welcome to friends like us uh we're gonna do a little improv but first we need a suggestion
producer give us a suggestion yeah we'll we'll riff a little bit first and then we'll do a scene
your word is innocent innocent i feel innocent you look innocent thanks yeah you're welcome
innocent of what any and all crimes and you're a lawyer we know you're a lawyer yeah i can think
of a way to get out of anything like i can think of questions to ask where it's like oh i thought
you meant like you had one foolproof way but you're saying in any situation yeah like there's
questions that you can think to ask that here's here's one example okay if i got pulled over in
my white camry and then i would go to court i'd be like your honor it's the best-selling color
of like one of the best-selling models you're telling me you know a hundred percent that it
was me and not some other white camry that drove by i don't think so you said you got pulled over
right because he pulled over the wrong camry it's a white camry oh oh i see what you're saying
i was like wouldn't the fact that you're in it prove that right because he pulled over the wrong
car oh and the other guy got away because he was going so fast your honor nice robes by the way
you look great in black very flattering um uh but what if i feel like someone's had to have
tried that and it didn't work i'd have never heard it and you've been to every single every trial and
i've read every court book every court book every documentary yeah they call them court books yeah
and every documentary too wow yeah and i did a personalized tour with reese witherspoon
oh what just reese and francis live right well she got a lot of experience from the legally blonde
movies oh okay i see i see how you got there now i'm just saying yes um what if okay what if the
scenario was um you are the only one in a store that's closed the alarm is going off and you're
holding two really expensive bottles of wine that the store sells wine and the cops burst in and
there you are the alarm going off and also you in a robber mask and gloves what would you say to get out of it the best robber mask and the best wine
you're you're in the both everything is just the best selling you're in the robber mask i'm in the
most popular color robber mask also i'm on ambien
your honor i thought i was in bed these are wines i thought they were
i thought it was paddling i thought they were flippers i'm sorry
i don't even drink wine
your honor why would i steal something i wouldn't use
it's a good point innocent thanks look at the cops
thought you did something didn't you double flip off i hold up the wines
aha you still have the evidence
no and now improv
wake up babe wake up what what is it i was here i was here all night what are you talking about
Where else would you have been?
I was here with you and we were making love.
What?
Honey, I don't remember that.
I blew your mind.
Wait.
Have you been having sex with me while I'm sleeping again?
God, no.
I wait.
Till you awaken.
Okay, well then why don't I remember this?
You need to remember it.
Remember, you changed my name in your phone to Oh God.
What?
Oh, actually, it is changed.
I don't remember doing that.
Some people may come to the door and they're going to say this man did a crime and I just need you to be there for me.
Of course, yeah.
I mean, of course, I'll be here for you.
Whatever you need.
Okay.
I'm sleeping.
Is that them?
Okay, I guess.
Hello?
Hi, yes.
It's three in the morning.
Can I help you, officer?
I'm looking for a very dangerous man.
Oh, no, it's just myself and my husband here.
Here's his picture.
Oh, that's a picture of my husband.
Yes.
Do you know where your husband was tonight?
I was told he was with me all night.
You need to be straight with me,
because the man in this picture has been accused of very heinous crimes.
Multiple people are dead, and others are disfigured,
and others left those people because of the disfigurement Oh wait hang on I getting a call Oh the caller ID says oh God I step outside
Out of respect.
Honey?
What's he saying?
He said multiple people are dead, and he has a picture of you.
Oh, that's a load of shit.
I didn't do that.
Remember?
We were kissing.
I thought we were making love, and it blew my mind.
Well, first we kissed, and then I rubbed you.
I rubbed you the right way.
That does sound like something I'd enjoy.
You are so beautiful.
Oh, not now, honey.
The cops are still here.
God, for me, I'm getting...
I'm in the mood.
Donald.
Donald, not now.
Haven't you ever wanted to?
When the...
Someone's in the other room with a badge?
Oh, God, I love that.
This...
Wait, this is a dangerous side of you I've never seen before.
Maybe the cops was...
Get the cops out of the bed.
Maybe the cops were right.
Maybe you are the dangerous guy they're looking for.
What?
what honey i i'm just saying i don't
wow officer officer i'm sorry about that yeah um anyway if we don't catch this guy
uh well i'm gonna be embarrassed
well i don't want you to obviously i don't want anyone to feel embarrassed in their job
i i don't know if that's the man look you have a picture of a man that looks like my husband
and you say that this is a dangerous man who's doing dangerous things yeah he's got he's wearing
a name tag in the picture let me see if i can make it out donald that that is my husband's name
but donald is the most common name
and he does have brown hair which is the most common hair color
huh hold on no one's ever tried this great questions well thank you they're not really
questions they're they're more like statements to help you know yeah no this is a great defense
i gotta think about this i'm not again i'm not trying to embarrass you at your job no but don't
you care that multiple people are dead and multiple people are single you mean the people
that were once with the people that are now dead they're victims too that's true no one ever thinks
about the people that were in relationships with the dead people i'm sorry about the disfigured
ones obviously their spouses had to leave it's not what they agreed to oh i thought this was
murder we were talking about. No, some people are dead.
But
you not talking about their partners or spouses No I don care No no Only the disfigured ones Yes Oh The other people are they getting money from policies You have a very specific sense of who to feel sympathy and empathy for
Yeah.
Officer.
Feels.
Officer.
I'm sorry.
What's your first name?
Gata.
Gata Feels.
Officer Gata Feels.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a beautiful name.
Thanks.
It's a, well, I, Cops run in my family.
My dad's name is Cop.
And he named you God of Feels?
Yeah.
Beautiful.
I love a good story like that.
Well, I don't know what to tell you, officer.
My husband has apparently been rubbing me in just the way that I like.
Okay.
Oh, hang on.
Oh, God's calling me again.
Oh, I'll step into the pantry.
Yes.
Feel free to help yourself to animal crackers in there.
Okay.
Have a smart pop.
Hello? He's still here, by the way.
Oh, God, I'm ready.
Are you telling yourself that you're ready?
I'm telling you.
Oh, okay, because you said, oh, God.
I'm just hoping you defend me, the monster Donald.
Wait, are you or are you not the monster Donald?
Shh! Imagine my fingers against your lips.
Were they against anybody else's lips or bodies tonight?
Maybe with a gun or a knife?
Um...
Donald?
Bernice, I think it's hot when you don't ask questions.
Oh, Donald.
I think it's hot when you kill people who are in the pantry.
Oh, Donald.
Bernice.
All right, I'm going to keep you on the line.
I don't know what I'm going to do yet.
I like stabbing personally.
Officer got a feels?
Yeah.
Oh, you went to town on those animal crackers.
Oh my god, you make these?
No, I bought them.
I think it's Nabisco makes them.
Anyway, I believe you.
Oh, perfect.
All right, no stabbing necessary.
I didn't hear what you just said.
I just got a check in your bedroom.
Oh, you feel free.
I mean, if you're not after my husband, then...
No, that's what I'm looking for.
Donald!
Scold!
Ha!
Season.