to find in a bush

329
00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:33,640
a human that finds a waffle in a bush

330
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:34,680
I'd check that bush

331
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,960
I'd go deep in that bush

332
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,460
every single time I saw it

333
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,440
you're gonna love this

334
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:56,539
I just invented the other day because I was in line and it was a really long line at the bathroom And I thought we should they should do bush toilets And what I mean by that is plant a bunch of

335
00:14:56,539 --> 00:14:58,179
like tall

336
00:14:58,179 --> 00:14:59,719
bushes

337
00:14:59,719 --> 00:15:04,039
and like you go in and turn

338
00:15:04,039 --> 00:15:05,559
and you pee in a hole in the ground.

339
00:15:05,959 --> 00:15:06,959
And there's like 12 of them.

340
00:15:07,499 --> 00:15:08,359
So you gotta wait for a line.

341
00:15:08,359 --> 00:15:10,459
You just go pee in your bush hole.

342
00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:19,259
um does one invention at a time princess well doesn't doesn't uh amsterdam have something like

343
00:15:19,259 --> 00:15:23,939
that where it's just like public toilets for men like where it's like a stall basically like

344
00:15:23,939 --> 00:15:28,379
it's not bushes but you're but it's like basically like

345
00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:36,859
i we have a friend a well-traveled friend that has told me about this he thinks they're awesome

346
00:15:36,859 --> 00:15:40,859
that it's just like, it spots like you just like kind of like,

347
00:15:41,419 --> 00:15:42,699
no, you just like go around.

348
00:15:42,799 --> 00:15:45,339
It's like a little pole and the pole is specifically like,

349
00:15:45,419 --> 00:15:47,019
no, just go behind this pole and you can pee.

350
00:15:48,459 --> 00:15:53,519
Oh, so Amsterdam has built-in egg cartons basically

351
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:54,339
is what you're telling me?

352
00:15:54,799 --> 00:15:56,119
No, they have bush toilets,

353
00:15:56,679 --> 00:15:58,199
but I guess they don't look like bushes.

354
00:15:58,819 --> 00:16:00,319
What you're talking about would make them

355
00:16:00,319 --> 00:16:01,399
more aesthetically pleasing.

356
00:16:01,939 --> 00:16:02,199
Yeah.

357
00:16:02,659 --> 00:16:04,279
So you've zhuzhed it up a bit.

358
00:16:04,279 --> 00:16:04,599
Yeah.

359
00:16:04,599 --> 00:16:07,219
I don't think that that's

360
00:16:07,219 --> 00:16:10,479
that might be what everyone does but I don't think that's an official thing

361
00:16:10,479 --> 00:16:13,779
in Amsterdam because it says that in the Netherlands it's actually

362
00:16:13,779 --> 00:16:17,819
like hard to find a public toilet

363
00:16:17,819 --> 00:16:20,679
just anywhere and like sometimes you even have to pay for them

364
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:26,239
I'm pretty sure it was Amsterdam

365
00:16:26,239 --> 00:16:30,119
Wow America's way better where you have to be a customer to use the toilet

366
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,959
Yeah

367
00:16:31,959 --> 00:16:43,459
um well in any event maybe this person's a liar but um okay good so sub invention of bush toilets

368
00:16:43,459 --> 00:16:53,179
good job you could use it too thank you just stand over the hole yeah um

369
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:56,479
back to oh back to your eggs

370
00:16:56,479 --> 00:17:06,839
uh what are you going to call your egg invention i was thinking egg content

371
00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:16,079
egg content yeah because it also is content which is like the contents of the carton is the egg

372
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,359
but is that like a pun?

373
00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:19,119
Is that like a

374
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,719
egg content?

375
00:17:22,479 --> 00:17:23,879
You sure said it like one.

376
00:17:24,079 --> 00:17:26,459
You said it like you're changing a word.

377
00:17:26,659 --> 00:17:27,679
Yeah, I was trying to.

378
00:17:28,139 --> 00:17:29,899
What if we just call it

379
00:17:29,899 --> 00:17:31,799
sunny side up?

380
00:17:32,979 --> 00:17:34,199
Because the eggs are up.

381
00:17:35,199 --> 00:17:35,639
Okay.

382
00:17:38,679 --> 00:17:39,939
Sunny side up.

383
00:17:39,939 --> 00:17:40,619
That works.

384
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:43,699
How do you like your eggs?

385
00:17:44,859 --> 00:17:45,659
That's the tagline.

386
00:17:45,659 --> 00:17:46,779
I like that a lot.

387
00:17:48,079 --> 00:17:48,299
Yeah.

388
00:17:49,779 --> 00:17:51,459
Where in the world are eggs San Diego?

389
00:17:55,459 --> 00:17:59,419
Where in the world are eggs Seattle?

390
00:17:59,619 --> 00:18:01,819
Because San Diego's south and Seattle's north.

391
00:18:02,579 --> 00:18:04,299
And the eggs are going to be north in your fridge.

392
00:18:05,599 --> 00:18:06,819
That's how that works.

393
00:18:07,239 --> 00:18:07,879
Upward egg.

394
00:18:10,259 --> 00:18:11,199
Fallopian rooftop.

395
00:18:13,799 --> 00:18:14,919
There it is.

396
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,759
not fallopian tube top

397
00:18:17,759 --> 00:18:21,679
I like that too

398
00:18:21,679 --> 00:18:28,679
fallopian tube top

399
00:18:28,679 --> 00:18:31,139
do you think anyone's ever made that tube top

400
00:18:31,139 --> 00:18:31,519
out of

401
00:18:31,519 --> 00:18:33,459
god I hope so

402
00:18:33,459 --> 00:18:34,519
probably

403
00:18:34,519 --> 00:18:36,579
this is America of course someone has

404
00:18:36,579 --> 00:18:37,999
the world's gross

405
00:18:37,999 --> 00:18:41,239
not out of actual fallopian tubes

406
00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:43,279
but just like something that looks like it

407
00:18:43,279 --> 00:18:45,639
neither of us were thinking that

408
00:18:45,639 --> 00:18:51,379
I just wanted to clarify

409
00:18:51,379 --> 00:18:53,319
for the listeners at home too

410
00:18:53,319 --> 00:18:55,479
okay

411
00:18:55,479 --> 00:18:56,899
sunny side up

412
00:18:56,899 --> 00:18:59,339
okay

413
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,359
it's nice right?

414
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:01,679
sunny side up I like it

415
00:19:01,679 --> 00:19:02,799
it's cute

416
00:19:02,799 --> 00:19:05,139
it's real cute

417
00:19:05,139 --> 00:19:08,359
okay

418
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,039
are there any other

419
00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:12,519
things in your

420
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,739
fridge that take up a lot of room?

421
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:15,359
pickles

422
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:21,359
i like the big jars i always want there to be more pickles

423
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:26,299
oh what if you invented something because milk takes up a lot of room too

424
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:35,639
um what if you invented like a a bag that attaches to like the sides of your fridge

425
00:19:35,639 --> 00:19:40,339
like all along the sides of your fridge and then so you when you buy new milk you like pour the

426
00:19:40,339 --> 00:19:47,259
milk into it and and so then it like takes a like it spreads the surface area of the milk all around

427
00:19:47,259 --> 00:19:52,819
their fridge so it keeps it nice and cool and then you just you kind of like milk it when you need

428
00:19:52,819 --> 00:19:59,679
some milk from your thing so a camel milk a cam milk back yeah but it's like it's but then that

429
00:19:59,679 --> 00:20:05,859
would like really you could store a lot of milk in the surface area yeah of the fridge because it

430
00:20:05,859 --> 00:20:09,139
like it wouldn't have to like expand the bag wouldn't have to expand too much because it would

431
00:20:09,139 --> 00:20:13,139
take up so much space all over the

432
00:20:13,139 --> 00:20:17,039
it would cover most of the walls. What if we bred cows

433
00:20:17,039 --> 00:20:19,359
to be small and we just kept one in the kitchen?

434
00:20:21,919 --> 00:20:23,279
Back to the pod.

435
00:20:24,519 --> 00:20:28,939
Oh, you just hit a button. I know. He's hurting us.

436
00:20:30,279 --> 00:20:32,579
Okay, I don't like that you have this control over these buttons.

437
00:20:34,799 --> 00:20:36,419
Okay. Okay. Well.

438
00:20:36,419 --> 00:20:42,479
thanks for being enthusiastic both of you about it and agreeing to invest i can't believe

439
00:20:42,479 --> 00:20:49,419
how easy it's going to be to make eggs and store them oh i'm gonna have so much room underneath

440
00:20:49,419 --> 00:20:54,839
these eggs exactly all the other food in my fridge will want to be directly underneath these eggs

441
00:20:54,839 --> 00:20:59,659
so i could stare up at it yeah you could get in the fridge and look up at it

442
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:02,179
Like a night sky.

443
00:21:03,039 --> 00:21:03,259
Yeah.

444
00:21:05,059 --> 00:21:05,939
Well, great.

445
00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:10,099
The sunny side up is probably going to come preloaded into fridges

446
00:21:10,099 --> 00:21:11,799
from now on.

447
00:21:11,799 --> 00:21:12,599
It's a nice feature.

448
00:21:13,179 --> 00:21:13,579
Maytag?

449
00:21:15,279 --> 00:21:16,119
Call us.

450
00:21:16,759 --> 00:21:17,139
Or email.

451
00:21:17,939 --> 00:21:18,719
I don't answer numbers.

452
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:19,119
I don't know.

453
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,439
Or fax us.

454
00:21:23,099 --> 00:21:23,799
That's fine, too.

455
00:21:24,099 --> 00:21:25,219
Start to leave your voicemail.

456
00:21:25,379 --> 00:21:26,319
It pops up on my phone.

457
00:21:26,379 --> 00:21:26,839
I can read it.

458
00:21:26,939 --> 00:21:28,379
Just say, the first thing you should say is,

459
00:21:28,379 --> 00:21:29,899
I'm with Maytag and then I'll pick up.

460
00:21:30,199 --> 00:21:30,359
Yeah.

461
00:21:30,879 --> 00:21:32,519
It'll like do that live transcript thing.

462
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:32,779
Yeah.

463
00:21:33,139 --> 00:21:34,079
Don't hang up.

464
00:21:34,779 --> 00:21:34,959
Yeah.

465
00:21:34,959 --> 00:21:36,099
Let's get you back in the game.

466
00:21:38,739 --> 00:21:39,179
Thanks.

467
00:21:39,259 --> 00:21:39,699
I feel good.

468
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:45,219
Well, I guess that's another successful invention of the week.

469
00:21:47,059 --> 00:21:50,499
Now, it's time for our next segment.

470
00:21:52,559 --> 00:21:55,019
QV Seeing Red.

471
00:21:58,379 --> 00:22:00,619
I get so mad when I shop.

472
00:22:00,699 --> 00:22:03,379
It's like I'm QVCing red.

473
00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:06,719
Oh.

474
00:22:07,139 --> 00:22:08,099
Great title.

475
00:22:10,419 --> 00:22:13,939
So, in this segment,

476
00:22:14,699 --> 00:22:19,519
we will be telling stories of times that we were wrong.

477
00:22:19,519 --> 00:22:24,519
But at any given time, Joe can press...

478
00:22:24,519 --> 00:22:26,159
I forget which sound effect.

479
00:22:26,219 --> 00:22:27,259
Which one did I say you should use?

480
00:22:27,259 --> 00:22:29,019
Oh yeah, record scratch, yeah.

481
00:22:29,379 --> 00:22:31,579
If you hear that, we hear that noise,

482
00:22:31,819 --> 00:22:36,719
then whoever is talking needs to pivot

483
00:22:36,719 --> 00:22:40,799
to giving a commercial for the thing that annoyed them.

484
00:22:42,399 --> 00:22:45,619
It should be pretty straightforward.

485
00:22:45,979 --> 00:22:46,479
We'll see what happens.

486
00:22:46,479 --> 00:22:46,819
Yeah.

487
00:22:47,999 --> 00:22:51,359
Francis, I think you have more times that you were wronged than me.

488
00:22:51,679 --> 00:22:52,139
Because I was.

489
00:22:52,459 --> 00:22:54,279
I know you were. You really are.

490
00:22:54,379 --> 00:22:55,899
Because I'm so nice and I haven't taken advantage of.

491
00:22:56,399 --> 00:22:56,779
Yes.

492
00:22:56,779 --> 00:22:57,519
Not anymore.

493
00:22:58,739 --> 00:22:59,059
Good.

494
00:23:00,019 --> 00:23:00,959
Tell me about it.

495
00:23:01,039 --> 00:23:01,979
Tell me about one of those times.

496
00:23:01,979 --> 00:23:03,299
I got one right now.

497
00:23:03,579 --> 00:23:04,359
Oh, yeah.

498
00:23:04,639 --> 00:23:05,219
Give it to me.

499
00:23:05,279 --> 00:23:07,379
It's bringing up this boiling rage in me.

500
00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:13,039
Oh, I just saw flames go like on irises of your eyes.

501
00:23:16,099 --> 00:23:16,899
I did.

502
00:23:17,159 --> 00:23:18,379
It was like a cartoon.

503
00:23:18,999 --> 00:23:19,539
Did you know?

504
00:23:19,979 --> 00:23:21,039
Yeah, I did.

505
00:23:21,339 --> 00:23:22,239
How about that?

506
00:23:22,719 --> 00:23:23,759
Okay, great.

507
00:23:25,059 --> 00:23:26,319
Here's what I'm going to say.

508
00:23:26,779 --> 00:23:32,379
I had an uncle who, you know, when I was a kid,

509
00:23:32,459 --> 00:23:34,239
I wanted to be famous so bad.

510
00:23:34,319 --> 00:23:36,179
I wanted to be like a famous singer-actor, right?

511
00:23:38,059 --> 00:23:39,339
And everyone knew this.

512
00:23:39,719 --> 00:23:39,919
Yeah.

513
00:23:40,059 --> 00:23:41,199
And this is not really an uncle.

514
00:23:41,319 --> 00:23:44,059
It's like a cousin's cousin's life partner.

515
00:23:44,999 --> 00:23:45,459
Oh, okay.

516
00:23:45,499 --> 00:23:46,939
One of those nebulous uncles.

517
00:23:47,219 --> 00:23:48,099
Basically a nobody.

518
00:23:48,539 --> 00:23:48,819
Yeah.

519
00:23:49,519 --> 00:23:49,879
Nothing.

520
00:23:51,499 --> 00:23:51,859
Yeah.

521
00:23:51,859 --> 00:23:51,959
Yeah.

522
00:23:53,899 --> 00:23:54,339
Anyway.

523
00:23:56,779 --> 00:23:58,419
He told me, I went over that one time,

524
00:23:58,459 --> 00:24:02,439
and he told me that he was in The Expendables 2.

525
00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:07,619
Welcome.

526
00:24:13,499 --> 00:24:16,419
Have you ever wanted to be in a movie?

527
00:24:18,259 --> 00:24:19,419
Introducing auditions.

528
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,459
Come on down with your whole family

529
00:24:22,459 --> 00:24:24,819
and audition for The Expendables 2.

530
00:24:25,379 --> 00:24:26,579
We've got parts for children.

531
00:24:26,779 --> 00:24:29,079
Adults, elderly people, dogs.

532
00:24:31,899 --> 00:24:34,219
We've got pets for fridges, egg cartons.

533
00:24:36,839 --> 00:24:41,419
Anyway, I soaked it up, I believed.

534
00:24:41,559 --> 00:24:43,419
I was like hanging on every word.

535
00:24:44,219 --> 00:24:44,679
How old were you?

536
00:24:45,459 --> 00:24:46,279
I don't know.

537
00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:48,159
I don't know.

538
00:24:50,699 --> 00:24:53,319
Probably 10.

539
00:24:55,719 --> 00:24:56,199
Yeah.

540
00:24:56,199 --> 00:25:00,039
I don't think that math checks out for when the Expendables 2 came out.

541
00:25:00,039 --> 00:25:01,239
He was lying about everything.

542
00:25:01,779 --> 00:25:03,439
He lied about a movie that didn't exist yet?

543
00:25:03,479 --> 00:25:03,979
I don't know.

544
00:25:04,159 --> 00:25:06,839
He's a liar.

545
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:07,439
Okay.

546
00:25:07,619 --> 00:25:07,959
All right.

547
00:25:08,159 --> 00:25:08,639
I don't know.

548
00:25:09,159 --> 00:25:10,719
That's just what happened.

549
00:25:12,299 --> 00:25:12,699
Okay.

550
00:25:12,819 --> 00:25:13,159
Okay.

551
00:25:13,459 --> 00:25:17,839
And then I found out later and I was so upset that he lied because he said he knew Meryl

552
00:25:17,839 --> 00:25:18,199
Streep.

553
00:25:20,199 --> 00:25:23,339
And I really wanted to know her as well.

554
00:25:26,199 --> 00:25:27,319
Are you alone?

555
00:25:28,719 --> 00:25:31,199
Do you need someone to perform for you?

556
00:25:32,839 --> 00:25:35,679
Introducing the Meryl Streep action figure.

557
00:25:37,179 --> 00:25:41,359
It comes with two identifiable Meryl Streep phrases.

558
00:25:41,499 --> 00:25:42,699
All you have to do is pull the string.

559
00:25:45,039 --> 00:25:45,939
That's all.

560
00:25:48,219 --> 00:25:48,739
Eep.

561
00:25:50,839 --> 00:25:51,959
Thank you, Emily.

562
00:25:51,959 --> 00:26:06,119
we only have 200 by one anyway jenna you have a time you were wronged um i do yeah so um there

563
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:14,859
was one time that i had um like at this cafe i had pre-ordered food like to pick up so i got

564
00:26:14,859 --> 00:26:23,539
and a sandwich and, um, a soda. Like they had like bottles of soda. Right. So, um, I was like

565
00:26:23,539 --> 00:26:27,159
standing in line waiting to like pick up my food. It's already paid for it and everything like that.

566
00:26:27,719 --> 00:26:32,459
Um, and I can see in the little case in the front by where, where the soda is,

567
00:26:32,459 --> 00:26:41,019
they literally have one Coke left. There's one bottle of Coke left. Um, and so I, uh,

568
00:26:41,019 --> 00:26:47,479
get to the, oh no, that's, I wanted a Coke. They didn't have Coke, but then they had

569
00:26:47,479 --> 00:26:52,979
something else. They had a different kind of soda. It was like, there was only one of that left.

570
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:59,199
And so, um, I get to the front of the line finally. And I'm like, Hey, I already paid and

571
00:26:59,199 --> 00:27:05,379
ordered. And I ordered on the app or like on the online, I ordered a Coke, but I could see you don't

572
00:27:05,379 --> 00:27:13,619
have coke but you do have sprite can i take the sprite and then the woman that was in line behind me

573
00:27:13,619 --> 00:27:23,799
runs over the case grabs the sprite and gets back in line and i was like okay like

574
00:27:23,799 --> 00:27:28,439
that's great now i have to get an orange fanta like that's

575
00:27:28,439 --> 00:27:32,219
Hi

576
00:27:32,219 --> 00:27:36,119
You want to spice up your drink game?

577
00:27:36,619 --> 00:27:39,259
Orange Fanta, Orange Fanta, Orange Fanta

578
00:27:39,259 --> 00:27:41,479
Why have a drink that's a normal color

579
00:27:41,479 --> 00:27:44,179
When you can have one that doesn't appear naturally in nature

580
00:27:44,179 --> 00:27:47,259
Orange Fanta, Orange Fanta, Orange Fanta

581
00:27:47,259 --> 00:27:49,859
You're going to feel like the funnest guy at the party

582
00:27:49,859 --> 00:27:53,379
With your Orange Fanta, Orange Fanta, Orange Fanta

583
00:27:57,379 --> 00:27:58,019
Anyway

584
00:27:58,019 --> 00:28:03,639
so it was just like, I couldn't like, it was like shocking. And the guy that she was with,

585
00:28:03,639 --> 00:28:08,839
uh, just kind of like, he like looked at her, like you, like he knew exactly what happened.

586
00:28:08,899 --> 00:28:13,619
He was like, and then she went, but she did this. This was crazy to me. She, she looked at him and

587
00:28:13,619 --> 00:28:18,419
she went, ha ha ha. And like, she like held it and went like, ha ha ha. And I was like,

588
00:28:18,419 --> 00:28:23,759
this is unbelievable. It was like, you know, I can see you, right? Like you, like you're not

589
00:28:23,759 --> 00:28:32,559
invisible you're literally like eight inches from me right now wow i know i was it was just like so

590
00:28:32,559 --> 00:28:38,339
i was like i couldn't believe it and like effectively too she has stolen from me because

591
00:28:38,339 --> 00:28:43,779
i've already paid for that drink she hasn't paid for it yet can i just say yeah jackasses

592
00:28:43,779 --> 00:28:52,159
thank you you're welcome thank you so much yeah yeah anyway so i had to walk out of there with an

593
00:28:52,159 --> 00:28:53,899
Orange Fanta, Orange Fanta.

594
00:28:54,779 --> 00:28:55,759
Those are pretty good.

595
00:28:57,099 --> 00:28:57,339
Yeah.

596
00:28:57,939 --> 00:28:59,299
But I felt bad because it wasn't for me.

597
00:28:59,339 --> 00:29:00,579
I was picking it up for somebody else.

598
00:29:00,579 --> 00:29:04,059
So it was like I had to like, like first choice was gone.

599
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:06,619
Second choice was gone because somebody stole it.

600
00:29:07,339 --> 00:29:10,579
So I had to give the last possible choice.

601
00:29:13,259 --> 00:29:14,759
Last possible choice.

602
00:29:17,039 --> 00:29:21,539
Why start with the best when you can end with the rest?

603
00:29:22,159 --> 00:29:29,199
last possible choice means you'll never be disappointed in life you always take what

604
00:29:29,199 --> 00:29:33,639
nobody else wants it's always going to be there you're never going to be disappointed

605
00:29:33,639 --> 00:29:44,658
by running out of stock of something last possible choice Get it Every day All day Constantly

606
00:29:46,238 --> 00:29:47,898
Anyway, that's...

607
00:29:47,898 --> 00:29:49,198
That's fucked up.

608
00:29:49,458 --> 00:29:50,438
Yeah, it was weird.

609
00:29:50,558 --> 00:29:53,418
It was like jarring to watch that.

610
00:29:53,418 --> 00:29:55,318
Yeah, just to know that people out there like that exist.

611
00:29:55,898 --> 00:29:56,118
Mm-hmm.

612
00:29:57,678 --> 00:29:59,418
Anyway, so what about you?

613
00:30:00,138 --> 00:30:01,738
What about another time you were wrong?

614
00:30:01,998 --> 00:30:02,858
Yeah, I've got one.

615
00:30:04,278 --> 00:30:08,118
One time I was walking my dog

616
00:30:08,118 --> 00:30:12,858
and it was such a nice night in the neighborhood

617
00:30:12,858 --> 00:30:16,258
and I was like far from my house

618
00:30:16,258 --> 00:30:19,738
and while I was walking her,

619
00:30:20,738 --> 00:30:23,138
the button on my pants blew off.

620
00:30:26,398 --> 00:30:28,998
Aren't you tired of your pants staying up?

621
00:30:29,698 --> 00:30:31,918
Why would you want to be like everyone else

622
00:30:31,918 --> 00:30:33,578
walking around clothed?

623
00:30:34,278 --> 00:30:34,778
No.

624
00:30:35,738 --> 00:30:37,918
Introducing the exploding pant button.

625
00:30:38,978 --> 00:30:40,798
Surprise nudity at any function.

626
00:30:42,078 --> 00:30:43,878
Everybody wants you at their party.

627
00:30:44,218 --> 00:30:46,418
You'll be on every guest list known to man.

628
00:30:46,898 --> 00:30:52,058
Show up, have some crudity, and boom, you're in your jingle hoppers.

629
00:30:54,618 --> 00:30:58,198
Also comes with poop.

630
00:31:00,558 --> 00:31:01,158
Anyway.

631
00:31:01,798 --> 00:31:03,678
From crudity to nudity.

632
00:31:04,278 --> 00:31:05,118
Oh, that's good.

633
00:31:05,718 --> 00:31:06,538
That's good.

634
00:31:07,778 --> 00:31:08,678
I'm going to say it now.

635
00:31:09,018 --> 00:31:10,698
From crudity to nudity.

636
00:31:11,738 --> 00:31:12,598
Yeah, that's great.

637
00:31:13,678 --> 00:31:15,398
Anyway, so it was really hard for me

638
00:31:15,398 --> 00:31:18,078
because my dog wasn't a great listener at the time.

639
00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:20,878
And so I was trying to hold my pants up

640
00:31:20,878 --> 00:31:23,498
and walk her at the same time

641
00:31:23,498 --> 00:31:24,978
and my pants kept falling down.

642
00:31:26,038 --> 00:31:30,018
And so, yeah, it was just super stressful.

643
00:31:30,678 --> 00:31:32,938
When you said your dog wasn't a good listener at the time,

644
00:31:32,938 --> 00:31:35,658
I was picturing you trying to tell her,

645
00:31:35,658 --> 00:31:38,038
can you believe this terrible thing happened to me, Summer?

646
00:31:38,618 --> 00:31:40,598
And then she's just like not paying attention.

647
00:31:41,418 --> 00:31:44,338
Like I was picturing you like trying to commiserate with your dog

648
00:31:44,338 --> 00:31:46,918
and she just wasn't paying attention.

649
00:31:47,378 --> 00:31:48,178
Thanks for picturing that.

650
00:31:48,358 --> 00:31:49,838
It was actually my other dog.

651
00:31:50,018 --> 00:31:50,418
Oh, Megan?

652
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:50,858
Yeah.

653
00:31:52,098 --> 00:31:52,918
Rest in peace.

654
00:31:54,738 --> 00:31:56,258
Who's the bad listener after all?

655
00:31:56,698 --> 00:31:57,658
I'm a good listener.

656
00:31:58,338 --> 00:32:01,018
I knew the other dog's name.

657
00:32:01,018 --> 00:32:03,138
you know what really bugs me

658
00:32:03,138 --> 00:32:04,718
my dad will always say things like

659
00:32:04,718 --> 00:32:07,138
the dog and I'm always like

660
00:32:07,138 --> 00:32:08,238
use her fucking name

661
00:32:08,238 --> 00:32:11,398
yeah she has a name use it we picked it out

662
00:32:11,398 --> 00:32:13,038
it's on a tag I paid to have it engraved

663
00:32:13,038 --> 00:32:15,298
and he'll be like

664
00:32:15,298 --> 00:32:17,578
oh don't forget to give the dog her medicine

665
00:32:17,578 --> 00:32:18,318
I'm like

666
00:32:18,318 --> 00:32:21,538
she's more of a person to me than you are

667
00:32:21,538 --> 00:32:25,898
don't you hate people

668
00:32:25,898 --> 00:32:28,198
don't you love dogs

669
00:32:28,198 --> 00:32:29,358
introducing

670
00:32:29,358 --> 00:32:34,358
A new surgery that turns man's best friend into a human being.

671
00:32:34,738 --> 00:32:39,438
You started with a dog, and now you've got Brett.

672
00:32:40,798 --> 00:32:42,678
He's cool. He doesn't speak English.

673
00:32:42,958 --> 00:32:43,938
Sometimes he barks.

674
00:32:44,798 --> 00:32:45,898
He's got floppy ears.

675
00:32:46,478 --> 00:32:49,218
But he's a person, and we did that for you.

676
00:32:49,898 --> 00:32:56,358
Go to our website, humanbeingequalsdog.com.

677
00:32:59,358 --> 00:33:02,698
From cutity to humidity.

678
00:33:08,698 --> 00:33:09,538
Wow.

679
00:33:10,878 --> 00:33:11,978
I'm sorry.

680
00:33:12,358 --> 00:33:13,218
Sorry that happened.

681
00:33:13,798 --> 00:33:14,158
Thanks.

682
00:33:15,018 --> 00:33:17,778
Do you make it back without any incident?

683
00:33:18,098 --> 00:33:18,758
Neighborhood incident?

684
00:33:18,898 --> 00:33:19,718
You didn't flash anybody?

685
00:33:19,718 --> 00:33:30,598
Do you like living in a neighborhood, but you hate not seeing your neighbors' butts?

686
00:33:31,458 --> 00:33:33,898
Flashing. Flashing your neighbors.

687
00:33:34,498 --> 00:33:36,898
It's the new trend that's sweeping the nation.

688
00:33:38,258 --> 00:33:41,838
I used to mind my own business. Then I found flashing.

689
00:33:42,458 --> 00:33:45,998
Now everyone in the neighborhood chases me around. Thanks, Flash.

690
00:33:45,998 --> 00:33:50,398
you're suddenly going to become the most popular guy in the cul-de-sac

691
00:33:50,398 --> 00:33:54,758
that's right everyone will want to invite you over

692
00:33:54,758 --> 00:33:59,478
for exercise from cul-de-sac to mad at zach

693
00:33:59,478 --> 00:34:01,658
flashing

694
00:34:01,658 --> 00:34:11,919
yeah um so this isn't really like i technically wasn't wronged but i hated it

695
00:34:11,919 --> 00:34:21,298
um i was i could see so i was waiting to like get a parking space the other day that was like in

696
00:34:21,298 --> 00:34:25,998
like along along the street and so like i kind of pulled over to the side because i could see someone

697
00:34:25,998 --> 00:34:30,419
waiting to get out like to get out of their space and i wanted to take their space so i kind of like

698
00:34:30,419 --> 00:34:35,378
pulled over to a not parking space a couple cars behind so that i could wait because it was like

699
00:34:35,378 --> 00:34:39,818
they had to wait for traffic to go by so they could pull out and then i was going to pull it

700
00:34:39,818 --> 00:34:43,098
So like they, they got to go out and then traffic kept coming and I was going to wait

701
00:34:43,098 --> 00:34:45,238
for my spot to like pull out.

702
00:34:45,398 --> 00:34:49,878
And then there's like, finally, like, oh, the end of a line, long line of cars that are

703
00:34:49,878 --> 00:34:54,338
all driving by, I'm going to like pull out and get this space now.

704
00:34:54,338 --> 00:34:58,858
And then the last car in line took the space that I was like waiting for like a minute for.

705
00:34:59,138 --> 00:35:02,178
And I technically, he didn't know I was waiting for it, I suppose.

706
00:35:03,298 --> 00:35:04,998
But I was very annoyed.

707
00:35:05,218 --> 00:35:08,058
I felt like I was owed that spot.

708
00:35:08,058 --> 00:35:09,258
so

709
00:35:09,258 --> 00:35:12,738
did he hold up a coke while he was taking your space

710
00:35:12,738 --> 00:35:13,598
yes

711
00:35:13,598 --> 00:35:15,498
he did actually

712
00:35:15,498 --> 00:35:16,098
wow

713
00:35:16,098 --> 00:35:20,518
and then he poured orange Fanta

714
00:35:20,518 --> 00:35:21,518
into my gas tank

715
00:35:21,518 --> 00:35:29,598
Iran got you down

716
00:35:29,598 --> 00:35:32,138
no

717
00:35:32,138 --> 00:35:39,998
all right well damn

718
00:35:39,998 --> 00:35:50,278
i guess that's the end of that commercial yeah um i'm sure i've been wronged a lot more than that

719
00:35:50,278 --> 00:35:55,538
oh you know what really pissed me off one time i'm gonna have to change a couple of details

720
00:35:55,538 --> 00:35:57,178
because I don't want the person to know.

721
00:36:02,778 --> 00:36:04,798
I had a family member visit.

722
00:36:05,518 --> 00:36:08,778
And this was probably in 2016.

723
00:36:09,658 --> 00:36:11,098
They were visiting and staying with us.

724
00:36:11,898 --> 00:36:16,138
And I was making a comment about how I was trying to get promoted

725
00:36:16,138 --> 00:36:17,318
so I could make more money.

726
00:36:18,318 --> 00:36:19,878
And then my family member,

727
00:36:20,338 --> 00:36:21,998
and they were like, you're money hungry.

728
00:36:23,118 --> 00:36:25,298
And I was like, what?

729
00:36:25,538 --> 00:36:29,058
like the rest of your chickens

730
00:36:29,058 --> 00:36:29,838
it's geese

731
00:36:29,838 --> 00:36:32,078
do you

732
00:36:32,078 --> 00:36:33,919
need meat

733
00:36:33,919 --> 00:36:37,178
but

734
00:36:37,178 --> 00:36:39,778
you sworn not to buy it

735
00:36:39,778 --> 00:36:41,278
introducing

736
00:36:41,278 --> 00:36:43,258
neighborhood geese

737
00:36:43,258 --> 00:36:45,838
first you get your cardio

738
00:36:45,838 --> 00:36:47,578
trying to find them

739
00:36:47,578 --> 00:36:50,058
then you work on your empathy

740
00:36:50,058 --> 00:36:51,158
by gaining their trust

741
00:36:51,158 --> 00:36:53,558
then you go what we call psycho

742
00:36:53,558 --> 00:37:02,578
and you choke him out this is more than just meat this is exercise this is psychology

743
00:37:02,578 --> 00:37:11,818
this is a gym where you strangle an animal introducing geese for yous and meese

744
00:37:11,818 --> 00:37:22,838
anyway um i was so mad because this first of all listen to this this person is related to

745
00:37:22,838 --> 00:37:24,058
I'm trying to be so careful here.

746
00:37:25,018 --> 00:37:30,818
Their immediate family member had just like embarked on like a very expensive program

747
00:37:30,818 --> 00:37:34,358
to get into a career where they would make like bucco bucks.

748
00:37:35,038 --> 00:37:40,358
So I'm sitting there like, oh, I can't dream.

749
00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:43,098
You can dream.

750
00:37:44,338 --> 00:37:46,038
I'm a money hungry bitch.

751
00:37:46,038 --> 00:37:47,678
but like

752
00:37:47,678 --> 00:37:49,538
that's

753
00:37:49,538 --> 00:37:51,818
it's not like

754
00:37:51,818 --> 00:37:54,158
I mean you were already working a regular

755
00:37:54,158 --> 00:37:56,338
job it's not like you were working your dream job

756
00:37:56,338 --> 00:37:57,898
and you're like I'm going to leave this

757
00:37:57,898 --> 00:38:00,298
to go make money where it's like

758
00:38:00,298 --> 00:38:02,419
no I'm working a job I don't

759
00:38:02,419 --> 00:38:04,158
like and then I want to get a different job

760
00:38:04,158 --> 00:38:05,238
that I won't like

761
00:38:05,238 --> 00:38:07,658
sorry I need money for steaks

762
00:38:07,658 --> 00:38:09,438
or well I mean

763
00:38:09,438 --> 00:38:12,018
we're neighborhood geese you don't need money for that anymore

764
00:38:12,018 --> 00:38:12,978
those are free

765
00:38:12,978 --> 00:38:15,258
that was an interesting product the company went out of business because

766
00:38:15,258 --> 00:38:16,458
you could just do it.

767
00:38:17,738 --> 00:38:20,078
Yeah, like, don't worry about me, ho.

768
00:38:21,458 --> 00:38:21,738
Yeah.

769
00:38:24,478 --> 00:38:26,318
Introducing, mind your business.

770
00:38:27,419 --> 00:38:29,018
You don't like what people are doing?

771
00:38:29,278 --> 00:38:30,718
Tough ditty, said the kitty.

772
00:38:31,338 --> 00:38:32,618
Don't worry about it.

773
00:38:33,038 --> 00:38:34,858
Ain't got nothing to do with you.

774
00:38:35,718 --> 00:38:37,498
Uh-oh, loud noises coming from next door?

775
00:38:37,638 --> 00:38:38,318
Shut up.

776
00:38:38,758 --> 00:38:39,898
I ain't your house party.

777
00:38:39,898 --> 00:38:46,658
you at the doctor's office and somebody calls someone else's name

778
00:38:46,658 --> 00:38:51,018
don't worry about what they have you'll die in your own time grandma

779
00:38:51,018 --> 00:38:54,419
how about you

780
00:38:54,419 --> 00:39:04,658
yeah um like well i don't i can't now i'm not now i'm having trouble thinking of a specific

781
00:39:04,658 --> 00:39:08,518
example. Well, you started strong. Thank you.

782
00:39:09,678 --> 00:39:11,178
I hate when

783
00:39:11,178 --> 00:39:16,658
I hate when you're, okay, I hate when you're telling a story and people get like carried

784
00:39:16,658 --> 00:39:20,678
away with the semantics and you're just like, where it's like they're correcting you.

785
00:39:20,718 --> 00:39:22,278
I'm like, that's not the point. Leave me alone.

786
00:39:24,838 --> 00:39:25,898
I hate that.

787
00:39:28,018 --> 00:39:32,838
Yeah. How do you feel about it, Francis? When people do that?

788
00:39:34,658 --> 00:39:41,658
you know when you're like you're telling this and they're like like the the ford escape and

789
00:39:41,658 --> 00:39:44,978
someone's like it was an explorer and you're like at that okay it doesn't matter what kind of

790
00:39:44,978 --> 00:39:50,458
okay it doesn't matter not the point that's not the point yeah i don't like people who are

791
00:39:50,458 --> 00:39:56,419
there's a word for them um assholes yeah that's a synonym for the word i was thinking

792
00:39:56,419 --> 00:40:01,558
basically it's like even if you're trying to like talk to someone and you're like trying to

793
00:40:01,558 --> 00:40:05,558
be on their side and you're like oh i know that's so frustrating and they're like well i wouldn't

794
00:40:05,558 --> 00:40:11,578
say it's frustrating it's like i'm already one foot out of this conversation now yeah okay if

795
00:40:11,578 --> 00:40:16,878
you're not frustrated then why are you telling me right if you're if you're neutral about this then

796
00:40:16,878 --> 00:40:21,038
what the fuck is this story and then it happens if it happens one more time i've already made up my

797
00:40:21,038 --> 00:40:25,458
mind that we're not friends anymore yeah yeah like i don't ever want to speak to you again

798
00:40:25,458 --> 00:40:31,078
yeah don't make me frustrated on your behalf and then you go i'm not no i'm not frustrated

799
00:40:31,078 --> 00:40:32,919
Right. Now I'm on the other person's side.

800
00:40:33,338 --> 00:40:33,558
Yeah.

801
00:40:34,118 --> 00:40:35,138
You're wrong.

802
00:40:37,398 --> 00:40:40,518
That's what they heard as I pushed them off a cliff.

803
00:40:43,998 --> 00:40:46,538
Do you need a way to get rid of people?

804
00:40:47,919 --> 00:40:50,018
Are you tired of asking them to leave?

805
00:40:50,898 --> 00:40:51,919
Introducing cliffs.

806
00:40:54,238 --> 00:40:58,278
Cliffs, no witnesses, only a nice breeze on the Riviera

807
00:40:58,278 --> 00:41:01,218
and a faint scream of someone you used to know.

808
00:41:05,178 --> 00:41:08,238
I wasn't frustrated.

809
00:41:09,538 --> 00:41:11,838
And why did you say you were, bitch?

810
00:41:12,919 --> 00:41:13,478
Cliffs.

811
00:41:15,318 --> 00:41:15,878
Oh.

812
00:41:18,458 --> 00:41:22,678
Well, I think we've gotten a lot of grievances aired

813
00:41:22,678 --> 00:41:25,018
and we've sold a lot of really good products, too.

814
00:41:25,018 --> 00:41:31,938
So I think that wraps up QVCing red.

815
00:41:34,298 --> 00:41:35,398
Well, crap.

816
00:41:35,538 --> 00:41:37,818
Turns out I don't look very good in red.

817
00:41:39,878 --> 00:41:40,698
I'm okay.

818
00:41:43,718 --> 00:41:46,358
Well, we should buy some of that stuff.

819
00:41:47,178 --> 00:41:48,098
Just to have.

820
00:41:48,538 --> 00:41:51,419
I'm going to buy some neighborhood geese right after this.

821
00:41:52,358 --> 00:41:54,358
I'm going to buy glyphs.

822
00:41:55,018 --> 00:41:55,578
Cliffs.

823
00:41:57,098 --> 00:41:57,618
Cliffs.

824
00:41:58,578 --> 00:41:59,498
Cool, cool, cool.

825
00:41:59,718 --> 00:42:03,838
I think you started Russian and then just did your own voice after a time.

826
00:42:05,618 --> 00:42:07,118
That reminds me of another grievance I have.

827
00:42:08,398 --> 00:42:10,318
But we'll save it for another day.

828
00:42:12,919 --> 00:42:13,438
Okay.

829
00:42:14,238 --> 00:42:17,318
Well, it's time for...

830
00:42:17,318 --> 00:42:19,218
No, no, that means we're getting close to the end.

831
00:42:19,378 --> 00:42:19,778
I know.

832
00:42:20,018 --> 00:42:21,518
No, I'll drink this NyQuil.

833
00:42:23,118 --> 00:42:24,738
Dude, I want you to do that anyway.

834
00:42:25,018 --> 00:42:25,318
Thanks.

835
00:42:26,218 --> 00:42:27,398
It's time for our next segment.

836
00:42:28,098 --> 00:42:29,138
Our final segment.

837
00:42:30,638 --> 00:42:31,078
The Baku.

838
00:42:31,498 --> 00:42:32,818
The big question.

839
00:42:34,198 --> 00:42:36,658
The question is very big.

840
00:42:37,578 --> 00:42:39,578
I want to call it the big Baku from now on.

841
00:42:40,078 --> 00:42:40,518
Baku.

842
00:42:41,798 --> 00:42:42,318
Baku.

843
00:42:42,698 --> 00:42:43,178
Baku.

844
00:42:43,438 --> 00:42:43,638
Yeah.

845
00:42:43,878 --> 00:42:44,218
Why?

846
00:42:44,658 --> 00:42:45,538
Big question.

847
00:42:45,858 --> 00:42:46,778
Big BQ.

848
00:42:47,419 --> 00:42:47,778
Baku.

849
00:42:47,958 --> 00:42:48,318
Baku.

850
00:42:48,838 --> 00:42:49,158
Yeah.

851
00:42:49,938 --> 00:42:50,638
Oh, okay.

852
00:42:50,758 --> 00:42:51,178
Big question.

853
00:42:51,258 --> 00:42:52,958
You want me to ask you a big question?

854
00:42:53,698 --> 00:42:54,698
We got a big question.

855
00:42:54,698 --> 00:42:56,678
You got a question, ask a question.

856
00:42:56,878 --> 00:42:57,358
I got one.

857
00:42:57,458 --> 00:42:57,878
You got one?

858
00:42:57,998 --> 00:42:58,158
Yeah.

859
00:42:59,038 --> 00:42:59,378
Okay.

860
00:42:59,558 --> 00:43:00,118
I have one.

861
00:43:00,878 --> 00:43:01,298
All right.

862
00:43:01,298 --> 00:43:02,518
I have one for you.

863
00:43:02,978 --> 00:43:03,798
Here it is.

864
00:43:04,078 --> 00:43:04,798
My big question.

865
00:43:04,919 --> 00:43:05,738
Tell it to me.

866
00:43:05,858 --> 00:43:07,238
Ears for your ears.

867
00:43:09,378 --> 00:43:13,498
Remember as I asked you this, God gave you one mouth, but two ears.

868
00:43:13,878 --> 00:43:14,578
So listen.

869
00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:15,078
Okay.

870
00:43:17,658 --> 00:43:20,138
One for each of your dogs that I know their names.

871
00:43:22,538 --> 00:43:23,698
Because I'm a good listener.

872
00:43:23,698 --> 00:43:25,118
it's so good

873
00:43:25,118 --> 00:43:26,878
here it is

874
00:43:26,878 --> 00:43:30,058
has there ever been

875
00:43:30,058 --> 00:43:32,218
something you wanted

876
00:43:32,218 --> 00:43:36,238
and like you really wanted this thing

877
00:43:36,238 --> 00:43:38,718
and then you didn't get it

878
00:43:38,718 --> 00:43:40,138
and then

879
00:43:40,138 --> 00:43:42,618
you later you like really

880
00:43:42,618 --> 00:43:44,758
wish that you had purchased it

881
00:43:44,758 --> 00:43:46,738
or got it or asked for it or whatever

882
00:43:46,738 --> 00:43:49,178
like something you let go

883
00:43:49,178 --> 00:43:50,238
because you were like

884
00:43:50,238 --> 00:43:52,358
or like it just wasn't the right time

885
00:43:52,358 --> 00:43:53,558
yeah

886
00:43:53,558 --> 00:43:56,158
yes

887
00:43:56,158 --> 00:43:58,419
now I'm

888
00:43:58,419 --> 00:44:02,438
orange fanta

889
00:44:02,438 --> 00:44:03,518
coconut sprite

890
00:44:03,518 --> 00:44:06,338
but now I'm having

891
00:44:06,338 --> 00:44:08,518
like I know I've had that feeling before

892
00:44:08,518 --> 00:44:09,578
but now I'm having

893
00:44:09,578 --> 00:44:12,458
a hard time

894
00:44:12,458 --> 00:44:14,038
remembering

895
00:44:14,038 --> 00:44:18,278
something in particular

896
00:44:18,278 --> 00:44:23,698
do you have something like that

897
00:44:23,698 --> 00:44:37,218
yes this is kind of like I know it gonna sound silly but I think it was Encyclopedia Britannica They did their last set of encyclopedias because they were going into publication and everything was going digital

898
00:44:38,057 --> 00:44:42,918
And I really wanted the set, but it was a few hundred dollars.

899
00:44:42,918 --> 00:44:45,977
And so I was like, I don't really want to spend that.

900
00:44:46,998 --> 00:44:50,597
And then obviously they stopped making them.

901
00:44:50,597 --> 00:44:52,137
And even now today, I'm like,

902
00:44:52,198 --> 00:44:56,038
I wish I had the last set of encyclopedias.

903
00:44:58,097 --> 00:45:00,398
And there was, okay, this is kind of embarrassing.

904
00:45:02,377 --> 00:45:04,398
Well, you know how I had my Harry Potter face?

905
00:45:04,918 --> 00:45:05,177
Yeah.

906
00:45:05,637 --> 00:45:10,238
So I was at this bookstore in San Diego.

907
00:45:10,457 --> 00:45:11,778
It was like a magic-themed bookstore.

908
00:45:12,258 --> 00:45:12,617
Nice.

909
00:45:12,817 --> 00:45:13,498
Yeah, it was pretty cool.

910
00:45:14,057 --> 00:45:15,198
And I went to cash out.

911
00:45:15,738 --> 00:45:17,477
And at the register, I guess they had,

912
00:45:17,477 --> 00:45:20,137
one of the people that worked there's parents

913
00:45:20,137 --> 00:45:23,438
was made stuff by hand,

914
00:45:23,498 --> 00:45:28,218
and so they had a whole selection of wooden wands carved

915
00:45:28,218 --> 00:45:29,998
of all different kinds,

916
00:45:30,637 --> 00:45:34,018
and magic talismans, things like that.

917
00:45:34,677 --> 00:45:39,137
And I wanted them both, but I could only afford...

918
00:45:40,038 --> 00:45:42,137
I was not sure I had credit, but...

919
00:45:42,137 --> 00:45:43,337
Right. You were being responsible.

920
00:45:43,337 --> 00:45:47,018
Yeah. I bought the wand, but I always wish I'd got the set.

921
00:45:47,018 --> 00:45:55,657
because it was first of all it was magic themed and second of all it was one of a kind yeah

922
00:45:55,657 --> 00:45:59,218
everything was like made by hand individually so it's like not like i could go find it now

923
00:45:59,218 --> 00:46:05,657
yeah sorry my button flew off in the night

924
00:46:05,657 --> 00:46:10,758
was that a woman's scream

925
00:46:10,758 --> 00:46:21,038
yes it was one of the neighbors who saw you flashing yeah so uh i wish i could remember because i

926
00:46:21,038 --> 00:46:25,718
uh i i that was

927
00:46:25,718 --> 00:46:35,477
definitely something um i know that i have things like that but i just can't remember them i guess

928
00:46:35,477 --> 00:46:40,097
it's a preservation thing for me that I don't think about it too much.

929
00:46:41,038 --> 00:46:45,218
A preservation thing? Like I'm forgetting it. Like I'm forgetting it. Uh, cause if I

930
00:46:45,218 --> 00:46:50,637
remembered, I would still be mad about something. Cause I, I know that feeling exactly where

931
00:46:50,637 --> 00:46:54,377
you're like, nope. My wand and talisman. Yeah. Yep.

932
00:46:56,778 --> 00:46:59,357
Uh, um, what's your talisman?

933
00:46:59,357 --> 00:47:06,637
what about the other way around is there something that you thought you really wanted

934
00:47:06,637 --> 00:47:10,758
and then you were very happy that you didn't end up getting it

935
00:47:10,758 --> 00:47:17,738
or very disappointed that you did like a regretful purchase

936
00:47:17,738 --> 00:47:24,438
yeah you know like how sometimes you have remorse after you buy something

937
00:47:24,438 --> 00:47:26,817
there should be a name for that

938
00:47:26,817 --> 00:47:27,317
no

939
00:47:27,317 --> 00:47:29,357
it's too nebulous

940
00:47:29,357 --> 00:47:31,577
no one will ever come up with the term

941
00:47:31,577 --> 00:47:33,738
it's called bitter talisman

942
00:47:33,738 --> 00:47:37,198
anyway

943
00:47:37,198 --> 00:47:40,957
yes

944
00:47:40,957 --> 00:47:42,418
I bought a lot of shit

945
00:47:42,418 --> 00:47:44,198
later I'm like

946
00:47:44,198 --> 00:47:46,317
why

947
00:47:46,317 --> 00:47:47,377
like let me think

948
00:47:47,377 --> 00:47:49,797
like a lot of it will come to me

949
00:47:49,797 --> 00:47:51,057
I'm sure

950
00:47:51,057 --> 00:47:54,177
like things I just had to have

951
00:47:54,177 --> 00:47:58,657
I bought a car

952
00:47:58,657 --> 00:47:59,637
I was going to say

953
00:47:59,637 --> 00:48:00,337
I feel like

954
00:48:00,337 --> 00:48:03,758
car is going to be the big one

955
00:48:03,758 --> 00:48:06,438
that was a huge one because I wanted it so bad

956
00:48:06,438 --> 00:48:08,637
first of all I bought it on Friday the 13th

957
00:48:10,077 --> 00:48:12,518
which I didn't

958
00:48:12,518 --> 00:48:13,258
give a shit about

959
00:48:13,258 --> 00:48:15,157
but then everything started going

960
00:48:15,157 --> 00:48:18,038
the next day I had a blowout on the freeway

961
00:48:18,038 --> 00:48:20,297
and guess what

962
00:48:20,297 --> 00:48:21,718
starting that year of the car

963
00:48:21,718 --> 00:48:23,877
they didn't put spare tires in the trunk anymore

964
00:48:23,877 --> 00:48:25,418
so you had to call for help.

965
00:48:26,438 --> 00:48:27,218
That happened.

966
00:48:27,418 --> 00:48:28,538
And then my water pump went out.

967
00:48:30,898 --> 00:48:32,518
I was pissed.

968
00:48:32,718 --> 00:48:33,377
Was that your Audi?

969
00:48:33,857 --> 00:48:34,218
Yes.

970
00:48:34,738 --> 00:48:35,738
See, I'm a good listener.

971
00:48:35,918 --> 00:48:36,177
I remember.

972
00:48:37,398 --> 00:48:38,617
Oh yeah, there's your third year.

973
00:48:41,518 --> 00:48:42,297
This is interesting.

974
00:48:42,398 --> 00:48:43,457
You know my favorite saying?

975
00:48:43,718 --> 00:48:45,418
You never know what worse your bad luck saved you from?

976
00:48:45,957 --> 00:48:47,898
So I don't know how that applies to me in this situation,

977
00:48:48,218 --> 00:48:49,998
but I will say that the day I bought that car,

978
00:48:49,998 --> 00:48:51,837
the minute I had signed the paperwork,

979
00:48:51,837 --> 00:48:54,718
a lady and her husband came in looking for the car.

980
00:48:55,518 --> 00:48:57,698
And I was like, in the moment, like, oh, I'm so lucky I got it.

981
00:48:57,738 --> 00:48:59,157
And I'm like, that bitch was lucky.

982
00:48:59,597 --> 00:49:04,157
I just saved her like $1,400 here and my blowout here.

983
00:49:04,637 --> 00:49:06,198
Like she really lucked out.

984
00:49:07,137 --> 00:49:07,317
Yeah.

985
00:49:07,498 --> 00:49:10,038
But at the time you probably were like, ha ha, I got it.

986
00:49:10,038 --> 00:49:11,117
I was the lady with the Coke.

987
00:49:11,277 --> 00:49:11,538
Yeah.

988
00:49:12,258 --> 00:49:13,977
Although, but I got there first, so.

989
00:49:14,418 --> 00:49:14,657
Yeah.

990
00:49:14,777 --> 00:49:15,418
So I mean.

991
00:49:15,837 --> 00:49:18,038
You should find that lady and go hit her with that car.

992
00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:26,377
well i don't have time for that i wouldn't know where to begin mist connections

993
00:49:26,377 --> 00:49:36,558
mist evasions no what oh mist mist connections for like a water installation company

994
00:49:36,558 --> 00:49:43,817
for those like mist connections yeah oh i'd love that so we just invented a water company

995
00:49:43,817 --> 00:49:46,477
that does like patio nozzles

996
00:49:46,477 --> 00:49:50,938
missed me with that gay shit

997
00:49:50,938 --> 00:50:02,938
yeah that's another that's another possible name um yeah indubitably

998
00:50:02,938 --> 00:50:16,738
interesting interesting what's your did you even have one thing no because

999
00:50:16,738 --> 00:50:24,377
put your pen down be in the moment wait what was that joe well i'm afraid you're being a dumb

1000
00:50:24,377 --> 00:50:34,058
bitch yep yeah that's a good sound drop um i put my pen down don't write down this word you need to

1001
00:50:34,058 --> 00:50:45,018
be in the moment i think you need to be here be here now um i feel like there are god i wish i

1002
00:50:45,018 --> 00:50:50,898
could i'm terrible at this this is the problem is you ask me things about my past oh my god i have

1003
00:50:50,898 --> 00:50:58,238
one more okay when i was 16 i bought a shirt that was so stylish and then later i saw pictures and

1004
00:50:58,238 --> 00:51:04,097
it was like a pirate shirt like big flared sleeves and like flared at the bottom i had like lacing

1005
00:51:04,097 --> 00:51:08,857
yeah i feel like the majority of my answers to this question would be things that i bought from

1006
00:51:08,857 --> 00:51:14,218
like h&m when i was 16 that i thought looked really good and then they did not look good

1007
00:51:14,218 --> 00:51:19,998
but at least you put yourself out there yeah i can think of something from when i was a kid

1008
00:51:19,998 --> 00:51:29,058
I guess or like a teen perhaps. Um, I was like, I was working at this like, like kind of like

1009
00:51:29,058 --> 00:51:36,657
craft fair, um, helping this lady out, making these bracelets or whatever. And, um, it was

1010
00:51:36,657 --> 00:51:45,797
boring, but anyway, she gave me cash. Yeah. Yeah. She gave me cash for like the time that I spent.

1011
00:51:45,877 --> 00:51:49,157
And then like, so that I was like walking around the craft fair and I had cash now,

1012
00:51:49,157 --> 00:51:57,777
like suddenly I have money and um I there was this like lotion that smelled like rose and it

1013
00:51:57,777 --> 00:52:02,238
was like smelled really really good to me and I was like oh it's a little expensive but it's like

1014
00:52:02,238 --> 00:52:08,198
it smells so good and then I bought it and then it was like and then one of those things where

1015
00:52:08,198 --> 00:52:12,277
it's like I once I tried to use it I was like this is too much this is overpowering this was

1016
00:52:12,277 --> 00:52:17,877
like a huge waste of money it's like way too much scent it was not like nice and subtle like the

1017
00:52:17,877 --> 00:52:24,617
little bit it's like you can't use this on your body yeah this is overwhelming and i had wasted

1018
00:52:24,617 --> 00:52:31,117
like that then then i thought like that was half my day gone like that was not worth the sitting

1019
00:52:31,117 --> 00:52:39,058
board in the booth and they occasionally making a little like bracelet for that so i definitely

1020
00:52:39,058 --> 00:52:44,898
at almost instant nebulous term for when you are you have remorse when you buy something

1021
00:52:44,898 --> 00:52:46,357
why'd you just say that

1022
00:52:46,357 --> 00:52:49,137
because Joe said there couldn't be a term for that

1023
00:52:49,137 --> 00:52:50,157
yeah he did you're right

1024
00:52:50,157 --> 00:52:53,018
he wouldn't have said your word because that would be fucked up

1025
00:52:53,018 --> 00:52:54,198
okay

1026
00:52:54,198 --> 00:52:57,398
sorry I'm on guard as you know I'm way down

1027
00:52:57,398 --> 00:52:59,258
I say nebulous at least

1028
00:52:59,258 --> 00:53:00,097
five times a day

1029
00:53:00,097 --> 00:53:02,637
yeah I usually say it about six or seven

1030
00:53:02,637 --> 00:53:03,817
eight times a day

1031
00:53:03,817 --> 00:53:06,977
I say like ten so I mean not that it's a competition

1032
00:53:06,977 --> 00:53:07,498
or anything

1033
00:53:07,498 --> 00:53:09,418
yeah but how many eggs do you eat a day

1034
00:53:09,418 --> 00:53:11,218
zero

1035
00:53:11,218 --> 00:53:13,657
I'm afraid you're being a dumb bitch

1036
00:53:13,657 --> 00:53:23,597
yeah thank you for that one example yeah you that's okay you're welcome okay yeah that's stupid

1037
00:53:23,597 --> 00:53:28,758
uh well there's definitely times like i well because i know that feeling i like make it happen

1038
00:53:28,758 --> 00:53:33,238
where i'm like this is gonna be one of those moments if i don't pull the trigger on this i'm

1039
00:53:33,238 --> 00:53:39,938
gonna regret it yeah and so i i try to keep myself out of those situations

1040
00:53:39,938 --> 00:53:44,317
you know what that reminds me of

1041
00:53:44,317 --> 00:53:45,797
one time I was in San Diego

1042
00:53:45,797 --> 00:53:47,357
again a different time

1043
00:53:47,357 --> 00:53:49,758
and I went to this like shop

1044
00:53:49,758 --> 00:53:50,797
different shop

1045
00:53:50,797 --> 00:53:52,498
and I watched

1046
00:53:52,498 --> 00:53:54,698
they like made their own like perfumes and stuff

1047
00:53:54,698 --> 00:53:56,018
and potions or whatever

1048
00:53:56,018 --> 00:53:59,117
and they had one for like Felix Felizes

1049
00:53:59,117 --> 00:53:59,857
for like Harry Potter

1050
00:53:59,857 --> 00:54:01,998
and I was like oh can I

1051
00:54:01,998 --> 00:54:03,817
like try it

1052
00:54:03,817 --> 00:54:05,157
and she was like no

1053
00:54:05,157 --> 00:54:07,457
that's weird

1054
00:54:07,457 --> 00:54:09,457
like sorry we don't allow that

1055
00:54:09,457 --> 00:54:11,377
and then I bought it anyway

1056
00:54:11,377 --> 00:54:13,297
and I was so, later I was like, I should have said

1057
00:54:13,297 --> 00:54:15,117
fuck, excuse me, sorry listeners

1058
00:54:15,117 --> 00:54:17,297
why did I buy it? I should have been like, okay then

1059
00:54:17,297 --> 00:54:17,637
buy

1060
00:54:17,637 --> 00:54:21,438
something scent based and they wouldn't let

1061
00:54:21,438 --> 00:54:22,238
you smell it?

1062
00:54:22,398 --> 00:54:24,977
I could smell it but I couldn't put a little on

1063
00:54:24,977 --> 00:54:26,738
but you know things change on your skin

1064
00:54:26,738 --> 00:54:27,777
yeah, that's weird

1065
00:54:27,777 --> 00:54:31,077
the epidermis is unique to everyone

1066
00:54:31,077 --> 00:54:32,137
yeah

1067
00:54:32,137 --> 00:54:34,038
you ever know what worse Felix Felicis

1068
00:54:34,038 --> 00:54:36,077
your bad Felix Felicis saved you from

1069
00:54:36,077 --> 00:54:39,677
thanks for listening

1070
00:54:39,677 --> 00:54:42,597
that's okay you're welcome

1071
00:54:42,597 --> 00:54:43,837
well

1072
00:54:43,837 --> 00:54:45,957
I think we've answered

1073
00:54:45,957 --> 00:54:47,477
well you've answered

1074
00:54:47,477 --> 00:54:50,477
the big question

1075
00:54:50,477 --> 00:54:51,877
the big question

1076
00:54:51,877 --> 00:54:52,938
merci beaucoup

1077
00:54:52,938 --> 00:54:56,317
well one final

1078
00:54:56,317 --> 00:54:56,977
moment

1079
00:54:56,977 --> 00:54:59,957
I don't want to do this I want to end it

1080
00:54:59,957 --> 00:55:01,898
here I don't know I'm worried

1081
00:55:01,898 --> 00:55:03,957
I'm worried you're going to guess my

1082
00:55:03,957 --> 00:55:05,998
word I don't know I know how you are with your

1083
00:55:05,998 --> 00:55:10,677
stupid decoy words so we'll see it's probably gonna go your way as per usual

1084
00:55:10,677 --> 00:55:15,597
i don't think it is because i don't think i got yours

1085
00:55:15,597 --> 00:55:24,297
just you go first this time and since you're winning okay and keep in mind i don't like to

1086
00:55:24,297 --> 00:55:28,277
Is your word epidermis?

1087
00:55:29,758 --> 00:55:30,157
No.

1088
00:55:31,157 --> 00:55:33,538
Is your word crudité?

1089
00:55:34,438 --> 00:55:35,637
It was nudité.

1090
00:55:35,797 --> 00:55:36,477
No, no.

1091
00:55:37,317 --> 00:55:38,218
I wish it was, though.

1092
00:55:39,117 --> 00:55:39,977
Jingle hoppers.

1093
00:55:41,938 --> 00:55:43,498
I don't even remember saying that.

1094
00:55:43,797 --> 00:55:46,698
You said it, and then your jingle hoppers are out.

1095
00:55:46,698 --> 00:55:49,597
Like, your pants come down and your jingle hoppers are out.

1096
00:55:50,258 --> 00:55:50,817
No.

1097
00:55:50,817 --> 00:55:55,377
Is your word indubitably?

1098
00:55:56,998 --> 00:55:57,758
No.

1099
00:55:58,058 --> 00:55:58,317
Oh.

1100
00:56:00,797 --> 00:56:01,758
All right.

1101
00:56:02,058 --> 00:56:06,117
I have two guesses for your decoy word.

1102
00:56:06,538 --> 00:56:06,857
Okay.

1103
00:56:08,177 --> 00:56:09,817
Is your decoy word scream?

1104
00:56:11,438 --> 00:56:12,198
No.

1105
00:56:13,137 --> 00:56:13,518
Okay.

1106
00:56:15,177 --> 00:56:16,398
Is that a woman's scream?

1107
00:56:16,398 --> 00:56:17,077
I'd be pissed if that was my word.

1108
00:56:17,538 --> 00:56:18,918
I mean, for your sake.

1109
00:56:18,918 --> 00:56:20,498
For your sake.

1110
00:56:20,498 --> 00:56:23,357
Is your decoy word talisman?

1111
00:56:24,238 --> 00:56:25,097
That was my word.

1112
00:56:25,438 --> 00:56:25,797
No!

1113
00:56:29,797 --> 00:56:30,518
Damn it.

1114
00:56:30,718 --> 00:56:33,418
You said it so many times, I thought it was your decoy.

1115
00:56:33,597 --> 00:56:34,738
Here's why I said it so many times.

1116
00:56:34,857 --> 00:56:36,377
The first time I said it, I said talismans,

1117
00:56:36,418 --> 00:56:38,977
and I was like, I got to get it out again.

1118
00:56:39,938 --> 00:56:42,218
And so I didn't know of any other way to do that,

1119
00:56:42,477 --> 00:56:43,498
except to just...

1120
00:56:44,137 --> 00:56:47,977
I'm so relieved.

1121
00:56:47,977 --> 00:56:49,398
I hate that.

1122
00:56:50,498 --> 00:56:54,538
Wait, do you get a point if I guess your word as a decoy word?

1123
00:56:54,797 --> 00:56:55,718
I'm going to say yes.

1124
00:56:55,817 --> 00:56:55,977
Yeah.

1125
00:56:56,797 --> 00:56:57,198
Okay.

1126
00:56:57,797 --> 00:56:58,938
God damn it.

1127
00:56:59,698 --> 00:57:00,438
God damn.

1128
00:57:00,637 --> 00:57:01,117
I needed it.

1129
00:57:01,657 --> 00:57:02,077
I needed it.

1130
00:57:02,077 --> 00:57:03,558
I needed it.

1131
00:57:04,077 --> 00:57:07,198
And I feel fairly confident you're going to guess my word.

1132
00:57:07,337 --> 00:57:08,918
I'm worried one of these is your decoy.

1133
00:57:10,777 --> 00:57:14,018
No, I don't think you clocked my decoy.

1134
00:57:14,297 --> 00:57:15,077
Of course you're going to say that.

1135
00:57:15,218 --> 00:57:15,877
No, I'm serious.

1136
00:57:16,157 --> 00:57:16,797
I don't think you did.

1137
00:57:16,797 --> 00:57:17,157
You want me to stumble into it.

1138
00:57:17,617 --> 00:57:17,957
All right.

1139
00:57:18,097 --> 00:57:19,297
Let's just get this out of the way.

1140
00:57:19,477 --> 00:57:19,797
Okay.

1141
00:57:19,797 --> 00:57:21,797
irises no

1142
00:57:21,797 --> 00:57:26,357
I knew you were going to guess that though

1143
00:57:26,357 --> 00:57:28,317
is it cul-de-sac nope

1144
00:57:28,317 --> 00:57:31,117
I only have one more guess

1145
00:57:31,117 --> 00:57:33,238
semantics

1146
00:57:33,238 --> 00:57:35,518
that's my word

1147
00:57:35,518 --> 00:57:36,377
are you serious

1148
00:57:36,377 --> 00:57:40,317
yes I saw you write it down

1149
00:57:40,317 --> 00:57:41,797
god damn it

1150
00:57:41,797 --> 00:57:42,457
did you do that

1151
00:57:42,457 --> 00:57:43,317
did you

1152
00:57:43,317 --> 00:57:45,258
wait what was your decoy word

1153
00:57:45,258 --> 00:57:46,398
jackasses

1154
00:57:46,398 --> 00:57:48,918
that was your decoy word

1155
00:57:48,918 --> 00:57:55,898
we say that all the time well oh there's no way i was gonna pick up on that i feel like i went out

1156
00:57:55,898 --> 00:58:03,877
of my way to say it um okay so you guys i'm coming back oh that's three points for you

1157
00:58:03,877 --> 00:58:10,117
that might actually put this tied or it might i really thought i thought you were laying the

1158
00:58:10,117 --> 00:58:14,657
tracks for a decoy and i thought you were gonna guess mine i can't believe i you said talisman

1159
00:58:14,657 --> 00:58:18,538
so many times I thought it. That's why I guess it has your decoy. I can't

1160
00:58:18,538 --> 00:58:21,698
believe it. I was worried. God damn it.

1161
00:58:23,837 --> 00:58:26,498
Well, now you

1162
00:58:26,498 --> 00:58:30,637
like this game again, huh? I'm just

1163
00:58:30,637 --> 00:58:33,238
happy to not be totally losing.

1164
00:58:34,297 --> 00:58:38,577
I think we might be tied. No, I'm not sure. Joe, I'd like to thank you for today's

1165
00:58:38,577 --> 00:58:38,877
words.

1166
00:58:38,877 --> 00:58:45,877
well this is frustrating for me

1167
00:58:45,877 --> 00:58:47,698
I don't care for this

1168
00:58:47,698 --> 00:58:50,137
I can't believe I was so close

1169
00:58:50,137 --> 00:58:50,797
you were close

1170
00:58:50,797 --> 00:58:54,857
well good job Francis

1171
00:58:54,857 --> 00:58:57,477
congratulations on your three points

1172
00:58:57,477 --> 00:59:00,097
and maybe I'll see you

1173
00:59:00,097 --> 00:59:01,398
on the cleave

1174
00:59:01,398 --> 00:59:04,018
on the cleave

1175
00:59:04,018 --> 00:59:06,177
bye

1176
00:59:08,877 --> 00:59:09,377
you