1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:21,620
oh my story yes so last night or actually in the early morning hours of this morning

2
00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:27,560
i was thinking about slim fast well i was trying to come up with my own drink i was like oh i want

3
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:33,160
to come up with my own beverage that like hits all my macros like if i could just drink like a

4
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:39,540
like a weight loss jelly but it like made you feel great yeah and that's all i had to eat yeah done

5
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:43,700
yeah you don't think about it you don't have to worry about it right here's my meal here's my

6
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:50,280
soylent green yeah anyway um so i was like oh remember slim fast how great was the original

7
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:57,300
slim fast dutch royale chocolate but then they changed it and they got away from the can and

8
00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:58,560
I put everything in a plastic bottle.

9
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,400
Nobody liked it after that.

10
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:01,580
So I dropped it in an email.

11
00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:02,140
I'll read it to you.

12
00:01:02,260 --> 00:01:02,820
Send it to them.

13
00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:03,300
Okay.

14
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:06,240
Here it is.

15
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,440
I'm an executive at SlimFast.

16
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,560
Let me pull up my laptop, my email for the day.

17
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:16,920
Oh, wait.

18
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,500
Let me take a sip of coffee before I read this next one.

19
00:01:20,420 --> 00:01:22,140
It's an interesting subject line.

20
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:25,120
Francis, V.O.

21
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:31,140
please re-release your chocolate beverage in an aluminum can the people yearn for the can

22
00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:36,360
i'm sorry but those tetra packs are not it and plastic is so not the vibe on top of it

23
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:43,980
your cans were really something special thick ridged substantial think about it i know i have

24
00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:47,960
p.s i have fun ideas for commercials let's get you back in the game

25
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:53,560
oh he likes my cans

26
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,560
I really did have amazing hands.

27
00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:03,800
Somebody get Donald Aluminum on the phone now.

28
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,240
It's ringing, sir.

29
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:07,880
Donald?

30
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:09,840
You're awesome.

31
00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:14,180
You know that new idea you've been looking for?

32
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,580
It's actually an old idea.

33
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:19,800
What?

34
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:31,020
and give me the boys and ad sales this francis guy has going places

35
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:38,780
wow well i can see uh how we all know exactly what was going on in the slim fest slim fast uh

36
00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:45,620
offices this morning yeah just it must have been a mad dash of activity and oh they responded too

37
00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:50,680
oh they did yeah they said we'll get this over to the right team basically is what they said

38
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:55,040
wow yeah so things are happening and i do i have four commercials ready to go

39
00:02:55,560 --> 00:03:03,040
wow yeah oh i can't wait to see them because they're i'm assuming they're yeah it's like

40
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:09,860
commercials like video not yeah not like ad campaigns like print no no no no video okay um

41
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:17,720
i my plan is to become their spokesperson okay because they need a spokesperson like jared fogle

42
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:29,600
i'm thinking more criminally though okay good um yes it was the thing i was a one downside to

43
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:38,420
jared too innocent yeah too too innocent all of the rules um no not like that but like what does

44
00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:46,880
progressive have state farm liberty mutual a well-known spokesperson yeah you know they need

45
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,720
to see me get hot on their product.

46
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:49,360
Yeah.

47
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,800
So that's why I wrote the commercials.

48
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:52,720
Okay.

49
00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:55,580
I think it'll work.

50
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,700
I can't wait to see them.

51
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,100
Fun fact about me, one time I had the same idea with spam.

52
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,080
I was going to be like the spam boy.

53
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,860
And so I bought a bunch of stuff from spam.

54
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,940
Sunglasses, posters, and the meat, of course.

55
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,240
I was so excited.

56
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,560
I'm like, I'm going to lose all this weight on spam.

57
00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:13,820
And I tried it, and I'm like, maybe not.

58
00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:17,520
Wait, you had this whole plan before you had ever tried spam?

59
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:18,220
I never tried it.

60
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:19,520
No, the commercial looked good, though.

61
00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:21,220
Hmm, is this a pork?

62
00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:21,720
Hmm.

63
00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,620
And I'm like, oh, that looks great.

64
00:04:25,060 --> 00:04:25,480
It's...

65
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:25,840
What?

66
00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:28,580
This was all they had during World War II?

67
00:04:29,340 --> 00:04:30,920
Those ungrateful wenches.

68
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:32,260
Lobster in a can.

69
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,960
Is spam particularly good for you?

70
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:40,700
It's a little high in sodium.

71
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,800
But I mean, like, is it...

72
00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:46,440
It's processed meat?

73
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,060
It's a meat, yeah.

74
00:04:47,140 --> 00:04:50,200
So if you're doing a low-carb thing, you want to keep your protein up.

75
00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:51,760
That was my big plan.

76
00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:53,340
And I was like, I have the sunglasses on.

77
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,420
It says Spam on the side.

78
00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:59,600
They're going to take a video of me in a pool on an inflatable flamingo being thin.

79
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:00,360
Yeah.

80
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,860
A flamingo that says Spam on the side.

81
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:02,160
Yeah.

82
00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:03,540
Yeah, once I start selling it.

83
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:05,320
A flamingo made of Spam.

84
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:06,120
Oh, my God.

85
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,980
Why is my tube sinking?

86
00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:10,900
Why am I eating my sinking tube?

87
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:13,480
Yeah.

88
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:18,140
So I hope you loved my hilarious anecdotes about spam.

89
00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:24,240
And I almost forgot the thing that you're the spokesperson for.

90
00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:24,540
Yeah.

91
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:24,800
Yeah.

92
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,000
Oh, no.

93
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,300
The boys in ad sales aren't going to like that.

94
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,540
No, they'll like it once they hear the commercials.

95
00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:31,600
They're really good commercials.

96
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:33,660
So they do.

97
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:35,080
What?

98
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,500
Oh, yours are.

99
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:38,280
I thought you said they don't have any.

100
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,540
They even have like a tick tock with like 10 videos.

101
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:42,560
They're not trying anymore.

102
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:44,940
Let's get you back in the game.

103
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,480
I really think I could do it.

104
00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:49,360
I believe in you.

105
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:50,160
I believe you could.

106
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:50,960
Thanks.

107
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:51,480
Yeah.

108
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:58,560
Welcome to Very Fine Friends, a podcast where friends talk about stuff.

109
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,620
Well, I know how you are, Francis.

110
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:02,800
I mean, you're cooking.

111
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:05,500
Your things are percolating.

112
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:05,920
I'm sipping.

113
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,700
You're going to be the spokesperson for Slim Fast.

114
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:11,380
Yeah.

115
00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:14,440
You're going to be a household name, like Flo.

116
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:15,540
Yeah.

117
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:16,900
And the Lemu Emu.

118
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,680
Lemu Emu!

119
00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:24,940
Yeah, we're going to make these products bestsellers again.

120
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:25,620
Yeah.

121
00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:26,220
Yeah.

122
00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:30,740
It really does seem like the time is right for a SlimFest comeback.

123
00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:32,680
Thank you.

124
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,440
It really does, now that I think about it.

125
00:06:34,580 --> 00:06:36,320
I mean, yeah.

126
00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:39,380
With like Ozempic on the rise and...

127
00:06:39,380 --> 00:06:45,820
you brand it as like a more natural alternative to ozempic one of my commercials actually does

128
00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:54,160
such a thing nice yeah so we agree plus they're fortified vitamins minerals yeah yeah i mean

129
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:59,300
well you're not and that's one of the problems with ozempic that it's like people are talking

130
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:04,900
about it it's like people don't eat so they don't get the nutrients that they need and so like and

131
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:07,500
So they're losing a lot of like bone density and stuff.

132
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,460
It's like not real, like good, healthy weight loss.

133
00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:15,040
So, man, SlimFast, get on this quickly.

134
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:16,580
Thank you.

135
00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:18,400
I can't, I can't.

136
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,660
I'm, well, oh, my phone's ringing.

137
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:22,080
Oh, I'll answer it.

138
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:22,960
Yeah, leave it.

139
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,980
We can, after the pod.

140
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,180
Quick interruption.

141
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:32,760
Every week on the podcast, we do something where our producer, Joe,

142
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:39,180
gives, Francis and I each our own secret word. Throughout the course of the podcast,

143
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:45,200
we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person

144
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:51,360
noticing. If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point. And

145
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:58,540
right before we die, we add up all the points. And then we get a prize, whoever has the most

146
00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:04,200
points for guessing the most secret words. Here's Joe with today's secret words.

147
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:12,660
Jenna's secret word is festivals. Jenna's decoy word is agonized. Francis's secret word is

148
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:24,220
anecdotes. Francis's decoy word is bestseller. Back to the pod. I hate to put this burden on you

149
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:28,420
to further invent things or come up with these brilliant ideas,

150
00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:34,740
but it is that time for the invention of the week.

151
00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:37,980
Inventions.

152
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:45,400
Okay, Francis, dazzle us again with more of your good ideas.

153
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:50,880
Okay, this week, the invention is a can of Slimfast.

154
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:51,240
Ooh.

155
00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:53,820
No.

156
00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:56,320
Get Donald Aluminum on the phone.

157
00:08:57,540 --> 00:08:59,240
His nickname is Dawg.

158
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,320
Okay, so the invention is...

159
00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:06,340
Remember shark toes?

160
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:08,760
Sure, I'm wearing them right now.

161
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,640
That was weird that you're walking around with a mattress shoe, but yeah.

162
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:16,340
Never know when I'm going to need to lie down.

163
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:17,900
I just want to be ready.

164
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,500
I'm tripping over my own shoe and then going to bed.

165
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:23,720
so this is another

166
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,920
bedroom related invention

167
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,620
which I think you're really going to like

168
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:28,220
okay

169
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:33,160
here it is

170
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:33,860
okay

171
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:37,200
you know how

172
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,740
we bathe

173
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:40,180
yes I do know that

174
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,320
you know how

175
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,320
we're lazy

176
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,000
I do know that

177
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,140
you know how we sleep

178
00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:50,280
I do know that

179
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:54,560
my invention is

180
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,660
the love child of a car wash

181
00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:58,260
and a bed

182
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:01,280
and basically how it works is

183
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:02,980
you go to sleep

184
00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:05,760
and then you set

185
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,000
your alarm

186
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,800
and in the morning when your alarm

187
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:10,320
goes off

188
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,480
the bed

189
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,940
moves to one side or the other

190
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:19,520
wherever the car wash

191
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:27,260
section is it moves you into it and it you like slide into the like

192
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:37,300
fiberglass bed you know it deposits you lovingly into a bath yeah okay and it closes a thing that

193
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:46,240
just leaves your um head exposed okay and then it washes you water turns on soap dispensers like

194
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:51,180
you don't do anything you just sit there and it bathes you and then um when you're ready because

195
00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:58,320
you're awake at this point um it opens and you slide in and it does your head

196
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:05,820
okay and so it cleans you and then it air dries you with a with a with a

197
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:13,360
you know just like in a car wash yeah so it washes you dries you and then as it's drying you

198
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,140
your windshield wipers

199
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:17,040
start flapping a little bit.

200
00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:20,380
Does it put like a little

201
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:23,140
scent sticker thing on you

202
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,660
when it's done? A little hanging tree? Yeah.

203
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,040
Is that what they're called? Sure.

204
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,200
I think so. Little trees.

205
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,960
Little trees. Little trees. I regret

206
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,120
what I said before. Anyway

207
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,400
so. Hanging

208
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,880
trees. You know what I meant.

209
00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:37,400
Yeah.

210
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,680
Yeah, that's it.

211
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,260
And then what happens

212
00:11:43,260 --> 00:11:49,760
to the way okay so it's like you slide in so you slide into your used bath water

213
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:56,860
no it's new it new bath water why would you slide it to use bath water once you're done it drains

214
00:11:56,860 --> 00:12:01,780
it away okay but then you're sitting there freezing because it's cold it dries you with

215
00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:06,980
warm air but you haven't done your head yet oh i'm talking about the transition between body and head

216
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:10,020
oh so before your head gets done

217
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:16,620
your body is just washed and it stays wet.

218
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:19,340
Then it opens and you slide in

219
00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:21,040
and your body's still wet

220
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,580
while your head's getting wet and soaked.

221
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:27,540
Yes, but wouldn't you be cold if there's...

222
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:29,300
You're either sitting in the same bath water

223
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,180
just keeping you warm.

224
00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:32,620
It's a tube that you're in

225
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:35,520
so everything stays the right temperature.

226
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:36,980
It's like a humid rainforest in there.

227
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:38,500
Okay.

228
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:43,260
There's proprietary thermoregulating technology involved.

229
00:12:43,260 --> 00:12:43,780
Oh, okay.

230
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:44,560
All right, good.

231
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,240
Yeah, called a hot water tank.

232
00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:51,380
Okay.

233
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,420
Well, it seems like it would be a fun ride,

234
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,740
but let me just iron out some more kinks here.

235
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,860
So for me, the head part of the shower

236
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:06,460
is the main part of the shower.

237
00:13:07,940 --> 00:13:09,800
And I'm going to be honest with you here.

238
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:12,260
in terms of cleaning the body,

239
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:15,420
I really just hit a couple major areas.

240
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:16,240
I don't really like,

241
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,500
there's not like a lot of washing going on.

242
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,060
Yeah, just some key spots.

243
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,500
So I don't know that you'd need that much kind of body.

244
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:32,580
It makes it sound like this is some pretty intense scrubbing going on.

245
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,580
You can set the level of intensity.

246
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:36,160
Okay.

247
00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:39,080
And if you prefer a system that only gives you head,

248
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:40,480
I mean, does your head.

249
00:13:44,220 --> 00:13:45,240
Go on.

250
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:47,660
Oh.

251
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:49,260
I know.

252
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,840
Now suddenly I picture this selling.

253
00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:57,360
Well, I was thinking like, you know, it could go over you like a perm helmet.

254
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:58,240
Okay.

255
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:08,500
And then you just latch onto a snorkel tube for your mouth so you can breathe while it washes your head and hair.

256
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,040
And then it dries you and you can let it go.

257
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,240
Is it compatible with the loose tube system?

258
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:22,740
So if you have both inventions, maybe you could, like while you have the air tube, if you get thirsty for like Coke, you could switch the nozzle.

259
00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:24,820
If you buy both systems now.

260
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:26,600
You act now.

261
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,480
We'll give a substantial discount.

262
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:33,300
Yeah, there's like a little lever that you're breathing air, now you're drinking Coke.

263
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:36,140
and you do have

264
00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:37,960
lever systems

265
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,040
or what was the

266
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,580
valve systems

267
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:44,300
we've already got that proprietary technology

268
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,800
yeah from our food bad success

269
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:46,080
yeah

270
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:49,620
okay

271
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:52,520
how big is this

272
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,360
because people don't have a lot of

273
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,580
spare room in their bedrooms

274
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:57,780
right

275
00:14:57,780 --> 00:15:00,100
this is

276
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,400
if you have a

277
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,120
if you

278
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:09,200
okay

279
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,300
it's

280
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,940
it's part of your

281
00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:15,540
bed so

282
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,780
it's like you're sleeping on

283
00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:20,060
say you have a king okay I do

284
00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:20,880
half of it

285
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:33,129
is for you and your mate so I sleeping on a twin now Okay Well this is mostly for single people who don like getting up to take a shower

286
00:15:35,749 --> 00:15:36,229
Okay.

287
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,449
We like to sleep in.

288
00:15:37,929 --> 00:15:39,429
You know, I'm single.

289
00:15:39,549 --> 00:15:40,229
I like to sleep in.

290
00:15:42,269 --> 00:15:43,629
I like to sleep in too.

291
00:15:44,349 --> 00:15:45,489
But then, okay.

292
00:15:45,889 --> 00:15:46,349
So, okay.

293
00:15:46,429 --> 00:15:47,009
So keep going.

294
00:15:47,149 --> 00:15:48,429
So it takes up half your bed.

295
00:15:48,449 --> 00:15:48,809
Let's just be real.

296
00:15:48,869 --> 00:15:50,009
Not everyone has room for this.

297
00:15:50,289 --> 00:15:51,429
It's not my problem to solve.

298
00:15:52,249 --> 00:15:53,109
The country's architecture.

299
00:15:53,109 --> 00:15:54,149
I didn't say it was.

300
00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:56,169
I just was asking how big it was.

301
00:15:56,949 --> 00:15:58,049
I just want to know.

302
00:15:58,109 --> 00:15:58,769
Big enough.

303
00:15:59,129 --> 00:15:59,389
Okay.

304
00:16:00,269 --> 00:16:00,669
Yeah.

305
00:16:00,749 --> 00:16:03,289
So it's like if you have a queen bed, right?

306
00:16:03,349 --> 00:16:05,849
And you have a mate and you can sleep with your mate.

307
00:16:06,909 --> 00:16:09,649
It's the only one person can use this at a time.

308
00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:12,189
So you're going to have to pick who's sleeping in the car wash zone.

309
00:16:15,829 --> 00:16:16,769
Who needs it more?

310
00:16:17,449 --> 00:16:18,329
Who needs it more?

311
00:16:18,389 --> 00:16:18,509
Yeah.

312
00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:19,369
You can take turns.

313
00:16:19,789 --> 00:16:20,889
You don't have to shower every day anyway.

314
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,269
That's a big shower myth.

315
00:16:23,829 --> 00:16:24,929
I do shower every day.

316
00:16:25,049 --> 00:16:27,069
I don't feel good if I don't shower.

317
00:16:27,269 --> 00:16:30,129
Even if I'm not leaving the house, I still shower.

318
00:16:30,349 --> 00:16:30,569
Yeah.

319
00:16:30,829 --> 00:16:34,709
Me too, except when I'm really depressed and I just stay in my bed and I don't get up.

320
00:16:35,269 --> 00:16:36,409
That's not a good thing.

321
00:16:38,869 --> 00:16:39,949
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

322
00:16:40,909 --> 00:16:44,609
I feel like this would actually be a really pleasant way to wake up.

323
00:16:44,609 --> 00:16:49,949
If you have it at a soft massage level, it could be like you wake up in the morning.

324
00:16:51,029 --> 00:16:51,269
Yeah.

325
00:16:51,269 --> 00:16:53,569
I'm like clean and I'm being gently rubbed awake.

326
00:16:54,509 --> 00:16:55,549
Gently rubbed awake.

327
00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:57,049
Yeah, I like that.

328
00:16:57,429 --> 00:16:58,829
I think a lot of people would enjoy this.

329
00:16:59,729 --> 00:17:06,169
Okay, what about for the people like myself who don't shower immediately when they wake up?

330
00:17:06,309 --> 00:17:08,949
Like I wake up, I go to the gym.

331
00:17:09,889 --> 00:17:11,229
Then I'll come home and shower.

332
00:17:12,129 --> 00:17:16,349
So do I have to like then get into my bed and just like go, okay, bed.

333
00:17:17,129 --> 00:17:18,249
Do your thing.

334
00:17:18,509 --> 00:17:19,449
You can do it manually.

335
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:20,569
Absolutely.

336
00:17:20,569 --> 00:17:22,269
You can get in and be like, wash me now.

337
00:17:23,029 --> 00:17:24,109
Oh, that's the name.

338
00:17:24,329 --> 00:17:25,149
Wash me now?

339
00:17:25,729 --> 00:17:26,169
Yeah.

340
00:17:26,509 --> 00:17:27,569
I mean, it just came up with it.

341
00:17:29,369 --> 00:17:30,949
I was thinking sleep to clean.

342
00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:34,149
Sleep cycle?

343
00:17:34,729 --> 00:17:36,569
I was also thinking sleep cycle.

344
00:17:36,729 --> 00:17:36,849
Okay.

345
00:17:37,149 --> 00:17:38,289
Wait, wash me now.

346
00:17:41,529 --> 00:17:42,289
Oh, okay.

347
00:17:42,289 --> 00:17:43,049
Two peas.

348
00:17:43,689 --> 00:17:44,409
Nice pod, huh?

349
00:17:44,969 --> 00:17:45,449
Sleep.

350
00:17:45,789 --> 00:17:47,009
Two peas on the pod.

351
00:17:47,009 --> 00:17:51,289
to pee or not to pod

352
00:17:51,289 --> 00:17:55,349
I think that's it you guys

353
00:17:55,349 --> 00:17:56,729
wrap it up

354
00:17:56,729 --> 00:17:59,489
thank you for listening to

355
00:17:59,489 --> 00:18:00,789
very fine friends

356
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:01,969
also known as

357
00:18:01,969 --> 00:18:03,929
you were saying

358
00:18:03,929 --> 00:18:07,509
yeah sorry I was too busy writing down your genius ideas

359
00:18:07,509 --> 00:18:08,189
thank you

360
00:18:08,189 --> 00:18:11,709
okay so it can be done manually

361
00:18:11,709 --> 00:18:12,709
what if you

362
00:18:12,709 --> 00:18:15,529
I feel like this is ripe for pranks

363
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:21,949
like setting somebody's alarm so that like it's like 3 30 in the morning and all of a sudden

364
00:18:21,949 --> 00:18:30,089
they're like now they're taking a bath yeah you can only prank someone with it one time though

365
00:18:30,089 --> 00:18:36,809
how come because it's proprietary anti-prank technology i don't know what happened anyway

366
00:18:36,809 --> 00:18:43,709
i'd love if you slept over again tomorrow night um what about people that

367
00:18:43,709 --> 00:18:47,589
is there a way to do this where people don't even have to wake up

368
00:18:49,029 --> 00:18:54,909
like is it gentle enough that people could sleep through it i don't know if there's

369
00:18:56,129 --> 00:19:01,429
something gentle enough in the world that if it started soaking you and rubbing you

370
00:19:01,429 --> 00:19:07,809
you would remain sleeping i feel like i'm the closest person to that because i'm a very deep

371
00:19:07,809 --> 00:19:13,089
sleeper but even me i feel like if someone was like scrubbing me i would be like

372
00:19:13,089 --> 00:19:36,429
okay uh i i worry that this would be a lot of wet in your room um no there's no there's

373
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:38,609
No.

374
00:19:38,869 --> 00:19:39,169
Okay.

375
00:19:39,729 --> 00:19:40,969
No, it's...

376
00:19:40,969 --> 00:19:41,329
No.

377
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:42,129
Okay.

378
00:19:42,289 --> 00:19:44,949
It moves you into a capsule that seals.

379
00:19:45,229 --> 00:19:47,609
And then when it's done, it drains the water out.

380
00:19:48,049 --> 00:19:50,769
And the air dryer gets rid of all the remaining water.

381
00:19:52,789 --> 00:19:53,769
Here's a demonstration.

382
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:54,349
Okay.

383
00:19:59,789 --> 00:20:00,269
Whoa.

384
00:20:00,469 --> 00:20:02,569
There was so much water in this room and now it's all gone.

385
00:20:02,789 --> 00:20:03,389
You get it.

386
00:20:03,529 --> 00:20:03,869
Yeah.

387
00:20:05,949 --> 00:20:06,749
What do you think?

388
00:20:06,889 --> 00:20:07,269
Best seller?

389
00:20:07,809 --> 00:20:16,329
um i think i like the idea of like a human car wash just because i think that'd be fun to try

390
00:20:16,329 --> 00:20:21,809
and i like doing it on a bed because it's fun to have beds moving like i like the idea of beds

391
00:20:21,809 --> 00:20:27,849
being pushed places oh can there be like uh an in like an indoor section where people can watch

392
00:20:27,849 --> 00:20:31,389
you getting washed like when they watch their cars getting washed well it's like a it's like

393
00:20:31,389 --> 00:20:32,669
a Snow White's casket.

394
00:20:33,269 --> 00:20:34,109
It's glass.

395
00:20:34,469 --> 00:20:34,869
Oh, okay.

396
00:20:35,009 --> 00:20:36,009
So you can...

397
00:20:36,009 --> 00:20:36,929
What about people

398
00:20:36,929 --> 00:20:37,829
that are claustrophobic?

399
00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:41,049
They will get their bed wet,

400
00:20:41,129 --> 00:20:42,329
but they can't open the capsule

401
00:20:42,329 --> 00:20:43,509
to get out at any time.

402
00:20:44,229 --> 00:20:45,229
Also, why would you buy it?

403
00:20:46,469 --> 00:20:47,409
This is like those...

404
00:20:47,409 --> 00:20:48,229
Yeah, you idiots.

405
00:20:48,409 --> 00:20:49,029
People who like...

406
00:20:49,029 --> 00:20:49,529
What are you doing?

407
00:20:49,629 --> 00:20:50,529
People post recipes

408
00:20:50,529 --> 00:20:50,889
and they're like,

409
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:52,269
here's my famous bean salad

410
00:20:52,269 --> 00:20:53,089
and someone always comments,

411
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:53,949
what if I don't like beans?

412
00:20:54,009 --> 00:20:55,129
It's like, get the hell out of here.

413
00:20:55,949 --> 00:20:57,109
This isn't for you.

414
00:20:57,349 --> 00:20:57,449
Yeah.

415
00:20:58,729 --> 00:20:59,709
Then shut up.

416
00:21:00,449 --> 00:21:00,909
You idiot.

417
00:21:01,389 --> 00:21:02,069
Yeah.

418
00:21:02,389 --> 00:21:04,409
So we'll put a strong disclaimer on the website.

419
00:21:04,989 --> 00:21:05,269
Okay.

420
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:08,189
If you have claustrophobia, maybe just use a regular shower.

421
00:21:10,309 --> 00:21:10,749
Okay.

422
00:21:11,629 --> 00:21:12,109
Yeah.

423
00:21:14,289 --> 00:21:15,849
It'll say you dumb bitch too.

424
00:21:17,189 --> 00:21:17,629
Okay.

425
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,549
You know what inspired this idea?

426
00:21:20,549 --> 00:21:25,969
I thought, how is it that it's 2025 and we don't have a shower system that washes you in your clothes?

427
00:21:25,969 --> 00:21:32,929
why don't you just put on a dirty outfit get in the shower you get clean and the clothes get clean

428
00:21:32,929 --> 00:21:41,909
and then dries you i i mean i yeah that's a lot of technology that needs to be invented still

429
00:21:41,909 --> 00:21:48,389
maybe one day yeah baby steps baby steps let's start with just washing you in your bed first

430
00:21:48,389 --> 00:21:52,909
this is the kind of thing that i could see being fun as like a ride

431
00:21:52,909 --> 00:21:57,269
like at amusement parks or festivals or something,

432
00:21:57,409 --> 00:22:03,149
just like, hey, let's go get in the bed and wash ourselves.

433
00:22:03,709 --> 00:22:05,409
It just feels more like a ride to me.

434
00:22:05,469 --> 00:22:08,049
I'm picturing it like a bed going through a car wash.

435
00:22:09,769 --> 00:22:10,649
That's fun too.

436
00:22:10,989 --> 00:22:14,229
Are there going to be the fun different colored soaps that squirt on you?

437
00:22:14,389 --> 00:22:15,529
And like a light show?

438
00:22:15,809 --> 00:22:16,609
Yeah, a light show.

439
00:22:16,609 --> 00:22:17,769
And then you're going to hear this.

440
00:22:18,169 --> 00:22:21,669
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

441
00:22:21,669 --> 00:22:29,069
that's roller coaster i was trying to do car wash i messed it up i was gonna say this are there

442
00:22:29,069 --> 00:22:37,349
car washes that make like fun noises there should be wow stay tuned next week yeah inventing a

443
00:22:37,349 --> 00:22:43,609
car wash okay it's a car wash but you take you drive through it into your bed wait

444
00:22:43,609 --> 00:22:48,609
and there's sounds this sounds like a dream i wouldn't know i was i like wouldn't recognize

445
00:22:48,609 --> 00:22:53,049
was a dream okay this is not related to the invention of the week but i had a dream

446
00:22:53,049 --> 00:22:58,889
last night that we were recording this episode but we were in the car that francis you were

447
00:22:58,889 --> 00:23:03,909
driving and joe you were in the back seat with the computer and francis you started and you were

448
00:23:03,909 --> 00:23:13,989
just like welcome and then we were both singing like so that's the opening we never actually said

449
00:23:13,989 --> 00:23:18,589
the name of the podcast it was just us singing back and forth and i was like man i hope like

450
00:23:18,589 --> 00:23:20,829
Like in my head, I was like, we don't have mics right now.

451
00:23:20,869 --> 00:23:25,089
I hope the recording is picking all this up because Joe's really laughing really hard at this.

452
00:23:25,509 --> 00:23:29,009
Yeah, that sounds way better than anything we had planned for today.

453
00:23:29,249 --> 00:23:29,549
Yeah.

454
00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:30,669
We should try that one time.

455
00:23:30,849 --> 00:23:32,629
Just a car recording?

456
00:23:33,549 --> 00:23:33,789
Yeah.

457
00:23:33,989 --> 00:23:34,209
Okay.

458
00:23:35,669 --> 00:23:37,789
And then, yeah, I was like doing backup vocals.

459
00:23:38,729 --> 00:23:39,529
I love that idea.

460
00:23:39,789 --> 00:23:40,069
Okay.

461
00:23:40,209 --> 00:23:41,529
This all feels very fortuitous.

462
00:23:42,069 --> 00:23:43,029
All right, we'll do it.

463
00:23:43,609 --> 00:23:45,989
Oh, and we can do it in a drive-thru in a car wash.

464
00:23:45,989 --> 00:23:47,089
and then

465
00:23:47,089 --> 00:23:50,929
we wouldn't even need ASMR sounds

466
00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:52,649
from Francis that would just be

467
00:23:52,649 --> 00:23:54,989
very fine friends

468
00:23:54,989 --> 00:23:56,009
go to the car wash

469
00:23:56,009 --> 00:23:58,189
I love it I think

470
00:23:58,189 --> 00:24:00,609
this week feels like a turning point for us

471
00:24:00,609 --> 00:24:01,549
finally

472
00:24:01,549 --> 00:24:04,769
finally this thing's gonna be on rails

473
00:24:04,769 --> 00:24:07,109
bum bum bum bum bum

474
00:24:07,109 --> 00:24:09,849
it's a car wash

475
00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:12,709
what's our final verdict on the name

476
00:24:12,709 --> 00:24:13,669
sleep cycle

477
00:24:13,669 --> 00:24:15,949
is that the best one

478
00:24:15,949 --> 00:24:18,929
I feel like we were both thinking of it

479
00:24:18,929 --> 00:24:19,249
yeah

480
00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:22,249
I like that one the best

481
00:24:22,249 --> 00:24:24,609
sleep cycle

482
00:24:24,609 --> 00:24:25,149
okay

483
00:24:25,149 --> 00:24:26,309
night bath

484
00:24:26,309 --> 00:24:30,229
go to veryfinefriends.com

485
00:24:30,229 --> 00:24:31,929
and pick up yours now

486
00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:33,329
we're running a special

487
00:24:33,329 --> 00:24:34,729
if you order it now

488
00:24:34,729 --> 00:24:36,209
you will get

489
00:24:36,209 --> 00:24:37,809
with the set of loose tubes

490
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,069
you get a discount

491
00:24:40,069 --> 00:24:41,669
so

492
00:24:41,669 --> 00:24:42,769
and it's substantial

493
00:24:42,769 --> 00:24:44,549
what if people accidentally

494
00:24:44,549 --> 00:24:49,289
fill up their, they mix up the loose tubes and then you're accidentally washing yourself

495
00:24:49,289 --> 00:24:50,709
with Dr. Pepper or something.

496
00:24:52,049 --> 00:24:54,409
Well, I guess that's just...

497
00:24:54,409 --> 00:24:57,069
We are an LLC, so figure it out.

498
00:24:57,249 --> 00:24:58,269
Don't call us.

499
00:24:59,049 --> 00:25:00,189
Yeah, that's true.

500
00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:02,329
If you did it wrong, I mean, you can't be mad at me.

501
00:25:02,889 --> 00:25:03,689
Yeah, you're an idiot.

502
00:25:05,069 --> 00:25:05,509
Yeah.

503
00:25:06,109 --> 00:25:08,089
How about pull your head out of your ass?

504
00:25:08,089 --> 00:25:08,489
Yeah.

505
00:25:08,909 --> 00:25:12,409
How about test your IQ so we figure out what's wrong with you?

506
00:25:12,949 --> 00:25:16,169
Dr. Pepper's the closest you're going to get to having a doctorate.

507
00:25:17,689 --> 00:25:18,689
You idiots.

508
00:25:18,929 --> 00:25:19,149
Yeah.

509
00:25:20,109 --> 00:25:20,829
Or a doctor.

510
00:25:21,389 --> 00:25:21,669
Yeah.

511
00:25:23,529 --> 00:25:24,569
Doctor period.

512
00:25:29,129 --> 00:25:30,629
Based in Tampa, Florida.

513
00:25:31,409 --> 00:25:34,489
Do you also call Tampa, Florida, Tampon Florida?

514
00:25:34,649 --> 00:25:34,829
Yeah.

515
00:25:35,009 --> 00:25:35,589
Okay, good.

516
00:25:35,829 --> 00:25:36,409
Doesn't everyone?

517
00:25:36,409 --> 00:25:41,949
I know is the answer to that question, and I don't know why.

518
00:25:42,409 --> 00:25:44,829
Well, people who live there are probably sensitive about it.

519
00:25:45,309 --> 00:25:48,129
Well, the people that live there should change the name of the town.

520
00:25:48,469 --> 00:25:49,009
Yeah, Tampa.

521
00:25:49,549 --> 00:25:49,949
Tampa.

522
00:25:50,329 --> 00:25:50,649
Tampa.

523
00:25:51,249 --> 00:25:52,209
You got a Tampa.

524
00:25:52,849 --> 00:25:53,469
Sure, Jan.

525
00:25:53,809 --> 00:25:54,069
Yeah.

526
00:25:54,509 --> 00:25:55,089
Come on.

527
00:25:55,909 --> 00:25:58,289
Tampa, if you're listening, we know you are.

528
00:25:58,309 --> 00:25:58,909
We know you are.

529
00:25:59,069 --> 00:26:00,109
Pull your head out of your vagina.

530
00:26:03,249 --> 00:26:04,949
That should be the slogan for tampons.

531
00:26:05,089 --> 00:26:05,589
Yeah, it should.

532
00:26:05,809 --> 00:26:06,869
We should start our own company.

533
00:26:07,549 --> 00:26:08,129
Oh, okay.

534
00:26:08,129 --> 00:26:08,709
We should find tampons.

535
00:26:08,709 --> 00:26:16,929
we're getting so much done god what a productive day we're clean our flows are stopped

536
00:26:16,929 --> 00:26:22,229
all right um we're getting slim

537
00:26:22,229 --> 00:26:36,269
all right uh well yeah this is gonna be this is gonna be in in homes everywhere i think yeah

538
00:26:36,269 --> 00:26:39,089
I totally agree.

539
00:26:39,409 --> 00:26:40,329
And some condos.

540
00:26:41,669 --> 00:26:44,949
If the HOAs are not being dicks about it.

541
00:26:44,949 --> 00:26:47,429
They can't say shit about what's inside the house.

542
00:26:47,909 --> 00:26:48,689
Are you sure?

543
00:26:48,989 --> 00:26:53,429
It feels like that would be something they would dictate if it's potentially water-based.

544
00:26:53,789 --> 00:26:55,729
Your washer could explode at any time.

545
00:26:56,189 --> 00:26:58,349
They can only give you crap about what's outside.

546
00:26:59,049 --> 00:27:03,289
You know how they're washing machines without agitators in the middle now?

547
00:27:03,749 --> 00:27:04,629
We just got one.

548
00:27:04,629 --> 00:27:06,269
so it's just like a big tub.

549
00:27:06,849 --> 00:27:08,509
Do you think anyone's ever climbed in it

550
00:27:08,509 --> 00:27:11,389
and tried to wash themselves in it?

551
00:27:13,309 --> 00:27:14,509
I know what we're doing later.

552
00:27:15,409 --> 00:27:16,549
And while they were doing it,

553
00:27:16,589 --> 00:27:16,869
they were like,

554
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,989
oh, why can't I do this in my bed?

555
00:27:19,189 --> 00:27:19,409
Yeah.

556
00:27:19,769 --> 00:27:21,209
Totally, it was 5 a.m.

557
00:27:25,429 --> 00:27:26,789
It's clearly going to sell.

558
00:27:27,389 --> 00:27:29,089
So get yours now, folks.

559
00:27:30,709 --> 00:27:31,609
Veryfinefriends.com.

560
00:27:32,249 --> 00:27:33,149
They're flying off.

561
00:27:33,189 --> 00:27:34,529
Oh, I just got an alert.

562
00:27:34,629 --> 00:27:35,469
We only have three left.

563
00:27:35,549 --> 00:27:36,029
Oh my gosh.

564
00:27:36,569 --> 00:27:37,029
Oh no.

565
00:27:37,229 --> 00:27:38,069
I knew it was a great idea.

566
00:27:38,309 --> 00:27:39,129
I love myself.

567
00:27:41,269 --> 00:27:43,669
That wraps up the invention of the week.

568
00:27:44,949 --> 00:27:45,609
Good job.

569
00:27:45,909 --> 00:27:46,289
Thank you.

570
00:27:47,289 --> 00:27:48,729
My brain hurts.

571
00:27:49,569 --> 00:27:50,009
Well, it's done.

572
00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:51,729
You done good, kid.

573
00:27:51,729 --> 00:27:52,949
Thanks, Paul.

574
00:27:53,449 --> 00:27:57,029
It's time to get to our next segment.

575
00:27:59,069 --> 00:28:00,849
Psychic bosom.

576
00:28:01,529 --> 00:28:02,169
Yes.

577
00:28:04,629 --> 00:28:11,029
Coming to theaters this summer, it's Psychic Blizzom.

578
00:28:14,029 --> 00:28:19,749
Okay, Francis, why don't you explain this one?

579
00:28:20,409 --> 00:28:23,169
Psychic Blizzom works like this.

580
00:28:23,949 --> 00:28:28,149
One of us will tell a story of an event or whatever, anything we want.

581
00:28:28,149 --> 00:28:35,329
and we will do this while the other person is constantly interrupting to kind of guess where

582
00:28:35,329 --> 00:28:44,089
things are going okay that's it highly technical hope you got it okay are you gonna tell a story

583
00:28:44,089 --> 00:28:52,709
sure okay i'll tell the story i will begin shortly once the story has come to me and it's on its way

584
00:28:52,709 --> 00:28:55,109
and it's queuing up.

585
00:28:56,309 --> 00:28:59,569
And it's in the little train station that's inside your brain?

586
00:29:00,289 --> 00:29:01,009
I see what you're doing.

587
00:29:01,709 --> 00:29:02,149
Ah.

588
00:29:02,649 --> 00:29:03,409
Here we go.

589
00:29:04,109 --> 00:29:07,769
When I was a kid, my dad used to take me to Rocky Point all the time.

590
00:29:07,949 --> 00:29:09,569
Like we basically lived in Rocky Point.

591
00:29:10,089 --> 00:29:11,609
And my dad sold real estate down there.

592
00:29:12,749 --> 00:29:16,109
And a lot of times we would live in...

593
00:29:16,109 --> 00:29:22,249
Inside the car of the people that would come to see the property that you were selling?

594
00:29:22,709 --> 00:29:23,989
No, we never lived in a car.

595
00:29:24,529 --> 00:29:25,249
Okay, sorry.

596
00:29:25,309 --> 00:29:25,629
It's okay.

597
00:29:25,729 --> 00:29:26,009
Go on.

598
00:29:26,009 --> 00:29:30,709
We lived in homes, like local homes.

599
00:29:30,909 --> 00:29:34,649
Not like beach property, like the middle of Rocky Point homes.

600
00:29:35,669 --> 00:29:39,009
And one time there was a carnival.

601
00:29:39,729 --> 00:29:47,169
And a clown came and he bit your toe off.

602
00:29:49,429 --> 00:29:51,749
No, a clown did not come and bite my toe off.

603
00:29:51,749 --> 00:29:52,269
Oh, I'm so sorry.

604
00:29:52,269 --> 00:29:58,669
it's okay keep going uh anyway it was a little carnival in the middle of town and they had

605
00:29:58,669 --> 00:30:04,289
street corn like real street corn and that was like the first time i tried it it was it was very

606
00:30:04,289 --> 00:30:11,189
good but you were deathly allergic to it and you didn't have an epi pen and so that's why you're

607
00:30:11,189 --> 00:30:17,929
dead now no oh okay i'm sorry i wasn't allergic to it and i didn't die oh sorry it's okay

608
00:30:17,929 --> 00:30:26,069
so i like how annoyed you're getting with me no so this pre-arranged game not annoyed

609
00:30:26,069 --> 00:30:32,689
okay so i'm sorry keep going no it's okay um i don't know if you know this but you you're not

610
00:30:32,689 --> 00:30:38,589
supposed to drink the water down there um i don't know if that's just like we're not supposed to

611
00:30:38,589 --> 00:30:41,909
drink i don't know how this works i just know that you could you can get sick drinking the water

612
00:30:41,909 --> 00:30:43,809
unless it's purified.

613
00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:47,029
So you purified it for the whole town

614
00:30:47,029 --> 00:30:48,749
and then they hailed you as a local hero

615
00:30:48,749 --> 00:30:59,398
and you welcome there ever since And there a statue of you Holding up a small child The Rocky Point Town Square Holding up a small child Smaller than you because you were a child when you were there Yeah

616
00:30:59,638 --> 00:31:03,718
And so that's why the statue is of you as a child, but you're holding a smaller child too.

617
00:31:03,858 --> 00:31:04,078
Yeah.

618
00:31:04,438 --> 00:31:05,758
Is that what happened?

619
00:31:05,858 --> 00:31:06,418
That's it, right?

620
00:31:07,218 --> 00:31:09,418
I don't think that's what happened.

621
00:31:10,218 --> 00:31:10,678
Oh, okay.

622
00:31:10,678 --> 00:31:10,938
Oh, sorry.

623
00:31:11,058 --> 00:31:11,198
Sorry.

624
00:31:11,378 --> 00:31:11,738
Go on.

625
00:31:11,978 --> 00:31:12,178
Okay.

626
00:31:12,258 --> 00:31:16,218
I mean, because there could be a statue of me down there, but I've never seen it, nor was I notified.

627
00:31:17,358 --> 00:31:18,198
There probably is.

628
00:31:18,198 --> 00:31:18,898
There is, yeah.

629
00:31:19,138 --> 00:31:19,438
Yeah.

630
00:31:19,498 --> 00:31:25,598
So one time, we have to go fill up the water, like, at a purification system place.

631
00:31:26,658 --> 00:31:35,918
Instead, you accidentally went to Lake Titicaca and just got that water and drank lake water.

632
00:31:36,038 --> 00:31:36,618
Is that in Mexico?

633
00:31:36,838 --> 00:31:37,718
And you got Giardia.

634
00:31:38,358 --> 00:31:39,558
It's somewhere in South America.

635
00:31:39,758 --> 00:31:40,658
I don't know where it is.

636
00:31:40,838 --> 00:31:41,758
I just like saying it.

637
00:31:41,898 --> 00:31:43,338
It's in South America, I'm pretty sure.

638
00:31:43,418 --> 00:31:44,718
Yeah, pretty sure that's correct.

639
00:31:45,398 --> 00:31:47,038
Pretty Shitty Caca, that's correct?

640
00:31:47,538 --> 00:31:48,858
No, I didn't do that.

641
00:31:48,858 --> 00:31:49,538
Oh, I'm sorry.

642
00:31:49,678 --> 00:31:50,138
No, it's okay.

643
00:31:50,258 --> 00:31:50,878
Easy mistake.

644
00:31:52,438 --> 00:31:55,698
Anyway, I didn't know that you also had to cook with clean water.

645
00:31:56,278 --> 00:31:59,118
So I was like making mac and cheese with regular water.

646
00:31:59,698 --> 00:32:01,018
And my dad walked in and he was like,

647
00:32:01,798 --> 00:32:02,778
What are you doing?

648
00:32:03,458 --> 00:32:04,378
I was like, Chad, what?

649
00:32:04,478 --> 00:32:06,458
He's like, you're supposed to use a bottled water.

650
00:32:07,378 --> 00:32:11,358
And then a lizard came out of your macaroni and cheese

651
00:32:11,358 --> 00:32:14,258
because there was a lizard in the unpurified water.

652
00:32:14,698 --> 00:32:17,178
And the lizard was just sitting there with a little tiny fork.

653
00:32:17,178 --> 00:32:18,618
A little tiny lizard fork.

654
00:32:18,858 --> 00:32:20,518
eaten the mac and cheese?

655
00:32:21,398 --> 00:32:21,738
No.

656
00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:22,698
Oh.

657
00:32:22,898 --> 00:32:23,618
There was no lizard.

658
00:32:23,818 --> 00:32:24,258
I'm sorry.

659
00:32:24,398 --> 00:32:24,658
It's okay.

660
00:32:24,898 --> 00:32:25,378
Sorry, go on.

661
00:32:25,458 --> 00:32:28,398
He also used to let me ride a quad on my own with no helmet.

662
00:32:30,258 --> 00:32:31,938
But by quad, you mean a horse?

663
00:32:36,198 --> 00:32:37,658
Okay, I see why you would think that,

664
00:32:37,698 --> 00:32:39,878
because horses have four legs.

665
00:32:40,378 --> 00:32:42,518
But no, I meant quad.

666
00:32:42,798 --> 00:32:43,558
Sorry, go on.

667
00:32:43,678 --> 00:32:45,218
It's okay, ATV, maybe if that helps.

668
00:32:46,418 --> 00:32:48,838
Anyway, so I would ride on my own all day out in the desert.

669
00:32:48,858 --> 00:32:50,258
and this is really sad.

670
00:32:50,338 --> 00:32:51,618
One time I...

671
00:32:51,618 --> 00:32:54,478
Saw a train being robbed

672
00:32:54,478 --> 00:32:56,618
by some meth dealers

673
00:32:56,618 --> 00:32:58,278
and then they shot you?

674
00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:00,538
Because you saw them?

675
00:33:01,738 --> 00:33:02,218
No.

676
00:33:02,498 --> 00:33:03,558
That was in Breaking Bad.

677
00:33:03,858 --> 00:33:04,398
Oh, sorry.

678
00:33:04,638 --> 00:33:04,978
Go on.

679
00:33:05,038 --> 00:33:05,398
That's okay.

680
00:33:05,978 --> 00:33:06,918
So I...

681
00:33:06,918 --> 00:33:10,258
I flipped over a donut.

682
00:33:11,158 --> 00:33:11,978
And when I say donut,

683
00:33:11,978 --> 00:33:14,018
I mean like a donut in the ground.

684
00:33:14,078 --> 00:33:14,618
You mean like a thing that you eat?

685
00:33:16,938 --> 00:33:17,378
No.

686
00:33:17,638 --> 00:33:18,538
I mean the thing that...

687
00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:18,738
Sorry.

688
00:33:18,858 --> 00:33:22,198
That digs into the ground from constant circles like a donut.

689
00:33:25,138 --> 00:33:25,698
Okay.

690
00:33:27,538 --> 00:33:28,278
Go on.

691
00:33:29,378 --> 00:33:31,778
Anyway, and I didn't see it because there was dust.

692
00:33:32,058 --> 00:33:34,418
And I rode over it and I flipped over.

693
00:33:35,418 --> 00:33:36,998
And I landed on the ground.

694
00:33:37,858 --> 00:33:41,538
But you landed on your feet and you put your arms up like a gymnast.

695
00:33:42,018 --> 00:33:47,438
And then you didn't know it, but there were judges right there that held up signs saying 10, 10, 10, 10.

696
00:33:47,438 --> 00:33:50,518
And then there was one that said 8.3 and you were like, what the hell?

697
00:33:52,258 --> 00:33:53,198
To the 8.3 guy.

698
00:33:53,298 --> 00:33:56,198
And then you later killed that 8.3 guy and his entire family.

699
00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:57,878
Well, they had it coming.

700
00:33:58,338 --> 00:33:58,718
Yes.

701
00:33:58,918 --> 00:34:00,258
No, no, that didn't happen.

702
00:34:00,618 --> 00:34:01,318
Oh, sorry.

703
00:34:01,318 --> 00:34:03,978
Because I fell on my back and I broke my rib.

704
00:34:06,898 --> 00:34:11,718
And by rib, you mean that bone in your chest?

705
00:34:13,818 --> 00:34:14,538
Kind of.

706
00:34:14,838 --> 00:34:15,558
Oh, okay.

707
00:34:15,918 --> 00:34:17,018
Isn't the rib in the chest?

708
00:34:17,018 --> 00:34:25,918
yes yeah go on oh well whatever science is stupid anyway so um anyway so i had to i like

709
00:34:25,918 --> 00:34:30,338
walked my quad because i couldn't ride it anymore because i just was like woozy probably concussed

710
00:34:30,338 --> 00:34:36,418
and i went up and we were leaving that day and i had to go up and be like dad i hurt myself

711
00:34:36,418 --> 00:34:44,578
and he was like and then your dad was selling a house at the time and and he was like hey you

712
00:34:44,578 --> 00:34:50,458
you sir that's looking at this house uh i've gotta take my boy to the hospital so you better

713
00:34:50,458 --> 00:34:55,518
buy this house real quick or your opportunities missed and then the guy was like oh okay okay

714
00:34:55,518 --> 00:34:59,798
and then he wrote you a check for the house immediately and then your dad got the great

715
00:34:59,798 --> 00:35:04,938
idea because it sold so fast to constantly be breaking your ribs right before selling a house

716
00:35:04,938 --> 00:35:10,898
and that's how you became the number one realtors in rocky point i just want to say that out of

717
00:35:10,898 --> 00:35:14,038
everything you've said, this actually is the closest to what could have happened.

718
00:35:15,498 --> 00:35:16,698
That's very Dennis coded.

719
00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,018
But no.

720
00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:20,738
Oh, sorry.

721
00:35:20,738 --> 00:35:23,578
He didn't believe me and thought I was lying to get out of helping pack.

722
00:35:24,018 --> 00:35:25,378
So he made me, and there was no elevator.

723
00:35:25,778 --> 00:35:29,458
So he made me like go up and down and like help bring things to the car.

724
00:35:29,478 --> 00:35:30,658
And I was like, I thought I was going to die.

725
00:35:30,738 --> 00:35:32,698
It was a horrible time.

726
00:35:33,598 --> 00:35:34,878
But then later as an adult,

727
00:35:34,878 --> 00:35:37,718
you realize that that's what taught you discipline and hard work as a child.

728
00:35:37,718 --> 00:35:39,638
And so you thank your dad for that ever since.

729
00:35:40,898 --> 00:35:46,018
And sometimes you wish you could just break your rib again just to get things done?

730
00:35:47,478 --> 00:35:48,698
Just to make him proud?

731
00:35:50,058 --> 00:35:53,718
I have not made that connection yet, so I'm going to have to say no.

732
00:35:54,418 --> 00:35:55,738
Oh, sorry.

733
00:35:55,878 --> 00:35:56,338
Go on.

734
00:35:56,338 --> 00:35:59,518
But on the way home, this is really interesting.

735
00:36:00,518 --> 00:36:06,418
You stopped at a carnival and you bit off a clown's toe?

736
00:36:10,898 --> 00:36:11,378
No.

737
00:36:12,858 --> 00:36:13,578
Oh, sorry.

738
00:36:13,698 --> 00:36:14,058
Go on.

739
00:36:14,298 --> 00:36:14,738
It's okay.

740
00:36:16,918 --> 00:36:21,378
The line to get to the border was very long, and we didn't want to wait in it.

741
00:36:21,878 --> 00:36:23,058
So you lived in Mexico?

742
00:36:24,218 --> 00:36:25,398
You just stayed there?

743
00:36:26,718 --> 00:36:30,598
Until they came out with Dash Pass for crossing the border.

744
00:36:31,538 --> 00:36:31,978
Yeah.

745
00:36:32,478 --> 00:36:35,098
It's a fast pass like you get at Disneyland.

746
00:36:35,198 --> 00:36:36,698
You just have to pay $50 extra.

747
00:36:37,138 --> 00:36:37,598
Is that real?

748
00:36:38,778 --> 00:36:39,218
No.

749
00:36:39,318 --> 00:36:39,458
No.

750
00:36:39,658 --> 00:36:39,858
No.

751
00:36:40,038 --> 00:36:40,238
Okay.

752
00:36:40,238 --> 00:36:47,618
that's a great idea they gotta pitch that um hello mexico if you're listening and we know you are

753
00:36:47,618 --> 00:36:56,418
sorry go on it's okay i was just gonna say that he's bribed a like um uh lady of the night it's

754
00:36:56,418 --> 00:37:00,678
not a bribe that's paying for services but no oh sorry no what's it called i keep wanting to say

755
00:37:00,678 --> 00:37:06,678
armageddon but that's not it um ambulance he bribed an ambulance to like go through town with

756
00:37:06,678 --> 00:37:11,138
the lights on and so we were like following them and then we like cut we're trying to cut into

757
00:37:11,138 --> 00:37:17,738
traffic near the border and there was nobody wanted to listen rightfully so right but then

758
00:37:17,738 --> 00:37:23,578
that same lizard that was eating mac and cheese was there in his little tiny lizard car and he was

759
00:37:23,578 --> 00:37:28,678
he saw you and he remembered how good your mac and cheese was so he was just like francis this way

760
00:37:28,678 --> 00:37:34,378
and then he let you cut in front of him even though the people behind yelled um and they were

761
00:37:34,378 --> 00:37:40,138
really upset uh that he let you cut but he but then the lizards screamed back you have no idea

762
00:37:40,138 --> 00:37:48,498
how good this mac and cheese was you'd let him in too no lizards don't talk oh sorry go on it's okay

763
00:37:48,498 --> 00:37:55,378
and then um this i got out of the car and i was like pre-teen but i was like i'm gonna get out of

764
00:37:55,378 --> 00:37:59,058
the car i was like don't get out of the car like i'm getting out of the car and i stood in front

765
00:37:59,058 --> 00:38:02,738
of this other car and i was like hmm i put my hands up like you stop and i was like and then

766
00:38:02,738 --> 00:38:05,558
all these people got out of the car to like come and like

767
00:38:05,558 --> 00:38:07,618
you know. Give you a hug

768
00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:09,738
and say little boy

769
00:38:09,738 --> 00:38:11,358
we'll fix your rib.

770
00:38:16,038 --> 00:38:17,738
Yeah. That's how

771
00:38:17,738 --> 00:38:19,938
I remember it. Ended with a hug.

772
00:38:20,598 --> 00:38:20,918
Oh.

773
00:38:22,178 --> 00:38:23,678
Good. I knew it. Yeah.

774
00:38:25,198 --> 00:38:27,198
Yeah. I like how they knew my rib was

775
00:38:27,198 --> 00:38:29,618
broken. It's like protruding

776
00:38:29,618 --> 00:38:31,438
through my. Little boy

777
00:38:31,438 --> 00:38:32,918
can we give you a hug near the border?

778
00:38:35,338 --> 00:38:36,198
That sounds

779
00:38:36,198 --> 00:38:38,458
that sounds wrong.

780
00:38:39,418 --> 00:38:40,778
A hug near the border?

781
00:38:41,718 --> 00:38:43,378
Sounds like a euphemism for something.

782
00:38:43,978 --> 00:38:44,458
Yeah.

783
00:38:45,058 --> 00:38:46,838
Anyway, what do you think?

784
00:38:49,218 --> 00:38:51,378
I think that was a good story.

785
00:38:52,378 --> 00:38:53,338
And I think

786
00:38:53,338 --> 00:38:54,858
I had a feeling.

787
00:38:54,858 --> 00:38:57,138
You think that that's the best story that's ever been told

788
00:38:57,138 --> 00:38:59,318
and it should

789
00:38:59,318 --> 00:39:00,438
win a Pulitzer?

790
00:39:01,438 --> 00:39:02,318
Um, no.

791
00:39:02,778 --> 00:39:03,838
Oh, sorry.

792
00:39:03,938 --> 00:39:04,238
Go on.

793
00:39:05,518 --> 00:39:06,278
Uh, I know.

794
00:39:06,318 --> 00:39:07,738
I think that was a good story.

795
00:39:07,738 --> 00:39:12,458
And I kind of had a feeling the whole time that there's no point to being alive and everything

796
00:39:12,458 --> 00:39:13,618
is a cosmic joke.

797
00:39:13,618 --> 00:39:17,138
And one day we're going to wake up in a alien laboratory and they're going to be laughing

798
00:39:17,138 --> 00:39:17,578
and pointing.

799
00:39:18,378 --> 00:39:18,818
Uh, no.

800
00:39:19,618 --> 00:39:20,018
Okay.

801
00:39:21,698 --> 00:39:22,838
Should I go on?

802
00:39:24,078 --> 00:39:24,758
Yes, please.

803
00:39:25,418 --> 00:39:25,658
Yeah.

804
00:39:25,998 --> 00:39:30,038
Um, and I do think we should go to Rocky point and investigate.

805
00:39:30,038 --> 00:39:33,198
because I guarantee you there's a statue of you there.

806
00:39:33,718 --> 00:39:34,258
Holding...

807
00:39:34,258 --> 00:39:35,338
Holding a smaller child.

808
00:39:35,838 --> 00:39:37,778
Also named Francis, but it's not me.

809
00:39:38,238 --> 00:39:39,138
But it's Francis with an E.

810
00:39:39,878 --> 00:39:40,658
So it's a little girl.

811
00:39:40,778 --> 00:39:41,418
Yeah, a little girl.

812
00:39:41,898 --> 00:39:43,838
Who came to Rocky Point by way of Guatemala

813
00:39:43,838 --> 00:39:48,438
and whose parents invented railroad tracks

814
00:39:48,438 --> 00:39:50,658
and somehow they're still alive.

815
00:39:51,838 --> 00:39:52,058
Yep.

816
00:39:52,698 --> 00:39:55,978
No, actually, she came from a small little town

817
00:39:55,978 --> 00:39:58,058
on the border of Bolivia and Peru,

818
00:39:58,058 --> 00:40:01,218
which is where Lake Titicaca is located, in case anyone was wondering.

819
00:40:03,398 --> 00:40:04,898
And they're delicious water.

820
00:40:05,838 --> 00:40:07,178
That anyone can drink.

821
00:40:08,338 --> 00:40:10,558
And it makes creamy mac and cheese.

822
00:40:11,398 --> 00:40:12,318
Approved by lizards.

823
00:40:12,738 --> 00:40:13,298
Yep.

824
00:40:13,918 --> 00:40:19,238
And rumor has it they put one clown toe in each batch of mac and cheese,

825
00:40:19,298 --> 00:40:20,058
and if you find it...

826
00:40:21,358 --> 00:40:25,418
You get the prize.

827
00:40:26,618 --> 00:40:27,178
Yeah.

828
00:40:27,178 --> 00:40:29,178
And the prize is?

829
00:40:29,438 --> 00:40:29,958
Hepatitis B.

830
00:40:31,438 --> 00:40:32,038
Yeah.

831
00:40:32,538 --> 00:40:32,778
Yeah.

832
00:40:33,418 --> 00:40:34,938
Hepatitis C for clown?

833
00:40:35,778 --> 00:40:37,178
No, that's...

834
00:40:37,178 --> 00:40:39,718
We can't just change how disease works.

835
00:40:40,358 --> 00:40:43,018
This is a hepatitis B infection if I ever saw one.

836
00:40:46,478 --> 00:40:51,598
Well, that was a really good story that I knew the whole time exactly where it was going.

837
00:40:52,038 --> 00:40:54,438
Because you read my journal when I was 15?

838
00:40:54,438 --> 00:41:06,878
and in the journal you wrote dear jenna in the future this is for you it's not a true story but

839
00:41:06,878 --> 00:41:17,138
it's it's one it's a tale that will be woven in time xoxo francis p.s hug me near the border

840
00:41:17,138 --> 00:41:23,998
sincerely rib boy and that's why people still call you rib boy to this day

841
00:41:24,438 --> 00:41:28,078
PPS. I'm trying out this new thing with spam.

842
00:41:28,378 --> 00:41:29,238
I hope it goes well.

843
00:41:32,238 --> 00:41:33,878
PPPS. Great cans.

844
00:41:37,098 --> 00:41:39,878
All right. Well, that wraps up.

845
00:41:40,198 --> 00:41:41,378
Very successful.

846
00:41:42,118 --> 00:41:43,518
Psychic bosom.

847
00:41:47,118 --> 00:41:49,758
Things are about to get bosomy.

848
00:41:52,558 --> 00:41:53,198
Okay.

849
00:41:54,438 --> 00:41:58,238
It's time to move on to our final segment.

850
00:41:58,458 --> 00:42:03,478
And Francis, I have just agonized over this.

851
00:42:03,698 --> 00:42:04,098
Oh, good.

852
00:42:05,058 --> 00:42:06,198
I like you and agony.

853
00:42:07,058 --> 00:42:08,998
But I think we got to do it.

854
00:42:09,058 --> 00:42:11,058
We got to do the final segment.

855
00:42:12,098 --> 00:42:13,638
The big question.

856
00:42:14,678 --> 00:42:17,138
The question is very big.

857
00:42:18,038 --> 00:42:23,218
I would like to say I agonized over what the big question would be, but I didn't.

858
00:42:23,298 --> 00:42:24,218
So I hope you did.

859
00:42:24,438 --> 00:42:31,158
nope oh i was like i was just being i was being folksy about whether or not i'd say

860
00:42:31,158 --> 00:42:34,718
that's are we gonna do that big question

861
00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:46,778
anyway i was just just funning just having some fun just goofing just goofing off

862
00:42:46,778 --> 00:42:49,298
My baby's a big goof.

863
00:42:50,178 --> 00:42:51,258
Goof soup.

864
00:42:52,258 --> 00:42:53,598
Okay, I'll ask her.

865
00:42:54,378 --> 00:42:55,258
I'm goofy.

866
00:42:56,118 --> 00:42:56,438
What?

867
00:42:58,238 --> 00:42:59,678
I can ask a question.

868
00:42:59,938 --> 00:43:01,698
Okay, great. That would be great. Thank you.

869
00:43:02,398 --> 00:43:04,298
Okay, here's the question.

870
00:43:04,538 --> 00:43:04,838
Okay.

871
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:09,018
Loading, buffering.

872
00:43:10,818 --> 00:43:11,798
Here it is.

873
00:43:12,798 --> 00:43:14,558
The question is...

874
00:43:14,558 --> 00:43:15,218
Very big.

875
00:43:16,778 --> 00:43:25,378
you know how you know how there's honey i shrunk the kids yeah i do know that if you got shrunk

876
00:43:25,378 --> 00:43:32,138
um what would you like what would you do like if you were in like a shrunken world

877
00:43:32,138 --> 00:43:36,158
i guess you were shrunken in the world if you were shrunken in the world

878
00:43:38,898 --> 00:43:46,658
like like what would your game plan be uh well okay the first thing i'm thinking about

879
00:43:46,658 --> 00:43:51,018
is

880
00:43:51,018 --> 00:43:53,578
transportation would be incredibly difficult.

881
00:43:54,518 --> 00:43:56,858
You'd not be able to cover a lot of ground, right?

882
00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:58,158
So

883
00:43:58,158 --> 00:44:01,158
do I need to

884
00:44:01,158 --> 00:44:03,458
have a way to quickly get

885
00:44:03,458 --> 00:44:05,658
to and fro places?

886
00:44:08,418 --> 00:44:09,618
So we're just talking

887
00:44:09,618 --> 00:44:11,178
strict survival, not like if

888
00:44:11,178 --> 00:44:12,758
what fun things would you do?

889
00:44:13,918 --> 00:44:14,778
Well, this is

890
00:44:14,778 --> 00:44:16,178
your life.

891
00:44:16,178 --> 00:44:17,698
You can give me a little bit of both.

892
00:44:18,278 --> 00:44:18,558
Okay.

893
00:44:19,978 --> 00:44:22,538
What's the point of surviving if you also aren't having fun?

894
00:44:22,598 --> 00:44:23,818
Yeah, survive and thrive.

895
00:44:24,478 --> 00:44:24,838
Okay.

896
00:44:25,698 --> 00:44:27,378
Can I also be 30 and flirty?

897
00:44:28,298 --> 00:44:28,778
Okay.

898
00:44:32,778 --> 00:44:33,258
Okay.

899
00:44:34,478 --> 00:44:34,998
What?

900
00:44:36,698 --> 00:44:45,738
I would find a way to get myself to a mall.

901
00:44:46,178 --> 00:44:47,738
I think.

902
00:44:48,098 --> 00:44:53,198
I'd have to practice being able to jump from, like, one person to the next.

903
00:44:53,458 --> 00:44:55,818
Because I think a mall has a lot of people going a lot of different directions.

904
00:44:55,958 --> 00:44:57,358
Plus, there's a lot of stuff in there.

905
00:44:57,918 --> 00:45:03,578
So it'd be, like, a lot of stuff to do and probably a lot of ways, like, you know, there's food in there and stuff to sustain me.

906
00:45:04,098 --> 00:45:08,578
But I would make sure that I got really good at jumping from one person to another.

907
00:45:08,578 --> 00:45:11,978
So, like, I'd hang on to, like, one person's, like, bag or, like, purse or whatever.

908
00:45:11,978 --> 00:45:14,498
and then as they're walking by

909
00:45:14,498 --> 00:45:15,238
and then it'd be like,

910
00:45:15,958 --> 00:45:18,618
oh, shoot, I need steak and shake.

911
00:45:19,398 --> 00:45:21,278
And then I'd jump to the person that's...

912
00:45:21,278 --> 00:45:23,858
And then I'd jump to the person

913
00:45:23,858 --> 00:45:24,718
that's headed towards the steak.

914
00:45:24,818 --> 00:45:26,098
I feel like that would be a good...

915
00:45:26,098 --> 00:45:28,998
Because you would need to be able...

916
00:45:28,998 --> 00:45:30,778
You need to be able to hitch your giddy up

917
00:45:30,778 --> 00:45:31,878
to a lot of different people.

918
00:45:34,458 --> 00:45:34,898
So.

919
00:45:36,858 --> 00:45:40,098
So that would be my game plan.

920
00:45:40,098 --> 00:46:02,958
And I think also you, for fun, for funsies, I think for fun, I think being able to, if people don't know you're there and then like you hide out and then you can just like listen to people's conversations and stuff and see what they do.

921
00:46:03,078 --> 00:46:07,138
I feel like that would really hurt your ears because the sound waves would be like.

922
00:46:07,138 --> 00:46:09,978
I'm assuming the sound is

923
00:46:09,978 --> 00:46:12,018
close to the same

924
00:46:12,018 --> 00:46:14,358
you could play little mall pranks like you probably turn

925
00:46:14,358 --> 00:46:15,618
lights on and off randomly

926
00:46:15,618 --> 00:46:31,247
and just picturing me on like a giant light switch just come on get down get down yeah um yeah that would be fun make people think they haunted i would probably do that how would you get around the fear

927
00:46:31,247 --> 00:46:37,907
because you're now in a world where a daddy long legs is like now a monster to you

928
00:46:37,907 --> 00:46:38,847
Oh, true.

929
00:46:39,587 --> 00:46:40,907
Here's the thing, though.

930
00:46:41,787 --> 00:46:49,567
When those, when you're right up next to, like, a Daddy Longwigs or something like that,

931
00:46:50,087 --> 00:46:54,247
you just be like, bro, I'm just like you.

932
00:46:54,787 --> 00:46:57,547
We're both, like, being afraid of being squished.

933
00:46:58,347 --> 00:47:00,767
It's like, let's not, what are we fighting each other for?

934
00:47:01,787 --> 00:47:03,147
Fight the big guys.

935
00:47:03,707 --> 00:47:05,667
They're the ones that are after us, right?

936
00:47:05,667 --> 00:47:14,087
And then I would be kind of like a folk leader amongst all creatures and anything squishable.

937
00:47:15,267 --> 00:47:19,387
I won't tell them that in my big size I would squish them.

938
00:47:20,047 --> 00:47:21,707
Actually, I don't really squish spiders.

939
00:47:23,147 --> 00:47:24,127
I like spiders.

940
00:47:24,327 --> 00:47:24,707
Yeah, me too.

941
00:47:25,947 --> 00:47:29,287
They kill other things that I don't like.

942
00:47:29,287 --> 00:47:30,047
But here's my thing.

943
00:47:30,247 --> 00:47:33,927
You might be saying all this, but they don't really speak English.

944
00:47:33,927 --> 00:47:36,787
So I would think what you could do.

945
00:47:36,947 --> 00:47:38,547
I'm very expressive, though.

946
00:47:38,687 --> 00:47:39,567
Oh, so you're a little.

947
00:47:39,727 --> 00:47:40,127
Yeah.

948
00:47:40,367 --> 00:47:41,287
So they'll be able.

949
00:47:41,727 --> 00:47:43,787
So I'll speak English.

950
00:47:44,147 --> 00:47:45,687
Eventually, they'll learn their language.

951
00:47:45,907 --> 00:47:46,747
They probably do speak it.

952
00:47:46,787 --> 00:47:47,667
We just can't hear it.

953
00:47:47,827 --> 00:47:48,327
Oh, yeah.

954
00:47:48,347 --> 00:47:49,267
Because that's a good point.

955
00:47:49,667 --> 00:47:49,787
Yeah.

956
00:47:49,787 --> 00:47:51,387
They listen to us yap all the time.

957
00:47:51,447 --> 00:47:53,427
There's no way they didn't pick up a little English here and there.

958
00:47:53,627 --> 00:47:53,767
Yeah.

959
00:47:54,387 --> 00:47:55,787
They teach it in spider school.

960
00:47:56,927 --> 00:47:58,027
It's an elective.

961
00:47:58,327 --> 00:47:58,427
But.

962
00:47:58,907 --> 00:48:00,087
Only in the private ones, though.

963
00:48:00,367 --> 00:48:00,627
Yeah.

964
00:48:00,787 --> 00:48:02,047
Well, spiders are notoriously rich.

965
00:48:03,347 --> 00:48:03,587
Yeah.

966
00:48:03,587 --> 00:48:04,427
With eyes.

967
00:48:05,087 --> 00:48:08,367
And spider public education funding is awful.

968
00:48:09,347 --> 00:48:11,187
That's why they don't teach a second language.

969
00:48:11,607 --> 00:48:12,367
Spider public school.

970
00:48:12,387 --> 00:48:12,887
They don't need it.

971
00:48:13,387 --> 00:48:14,267
They work.

972
00:48:15,047 --> 00:48:16,687
They're learning trades.

973
00:48:17,907 --> 00:48:18,987
Spider trades.

974
00:48:20,867 --> 00:48:23,047
Web building, etc.

975
00:48:23,647 --> 00:48:27,207
Can you imagine diving into a cake?

976
00:48:28,427 --> 00:48:32,267
It's like you can swim and eat.

977
00:48:32,267 --> 00:48:33,967
what if you drown

978
00:48:33,967 --> 00:48:34,987
in the cake?

979
00:48:35,127 --> 00:48:35,467
yeah

980
00:48:35,467 --> 00:48:36,767
tempt me with a good time

981
00:48:36,767 --> 00:48:38,007
yeah

982
00:48:38,007 --> 00:48:39,387
what if you get stuck?

983
00:48:39,767 --> 00:48:40,427
stuck in the cake?

984
00:48:40,627 --> 00:48:40,887
yeah

985
00:48:40,887 --> 00:48:44,007
you get stuck in the frosting?

986
00:48:44,907 --> 00:48:45,607
just keep eating

987
00:48:45,607 --> 00:48:46,607
um

988
00:48:46,607 --> 00:48:49,147
you'd be the world's

989
00:48:49,147 --> 00:48:50,007
tiniest

990
00:48:50,007 --> 00:48:52,947
stripper that comes out of a cake

991
00:48:52,947 --> 00:48:53,867
oh

992
00:48:53,867 --> 00:48:55,667
it's me

993
00:48:55,667 --> 00:48:56,787
and then you're like eating

994
00:48:56,787 --> 00:49:00,987
who wants to hug me

995
00:49:00,987 --> 00:49:01,907
near the border?

996
00:49:02,267 --> 00:49:04,927
I'd hold on to someone's tooth.

997
00:49:05,707 --> 00:49:08,267
Because you can, no matter what you do, you cannot go into the stomach.

998
00:49:08,887 --> 00:49:09,487
You will be...

999
00:49:09,487 --> 00:49:11,467
Oh, yeah, that's instant death.

1000
00:49:11,467 --> 00:49:12,367
Yeah, that's acid fat.

1001
00:49:12,687 --> 00:49:12,827
Yeah.

1002
00:49:12,847 --> 00:49:16,007
So you gotta, like, hold on to the uvula or something.

1003
00:49:17,067 --> 00:49:17,467
Yeah.

1004
00:49:19,347 --> 00:49:20,887
You're just clinging to that thing.

1005
00:49:20,887 --> 00:49:21,547
Ha!

1006
00:49:22,267 --> 00:49:22,667
Ha!

1007
00:49:22,667 --> 00:49:22,947
Ha!

1008
00:49:22,947 --> 00:49:23,267
Ha!

1009
00:49:23,267 --> 00:49:23,447
Ha!

1010
00:49:23,447 --> 00:49:23,947
Ha!

1011
00:49:23,947 --> 00:49:24,447
Ha!

1012
00:49:24,447 --> 00:49:24,487
Ha!

1013
00:49:24,487 --> 00:49:24,527
Ha!

1014
00:49:24,527 --> 00:49:24,607
Ha!

1015
00:49:24,607 --> 00:49:25,107
Ha!

1016
00:49:25,107 --> 00:49:25,607
Ha!

1017
00:49:25,607 --> 00:49:26,107
Ha!

1018
00:49:26,107 --> 00:49:26,207
Ha!

1019
00:49:26,207 --> 00:49:26,527
Ha!

1020
00:49:26,527 --> 00:49:26,607
Ha!

1021
00:49:26,607 --> 00:49:26,707
Ha!

1022
00:49:26,707 --> 00:49:28,607
Ha!

1023
00:49:28,607 --> 00:49:28,707
Ha!

1024
00:49:28,707 --> 00:49:28,727
Ha!

1025
00:49:28,727 --> 00:49:29,207
Ha!

1026
00:49:29,207 --> 00:49:29,707
Ha!

1027
00:49:29,707 --> 00:49:30,207
Ha!

1028
00:49:30,207 --> 00:49:30,227
Ha!

1029
00:49:30,227 --> 00:49:30,307
Ha!

1030
00:49:30,307 --> 00:49:30,807
Ha!

1031
00:49:30,807 --> 00:49:30,827
Ha!

1032
00:49:30,827 --> 00:49:32,247
Ha!

1033
00:49:32,247 --> 00:49:32,767
Okay.

1034
00:49:33,147 --> 00:49:34,247
What would you do?

1035
00:49:35,807 --> 00:49:38,827
I feel like I would immediately be thrust into a world of fear.

1036
00:49:39,367 --> 00:49:41,127
And I need to know I can survive.

1037
00:49:41,287 --> 00:49:43,827
So I would get...

1038
00:49:44,747 --> 00:49:45,827
What's that stuff called?

1039
00:49:46,167 --> 00:49:46,987
Diatonaceous Earth?

1040
00:49:47,307 --> 00:49:47,807
You know what I'm talking about?

1041
00:49:49,227 --> 00:49:49,747
No.

1042
00:49:50,647 --> 00:49:50,887
Okay.

1043
00:49:50,947 --> 00:49:51,527
Wait, what is it?

1044
00:49:52,147 --> 00:49:55,167
I don't want to pronounce it wrong again, but Diatonaceous Earth?

1045
00:49:55,167 --> 00:50:04,427
it it's safe for humans but it's like jagged for like insects so like if like a if like a scorpion

1046
00:50:04,427 --> 00:50:11,267
walked across like a bunch of it it would like rip up their exoskeleton oh so i would need to

1047
00:50:11,267 --> 00:50:16,307
like get some of that so that if i like came across like insect predators i could like

1048
00:50:16,307 --> 00:50:23,387
throw it at them or like put a circle or like roll around in it like you go ahead and take a

1049
00:50:23,387 --> 00:50:32,627
bite but guess what emmer effort it's gonna burn on the way down emmer effort so moth er

1050
00:50:32,627 --> 00:50:41,907
effort okay sorry it's okay so you're you're trusting the insect's ability to know that it's

1051
00:50:41,907 --> 00:50:48,587
diatonaceous earth since as you just told jenna earlier they don't speak english they understand

1052
00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:55,767
when I'm when I'm Francis is also very expressive yeah when I'm posturing angrily it's not they're

1053
00:50:55,767 --> 00:51:00,087
not gonna be like oh I better approach this guy looks welcoming but if it's coming at me like oh

1054
00:51:00,087 --> 00:51:04,807
a meal I'm gonna eat this guy I'm gonna be like you're about to get this shit in your your eye

1055
00:51:04,807 --> 00:51:14,047
you have a real bad time okay I want to know though assuming see like in my world I'm just

1056
00:51:14,047 --> 00:51:17,727
assuming the threats are not really threats I'm not too worried about it threats are not threats

1057
00:51:17,727 --> 00:51:19,867
What are you doing for fun, Francis?

1058
00:51:21,167 --> 00:51:21,607
Oh.

1059
00:51:22,167 --> 00:51:27,187
Once you, the fear levels, and you're now a tiny little man.

1060
00:51:30,227 --> 00:51:31,427
Teeny little super guy.

1061
00:51:31,547 --> 00:51:32,487
Teeny tiny little man.

1062
00:51:32,667 --> 00:51:33,527
Okay, let's assume you're right.

1063
00:51:33,607 --> 00:51:34,307
There's no threats.

1064
00:51:34,387 --> 00:51:34,547
Yeah.

1065
00:51:34,947 --> 00:51:37,487
I want to know what the fun side of this.

1066
00:51:37,487 --> 00:51:40,107
I think it would be so cute to climb a tree.

1067
00:51:40,747 --> 00:51:42,807
Especially like a ficus tree, because it's all tropical.

1068
00:51:43,047 --> 00:51:44,267
I feel like I was in Fern Gully.

1069
00:51:44,887 --> 00:51:47,227
You know, so I had like, me and the tree.

1070
00:51:47,727 --> 00:51:51,367
you could grab onto a balloon

1071
00:51:51,367 --> 00:51:54,047
and float away

1072
00:51:54,047 --> 00:51:56,187
and just like an ant

1073
00:51:56,187 --> 00:51:57,327
say the balloon pops

1074
00:51:57,327 --> 00:51:58,567
and you're thousands of feet in the air

1075
00:51:58,567 --> 00:52:00,127
you'll probably survive if you fall

1076
00:52:00,127 --> 00:52:01,787
due to your size

1077
00:52:01,787 --> 00:52:05,047
so I would do a lot of

1078
00:52:05,047 --> 00:52:06,127
I don't think that's right

1079
00:52:06,127 --> 00:52:07,087
yeah ants survive

1080
00:52:07,087 --> 00:52:09,247
you could drop an ant off a building

1081
00:52:09,247 --> 00:52:09,887
and it would be fine

1082
00:52:09,887 --> 00:52:15,267
like your aunt Tina

1083
00:52:15,267 --> 00:52:19,907
thanks for volunteering auntie

1084
00:52:19,907 --> 00:52:27,447
she is not okay um yeah so i would i want to do a lot of like daredevil type stuff

1085
00:52:27,447 --> 00:52:32,147
and um you know they have a lot of toys children's toys that you could use to like

1086
00:52:32,147 --> 00:52:38,067
do things like get in like a pool but now you're like in a little children's ball so

1087
00:52:38,067 --> 00:52:44,547
the barbie malibu house yeah you got i could live in a mansion aka barbie malibu

1088
00:52:44,547 --> 00:52:47,847
I feel like I would eat a lot of

1089
00:52:47,847 --> 00:52:49,547
I would jump onto a lot of food

1090
00:52:49,547 --> 00:52:50,887
It's like how funny

1091
00:52:50,887 --> 00:52:54,387
This hamburger is now like humongous

1092
00:52:54,387 --> 00:52:56,887
I'm climbing it and I'm eating my way to the middle

1093
00:52:56,887 --> 00:53:02,147
Really a metaphor for corporate America today

1094
00:53:02,147 --> 00:53:04,787
Ain't that the damn truth

1095
00:53:04,787 --> 00:53:05,907
Ain't that the DT

1096
00:53:05,907 --> 00:53:08,987
Slimfast if you're listening

1097
00:53:08,987 --> 00:53:10,027
And we know you are

1098
00:53:10,027 --> 00:53:11,487
This is another option

1099
00:53:11,487 --> 00:53:13,027
Just make the people tiny

1100
00:53:13,527 --> 00:53:14,547
Yeah, have you thought about that?

1101
00:53:14,627 --> 00:53:15,627
Yeah, you idiots.

1102
00:53:16,007 --> 00:53:16,507
Think about it.

1103
00:53:16,507 --> 00:53:16,667
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1104
00:53:16,787 --> 00:53:18,927
Hey, that's my future employer we're talking about.

1105
00:53:18,947 --> 00:53:20,487
They like a little tough love.

1106
00:53:20,807 --> 00:53:22,247
We have a playful relationship.

1107
00:53:22,507 --> 00:53:22,667
Yeah.

1108
00:53:23,327 --> 00:53:25,307
You should see how I talk to Donald.

1109
00:53:25,667 --> 00:53:26,807
I call him brain slim.

1110
00:53:26,927 --> 00:53:27,627
Donald aluminum.

1111
00:53:27,627 --> 00:53:30,587
Oh, Donald is such a masochist.

1112
00:53:30,787 --> 00:53:31,987
He just takes it.

1113
00:53:32,847 --> 00:53:33,287
Donald.

1114
00:53:34,027 --> 00:53:34,507
Donald.

1115
00:53:37,727 --> 00:53:39,927
Okay, so you do daredevil stuff.

1116
00:53:40,027 --> 00:53:42,627
I don't know if that's correct, that you wouldn't die if you jumped from...

1117
00:53:43,027 --> 00:53:44,867
Like a balloon that was...

1118
00:53:44,867 --> 00:53:45,567
Yeah, check it out.

1119
00:53:47,007 --> 00:53:47,427
Look it up.

1120
00:53:47,427 --> 00:53:47,507
Okay.

1121
00:53:48,007 --> 00:53:49,507
An ant can survive a fall like that.

1122
00:53:49,507 --> 00:53:54,467
But there might be something about the way the ant's body is composed that...

1123
00:53:54,467 --> 00:53:56,507
I don't think it's because it's so small.

1124
00:53:57,767 --> 00:53:58,207
Maybe.

1125
00:53:58,727 --> 00:53:59,867
I can't propose to know everything.

1126
00:54:00,847 --> 00:54:03,587
I'm just a simple commercial writer slash spokesperson.

1127
00:54:05,867 --> 00:54:10,047
I would like to walk on a pie.

1128
00:54:11,427 --> 00:54:12,647
I feel like that would be fun.

1129
00:54:13,027 --> 00:54:15,327
Or like walk on Jell-O.

1130
00:54:18,027 --> 00:54:20,487
You could do Jell-O Angels.

1131
00:54:21,727 --> 00:54:22,167
Yeah.

1132
00:54:23,567 --> 00:54:26,167
And then you would start a...

1133
00:54:26,167 --> 00:54:28,827
What's the thing?

1134
00:54:28,947 --> 00:54:30,167
Like an urban legend or whatever?

1135
00:54:31,087 --> 00:54:34,507
You know when people see the Virgin Mary in a waffle?

1136
00:54:34,847 --> 00:54:36,547
And then they photograph it and it's on the news?

1137
00:54:36,727 --> 00:54:36,987
Yeah.

1138
00:54:37,687 --> 00:54:40,007
It's like, oh my god, I was having breakfast and look!

1139
00:54:40,627 --> 00:54:41,187
Jell-O Angels!

1140
00:54:43,027 --> 00:54:49,807
So in this scenario, people don't know that we're tiny or that it's even possible?

1141
00:54:51,327 --> 00:54:51,687
Yeah.

1142
00:54:52,147 --> 00:54:52,447
Okay.

1143
00:54:52,647 --> 00:54:53,107
They don't know.

1144
00:54:53,187 --> 00:54:53,987
We're secret tinies?

1145
00:54:54,087 --> 00:54:54,727
Secret tinies.

1146
00:54:55,807 --> 00:54:55,987
Okay.

1147
00:54:58,507 --> 00:55:00,447
Actually, Francis, you've been vindicated.

1148
00:55:00,807 --> 00:55:03,847
And this kind of makes sense now that I'm reading the description.

1149
00:55:03,847 --> 00:55:07,767
But yeah, most insects can survive very high falls due to their low mass.

1150
00:55:08,767 --> 00:55:12,807
That's because they have low mass, which means that they accelerate less.

1151
00:55:13,027 --> 00:55:18,507
so the actual impact damage is much so the wind is slowing us down a lot because we're so tiny

1152
00:55:18,507 --> 00:55:26,747
exactly yes like you're more kind of like slowly floating now it seems fun to jump yeah sure i'd

1153
00:55:26,747 --> 00:55:33,627
jump too i'd jump today well that that also makes it a lot easier in my scenario i won't

1154
00:55:33,627 --> 00:55:39,387
be worried about i could jump and and miss people too i don't have to worry about being really good

1155
00:55:39,387 --> 00:55:40,167
that landing.

1156
00:55:40,347 --> 00:55:40,487
Yeah.

1157
00:55:40,587 --> 00:55:41,527
And you could climb up anyone

1158
00:55:41,527 --> 00:55:42,247
on their shoelace.

1159
00:55:42,807 --> 00:55:43,047
Yeah.

1160
00:55:43,847 --> 00:55:45,287
And you could climb their leg hair.

1161
00:55:46,167 --> 00:55:46,847
Oh, yeah.

1162
00:55:47,467 --> 00:55:48,807
To get to their fanny packs.

1163
00:55:50,747 --> 00:55:52,007
These are some gross people.

1164
00:55:52,747 --> 00:55:53,627
They're just men

1165
00:55:53,627 --> 00:55:54,987
who wear fanny packs.

1166
00:55:55,267 --> 00:55:56,227
They're just men.

1167
00:55:59,187 --> 00:55:59,587
Okay.

1168
00:56:00,407 --> 00:56:01,287
Well, it seems like

1169
00:56:01,287 --> 00:56:02,007
we'd have some fun.

1170
00:56:02,807 --> 00:56:03,007
Yeah.

1171
00:56:04,307 --> 00:56:04,747
Listeners,

1172
00:56:04,947 --> 00:56:06,427
tell us what you'd do

1173
00:56:06,427 --> 00:56:08,427
if you were teeny tiny,

1174
00:56:08,807 --> 00:56:09,927
If you were a secret tiny.

1175
00:56:11,067 --> 00:56:12,387
If you were a little bit of secret.

1176
00:56:12,687 --> 00:56:13,087
I'm done.

1177
00:56:13,467 --> 00:56:13,627
Yeah.

1178
00:56:15,407 --> 00:56:15,807
Yeah.

1179
00:56:17,807 --> 00:56:21,167
If you were a secret tiny, Francis, you never would have broken your rib.

1180
00:56:22,267 --> 00:56:22,807
That's true.

1181
00:56:23,187 --> 00:56:23,367
Yeah.

1182
00:56:24,507 --> 00:56:26,647
That would have been the cutest little ATV you ever did see.

1183
00:56:28,967 --> 00:56:29,367
Yeah.

1184
00:56:29,447 --> 00:56:32,607
Tell us, listeners, tell us what you would do if you were a secret tiny.

1185
00:56:33,867 --> 00:56:36,507
Anywhere on social media, at Very Fine Friends.

1186
00:56:37,187 --> 00:56:38,207
I wonder if you could ride a bullet.

1187
00:56:38,427 --> 00:56:41,607
ooh but would you want to

1188
00:56:41,607 --> 00:56:43,727
not if it was going into

1189
00:56:43,727 --> 00:56:45,167
somewhere oh actually wherever you stopped

1190
00:56:45,167 --> 00:56:47,007
you're done never mind

1191
00:56:47,007 --> 00:56:49,487
I just thought like wow if you gotta be on top and then like

1192
00:56:49,487 --> 00:56:50,767
you know

1193
00:56:50,767 --> 00:56:51,707
yeah

1194
00:56:51,707 --> 00:56:55,367
but maybe that idea sucks

1195
00:56:55,367 --> 00:56:57,867
speaking of

1196
00:56:57,867 --> 00:56:58,187
bullets

1197
00:56:58,187 --> 00:57:00,927
okay

1198
00:57:00,927 --> 00:57:03,827
alright well that wraps up the big question

1199
00:57:03,827 --> 00:57:04,827
the big question

1200
00:57:04,827 --> 00:57:05,707
alright

1201
00:57:05,707 --> 00:57:09,167
Well, we only have one final bit of business.

1202
00:57:10,467 --> 00:57:11,047
Francis.

1203
00:57:11,307 --> 00:57:11,547
Yep.

1204
00:57:13,027 --> 00:57:15,347
Do you have guesses?

1205
00:57:15,647 --> 00:57:16,207
I have guesses.

1206
00:57:16,587 --> 00:57:17,407
It happened one time.

1207
00:57:17,507 --> 00:57:17,947
I panicked.

1208
00:57:19,567 --> 00:57:20,127
Okay.

1209
00:57:21,127 --> 00:57:22,707
Is your word density?

1210
00:57:23,907 --> 00:57:24,327
No.

1211
00:57:25,067 --> 00:57:26,807
I don't even remember when I said that.

1212
00:57:28,087 --> 00:57:28,427
Okay.

1213
00:57:29,827 --> 00:57:35,367
Is your word train robbery?

1214
00:57:36,667 --> 00:57:37,107
No.

1215
00:57:37,767 --> 00:57:38,607
Is it robbery?

1216
00:57:39,327 --> 00:57:39,807
No.

1217
00:57:40,587 --> 00:57:41,207
Is it meth?

1218
00:57:41,907 --> 00:57:42,387
No.

1219
00:57:43,107 --> 00:57:47,707
I legitimately was thinking of Breaking Bad and you with this little kid wandering the desert.

1220
00:57:48,347 --> 00:57:49,367
Is it titty caca?

1221
00:57:50,727 --> 00:57:51,207
No.

1222
00:57:51,467 --> 00:57:53,207
I legitimately wanted to say that.

1223
00:57:53,467 --> 00:57:55,607
I have a word that I think is your decoy word.

1224
00:57:56,807 --> 00:57:58,147
I'm just going to have to say it.

1225
00:57:58,147 --> 00:58:04,167
Well, you can say that if you're declaring that you're guessing the decoy word, you can say that.

1226
00:58:04,167 --> 00:58:05,267
But it's a real word.

1227
00:58:05,367 --> 00:58:06,107
You don't get credited.

1228
00:58:06,627 --> 00:58:07,027
Shit.

1229
00:58:07,907 --> 00:58:09,427
Well, I think it's your decoy word.

1230
00:58:09,807 --> 00:58:11,087
I wrote down agonized.

1231
00:58:12,207 --> 00:58:14,047
That is my decoy word.

1232
00:58:14,387 --> 00:58:14,787
Yes.

1233
00:58:15,307 --> 00:58:18,567
I feel like Francis should get a point for guessing that it was your decoy word.

1234
00:58:18,707 --> 00:58:18,967
Well, yeah.

1235
00:58:19,767 --> 00:58:26,447
My favorite part of our podcast is how we look at all the rules of the secret word and how

1236
00:58:26,447 --> 00:58:27,307
they evolve over time.

1237
00:58:27,667 --> 00:58:27,947
Yeah.

1238
00:58:28,947 --> 00:58:32,187
And how our webmaster has to constantly be changing the table.

1239
00:58:32,187 --> 00:58:34,867
because if you go to verifiedfriends.com

1240
00:58:34,867 --> 00:58:36,547
you can see the points totals

1241
00:58:36,547 --> 00:58:38,567
and Francis is winning

1242
00:58:38,567 --> 00:58:40,747
you can see how we got the points too

1243
00:58:40,747 --> 00:58:41,807
episode by episode

1244
00:58:41,807 --> 00:58:43,647
it's quite stimulating

1245
00:58:43,647 --> 00:58:47,047
our rules are both rigid and arbitrary at the same time

1246
00:58:47,047 --> 00:58:47,967
soft and hard

1247
00:58:47,967 --> 00:58:50,867
um

1248
00:58:50,867 --> 00:58:53,267
well no my

1249
00:58:53,267 --> 00:58:55,807
my secret word

1250
00:58:55,807 --> 00:58:56,507
do you want me to tell you

1251
00:58:56,507 --> 00:58:58,247
oh yes of course I need to know

1252
00:58:58,247 --> 00:58:59,207
festivals

1253
00:58:59,207 --> 00:59:01,927
that was my secret word

1254
00:59:01,927 --> 00:59:04,007
that's a good word I'm writing it down now why

1255
00:59:04,007 --> 00:59:07,127
I can't wait to guess this

1256
00:59:07,127 --> 00:59:09,867
alright

1257
00:59:09,867 --> 00:59:11,707
dang you guessed my decoy word

1258
00:59:11,707 --> 00:59:14,027
that's only one point

1259
00:59:14,027 --> 00:59:15,227
though not like two points

1260
00:59:15,227 --> 00:59:16,867
if you guessed the secret word that's two points

1261
00:59:16,867 --> 00:59:19,107
guessing the decoy word is one point

1262
00:59:19,107 --> 00:59:20,627
putting you further ahead

1263
00:59:20,627 --> 00:59:23,827
now shoot I was not thinking about potential decoy words

1264
00:59:23,827 --> 00:59:25,187
did you say decoy words?

1265
00:59:25,327 --> 00:59:25,647
I did

1266
00:59:25,647 --> 00:59:28,107
um

1267
00:59:28,107 --> 00:59:34,627
All right, well, I have some guesses for your word.

1268
00:59:34,967 --> 00:59:35,207
Okay.

1269
00:59:37,807 --> 00:59:38,447
Capsules?

1270
00:59:39,367 --> 00:59:39,687
No.

1271
00:59:41,887 --> 00:59:42,587
Slufos?

1272
00:59:43,747 --> 00:59:45,007
Donald Aluminum?

1273
00:59:47,567 --> 00:59:48,247
Uvula.

1274
00:59:48,927 --> 00:59:49,307
No.

1275
00:59:50,987 --> 00:59:52,027
That's a good word, though.

1276
00:59:55,867 --> 00:59:56,827
Diatonaceous Earth?

1277
00:59:58,107 --> 00:59:59,387
No.

1278
01:00:01,347 --> 01:00:02,567
Those were my guesses.

1279
01:00:03,287 --> 01:00:03,627
Okay.

1280
01:00:03,847 --> 01:00:05,807
And I don't have a guess for your decoy.

1281
01:00:06,367 --> 01:00:06,667
Okay.

1282
01:00:06,807 --> 01:00:07,707
When did you say it?

1283
01:00:08,487 --> 01:00:09,307
Toward the beginning.

1284
01:00:09,687 --> 01:00:10,987
And I said my decoy word twice.

1285
01:00:12,627 --> 01:00:18,507
So, the word that I had, my secret word, was anecdotes.

1286
01:00:20,527 --> 01:00:21,087
Anecdotes.

1287
01:00:21,627 --> 01:00:21,847
Yeah.

1288
01:00:22,327 --> 01:00:25,427
You said it real fast in the perfect context.

1289
01:00:26,267 --> 01:00:26,827
Yeah, I did.

1290
01:00:26,827 --> 01:00:35,367
those are my anecdotes about spam and slim fast yeah wow yeah and my decoy word was bestseller

1291
01:00:35,367 --> 01:00:41,067
i said we're gonna we're gonna make slim fast a bestseller again wow

1292
01:00:41,067 --> 01:00:47,447
man you got him in early well then i said it again because i was like early and often i want

1293
01:00:47,447 --> 01:00:55,767
to bait her with my decoy word that didn't work it did not work i was i thought uvula was gonna be

1294
01:00:55,767 --> 01:00:57,847
I was

1295
01:00:57,847 --> 01:00:59,147
I'm disappointed

1296
01:00:59,147 --> 01:00:59,767
it's okay

1297
01:00:59,767 --> 01:01:00,547
that's a good guess

1298
01:01:00,547 --> 01:01:01,767
thank you

1299
01:01:01,767 --> 01:01:03,047
you want to do an evil laugh together?

1300
01:01:03,627 --> 01:01:03,827
sure

1301
01:01:03,827 --> 01:01:10,687
what?

1302
01:01:11,907 --> 01:01:12,747
all right

1303
01:01:12,747 --> 01:01:14,567
Francis once again

1304
01:01:14,567 --> 01:01:16,627
is adding to his point total

1305
01:01:16,627 --> 01:01:19,207
and I'm just left here

1306
01:01:19,207 --> 01:01:19,907
hmm

1307
01:01:19,907 --> 01:01:22,607
you sounded like a text message just now

1308
01:01:22,607 --> 01:01:23,487
hmm

1309
01:01:23,487 --> 01:01:23,767
yeah

1310
01:01:23,767 --> 01:01:25,167
like when your phone's already open

1311
01:01:25,167 --> 01:01:27,187
it's not like a full alert

1312
01:01:27,187 --> 01:01:28,187
it's that like

1313
01:01:28,187 --> 01:01:30,047
there it is

1314
01:01:30,047 --> 01:01:33,227
alright well I think that does it

1315
01:01:33,227 --> 01:01:34,327
for this episode

1316
01:01:34,327 --> 01:01:36,427
bye