welcome to very fine friends bonus improv oh
would you like to do some improv
I would I'm gonna do it right now
great
I love improv
imagine this is the first episode somebody
listens to
what would be worth about that
like I'm losing my own
made up accent
I was hearing Maya Rudolph in there
what I was really channeling
was Jennifer Coolidge
in Frasier.
She plays,
she's the home
healthcare worker
that takes over
for Daphne
when Daphne.
Daphne Moon.
Yeah, Daphne Moon
when she gets married
or engaged.
Anyway,
when she gets married,
I think.
She gets mooned.
Yeah.
And she comes in
and she's some like
vaguely like
German or Bavarian
or something.
Oh no,
Mr. Craig.
You have to do your work.
Joe, what a suggestion.
Yes, you can.
It's a fun voice to do.
Your suggestion is recklessness.
What's the craziest thing you've ever done, Francis?
The craziest thing I've ever done?
Yeah.
A lot.
Okay.
Not in a van with your dad's friend in a fuzzy navel.
Just drinking with a guy.
Um, crazy, crazy, crazy.
Or can you think of it like, okay, I'm thinking about a time when I was very proud of myself
at the time.
Um, I was 16 years old.
I was in the car with my friends.
I was driving and there was a car full of boys, 16 year old or at the same age.
They were next to us.
And they're definitely like trying to like, we were kind of, but they were, it was like,
it was dangerous
but it was like
it wasn't like we were like
angry at each other
it was like they were definitely
being playful
but
they
there was a point in time
when I was driving
and I was in front
and I was in front of them
and
they were like
really like
really hardcore on my tail like right behind me and I was like I could slam on the brakes right now and they would definitely rear end me and it would be all their fault and i didn do it and i was really proud
of myself for not doing it right they probably got a cake in that car yeah um yeah anyway
that is kind of crazy yeah you know what that reminds me of one time my friend and i we were
when we were like 18 or 19 we were going to the strip club sure and um we took like she was driving
one of her parents cars um hey girl anyway um she it was like a rainy night and she turned out onto
bell road and we we went into a spin because yeah it was really scary and um she had a
this is was funny to me in the moment even though we were like an imminent danger of dying but i
still thought it was hilarious she had a headband on god i love a headband anyway um
we once we started spinning the headband fell into her eyes and she was driving so they look
like the the glasses from star trek exactly but so but you couldn't see anything so she had no and
i was seeing this and i thought it was very funny and i wasn't laughing but i was in my head
i'm like if we're gonna die this is a funny like last thing to see like she can't even save us now
and so we're spinning and then we hit the median and there's traffic on the other side of the
medium and we go over the median and i see a clear opening into the driveway of a big five
i think that's what they were called and i'm like oh my god we're gonna make it into this
like it's a miracle and right when i had the thought a jetta like came like speeding through
and like smacked right into us.
Oh, geez.
Yeah.
My friend didn't make it.
I'm kidding.
She's alive.
You also gave her a shout out
at the beginning of that story.
Hey, girl.
Anyway, yeah, that was crazy though.
Man.
Yeah.
Oof.
We still went.
We ended up driving in a different car.
I think I was like,
come on.
We're alive.
gonna celebrate wow yeah harrowing it was harrowing yeah good word and now improv
donald donald are you okay you okay oh god oh man oh my neck i'm so sorry my back
Oh, man.
That squirrel came out of nowhere Owie Oh Why didn you just run it over Oh I in so much pain Oh I know It was just instinct It was my instinct to save a life
Oh.
Tabitha, what about my life?
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
It was reflex.
It was all...
Oh, my God.
Look at the car.
It's ruined, and I got a whippy.
Oh, honey.
Oh, well.
What do we do?
I'll call AAA.
Hold on.
oh no time for that just i'll just use the app just grab just grab the the beach towels
out of the back and oh good idea to wrap myself in the no no honey oh you're the floaty can be a
tourniquet oh god you're smart no no we just we're still going to the water park let's go
come on oh oh i needed that oh you can still make me laugh after all these years no no honey no no
I got those day passes.
They're only good for today.
Okay, the bit's getting old.
No, no, no.
No, I'm going, honey.
So we're both going.
What?
We're going.
My bone's coming out.
And think about how much lighter you'll feel in water.
Just floating your cares away.
Honey, honey.
Couldn't you use a lazy river right now?
Can you call the police?
I could.
I'm calling the fun police.
Because we're going to Wacky Jack's Splash and Crash.
You think maybe they'll have an EMT?
There's two of you right now, Tabitha.
An extra motion-y tidal pool?
Yes, I think they'll have one of those.
Tabitha, I don't think you understand.
My mother's standing right next to you.
It's getting dark.
honey honey your dead mother will still be there after after we go to wacky jack splash and crash
okay come on just honey hey hey i didn't show you this earlier look look i'm opening my robe
new bathing suit honey i want to support you but my intestines are on the floor
oh god honey i i'll pack them back in oh here look here put a this this floaty frog ring look
there's a keeping it's keeping your intestines there's a road sign it's it says the hospital's
on the way to the water park can't we just that's such a weird sign i never understood why they put
it there i guess i get it now yeah just take me there first and guess what if it on the way to the hospital it on the way back to the hospital is on the way back from the water park We going honey God we been looking forward to this all summer
It's been such a long summer, and our air conditioning is broken at home.
And my bones are broken here.
Honey.
You go.
I'll hobble to the...
No, you know it's only fun if we both go.
Come on, just give it a shot.
We'll get in there.
Do a little lazy river action.
We'll go in the wave pool.
We'll do one water slide.
And after that, after we've done all that,
if you don't still want to stick around,
then fine.
We will go to the boring hospital.
I don't think I'm going to be around.
Yeah, because you'll be in the wave pool with me.
All right.
Just let me call my...
Let me tell a health appointment.
Someone needs to see this to make sure it's okay.
We can do it on the way.
cut to the water park
whoa
how do you feel
you were right this is great
oh honey
oh look I can see where you've been in the lazy
river because of the blood
oh my gosh
and my
bone is still out
oh my god whose intestines are these
oh they're mine
I'm sorry.
Oh my God.
You know what we should do next?
What?
Go to the hospital.
I don't feel good.
Donald.
Tabitha.
Okay.
Just.
We just.
One.
Frozen berry blast drink first.
Okay.
Please.
Okay.
We're here already.
We're already.
We're already here.
We're here already.
All right.
One drink.
I'll have one blueberry broken man drink.
Honey, you're ordering it all wrong.
There's a lifeguard.
Yeah.
Wave him down.
We can both get what we want.
Okay.
Oh, here's the lifeguard.
Mr. Lifeguard?
Sir?
Yes?
Can I get a blueberry smoothie?
I got a couple of blueberries for you
honey it's a stripper
lifeguard I ordered them just for you
teen