welcome to friends like us bonus improv joe can we please get a suggestion
Sure can.
Your suggestion is stepson.
Oh, stepson.
I don't have one of those.
Neither do I.
We're like twins.
We are.
That's what twins are.
Do you have the same kinds of children?
Where does the term come from?
Step.
Because you're a step away from being real family.
Don't come for me.
I'm not.
No.
Okay.
You know, like you're a step away from it being real.
Ah, that sounds bad.
I know.
You know what I mean.
I know what you mean.
Blood.
Yeah.
Organ worthy.
Hmm.
You're not organ worthy.
You may not.
Steps.
I always wanted a twin.
No, that's not true.
I wanted to find twins.
You're not a twin?
You just want to see twins in the wild?
I want to, like, be with twins.
As friends.
Oh, okay. You want to be friends with twins?
Yeah.
In high school, I was friends with two girls that were identical twins.
And I found out later from a different friend of mine that after high school, one of them got a tattoo of some kind of Chinese character or something like that.
But that meant a beautiful and unique soul.
We were just like, you know that's not true.
Well, her soul could still be unique.
Whatever it was, it was like beautiful and unique woman or whatever.
It's like, you are definitely not that.
There's literally a corrupt copy of you.
And that also made me think, well, it makes me think,
you know when people say, you're one in a million, right?
That's not really a compliment.
No, there's a lot more than a million people.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like, oh, they're saying there's like 8,000 other people
that are exactly like you, right?
is that math right i don't know could be 350 in america yeah so at least 350 yeah so if if you're
one in a million there at least 350 million or 350 people in the united states that are just like you okay if the math doesn stop now I leaving Well anyway Yeah I was like oh great
There's just a ton of people like me then.
Did the other twin go out and get a tattoo that matched?
That would be hilarious.
They weren't that funny.
Oh, too bad.
That would have been, yeah.
Too bad.
They were sweet girls, but not that bright.
Well, that's the kind of girl I'd want to be.
Sweet, but not bright?
Yeah.
How about sweet and bright?
That's too much work.
Pick one.
I guess it's true.
The more you know, the less sweet you get.
Isn't that the truth?
And now, improv.
Mom?
Yeah?
Today was a hard day.
I'm sorry, honey.
Tell me about it.
I just...
I learned more about the world.
And it's starting to feel like it's bad.
Oh, honey, what did I tell you about learning?
I know.
It's just hard to ignore them when they talk at school.
Teachers?
Yeah.
Well, I learned it.
I can't unlearn it.
I don't even know if I could go on now.
What's the point?
Honey, that's not the sweet little kid that I raised.
I know, I'm becoming more bright and less sweet.
No.
It's happening right now.
No, let me remove some knowledge from you.
How?
Napoleon was a really great guy.
What?
America was discovered in 1912.
I'm getting sweet again.
Oh, thank goodness.
This is, I'm getting, how do we stop this from happening, Mom?
I don't know.
I, we, we might have to just, every time you're in school, maybe there's a counter teacher right there.
A counter teacher?
Someone that can just always kind of keep you with a certain amount of knowledge that keeps you sweet.
Okay.
But still able to function in this world.
I hope so, because all I want to do is be.
Sweet?
Sweet and dumb.
I want that too, honey.
Thanks, Mom.
Cut to school.
Okay.
And so as you can see the War of 1812 led to some serious repercussions across the whole globe Um I just like to chime in here Oh excuse me Who are you Uh mercenary teacher
Mercenary teacher?
Yes, thank you.
This is my time.
Reclaiming my time?
Uh, no, there wasn't.
And no, it didn't.
Thank you.
Kids, don't.
Kids, you're looking.
No, no.
I can see you all looking slightly sweeter.
Nope. Don't listen to that mercenary teacher.
Nope. I want you, when you leave here, I want you angry at the world.
That's how much knowledge I want you to have.
Jenny, are you, Jenny, Jenny, are you okay?
No.
Something just happened to me.
Jenny, what's happening?
Oh, too educated.
Oh, yes, that's right.
Mad and sweet?
No, that's a dichotomy.
Something's happening.
Learn the word dichotomy and come over to my side.
I'd like to step in.
Mercenary teacher again?
There's no dichotomy.
There's only...
Deuteronomy.
Mercenary teacher!
What are you doing to my students?
That's it.
I've reached the apex of my education.
No.
Yes.
You're in sixth grade.
This can't be where it ends.
I'm done.
I'm getting my spindle drift.
Spindle.
Spindrift.
My hobo bag.
Your spindle.
There's a little bit of knowledge I just was able to give you.
More knowledge.
I'm gone now.
cut to 25 years later oh jenny uh oh hi uh this is um i'm so glad that we could have this date you
you're so your your profile was so sweet you like that i i loved it anyway i thought maybe
since you let me pick the restaurant and you'd be fine with wherever we went
I wanted to go to a Cuisines of the World restaurant where we could just really learn about all kinds of new cuisines.
Learn?
Yeah.
Like, I've never had Ethiopian food, but it looks like it'd be really good.
Oh.
And I wanted to try.
So what I ordered for us in advance is the maitre d menu That the menu where you order something and every dish is something you never heard of and you learn a little bit about a country with every dish
and a little bit about their
heritage. I can't.
What? Jenny, why?
I can't. I don't want to.
Jenny, but
you're so sweet.
You said anything that I picked
would be great. I respect you.
I do. I love you.
If you respect me, you would
You love me?
As a friend, yes.
This...
Whoa, this is...
Jenny, this is moving kind of fast.
Oh, good. Here comes the maitre d'.
No.
Oh, maitre d', yes. Hi.
Oh, what was that?
Oh, about Ethiopia?
Oh, thank you for the food.
I just learned so much.
Bye.
Jenny.
Jenny what's happening to you?
I don't know I'm
Jenny?
Is that
Are you
Why did your shirt just
Rip off your shoulders
And your body like that
Hulk style
I didn't do shit
Did you say
I didn't do shit
Jenny that's not very sweet
Oh
Two wolves are battling inside of me.
Jenny!
Oh, that's kind of a sweet sound.
Oh, no.
Help me.
Kill me.
Here comes Major D.
With our next chorus.
Major D has our next chorus.
Uh, buh, buh, buh.
Yes, I'd love to learn about the cuisine of Cambodia.
No, Jenny, what is this doing to you?
Jenny.
You're not the sweet person that I matched with on sweet Bumble.
Okay, how can I help you, Jenny?
find my twin
scene