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I don't know what happened.

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Well, folks at home, we're in our new podcast space.

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Yay!

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It's a very delightful little room, my new house.

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I'm realizing now, as I sit here, I was thinking, oh, this is perfect.

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We record at golden hour times.

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like we're gonna look out the window faces west but now i'm realizing my seat is directly in the

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sun you look like an angel thank you i appreciate that um also we have the window open um we're

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gonna see how that works so if you hear fun like birds chirping or those metal birds we call planes

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in the background that's what's going on there or alley screams yeah we do have a fun murderer

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that lives in the alley if you hear anything from that that's just know that's what's going on

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we're okay it's just somebody else but we don't care about them nope we sure don't unless they're

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a subscriber which we know they are so we do care about them so anyway um this is uh nice maybe we'll

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post a picture of the podcast space oh i love it um let me do a little describing so they know what

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they're getting themselves into okay it's a square room with a window yes and one door all of this is

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accurate so far. Thank you. That's all they get for the teaser. You don't even know if

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it has a floor or a roof yet. I'm not giving it all away. Subscribe. We release more on

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bonus day. Why buy the room cow? You could get the milk cow for free. Yeah. Well, welcome

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to Very Fine Friends, a podcast where friends talk about stuff. How are you, Francis?

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Weather's turning.

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I'm alive.

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And you?

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Both of those things for me as well.

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Weather's turning and I am alive as well.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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Yay!

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Good for us.

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Yes.

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Holidays are coming up.

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Yeah.

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I know.

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Somebody posted the funniest meme yesterday.

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It was the day after Halloween and they posted, I can't believe Christmas is tomorrow.

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Oh.

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Oh, whimsy.

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And we laughed and laughed.

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you know i just noticed the other day they don't you never see a santa outfit for sale

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like in the grocery store or something

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just for halloween anytime anytime yeah like where does santa go when he needs a new santa suit

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mrs claus makes it for him old school she's uh she's got nothing else going on

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yeah quite frankly obviously she doesn't bake cookies or he wouldn't feel the need to

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get them from everywhere.

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Who wouldn't be such a whore for them when he left

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the house?

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He's got to go outside the home to get what he really wants.

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You know, if I was

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if I baked cookies for Santa, I would

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want to know his opinion on them.

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Like, I don't want them to just leave them as a gift and then like

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Like leave a little note, like

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rate them, please.

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What if he was just like, eh?

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Then I'm

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done with Santa. I'm Jewish next year.

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it's just that easy folks

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um okay

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well is there a Jewish Santa

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I think it's just Santa

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oh I think Santa goes to

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Jews as well

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Santa Goldstein

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as played by Mandy Patinkin

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Santa Berg

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yeah I could see

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Manny Patinkin playing. Me too. Wouldn't he be a great Santa Claus?

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Yeah.

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Awesome.

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You won't be good this year.

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Carrie, what are you doing?

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Carrie.

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I believe her, David.

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She's only insane.

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She's only let me down every time

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I'm going to cross with her.

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Santa?

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Oh, go back to bed, young one.

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They baked you kosher cookies, Santa.

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Santa?

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Oh, good. No pork in those cookies.

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All right.

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Cool.

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Well, I think it's time to get to our first segment.

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I said the title.

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You guys, listeners at home will remember I said,

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Welcome to Very Fine Friends.

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Yes, you did.

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Joe's too busy eating Skittles to pay attention to what's going on in front of him.

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Anyway, welcome back to Very Fine Friends, where you've been this whole time.

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Now it's time to get to our first segment, which is the invention of the week.

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Plot twist.

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I know, plot twist, folks.

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I actually have something this week.

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So, I'm nervous about this because I feel like the standard is not going to be the same.

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I feel like Francis has set such a high bar that I'm worried.

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Thank you, but you'll be great.

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The power just comes to you.

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Okay.

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All right.

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I'm going to try and channel my inner Francis.

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You're going to love this.

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I'm all prepped to love it now.

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Off to a good start.

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Okay.

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You know how sometimes you leave voicemails?

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I do know that.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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And you know how sometimes you get drunk?

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Yes.

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Okay.

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And you know how sometimes you make bad decisions and you accidentally call people that you shouldn't be calling?

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Not me, but I've heard that other people do that.

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Yeah, other people do that.

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Yes.

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It's been a long time since I've done anything like that.

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But in general, people do do that, right?

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They make poor decisions when they get drunk.

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Well, if you're texting back and forth, you have a record of something, of like what you said and what the other person said.

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if you leave a voicemail

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only they have the proof of what was said

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that's true

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so my invention

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is an app

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that automatically records

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when you're leaving a voicemail

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so that you have a record

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of what you said

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in addition to the other person

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having that record too

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so that you can be like

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I have the receipts

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I know I didn't say that thing

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or

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don't try and paint me as a weirdo

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Donna. I was just slurring my words

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a little bit. Everything else was fine.

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Anyway, that's my

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invention.

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You just want a copy

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of what you said? Yeah.

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Do they have a copy?

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Because they have a copy of it.

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So

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that's like more power

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in their hands.

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Is there any other

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practical use besides

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just having it?

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Listeners, what you can't say right now

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is Jenna's getting very exasperated

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that I don't understand her invention.

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I know, I gave him a withering look.

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Okay, anyway.

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So,

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no, I'm not actually exasperated.

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No, it doesn't really do anything else.

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I'm sure that you could come up with a fun new

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way

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to implement it.

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But...

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what would you do with it once you had it?

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I don't know.

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Get drunk and leave voicemails.

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I'm just saying, it's just like a, it's a safety.

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It's a precaution.

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Don't look at what's going on.

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Okay.

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I thought Francis was trying to cheat and look at Joe's scorecard tally thing.

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No, I don't try to cheat.

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I just do it.

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Okay.

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Go on.

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Anyways.

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Yeah, I just, it's a good, like, cover your ass scenario.

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out so here's how i thought of it or this is why i thought of it i was watching the movie barbarian

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the other day and there's a scene where um justin long's character who is accused of sexual

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misconduct by like an actress and he's a director that means he did it well he did do it but the

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point is like he thinks he's in the right because like oh whatever but he gets super drunk and he

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leaves this chick a message i'm like you're under like legal like there's like legal implications

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to what just happened here.

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So, like, if the next day you looked at your phone

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and you were like, oh, shit, I made a call.

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What did I say?

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Or what if you butt dialed

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and you don't know what was on that message?

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Exactly.

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You don't even have to be drunk.

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You could just be, you could just have a pointy butt.

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The dials people.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Let me ask you this.

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Yeah.

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Don't you think it would also be, like, a better,

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maybe a feature of your app is instead of leaving the voicemail,

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it holds it on your phone for 12 hours.

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This way,

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when you wake up,

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you have a chance to decide if you really want to send it.

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Oh,

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so it's like a,

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it's like a little holding period.

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Yeah.

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And they,

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on their phone,

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it could say voicemail pending.

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Ooh,

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that would be intriguing.

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What if you got a little notification that said voicemail pending?

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That would be intriguing.

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like if you had that you'd be like and then if and then if it disappeared you'd be like whoa

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what were they going to say i wish i hadn't just said that word out loud just in case um

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i i like i actually do see practical implications for this app um what about

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what about if you're gonna leave a voicemail you know how like when you're on um what app am i

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thinking um oh like offer up if i go to message someone on offer up it's like this person rarely

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replies or this person responds 76 of the time oh what if it tells you things like like this person

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prefers sober voicemails looking to give you an opportunity to hang up or like this person what

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if you said this person prefers a drunk voicemails and someone just like takes a bunch of shots

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waits 20 minutes and calls back oh i'm just so nice and i just well you could put a drunk filter

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on the voicemail.

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So like,

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you start talking

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and then the filter

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changes it a little bit

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as though you were drunk.

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Which gets you out

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of legal problems

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because it went

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through a filter.

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How does that get you

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out of legal?

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I mean,

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I know you're a lawyer.

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Because I didn't say that.

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It's a fun filter.

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You know,

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so if I was like,

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hey Jenna,

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haven't seen you in a while

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and the voicemail

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came through,

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I was like,

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bitch,

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what up?

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So it's like a translation

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to drunk translation?

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Yeah.

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hit your boy

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I miss you

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you just made me choke on my starburst

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don't worry I know the

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CPR

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I know the CPR

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you like I mean I think that would be fun

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yeah that would be fun

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or if you're angry oh this is a really

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good one you know how sometimes we speak in anger

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I do know that

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what if the filter

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stopped that

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what if it's like

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listen up

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you stupid ass

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don't talk to Jeremy again

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you know he's mine

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and then the filter was like

270
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,800
we really need to have

271
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,800
a conversation about

272
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:51,720
boundaries

273
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,800
and men

274
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,460
but I love you

275
00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:58,080
I miss you

276
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,120
oh no

277
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,640
that's why they call it a windpipe

278
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,060
the noise I just made

279
00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:05,180
oh

280
00:12:05,180 --> 00:12:06,080
now we know

281
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,400
I do like it.

282
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,300
Do you have a name for this?

283
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,460
I have the receipts, Donna.

284
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:15,780
That's my name.

285
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,340
Voicemail modulator.

286
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:25,960
Mail mod.

287
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,360
Hold message.

288
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:35,560
Hold message.

289
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,720
Holden Callfields.

290
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,820
Well, it's expanded now.

291
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,000
Because there's no features.

292
00:12:51,420 --> 00:13:00,160
As per usual, you've taken it and made it even more practical than what my original idea was.

293
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:00,960
I'm not thinking it's not practical.

294
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:02,960
Hey, Jenna, give me a call back sometime.

295
00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:04,120
It's been a while since we spoke.

296
00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:04,860
Beep.

297
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:07,260
I don't love my wife I love you

298
00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:09,860
that's the drunk filter

299
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:10,640
yeah

300
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,180
yeah

301
00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:17,760
I don't know any other names Joe you're pretty good

302
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,640
Joe's been like you've been on fire

303
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,220
with the names recently playing a name game

304
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:23,540
I was thinking

305
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:25,040
either voice me

306
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,480
instead of voicemail or

307
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,180
something like with VM

308
00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:31,000
for voicemail like

309
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,880
my VMs

310
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,700
slide into my VMs.

311
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,800
I like something to do with VMs.

312
00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:39,820
It's not that, but it's

313
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:40,340
somewhere there.

314
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:43,800
I'll keep thinking about it.

315
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:46,220
How about

316
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:47,720
VMVD?

317
00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:49,080
Now we both have it.

318
00:13:58,140 --> 00:13:59,660
Listeners, I'm sorry for laughing

319
00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:01,300
really loudly into my mic just now.

320
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:08,080
Okay, well, we'll settle on a name.

321
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,940
We'll let you know when we get a final name.

322
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:16,460
Yeah, and also, this idea is actually just spawning layer on layer of potential,

323
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,320
because you could do anything.

324
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:20,840
You could even do voice filters.

325
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,660
So it's like, ah, put a funny voice on this one.

326
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,700
Or make it sound like her.

327
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:25,920
Make it sound like I'm Jenna.

328
00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:28,180
And the call is coming from me.

329
00:14:28,380 --> 00:14:28,660
Yeah.

330
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,780
Oh, that version could be called voicemail fraud.

331
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:32,620
Ooh.

332
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:33,120
Mail fraud.

333
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:55,304
so yeah i think you gonna be raking it in soon oh thank god you could use that yeah i won let it change you Thank you Thank you for keeping me grounded Of course Could finally put in a roof and a floor in the studio

334
00:14:55,404 --> 00:14:56,804
Joe, don't tell them.

335
00:14:56,824 --> 00:14:58,245
They're going to find out when they subscribe.

336
00:14:59,404 --> 00:15:06,164
Or when they go to veryfindsfriends.com and look at the other stuff section of our website and see the picture on there.

337
00:15:06,164 --> 00:15:11,444
If you'll excuse me, I need to walk across the room, which means my feet are now in hay.

338
00:15:14,645 --> 00:15:16,845
But watch out for the lava pit.

339
00:15:18,525 --> 00:15:19,284
Baby toe.

340
00:15:19,725 --> 00:15:20,705
Bye-bye, baby toe.

341
00:15:22,345 --> 00:15:22,965
Oh, no.

342
00:15:24,005 --> 00:15:26,544
If you get thirsty, just look up and open your mouth.

343
00:15:26,645 --> 00:15:27,385
It started raining.

344
00:15:27,605 --> 00:15:28,105
And wait.

345
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:33,405
Watch out for the podcast pet falcon.

346
00:15:33,405 --> 00:15:40,145
oh no i was trying to do a you and you succeeded yeah that was

347
00:15:40,145 --> 00:15:43,845
that was oh no we're being swarmed by falcons they thought they were being called

348
00:15:43,845 --> 00:15:53,005
well great i think that um i think you should do more inventions you've got the you've got the juj

349
00:15:53,005 --> 00:15:59,985
and she loves us a long time um well we'll see of this

350
00:15:59,985 --> 00:16:08,845
we'll see how this pans out um i mean i'm assuming we're immediately going to be rich so

351
00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:16,605
yeah in which case yeah i'll keep inventing once every four or five years when an idea comes to me

352
00:16:16,605 --> 00:16:21,865
i'll throw it into the podcast oh and you know what else it could even tell the person who gets

353
00:16:21,865 --> 00:16:27,145
the voicemail they there's a 39 chance this person was inebriated

354
00:16:27,145 --> 00:16:37,684
oh yeah you know so that they know because like let's say you're let's say you you had a long

355
00:16:37,684 --> 00:16:43,725
long time lover and like he never treated you 100 right and it was on again off again and you

356
00:16:43,725 --> 00:16:47,385
really love this guy but you decided for your own sanity you couldn't be around him anymore

357
00:16:47,385 --> 00:16:53,304
then he calls you you know just like jana you're the only one for me wouldn't you know

358
00:16:53,304 --> 00:17:03,005
though if you were a long time lover well i want the app to say there's an 86 chance he's playing

359
00:17:03,005 --> 00:17:10,364
you he's playing a fool but what if i just like speaking as if i'm drunk then the filters

360
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:17,844
translates it to sober so you give it a baseline like it you you like talk into it and and it'll

361
00:17:17,844 --> 00:17:19,245
determined. This is my sober state.

362
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,824
Yeah. The app comes with a breathalyzer.

363
00:17:22,284 --> 00:17:23,465
You can't fool the app.

364
00:17:24,245 --> 00:17:24,584
Hmm.

365
00:17:26,624 --> 00:17:27,665
Every good app

366
00:17:27,665 --> 00:17:29,545
comes with an external piece of hardware.

367
00:17:30,685 --> 00:17:31,725
And you have to pay

368
00:17:31,725 --> 00:17:33,864
to get them to come in the mail.

369
00:17:33,864 --> 00:17:35,524
Like Harry's razors.

370
00:17:38,784 --> 00:17:39,344
Okay.

371
00:17:40,064 --> 00:17:41,445
Good job. Thank you.

372
00:17:42,344 --> 00:17:43,824
I think you've made your

373
00:17:43,824 --> 00:17:45,024
invention abundantly clear.

374
00:17:45,584 --> 00:17:47,384
Thank you. I appreciate that.

375
00:17:47,384 --> 00:17:47,784
yes

376
00:17:47,784 --> 00:17:50,145
uh

377
00:17:50,145 --> 00:17:51,185
all right

378
00:17:51,185 --> 00:17:51,745
I think that

379
00:17:51,745 --> 00:17:52,405
wraps up

380
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,624
the invention

381
00:17:53,624 --> 00:17:55,245
of the week

382
00:17:55,245 --> 00:17:59,485
now it's time

383
00:17:59,485 --> 00:18:00,165
for our next

384
00:18:00,165 --> 00:18:00,725
segment

385
00:18:00,725 --> 00:18:03,024
wrong

386
00:18:03,024 --> 00:18:07,445
uh

387
00:18:07,445 --> 00:18:08,045
do you want to

388
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:08,624
describe this

389
00:18:08,624 --> 00:18:08,945
segment

390
00:18:08,945 --> 00:18:09,604
Francis

391
00:18:09,604 --> 00:18:11,024
yes

392
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:11,524
so

393
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:12,884
wrong

394
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:15,425
is a

395
00:18:15,425 --> 00:18:15,945
segment

396
00:18:15,945 --> 00:18:16,405
where

397
00:18:16,405 --> 00:18:23,624
one of us will begin to dazzle the other with a story or news of some kind,

398
00:18:23,745 --> 00:18:28,784
but then the other person interrupts with corrective information

399
00:18:28,784 --> 00:18:31,624
that, of course, then changes the trajectory of the story.

400
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:35,705
Then we have to explain how, of course, that makes sense.

401
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:36,445
You know what I'm saying?

402
00:18:37,045 --> 00:18:37,185
Yeah.

403
00:18:37,304 --> 00:18:37,445
Like clear?

404
00:18:39,225 --> 00:18:39,624
Yes.

405
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,545
You need a voicemail for this?

406
00:18:43,104 --> 00:18:44,965
Are you going to be using the drunk filter?

407
00:18:44,965 --> 00:18:47,104
There's a 100% chance Francis was drunk.

408
00:18:47,705 --> 00:18:48,505
It's Francis.

409
00:18:48,604 --> 00:18:49,324
Of course he was drunk.

410
00:18:49,405 --> 00:18:49,685
I'm kidding.

411
00:18:49,784 --> 00:18:50,205
I don't drink.

412
00:18:50,384 --> 00:18:50,524
Yeah.

413
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:52,405
Yeah.

414
00:18:53,185 --> 00:18:54,145
Drunk on oxygen.

415
00:18:58,624 --> 00:18:59,104
Okay.

416
00:18:59,344 --> 00:19:01,324
Well, go ahead.

417
00:19:01,425 --> 00:19:01,564
Okay.

418
00:19:01,564 --> 00:19:03,284
I'm going to start telling you about something.

419
00:19:04,005 --> 00:19:05,445
Can't wait to correct you.

420
00:19:05,804 --> 00:19:06,044
Okay.

421
00:19:06,985 --> 00:19:09,324
So there's this really cool feature in my neighborhood.

422
00:19:10,205 --> 00:19:13,485
On Fridays, they do food trucks.

423
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:20,304
so there's a whole bunch of food trucks in the neighborhood so that um anyone can go up there

424
00:19:20,304 --> 00:19:27,084
with themselves with their children and there's a variety of different sort of foods i'm sorry i'm

425
00:19:27,084 --> 00:19:36,965
gonna have to correct you there francis um it's just eight food trucks and they only sell haggis

426
00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:46,084
oh that's right that's why they all said it's us haggis on them um and so actually my community

427
00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:52,024
partners with haggis incorporated um and they send eight trucks because as you know haggis is

428
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:58,124
overwhelmingly popular in arizona um and they actually have to have armed guards outside

429
00:19:58,124 --> 00:20:01,384
because people will kill for haggis

430
00:20:01,384 --> 00:20:11,665
and children will kill people will drop pens for haggis yes they will um that's how they signal to

431
00:20:11,665 --> 00:20:15,784
other people by the way when one of the children wants to make a kill they drop a pen

432
00:20:15,784 --> 00:20:21,505
and all the children attack and what they've done is uh actually the food trucks can't even

433
00:20:21,505 --> 00:20:24,965
come out anymore because the children found a weakness on the food truck is at the top there's

434
00:20:24,965 --> 00:20:35,584
a vent a toilet vent uh i'm sorry to correct you again here francis but um the at the top is an

435
00:20:35,584 --> 00:20:42,485
actual toilet on the top of these haggis food it's not a vent right so that that's that does

436
00:20:42,485 --> 00:20:48,864
track because what happens is uh the children put the toilet there um and what they what they do is

437
00:20:48,864 --> 00:20:51,264
they eat little bombs

438
00:20:51,264 --> 00:20:53,384
and then they

439
00:20:53,384 --> 00:20:54,584
climb onto the toilet

440
00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:56,445
and they go.

441
00:20:57,304 --> 00:20:58,645
One by one? One by one.

442
00:20:58,804 --> 00:21:00,985
They shit out the little bombs. And they flush the bombs

443
00:21:00,985 --> 00:21:01,925
into the food trucks.

444
00:21:03,064 --> 00:21:05,124
And that's how the workers are

445
00:21:05,124 --> 00:21:06,225
violently killed.

446
00:21:07,044 --> 00:21:09,185
And it also blows the doors

447
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,084
open so the kids can get in and get the haggis.

448
00:21:11,084 --> 00:21:13,264
Which is, here's the crazy thing about that though.

449
00:21:13,784 --> 00:21:14,064
Is

450
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,304
these, God bless

451
00:21:16,304 --> 00:21:17,925
these food truck workers

452
00:21:17,925 --> 00:21:20,445
for being so trusting and so sweet.

453
00:21:20,725 --> 00:21:22,624
They see a line of little kids

454
00:21:22,624 --> 00:21:25,524
waiting to climb up on top of their food truck

455
00:21:25,524 --> 00:21:28,884
and use their toilet on top of the truck.

456
00:21:29,145 --> 00:21:29,804
They're just like,

457
00:21:30,145 --> 00:21:32,205
oh, sure, children, go right ahead.

458
00:21:32,505 --> 00:21:35,185
Meanwhile, everybody knows this happens all the time.

459
00:21:35,705 --> 00:21:38,245
These little toilet bombs going off.

460
00:21:38,745 --> 00:21:41,624
It's the official motto of Haggis Incorporated.

461
00:21:43,284 --> 00:21:44,864
We'd never assume a bomb.

462
00:21:44,864 --> 00:21:53,284
that's not the kind of world we want to live in where bombs are just going off day noon and night

463
00:21:53,284 --> 00:22:05,005
of indeterminate toilet origin so they allow it trademark you know what it is there's their motto

464
00:22:05,005 --> 00:22:09,225
is trademark they know that if something bad happens to them they die doing what they love

465
00:22:09,225 --> 00:22:13,645
which is scoop and haggis out what's haggis by the way is it like a yogurt that's such a great

466
00:22:13,645 --> 00:22:19,324
question yeah what is haggis can you it's conceptually i know conceptually i mean the

467
00:22:19,324 --> 00:22:25,064
scottish it's a scottish delicacy and i think it's i mean it's just a lump of meat really but

468
00:22:25,064 --> 00:22:31,945
i think inside of us there's a little bit of haggis oh but we um i think what they found is

469
00:22:31,945 --> 00:22:39,304
that the meat is the reason for the violent bomb crapping children it actually contained a

470
00:22:39,304 --> 00:22:42,965
a contagion that made the children violent.

471
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:44,844
Um,

472
00:22:45,284 --> 00:22:47,284
I'm going to correct you again here,

473
00:22:47,384 --> 00:22:47,685
Francis.

474
00:22:47,945 --> 00:22:48,145
Um,

475
00:22:48,205 --> 00:22:48,645
yeah,

476
00:22:48,824 --> 00:22:49,264
it's,

477
00:22:49,344 --> 00:22:49,465
uh,

478
00:22:49,465 --> 00:22:50,784
it wasn't actually a contagion.

479
00:22:50,824 --> 00:22:51,405
It was just,

480
00:22:51,745 --> 00:22:53,425
there's something that is activated.

481
00:22:54,024 --> 00:22:54,824
Once you turn,

482
00:22:54,884 --> 00:22:56,384
like the second you turn 18,

483
00:22:56,604 --> 00:22:58,084
your body is suddenly able to,

484
00:22:58,084 --> 00:23:01,364
to handle the haggis and,

485
00:23:01,524 --> 00:23:06,985
and it becomes like a nonviolent instigator in your body.

486
00:23:08,405 --> 00:23:08,844
Um,

487
00:23:08,844 --> 00:23:11,945
as opposed to a violent instigator in your body.

488
00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:15,364
There's something about the age of 18 haggis knows.

489
00:23:16,804 --> 00:23:16,945
Yeah.

490
00:23:17,024 --> 00:23:20,064
And so that's why it's only children that are doing the murdering.

491
00:23:20,064 --> 00:23:24,104
And the parents are praying every night that their children aren't affected

492
00:23:24,104 --> 00:23:26,965
because one in every 12 bombs goes off in the colon.

493
00:23:28,304 --> 00:23:29,104
I know.

494
00:23:29,364 --> 00:23:29,725
Yeah.

495
00:23:29,925 --> 00:23:29,945
God.

496
00:23:30,524 --> 00:23:33,364
And then people only have half of their child.

497
00:23:34,524 --> 00:23:36,044
The left half.

498
00:23:36,564 --> 00:23:37,925
Yeah, it goes up and down.

499
00:23:38,044 --> 00:23:38,205
Yep.

500
00:23:38,844 --> 00:23:39,844
Not top and bottom.

501
00:23:40,165 --> 00:23:44,584
That's another thing that happens when you turn 18 is your colon writes itself.

502
00:23:44,705 --> 00:23:47,945
It's no longer running all the way around your body, up and down your body.

503
00:23:48,324 --> 00:23:48,505
Yeah.

504
00:23:48,824 --> 00:23:51,124
That's why it's called the adult colon.

505
00:23:51,925 --> 00:23:52,165
Yep.

506
00:23:53,344 --> 00:23:53,604
Yep.

507
00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:55,124
They're not calling it the kid colon.

508
00:23:55,584 --> 00:23:56,584
No, the kiddie colon.

509
00:23:57,024 --> 00:23:57,925
Yeah, no, not anymore.

510
00:23:58,145 --> 00:23:58,384
Nope.

511
00:23:58,645 --> 00:23:59,064
Not anymore.

512
00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:00,804
Isn't that beautiful?

513
00:24:01,044 --> 00:24:01,925
It is beautiful.

514
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:03,024
I love that about your neighborhood.

515
00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:03,544
Yes.

516
00:24:03,544 --> 00:24:09,624
Yes. We also have a pool that is 40 feet deep.

517
00:24:09,905 --> 00:24:11,245
That's really deep.

518
00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:12,005
It's a scuba pool.

519
00:24:13,104 --> 00:24:15,044
It's to help learn to scuba.

520
00:24:15,725 --> 00:24:18,124
I'm sorry to interrupt you.

521
00:24:19,284 --> 00:24:20,705
It's not a scuba pool.

522
00:24:21,165 --> 00:24:29,705
It's to help you learn how to escape in case you've ever been dropped into a river with concrete blocks on your feet by the mob.

523
00:24:29,705 --> 00:24:37,445
it's to simulate being deep inside of a river or an ocean that's right that's why they have the

524
00:24:37,445 --> 00:24:41,645
concrete blocks next to with their little straps on them so you can just put them on your feet and

525
00:24:41,645 --> 00:24:47,485
you kind of like waddle over the edge and jump in uh yeah i think i must have got that fact wrong

526
00:24:47,485 --> 00:24:52,044
because the sign is so misleading it's whatever it says i know the sign just says no diving no

527
00:24:52,044 --> 00:24:58,165
diving hashtag and no be scoob yeah what was i supposed to think i know i'm not mad at myself

528
00:24:58,165 --> 00:25:00,005
for this. No, you shouldn't. No, you shouldn't be.

529
00:25:00,225 --> 00:25:01,705
And the mob comes to train there.

530
00:25:02,524 --> 00:25:03,705
Oh, which is so funny

531
00:25:03,705 --> 00:25:05,485
that they come to train there.

532
00:25:05,985 --> 00:25:08,124
They could be victims too. Well, they come

533
00:25:08,124 --> 00:25:10,084
to train throwing people over the sides of

534
00:25:10,084 --> 00:25:11,344
rivers. And they train

535
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:14,044
being the one thrown in. You know, one out of every

536
00:25:14,044 --> 00:25:14,884
12 mobsmen.

537
00:25:15,844 --> 00:25:18,005
It goes the way of a colon

538
00:25:18,005 --> 00:25:18,705
bomb. Yeah.

539
00:25:19,264 --> 00:25:21,824
Yeah. Yeah. God. Rest in peace.

540
00:25:23,425 --> 00:25:24,084
Wow. One out of

541
00:25:24,084 --> 00:25:26,225
12. Yeah. That's a dangerous

542
00:25:26,225 --> 00:25:28,064
dangerous number. Well, what they're

543
00:25:28,064 --> 00:25:33,124
finding more and more in science is that everything has a 1 in 12 chance. So all of math can be boiled

544
00:25:33,124 --> 00:25:36,324
down to 1 in 12. That's why the word dozen is so popular.

545
00:25:41,245 --> 00:25:49,784
Sorry to correct you again, Francis. The word dozen is so popular because it stands for dozen,

546
00:25:50,685 --> 00:25:57,645
which is the way they, that's the collective term, the Dutch collective term for a lot of

547
00:25:57,645 --> 00:26:05,864
donuts just a lot of donuts specifically 12 um they called them doos ends and that's when you

548
00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:11,445
would you'd get a bundle of donuts and you'd bring them to your friends or whoever you wanted

549
00:26:11,445 --> 00:26:19,824
but uh the dutch would actually they would have if you ever see this is why they love rings so

550
00:26:19,824 --> 00:26:29,905
much because it reminds them oh it's dozen season oh bringing the dozens uh that does sound very

551
00:26:29,905 --> 00:26:37,205
familiar and it also reminds me that the donut hole is because the dutch stole the hole so they

552
00:26:37,205 --> 00:26:47,205
say dozen stole the hole dozen stolen yeah dozen dozen stolen milch and um and people run because

553
00:26:47,205 --> 00:26:52,364
the sounds that scare them because they aren't used to dutch no one's no one's even the dutch

554
00:26:52,364 --> 00:26:56,084
are not used to dutch yeah please oh god what's that in the distance oh i hope it's german oh

555
00:26:56,084 --> 00:27:02,165
no it's wooden shoes oh quick i better get running clog clog clog clog um it's the woosan season and

556
00:27:02,165 --> 00:27:10,465
the dutch also invented the colon bomb but they did it as a joke and then sadly these kids got a

557
00:27:10,465 --> 00:27:16,624
hold of it and weaponized it as kids do god what are you gonna do with kids you know well

558
00:27:16,624 --> 00:27:19,044
don't be around them because statistically

559
00:27:19,044 --> 00:27:20,304
1 in 12 will explode.

560
00:27:21,384 --> 00:27:22,645
Don't give them haggis.

561
00:27:23,145 --> 00:27:24,965
Yeah, but everyone's addicted to haggis

562
00:27:24,965 --> 00:27:26,185
because it's a scheduled 2

563
00:27:26,185 --> 00:27:27,425
meet kodak.

564
00:27:28,945 --> 00:27:30,645
So we can't stay away. Even right now,

565
00:27:30,705 --> 00:27:32,945
I've got a hankering. Don't, Francis.

566
00:27:32,965 --> 00:27:34,624
We want some haggis. Actually, you're over 18.

567
00:27:34,764 --> 00:27:37,024
It'll just induce peace in you.

568
00:27:37,284 --> 00:27:38,784
It will induce doozin'

569
00:27:38,784 --> 00:27:39,245
peace.

570
00:27:40,844 --> 00:27:41,324
Yeah.

571
00:27:42,445 --> 00:27:43,844
That reminds me, I want to go to Dutch

572
00:27:43,844 --> 00:27:45,264
Bros.

573
00:27:45,264 --> 00:27:50,985
the oh i thought you're gonna say pennsylvania dutch country no i want well yes i want to go to

574
00:27:50,985 --> 00:27:56,324
the dutch bros in pennsylvania dutch country there they just call it bros oh that's right

575
00:27:56,324 --> 00:28:04,344
i heard that they use horses to stomp their coffee beans yeah hoofin hoofin bean hoofin bean yep

576
00:28:04,344 --> 00:28:15,165
yeah um well that's well that's a fun little tradition yeah for your neighborhood that's why

577
00:28:15,165 --> 00:28:20,764
we picked it that's why you picked the neighborhood yeah because of the exploding children exploding

578
00:28:20,764 --> 00:28:26,945
children and the the mob the mob training pool yeah character so it's gone in these newer

579
00:28:26,945 --> 00:28:35,544
communities i know what are we we are losing something i feel like as a as a society you know

580
00:28:35,544 --> 00:28:41,064
everyone everyone now like they won't want their own private mob training pool it's like no this

581
00:28:41,064 --> 00:28:45,824
should be a community thing yeah i want to look out and i want to see toilets on top of things

582
00:28:45,824 --> 00:28:51,645
yes thank you i want to see the children exploding yeah it's okay if they live

583
00:28:51,645 --> 00:28:55,665
i'd be fine with that if they live they don't have to die

584
00:28:55,665 --> 00:29:02,624
i don't know can't they want they can they want to child's right to die yep

585
00:29:02,624 --> 00:29:05,205
brought to you by oregon

586
00:29:05,205 --> 00:29:15,584
um can i tell you something that we do in my neighborhood oh yeah please do okay um please

587
00:29:15,584 --> 00:29:39,209
doozin in my neighborhood um uh there every year around this time um we hang stockings on our trees outside and then uh we act as like little santa clauses for our neighbors so like you try and like sneak a little gift into somebody stocking

588
00:29:39,209 --> 00:29:44,069
oh i gotta correct you oh um they don't act like santa clauses they act like mandy patinkins

589
00:29:44,069 --> 00:29:50,049
oh you're right i'm so sorry they're just basically basically the same in my mind yeah

590
00:29:50,049 --> 00:29:55,989
and it wasn't a little more rfk i think than mandy anyway it wasn't stockings it was butter

591
00:29:55,989 --> 00:30:04,189
yes that's right sorry uh i i always buy my butter in a in a long a butter stocking a butter

592
00:30:04,189 --> 00:30:11,429
stocking so i i get them confused in my mind but yes we like to hang butter and hide tree we hide

593
00:30:11,429 --> 00:30:17,629
treats inside other people's hanging butter um and it's just kind of a fun little thing and kind of

594
00:30:17,629 --> 00:30:23,229
and then you get something it's kind of like a secrets uh mandy patinkin secret patinkin secret

595
00:30:23,229 --> 00:30:23,789
Patinkin.

596
00:30:25,369 --> 00:30:26,269
Where, yeah.

597
00:30:29,069 --> 00:30:30,689
It's just kind of a fun thing.

598
00:30:31,489 --> 00:30:32,389
Oh, I have to correct you.

599
00:30:33,289 --> 00:30:35,009
Your whole neighborhood dreads this.

600
00:30:35,669 --> 00:30:37,149
It's a horrifying

601
00:30:37,149 --> 00:30:39,209
tradition that scares

602
00:30:39,209 --> 00:30:40,349
everyone. Oh,

603
00:30:41,069 --> 00:30:43,229
sorry. By fun, I meant

604
00:30:43,229 --> 00:30:45,269
people look on

605
00:30:45,269 --> 00:30:46,069
it with

606
00:30:46,069 --> 00:30:47,949
fascination.

607
00:30:48,729 --> 00:30:51,049
Like a car wreck. Or like a horror

608
00:30:51,049 --> 00:30:53,209
movie, yes. So it's

609
00:30:53,229 --> 00:30:54,469
It's fun in that way.

610
00:30:54,569 --> 00:30:59,089
That's, like, so terrible you can't help but watch kind of a way.

611
00:30:59,969 --> 00:31:02,609
Yeah, because the butter does turn pretty quickly.

612
00:31:02,909 --> 00:31:05,149
And then the whole neighborhood smells terrible.

613
00:31:05,849 --> 00:31:06,329
Yeah.

614
00:31:06,589 --> 00:31:07,389
For, like, a month.

615
00:31:07,489 --> 00:31:09,489
Because we do this, like, all of December.

616
00:31:10,669 --> 00:31:11,149
Yeah.

617
00:31:12,169 --> 00:31:15,149
Isn't this why, you know those neighborhood watch signs?

618
00:31:15,609 --> 00:31:19,289
Isn't that why instead of the weird hooded figure, it's just...

619
00:31:19,289 --> 00:31:19,569
Butter.

620
00:31:20,189 --> 00:31:20,509
Butter?

621
00:31:20,809 --> 00:31:21,009
Yep.

622
00:31:21,809 --> 00:31:22,149
Yeah.

623
00:31:22,149 --> 00:31:26,909
so it must be hard for you because i've no one visits those neighborhoods and you can't sell a

624
00:31:26,909 --> 00:31:37,229
house in them it is that's it's tough um santa avoids our house on christmas eve which is kind

625
00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:42,709
of a bummer because like i asked for things santa i still want them to but he he can't

626
00:31:42,709 --> 00:31:47,929
the only butter santa should know should be the sweet butter in a butter cookie not

627
00:31:47,929 --> 00:31:53,549
any kind of rancid butter so i get it why he ditches our neighborhood

628
00:31:53,549 --> 00:32:01,729
um this also is why the children are so angry in the home because they don't get to see santa

629
00:32:01,729 --> 00:32:07,549
in your neighborhood specifically yep um and that's why they're little midnight chokers

630
00:32:07,549 --> 00:32:13,949
yeah the parents lock their doors now it's it's hey it sounds like a fun little nickname the

631
00:32:13,949 --> 00:32:16,269
Midnight Jokers. It is not.

632
00:32:16,729 --> 00:32:17,829
It is not

633
00:32:17,829 --> 00:32:19,769
a fun little

634
00:32:19,769 --> 00:32:23,849
intramural baseball team.

635
00:32:24,169 --> 00:32:25,809
They are violent.

636
00:32:26,569 --> 00:32:28,149
That's why the birth rate's gone down.

637
00:32:28,929 --> 00:32:29,449
Yeah.

638
00:32:29,709 --> 00:32:32,049
In your neighborhood. Actually, the birth rate hasn't gone

639
00:32:32,049 --> 00:32:34,069
down. The murder rate's

640
00:32:34,069 --> 00:32:34,489
gone up.

641
00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:37,749
People are still having the babies.

642
00:32:37,949 --> 00:32:38,749
They just...

643
00:32:38,749 --> 00:32:39,389
Yeah.

644
00:32:40,809 --> 00:32:41,289
Yeah.

645
00:32:41,289 --> 00:32:48,689
you know half of them choke their parents and the half that get out blow up food trucks they

646
00:32:48,689 --> 00:32:54,149
go to your neighborhood it's become a very scary world my god i know didn't used to be this way

647
00:32:54,149 --> 00:33:01,689
i gotta actually correct you there francis oh it's been like this

648
00:33:01,689 --> 00:33:11,209
since for over 2 000 years jesus was a midnight joker oh that's right the one of the wise

649
00:33:11,209 --> 00:33:15,309
The craftsman actually brought him some haggis, and it set him off.

650
00:33:15,389 --> 00:33:17,309
It said that he walked on haggis, I remember now.

651
00:33:17,949 --> 00:33:21,049
And it just, once he turned 18, it was fine.

652
00:33:21,569 --> 00:33:22,569
We had to get there.

653
00:33:22,749 --> 00:33:27,709
Why do you think the Bible has so many years of Jesus' life just missing from it?

654
00:33:29,309 --> 00:33:32,769
Because there were haggis-induced fear years.

655
00:33:32,989 --> 00:33:36,689
Oh, and, you know, couldn't trust people with the truth, of course.

656
00:33:36,689 --> 00:33:36,929
Yeah.

657
00:33:37,169 --> 00:33:40,709
Well, and he was a kid, you know, like, clean slate, you know.

658
00:33:41,209 --> 00:33:43,409
everybody gets a little bit

659
00:33:43,409 --> 00:33:45,069
oh

660
00:33:45,069 --> 00:33:47,129
I have to correct you on that actually

661
00:33:47,129 --> 00:33:49,189
there's no such thing as a clean slate

662
00:33:49,189 --> 00:33:51,429
if you did one thing wrong as a child

663
00:33:51,429 --> 00:33:53,409
it stays with you

664
00:33:53,409 --> 00:33:55,909
even up to your first job application

665
00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:57,829
oh

666
00:33:57,829 --> 00:33:58,949
shocked you didn't know that

667
00:33:58,949 --> 00:34:01,529
that's why I've never been hired

668
00:34:01,529 --> 00:34:02,149
for anything

669
00:34:02,149 --> 00:34:04,449
because you did all that weird stuff as a kid

670
00:34:04,449 --> 00:34:05,089
yeah

671
00:34:05,089 --> 00:34:08,709
you were just going around being like

672
00:34:08,709 --> 00:34:09,689
I'm acting Jesus

673
00:34:09,689 --> 00:34:12,229
sorry

674
00:34:12,229 --> 00:34:14,209
I forgive you

675
00:34:14,209 --> 00:34:16,149
I'm your friend I'd hire you

676
00:34:16,149 --> 00:34:17,249
thanks

677
00:34:17,249 --> 00:34:19,169
you're not hiring

678
00:34:19,169 --> 00:34:21,109
empty words I know

679
00:34:21,109 --> 00:34:22,109
well

680
00:34:22,109 --> 00:34:24,549
tell that to IHOP

681
00:34:24,549 --> 00:34:25,989
they wouldn't hire me

682
00:34:25,989 --> 00:34:28,109
yeah I know you're on their wall

683
00:34:28,109 --> 00:34:29,549
oh you didn't know that

684
00:34:29,549 --> 00:34:30,809
it's a picture of you

685
00:34:30,809 --> 00:34:33,029
holding nuts

686
00:34:33,029 --> 00:34:35,589
Philbert's nuts

687
00:34:35,589 --> 00:34:38,129
actually Francis I'm going to have to correct you

688
00:34:38,129 --> 00:34:39,589
there isn't a picture

689
00:34:39,589 --> 00:34:41,269
of her hanging on the IHOP wall.

690
00:34:41,449 --> 00:34:44,029
It's a likeness drawn by a police sketch artist.

691
00:34:44,289 --> 00:34:45,569
She got away too fast

692
00:34:45,569 --> 00:34:46,609
before they could take a picture.

693
00:34:46,869 --> 00:34:47,969
Oh, it's just so,

694
00:34:48,069 --> 00:34:48,849
they did such a good job,

695
00:34:48,889 --> 00:34:49,829
I thought it was a photograph.

696
00:34:50,649 --> 00:34:51,669
Use expensive pencils.

697
00:34:53,129 --> 00:34:56,669
I do have very drawable features.

698
00:34:57,809 --> 00:34:59,069
I have to correct you on that.

699
00:34:59,469 --> 00:35:00,109
Oh, yep.

700
00:35:02,109 --> 00:35:05,569
You are so unique

701
00:35:05,569 --> 00:35:11,669
that they couldn't even, an artist couldn't even draw you in an art class.

702
00:35:11,829 --> 00:35:12,609
You're barely human.

703
00:35:13,449 --> 00:35:14,969
My features are so...

704
00:35:14,969 --> 00:35:15,549
Enochian.

705
00:35:15,889 --> 00:35:17,249
They're so nebulous.

706
00:35:17,509 --> 00:35:17,709
Yeah.

707
00:35:18,509 --> 00:35:18,809
Yeah.

708
00:35:19,009 --> 00:35:19,209
Yeah.

709
00:35:19,369 --> 00:35:21,789
Even sitting here across from you, sometimes I'm like, am I tripping?

710
00:35:22,169 --> 00:35:22,529
Am I on?

711
00:35:22,609 --> 00:35:23,729
Is that her?

712
00:35:23,849 --> 00:35:24,509
I can't tell.

713
00:35:24,509 --> 00:35:28,069
Is that a light being from away?

714
00:35:29,749 --> 00:35:31,789
A light being from away?

715
00:35:32,329 --> 00:35:33,829
Yeah, you probably didn't know that, but it's okay.

716
00:35:33,829 --> 00:35:36,309
actually your parents were from

717
00:35:36,309 --> 00:35:37,629
they are light beams

718
00:35:37,629 --> 00:35:39,609
from far away

719
00:35:39,609 --> 00:35:42,789
you were dropped off here much like Superman

720
00:35:42,789 --> 00:35:46,349
I gotta correct you there

721
00:35:46,349 --> 00:35:48,609
I am Superman

722
00:35:48,609 --> 00:35:50,289
I thought you looked familiar

723
00:35:50,289 --> 00:35:53,009
I don't like to advertise it

724
00:35:53,009 --> 00:35:56,409
because then everybody will want you to do things for them

725
00:35:56,409 --> 00:35:58,309
there's only one thing I would want you to do for me

726
00:35:58,309 --> 00:35:59,449
what's that?

727
00:35:59,509 --> 00:36:02,349
I'm gonna jump out of a building and I want you to just let it happen

728
00:36:02,349 --> 00:36:08,149
deal god bless you superman

729
00:36:08,149 --> 00:36:17,209
okay well we learned a lot we did learn a lot um and i'm glad we were all here to correct the record

730
00:36:17,209 --> 00:36:24,549
so now the true story is out there and and uh listeners if you think you can draw jenna

731
00:36:25,509 --> 00:36:25,989
Please.

732
00:36:26,929 --> 00:36:27,989
I dare you.

733
00:36:29,109 --> 00:36:34,229
Try and draw me and then tag us on socials at very fine friends.

734
00:36:34,429 --> 00:36:34,629
Yeah.

735
00:36:35,449 --> 00:36:36,629
And then watch your fucking back.

736
00:36:37,029 --> 00:36:37,549
Yeah.

737
00:36:38,429 --> 00:36:39,369
Coming for you.

738
00:36:39,929 --> 00:36:40,869
This is my drunk voicemail.

739
00:36:41,189 --> 00:36:43,849
You tried to make a picture of me.

740
00:36:43,989 --> 00:36:45,449
I'm coming for you.

741
00:36:45,529 --> 00:36:46,909
But then the voicemail filter hits.

742
00:36:47,589 --> 00:36:48,229
Love you, boo.

743
00:36:48,949 --> 00:36:49,869
Draw me, boo.

744
00:36:50,729 --> 00:36:51,449
Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

745
00:36:51,449 --> 00:36:57,489
the filter is just the word boo a bunch of times it's just malfunctioning

746
00:36:57,489 --> 00:37:09,489
um all right well that has been wrong i like when you teach me things thank you

747
00:37:09,489 --> 00:37:15,989
um i like when you teach me things i like learning new things yeah this um segment made

748
00:37:15,989 --> 00:37:20,949
me not want to try haggis though i can just be honest i've never had it but it seems disgusting

749
00:37:21,449 --> 00:37:22,649
Sorry, Scottish people.

750
00:37:23,609 --> 00:37:24,309
They have other food.

751
00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:25,169
Do they?

752
00:37:26,709 --> 00:37:28,289
Francis, I'm going to have to correct you.

753
00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:30,869
I don't think they do, actually.

754
00:37:31,029 --> 00:37:31,809
Oh, okay.

755
00:37:33,229 --> 00:37:35,969
All right, well, we have time for one final segment.

756
00:37:36,929 --> 00:37:40,209
That is the big question.

757
00:37:42,269 --> 00:37:42,709
Ooh.

758
00:37:44,049 --> 00:37:45,169
Thank you for reacting.

759
00:37:45,309 --> 00:37:46,509
I was actually waiting for you.

760
00:37:47,129 --> 00:37:47,329
Yeah.

761
00:37:47,589 --> 00:37:48,069
Okay.

762
00:37:48,349 --> 00:37:48,729
Boo-boo.

763
00:37:49,329 --> 00:37:50,409
I have a big question for you.

764
00:37:50,889 --> 00:37:51,129
Okay.

765
00:37:51,449 --> 00:37:59,029
let's say that you were about to go on a first date with somebody

766
00:37:59,029 --> 00:38:04,589
and you were like, maybe like texting back and forth. You're really connecting. You're like

767
00:38:04,589 --> 00:38:17,209
very excited. Um, and then at the last minute you decide I'm going to stand them up.

768
00:38:17,209 --> 00:38:22,689
you're going to ghost them right so you have a first date you don't show up for the first date

769
00:38:22,689 --> 00:38:27,049
so this person is also very surprised by this because they would have thought

770
00:38:27,049 --> 00:38:30,549
for sure that you were going to show up so

771
00:38:30,549 --> 00:38:39,329
let's say you don't get in contact with them for like you just don't show up for your date

772
00:38:39,329 --> 00:38:44,569
you set the date you set the date yourself for like a nice place like maybe a nice steakhouse

773
00:38:44,569 --> 00:38:46,869
Like this is going to be like a wonderful evening.

774
00:38:47,069 --> 00:38:49,929
They're there at the steakhouse waiting for you.

775
00:38:50,549 --> 00:38:51,689
You don't show up.

776
00:38:53,009 --> 00:38:57,709
They don't hear from you for like five or six days.

777
00:38:58,189 --> 00:38:58,549
Nothing.

778
00:39:02,409 --> 00:39:13,969
What would be your excuse where they would be not only not mad at you anymore,

779
00:39:13,969 --> 00:39:16,609
but they would want you even more

780
00:39:16,609 --> 00:39:20,349
like they would find you so alluring

781
00:39:20,349 --> 00:39:22,809
that they're like okay with the fact that you just abandoned them

782
00:39:22,809 --> 00:39:24,149
and ghosted them for like a week

783
00:39:24,149 --> 00:39:27,349
and it can't be like a family emergency or anything like that

784
00:39:27,349 --> 00:39:30,849
what excuse could you come up with

785
00:39:30,849 --> 00:39:32,909
that would make them want you even more than they did

786
00:39:32,909 --> 00:39:34,129
originally

787
00:39:34,129 --> 00:39:37,789
let's see

788
00:39:37,789 --> 00:39:39,709
what to do

789
00:39:39,709 --> 00:39:40,909
what to do

790
00:39:40,909 --> 00:39:41,289
him.

791
00:39:43,329 --> 00:39:44,789
I'm going to say

792
00:39:44,789 --> 00:39:47,089
it can't be a family emergency.

793
00:39:47,249 --> 00:39:48,349
Can't be a family emergency.

794
00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:52,369
Does it have to be verifiable?

795
00:39:53,609 --> 00:39:54,729
No. Thank God.

796
00:39:56,849 --> 00:39:59,229
Okay. Then I might say that

797
00:40:05,229 --> 00:40:05,949
I

798
00:40:05,949 --> 00:40:07,009
have had

799
00:40:07,009 --> 00:40:09,509
lifelong visions,

800
00:40:09,729 --> 00:40:10,529
which I usually ignore.

801
00:40:10,909 --> 00:40:11,909
um,

802
00:40:12,769 --> 00:40:15,789
they used to happen a lot when I was a kid and some of the stuff would like come

803
00:40:15,789 --> 00:40:19,089
true. So it started to scare me. So I started to take medication to stop my

804
00:40:19,089 --> 00:40:21,189
dreaming. Um,

805
00:40:21,489 --> 00:40:23,929
but I forgot to take my medication the other day.

806
00:40:24,189 --> 00:40:26,449
And because I had not dreamt in so long,

807
00:40:26,569 --> 00:40:30,929
I had a really powerful dream wherein I

808
00:40:30,929 --> 00:40:35,849
cured a horrible disease using science in my dream.

809
00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:37,349
But when I woke up,

810
00:40:37,349 --> 00:40:39,589
I knew that it was true and I had to get it to

811
00:40:39,589 --> 00:40:42,989
I had to get it to

812
00:40:42,989 --> 00:40:44,789
a Mongolian scientist

813
00:40:44,789 --> 00:40:46,049
because it was

814
00:40:46,049 --> 00:40:47,249
my dream was a Mongolian

815
00:40:47,249 --> 00:40:50,409
and I remembered it all

816
00:40:50,409 --> 00:40:52,049
crisply

817
00:40:52,049 --> 00:40:54,209
I had to get it to him

818
00:40:54,209 --> 00:40:57,849
so I flew to Mongolia

819
00:40:57,849 --> 00:40:59,749
I found the

820
00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:02,129
scientist

821
00:41:02,129 --> 00:41:05,629
who was the only person in the world

822
00:41:05,629 --> 00:41:06,869
working on this by the way

823
00:41:06,869 --> 00:41:08,489
that's a silent killer

824
00:41:08,489 --> 00:41:11,229
but we don't talk about it

825
00:41:11,229 --> 00:41:13,749
it's too horrible

826
00:41:13,749 --> 00:41:17,029
and anyway so I

827
00:41:17,029 --> 00:41:18,049
shared the information

828
00:41:18,049 --> 00:41:20,769
and he got to work right away

829
00:41:20,769 --> 00:41:22,409
but then I remembered like

830
00:41:22,409 --> 00:41:23,889
oh my god

831
00:41:23,889 --> 00:41:26,969
I stood up

832
00:41:26,969 --> 00:41:28,269
the love of my life potentially

833
00:41:28,269 --> 00:41:30,649
I had to get this out

834
00:41:30,649 --> 00:41:33,109
you understand that it was a choice between

835
00:41:33,109 --> 00:41:34,669
saving people

836
00:41:34,669 --> 00:41:36,629
and

837
00:41:36,629 --> 00:41:38,649
not saving people.

838
00:41:40,369 --> 00:41:42,829
But the flight to Mongolia is pretty long.

839
00:41:43,449 --> 00:41:46,169
Couldn't you have just texted or sent an email or something?

840
00:41:46,729 --> 00:41:49,229
I could only speak Mongolian.

841
00:41:49,929 --> 00:41:51,169
I couldn't write it.

842
00:41:51,749 --> 00:41:53,289
That's the thing about dream visions.

843
00:41:53,589 --> 00:41:57,069
No, no, but I mean, the flight to Mongolia is pretty long.

844
00:41:57,729 --> 00:42:02,149
Couldn't you have texted or emailed the lady or the man?

845
00:42:03,069 --> 00:42:03,589
Oh.

846
00:42:04,549 --> 00:42:05,509
No, because...

847
00:42:05,509 --> 00:42:05,769
Your date?

848
00:42:05,769 --> 00:42:07,129
Yeah, no, I see what you're saying.

849
00:42:07,209 --> 00:42:08,869
No, I couldn't do that because you don't understand.

850
00:42:08,949 --> 00:42:18,189
When you wake up with a dream vision, all I did from Phoenix to Mongolia, Mongolian International Airport, was repeat.

851
00:42:18,409 --> 00:42:20,729
Phoenix Municipal Airport to Mongolia International.

852
00:42:20,969 --> 00:42:25,389
I just repeated in Mongolia nonstop what I was going to be saying because I didn't want to forget it.

853
00:42:25,729 --> 00:42:30,349
If I took even two minutes out of that to get on my phone, I could have lost it forever.

854
00:42:30,949 --> 00:42:33,809
And then millions of people could have paid the price.

855
00:42:33,809 --> 00:42:45,089
wow uh i i well i can't wait to see the news story saying that all of these these have been

856
00:42:45,089 --> 00:42:50,069
all of these diseases have this terrible disease that we all don't talk about but we all know is

857
00:42:50,069 --> 00:42:56,669
the silent killer my grandfather has it i can't wait for him to be cured i just found out something

858
00:42:56,669 --> 00:42:59,969
black rock bought mongolia

859
00:42:59,969 --> 00:43:09,969
what why wouldn't they want to release this cure who among us could know but they're holding on to

860
00:43:09,969 --> 00:43:16,469
the information they bought it so that they could hold on to it oh my work for nothing

861
00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:23,309
i hope that you're still attracted to me because you know my heart oh and i'm banned from mongolia

862
00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:29,629
now blackrock banned you from mongolia they were worried that i would i would come back and solve

863
00:43:29,629 --> 00:43:31,629
it myself. Well, you must still

864
00:43:31,629 --> 00:43:33,669
remember the formula. You were repeating it

865
00:43:33,669 --> 00:43:35,789
nonstop for days. There was heavy turbulence

866
00:43:35,789 --> 00:43:37,569
on the flight back home and I hit

867
00:43:37,569 --> 00:43:39,409
my head on the overhead carrying

868
00:43:39,409 --> 00:43:41,069
storage bin.

869
00:43:42,169 --> 00:43:43,709
And I, all I could remember

870
00:43:43,709 --> 00:43:45,549
was a face and a name and it was yours.

871
00:43:46,829 --> 00:43:47,129
Margaret.

872
00:43:47,609 --> 00:43:49,529
Margaret. That's the only thing you could

873
00:43:49,529 --> 00:43:50,989
remember? Margaret's face.

874
00:43:51,929 --> 00:43:53,609
Yeah. So I think that means we're

875
00:43:53,609 --> 00:43:53,929
soulmates.

876
00:43:55,709 --> 00:43:56,189
So,

877
00:43:56,449 --> 00:43:59,389
you don't remember any of like our conversations?

878
00:43:59,389 --> 00:44:06,509
you just remember my name and my face my distinct face that can clearly be drawn by a police sketch

879
00:44:06,509 --> 00:44:12,349
artist uh no no that's not true because before we met up i just i hit my head on the toilet

880
00:44:12,349 --> 00:44:27,573
at the restaurant and then some of our conversations came back so it not just about your face i think you a nice person wait so you were at the restaurant and you hit your head on a toilet at the restaurant yeah i always go to the bathroom before a date and then so that so that you hit

881
00:44:27,573 --> 00:44:32,814
your head you fell asleep then in the toilet so you woke up in the bathroom of the steakhouse

882
00:44:32,814 --> 00:44:40,374
with your mongolian vision having come true or your mongolian vision then you left the steakhouse

883
00:44:40,374 --> 00:44:52,193
immediately went to the land of the mongols the mongol republic uh yeah yep then i came home

884
00:44:52,193 --> 00:44:59,013
oh and i brought you this from the airport it's a mongolian hoodie it has fur on the hood

885
00:44:59,013 --> 00:45:07,874
wow i want you even more now i did it i'm not at all concerned that you have to take

886
00:45:07,874 --> 00:45:09,654
medications to avoid having visions?

887
00:45:10,993 --> 00:45:11,674
Not anymore.

888
00:45:12,213 --> 00:45:13,933
That was the last one. That's how you know

889
00:45:13,933 --> 00:45:15,033
you're about to meet the love of your life.

890
00:45:15,693 --> 00:45:16,593
Stop having visions.

891
00:45:17,433 --> 00:45:19,473
So then if you have another vision while we're together,

892
00:45:19,674 --> 00:45:21,834
you're going to break up with me because then you know that I'm

893
00:45:21,834 --> 00:45:23,773
not the love of your life? That's what we in the men

894
00:45:23,773 --> 00:45:25,233
community call an easy out.

895
00:45:31,633 --> 00:45:31,993
Okay.

896
00:45:32,553 --> 00:45:33,394
And there you have it.

897
00:45:33,613 --> 00:45:35,613
Well, that would work. There was a man named

898
00:45:35,613 --> 00:45:37,674
Mongolia, and he saved me.

899
00:45:37,874 --> 00:45:43,593
hmm okay do you have a

900
00:45:43,593 --> 00:45:50,733
um let's see i haven't i should have thought of this because this was my question but i haven't

901
00:45:50,733 --> 00:45:52,773
thought about it too much okay that's good it'll be organic

902
00:45:52,773 --> 00:46:06,394
trevor i'm so so sorry i'm so sorry i broke off our date i you'll never believe what happened

903
00:46:06,394 --> 00:46:08,093
probably not

904
00:46:08,093 --> 00:46:10,473
I was

905
00:46:10,473 --> 00:46:12,414
right out front

906
00:46:12,414 --> 00:46:14,453
I pull up

907
00:46:14,453 --> 00:46:17,854
the valet opens the door

908
00:46:17,854 --> 00:46:18,394
for me

909
00:46:18,394 --> 00:46:20,773
and then says

910
00:46:20,773 --> 00:46:24,193
just kidding don't get out

911
00:46:24,193 --> 00:46:26,053
I'm moving you over to the

912
00:46:26,053 --> 00:46:26,874
passenger seat

913
00:46:26,874 --> 00:46:28,654
scoot over

914
00:46:28,654 --> 00:46:30,973
and then he gets in the driver's seat

915
00:46:30,973 --> 00:46:33,934
and then suddenly three of his other

916
00:46:33,934 --> 00:46:35,193
valet buddies get in the back

917
00:46:35,193 --> 00:46:49,453
and they say you're coming with us toots they said toots they said toots i was as surprised

918
00:46:49,453 --> 00:46:57,453
as you i thought that was an antiquated phrase but no they said toots and then they drove to

919
00:46:57,453 --> 00:47:04,314
a warehouse i'm tied up at this point by the way what they tied me up i have no way to get to my

920
00:47:04,314 --> 00:47:06,233
phone at all. For Valayman?

921
00:47:07,033 --> 00:47:09,394
For Valayman.

922
00:47:11,493 --> 00:47:12,993
In Valayman's terms.

923
00:47:15,573 --> 00:47:16,053
They

924
00:47:16,053 --> 00:47:20,133
had me tied up in this warehouse and then I look around

925
00:47:20,133 --> 00:47:22,914
but they didn't blindfold me so I could see everything.

926
00:47:23,814 --> 00:47:25,573
There are elaborate plans

927
00:47:25,573 --> 00:47:28,253
for a bank heist.

928
00:47:29,434 --> 00:47:29,953
Right?

929
00:47:31,513 --> 00:47:32,633
Okay, thank God.

930
00:47:32,633 --> 00:47:33,154
Yeah.

931
00:47:33,693 --> 00:47:35,013
That this was going somewhere else.

932
00:47:35,133 --> 00:47:35,374
No.

933
00:47:36,093 --> 00:47:36,374
Okay.

934
00:47:36,533 --> 00:47:44,013
So, and then they were like, you're the only one that can help us with this bank heist.

935
00:47:44,493 --> 00:47:45,053
Why?

936
00:47:46,814 --> 00:47:52,854
Because I have indistinct features that can't be captured by a police sketch artist.

937
00:47:53,934 --> 00:47:58,213
So, and also because I'm a woman, it distracts.

938
00:47:59,354 --> 00:48:00,533
People don't see it coming.

939
00:48:00,533 --> 00:48:05,814
They don't see bank heists coming from a lady, which we can get back to whether or not that's sexist later.

940
00:48:05,934 --> 00:48:06,473
That's fine.

941
00:48:07,553 --> 00:48:08,334
I'm not interested.

942
00:48:08,453 --> 00:48:08,773
Go on.

943
00:48:10,654 --> 00:48:11,934
Yeah, I'm not either.

944
00:48:12,894 --> 00:48:18,253
So we spend four days prepping.

945
00:48:18,374 --> 00:48:24,533
And then they also, they say, if you don't do this, Trevor dies.

946
00:48:25,374 --> 00:48:25,953
Me, Trevor?

947
00:48:26,154 --> 00:48:26,814
You, Trevor.

948
00:48:27,533 --> 00:48:28,593
Well, so what am I going to do?

949
00:48:28,593 --> 00:48:40,213
not heist a bank so we spend four days going over all the plans it's almost foolproof

950
00:48:40,213 --> 00:48:47,773
i would say probably foolproof i'm a little worried though because um our getaway car

951
00:48:47,773 --> 00:48:52,633
has a squeaky door that's like a really like one of those really loud squeaky doors it draws a lot

952
00:48:52,633 --> 00:48:57,133
of attention so i'm worried about bystanders you think the valets would have been a little more

953
00:48:57,133 --> 00:48:58,374
attuned to something like this.

954
00:48:58,374 --> 00:48:59,654
I'm starting to think they weren't really valets.

955
00:48:59,874 --> 00:49:01,314
Well, they might not have been.

956
00:49:04,914 --> 00:49:06,753
They had the vests for it,

957
00:49:07,253 --> 00:49:08,473
but, you know, who knows?

958
00:49:08,613 --> 00:49:10,673
Super exclusive valet vests, yeah.

959
00:49:11,493 --> 00:49:12,434
It's hard to fake.

960
00:49:12,613 --> 00:49:13,173
Go on.

961
00:49:15,113 --> 00:49:16,613
So, anyway,

962
00:49:17,613 --> 00:49:18,854
thankfully,

963
00:49:19,613 --> 00:49:20,713
we pull off this heist,

964
00:49:20,973 --> 00:49:22,854
we get all the rubies.

965
00:49:24,693 --> 00:49:25,493
At the bank?

966
00:49:25,613 --> 00:49:26,173
At the bank.

967
00:49:26,173 --> 00:49:33,874
that's what we were stealing rubies rubies this bank had a in particular had a whole section of

968
00:49:33,874 --> 00:49:40,713
its safety deposit boxes were just gemstones and clearly labeled as such yes yeah well they

969
00:49:40,713 --> 00:49:45,693
color-coded them which seemed oh they thought they were being slick yeah okay like oh what's

970
00:49:45,693 --> 00:49:52,113
in this emerald box i wonder but they only wanted the rubies to be fair the rubies were in the

971
00:49:52,113 --> 00:49:58,273
emerald box so there was a little bit of misdirection well yes but you had intelligence on

972
00:49:58,273 --> 00:50:03,513
that sounds like that was like that's actually where i came in when i was like it's probably a

973
00:50:03,513 --> 00:50:09,794
misdirect and the valetmen were like no we're the professional heisters leave this to us and

974
00:50:09,794 --> 00:50:17,314
then they opened the ruby box and inside cubic zirconia so i just want to kind of clarify one

975
00:50:17,314 --> 00:50:24,553
quick point yeah nothing bad happened because they didn't listen to you no and they could have

976
00:50:24,553 --> 00:50:29,693
just as easily not brought you and then opened both containers no no no because then because we

977
00:50:29,693 --> 00:50:35,713
managed to sneak in without anybody noticing but the getting out was the hard part so they were

978
00:50:35,713 --> 00:50:45,233
like this is where you come in you have to come out of the vault the where the safety deposit boxes

979
00:50:45,233 --> 00:50:53,314
are and you need to act like you just came out of a coma that you were trapped in the bank no one

980
00:50:53,314 --> 00:51:01,934
knew and then while you're creating this kind of distraction then they they'll escape so this

981
00:51:01,934 --> 00:51:09,013
heist took place during banking hours yes that's why see no one saw it coming they assumed heists

982
00:51:09,013 --> 00:51:15,173
of this nature happen at night that's where i came in which was kind of the genius part of

983
00:51:15,173 --> 00:51:23,874
this plan so four men in a vest and you walked into the vault and that was cool no but then you

984
00:51:23,874 --> 00:51:32,553
came out in a coma yes well i came out as if in a daze going what where have i been for the last

985
00:51:32,553 --> 00:51:39,573
would get someone get me a newspaper i look at the newspaper and and oh no what what day is it

986
00:51:39,573 --> 00:51:44,233
Oh, no, 20, that can't be 20, 25?

987
00:51:44,934 --> 00:51:48,434
But it was closer to 1925 when the last I remember.

988
00:51:49,713 --> 00:51:57,233
And then I'm, and everyone's swarming around me because this is fascinating because I still look young, but I'm talking about basically being like close to 100 years old.

989
00:51:57,233 --> 00:51:58,233
Who's this colonial woman?

990
00:51:58,414 --> 00:51:58,973
Yeah, exactly.

991
00:51:59,453 --> 00:52:02,173
And then the valet men don't run.

992
00:52:02,354 --> 00:52:04,953
They casually walk out.

993
00:52:04,953 --> 00:52:07,273
because if you run that makes

994
00:52:07,273 --> 00:52:09,213
more of a

995
00:52:09,213 --> 00:52:11,894
it's more noticeable so they walk

996
00:52:11,894 --> 00:52:12,834
casually out

997
00:52:12,834 --> 00:52:14,874
left you there alone?

998
00:52:15,133 --> 00:52:17,773
well no they left me with the people in the bank

999
00:52:17,773 --> 00:52:19,493
and then I went

1000
00:52:19,493 --> 00:52:20,434
to

1001
00:52:20,434 --> 00:52:23,654
the hospital got checked out

1002
00:52:23,654 --> 00:52:26,133
and

1003
00:52:26,133 --> 00:52:29,473
the hospital was like

1004
00:52:29,473 --> 00:52:31,894
oh no I don't know there's nothing showing up on your scans

1005
00:52:31,894 --> 00:52:33,874
you must be

1006
00:52:33,874 --> 00:52:41,993
fine you're free to go oh also uh this was delivered to you at the front desk the delivery

1007
00:52:41,993 --> 00:52:50,133
my phone and then the second i picked that thing up i called you trevor right away right away so

1008
00:52:50,133 --> 00:52:57,733
wow and also now i have enough rubies to keep you in a lavish lifestyle

1009
00:52:57,733 --> 00:53:00,653
to which you'll quickly become accustomed.

1010
00:53:01,814 --> 00:53:08,394
I was going to ask how you helping a heist would make me love you more,

1011
00:53:08,454 --> 00:53:09,454
but now I see the angle.

1012
00:53:10,213 --> 00:53:11,193
That's how it will.

1013
00:53:11,973 --> 00:53:12,414
Okay.

1014
00:53:14,653 --> 00:53:16,294
I love you.

1015
00:53:16,954 --> 00:53:18,013
I knew you would.

1016
00:53:18,673 --> 00:53:19,773
Thank you for the rubies.

1017
00:53:20,753 --> 00:53:21,394
That's okay.

1018
00:53:21,454 --> 00:53:21,894
You're welcome.

1019
00:53:22,794 --> 00:53:23,073
Huh?

1020
00:53:25,053 --> 00:53:25,593
All right.

1021
00:53:25,653 --> 00:53:27,454
So I think we both successfully did that.

1022
00:53:27,454 --> 00:53:28,153
Yeah, that's interesting.

1023
00:53:29,073 --> 00:53:30,693
I'm never going to trust a valet person again.

1024
00:53:31,473 --> 00:53:32,273
Nor should you.

1025
00:53:32,493 --> 00:53:33,233
Give me the keys to your come.

1026
00:53:33,273 --> 00:53:34,253
Like, where are the other three?

1027
00:53:35,334 --> 00:53:37,334
How come you're not tying me up right now?

1028
00:53:38,753 --> 00:53:39,473
Okay, beautiful.

1029
00:53:40,213 --> 00:53:44,573
All right, well, I think that wraps up the big question.

1030
00:53:44,593 --> 00:53:45,314
I like that question.

1031
00:53:45,934 --> 00:53:46,394
Thank you.

1032
00:53:46,513 --> 00:53:47,834
I like scams and heists.

1033
00:53:48,193 --> 00:53:49,773
Yeah, they're fun.

1034
00:53:49,773 --> 00:53:50,973
I like lying to people.

1035
00:53:52,113 --> 00:53:54,993
All right, well, time for one final thing.

1036
00:53:56,314 --> 00:53:57,414
Secret words.

1037
00:53:57,454 --> 00:54:02,253
I definitely saw you writing some things down.

1038
00:54:02,454 --> 00:54:03,454
Yeah, but...

1039
00:54:04,213 --> 00:54:05,993
I have no faith left in myself.

1040
00:54:07,973 --> 00:54:09,414
Can you just guess first?

1041
00:54:09,693 --> 00:54:09,954
Okay.

1042
00:54:12,033 --> 00:54:12,553
God.

1043
00:54:13,593 --> 00:54:14,334
My first guest...

1044
00:54:14,334 --> 00:54:15,713
I can't lose three weeks in a row.

1045
00:54:16,314 --> 00:54:17,454
My first guest...

1046
00:54:18,973 --> 00:54:20,113
My first guest?

1047
00:54:21,553 --> 00:54:22,553
On tonight's show.

1048
00:54:22,553 --> 00:54:22,954
It's Trevor!

1049
00:54:23,454 --> 00:54:23,894
Yay!

1050
00:54:24,334 --> 00:54:26,773
My first guest is...

1051
00:54:27,454 --> 00:54:28,294
Windpipe?

1052
00:54:30,073 --> 00:54:32,253
No, that would have been really sneaky on my end.

1053
00:54:32,354 --> 00:54:32,573
Yeah.

1054
00:54:33,113 --> 00:54:34,294
Yeah, no, that's not it.

1055
00:54:35,374 --> 00:54:35,814
Wronged.

1056
00:54:38,753 --> 00:54:44,193
My second guess is abundantly.

1057
00:54:46,053 --> 00:54:46,954
Decoy word.

1058
00:54:46,954 --> 00:54:47,334
No!

1059
00:54:49,473 --> 00:54:50,073
No!

1060
00:54:50,753 --> 00:54:51,133
Yay!

1061
00:54:51,993 --> 00:54:53,053
He's back, ladies.

1062
00:54:53,973 --> 00:54:55,854
Oh, dang it.

1063
00:54:55,914 --> 00:54:56,374
Weehee.

1064
00:54:56,374 --> 00:54:58,414
This is the danger of guessing.

1065
00:54:58,653 --> 00:55:00,673
I should have just stopped after I got windpipe wrong.

1066
00:55:00,673 --> 00:55:01,894
Well, no, because you want to get it right.

1067
00:55:02,093 --> 00:55:04,033
I do want to get it right, but I was worried.

1068
00:55:04,133 --> 00:55:06,133
I was a little bit worried about abundantly.

1069
00:55:06,414 --> 00:55:08,593
I don't even remember now the context in which you said it.

1070
00:55:08,894 --> 00:55:09,334
Your invention.

1071
00:55:09,493 --> 00:55:10,394
You made it abundantly clear.

1072
00:55:10,573 --> 00:55:12,213
Yes, you said it multiple times, too.

1073
00:55:12,314 --> 00:55:12,773
Yes, I did.

1074
00:55:12,934 --> 00:55:13,294
Dang it.

1075
00:55:13,414 --> 00:55:16,073
That should have been the trigger to me that it wasn't your real word.

1076
00:55:16,093 --> 00:55:17,173
That you were saying it abundantly.

1077
00:55:17,334 --> 00:55:19,213
Yeah, the fact that you said it abundantly.

1078
00:55:19,993 --> 00:55:20,213
Yeah.

1079
00:55:20,854 --> 00:55:21,693
Any of these still count?

1080
00:55:22,213 --> 00:55:22,733
I'm kidding.

1081
00:55:23,434 --> 00:55:24,053
Okay, great.

1082
00:55:24,053 --> 00:55:24,513
What do you got?

1083
00:55:24,633 --> 00:55:25,033
Then boom.

1084
00:55:25,173 --> 00:55:25,434
Gotcha.

1085
00:55:25,894 --> 00:55:26,213
Dang it.

1086
00:55:26,374 --> 00:55:32,814
my real word yeah was indeterminate oh

1087
00:55:32,814 --> 00:55:41,193
i don't remember but i know i did are you sure i'm quite sure i feel like i did hear that word

1088
00:55:41,193 --> 00:55:47,334
yeah okay all right yeah i could have missed it i just i didn't you did miss it i'm standing firm

1089
00:55:47,334 --> 00:55:55,053
in my i'm confident he said it at a time indeterminate hey your confidence is abundantly

1090
00:55:55,053 --> 00:55:57,033
clear. Suckers.

1091
00:55:57,814 --> 00:55:59,053
Okay, I'm worried because I

1092
00:55:59,053 --> 00:56:01,113
said this word

1093
00:56:01,113 --> 00:56:03,193
and so I'm nervous about it now

1094
00:56:03,193 --> 00:56:05,013
because I don't want it to be right. Are you smiling

1095
00:56:05,013 --> 00:56:06,153
because I did it?

1096
00:56:06,894 --> 00:56:07,173
Sorry.

1097
00:56:07,934 --> 00:56:10,713
I remember you repeating a word.

1098
00:56:10,834 --> 00:56:11,093
Oh, sorry.

1099
00:56:13,354 --> 00:56:14,513
The word was intriguing.

1100
00:56:16,533 --> 00:56:18,394
That is not my word. Or your decoy word?

1101
00:56:18,773 --> 00:56:19,934
It's not my decoy word either.

1102
00:56:21,493 --> 00:56:22,834
I'm really worried about this one

1103
00:56:22,834 --> 00:56:23,633
because you're sneaky.

1104
00:56:23,633 --> 00:56:26,093
I'm gonna say stockings

1105
00:56:26,093 --> 00:56:28,874
Stockings?

1106
00:56:29,673 --> 00:56:32,133
No, that is actually a word that I have had before

1107
00:56:32,133 --> 00:56:33,093
As my secret word

1108
00:56:33,093 --> 00:56:35,874
Stockings is a word that was my secret word

1109
00:56:35,874 --> 00:56:39,053
Remember the Rainforest Cafe incident?

1110
00:56:39,753 --> 00:56:40,513
And I had to make

1111
00:56:40,513 --> 00:56:42,713
I had to make Rebecca with a K

1112
00:56:42,713 --> 00:56:43,233
Frumpy

1113
00:56:43,233 --> 00:56:45,273
She had white stockings

1114
00:56:45,273 --> 00:56:45,533
Yeah

1115
00:56:45,533 --> 00:56:48,533
Okay, my last guess is withering

1116
00:56:48,533 --> 00:56:49,794
Because you said a withering look

1117
00:56:49,794 --> 00:56:52,633
Yes, that was my word

1118
00:56:52,633 --> 00:56:53,334
Are you serious?

1119
00:56:53,633 --> 00:56:56,713
I knew you were going to guess it too because I saw you write it down.

1120
00:56:57,113 --> 00:56:58,033
Although, I don't know.

1121
00:56:58,273 --> 00:57:00,434
That was like, I thought the perfect application.

1122
00:57:00,454 --> 00:57:00,834
It was.

1123
00:57:00,894 --> 00:57:02,354
That's why I was like, I don't know if this will be it.

1124
00:57:02,693 --> 00:57:03,653
You guys.

1125
00:57:04,273 --> 00:57:06,053
Well, can you guess my decoy word?

1126
00:57:07,334 --> 00:57:08,613
For an extra point?

1127
00:57:09,513 --> 00:57:10,713
Can you give me the segment?

1128
00:57:12,113 --> 00:57:12,973
The big question?

1129
00:57:14,073 --> 00:57:14,633
No, no.

1130
00:57:14,753 --> 00:57:16,454
It was in wrong.

1131
00:57:17,073 --> 00:57:17,954
It was during wronged?

1132
00:57:18,954 --> 00:57:19,314
Wrong.

1133
00:57:19,613 --> 00:57:19,854
Wrong.

1134
00:57:19,854 --> 00:57:20,314
Not wronged.

1135
00:57:20,713 --> 00:57:21,334
Oh, wronged.

1136
00:57:21,513 --> 00:57:22,894
I'm sorry to correct you, Francis.

1137
00:57:22,894 --> 00:57:23,874
It's wrong.

1138
00:57:25,374 --> 00:57:26,693
I'm going to say

1139
00:57:26,693 --> 00:57:30,693
that your decoy word was

1140
00:57:30,693 --> 00:57:35,753
haggis.

1141
00:57:36,493 --> 00:57:38,213
No, that would have been great.

1142
00:57:38,334 --> 00:57:40,193
I really laid it on thick with the haggis.

1143
00:57:40,814 --> 00:57:42,253
No, it was fascination.

1144
00:57:43,053 --> 00:57:43,613
Oh.

1145
00:57:44,394 --> 00:57:46,454
It said people look on it with fascination.

1146
00:57:46,513 --> 00:57:46,713
Oh.

1147
00:57:47,973 --> 00:57:48,533
Yeah.

1148
00:57:50,073 --> 00:57:52,193
Which I felt was a little too subtle, actually,

1149
00:57:52,193 --> 00:57:53,513
to be a good use of my decoy word.

1150
00:57:53,513 --> 00:57:54,973
I'm so pleased right now.

1151
00:57:55,153 --> 00:57:56,294
Oh, well, good.

1152
00:57:57,053 --> 00:57:59,334
Glad someone's happy he's still in first.

1153
00:57:59,334 --> 00:58:01,553
You said my decoy and I got your word.

1154
00:58:01,673 --> 00:58:02,374
Yeah, great.

1155
00:58:04,434 --> 00:58:05,454
No, what?

1156
00:58:06,013 --> 00:58:06,414
Are we?

1157
00:58:06,673 --> 00:58:08,593
Yeah, because he guessed.

1158
00:58:09,753 --> 00:58:11,133
Francis guessed your word

1159
00:58:11,133 --> 00:58:14,593
and he guessed Francis' decoy word.

1160
00:58:15,533 --> 00:58:16,673
No, that's bad that she said,

1161
00:58:16,794 --> 00:58:18,193
because she didn't say this is your decoy word.

1162
00:58:18,253 --> 00:58:19,153
She guessed the word.

1163
00:58:20,593 --> 00:58:21,013
No, no.

1164
00:58:21,013 --> 00:58:22,434
Yeah, no, that's what I mean.

1165
00:58:22,513 --> 00:58:24,713
You guessed my word, that's two points for you.

1166
00:58:24,753 --> 00:58:25,334
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1167
00:58:25,414 --> 00:58:28,894
And then I said you're a decoy word, that's another point for you.

1168
00:58:28,973 --> 00:58:31,013
So you're plus three and I am...

1169
00:58:31,653 --> 00:58:31,973
Yeah.

1170
00:58:32,753 --> 00:58:33,894
That's the whole point of the decoy word.

1171
00:58:35,934 --> 00:58:36,374
Well.

1172
00:58:36,553 --> 00:58:37,113
Never mind.

1173
00:58:37,914 --> 00:58:38,894
What a great day.

1174
00:58:39,414 --> 00:58:42,113
All right, well, I guess that's it.

1175
00:58:42,334 --> 00:58:43,414
I'm sad now.

1176
00:58:43,794 --> 00:58:44,374
Don't be sad.

1177
00:58:44,713 --> 00:58:46,113
We'll write a letter to...

1178
00:58:46,113 --> 00:58:46,633
Congress.

1179
00:58:46,753 --> 00:58:47,314
Mr. Patinkin.

1180
00:58:47,314 --> 00:58:48,073
Oh, yeah.

1181
00:58:49,394 --> 00:58:50,354
President Santa.

1182
00:58:51,013 --> 00:58:52,513
All right.

1183
00:58:52,593 --> 00:58:56,673
Well, Mandy, if you're listening, and I know you are, you're about to get some letters.

1184
00:58:57,753 --> 00:58:58,434
All right.

1185
00:58:59,753 --> 00:59:00,693
That's it, everybody.

1186
00:59:01,294 --> 00:59:01,673
Bye.

1187
00:59:01,673 --> 00:59:01,993
Bye.