1
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welcome to very fine friends bonus improv oh

2
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would you like to do some improv

3
00:00:26,140 --> 00:00:28,760
I would I'm gonna do it right now

4
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,080
great

5
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,480
I love improv

6
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imagine this is the first episode somebody

7
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listens to

8
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,080
what would be worth about that

9
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:42,940
like I'm losing my own

10
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made up accent

11
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I was hearing Maya Rudolph in there

12
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what I was really channeling

13
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was Jennifer Coolidge

14
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in Frasier.

15
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She plays,

16
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she's the home

17
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healthcare worker

18
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that takes over

19
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for Daphne

20
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when Daphne.

21
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Daphne Moon.

22
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Yeah, Daphne Moon

23
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when she gets married

24
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or engaged.

25
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Anyway,

26
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when she gets married,

27
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I think.

28
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She gets mooned.

29
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,000
Yeah.

30
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And she comes in

31
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and she's some like

32
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vaguely like

33
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German or Bavarian

34
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or something.

35
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Oh no,

36
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Mr. Craig.

37
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,700
You have to do your work.

38
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Joe, what a suggestion.

39
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Yes, you can.

40
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It's a fun voice to do.

41
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Your suggestion is recklessness.

42
00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:41,040
What's the craziest thing you've ever done, Francis?

43
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The craziest thing I've ever done?

44
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Yeah.

45
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A lot.

46
00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:45,840
Okay.

47
00:01:46,180 --> 00:01:48,880
Not in a van with your dad's friend in a fuzzy navel.

48
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:50,460
Just drinking with a guy.

49
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Um, crazy, crazy, crazy.

50
00:01:56,500 --> 00:02:00,520
Or can you think of it like, okay, I'm thinking about a time when I was very proud of myself

51
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at the time.

52
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,200
Um, I was 16 years old.

53
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I was in the car with my friends.

54
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I was driving and there was a car full of boys, 16 year old or at the same age.

55
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They were next to us.

56
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And they're definitely like trying to like, we were kind of, but they were, it was like,

57
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it was dangerous

58
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but it was like

59
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it wasn't like we were like

60
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angry at each other

61
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it was like they were definitely

62
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being playful

63
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but

64
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they

65
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there was a point in time

66
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when I was driving

67
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and I was in front

68
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and I was in front of them

69
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and

70
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they were like

71
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really like

72
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really hardcore on my tail like right behind me and I was like I could slam on the brakes right now and they would definitely rear end me and it would be all their fault and i didn do it and i was really proud

73
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of myself for not doing it right they probably got a cake in that car yeah um yeah anyway

74
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that is kind of crazy yeah you know what that reminds me of one time my friend and i we were

75
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when we were like 18 or 19 we were going to the strip club sure and um we took like she was driving

76
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one of her parents cars um hey girl anyway um she it was like a rainy night and she turned out onto

77
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bell road and we we went into a spin because yeah it was really scary and um she had a

78
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this is was funny to me in the moment even though we were like an imminent danger of dying but i

79
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still thought it was hilarious she had a headband on god i love a headband anyway um

80
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we once we started spinning the headband fell into her eyes and she was driving so they look

81
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like the the glasses from star trek exactly but so but you couldn't see anything so she had no and

82
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i was seeing this and i thought it was very funny and i wasn't laughing but i was in my head

83
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i'm like if we're gonna die this is a funny like last thing to see like she can't even save us now

84
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and so we're spinning and then we hit the median and there's traffic on the other side of the

85
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medium and we go over the median and i see a clear opening into the driveway of a big five

86
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i think that's what they were called and i'm like oh my god we're gonna make it into this

87
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like it's a miracle and right when i had the thought a jetta like came like speeding through

88
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and like smacked right into us.

89
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Oh, geez.

90
00:04:27,843 --> 00:04:28,023
Yeah.

91
00:04:29,723 --> 00:04:31,383
My friend didn't make it.

92
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I'm kidding.

93
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She's alive.

94
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You also gave her a shout out

95
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at the beginning of that story.

96
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Hey, girl.

97
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Anyway, yeah, that was crazy though.

98
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Man.

99
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Yeah.

100
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Oof.

101
00:04:43,263 --> 00:04:44,323
We still went.

102
00:04:46,723 --> 00:04:48,403
We ended up driving in a different car.

103
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I think I was like,

104
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come on.

105
00:04:53,163 --> 00:04:54,263
We're alive.

106
00:04:54,903 --> 00:05:05,183
gonna celebrate wow yeah harrowing it was harrowing yeah good word and now improv

107
00:05:05,183 --> 00:05:18,343
donald donald are you okay you okay oh god oh man oh my neck i'm so sorry my back

108
00:05:18,343 --> 00:05:21,643
Oh, man.

109
00:05:22,383 --> 00:05:32,407
That squirrel came out of nowhere Owie Oh Why didn you just run it over Oh I in so much pain Oh I know It was just instinct It was my instinct to save a life

110
00:05:32,587 --> 00:05:32,787
Oh.

111
00:05:34,106 --> 00:05:36,007
Tabitha, what about my life?

112
00:05:36,407 --> 00:05:38,046
Oh, no, I'm sorry.

113
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It was reflex.

114
00:05:39,847 --> 00:05:40,307
It was all...

115
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Oh, my God.

116
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Look at the car.

117
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It's ruined, and I got a whippy.

118
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Oh, honey.

119
00:05:47,606 --> 00:05:48,247
Oh, well.

120
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What do we do?

121
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I'll call AAA.

122
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Hold on.

123
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:58,327
oh no time for that just i'll just use the app just grab just grab the the beach towels

124
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out of the back and oh good idea to wrap myself in the no no honey oh you're the floaty can be a

125
00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:09,127
tourniquet oh god you're smart no no we just we're still going to the water park let's go

126
00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:17,687
come on oh oh i needed that oh you can still make me laugh after all these years no no honey no no

127
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I got those day passes.

128
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They're only good for today.

129
00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:24,467
Okay, the bit's getting old.

130
00:06:24,707 --> 00:06:25,226
No, no, no.

131
00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:26,587
No, I'm going, honey.

132
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So we're both going.

133
00:06:28,747 --> 00:06:29,067
What?

134
00:06:29,546 --> 00:06:29,947
We're going.

135
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My bone's coming out.

136
00:06:33,546 --> 00:06:36,687
And think about how much lighter you'll feel in water.

137
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Just floating your cares away.

138
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:40,767
Honey, honey.

139
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:43,986
Couldn't you use a lazy river right now?

140
00:06:44,027 --> 00:06:44,827
Can you call the police?

141
00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:45,267
I could.

142
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I'm calling the fun police.

143
00:06:49,687 --> 00:06:51,027
I'm calling the fun police.

144
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:54,807
Because we're going to Wacky Jack's Splash and Crash.

145
00:06:55,926 --> 00:06:58,507
You think maybe they'll have an EMT?

146
00:06:59,907 --> 00:07:01,567
There's two of you right now, Tabitha.

147
00:07:02,807 --> 00:07:05,567
An extra motion-y tidal pool?

148
00:07:05,847 --> 00:07:07,567
Yes, I think they'll have one of those.

149
00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:08,887
Tabitha, I don't think you understand.

150
00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:11,067
My mother's standing right next to you.

151
00:07:11,486 --> 00:07:12,307
It's getting dark.

152
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:23,267
honey honey your dead mother will still be there after after we go to wacky jack splash and crash

153
00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:31,707
okay come on just honey hey hey i didn't show you this earlier look look i'm opening my robe

154
00:07:31,707 --> 00:07:38,986
new bathing suit honey i want to support you but my intestines are on the floor

155
00:07:38,986 --> 00:07:50,687
oh god honey i i'll pack them back in oh here look here put a this this floaty frog ring look

156
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:55,867
there's a keeping it's keeping your intestines there's a road sign it's it says the hospital's

157
00:07:55,867 --> 00:08:01,947
on the way to the water park can't we just that's such a weird sign i never understood why they put

158
00:08:01,947 --> 00:08:17,770
it there i guess i get it now yeah just take me there first and guess what if it on the way to the hospital it on the way back to the hospital is on the way back from the water park We going honey God we been looking forward to this all summer

159
00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:21,350
It's been such a long summer, and our air conditioning is broken at home.

160
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,270
And my bones are broken here.

161
00:08:25,510 --> 00:08:25,950
Honey.

162
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:26,550
You go.

163
00:08:26,650 --> 00:08:27,850
I'll hobble to the...

164
00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:30,410
No, you know it's only fun if we both go.

165
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:33,590
Come on, just give it a shot.

166
00:08:34,070 --> 00:08:35,190
We'll get in there.

167
00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:37,750
Do a little lazy river action.

168
00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:39,690
We'll go in the wave pool.

169
00:08:40,390 --> 00:08:42,430
We'll do one water slide.

170
00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:44,550
And after that, after we've done all that,

171
00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:46,470
if you don't still want to stick around,

172
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:48,330
then fine.

173
00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:50,990
We will go to the boring hospital.

174
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,430
I don't think I'm going to be around.

175
00:08:55,710 --> 00:08:57,510
Yeah, because you'll be in the wave pool with me.

176
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:58,050
All right.

177
00:08:58,050 --> 00:08:59,050
Just let me call my...

178
00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:00,870
Let me tell a health appointment.

179
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:02,750
Someone needs to see this to make sure it's okay.

180
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,110
We can do it on the way.

181
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,890
cut to the water park

182
00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:08,650
whoa

183
00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:11,370
whoa

184
00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:12,290
whoa

185
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:15,670
how do you feel

186
00:09:15,670 --> 00:09:18,190
you were right this is great

187
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:19,950
oh honey

188
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:22,270
oh look I can see where you've been in the lazy

189
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,650
river because of the blood

190
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,710
oh my gosh

191
00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:27,910
and my

192
00:09:27,910 --> 00:09:29,570
bone is still out

193
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:32,170
oh my god whose intestines are these

194
00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:33,710
oh they're mine

195
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:34,290
I'm sorry.

196
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:36,310
Oh my God.

197
00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:37,330
You know what we should do next?

198
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:37,710
What?

199
00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:39,330
Go to the hospital.

200
00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:40,850
I don't feel good.

201
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:42,350
Donald.

202
00:09:43,430 --> 00:09:43,990
Tabitha.

203
00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:46,110
Okay.

204
00:09:46,110 --> 00:09:46,590
Just.

205
00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:48,210
We just.

206
00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:48,670
One.

207
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,110
Frozen berry blast drink first.

208
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:52,090
Okay.

209
00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:53,310
Please.

210
00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:54,130
Please.

211
00:09:54,270 --> 00:09:54,650
Okay.

212
00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:55,650
We're here already.

213
00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:56,770
We're already.

214
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:57,950
We're already here.

215
00:09:58,050 --> 00:09:58,170
We're here already.

216
00:09:58,830 --> 00:09:59,270
All right.

217
00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:01,470
One drink.

218
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:06,750
I'll have one blueberry broken man drink.

219
00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:09,190
Honey, you're ordering it all wrong.

220
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:10,790
There's a lifeguard.

221
00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:12,490
Yeah.

222
00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:13,210
Wave him down.

223
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:14,890
We can both get what we want.

224
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:15,550
Okay.

225
00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:18,650
Oh, here's the lifeguard.

226
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,370
Mr. Lifeguard?

227
00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:22,110
Sir?

228
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:24,330
Yes?

229
00:10:25,010 --> 00:10:27,510
Can I get a blueberry smoothie?

230
00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:32,150
I got a couple of blueberries for you

231
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:34,350
honey it's a stripper

232
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:36,150
lifeguard I ordered them just for you

233
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:38,610
teen