1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:20,160
tell us about your dream oh yeah so it's a two-part first part it's just a really strange

2
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:25,540
brief thing it happens um i realized i needed to shave so i looked in the mirror but my facial hair

3
00:00:25,540 --> 00:00:27,040
was very puby.

4
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:28,260
Okay.

5
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,260
Like, it was wispy and puby.

6
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,780
And I remember it was like a different color.

7
00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:33,520
And I was like, what the hell?

8
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,080
Classic dream stuff.

9
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,220
I'm like, I can't leave the house like this.

10
00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:38,960
So then my dream morphed.

11
00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:39,780
Here's where it gets really weird.

12
00:00:41,940 --> 00:00:44,580
I dreamed that I was asked to play

13
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:46,800
in the NBA championship game.

14
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,880
Okay, well, that's normal thus far.

15
00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:50,320
Go on.

16
00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:52,420
Well, here's where it gets twisty.

17
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:53,000
Okay.

18
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,400
the way it works is

19
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,220
I don't know if you know this

20
00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:59,040
that

21
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,600
one player from the other team

22
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,540
has to switch and play for the other team

23
00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,540
so my friends were like

24
00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:07,720
Francis will play for the other team

25
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,740
so I was like you guys

26
00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:11,660
so I was going over there to play

27
00:01:11,660 --> 00:01:14,020
and I was like in my head I'm like I don't know how to play basketball

28
00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:16,420
don't tell the NBA that

29
00:01:16,420 --> 00:01:18,280
I can't tell anyone this

30
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,060
and then whoever it was came from there

31
00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:20,840
like where's your pants

32
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:26,860
it's like what do you mean like it's standard rules you have to wear pants over your shorts

33
00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:32,620
so it's like i didn't know that rule and i'm like hold on let me see if i have it in my duffel and

34
00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:37,380
i opened my duffel and there was pants i'm like i have pants oh thank god so you can play in the

35
00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:43,080
nba championship game that one single game that they play for the championship

36
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:54,200
anyway

37
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,480
I see your pants

38
00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:00,900
I put my pants on

39
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:02,700
I put my pants on

40
00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:05,620
and I was like okay I'm ready to go

41
00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,780
and I was still like I don't know how I'm gonna play this

42
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:10,020
and then right before I went out she was like

43
00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:11,240
where's your hat

44
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:18,020
i don't have a hat she's like you have to have a hat so i was like

45
00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:25,620
okay i'll go back in the bag the duffel i did but all i had was a like a wooden like

46
00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:29,540
acacia salad bowl like a big serving bowl and she was like that'll work

47
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:40,240
you just needed something to cover your head so i walked out there in my pants in my salad bowl

48
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:51,000
and i made a point one single point just like they score points in the regular nba

49
00:02:51,000 --> 00:03:00,620
yeah it was oh i forgot to say one thing right before we played my my captain came out

50
00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:05,340
i was like captain your captain like yeah he's like how's it going over here and i was like

51
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:11,040
this lady's giving me a hard time about my pants and my hat and he like called her he's like yo

52
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:15,880
what the fuck and i was like dude no no no we're cool now like okay he's like okay well i'm glad

53
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:20,840
that he was willing to go to bat for you yeah and he was like no willing to go to ball right i'm

54
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:28,520
sorry i i'm so sorry every other detail of this dream has been so nba accurate i can't believe i

55
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:35,820
messed it up with a baseball reference oh my goodness i'm so embarrassed i gotta go oh anyway

56
00:03:35,820 --> 00:03:37,180
that was it

57
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:40,280
welcome to friends like us

58
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:43,960
bonus episode

59
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,480
bonus

60
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:50,580
well see this is the kind of stuff

61
00:03:50,580 --> 00:03:51,580
that gets saved

62
00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:54,200
just for you dear subscribers

63
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,720
you don't think we don't talk about

64
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:57,660
dreams

65
00:03:57,660 --> 00:04:00,540
with just any

66
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,560
old podcast listener

67
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:03,740
oh no

68
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:13,100
you gotta subscribe for that content uh well great dream francis thanks babe

69
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:21,340
how have you been pretty good i've been getting my eight eight hours of sleep nice

70
00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:30,700
yeah i do people call it that getting your eight yeah yeah that's the goal man i don't know cool

71
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:36,560
people that say get my eight well i guess i do i know you you say it well most people don't get

72
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:41,660
get it that's why oh they can't say it that makes sense that's why i've never heard it do you get

73
00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:50,580
your eight uh yeah i i do i get my eight most times i shoot for getting my nine actually the

74
00:04:50,580 --> 00:04:59,020
um i have lucky that i get enough sleep and i get that panic feel when i you know when you set

75
00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:01,840
your alarm and it tells you how much time before the alarm goes off.

76
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:02,840
Yeah.

77
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:08,620
If it's below nine hours when I set that alarm, I get like a little bit like,

78
00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:11,920
oh, if it's below eight, I'm like, crap, I gotta hurry up and sleep.

79
00:05:12,740 --> 00:05:14,620
So you sound really healthy.

80
00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:16,240
Thank you.

81
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:27,413
I make up for it in other ways but I dehealth myself in other ways That good because balance is the key to happiness I don want to be one of those people Well imagine when you old

82
00:05:28,213 --> 00:05:28,913
Go on.

83
00:05:29,893 --> 00:05:31,573
I won't be a doddering old woman.

84
00:05:31,653 --> 00:05:32,053
No, no, no.

85
00:05:32,053 --> 00:05:32,733
We've established this.

86
00:05:32,793 --> 00:05:33,353
I'll kill you.

87
00:05:33,813 --> 00:05:34,413
That's right.

88
00:05:34,573 --> 00:05:35,713
I'll never make it that far.

89
00:05:36,573 --> 00:05:38,773
The older you get, the less sleep apparently you need.

90
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:40,773
So old people are like cats.

91
00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,693
That's where the term catnap comes from.

92
00:05:44,853 --> 00:05:45,173
They...

93
00:05:45,173 --> 00:05:45,373
What?

94
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,993
I thought the term catnap came from cats napping.

95
00:05:49,993 --> 00:05:51,133
They learn from the elderly.

96
00:05:52,073 --> 00:05:53,573
Oh, okay.

97
00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:58,193
So do cats call it old napping?

98
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,833
That sounds like you're stealing old people.

99
00:06:00,833 --> 00:06:04,733
I was going to say, but then is kid napping, is that like sleeping like a kid?

100
00:06:05,853 --> 00:06:06,733
Kitten napping.

101
00:06:08,013 --> 00:06:11,613
We're not going to get into the etymology of that, but let's just say it's cat related.

102
00:06:11,613 --> 00:06:16,333
so i like to think kidnapping originally was just kids having

103
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:22,113
sleep time but then it turned out then adults figured out that was the best time to steal them

104
00:06:22,113 --> 00:06:28,273
yeah i was gonna say like opportune moment kidnap kidnap well that's we i think we just

105
00:06:28,273 --> 00:06:33,873
backed into the etymology of that word listeners no need to look it up that is 100 where that term

106
00:06:33,873 --> 00:06:38,773
came from if you do look it up we will kick you off the feed and we'll keep taking your money

107
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,793
And we'll know if you look it up.

108
00:06:41,253 --> 00:06:42,713
Don't you dare look it up.

109
00:06:42,853 --> 00:06:43,573
Don't look behind you either.

110
00:06:44,353 --> 00:06:45,373
Yeah, that's us.

111
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:46,513
Shh.

112
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:47,833
Francis, be quiet.

113
00:06:48,053 --> 00:06:48,653
They can't hear us.

114
00:06:48,673 --> 00:06:49,033
I'm trying.

115
00:06:50,313 --> 00:06:52,113
Oh no, they hear your ice.

116
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:58,733
Okay, well, today we're talking about the purge.

117
00:06:58,873 --> 00:06:59,153
Oh yeah.

118
00:07:00,673 --> 00:07:00,973
Yeah.

119
00:07:01,913 --> 00:07:07,773
Specifically, if there was a purge scenario, what would we do?

120
00:07:07,773 --> 00:07:10,753
Well, first, we need to establish would you play or not?

121
00:07:10,893 --> 00:07:11,393
Okay, yeah.

122
00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:17,133
Well, first, for those who don't know, The Purge is a movie series.

123
00:07:17,593 --> 00:07:22,473
The idea being that there's one day every year where crime is legal.

124
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:23,053
Any crime.

125
00:07:23,253 --> 00:07:25,093
Any crime is legal for like 12 hours.

126
00:07:25,213 --> 00:07:27,393
It's like from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. or something like that.

127
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:28,133
You only get 12?

128
00:07:28,313 --> 00:07:29,713
I think it's like a nighttime thing.

129
00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:31,333
Oh, man, I thought it was a 24-hour thing.

130
00:07:31,853 --> 00:07:35,173
No, you get some lunch, do a little murder.

131
00:07:35,313 --> 00:07:36,033
We're going to have to hurry.

132
00:07:36,033 --> 00:07:37,273
Yeah, I know, yeah.

133
00:07:37,773 --> 00:07:40,733
No, I think it's like a sundown, sunup situation.

134
00:07:40,733 --> 00:07:41,433
Oh, that's scary.

135
00:07:41,553 --> 00:07:42,713
I don't want to commit crime at night.

136
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:44,593
I want it in the daytime when I'm not afraid.

137
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,133
Well, we can maybe shift the hours.

138
00:07:49,253 --> 00:07:51,173
We can make it 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.

139
00:07:51,213 --> 00:07:52,193
No, don't do it for me.

140
00:07:52,493 --> 00:07:52,773
Okay.

141
00:07:53,153 --> 00:07:56,473
Because, yeah, you might be the only one that wants this.

142
00:07:56,653 --> 00:07:56,913
Okay.

143
00:07:57,833 --> 00:08:01,313
So, anyway, all crime is legal for whatever set period of time.

144
00:08:01,453 --> 00:08:01,693
Okay.

145
00:08:02,153 --> 00:08:03,873
I think in the movies it was like at 12 hours.

146
00:08:03,873 --> 00:08:05,253
We'll stick with what they did then.

147
00:08:05,253 --> 00:08:05,373
Yeah.

148
00:08:05,373 --> 00:08:05,653
Yeah.

149
00:08:06,993 --> 00:08:13,773
So now that we all know what the purge is, what kind of crimes would we commit?

150
00:08:16,473 --> 00:08:18,333
Well, first I'd start with.

151
00:08:19,413 --> 00:08:20,933
You ever been to a smash room?

152
00:08:21,473 --> 00:08:22,013
Like a rage room?

153
00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:23,493
No, I don't.

154
00:08:23,593 --> 00:08:24,433
I mean, I nodded.

155
00:08:24,813 --> 00:08:30,573
I was nodding, as the listeners could tell, because I know what you're talking about, but I've not been to one.

156
00:08:30,713 --> 00:08:32,033
OK, well, that's fun and all.

157
00:08:32,273 --> 00:08:32,453
Yeah.

158
00:08:32,893 --> 00:08:33,673
But it's allowed.

159
00:08:34,453 --> 00:08:34,853
Boo.

160
00:08:34,853 --> 00:08:39,693
I want, first I'm going to go out and I'm going to break windows in shops.

161
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,013
Oh, okay.

162
00:08:41,193 --> 00:08:44,253
Just to watch the glass fall and to hear a break and to know that I'm safe.

163
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,393
Do you have any particular shops in mind?

164
00:08:46,573 --> 00:08:47,653
Do I have a vendetta?

165
00:08:47,993 --> 00:08:48,173
Yeah.

166
00:08:48,533 --> 00:08:50,433
Do you have a, it's okay.

167
00:08:50,553 --> 00:08:53,173
This is subscriber only and the shops probably don't subscribe.

168
00:08:53,193 --> 00:08:55,373
They don't subscribe because they're away.

169
00:08:56,933 --> 00:09:00,473
I would say, no, what's that store?

170
00:09:00,593 --> 00:09:00,833
Express.

171
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:03,133
Oh, oh, okay.

172
00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:03,493
Yeah.

173
00:09:03,493 --> 00:09:07,833
This is mostly store sizing trauma related.

174
00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:10,973
Okay.

175
00:09:11,213 --> 00:09:11,993
Banana Republic.

176
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:12,853
I know you're listening.

177
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,433
Don't tell Express.

178
00:09:15,093 --> 00:09:15,973
Oh, they know each other?

179
00:09:16,073 --> 00:09:16,973
They know each other.

180
00:09:17,173 --> 00:09:20,733
They're like, it's like Express.

181
00:09:21,253 --> 00:09:23,193
It's kind of a clinger to Banana Republic.

182
00:09:23,553 --> 00:09:23,773
Oh.

183
00:09:24,033 --> 00:09:24,253
Yeah.

184
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:27,893
Like Banana Republic is nice though, because they've known Express for a really long time.

185
00:09:27,973 --> 00:09:31,093
And so that's like, it's, you know, it's a friend that you can't get rid of.

186
00:09:31,093 --> 00:09:32,593
at this point. Oh, so Banana Express is like

187
00:09:32,593 --> 00:09:34,513
they're too nice.

188
00:09:34,713 --> 00:09:36,633
They're too nice. They just tolerate it.

189
00:09:37,413 --> 00:09:38,773
Oh, did I say Banana Express?

190
00:09:39,973 --> 00:09:41,053
Yes. Oh, maybe

191
00:09:41,053 --> 00:09:42,673
you did. I didn't notice. New gay bar idea.

192
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,933
Banana Republic is, yeah, they're just

193
00:09:46,933 --> 00:09:48,913
so Banana Republic, don't

194
00:09:48,913 --> 00:09:50,913
tell Express that they're first for the

195
00:09:50,913 --> 00:09:52,893
window smashing. Yeah. Sorry.

196
00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:54,873
Go on. That's okay. I just wanted to say

197
00:09:54,873 --> 00:09:55,853
mostly it would be

198
00:09:55,853 --> 00:09:58,993
smashing crimes and like

199
00:09:58,993 --> 00:10:00,953
tire slashing crimes and

200
00:10:00,953 --> 00:10:07,513
graffiti crimes okay but you said you don't want to do a smash room because it's allowed

201
00:10:07,513 --> 00:10:13,653
so it loses the appeal for you you gotta pay for that oh okay okay because the the purge it's also

202
00:10:13,653 --> 00:10:18,833
yeah that's true that's a good point oh yeah but people but other people don't like there's a lot

203
00:10:18,833 --> 00:10:25,313
of people who are home like oh god i don't want this to happen i'm scared and i'm out in the

204
00:10:25,313 --> 00:10:31,713
street like yeah they can hear it in the living room they're like oh god i hope he's not coming

205
00:10:31,713 --> 00:10:37,373
he's coming thank god this is the daytime and not the night i didn't mean even more scared

206
00:10:37,373 --> 00:10:49,185
i love a good daytime purge yeah what would you do um the movies there a lot of murder and stuff which is weird to me

207
00:10:49,285 --> 00:10:53,705
That implies that a lot of people are walking around with homicidal tendencies that they just don't act on.

208
00:10:53,925 --> 00:10:54,625
I think that's true.

209
00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:56,045
I don't think that's true.

210
00:10:57,045 --> 00:11:01,045
I think the people that are homicidal generally...

211
00:11:01,045 --> 00:11:02,045
Do it?

212
00:11:02,265 --> 00:11:03,165
They think they generally...

213
00:11:03,165 --> 00:11:04,145
They're not waiting for the purge?

214
00:11:04,525 --> 00:11:05,625
No, I don't think so.

215
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:09,325
Francis, did you just find out that you're a lot different from other people?

216
00:11:10,645 --> 00:11:15,445
Is this the moment you found out that your homicidal urges actually are a weird thing?

217
00:11:15,525 --> 00:11:17,225
No, I get all my aggression on the court.

218
00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:18,645
That's right.

219
00:11:20,005 --> 00:11:25,545
You take it to the outside of the key for one of those one-pointers that you shoot.

220
00:11:26,305 --> 00:11:28,785
Yeah, and then when I'm done, everyone has salads out of my hat.

221
00:11:31,205 --> 00:11:35,225
The most violent crime I'd commit is I would say I would take part in street fights.

222
00:11:36,205 --> 00:11:36,525
Oh.

223
00:11:37,445 --> 00:11:37,805
Interesting.

224
00:11:38,185 --> 00:11:39,065
Just to feel something.

225
00:11:39,185 --> 00:11:39,345
Yeah.

226
00:11:39,705 --> 00:11:40,745
Just to know you're alive.

227
00:11:41,065 --> 00:11:44,985
Well, and you don't have to fight fair, so it's like, cover your neck.

228
00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:48,025
Oh, so you want the dirty fighting?

229
00:11:48,225 --> 00:11:49,365
Why would you want to be part of that?

230
00:11:49,385 --> 00:11:50,805
Because then someone would dirty fight you.

231
00:11:52,565 --> 00:11:53,485
Joe said it best.

232
00:11:53,985 --> 00:11:55,325
Sometimes you just want to feel alive.

233
00:11:55,605 --> 00:11:55,885
Okay.

234
00:11:57,365 --> 00:12:01,645
You want me to stab you in the neck sometime so you could feel something.

235
00:12:01,745 --> 00:12:02,285
I'll do it.

236
00:12:03,025 --> 00:12:04,285
Don't say it if you don't mean it.

237
00:12:04,285 --> 00:12:06,105
I mean it.

238
00:12:06,165 --> 00:12:08,165
It'll be your birthday present.

239
00:12:08,705 --> 00:12:09,745
1,000 subscribers.

240
00:12:10,345 --> 00:12:12,485
We passed that many minutes ago.

241
00:12:14,105 --> 00:12:14,585
Yeah.

242
00:12:16,145 --> 00:12:17,105
I'd also...

243
00:12:17,105 --> 00:12:19,465
I'd pee on seats.

244
00:12:24,665 --> 00:12:25,605
What kind of seats?

245
00:12:25,785 --> 00:12:27,405
And also, are you sitting while you pee?

246
00:12:28,025 --> 00:12:29,545
I know we've talked about this.

247
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,645
If money was no object,

248
00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:34,985
I would wet a lot of things.

249
00:12:35,845 --> 00:12:37,205
Like wet by peeing?

250
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:37,565
Yeah.

251
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:38,485
Yeah.

252
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,285
I don't think we have talked about this.

253
00:12:40,285 --> 00:12:40,625
Oh, really?

254
00:12:40,685 --> 00:12:42,065
Because it feels good until it doesn't.

255
00:12:42,125 --> 00:12:44,525
So if I knew I could just throw the object away and buy another one.

256
00:12:45,985 --> 00:12:48,565
Oh, you mean you like the idea of...

257
00:12:48,565 --> 00:12:50,065
Like super soaking your furniture.

258
00:12:54,485 --> 00:12:56,365
So you would be sitting down then.

259
00:12:56,445 --> 00:12:59,005
It's not like you're just standing and peeing.

260
00:12:59,065 --> 00:12:59,545
Not always.

261
00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:03,065
I could check people's car doors and if they left it unlocked,

262
00:13:03,065 --> 00:13:07,405
I'd have to drink a lot of water that night though

263
00:13:07,405 --> 00:13:08,385
That's okay

264
00:13:08,385 --> 00:13:09,225
You'll be hydrated

265
00:13:09,225 --> 00:13:11,505
I'll have a camelback as I'm going around just like

266
00:13:11,505 --> 00:13:12,765
You get your eight

267
00:13:12,765 --> 00:13:15,725
And you stay hydrated

268
00:13:15,725 --> 00:13:17,665
It's the best way to handle a purge

269
00:13:17,665 --> 00:13:21,285
I feel like I do a lot of trespassing

270
00:13:21,285 --> 00:13:24,465
Just going into places where I'm not allowed

271
00:13:24,465 --> 00:13:25,045
And then leaving

272
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:26,765
Yeah just to like look around

273
00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,125
But keeping like a log of every

274
00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:28,945
Yeah

275
00:13:28,945 --> 00:13:31,745
I want to go into a lot of different people's houses

276
00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:34,585
you should take pictures of yourself outside their address

277
00:13:34,585 --> 00:13:36,665
like with the address behind you

278
00:13:36,665 --> 00:13:37,745
and then go in

279
00:13:37,745 --> 00:13:38,605
yeah

280
00:13:38,605 --> 00:13:42,665
I wouldn't want the people to be there

281
00:13:42,665 --> 00:13:44,985
I just want to like snoop in people's houses

282
00:13:44,985 --> 00:13:48,445
oh I love to snoop

283
00:13:48,445 --> 00:13:50,145
I always like going like

284
00:13:50,145 --> 00:13:52,585
also like

285
00:13:52,585 --> 00:13:53,785
I like seeing in like

286
00:13:53,785 --> 00:13:56,465
back rooms of businesses and stuff

287
00:13:56,465 --> 00:13:58,545
oh yeah yeah none of this is real

288
00:13:58,545 --> 00:14:00,825
there's a half dress mannequin

289
00:14:00,825 --> 00:14:07,945
and candy wrappers what's going on back here or like being able to see the kitchen at like

290
00:14:07,945 --> 00:14:13,845
your favorite restaurants oh no no i don't want to do that no i still want to eat there what if

291
00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:19,585
it's gross no like a nice restaurant like it'd be cool to go like in the kitchen of hillstone or

292
00:14:19,585 --> 00:14:25,645
something well the kitchen's kind of open like all the nice kitchens kind of open up i mean not

293
00:14:25,645 --> 00:14:31,885
not that but like like that yeah but uh yeah i probably do a lot of trespassing i probably

294
00:14:31,885 --> 00:14:40,905
i i probably would steal a car just to like crash it do like a crash test dummy kind of a thing

295
00:14:40,905 --> 00:14:46,405
bumper boulevard i yeah i'd probably i i'd uh well yeah bumper boulevard um except for i wouldn't

296
00:14:46,405 --> 00:14:51,425
want to be in it i would do like a all right let's like put a concrete block on the gas pedal and

297
00:14:51,425 --> 00:15:00,485
watch what happens like i'd i'd do stuff like that like you know we could like kidnap someone

298
00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:06,285
oh um an adult while while they're taking their kidnap yeah well we can we'll shake them awake

299
00:15:06,285 --> 00:15:10,865
and we can like they could be a cook at a restaurant we like and we could like

300
00:15:10,865 --> 00:15:18,905
scare them into cooking for us that's that's our purge is we just force someone to be a private

301
00:15:18,905 --> 00:15:23,045
chef yeah and like all around the restaurant there's like screams and gunfire and we're just

302
00:15:23,045 --> 00:15:29,825
like we'll have the ahi tuna and then we order something that doesn't even need to be cooked

303
00:15:29,825 --> 00:15:36,045
i have the ahi tuna sashimi thank you thank you so much can i have a lettuce

304
00:15:36,045 --> 00:15:44,305
a lettuce i always wanted to touch one of those hubbin those tapenaki tables oh i know that would

305
00:15:44,305 --> 00:15:54,685
ruin my life so i haven't done it but um there was one time when i was a kid and um i the stove

306
00:15:54,685 --> 00:16:09,358
was on it was electric stove it um and i knew that it was on but i guess it wasn like glowing or something and i was like there a chance this isn on so i just like fully put my hand on it placed it on it and then kind of pulled it off and I had like

307
00:16:09,358 --> 00:16:14,418
burn marks and like all the creases of my fingers my mom was standing right there and she and I like

308
00:16:14,418 --> 00:16:19,058
I didn't react to it was just kind of like a huh that was weird that I did that why did I do that

309
00:16:19,058 --> 00:16:25,098
I was probably like 10 I think at the time I know it wasn't like a little kid that was

310
00:16:25,098 --> 00:16:31,338
sentient yeah no no i mean i remember this vividly and my mom was like what why are you

311
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:35,558
knew what was on why are you doing i was like i don't know i just i wanted to check in she was

312
00:16:35,558 --> 00:16:42,238
like are you okay i'm like yeah i'm fine but i still remember how like the burn like the brown

313
00:16:42,238 --> 00:16:47,718
burn marks on my hands oh my god yeah anyway it was i think the weirder thing the thing that

314
00:16:47,718 --> 00:16:54,738
stands out the most to me about that memory is that it was painful but i didn't react at all

315
00:16:54,738 --> 00:16:56,458
And it was just kind of like a, huh.

316
00:16:56,978 --> 00:16:58,338
Oh, you were made for the purge.

317
00:16:58,538 --> 00:16:59,998
I probably shouldn't have done that.

318
00:17:00,238 --> 00:17:02,878
But like, no reaction other than that.

319
00:17:03,198 --> 00:17:04,698
One time I was cleaning a wine glass.

320
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,358
And I was in eighth grade.

321
00:17:07,878 --> 00:17:09,218
Yeah, it broke while I was cleaning it.

322
00:17:09,478 --> 00:17:10,558
And I snapped it.

323
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:13,458
And then out of reflex, I brought it in and I stabbed myself with the stem.

324
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:14,558
Oh my God.

325
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:16,578
Yeah, I have like a scar here still.

326
00:17:16,938 --> 00:17:17,298
Oh.

327
00:17:18,598 --> 00:17:18,838
Yeah.

328
00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:21,338
My dad came home.

329
00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:22,098
I heard the door open.

330
00:17:22,158 --> 00:17:23,198
So I got scared I was getting in trouble.

331
00:17:23,198 --> 00:17:24,578
So I just didn't get help.

332
00:17:24,738 --> 00:17:26,538
Oh, you purged yourself.

333
00:17:27,118 --> 00:17:28,098
One night a year.

334
00:17:29,218 --> 00:17:32,458
Was Dennis like, which one of the neighbors did this to you?

335
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,018
The neighbor I invited over.

336
00:17:35,238 --> 00:17:36,998
The one that he just walked out.

337
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,778
He just got up and walked away.

338
00:17:41,258 --> 00:17:44,338
I feel like there's a fun crime that we're missing.

339
00:17:44,518 --> 00:17:45,158
Oh, I have one.

340
00:17:45,338 --> 00:17:45,618
Okay.

341
00:17:46,918 --> 00:17:53,158
Going into someone's house and stealing all their clothes and throwing them away.

342
00:17:53,158 --> 00:17:57,558
because then after the purge they have to buy all new clothes

343
00:17:57,558 --> 00:18:01,678
what if what if instead of like throwing them are you just like

344
00:18:01,678 --> 00:18:06,698
if as long as people wouldn't know like you just like took their closet their clothes

345
00:18:06,698 --> 00:18:10,698
and then put somebody else's clothes in there and like so you were switching people's clothes

346
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:14,938
into different closets so like they wouldn't know until they got like it was like morning

347
00:18:14,938 --> 00:18:19,898
and they're getting ready to go to work and then like oh like crap this isn't my suit this is

348
00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:27,098
this is else deborah's yeah this is deborah's sequin gown oh but they didn't realize it till

349
00:18:27,098 --> 00:18:31,818
they put it on right wait a minute and then so like the next day after the purge everyone's

350
00:18:31,818 --> 00:18:35,278
kind of walking around in weird clothes that don't belong to them i was thinking instead you

351
00:18:35,278 --> 00:18:42,958
could take someone's clothes and then at work you wear their clothes but then like never talk about

352
00:18:42,958 --> 00:18:48,858
like they're like hey i i had that shirt a shirt just like that stolen on the purge night

353
00:18:48,858 --> 00:18:51,758
I had a shirt just like that

354
00:18:51,758 --> 00:18:53,238
received on the purge night

355
00:18:53,238 --> 00:18:55,038
it's so weird

356
00:18:55,038 --> 00:18:57,838
I'm sure they made more than one

357
00:18:57,838 --> 00:18:59,598
Dan what he's I don't know his name

358
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:01,578
it's okay

359
00:19:01,578 --> 00:19:02,418
Danielle

360
00:19:02,418 --> 00:19:07,978
going like

361
00:19:07,978 --> 00:19:10,018
going to like an amusement

362
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,798
park and just like riding the rides

363
00:19:11,798 --> 00:19:13,598
I guess that's more like trespassing stuff

364
00:19:13,598 --> 00:19:15,218
yeah but you need to do it with me because

365
00:19:15,218 --> 00:19:17,418
one of us has to hold the

366
00:19:17,418 --> 00:19:24,458
person at weapons point to make them run the rides right unless there's a delay you think

367
00:19:24,458 --> 00:19:30,018
there's a delay button on it like a timer on a camera yeah or it's like probably it's like you

368
00:19:30,018 --> 00:19:34,598
get 15 seconds to run to the like the seatbelt bar is going down you just gotta like run in that

369
00:19:34,598 --> 00:19:39,018
would be fun actually they should do that it'd be a fun like little do you ever try and test

370
00:19:39,018 --> 00:19:46,718
yourself like like can i can i like get my key in the door and turn the lock before like this

371
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:52,758
happens or like or if there's like a commercial on and like you're like i have 30 seconds until

372
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,678
so like can i run into the other room grab something real quick and then run back in that

373
00:19:55,678 --> 00:20:00,298
amount of time yeah the fun game i play is when i'm leaving the bathroom and i like shut the door

374
00:20:00,298 --> 00:20:03,778
as it's shutting i try to reach back and shut the lights off while the door's closing

375
00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:09,018
but then yesterday i turned another light on like idiot oh have you ever slammed your hand in the

376
00:20:09,018 --> 00:20:15,778
door no wow so you're good it's not like moving at the speed of light it's just like

377
00:20:15,778 --> 00:20:17,298
it's hard to explain

378
00:20:17,298 --> 00:20:18,878
I wish I hadn't brought it up

379
00:20:18,878 --> 00:20:20,458
well

380
00:20:20,458 --> 00:20:22,878
comments

381
00:20:22,878 --> 00:20:23,958
leave comments

382
00:20:23,958 --> 00:20:24,778
comments

383
00:20:24,778 --> 00:20:30,078
tell us

384
00:20:30,078 --> 00:20:31,258
listeners

385
00:20:31,258 --> 00:20:32,178
tell us

386
00:20:32,178 --> 00:20:34,238
in the comments

387
00:20:34,238 --> 00:20:36,118
what you'd purge

388
00:20:36,118 --> 00:20:37,658
how you would purge

389
00:20:37,658 --> 00:20:38,698
what you'd do

390
00:20:38,698 --> 00:20:40,238
will we see you on purge night?

391
00:20:40,398 --> 00:20:41,158
I hope so

392
00:20:41,158 --> 00:20:43,058
oh I hope we kidnap you

393
00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:44,178
and we make you

394
00:20:44,178 --> 00:20:45,398
cook for us

395
00:20:45,398 --> 00:20:55,338
or we'll maybe see you running to a nearby roller coaster that we're all trying to get on yeah

396
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:59,398
i think that would be fun i'd like that or maybe we'll see you the next day

397
00:20:59,398 --> 00:21:05,898
wearing your clothes wearing your clothes yeah uh all right well i look forward to the purge

398
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:09,338
now me too we'll see you there okay bye

399
00:21:15,398 --> 00:21:15,898
you