1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:19,860
okay this would be a really funny ability to have you know how Roger Rabbit you ever seen Roger

2
00:00:19,860 --> 00:00:27,960
Rabbit no are you serious why it came out when I was a kid we were not allowed to watch it I think

3
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,900
because Jessica Rabbit was very sexy.

4
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,640
She was hot, but she kept her clothes on.

5
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,900
Well, she got huge tits that were barely covered.

6
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:36,640
The irony.

7
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,440
Okay, mine are covered.

8
00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:41,100
So I think we're good.

9
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,720
I mean, granted, at any moment.

10
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They could come out.

11
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,920
Yeah, but at the moment they're covered.

12
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Well, there's a scene in the movie

13
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where Roger Rabbit jumps out a window

14
00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:54,000
and it leaves the shape of him.

15
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Yeah.

16
00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:55,580
And I'm like, how funny would that be

17
00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:56,700
if you could just do that?

18
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:57,560
Yeah.

19
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,900
I know, it's too bad that we can't.

20
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:03,480
I've often thought that that's really funny.

21
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:04,640
Yeah, that'd be a really funny bit.

22
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,480
That would be expensive for people to clean up.

23
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,940
Well, no, or would it be?

24
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Glass is expensive.

25
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,420
Oh, jumping out the window, like the glass look like that.

26
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,440
Okay, I don't know what I was thinking.

27
00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:24,000
You seem to be so on board.

28
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I always picture people jumping through walls like that

29
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and the wall being the same shape.

30
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I was picturing both.

31
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:29,940
Oh.

32
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:30,440
Okay.

33
00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:32,040
Well, both of those things cost money.

34
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,940
But hey, I mean, if the cleaners are laughing while they're doing it,

35
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:36,960
are they really working?

36
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:38,460
That sounds like play to me.

37
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,500
Yeah, just tape it up.

38
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,160
I'll probably do it again.

39
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,740
Yeah, I know.

40
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:44,660
See if I can get the exact same.

41
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,180
That would be fun to try.

42
00:01:46,180 --> 00:01:47,240
Yeah, yeah.

43
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,120
Then it would become like a game.

44
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,060
What would you call it?

45
00:01:53,060 --> 00:01:53,840
Body hole.

46
00:01:53,840 --> 00:02:01,620
yeah self-slot did you say self-slot yeah yeah i wish you'd said that before i heard body hole

47
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:09,960
hole i know oh can't beat it oh you know what else i always think is a fun gag

48
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:19,240
or like visual image in a movie tell me when um i think sidecars on motorcycles in general are

49
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:24,480
funny but when they become detached and go downstairs that's really funny i don't know if

50
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:29,560
i've ever seen one go downstairs it's like well it's like uh aristocats yeah it's like the

51
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:34,340
motorcycle oh no the sidecar is detached and then it starts to drift over here and then it's like

52
00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:39,600
downstairs like i and it's it's an aristocats right i don't remember i think it's aristocats

53
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:44,600
i feel like it's in a lot of cartoons from like the 60s yeah or maybe it's 101 dalmatians one of

54
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,520
those two but like there's a bike and a sidecar and then like the big dogs and the bike and the

55
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:52,740
little dog is in the sidecar and they're like they're coming out towards like one of those

56
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like stairs down to the riverbank kind of things and the the big dog stays straight and then the

57
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,740
little dog just goes straight down and like they cleanly detach and keep going in a straight line

58
00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:11,580
it's pretty solid yeah it's solid yeah good good gags yeah cartoons should be like gags it should

59
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:18,280
be like life life should be like cartoons rather oh yeah yeah you don't fall unless you notice that

60
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,400
you're not on solid ground.

61
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,280
That's a good one. Yeah.

62
00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:24,000
And no matter how scary it seems, you know you're going to be fine.

63
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,040
Oh, and big

64
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,140
cartoon butter.

65
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:30,140
Big cartoon butter? You know when they like butter toast

66
00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:32,200
and it looks like the best toast you could ever have in your life?

67
00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:33,920
Give me something. And cartoon beer.

68
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,900
Cartoon beer, dude. Cartoon beer.

69
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,920
So good. So fizzy. That's why I was

70
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,040
that's why I'm not a huge, I think it's cartoons

71
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,680
have ruined beer for me. It's because it's like

72
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,040
I want it to taste like what it looks like

73
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,900
in a cartoon where it looks like

74
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,940
just the most magical cream soda you've ever

75
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:56,420
had and it said it tastes like beer stupid we should sue i i'm going to sue i'm literally suing

76
00:03:56,420 --> 00:04:00,760
right now thank god you're a lawyer should you sue cartoons incorporated or should you sue i'm

77
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:05,600
suing beer beer yeah yes cartoons did nothing wrong yeah they were like here we're setting

78
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:11,340
the stage we just gave you what we showed you yes we just invented a great drink for you don't

79
00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:11,980
screw it up.

80
00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:12,600
The beer was like,

81
00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:13,160
nah.

82
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:13,840
Yeah.

83
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:15,440
Yep.

84
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:16,020
Beer's like,

85
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:16,480
no.

86
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:17,080
Yeah.

87
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:17,540
Beer's like,

88
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:17,620
I don't know.

89
00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:18,540
We're gonna make it like bitter.

90
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:19,120
Yeah.

91
00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:20,000
Weird tasting.

92
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:20,640
Hmm.

93
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:21,860
Hmm.

94
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:22,460
Hmm.

95
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:24,580
Yeah.

96
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:25,300
Yeah.

97
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,520
Sounds kind of whalish.

98
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,320
Welcome to Very Fine Friends,

99
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,780
a podcast where friends talk about stuff.

100
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:37,060
Well,

101
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,920
I'm glad we've gotten our cartoon grievances out of the way.

102
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,240
Some of them.

103
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,180
Beer, look out.

104
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,200
We're coming for you.

105
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:44,140
Yeah, you've got time.

106
00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:44,800
You're on notice.

107
00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:45,700
Get cartoony.

108
00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:46,140
Yeah.

109
00:04:48,260 --> 00:04:51,380
And Francis is a lawyer, as we have established.

110
00:04:51,380 --> 00:04:53,560
And I just paid my dues.

111
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,080
Your law dues.

112
00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:56,040
Yeah, so I'm ready.

113
00:04:56,180 --> 00:04:57,440
I'm in a bad mood.

114
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:57,940
Oh.

115
00:04:58,660 --> 00:04:59,420
Watch out.

116
00:05:00,980 --> 00:05:01,920
Yeah, beer.

117
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,860
So I can hear beer shaking in its boots.

118
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:05,520
Yeah, that's right.

119
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,100
Fizz up.

120
00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:07,780
Anyway.

121
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,880
But fizz up to a cartoony level, please.

122
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:10,220
Yeah.

123
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,380
And then tastes like cream soda.

124
00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:15,920
How are you, Francis?

125
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:17,820
Good.

126
00:05:19,740 --> 00:05:21,520
That doesn't sound enthusiastic.

127
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,380
I deal with some personal stuff.

128
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,120
I'm sorry.

129
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:26,220
You know, life, life, life, life.

130
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:27,700
I think I've been hexed.

131
00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:28,580
No.

132
00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:30,180
I want to find someone to unhex me.

133
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,160
I'll help you with that.

134
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:32,700
Thanks.

135
00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:33,200
Sure.

136
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,020
I didn't know you needed to be.

137
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,520
I could have done this a long time ago.

138
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,200
Oh, I should be more open with my needs and wants.

139
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,160
You're hexing.

140
00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:46,720
yeah just ask for you gotta ask your friends for help i keep too much in i'm famously an

141
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:53,520
undersharer it's true i know nothing about you uh how are you doing i'm doing well

142
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:59,540
yeah i'm doing well hold it in i'm not your therapist i thought that would land better

143
00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:05,880
well you are actually the closest thing i have to a therapist so in a way you are i have some

144
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,700
pretty good advice you know i once wanted to go to school to be a therapist oh yeah yeah

145
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:17,640
when what happened um i think you'd be a good therapist thank you i'm so fucked up um there's

146
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:21,780
a lot of school like i thought you could get a bachelor's and then do like counseling but you

147
00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:28,620
really can't you have to like get a master's and i'm like so much time yeah just to help people

148
00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:34,580
time to help people why don't you just trust me that i'll eventually get it or just trust me that

149
00:06:34,580 --> 00:06:39,620
I'm going to give good advice. Yeah. There's Yelp. You'll know if I'm doing good or bad.

150
00:06:40,140 --> 00:06:44,080
Yeah. I thought you meant like they could look at your Yelp reviews and be like,

151
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:50,360
this guy clearly gives good advice. Go here. Don't go here. That's what I meant. Yes. Yeah.

152
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:58,680
He's got good taste and good recommendations. Okay. This is, I feel like I could curate the

153
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:06,240
most amazing therapy room that you'd like want to go to you know what I mean like how what would

154
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:11,960
you do like I just feel like I could pick out the perfect chairs like I would have I would have

155
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:18,580
a really nice chaise lounge but like a really professional one so if you wanted to kind of

156
00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:25,660
lay back you could do that but I would also have a nice like comfortable chair that you could sit

157
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:27,980
if you didn't want to be in the chaise lounge, so you got to choose.

158
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,420
Of course, there would be books, many books.

159
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,480
So I could choose the chaise?

160
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,900
Choose the chaise of cha.

161
00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:35,580
Chas.

162
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,400
Anyway, I'd be there, so huge plus.

163
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:44,100
I mentioned the books, just beautiful art, probably Kandinsky.

164
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:45,200
Oh.

165
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,740
You know, things along that nature.

166
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:49,400
Nice.

167
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:49,880
Yeah.

168
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:50,760
You'd probably be...

169
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,660
What would be the color palette?

170
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:59,880
um well i like pest not pestles i know i said that i like gem tones yes same

171
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:07,020
come to my therapy room yeah nothing like a i like a saturated color yeah probably an emerald

172
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:12,340
yeah oh emerald's great yeah emerald's great good ruby accent too is not bad

173
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:19,840
love you're probably half cured just by walking in this room yeah but then would you be worried

174
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,120
that you're creating an environment so soothing people wouldn't want to leave?

175
00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:26,980
I'm charged by the hour.

176
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,500
I know, but you still, you also probably,

177
00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,560
I feel like if I was a therapist, I'm like,

178
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:38,180
50 minutes is, I'm sure I hate you by the end of that 50 minutes.

179
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:39,080
I'm going to need you to go.

180
00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:42,060
I just have like one of those, what do they call them?

181
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,340
Like the daylight lights.

182
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:47,100
I just like flip it on, like overhead lighting.

183
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,440
The gays know what I'm talking about.

184
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,680
You mean like a last call late?

185
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:51,160
Yeah.

186
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:51,740
Like at a bar?

187
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:52,060
Yeah.

188
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:52,500
Yeah.

189
00:08:53,540 --> 00:08:56,540
At the 45 minute mark, just...

190
00:08:56,540 --> 00:08:57,580
All right.

191
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,120
Wrap it up.

192
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,300
Tapping my pen.

193
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,080
You're someone with a hook.

194
00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:06,140
Like coming backstage.

195
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:08,000
Yeah.

196
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,840
My assistant, the vaudeville pullout.

197
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:10,240
Yeah.

198
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,080
Even orchestra play them off.

199
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,900
How come no one's tried this?

200
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,320
I don't know.

201
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,580
Again, that's another comically funny thing.

202
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:22,460
It's a giant hook.

203
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:23,980
Quick interruption.

204
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:33,980
Every week on the podcast, we do something where our producer Joe gives Francis and I each our own secret word.

205
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:42,360
Throughout the course of the podcast, we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing.

206
00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:46,680
If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point.

207
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:55,640
and right before we die we add up all the points and then we get a prize whoever has the most points

208
00:09:55,640 --> 00:10:02,660
for guessing the most secret words here's joe with today's secret words jenna's secret word

209
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:09,780
is sideburns jenna's decoy word is inviting francis's secret word is middleman francis's

210
00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:16,500
decoy word is commercialism back to the pod you know it's not comically funny

211
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:22,560
the invention of the weed oh i disagree

212
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:25,940
inventions

213
00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:36,840
great segue thank you thank you so much i invented it myself speaking of which francis

214
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:44,260
would you like to share with us your invention this week yeah okay are you sure yeah yeah yeah

215
00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:45,140
All right, cool.

216
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:45,960
Yeah!

217
00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,000
Oh, okay, I'm convinced now.

218
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:48,260
Okay.

219
00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:49,500
Hey, you guys.

220
00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:50,180
Yeah?

221
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,580
You know how men are angry and violent?

222
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:53,940
I do know that.

223
00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:55,940
Do you know how men commit murders?

224
00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:58,140
I know it sounds like a deja vu impression.

225
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,520
Okay, I do know that.

226
00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:03,700
Okay, you know how we don't want to be murdered.

227
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,280
I do know that.

228
00:11:06,180 --> 00:11:09,340
You know how there's science?

229
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,040
Is there?

230
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:13,700
I don't know.

231
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:14,120
Okay.

232
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,360
I'll concede that.

233
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:15,620
Yeah.

234
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,740
Remember how I previously invented, um, lady radar.

235
00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:22,060
Lady rate.

236
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:22,600
Wait, the one.

237
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,420
So you could know if your lady is cheating on you.

238
00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:25,100
No.

239
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,780
The one that, you know, if a man is approaching while you're jogging.

240
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:28,940
Oh yes.

241
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:29,240
Yeah.

242
00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:34,780
Well, that was, I realized after I invented that and I'm still very, very proud.

243
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:37,900
The safety or the no contact lens.

244
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:39,720
She's spy.

245
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:43,000
Oh, the Juby jogger.

246
00:11:43,140 --> 00:11:44,080
Juby jogger.

247
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:44,660
Yes.

248
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:44,840
Yeah.

249
00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:45,340
Yes.

250
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:45,720
Yeah.

251
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:50,340
Well, I had an epiphany and this invention cuts out the middleman on this one.

252
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:51,320
Okay.

253
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,020
It cuts out the murderer.

254
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:55,680
Kind of.

255
00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:56,340
Okay.

256
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,020
Yeah, kind of.

257
00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:58,800
Totally, totally, kind of.

258
00:11:59,100 --> 00:11:59,360
Okay.

259
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,240
Here it is.

260
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:10,860
It's a device, like a Dexcom, like a little thing that you plop onto the man.

261
00:12:11,340 --> 00:12:11,480
Okay.

262
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,420
What's a Dexcom?

263
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:19,960
i don't really know you have some idea because it's like it's like something that sticks on you

264
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:24,720
and it like tells your blood sugar i don't know if that's true oh oh okay like the thing that's

265
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:29,520
on people's arms sometimes yeah and it like keeps yeah track of their stats yeah yeah yeah yeah okay

266
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:35,540
i just didn't know that's the baseline so it goes on the man yep and every woman will make this a

267
00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:39,380
condition of their relationship like while we're dating and figuring you out like you need to wear

268
00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:48,680
this thing so sure babe he gets the install right and what it does jenna and joe what it does

269
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:56,760
is it continuously measures the the amount of hormones in the body like adrenaline cortisol

270
00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:07,100
epinephrine and when those hormones spike when you know that this man is about to go into a

271
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:13,860
murderous rage, it immediately releases counteracting hormones to stop the rage.

272
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:34,640
So your hypothesis is that women get murdered while they're jogging by strangers or by the

273
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:35,500
men that they're dating?

274
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:37,160
Actually, yes.

275
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:40,260
And just dating, like just recently dating.

276
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,940
It could be husbands too, but most women are murdered by people they know.

277
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:50,620
Well, that's true, but are we going to strap one of these to every man on the planet?

278
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,140
We can give a tax break.

279
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,500
Aren't some of those hormones good for you to experience sometimes?

280
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:03,300
Sometimes.

281
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:22,891
Like what if a man gets a cortisol spike because he in a really dangerous situation and that like isn that like or like a spike of adrenaline because he you know like and then you just suddenly stop him and then he like he like oh I not scared of of this impending car wreck anymore

282
00:14:23,391 --> 00:14:26,391
So I'm just gonna drive right into it.

283
00:14:28,491 --> 00:14:28,971
No.

284
00:14:29,171 --> 00:14:30,171
No, that won't happen.

285
00:14:30,171 --> 00:14:41,631
Science knows the amount of hormones that precipitate murder.

286
00:14:42,091 --> 00:14:47,651
So it's different from a car, and it's different from just road rage,

287
00:14:47,691 --> 00:14:49,391
or it's different from yelling at someone at Home Depot.

288
00:14:51,211 --> 00:14:51,891
It's different.

289
00:14:53,391 --> 00:14:56,331
It's different than yelling at a stranger in Home Depot?

290
00:14:56,611 --> 00:14:56,871
Yeah.

291
00:14:56,871 --> 00:14:59,251
But we can adjust the levels because guess what?

292
00:14:59,251 --> 00:15:04,711
most people don't want to be upset and if they just had a little implant think of it it's like

293
00:15:04,711 --> 00:15:12,591
a little person next to you that's like no drop your ego papa and it gives you a second

294
00:15:12,591 --> 00:15:17,611
to recalibrate and be like i don't need to yell i don't need to be in a car accident

295
00:15:17,611 --> 00:15:21,531
then it sounds like the only way that this works is if this is a product for everyone

296
00:15:21,531 --> 00:15:26,511
not just men who are in relationships with women we start with men

297
00:15:26,511 --> 00:15:32,751
i'm saying if it's everyone then like what jenna said about what if the man is in a dangerous

298
00:15:32,751 --> 00:15:37,871
situation well if it was for everyone then presumably the person putting that man in a

299
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:43,671
dangerous situation would have one dangerous situations go away exactly i'm just saying

300
00:15:43,671 --> 00:15:52,091
it only works if everyone is keeping each other in check a great feedback okay yes that's how it

301
00:15:52,091 --> 00:16:01,051
works sort of or it could be a brave new world scenario where they're all just we're all just

302
00:16:01,051 --> 00:16:06,971
taking pills to like regulate any type of emotion to keep us all in a regular stasis of like

303
00:16:06,971 --> 00:16:14,011
la-di-da i know you're saying that i know you're making a good point but you've read the book do

304
00:16:14,011 --> 00:16:17,671
you really want to be the fat lady that comes back to society or do you want to be one of the perfect

305
00:16:17,671 --> 00:16:24,431
ones i'm sorry i said fat lady she was fat and ugly right i she was she was more than just fat

306
00:16:24,431 --> 00:16:28,731
she had other bad things going she was like just i'm sorry i want to take it all back

307
00:16:28,731 --> 00:16:34,071
no it's fine it's fine that's you didn't write the book i know but why did i focus on fat i'm fat

308
00:16:34,071 --> 00:16:42,591
where's my empathy it's no okay that's not the point the late no i i think

309
00:16:42,591 --> 00:16:52,511
it's better to have you need these like range of you need these like ranges of hormones like they

310
00:16:52,511 --> 00:17:00,911
do things they regulate things in your body yeah yeah so like the second they start to do something

311
00:17:00,911 --> 00:17:06,871
that's a sign that's your body giving you a sign that something's happening can we just try it

312
00:17:06,871 --> 00:17:10,631
because I feel like, ooh, new idea.

313
00:17:10,871 --> 00:17:13,291
We start with people with a violent past.

314
00:17:14,311 --> 00:17:17,471
You can get out of jail 30 days early if you get the implant.

315
00:17:18,511 --> 00:17:19,751
It's part of our trial.

316
00:17:20,011 --> 00:17:22,271
I mean, that makes more sense.

317
00:17:23,231 --> 00:17:23,951
We're getting somewhere.

318
00:17:24,651 --> 00:17:29,511
And how do we regulate just, does science know how to regulate?

319
00:17:29,511 --> 00:17:32,511
I mean, I guess if it knows how to regulate between murder

320
00:17:33,031 --> 00:17:35,171
and yelling at a guy in Home Depot.

321
00:17:35,911 --> 00:17:36,171
Love this.

322
00:17:36,171 --> 00:17:38,791
I mean because you also wouldn't want like your testosterone

323
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,691
We're not measuring that

324
00:17:40,691 --> 00:17:41,571
No you're not

325
00:17:41,571 --> 00:17:44,551
Isn't higher testosterone

326
00:17:44,551 --> 00:17:45,611
More of an indicator

327
00:17:45,611 --> 00:17:47,971
For violence as well

328
00:17:47,971 --> 00:17:49,511
Yes

329
00:17:49,511 --> 00:17:51,331
That's why men are more violent than women

330
00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:52,491
Because they have more testosterone

331
00:17:52,491 --> 00:17:53,891
And then they're really high

332
00:17:53,891 --> 00:17:55,411
That's why like

333
00:17:55,411 --> 00:17:58,631
And steroids

334
00:17:58,631 --> 00:18:01,871
Make you really angry

335
00:18:01,871 --> 00:18:02,731
Guys who are on gear

336
00:18:02,731 --> 00:18:04,911
They could just get angry

337
00:18:04,911 --> 00:18:10,791
about like the smallest things at the drop of a hat yeah i think the testosterone tells the

338
00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:15,471
adrenaline to pull up but if we stop the adrenaline from pulling up the testosterone

339
00:18:15,471 --> 00:18:23,271
has no friend to go to the party with i uh i don't know if that's how it works but okay here's another

340
00:18:23,271 --> 00:18:33,491
idea though that another worry as as a lady let's say if i'm just regulating a man to be kind of

341
00:18:33,491 --> 00:18:41,351
middle of the road and just kind of like la-di-da all the time then it's like i could be with a

342
00:18:41,351 --> 00:18:46,371
murderer and i wouldn't even know it like i think you are a murderer or you're not

343
00:18:46,371 --> 00:18:51,071
at heart you're also probably gonna destroy a sex drive yeah

344
00:18:51,071 --> 00:18:56,371
well not everyone likes their pasta al dente

345
00:18:56,371 --> 00:19:10,811
elegant metaphor aside and i think that's i think in this situation that we're talking about

346
00:19:10,811 --> 00:19:15,791
most people do want their pasta al dente or even uncooked let's say

347
00:19:15,791 --> 00:19:20,491
i've been single a long time

348
00:19:20,491 --> 00:19:31,591
um all right well i could see it i i like the idea of working it more for like violent

349
00:19:31,591 --> 00:19:37,911
i mean although why are we releasing violent people back onto the streets but

350
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,351
well they were gonna get out anyway

351
00:19:39,351 --> 00:19:44,891
uh i i like it better for that

352
00:19:44,891 --> 00:19:54,231
maybe we just use it on inmates stop being violent in prison here you don't need your pasta

353
00:19:54,231 --> 00:20:00,371
yeah i know in prison it would solve a lot of problems probably we'll start in prison

354
00:20:00,371 --> 00:20:05,351
doesn't does it affect your brain is it like i mean i know that's that they don't mean like that

355
00:20:05,351 --> 00:20:10,611
like does it affect you like where if you have it removed is it like you come out of a fog

356
00:20:10,611 --> 00:20:13,531
if you don't have it anymore?

357
00:20:13,691 --> 00:20:16,011
Is it like the side effects of medication

358
00:20:16,011 --> 00:20:17,511
where you get kind of like foggy

359
00:20:17,511 --> 00:20:20,351
and like you're not really yourself?

360
00:20:20,571 --> 00:20:21,411
I don't think so.

361
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:26,491
All I can say is a perfect example.

362
00:20:26,751 --> 00:20:30,851
A few weeks ago, somebody cut me off.

363
00:20:31,551 --> 00:20:33,611
Like I was driving and I had a green light

364
00:20:33,611 --> 00:20:35,571
and they were waiting to turn right

365
00:20:35,571 --> 00:20:38,531
and they had a red light and they just went.

366
00:20:38,531 --> 00:20:41,371
and I like so you followed them to Home Depot

367
00:20:41,371 --> 00:20:44,511
still looking for me

368
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:50,111
um and I had a flash where I was like old Francis

369
00:20:50,111 --> 00:20:54,131
and then I thought to myself no and I went

370
00:20:54,131 --> 00:20:58,091
it's okay and nothing happened

371
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:01,491
I think it would be like that but forcibly

372
00:21:01,491 --> 00:21:07,311
but you were able to do that on your own

373
00:21:07,311 --> 00:21:12,071
Yeah. But most people don't try. Especially men. God, they want to make a scene.

374
00:21:12,711 --> 00:21:16,971
So why not embed something to help them try to solve this problem naturally instead of chemically?

375
00:21:17,831 --> 00:21:22,751
Well, that already exists. It's meditation. It's self-work. Introspection.

376
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:27,011
Big burly men don't want to do that.

377
00:21:29,511 --> 00:21:34,031
Yeah. Okay. What are we calling this?

378
00:21:34,031 --> 00:21:44,611
hmm rage cage cage your rage i like that cage your rage

379
00:21:44,611 --> 00:21:51,191
yeah come on baby cage my rage is that too much like one of those rage rooms

380
00:21:51,191 --> 00:21:54,251
that people think it

381
00:21:54,251 --> 00:22:08,371
okay so maybe joe just made a bunch of i was trying to think of a way to turn rage room into

382
00:22:08,371 --> 00:22:14,431
a name for this rage bedroom because it's where your rage goes to sleep

383
00:22:14,431 --> 00:22:20,931
what about why would we even need to come up with more ideas that's the one i mean that's it

384
00:22:20,931 --> 00:22:24,171
where your rage goes to sleep

385
00:22:24,171 --> 00:22:32,591
what were you going to say Francis?

386
00:22:32,811 --> 00:22:33,971
I was just going to keep it simple

387
00:22:33,971 --> 00:22:34,611
I was going to say

388
00:22:34,611 --> 00:22:36,651
flight

389
00:22:36,651 --> 00:22:38,811
flight?

390
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:39,411
yeah

391
00:22:39,411 --> 00:22:42,871
what are the other

392
00:22:42,871 --> 00:22:44,651
there's like four of the F's

393
00:22:44,651 --> 00:22:46,251
fawn and

394
00:22:46,251 --> 00:22:50,051
figgle

395
00:22:50,051 --> 00:22:52,131
fegals worth he's figling

396
00:22:52,131 --> 00:22:54,491
fondle

397
00:22:54,491 --> 00:22:58,151
now is there four

398
00:22:58,151 --> 00:22:59,531
i think there are four

399
00:22:59,531 --> 00:23:02,591
i think there are four

400
00:23:02,591 --> 00:23:05,691
um something with the word hormone

401
00:23:05,691 --> 00:23:06,371
no

402
00:23:06,371 --> 00:23:11,851
cortisol with s-o-u-l

403
00:23:11,851 --> 00:23:12,831
what a name

404
00:23:12,831 --> 00:23:14,591
bullshit

405
00:23:14,591 --> 00:23:16,731
sorry what

406
00:23:16,731 --> 00:23:19,591
cortisol like but soul

407
00:23:19,591 --> 00:23:21,031
like s-o-u-l

408
00:23:21,031 --> 00:23:22,471
core to solve

409
00:23:22,471 --> 00:23:24,291
core to solve

410
00:23:24,291 --> 00:23:26,251
you've solved the problem

411
00:23:26,251 --> 00:23:29,071
adrenalink

412
00:23:29,071 --> 00:23:31,511
adrenalink

413
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:35,771
that's good

414
00:23:35,771 --> 00:23:37,051
thanks

415
00:23:37,051 --> 00:23:38,911
epinephrine

416
00:23:38,911 --> 00:23:41,371
epinephrine

417
00:23:41,371 --> 00:23:43,511
adrenalax

418
00:23:43,511 --> 00:23:45,131
adren relax

419
00:23:45,131 --> 00:23:47,031
oh nice oh i get it now

420
00:23:47,031 --> 00:23:49,231
no not like laxative

421
00:23:49,231 --> 00:23:50,131
I get it now, I said.

422
00:23:50,391 --> 00:23:51,051
Like, relax.

423
00:23:52,091 --> 00:23:53,671
Don't do it when you want to go do it.

424
00:23:53,831 --> 00:23:53,991
Yeah.

425
00:23:56,451 --> 00:23:56,851
Okay.

426
00:23:57,351 --> 00:24:03,491
Well, I'm sure there are many, many women that would strap this to their men.

427
00:24:04,871 --> 00:24:07,611
The only problem that I, okay, another problem that just occurred to me,

428
00:24:07,991 --> 00:24:12,431
the kind of men that would let a woman do this are not the kind of men that are murdered.

429
00:24:13,691 --> 00:24:17,351
It's going to be the men that are just like, hell no, I'm not doing that.

430
00:24:17,351 --> 00:24:21,531
And that's, that is, by the way, that is a normal response.

431
00:24:21,651 --> 00:24:23,431
That's from a non-murderous man.

432
00:24:23,851 --> 00:24:27,011
If I were a dude, I'd be like, hell no, I'm not doing that.

433
00:24:27,231 --> 00:24:28,411
How about, think about it this way.

434
00:24:28,451 --> 00:24:32,631
This could be men with one strike where it's like, hey, Zach,

435
00:24:32,691 --> 00:24:34,491
I saw something I really didn't like in you.

436
00:24:34,591 --> 00:24:37,011
And I'm really not sure if I can move forward.

437
00:24:37,531 --> 00:24:43,091
If you're committed to trying out this cool new device with no currently

438
00:24:43,091 --> 00:24:46,651
known side effects, I will continue to date you.

439
00:24:46,651 --> 00:24:50,851
if you don't want to that's fine i understand i get it it's a big ass but you scared me the other

440
00:24:50,851 --> 00:25:00,851
day um okay but again as a like as a lady this i would just prefer to know whether a guy is

441
00:25:00,851 --> 00:25:06,971
psychotic or not and then leave if he is if i don't want to know that i've been

442
00:25:06,971 --> 00:25:13,891
dating as the dragon yeah like a medicated man because then if it ever malfunctions in any way

443
00:25:13,891 --> 00:25:21,911
you're screwed and then i'm surprised or is this a training tool it's helping zach to manage those

444
00:25:21,911 --> 00:25:26,611
or is it just like a water dam where it's just sort of like putting a stopper on all the rage

445
00:25:26,611 --> 00:25:29,631
until it finally spills over when he's off the mess the slogan is

446
00:25:29,631 --> 00:25:39,231
these are things to think about well not every product is perfect but every product has a buyer

447
00:25:39,231 --> 00:25:43,451
well again i do think actually that's commercialism

448
00:25:43,451 --> 00:25:47,671
aside from the violation of people's personal

449
00:25:47,671 --> 00:25:52,371
rights uh i do think geez let's keep you off the product launch

450
00:25:52,371 --> 00:25:54,551
this is not the direction okay

451
00:25:54,551 --> 00:25:58,591
uh i

452
00:25:58,591 --> 00:26:07,351
i would say it will prisons would probably like it i think it would stop a lot of

453
00:26:07,351 --> 00:26:10,271
needless infighting in the prisons.

454
00:26:10,651 --> 00:26:10,931
Shanking.

455
00:26:11,211 --> 00:26:12,491
God, stop the shanking.

456
00:26:13,871 --> 00:26:17,311
Yeah, or just even like the political drama.

457
00:26:18,111 --> 00:26:20,451
Yeah, stop separating by race.

458
00:26:20,651 --> 00:26:20,911
Yeah.

459
00:26:21,051 --> 00:26:21,531
Stupid.

460
00:26:21,891 --> 00:26:24,931
There's enough, yeah, there's enough of that on the outside.

461
00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:25,651
Separate by hobbies.

462
00:26:26,111 --> 00:26:26,551
Yeah.

463
00:26:27,431 --> 00:26:32,131
Separate by who likes to be in the yard and who likes to be inside doing checkers.

464
00:26:32,351 --> 00:26:32,791
Yes.

465
00:26:33,851 --> 00:26:35,291
We should go to prisons and talk.

466
00:26:36,371 --> 00:26:37,031
Thank you.

467
00:26:37,031 --> 00:26:39,751
I have been saying that for years.

468
00:26:40,431 --> 00:26:44,111
And I think we finally have a real,

469
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:46,031
we have a real plan now.

470
00:26:46,471 --> 00:26:46,991
Summer,

471
00:26:47,151 --> 00:26:51,451
the very fine friends are going on tour to prisons across America.

472
00:26:51,891 --> 00:26:52,731
We can probably get paid.

473
00:26:53,571 --> 00:26:53,851
Yeah.

474
00:26:54,891 --> 00:26:56,891
Can you imagine the two of us?

475
00:26:57,391 --> 00:26:57,871
Hey,

476
00:26:58,011 --> 00:26:58,471
prisoners,

477
00:26:58,971 --> 00:27:00,031
we're your special guests.

478
00:27:00,931 --> 00:27:06,051
We're going to do live pod here from 10th city.

479
00:27:07,031 --> 00:27:10,891
Please put your phones away that you're not supposed to have.

480
00:27:11,031 --> 00:27:12,511
Oh, put your penis away.

481
00:27:12,851 --> 00:27:14,851
Not now.

482
00:27:16,851 --> 00:27:17,371
Yeah.

483
00:27:17,851 --> 00:27:20,231
Well, I do think it would work in that scenario.

484
00:27:22,331 --> 00:27:27,891
And I think there would be people who use it.

485
00:27:27,891 --> 00:27:33,491
I wonder if people would like deliberately get themselves mad just to get the hit of the drug.

486
00:27:33,951 --> 00:27:36,091
No, it's like Narcan.

487
00:27:37,031 --> 00:27:38,271
It doesn't feel good.

488
00:27:38,491 --> 00:27:40,871
It just stops the thing that feels bad.

489
00:27:42,591 --> 00:27:43,571
Narcan is like nothing.

490
00:27:44,451 --> 00:27:45,771
It just stops the...

491
00:27:45,771 --> 00:27:46,911
Yeah, it counteracts the hit.

492
00:27:48,591 --> 00:27:49,031
Hmm.

493
00:27:50,551 --> 00:27:51,031
Okay.

494
00:27:51,871 --> 00:27:53,091
I don't know what I thought it was.

495
00:27:53,091 --> 00:27:53,691
Am I having a bleach moment?

496
00:27:53,791 --> 00:27:54,771
I'm pretty sure that's true.

497
00:27:55,991 --> 00:27:58,131
Oh, by the way, drink bleach.

498
00:28:00,771 --> 00:28:01,791
You're going to kill me.

499
00:28:03,071 --> 00:28:03,891
Do you want to?

500
00:28:03,931 --> 00:28:04,931
And casually take Narcan.

501
00:28:05,091 --> 00:28:05,531
I don't care.

502
00:28:06,011 --> 00:28:06,651
Do whatever you want.

503
00:28:06,651 --> 00:28:08,091
If you could find it, hit it.

504
00:28:08,351 --> 00:28:08,531
Yeah.

505
00:28:11,551 --> 00:28:11,951
Okay.

506
00:28:12,171 --> 00:28:13,691
Well, Narcan aside.

507
00:28:14,851 --> 00:28:15,231
All right.

508
00:28:15,291 --> 00:28:16,211
Well, this...

509
00:28:16,211 --> 00:28:27,022
I can see yeah I can see this working prisons everywhere and then maybe if it a success Some people have it Some people have it Yeah All right well

510
00:28:27,022 --> 00:28:28,802
Okay, cool. Thanks for hearing me out.

511
00:28:28,942 --> 00:28:29,462
Yeah, sure.

512
00:28:29,842 --> 00:28:30,342
Thanks for...

513
00:28:30,342 --> 00:28:30,582
Well, thank you.

514
00:28:31,022 --> 00:28:32,982
Thanks for just...

515
00:28:32,982 --> 00:28:36,482
For two weeks in a row now, trying to stop women from getting murdered.

516
00:28:36,742 --> 00:28:38,102
I think it's International Women's Month.

517
00:28:39,262 --> 00:28:40,502
You're looking out for us, baby.

518
00:28:40,782 --> 00:28:41,142
Yeah.

519
00:28:41,782 --> 00:28:42,822
We appreciate it.

520
00:28:42,962 --> 00:28:44,142
Hey, I came from a woman.

521
00:28:45,722 --> 00:28:46,802
Yeah, you're one of those?

522
00:28:46,982 --> 00:28:55,322
that came from a woman yeah i know one of the few the proud yeah i don't know if which way i came

523
00:28:55,322 --> 00:29:03,022
though you don't know i don't know if i was through the sunroof or oh you know what i'm saying yeah

524
00:29:03,022 --> 00:29:10,942
when you said which way i was like i don't like through the butt i don't understand that

525
00:29:10,942 --> 00:29:15,782
well no i i i know joe that that was ridiculous that's why i was confused she

526
00:29:15,782 --> 00:29:17,762
It's me though, so anything could happen.

527
00:29:19,882 --> 00:29:20,562
Right.

528
00:29:20,722 --> 00:29:24,482
Well, I think that wraps up the invention of the week.

529
00:29:26,542 --> 00:29:28,702
It's time for our next segment.

530
00:29:30,222 --> 00:29:32,022
Pet Psychic.

531
00:29:34,622 --> 00:29:39,382
Now a look inside the minds of our very furry friends.

532
00:29:41,802 --> 00:29:44,122
Francis, do you want to explain how this works?

533
00:29:44,862 --> 00:29:45,302
Sure.

534
00:29:45,782 --> 00:29:46,402
Thank you.

535
00:29:49,022 --> 00:29:50,982
Pet Psychic is super interesting.

536
00:29:51,802 --> 00:30:10,322
It is a segment where obsessed and distraught pet owners seek clarity and knowing from the esteemed and powerful Madame la Miao, a pet psychic who can read pets' minds.

537
00:30:12,062 --> 00:30:12,402
Okay.

538
00:30:12,762 --> 00:30:12,962
Yeah.

539
00:30:12,962 --> 00:30:19,082
um well without further ado here is that's like

540
00:30:19,082 --> 00:30:28,242
hi hi i i'm i'm i never thought i'd do anything like this do you have appointment

541
00:30:28,242 --> 00:30:34,302
oh i'm sorry i i said on the door it said walk-ins welcome so i just welcome but not guaranteed

542
00:30:34,302 --> 00:30:41,062
let me check my calendar oh thank you so much madam i'm available sit down oh thank you so much

543
00:30:41,062 --> 00:30:41,902
thank you

544
00:30:41,902 --> 00:30:45,122
this is the weirdest thing

545
00:30:45,122 --> 00:30:47,742
my lizard

546
00:30:47,742 --> 00:30:48,322
Travis

547
00:30:48,322 --> 00:30:50,302
is just

548
00:30:50,302 --> 00:30:52,522
Travis my lizard

549
00:30:52,522 --> 00:30:55,362
he's just

550
00:30:55,362 --> 00:30:57,622
he's just not

551
00:30:57,622 --> 00:30:59,562
not been himself lately

552
00:30:59,562 --> 00:31:01,022
he says to change a cologne

553
00:31:01,022 --> 00:31:02,042
immediately

554
00:31:02,042 --> 00:31:04,642
he uses the word reek

555
00:31:04,642 --> 00:31:06,042
what Travis

556
00:31:06,042 --> 00:31:07,602
distracting reek

557
00:31:07,602 --> 00:31:09,062
Travis is creative type

558
00:31:09,062 --> 00:31:12,722
and he cannot be creative around your stanch.

559
00:31:13,682 --> 00:31:17,522
Travis, Travis, hey, put those big eyes on me, buddy.

560
00:31:18,122 --> 00:31:19,042
Put those big eyes on me.

561
00:31:19,362 --> 00:31:20,502
Is this true about my cologne?

562
00:31:21,122 --> 00:31:21,982
You don't like it?

563
00:31:22,002 --> 00:31:23,042
You don't like the way I smell?

564
00:31:24,322 --> 00:31:25,862
Is that why you've been...

565
00:31:25,862 --> 00:31:26,602
Silly question.

566
00:31:26,762 --> 00:31:27,702
Why are you asking him?

567
00:31:28,622 --> 00:31:32,022
Well, because I thought I could...

568
00:31:32,022 --> 00:31:34,642
I always thought Travis and I had like a real connection.

569
00:31:36,262 --> 00:31:37,982
You may ask three questions.

570
00:31:39,062 --> 00:31:54,362
Okay, so I bought Travis a lady lizard because I thought he wanted companionship.

571
00:31:55,302 --> 00:32:01,162
And then the next day, the lady lizard was dead in the cage.

572
00:32:04,642 --> 00:32:07,142
Can you ask Travis what happened?

573
00:32:07,142 --> 00:32:09,142
He says he's not nothing about it.

574
00:32:10,602 --> 00:32:15,382
Travis says, no, he was not home at time of murder.

575
00:32:16,302 --> 00:32:22,882
Travis says he was distraught and laid with body for several hours in various positions afterward.

576
00:32:24,482 --> 00:32:25,502
Oh, Travis.

577
00:32:25,762 --> 00:32:27,222
He asks you bring body back.

578
00:32:27,942 --> 00:32:29,262
He is, quote, not done.

579
00:32:31,422 --> 00:32:31,982
Okay.

580
00:32:31,982 --> 00:32:37,962
Okay. I'm sorry, Travis, the lady lizard's been buried in the backyard.

581
00:32:39,142 --> 00:32:41,542
I don't know if I can bring...

582
00:32:41,542 --> 00:32:42,762
He says not the deal breaker.

583
00:32:45,342 --> 00:32:49,582
Okay. My third question is,

584
00:32:49,582 --> 00:32:55,382
who pierced your tongue, Travis?

585
00:32:56,682 --> 00:33:01,282
I didn't get you that tongue piercing. Where did that come from?

586
00:33:02,962 --> 00:33:05,802
Travis is saying he hid it during adoption.

587
00:33:09,362 --> 00:33:11,122
A secret tongue piercing.

588
00:33:11,422 --> 00:33:14,342
He was worried you would judge him and not take him home.

589
00:33:16,102 --> 00:33:18,342
I think that's actually probably accurate.

590
00:33:18,462 --> 00:33:19,582
I judged him once I saw it.

591
00:33:19,622 --> 00:33:22,602
I thought I didn't realize what a crazy lizard I had.

592
00:33:22,602 --> 00:33:25,042
I probably wouldn't have adopted him.

593
00:33:26,422 --> 00:33:28,542
See, some secrets are good.

594
00:33:29,162 --> 00:33:30,602
Well, thank you so much.

595
00:33:30,602 --> 00:33:37,322
thank you so much madam you get three more questions wait i get to keep going with my

596
00:33:37,322 --> 00:33:48,222
travis questions yes or can i ask you about a different pet yes more money oh yeah of course

597
00:33:48,222 --> 00:33:59,182
money's money's no object no object good thank you thank you um i i also have um i also have a

598
00:33:59,182 --> 00:34:00,242
a cat.

599
00:34:01,742 --> 00:34:03,522
Different accent.

600
00:34:03,822 --> 00:34:04,582
Tell me about your cat.

601
00:34:05,222 --> 00:34:05,782
Whoa, madam.

602
00:34:07,162 --> 00:34:07,722
Whoa.

603
00:34:08,822 --> 00:34:11,262
That was impressive. You switched real quick.

604
00:34:11,482 --> 00:34:12,802
Yes, it just comes to me.

605
00:34:13,542 --> 00:34:14,502
My cat...

606
00:34:14,502 --> 00:34:18,722
My cat's name is Uta.

607
00:34:20,442 --> 00:34:22,242
And she's just...

608
00:34:22,242 --> 00:34:25,402
She's been going out a lot at night.

609
00:34:25,402 --> 00:34:25,842
Yeah.

610
00:34:26,702 --> 00:34:27,342
And I don't know.

611
00:34:27,342 --> 00:34:31,482
I mean, she always comes back within a day or two.

612
00:34:31,602 --> 00:34:32,362
Yeah, yeah.

613
00:34:32,502 --> 00:34:33,722
But I want to know what she's doing.

614
00:34:33,922 --> 00:34:34,622
You know what she's up to?

615
00:34:34,882 --> 00:34:35,162
Yeah.

616
00:34:35,262 --> 00:34:35,722
Hand her to me.

617
00:34:36,162 --> 00:34:37,142
You're a little thing.

618
00:34:38,342 --> 00:34:39,502
Oh, yes.

619
00:34:39,982 --> 00:34:41,322
Uta, talk to me.

620
00:34:41,962 --> 00:34:42,922
Where are you going?

621
00:34:43,502 --> 00:34:44,322
And why?

622
00:34:46,642 --> 00:34:50,042
Uta says you have an ex-husband named Mark.

623
00:34:51,042 --> 00:34:51,442
Yeah.

624
00:34:52,082 --> 00:34:53,602
She's very fond of Mark.

625
00:34:54,202 --> 00:34:54,542
What?

626
00:34:54,962 --> 00:34:56,462
Mark leaves the door open.

627
00:34:57,102 --> 00:34:58,002
Uta goes to Mark.

628
00:34:58,562 --> 00:35:00,042
Magical, wonderful evening.

629
00:35:00,662 --> 00:35:01,182
Uta!

630
00:35:03,102 --> 00:35:03,662
Uta!

631
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:06,082
She's telling you, so you shouldn't be mad.

632
00:35:06,942 --> 00:35:08,562
No, I am mad.

633
00:35:08,642 --> 00:35:10,742
You were my comfort after Mark left.

634
00:35:11,502 --> 00:35:13,802
I can't believe you're choosing Mark.

635
00:35:14,082 --> 00:35:15,622
She says you switched her food.

636
00:35:16,682 --> 00:35:17,882
Yeah, I'm sorry.

637
00:35:18,042 --> 00:35:19,302
She was getting a little hippie.

638
00:35:19,402 --> 00:35:20,702
Uta, you were getting hippie.

639
00:35:20,702 --> 00:35:23,622
I had to give you better food.

640
00:35:24,682 --> 00:35:25,282
Okay?

641
00:35:25,282 --> 00:35:28,222
it's for your own good

642
00:35:28,222 --> 00:35:30,962
she says she's gonna keep going to mark

643
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:33,042
she says mark has a new girl

644
00:35:33,042 --> 00:35:34,402
a blonde

645
00:35:34,402 --> 00:35:35,502
what no

646
00:35:35,502 --> 00:35:36,642
yeah her name's susan

647
00:35:36,642 --> 00:35:39,142
wait susan

648
00:35:39,142 --> 00:35:42,402
ask ask you if it's susan from the bank

649
00:35:42,402 --> 00:35:44,602
yes it is

650
00:35:44,602 --> 00:35:49,202
here take her

651
00:35:49,202 --> 00:35:51,062
i don't even want her anymore

652
00:35:51,062 --> 00:35:52,622
she'll bring you comfort in your time of need

653
00:35:52,622 --> 00:35:54,742
i don't even want her anymore

654
00:35:54,742 --> 00:35:57,202
Go back to Mark, Uta

655
00:35:57,202 --> 00:35:58,382
She says she will

656
00:35:58,382 --> 00:36:01,402
Give me comfort or go back to Mark

657
00:36:01,402 --> 00:36:02,882
Go back to Mark

658
00:36:02,882 --> 00:36:04,762
Get out of here

659
00:36:04,762 --> 00:36:06,662
You betrayed me

660
00:36:06,662 --> 00:36:08,222
Oh, I'm sorry

661
00:36:08,222 --> 00:36:09,882
Listen, it's my job to be honest

662
00:36:09,882 --> 00:36:11,902
Oh, you did nothing wrong

663
00:36:11,902 --> 00:36:12,802
Thank you so much

664
00:36:12,802 --> 00:36:14,622
Uta, this is Uta's fault

665
00:36:14,622 --> 00:36:15,382
She's gone now

666
00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:16,362
Do you have any other pets?

667
00:36:18,002 --> 00:36:18,522
Yeah

668
00:36:18,522 --> 00:36:22,922
I have this ant farm

669
00:36:22,922 --> 00:36:29,942
can you ask them what they think they're building

670
00:36:29,942 --> 00:36:39,102
in the ant farm where do they think they're tunneling to hold on let me find him oh madam

671
00:36:39,102 --> 00:36:50,082
they think they're building an ant farm but though i thought it'd be more interesting than

672
00:36:50,082 --> 00:36:55,822
that well they don't they're very small they don't know i know that's why i'm wondering they're

673
00:36:55,822 --> 00:36:59,622
building all these tunnels it's like do they think they're getting somewhere but they realize it's

674
00:36:59,622 --> 00:37:09,682
just futile and for my pleasure no for all they know they're in a hole in how do they think they're

675
00:37:09,682 --> 00:37:13,442
in a hole where do they think they are you want me to ask that yeah that's what i want to know hold

676
00:37:13,442 --> 00:37:21,802
on getting some mixed signals one of them thinks they're in tucson one of them thinks they're in

677
00:37:21,802 --> 00:37:29,042
oh my god iowa and another one thinks oh that's so sad what i can't say it no just tell me i gotta

678
00:37:29,042 --> 00:37:41,002
no no no tell me okay well one of them one of them thinks they're in the corpse of a long dead queen

679
00:37:41,002 --> 00:37:49,642
oh no oh what a disappointment thought he's living in royalty yeah bummer

680
00:37:49,642 --> 00:37:53,962
oh that is a bummer yeah

681
00:37:53,962 --> 00:37:59,262
can i ask you about my goldfish yes

682
00:37:59,262 --> 00:38:05,242
i'm you're so impressive madam i just want to say that right now it just comes to me

683
00:38:05,242 --> 00:38:05,682
Mm-hmm.

684
00:38:06,622 --> 00:38:07,902
Money, please.

685
00:38:07,962 --> 00:38:09,002
Oh, of course, of course.

686
00:38:10,442 --> 00:38:10,922
Ooh.

687
00:38:14,662 --> 00:38:15,642
My goldfish?

688
00:38:17,202 --> 00:38:17,602
Sebastian?

689
00:38:19,102 --> 00:38:20,122
Yearns for the toilet.

690
00:38:20,962 --> 00:38:21,382
No!

691
00:38:22,242 --> 00:38:23,982
That's not even what I was going to ask.

692
00:38:24,582 --> 00:38:25,502
But no, he...

693
00:38:25,502 --> 00:38:26,482
He's screaming it.

694
00:38:26,722 --> 00:38:27,622
No, he wants...

695
00:38:27,622 --> 00:38:28,522
He wants out of here?

696
00:38:28,682 --> 00:38:30,062
He's so unhappy.

697
00:38:30,282 --> 00:38:31,462
He spins in a bowl.

698
00:38:31,862 --> 00:38:32,822
And he goes nowhere.

699
00:38:33,022 --> 00:38:34,102
Then he goes the other direction.

700
00:38:34,242 --> 00:38:35,062
And he goes nowhere.

701
00:38:35,242 --> 00:38:37,282
You're gone all day

702
00:38:37,282 --> 00:38:39,062
Oh no

703
00:38:39,062 --> 00:38:41,302
That's, oh, I was gonna ask

704
00:38:41,302 --> 00:38:42,722
Just

705
00:38:42,722 --> 00:38:44,982
Does he ever

706
00:38:44,982 --> 00:38:47,142
Has he ever seen me naked?

707
00:38:48,242 --> 00:38:50,022
But that's so much worse

708
00:38:50,022 --> 00:38:55,422
He says, why do you think I yearn for the bull?

709
00:38:55,902 --> 00:38:57,062
No, Sebastian

710
00:38:57,062 --> 00:38:58,502
Oh no

711
00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,682
Oh no, that's the worst

712
00:39:01,682 --> 00:39:04,282
Oh, that's the worst news

713
00:39:04,282 --> 00:39:08,062
If you could go back in time, he would be unselected at the carnival.

714
00:39:08,542 --> 00:39:10,902
He saw you coming and he just knew.

715
00:39:11,502 --> 00:39:16,982
He knew that I'd look terrible naked and that that would make him long for the toilet.

716
00:39:17,162 --> 00:39:20,762
He tried to drown himself by jumping out of water, but you caught him.

717
00:39:21,562 --> 00:39:24,682
I thought he was just so excited to see me.

718
00:39:25,102 --> 00:39:27,702
Like when a dog gets really excited to see its owner.

719
00:39:28,162 --> 00:39:28,462
Nope.

720
00:39:29,362 --> 00:39:29,762
Oh.

721
00:39:30,662 --> 00:39:31,702
Tough break, kid.

722
00:39:32,542 --> 00:39:33,862
Oh my God.

723
00:39:34,282 --> 00:39:35,782
I got a lot of pets.

724
00:39:36,102 --> 00:39:36,442
I know.

725
00:39:36,602 --> 00:39:37,922
Well, I have...

726
00:39:37,922 --> 00:39:39,842
I don't know if you can...

727
00:39:39,842 --> 00:39:40,502
I have one more.

728
00:39:40,962 --> 00:39:41,862
I don't know if you have this...

729
00:39:41,862 --> 00:39:42,722
If you can cross this.

730
00:39:43,782 --> 00:39:44,902
I'm getting so tired.

731
00:39:45,182 --> 00:39:45,402
I know.

732
00:39:45,442 --> 00:39:45,982
I'm so sorry.

733
00:39:46,102 --> 00:39:46,702
If you...

734
00:39:46,702 --> 00:39:48,462
This might even be out of your purview.

735
00:39:48,582 --> 00:39:49,122
I'm not sure.

736
00:39:49,322 --> 00:39:49,822
I don't know.

737
00:39:50,062 --> 00:39:50,722
Let's do it.

738
00:39:50,962 --> 00:39:51,282
Okay.

739
00:39:51,542 --> 00:39:52,722
Maybe a little money first.

740
00:39:52,982 --> 00:39:53,962
It's actually my child.

741
00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:54,902
Maybe some money first.

742
00:39:54,902 --> 00:39:55,062
Oh, yeah.

743
00:39:59,142 --> 00:40:00,382
It's my child, Doug.

744
00:40:00,722 --> 00:40:02,002
Tell me about Doug.

745
00:40:02,362 --> 00:40:04,462
Well, he won't stop crying.

746
00:40:07,722 --> 00:40:08,642
He's 23.

747
00:40:09,362 --> 00:40:10,162
Is that the question?

748
00:40:10,662 --> 00:40:11,862
He won't stop crying.

749
00:40:12,502 --> 00:40:15,982
Doug, can you just find out what the hell's wrong with Doug?

750
00:40:17,342 --> 00:40:19,682
Are you going to pick me up like you did with the other ones?

751
00:40:20,142 --> 00:40:21,302
Doug, be nice.

752
00:40:21,302 --> 00:40:22,302
Are you willing?

753
00:40:23,742 --> 00:40:24,262
Fine.

754
00:40:27,122 --> 00:40:28,122
Don't struggle.

755
00:40:29,362 --> 00:40:31,922
That feels really good on my calves, actually.

756
00:40:32,002 --> 00:40:33,162
You don't need to stretch, Doug.

757
00:40:37,102 --> 00:40:39,702
I have the answer.

758
00:40:41,622 --> 00:40:43,482
So tell me, what's wrong with Doug?

759
00:40:43,542 --> 00:40:44,502
Why won't he stop crying?

760
00:40:46,182 --> 00:40:48,302
Doug has a sub-lachrymal tumor.

761
00:40:49,282 --> 00:40:54,282
It's gone undiagnosed because you refused to pay the copay for the annual doctor's appointments.

762
00:40:55,482 --> 00:40:57,142
That is why he cries.

763
00:40:57,722 --> 00:41:00,582
Oh, well, I guess it's good to know.

764
00:41:00,582 --> 00:41:03,122
I'm not going to pay that co-pay

765
00:41:03,122 --> 00:41:05,502
You spend all your money on

766
00:41:05,502 --> 00:41:06,542
Psychics

767
00:41:06,542 --> 00:41:08,082
I respect that

768
00:41:08,082 --> 00:41:11,022
Hey, at least now I know that I've got to change my perfume

769
00:41:11,022 --> 00:41:12,682
For Jeremy

770
00:41:12,682 --> 00:41:14,282
Or for Travis, rather

771
00:41:14,282 --> 00:41:16,602
Sorry, wrong

772
00:41:16,602 --> 00:41:18,222
Wrong pet

773
00:41:18,222 --> 00:41:21,882
I'm going to be the first person ever to die of a sub-lacrimal tumor

774
00:41:21,882 --> 00:41:23,542
Yeah

775
00:41:23,542 --> 00:41:25,042
Well

776
00:41:25,042 --> 00:41:27,742
Hey, Doug, you always wanted to be famous for something

777
00:41:27,742 --> 00:41:28,642
No

778
00:41:28,642 --> 00:41:34,002
now I'm crying from laughter at that joke you just made

779
00:41:34,002 --> 00:41:34,762
mom

780
00:41:34,762 --> 00:41:37,542
you guys

781
00:41:37,542 --> 00:41:40,142
oh

782
00:41:40,142 --> 00:41:41,062
oh Madame LaMeow

783
00:41:41,062 --> 00:41:43,822
well that was very

784
00:41:43,822 --> 00:41:44,442
successful

785
00:41:44,442 --> 00:41:47,822
I think that wraps up

786
00:41:47,822 --> 00:41:49,782
Pet Psychic

787
00:41:49,782 --> 00:41:51,842
this has been

788
00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:54,142
another successful edition of

789
00:41:54,142 --> 00:41:55,342
Madame LaMeow

790
00:41:55,342 --> 00:41:56,602
Pet Psychic

791
00:41:58,642 --> 00:42:08,362
Sorry, that was just the stress of all the pets' difficulties melting away.

792
00:42:08,542 --> 00:42:11,602
One time I forgot I had a goldfish and I went on vacation and came back and I was dead.

793
00:42:13,622 --> 00:42:13,902
Yeah.

794
00:42:14,082 --> 00:42:15,382
Well, it happens.

795
00:42:16,842 --> 00:42:18,522
Sometimes we forget we own things.

796
00:42:20,442 --> 00:42:20,842
Yeah.

797
00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:22,022
Woof.

798
00:42:22,262 --> 00:42:22,722
What a scent.

799
00:42:23,582 --> 00:42:23,782
Hmm.

800
00:42:25,042 --> 00:42:25,322
Well.

801
00:42:27,022 --> 00:42:38,353
Thanks for letting me get that out Yeah sure No problem That why it time now though for one final segment the big question

802
00:42:38,353 --> 00:42:45,153
the question is very big oh no are you okay francis

803
00:42:45,153 --> 00:42:52,733
yeah i'm okay it's just i just realized in our last segment i'm pissed off that this is my question

804
00:42:52,733 --> 00:42:58,993
ago. Oh no. Are we have, we have overlapping kind of a tiny, tiny bit. Okay. Well, this

805
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:02,913
has all been like a very themed episode. I feel like it's, we've had a lot of like therapy

806
00:43:02,913 --> 00:43:08,853
themes throughout all of this. Okay. So if it's, if it feels samey, well it's, it's all

807
00:43:08,853 --> 00:43:18,873
right. Okay. We're packaging this up. Okay. I want to challenge you to invent a new accent.

808
00:43:18,873 --> 00:43:24,953
okay and talk to me in it

809
00:43:26,093 --> 00:43:37,433
okay the thing is whenever i do accents

810
00:43:37,433 --> 00:43:43,693
i lose them after a few lines so i don't know if that's going to happen if i make up one

811
00:43:43,693 --> 00:43:50,853
well i guess we'll find out baby you're gonna lose your baby i might lose my baby i might i

812
00:43:50,853 --> 00:43:57,253
i just said we forget we have things sometimes you said we forget we own things yeah well

813
00:43:57,253 --> 00:44:03,133
you kind of own a baby you think you own a baby yeah big question alert

814
00:44:03,133 --> 00:44:05,893
all right

815
00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:10,573
all right here we're all right i'm gonna try

816
00:44:10,573 --> 00:44:23,273
hey frances how's it going not bad man where you been i've been here and there just bowling mostly

817
00:44:23,273 --> 00:44:29,853
bowling bowling oh i don't know people still did that oh i bowl all the time

818
00:44:31,693 --> 00:44:34,293
i bowl every day

819
00:44:34,293 --> 00:44:42,373
every day is bowling day for me well do you think you could take a day off bowling because a couple

820
00:44:42,373 --> 00:44:47,533
of friends and i rented a pontoon oh i already bowled today so i can pontoon and still bowl

821
00:44:47,533 --> 00:44:57,573
oh that's that's fantastic do we need to pick you up no no i i i come equipped i come equipped with

822
00:44:57,573 --> 00:44:58,513
my own

823
00:44:58,513 --> 00:45:01,213
little

824
00:45:01,213 --> 00:45:02,113
Vespa.

825
00:45:03,513 --> 00:45:05,553
Oh, okay. You can actually ride that right on the

826
00:45:05,553 --> 00:45:07,453
boat. I'm a little

827
00:45:07,453 --> 00:45:09,633
worried about your social skills, though. Last time you screamed

828
00:45:09,633 --> 00:45:11,133
in three people's faces. Do you think

829
00:45:11,133 --> 00:45:12,593
you could keep it chill?

830
00:45:13,153 --> 00:45:15,593
Hey, who's chill but me?

831
00:45:15,593 --> 00:45:16,873
I am chill.

832
00:45:17,313 --> 00:45:18,913
What are you talking about?

833
00:45:19,273 --> 00:45:21,593
Look, who's cooler than me? Look at my sideburns.

834
00:45:22,153 --> 00:45:23,133
So cool.

835
00:45:23,293 --> 00:45:25,513
So cool. Yep. Yeah, I was immediately

836
00:45:25,513 --> 00:45:27,173
drawing to you. They're three feet long.

837
00:45:27,173 --> 00:45:29,873
I didn't know you could do that

838
00:45:29,873 --> 00:45:30,733
Physically amazing

839
00:45:30,733 --> 00:45:32,693
They're still attached to my face

840
00:45:32,693 --> 00:45:34,133
I don't know how you do it

841
00:45:34,133 --> 00:45:35,073
It's amazing

842
00:45:35,073 --> 00:45:37,373
Well cool

843
00:45:37,373 --> 00:45:38,533
Listen afterwards

844
00:45:38,533 --> 00:45:40,313
I hate to ask this but

845
00:45:40,313 --> 00:45:43,193
Could you stay the night?

846
00:45:44,293 --> 00:45:45,813
Oh yeah of course man

847
00:45:45,813 --> 00:45:47,313
I don't want to have a home anyway

848
00:45:47,313 --> 00:45:48,333
Oh

849
00:45:48,333 --> 00:45:51,793
Not in a sad way

850
00:45:51,793 --> 00:45:53,333
In a fun way

851
00:45:53,333 --> 00:45:55,693
In a fun way

852
00:45:55,693 --> 00:45:58,153
I live moment to moment.

853
00:45:59,453 --> 00:46:01,173
You don't have a house and you go bowling?

854
00:46:01,693 --> 00:46:02,133
Yeah.

855
00:46:04,153 --> 00:46:05,453
And I have a Vespa.

856
00:46:05,573 --> 00:46:06,433
I'm fun.

857
00:46:07,693 --> 00:46:09,793
It's kind of like an RV if you never get off.

858
00:46:11,033 --> 00:46:11,513
Exactly.

859
00:46:12,973 --> 00:46:15,893
Well, would you share the bed with me?

860
00:46:15,933 --> 00:46:17,013
Because I get a little lonely.

861
00:46:18,913 --> 00:46:20,753
Brother, of course.

862
00:46:21,593 --> 00:46:23,393
What am I about body warmth?

863
00:46:23,393 --> 00:46:28,833
and a body to keep you not lonely.

864
00:46:30,573 --> 00:46:32,973
Yeah, and I like to tell jokes late into the night and laugh.

865
00:46:33,153 --> 00:46:33,633
Are you willing?

866
00:46:34,133 --> 00:46:36,673
Are you kidding who loves to laugh more than me?

867
00:46:36,753 --> 00:46:37,773
Listen to me laugh.

868
00:46:37,773 --> 00:46:43,893
I have a great laugh.

869
00:46:45,093 --> 00:46:50,033
Will you wrap your sideburns around me as we sleep for safety?

870
00:46:50,773 --> 00:46:51,533
Of course.

871
00:46:51,533 --> 00:46:54,313
I love to keep you so warm

872
00:46:54,313 --> 00:46:56,193
So warm

873
00:46:56,193 --> 00:46:58,453
So not lonely and just laughing

874
00:46:58,453 --> 00:46:59,053
All night

875
00:46:59,053 --> 00:47:01,913
Oh this

876
00:47:01,913 --> 00:47:02,993
I'm so pleased

877
00:47:02,993 --> 00:47:07,093
In the morning I'd like to cook you breakfast

878
00:47:07,093 --> 00:47:08,013
Oh

879
00:47:08,013 --> 00:47:10,033
Bangers and mash

880
00:47:10,033 --> 00:47:12,173
Sure

881
00:47:12,173 --> 00:47:13,633
I'll get the recipe

882
00:47:13,633 --> 00:47:15,093
Um

883
00:47:15,093 --> 00:47:18,093
And then I can feed you by hand

884
00:47:18,093 --> 00:47:19,853
I love it

885
00:47:19,853 --> 00:47:23,313
your fingers do not wash your hands

886
00:47:23,313 --> 00:47:25,433
I like them dirty

887
00:47:25,433 --> 00:47:27,913
when they are feeding me

888
00:47:27,913 --> 00:47:33,253
it's another fun thing about me

889
00:47:33,253 --> 00:47:35,553
I think it strengthens the immune system

890
00:47:35,553 --> 00:47:36,033
frankly

891
00:47:36,033 --> 00:47:37,233
so do I

892
00:47:37,233 --> 00:47:38,973
that's why I'm never sick

893
00:47:38,973 --> 00:47:40,853
how deep can I go

894
00:47:40,853 --> 00:47:43,533
wrist deep

895
00:47:43,533 --> 00:47:44,273
wow

896
00:47:44,273 --> 00:47:48,673
I have trained my jaw

897
00:47:48,673 --> 00:47:50,673
to unhinge like a snake.

898
00:47:53,353 --> 00:47:54,553
God, you're so interesting.

899
00:47:54,793 --> 00:47:56,633
I knew the first day I saw you at work

900
00:47:56,633 --> 00:47:58,713
that we were going to be such good friends.

901
00:47:59,093 --> 00:48:00,693
Oh, best of friends.

902
00:48:00,853 --> 00:48:01,573
Work friends.

903
00:48:02,253 --> 00:48:03,153
Life friends.

904
00:48:04,813 --> 00:48:06,693
And I thought it was so interesting that you rode your

905
00:48:06,693 --> 00:48:08,093
Vespa into the office building.

906
00:48:08,393 --> 00:48:10,713
Nothing funnier than a car inside.

907
00:48:11,333 --> 00:48:12,033
Am I right?

908
00:48:12,333 --> 00:48:13,973
You're right. And no helmet.

909
00:48:13,973 --> 00:48:15,073
Oh, why?

910
00:48:15,573 --> 00:48:17,973
Helmet is bad

911
00:48:17,973 --> 00:48:20,413
for feeling risky.

912
00:48:23,313 --> 00:48:25,473
So, I've never been kissed.

913
00:48:28,193 --> 00:48:29,793
Pucker up, bro.

914
00:48:30,113 --> 00:48:31,153
Really? You mean it?

915
00:48:31,233 --> 00:48:31,973
I mean it.

916
00:48:31,973 --> 00:48:33,373
What else is bros for

917
00:48:33,373 --> 00:48:35,973
besides keeping bros warm

918
00:48:36,533 --> 00:48:38,793
and not lonely and kissing?

919
00:48:39,153 --> 00:48:40,033
How deep can I go?

920
00:48:40,853 --> 00:48:41,353
Wrist.

921
00:48:42,233 --> 00:48:43,333
Wrist deep,

922
00:48:43,713 --> 00:48:45,573
which is a.k.a.

923
00:48:46,193 --> 00:48:47,033
back of tongue.

924
00:48:47,373 --> 00:48:47,753
Okay.

925
00:48:47,973 --> 00:48:58,453
wow what a man worth it right you see what the hype was all about you don't need a home

926
00:48:58,453 --> 00:49:04,813
look at you exactly you could charge for this oh you'll get it for free

927
00:49:04,813 --> 00:49:14,213
can i ask you a question when you drive on your vespa um why do you hold your sideburns down i

928
00:49:14,213 --> 00:49:16,133
I think it would look so good if they blew in the breeze.

929
00:49:17,393 --> 00:49:20,833
Oh, I don't want to be showing off my sideburns.

930
00:49:20,833 --> 00:49:21,433
You gotta.

931
00:49:22,153 --> 00:49:26,113
Oh, they can whip in the wind?

932
00:49:26,793 --> 00:49:27,833
You're all right.

933
00:49:27,853 --> 00:49:30,613
If you think that would not make me giant, show off.

934
00:49:31,233 --> 00:49:32,793
I think that's how you get discovered.

935
00:49:34,293 --> 00:49:35,833
Hop on the back with me.

936
00:49:35,913 --> 00:49:36,893
Oh, my God.

937
00:49:37,173 --> 00:49:38,713
Ride around in Vespa.

938
00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:39,333
I'm on.

939
00:49:39,553 --> 00:49:40,053
No helmet.

940
00:49:40,473 --> 00:49:41,273
Oh, no helmet.

941
00:49:41,613 --> 00:49:41,713
Just like you.

942
00:49:41,873 --> 00:49:43,553
Yeah, you feel alive, right?

943
00:49:43,673 --> 00:49:44,473
Yes, I do.

944
00:49:44,653 --> 00:49:45,013
Oh.

945
00:49:45,413 --> 00:49:46,053
Let's go.

946
00:49:46,513 --> 00:49:47,073
Let's go.

947
00:49:47,573 --> 00:49:49,573
Let's go drive in that bank.

948
00:49:50,493 --> 00:49:52,073
Yeah, and let your sideburns off.

949
00:49:52,213 --> 00:49:54,053
Oh, here we come.

950
00:49:54,133 --> 00:49:55,413
Through a revolving door.

951
00:49:55,413 --> 00:49:56,153
Oh, my God.

952
00:49:56,353 --> 00:49:56,953
Oh, my God.

953
00:49:57,133 --> 00:49:59,053
It's harder in the revolving door.

954
00:49:59,173 --> 00:49:59,593
That's okay.

955
00:49:59,733 --> 00:50:00,653
We're making an entrance.

956
00:50:00,793 --> 00:50:01,453
Oh, we missed it.

957
00:50:01,793 --> 00:50:02,713
Go around again.

958
00:50:03,653 --> 00:50:04,133
Yes.

959
00:50:04,993 --> 00:50:05,693
We're in.

960
00:50:05,933 --> 00:50:06,453
Yes.

961
00:50:07,353 --> 00:50:07,653
Bang.

962
00:50:07,773 --> 00:50:08,333
Bang, bang, bang, bang.

963
00:50:09,473 --> 00:50:09,953
No.

964
00:50:11,213 --> 00:50:12,573
Security guard shot me.

965
00:50:12,773 --> 00:50:13,253
No.

966
00:50:13,553 --> 00:50:15,153
Come here. Come close.

967
00:50:15,573 --> 00:50:18,413
No. Oh, what? Don't die on me.

968
00:50:18,513 --> 00:50:20,773
I might die, but I lived.

969
00:50:21,793 --> 00:50:24,613
Thank God you're alive.

970
00:50:24,753 --> 00:50:25,393
Oh, my God. Just kidding.

971
00:50:26,153 --> 00:50:31,613
No. No, no. I was saying before I got shot, I lived.

972
00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:33,233
Oh, no.

973
00:50:33,233 --> 00:50:36,493
Oh, no.

974
00:50:40,333 --> 00:50:42,553
My new kissing best friend.

975
00:50:43,553 --> 00:50:50,893
well i guess we figured out i can maintain that accent whatever the hell that was um

976
00:50:50,893 --> 00:50:58,173
was impressive i don't i was it like any kind of real i would say like vaguely slavic okay

977
00:50:58,173 --> 00:51:03,793
you know hopefully they're not offended i tried to make it a jovial character slavs if you're

978
00:51:03,793 --> 00:51:12,633
listening we know you are yeah um uh all right well that wraps up the big question the big question

979
00:51:12,633 --> 00:51:16,213
I know only one thing left

980
00:51:16,213 --> 00:51:16,833
Francis

981
00:51:16,833 --> 00:51:19,433
he said my name sexy

982
00:51:19,433 --> 00:51:20,813
Francis

983
00:51:20,813 --> 00:51:23,793
if Francis was your secret word

984
00:51:23,793 --> 00:51:25,033
you just scored some big points

985
00:51:25,033 --> 00:51:26,913
oh my god

986
00:51:26,913 --> 00:51:28,573
wait and see motherfucker

987
00:51:28,573 --> 00:51:29,973
was it motherfucker

988
00:51:29,973 --> 00:51:34,373
alright well I have some guesses for you

989
00:51:34,373 --> 00:51:34,793
okay

990
00:51:34,793 --> 00:51:37,793
I'm not confident about them

991
00:51:37,793 --> 00:51:39,833
yeah me neither so don't worry

992
00:51:39,833 --> 00:51:40,873
okay

993
00:51:40,873 --> 00:51:52,353
was your secret word launch no adoption no it wasn't

994
00:51:53,373 --> 00:51:59,393
yearns no that was true psychicry

995
00:51:59,393 --> 00:52:06,613
pontoon i knew you're gonna say one too it's not bunter oh okay thank god because i actually

996
00:52:06,613 --> 00:52:08,993
said it, so I was worried that it was.

997
00:52:09,533 --> 00:52:10,193
Don't you hate that.

998
00:52:10,313 --> 00:52:11,413
Those are all my guesses.

999
00:52:12,533 --> 00:52:13,893
Alright, my word was

1000
00:52:13,893 --> 00:52:15,793
middleman.

1001
00:52:17,033 --> 00:52:17,393
Oh!

1002
00:52:18,493 --> 00:52:20,073
Which worked out. That was a nice...

1003
00:52:20,073 --> 00:52:21,573
The murderer. Oh, did I say it?

1004
00:52:21,573 --> 00:52:23,133
No, no, no. You're safe.

1005
00:52:23,233 --> 00:52:25,173
You didn't say any of my words. No, Francis said

1006
00:52:25,173 --> 00:52:27,073
this will cut out the middleman, and then you said

1007
00:52:27,073 --> 00:52:29,153
so the murderer. Yeah, okay.

1008
00:52:30,013 --> 00:52:31,133
Yeah. Alright. It was nice.

1009
00:52:31,193 --> 00:52:33,313
It was fine. My decoy word

1010
00:52:33,313 --> 00:52:34,333
was commercialism.

1011
00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:44,493
good memory wait when did you say that uh that was towards the end of invention of the week

1012
00:52:44,493 --> 00:52:51,413
yeah yeah i said it kind of to joe with a little like finger gun action which is funny that you

1013
00:52:51,413 --> 00:52:58,073
said your decoy word in like a hushed aside to me rather than very audible jenna's smart she

1014
00:52:58,073 --> 00:53:00,413
She would pick up on things any other week.

1015
00:53:01,733 --> 00:53:04,773
Not this week, but all right.

1016
00:53:04,873 --> 00:53:07,533
Well, okay.

1017
00:53:07,593 --> 00:53:08,213
My turn.

1018
00:53:08,393 --> 00:53:09,693
How do I stretch out these two guesses?

1019
00:53:12,753 --> 00:53:13,833
Here's my first one.

1020
00:53:13,913 --> 00:53:14,293
Okay.

1021
00:53:15,153 --> 00:53:15,593
Vespa.

1022
00:53:16,533 --> 00:53:16,893
Nope.

1023
00:53:17,553 --> 00:53:18,033
Okay.

1024
00:53:18,333 --> 00:53:19,653
I thought you might guess that though.

1025
00:53:20,693 --> 00:53:21,173
Goldfish.

1026
00:53:21,833 --> 00:53:22,173
Nope.

1027
00:53:22,173 --> 00:53:30,433
my next guess which i've been thinking about but did not write down okay was during

1028
00:53:30,433 --> 00:53:41,873
pet psychic and it was sebastian no it wasn't sebastian no no was it ant farm no

1029
00:53:41,873 --> 00:53:47,753
oh that's interesting um you're just gonna name all the things that i said in pet psychic

1030
00:53:47,753 --> 00:53:50,393
no because before pet psychic

1031
00:53:50,393 --> 00:53:52,753
we did invention of the week

1032
00:53:52,753 --> 00:53:53,373
yeah

1033
00:53:53,373 --> 00:53:56,513
and I have no other guesses

1034
00:53:56,513 --> 00:53:57,833
I'm done I'm just done

1035
00:53:57,833 --> 00:54:00,753
I'm done I'm sorry I wish I was

1036
00:54:00,753 --> 00:54:02,073
oh

1037
00:54:02,073 --> 00:54:03,973
you're gonna hate this

1038
00:54:03,973 --> 00:54:05,213
no don't tell me

1039
00:54:05,213 --> 00:54:07,233
don't tell me

1040
00:54:07,233 --> 00:54:09,873
is it

1041
00:54:09,873 --> 00:54:12,813
don't

1042
00:54:12,813 --> 00:54:14,733
no just do it

1043
00:54:14,733 --> 00:54:15,933
wait no

1044
00:54:15,933 --> 00:54:18,533
You said it three times.

1045
00:54:18,713 --> 00:54:19,513
Do you know what it is?

1046
00:54:19,513 --> 00:54:20,893
Are you serious?

1047
00:54:20,893 --> 00:54:21,333
Did he say it three?

1048
00:54:21,513 --> 00:54:22,873
I clocked two.

1049
00:54:23,073 --> 00:54:23,633
You said it at least.

1050
00:54:23,633 --> 00:54:24,833
No, you said it three times.

1051
00:54:26,573 --> 00:54:27,493
Do you know what it is?

1052
00:54:28,493 --> 00:54:29,013
No.

1053
00:54:30,533 --> 00:54:32,893
It's sideburns.

1054
00:54:32,893 --> 00:54:33,493
Sideburns.

1055
00:54:38,893 --> 00:54:42,353
Oh, I'm sorry, Francis.

1056
00:54:43,533 --> 00:54:44,953
I'm sorry.

1057
00:54:45,933 --> 00:54:48,633
I'm so sick of being alive.

1058
00:54:49,693 --> 00:54:52,233
Listeners, please pray for Francis's health

1059
00:54:52,233 --> 00:54:53,853
that we get an episode next week.

1060
00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:56,333
Oh, well, good for you.

1061
00:54:56,333 --> 00:54:57,873
He's like that goldfish in the bowl,

1062
00:54:58,053 --> 00:54:59,213
just ready for the toilet.

1063
00:55:02,693 --> 00:55:03,533
I'm sorry.

1064
00:55:03,673 --> 00:55:05,133
I wanted you to get a win.

1065
00:55:05,293 --> 00:55:05,773
I did.

1066
00:55:07,073 --> 00:55:07,653
I'm dizzy.

1067
00:55:08,613 --> 00:55:09,513
I'm sorry.

1068
00:55:09,793 --> 00:55:10,233
That's okay.

1069
00:55:10,413 --> 00:55:13,493
My decoy word, by the way, was infighting.

1070
00:55:13,493 --> 00:55:17,253
I said it would stop a lot of prison infighting

1071
00:55:17,253 --> 00:55:17,753
yeah okay

1072
00:55:17,753 --> 00:55:20,913
I didn't actually hear you say it but I assumed

1073
00:55:20,913 --> 00:55:22,173
that that's where you slipped it in

1074
00:55:22,173 --> 00:55:23,233
yeah yeah yeah

1075
00:55:23,233 --> 00:55:25,793
so I'm sorry Francis

1076
00:55:25,793 --> 00:55:27,553
oh I

1077
00:55:27,553 --> 00:55:28,033
oh

1078
00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:30,293
was it sideburns

1079
00:55:30,293 --> 00:55:31,973
oh wow

1080
00:55:31,973 --> 00:55:35,273
20 points for Francis

1081
00:55:35,273 --> 00:55:37,613
okay you know what I was winning for a long time

1082
00:55:37,613 --> 00:55:39,073
you were I know

1083
00:55:39,073 --> 00:55:41,813
listeners if you go to veryfinefriends.com

1084
00:55:41,813 --> 00:55:43,173
you can see

1085
00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:52,633
the points total and for the first time in 30 episodes i am winning now yeah it's called the

1086
00:55:52,633 --> 00:56:01,013
wheel of fortune yeah oh i i have a feeling though that francis i mean you you were consistently

1087
00:56:01,013 --> 00:56:05,453
better than me so this is like a weird fluke that i've i've gone on a little bit of a winning streak

1088
00:56:05,453 --> 00:56:13,153
like you as a winner thank you well uh i like our listeners as winners too and if you made it to this

1089
00:56:13,153 --> 00:56:17,973
point in the episode then you're a real winner yeah and you're hot yeah you're a sizzler

1090
00:56:17,973 --> 00:56:24,353
francis is anything you want to say to us both to let out some rage and close out the episode

1091
00:56:24,353 --> 00:56:30,313
fuck you fuck you both all right thank you but not you listeners bye

1092
00:56:43,153 --> 00:56:43,653
you