1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:14,360
did you know i met lizzo oh yeah really yes this is true so of course she was super famous

2
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:21,220
let me break it down for you please do uh i was in seattle and i got invited to go to

3
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:25,420
a show of Pizza Underground,

4
00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:27,940
which was with Macaulay Culkin.

5
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:29,340
Is this true?

6
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,280
Sounds true.

7
00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:32,620
So we were going to go to the show,

8
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:33,920
so they were performing.

9
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:34,880
Like a band?

10
00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:35,320
Yeah.

11
00:00:35,540 --> 00:00:36,320
Pizza Underground?

12
00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:38,440
Yeah, and they ordered pizza

13
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,180
and they would pass the pizza out in the show.

14
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:43,420
People were like passing around a big pizza box

15
00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:44,300
and we were all taking pizza.

16
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,240
It already has Macaulay Culkin.

17
00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:48,620
Does the band need another hook?

18
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,080
It feels like a hat on a hat.

19
00:00:51,220 --> 00:00:56,500
Unless Macaulay Culkin was just so worried that his name no longer was a draw.

20
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,440
He's like, I need to offer pizza.

21
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,400
It feels like a pizza on a Macaulay Culkin.

22
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:01,460
Oh.

23
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:02,600
Anyway.

24
00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:05,620
I was just happy to be there.

25
00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:08,700
I wasn't questioning things or thinking how they could be better.

26
00:01:09,420 --> 00:01:13,700
And the opener was a yet-to-be-famous Lizzo.

27
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:15,700
And I was in the front row.

28
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,900
And I was, like, right next to the stage.

29
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,740
and she was like touching people's hands.

30
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,040
So I put my hand out

31
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,260
and she like touched my hand

32
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:27,880
and she had such soft skin.

33
00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:28,600
It was crazy.

34
00:01:29,180 --> 00:01:29,520
Wow.

35
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:29,880
Yeah.

36
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,560
Are you sure Lizzo wasn't the one

37
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,120
who had pizza going around?

38
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:36,000
Oh, you.

39
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,520
You made pizza sound like a disease just now.

40
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,560
She had pizza going around.

41
00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:46,880
There's a cream for that now though.

42
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:48,420
It's cream cheese.

43
00:01:48,740 --> 00:01:49,000
Anyway,

44
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:56,620
When I left the show, I remember that there was, I was walking over a bridge and on the bridge there was a sign that said, don't jump and a phone number.

45
00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:00,620
And it was Lizzo's phone number.

46
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:12,120
When you said you were walking over a bridge, I was picturing like a scenic little bridge over like a tiny little like stream.

47
00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:16,260
No, like a little wooden bridge, you know, just kind of like a cute little bridge.

48
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:17,480
It was don't jump.

49
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,560
I was like, oh, that's

50
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,200
what's the worst that can happen?

51
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,920
You get your ankles a little wet.

52
00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:25,840
Ankle injury, don't jump.

53
00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,580
And something else happened too.

54
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,040
It was on the same trip.

55
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,100
So they have this place called, I think it's called

56
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:33,600
Dick's.

57
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,240
I hope it's...

58
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,980
No, it's like a...

59
00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:41,100
Is it called Dick's? It's a hamburger

60
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:42,200
place. It's cash only.

61
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,220
Where is this?

62
00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:46,960
Seattle. Oh, okay. Seattle, right.

63
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:52,840
you did say that okay anyway um so i was i had to use cash it's because there was cash only so i

64
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,800
was like away from the thing i was like counting my money and this lady came up and she goes hey

65
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,940
you want to hook me up with some fries rob pat robert patterson was big at the time

66
00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:08,800
and i like wait patterson yeah pattinson no this is the author's son

67
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,960
Robert Otherson

68
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:15,020
you know the one the vampire

69
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:16,380
yeah yeah

70
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:18,940
yeah well she called me Rob Pat

71
00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:20,840
she didn't know either

72
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,440
I had sunglasses on

73
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,160
I'm not sure if it's Patterson or Pattinson

74
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:26,420
better just go with Pat

75
00:03:26,420 --> 00:03:29,040
that's so weird I always call him

76
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:29,600
Ertinson

77
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,180
hey Rob

78
00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:34,880
she

79
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,320
wanted fries so she's like I'm gonna hook you in some fries

80
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:38,600
and I was like oh no sorry

81
00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:40,560
And I was like counting my money to make sure I had it.

82
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:40,880
And she goes,

83
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:44,380
don't count your money like you think I'm going to steal from you.

84
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:44,960
And I was like,

85
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:45,500
what?

86
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:52,000
Maybe it's like counting your money to see how much money you have.

87
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:52,380
Yeah,

88
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,480
it's cash only.

89
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:55,320
I didn't know her name,

90
00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:57,100
so I couldn't call her by her name.

91
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:57,700
You know,

92
00:03:58,260 --> 00:03:59,000
like Deborah,

93
00:03:59,260 --> 00:03:59,820
come on.

94
00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:00,900
Kirstew.

95
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:03,380
Wait,

96
00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:05,040
Kristen,

97
00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:05,660
Kurt,

98
00:04:05,820 --> 00:04:06,220
Kirsten,

99
00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:07,860
Kirsten Stewart,

100
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:08,360
Kristen,

101
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,300
We don't know any of the Twilight actors.

102
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:12,460
Which one is it?

103
00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:13,340
It's Kristen.

104
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:14,780
Kristen Stewart.

105
00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:15,320
Okay.

106
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:17,120
I think I said Kirstew.

107
00:04:18,460 --> 00:04:18,980
Oh.

108
00:04:20,980 --> 00:04:22,080
Like Rob Patt.

109
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:22,360
Okay.

110
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:22,740
Yes.

111
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:26,520
I thought you just didn't know the name Kristen.

112
00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,980
Kirstew Stewart.

113
00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:31,780
Anyway.

114
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:32,340
Yeah.

115
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,040
That sort of stuff makes me uncomfortable because I never know what to say.

116
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,000
I mean, now I could be aggressive, but back then I was just a young child.

117
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:43,960
I'm glad you've gotten aggressive.

118
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,180
That's the Francis I know and love.

119
00:04:47,260 --> 00:04:48,300
I was going to walk over me.

120
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:49,020
Nope.

121
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,440
I'll take us both out.

122
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:51,920
Exactly.

123
00:04:53,060 --> 00:05:00,560
That undercurrent of suicidal tendencies makes you a danger to yourself and to others.

124
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:01,360
It's called a riptide.

125
00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:03,060
It looks real gentle from a distance.

126
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,500
Yeah, that bridge story would have gone real differently.

127
00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:08,240
No one tells me what to do.

128
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,420
defiant suicide

129
00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:15,420
welcome to very fine friends

130
00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:17,600
podcasts

131
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,860
where friends talk about stuff

132
00:05:19,860 --> 00:05:21,420
about defiant suicide

133
00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:21,980
yeah

134
00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:25,680
you know what I always thought was very interesting

135
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,740
the

136
00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:29,620
mash theme song

137
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,820
you know that song

138
00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:33,180
we did the mash

139
00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:35,160
the monster

140
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:35,780
oh

141
00:05:35,780 --> 00:05:39,480
do you know what it's called though what the real song is called

142
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,600
no suicide is painless suicide is painless

143
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,060
is the name of the mash theme song

144
00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:51,740
I knew it yeah you knew suicide

145
00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:55,380
was painless no I think it can be painful

146
00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:59,540
you're right but that I just says that like when I found that

147
00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:03,780
it was like what a dark dark name

148
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:04,620
for that song.

149
00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:04,980
Yeah.

150
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,080
Especially because it like

151
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,280
ends on kind of like a

152
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,060
da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

153
00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:11,120
Wait, it's like the

154
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,080
da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

155
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,220
No, I think it's more of like a

156
00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:18,120
da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

157
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,060
Oh.

158
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:19,740
No?

159
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:20,440
No.

160
00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:21,240
Was I right?

161
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,500
No, I was just, I was trying.

162
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:22,940
Oh.

163
00:06:23,140 --> 00:06:24,120
I wanted to feel included.

164
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:25,120
Joe was joshing around.

165
00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:25,920
Who was Joeing around?

166
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,160
He's just joshing.

167
00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:28,820
He's just being a goof.

168
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:30,880
I'm just goofing.

169
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:31,780
Goofing?

170
00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:32,900
We're all just goofing.

171
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:33,720
Gooping and boofing.

172
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:37,060
We're just God's gophers here goofing on the go land.

173
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,720
Quick interruption.

174
00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:48,780
Every week on the podcast, we do something where our producer Joe gives Francis and I each our own secret word.

175
00:06:49,020 --> 00:06:57,140
Throughout the course of the podcast, we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing.

176
00:06:57,940 --> 00:07:01,440
If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point.

177
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:10,100
and right before we die, we add up all the points and then we get a prize, whoever has the most

178
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:15,700
points for guessing the most secret words. Here's Joe with today's secret words.

179
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:26,020
Not today, Joe. I'm taking over. My secret word is generating. My decoy word is firestorm.

180
00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:30,420
Francis's secret word is anorexia

181
00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:34,460
Francis's decoy word is inconsolable

182
00:07:34,460 --> 00:07:36,540
back to the pod

183
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:39,240
well

184
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,880
on this positive suicide note

185
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:47,140
I think we need to bring something productive into the world

186
00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:49,760
let's get to

187
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,160
the invention of the week

188
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,220
invention

189
00:07:55,220 --> 00:08:07,860
yeah cool okay so we're doing things a little differently this what i know i know sorry

190
00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:18,340
listeners we're gonna mix it up a little bit so i had a francis's advice for how to invent things

191
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:22,400
is do you have a problem in your life oh well just figure out how to fix that problem like

192
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,300
what's something that annoys you?

193
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,760
Then that's suddenly a new invention.

194
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:25,800
You figure out how to fix it.

195
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:26,280
New invention.

196
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,720
Well, there was something that I noticed

197
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,840
that I think is kind of a general annoyance and problem

198
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,620
and probably for everybody in the world.

199
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,440
And I don't know how to fix it.

200
00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:40,080
I've been thinking about it for days.

201
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:41,240
So we're going to brainstorm.

202
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,580
We're going to see if we can invent on the fly.

203
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,220
So Francis, I'm going to tell you what my problem is.

204
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:49,240
Okay?

205
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:49,920
Mm-hmm.

206
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:51,360
Yes.

207
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:57,900
you know how you brush your teeth i do know that sometimes

208
00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:11,060
and you know how you the toothpaste often like the farther and farther along you get in using

209
00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:18,780
the toothpaste you get like residual toothpaste around the edge of the opening where it's because

210
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:19,800
Yeah, I do know that.

211
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:25,980
When you're either with a tube or even with little stand-up bottles, which are superior to tubes.

212
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,840
I don't know why they don't do more of those.

213
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,620
Yeah, because you've got to, you pump the toothpaste out of the tube.

214
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:38,640
And then you've got to like push it off onto the toothbrush, right?

215
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,140
So inevitably a little bit goes over the edge.

216
00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:50,840
So then eventually you're getting to the point where it's just toothpaste, just like gobs of extra toothpaste are around the edge and toothpaste gets everywhere.

217
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,420
I've got it.

218
00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:53,700
Wait, okay.

219
00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:55,600
You already have, okay.

220
00:09:55,960 --> 00:10:01,940
I want to invent something that is like a clean.

221
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:05,900
So from the entire time you're using it, it's a clean slice.

222
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:13,180
It doesn't build up gobs of toothpaste around the opening of the toothpaste tube or container, whatever.

223
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:15,500
Okay.

224
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:16,460
All right.

225
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,360
I can see the wheels turning, but Joe claims to have it already.

226
00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:21,940
Let's hear it.

227
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:23,780
Joe for...

228
00:10:23,780 --> 00:10:25,700
It's called the paste pump.

229
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:27,540
And...

230
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:28,860
We start to name them first.

231
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:34,580
Yes, what it is is it's basically like a little hand soap dispenser, but it's toothpaste inside.

232
00:10:35,020 --> 00:10:40,780
And there's a strip of very strong proprietary adhesive on the back of it that you peel off.

233
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:50,180
Stick it against your wall at about shoulder height so that you can very conveniently just press it while you slide your toothbrush underneath it.

234
00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:51,660
So that's a precise motion.

235
00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:52,860
You're not losing any toothpaste.

236
00:10:54,340 --> 00:10:55,660
Here's the problem, though.

237
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:58,500
Toothpaste is viscous.

238
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:01,620
You need to like cut it off.

239
00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:09,580
You need to like you need to do that thing where you like put your toothbrush.

240
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:15,940
There's the toothbrush is too integral in cutting off the stream of toothpaste.

241
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:23,440
And so inevitably you're always going to get that like little bit that comes up and no matter what the dispensing system.

242
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:29,280
It's the same principle as hot dogs or as a ketchup and mustard on a hot dog.

243
00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:29,660
Yeah.

244
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:32,220
When they have those little things that you just slide the hot dog under.

245
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:37,400
But what I'm saying is that's more liquidy.

246
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:40,820
So it naturally cuts itself off a little bit more.

247
00:11:40,980 --> 00:11:43,600
No, you still have to cut it off with a hot dog.

248
00:11:43,940 --> 00:11:46,680
Just think of your toothbrushes like a tiny hot dog, Jenna.

249
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,200
No, you don't have to cut it off with a hot dog necessarily.

250
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:55,540
But either way, there's still like residual mustard and ketchup on one of those pumps.

251
00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:58,660
On my pumps.

252
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,080
Okay.

253
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:02,240
Not the way I pump them.

254
00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,260
I know what you're talking about.

255
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:04,880
Thank you.

256
00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:14,360
I think the key here is I have two options.

257
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:15,080
Okay.

258
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,040
Here's one that's fun.

259
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:26,740
So the bottom of your toothbrush, so we have a little dispenser,

260
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,020
and you take the bottom of your toothbrush and you stick it in the dispenser,

261
00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:38,060
and it puts like a little tiny little cloth-like cover on the bottom of your toothbrush.

262
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:44,860
And then when you're done getting the toothpaste, you can use that to wipe off the excess toothpaste.

263
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:46,640
So you're just constantly wiping it.

264
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,920
So you don't fix the problem necessarily.

265
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,460
You just have a constant cleaning solution.

266
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,260
Well, you're already going to be there getting the toothbrush or toothpaste.

267
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,820
You could just turn it over and wipe it real quick in one motion, then brush.

268
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:02,900
And then you could knock it into the garbage.

269
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:03,960
That's one option.

270
00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:04,540
Okay.

271
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,200
Here's another fun one.

272
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:09,400
Toothpaste guillotine.

273
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,160
I was thinking something along those lines too.

274
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:19,480
I was thinking that, but then the guillotine would then just get toothpaste-y, right?

275
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,420
No one likes a pasty guillotine.

276
00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:24,820
Yes.

277
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:25,820
Yes.

278
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,260
There's also brushing teeth in the shower.

279
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:31,840
What?

280
00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:34,820
Sometimes people brush their teeth in the shower.

281
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,640
That sounds disgusting to me.

282
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:39,500
Don't you?

283
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,500
You don't want your toothbrush near your genitals?

284
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,660
strangely no

285
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:45,560
I don't think it would be

286
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:47,780
well if I do I want it to be my choice

287
00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:48,800
where are your teeth Jenna

288
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:53,020
Francis

289
00:13:53,020 --> 00:13:56,060
it's time to tell you about the human vagina

290
00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:58,880
no daddy no

291
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,180
there's teeth down there

292
00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:01,620
well I'm yeah

293
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:02,700
I know

294
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,500
I know that

295
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:06,820
I know more than you

296
00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:09,460
okay so

297
00:14:09,460 --> 00:14:11,200
you have qualms about the guillotine

298
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,860
Well, only, no, I mean, I love the guillotine idea because that's what I was thinking too.

299
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:17,980
It's just transferring the problem to a different place.

300
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:18,460
Yes.

301
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:25,180
The guillotine would then become itself would get the residual.

302
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:26,940
Wait a minute.

303
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:27,440
What?

304
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,400
Why are we acting crazy right now?

305
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:31,260
I've got it.

306
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:31,760
Okay.

307
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:37,620
We invent a new toothbrush that's thicker than a normal toothbrush.

308
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:42,960
and we have toothpaste cylinders that go into the toothbrush.

309
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,860
And then there's like a thing near the head where you twist it

310
00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:49,460
and it comes out into like the middle of the toothbrush.

311
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,620
And then who gives a shit?

312
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:56,340
Yeah, I was thinking like little – like instead of toothpaste,

313
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,680
it's like little cyanide capsules of toothpaste

314
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,640
and then you put it in your mouth and then you start brushing

315
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,040
and then it just breaks on impact.

316
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:04,860
And then you're not losing any toothpaste.

317
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:05,660
Well, they have stuff like that.

318
00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:09,140
I just assumed we were keeping toothpaste, but maybe.

319
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:09,940
Wait, wait.

320
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,240
So describe this again.

321
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,820
Here, let me explain it again.

322
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:13,500
Please do.

323
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:15,480
So you have a toothbrush.

324
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,220
It's normal, right?

325
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:16,560
Okay.

326
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:20,440
Imagine you have the same thing, but it's a little bit, the handle is a little bit fatter.

327
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:28,120
Because inside, you can put in a tube, like a small tube of toothpaste, which obviously

328
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,700
they're going to come in cylinders now because they're going to fit in your toothbrush.

329
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,060
So it goes in, clicks into place.

330
00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:41,180
when it clicks it punctures it open it's all very japanese and then at the uh near the where the

331
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:45,900
bristles are going to be beneath that there's like a twisty things for so that you can twist

332
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:52,480
the toothpaste out of the tube and onto the brush then you never have to worry about oh there's some

333
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:58,700
left because it's never going to be an issue and then it would also always be twisting from the

334
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:04,400
bottom so the toothpaste would always be going up through the tube it's not like the psychopaths

335
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:08,920
who squeeze from the middle of the tube no instead of going from the bottom up

336
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:14,580
oh my gosh what if it was like toothpaste and like a little

337
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:25,455
like thing like this like you have like hair gel or pomade or whatever yeah and then you can just scoop it out with your toothbrush They have that They do They do Seriously

338
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:27,175
So this is what it feels like to be me, huh?

339
00:16:30,695 --> 00:16:31,055
Yeah.

340
00:16:31,715 --> 00:16:36,255
Well, I mean, this was you a few minutes ago with vaginas and teeth.

341
00:16:36,355 --> 00:16:37,615
So don't act all high and mighty.

342
00:16:38,035 --> 00:16:38,295
You're right.

343
00:16:38,355 --> 00:16:39,295
I got to stay low to the ground.

344
00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:41,935
We invented vaginas with teeth.

345
00:16:43,255 --> 00:16:44,055
Oh, yeah, it's real.

346
00:16:44,115 --> 00:16:44,815
They have tooth powder.

347
00:16:44,815 --> 00:16:46,595
They have the tablets like you were talking about.

348
00:16:48,955 --> 00:16:49,315
Wow.

349
00:16:49,735 --> 00:16:51,775
I kind of don't like the idea of the tooth powder because.

350
00:16:51,995 --> 00:16:52,455
I don't either.

351
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:56,115
Like, I guess you could maybe take it with your fingers and sprinkle it on.

352
00:16:56,155 --> 00:17:02,095
But I don't like the idea of you dipping your toothbrush that you've already put in your mouth.

353
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:03,515
I don't know.

354
00:17:03,755 --> 00:17:03,955
Yeah.

355
00:17:04,335 --> 00:17:05,915
Well, that's the thing is then, yeah, you're.

356
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,275
So it would still have the texture.

357
00:17:10,275 --> 00:17:14,355
Like they sell it still like the consistency that toothpaste is right now.

358
00:17:14,815 --> 00:17:16,795
What's the question?

359
00:17:16,795 --> 00:17:18,415
In that little like pomade jar?

360
00:17:18,775 --> 00:17:20,755
No, it's like, they might.

361
00:17:20,895 --> 00:17:23,215
I mean, I'd be surprised if they didn't have that,

362
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:27,635
but they also have like a mineralized powder toothbrush or toothpaste.

363
00:17:28,055 --> 00:17:29,055
They call it tooth powder.

364
00:17:29,575 --> 00:17:32,215
They have the tablets like Joe was talking about where you just.

365
00:17:32,395 --> 00:17:33,655
I've never heard of the tablets.

366
00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:36,555
It's good for traveling because then you can just like crunch it and brush.

367
00:17:37,835 --> 00:17:38,675
Crunch and brush.

368
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:39,635
Ooh.

369
00:17:40,355 --> 00:17:41,295
Dot com.

370
00:17:41,295 --> 00:17:57,375
um okay i like this toothbrush idea it also would be good for traveling because it minimizes space

371
00:17:57,375 --> 00:18:01,195
you could still theoretically just have like you know your travel container for your toothbrush

372
00:18:01,195 --> 00:18:09,155
um is it we could make it tsa compliant oh yeah we can do all that

373
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:12,515
cool

374
00:18:12,515 --> 00:18:16,535
what are we going to call it

375
00:18:16,535 --> 00:18:19,475
I like this the toothbrush I feel like

376
00:18:19,475 --> 00:18:21,015
solves

377
00:18:21,015 --> 00:18:23,055
which one are we settling on

378
00:18:23,055 --> 00:18:25,255
the toothbrush with the canister in it

379
00:18:25,255 --> 00:18:26,215
that you click in

380
00:18:26,215 --> 00:18:29,195
and then you just kind of twist the bottom of the

381
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,215
toothbrush and it dispenses toothpaste

382
00:18:31,215 --> 00:18:32,675
directly into the bristles

383
00:18:32,675 --> 00:18:36,795
I think we should call it the brisly bear

384
00:18:36,795 --> 00:18:38,635
the brisly bear

385
00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:39,095
yeah

386
00:18:39,095 --> 00:18:43,095
okay

387
00:18:43,095 --> 00:18:45,535
you can't handle the tooth

388
00:18:45,535 --> 00:18:51,495
that makes me think that someone has one big tooth they're brushing

389
00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:57,395
i'm just thinking because you put the canister in the handle and you use it on your teeth so

390
00:18:57,395 --> 00:19:01,035
you can't handle the tooth i didn't even pick up on the handle part of it

391
00:19:01,035 --> 00:19:06,895
yeah you can handle the tooth well you can't

392
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:16,295
tooth tubes

393
00:19:16,295 --> 00:19:24,495
jubies tooth tubies

394
00:19:24,495 --> 00:19:30,435
jubies tooth tubies write it down that has name power

395
00:19:30,435 --> 00:19:35,695
jubies tooth tubies i'm buying one

396
00:19:36,895 --> 00:19:40,415
Our faces could be on the refill tubes.

397
00:19:41,475 --> 00:19:43,395
Oh, yeah, we could each have our own flavor.

398
00:19:44,335 --> 00:19:47,735
Or are you getting a Francis, a Jenna, or a Joe?

399
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,415
What are our flavors?

400
00:19:51,615 --> 00:19:53,655
What mint flavor do you want?

401
00:19:54,155 --> 00:19:55,095
It's got to be mint, right?

402
00:19:55,115 --> 00:19:55,875
You can't do anything.

403
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:56,935
No, you could be Fruity Francis.

404
00:19:58,395 --> 00:20:00,655
I have a feeling Francis doesn't like that nickname.

405
00:20:00,975 --> 00:20:01,815
I'm not.

406
00:20:03,755 --> 00:20:05,175
I'm not doing that.

407
00:20:06,895 --> 00:20:09,335
I think you're right about the mint.

408
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:11,935
I think a nice Andy's mint could be fun.

409
00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:13,535
It's like a chocolate mint?

410
00:20:13,715 --> 00:20:14,475
Yeah, we'll do a partnership.

411
00:20:15,775 --> 00:20:16,375
Andy's?

412
00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:17,955
Or we'll just call it Andrew's mint.

413
00:20:19,295 --> 00:20:20,915
And then two middle fingers.

414
00:20:23,575 --> 00:20:25,755
Your flavor could be chocolate-covered pretzel.

415
00:20:28,235 --> 00:20:30,235
And the toothpaste stays hard when it's wet.

416
00:20:32,575 --> 00:20:33,055
No.

417
00:20:33,615 --> 00:20:34,815
It's Andrew's mint.

418
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:35,895
But yes.

419
00:20:35,895 --> 00:20:40,575
I never understood anything like sugar related in toothpaste.

420
00:20:40,795 --> 00:20:43,715
It's like that just, even if it doesn't actually have sugar in it,

421
00:20:43,715 --> 00:20:46,575
it just feels like you're putting it back on your teeth and you're trying to get it off.

422
00:20:46,695 --> 00:20:48,135
What if you forgot and you ate it?

423
00:20:50,075 --> 00:20:52,375
Um, can I confess something?

424
00:20:52,435 --> 00:20:56,635
Well, as just to, and before I make this confession, I want to clarify,

425
00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:59,275
I am the only one that uses my toothpaste.

426
00:20:59,835 --> 00:21:01,235
It's not shared toothpaste.

427
00:21:02,355 --> 00:21:04,715
Sometimes if I don't feel like brushing my teeth, but I, I mean,

428
00:21:04,715 --> 00:21:06,635
I always brush my teeth at the regular times of day,

429
00:21:06,675 --> 00:21:07,655
but if I like extra,

430
00:21:07,775 --> 00:21:07,955
I,

431
00:21:08,055 --> 00:21:09,415
I want,

432
00:21:09,575 --> 00:21:11,855
I brush my teeth no less than three times of a day.

433
00:21:12,295 --> 00:21:13,735
You brush your teeth three times a day.

434
00:21:13,895 --> 00:21:14,095
Yeah.

435
00:21:15,935 --> 00:21:16,295
What?

436
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:17,655
Three times.

437
00:21:17,775 --> 00:21:19,315
I brush mine too on a good day.

438
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:20,235
Oh,

439
00:21:20,275 --> 00:21:21,735
I never brush less than twice.

440
00:21:21,735 --> 00:21:23,655
Always when I wake up and always when I go to bed,

441
00:21:23,695 --> 00:21:26,055
there might be a time that I don't in between,

442
00:21:26,055 --> 00:21:29,555
but usually midday I'll brush again too.

443
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:31,515
But anyway,

444
00:21:31,515 --> 00:21:34,155
the point is if I just want a quick hit of fresh breath,

445
00:21:34,155 --> 00:21:36,735
I'll stick the tube up to my mouth

446
00:21:36,735 --> 00:21:37,835
and just lick some off.

447
00:21:38,575 --> 00:21:39,955
I'll squeeze a little and lick.

448
00:21:40,315 --> 00:21:41,075
That's not weird.

449
00:21:41,395 --> 00:21:42,995
Okay. Thank you.

450
00:21:44,235 --> 00:21:45,515
Let's just get Listerine.

451
00:21:47,495 --> 00:21:47,895
Yeah.

452
00:21:48,295 --> 00:21:49,315
Sometimes it's not around.

453
00:21:49,955 --> 00:21:51,155
We always know where to find toothpaste.

454
00:21:52,475 --> 00:21:54,055
And Listerine, that's a different...

455
00:21:54,055 --> 00:21:56,355
You still gotta squish and this is just like

456
00:21:56,355 --> 00:21:58,035
I'm just eating it and it's in my mouth.

457
00:21:58,355 --> 00:21:59,495
It's just a little tiny lick.

458
00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:02,495
Gives her some wintergreen.

459
00:22:02,495 --> 00:22:08,195
Well, I like Listerine because on the bottle it says that it gives you a fresher and cleaner mouth feel than brushing alone.

460
00:22:08,375 --> 00:22:11,015
And I just like seeing the words mouth feel on my Listerine.

461
00:22:12,595 --> 00:22:13,415
Fun fact.

462
00:22:14,255 --> 00:22:18,755
They put the word feel on there to get out of legal responsibility.

463
00:22:21,275 --> 00:22:22,735
Gives you a cleaner mouth feel.

464
00:22:23,215 --> 00:22:25,815
It isn't actually cleaner, but it feels like it is.

465
00:22:25,935 --> 00:22:26,495
It feels cleaner, yeah.

466
00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:29,195
Just kidding.

467
00:22:29,275 --> 00:22:29,815
I don't know anything.

468
00:22:29,935 --> 00:22:30,515
Don't sue us.

469
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:37,875
It used to say it gives you a cleaner mouth in in inarguable truth of the universe.

470
00:22:38,035 --> 00:22:41,895
It's absolutely factual, which was a weird thing to put on a bottle.

471
00:22:42,035 --> 00:22:42,835
Yeah, it really was.

472
00:22:43,095 --> 00:22:45,775
The bottle was much bigger to fit all that text.

473
00:22:46,275 --> 00:22:48,795
Oh, thank God we have a lawyer.

474
00:22:48,955 --> 00:22:50,435
It's just I just it just hits me just now.

475
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:52,475
You never used to do this as like a meal replacement.

476
00:22:53,055 --> 00:22:54,775
Did you eating toothpaste?

477
00:22:54,895 --> 00:22:55,035
Yeah.

478
00:22:55,155 --> 00:22:55,355
No.

479
00:22:55,735 --> 00:22:56,735
OK, because I was worried.

480
00:22:56,735 --> 00:23:01,855
I was worried you were like, just admitting like, oh, maybe I had a little anorexia.

481
00:23:02,155 --> 00:23:02,795
Like, I just ate toothpaste.

482
00:23:02,795 --> 00:23:03,375
Oh, did I eat toothpaste?

483
00:23:03,575 --> 00:23:04,135
No, no, no, no.

484
00:23:04,375 --> 00:23:04,735
No.

485
00:23:04,915 --> 00:23:06,095
No, I'm not psychotic.

486
00:23:06,295 --> 00:23:06,555
Okay.

487
00:23:06,775 --> 00:23:08,875
To our listeners that do eat that as a meal.

488
00:23:09,435 --> 00:23:10,035
I'm sorry.

489
00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:10,715
That's psychotic.

490
00:23:10,815 --> 00:23:11,255
Don't do that.

491
00:23:11,315 --> 00:23:13,415
To our listeners who do eat that as a meal.

492
00:23:13,635 --> 00:23:14,435
We love you.

493
00:23:14,655 --> 00:23:15,415
We love you.

494
00:23:15,475 --> 00:23:17,855
We do love you, which is why we're telling you, don't do that anymore.

495
00:23:17,915 --> 00:23:18,855
We'll give you a sample pack.

496
00:23:19,915 --> 00:23:20,495
Oh, sure.

497
00:23:20,635 --> 00:23:22,095
And then that's a free meal.

498
00:23:22,335 --> 00:23:22,535
Yeah.

499
00:23:22,915 --> 00:23:23,855
Is toothpaste edible?

500
00:23:24,455 --> 00:23:24,655
Yeah.

501
00:23:24,655 --> 00:23:30,355
yes we put it into our mouths every day what do you think jenna has been subsisting on wait a

502
00:23:30,355 --> 00:23:34,575
minute let's say it's not edible you have to spit it out when you're done so i'm just curious no you

503
00:23:34,575 --> 00:23:41,155
can swallow it you can swallow like mouthwash i mean really it would be bernie and it would

504
00:23:41,155 --> 00:23:43,555
like make your hi i'm bernie

505
00:23:43,555 --> 00:23:51,295
i'm in your throat right now uh no it's just it just isn't good i mean but it's not gonna kill

506
00:23:51,295 --> 00:23:52,315
you. It's not going to hurt you.

507
00:23:53,975 --> 00:23:55,115
There's definitely... It's not like

508
00:23:55,115 --> 00:23:57,255
bleach, Francis. Also, you can drink

509
00:23:57,255 --> 00:23:57,695
bleach.

510
00:23:59,715 --> 00:24:00,495
You can.

511
00:24:01,215 --> 00:24:03,155
Jenna's like, we're talking about two of the

512
00:24:03,155 --> 00:24:04,995
three major foods in my food diet.

513
00:24:05,135 --> 00:24:07,095
You just tried to describe breakfast and lunch,

514
00:24:07,175 --> 00:24:09,095
my man. We have to change

515
00:24:09,095 --> 00:24:11,055
a song title from the beginning of the episode.

516
00:24:11,475 --> 00:24:12,575
Suicide is painful.

517
00:24:12,815 --> 00:24:15,195
No, I mean, you don't want to have a ton

518
00:24:15,195 --> 00:24:17,135
of it, but you can dilute bleach and

519
00:24:17,135 --> 00:24:19,155
drink it. It's totally fine. You can

520
00:24:19,155 --> 00:24:20,375
not dilute it and

521
00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:22,335
drink it.

522
00:24:22,555 --> 00:24:24,615
It'll just be painful going down.

523
00:24:25,135 --> 00:24:26,055
It will kill you.

524
00:24:26,655 --> 00:24:29,015
No, I'm pretty sure you can drink bleach.

525
00:24:29,495 --> 00:24:30,015
Blisters,

526
00:24:30,535 --> 00:24:32,455
try drinking bleach

527
00:24:32,455 --> 00:24:34,615
and get back to us and tell us your status.

528
00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:35,635
No, I'm

529
00:24:35,635 --> 00:24:37,015
telling you.

530
00:24:40,735 --> 00:24:42,515
This is my advice to you.

531
00:24:44,615 --> 00:24:45,975
Not a lot of bleach.

532
00:24:46,435 --> 00:24:47,295
Everything in moderation.

533
00:24:48,875 --> 00:24:49,595
Quick interruption.

534
00:24:50,375 --> 00:24:52,515
don't drink bleach.

535
00:24:53,715 --> 00:24:54,335
Thank you.

536
00:24:55,175 --> 00:24:56,795
But, anyway.

537
00:24:57,015 --> 00:24:57,955
You know what I never understood?

538
00:24:58,075 --> 00:24:59,195
And this is going to be so boring to listen to.

539
00:24:59,275 --> 00:25:00,315
I'm sorry, but I'm just going to say it anyway.

540
00:25:00,995 --> 00:25:02,395
You know how there's the pH scale?

541
00:25:03,915 --> 00:25:06,015
So there's like acids and bases.

542
00:25:06,675 --> 00:25:08,735
So I knew that like acids,

543
00:25:09,395 --> 00:25:11,355
like a hydrochloric acid, right, could like kill you.

544
00:25:12,235 --> 00:25:16,155
So I never understood how a base could like kill you too.

545
00:25:16,155 --> 00:25:17,515
I thought like a base would be safe then.

546
00:25:17,815 --> 00:25:18,455
That's not the case.

547
00:25:18,455 --> 00:25:27,115
bases can kill you too yes you really want to stay in the middle yeah moderation moderation

548
00:25:27,115 --> 00:25:32,455
exactly just like with drinking bleach well it's the same with food too if you eat too much food

549
00:25:32,455 --> 00:25:36,635
it could kill you and if you eat not enough food it could also kill you there's only one of those

550
00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:37,795
that I'm interested in trying.

551
00:25:42,415 --> 00:25:44,535
Okay, so we have

552
00:25:44,535 --> 00:25:46,515
the Brizzly Bear.

553
00:25:46,975 --> 00:25:49,255
You can't handle the tooth.

554
00:25:50,275 --> 00:25:51,515
Juby's Tooth Doobies.

555
00:25:52,595 --> 00:25:53,695
We each

556
00:25:53,695 --> 00:25:56,315
came up with a name.

557
00:25:56,315 --> 00:25:58,415
We were each generating a name

558
00:25:58,415 --> 00:26:00,395
for this. I am proud of us

559
00:26:00,395 --> 00:26:00,895
for that.

560
00:26:02,015 --> 00:26:02,995
Time for a pretzel.

561
00:26:05,015 --> 00:26:05,815
Yes, listeners,

562
00:26:05,815 --> 00:26:07,375
one thing you don't know is

563
00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:10,235
we have chocolate covered pretzels here in the studio.

564
00:26:10,895 --> 00:26:12,155
So if you hear any extra

565
00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:14,155
crunching, that's

566
00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:15,095
what's going on.

567
00:26:16,475 --> 00:26:18,555
That was Joe.

568
00:26:18,655 --> 00:26:20,135
There goes Joe, just to

569
00:26:20,135 --> 00:26:20,635
prove it.

570
00:26:22,155 --> 00:26:23,795
This episode is sponsored by

571
00:26:23,795 --> 00:26:25,995
pretzels. Get the

572
00:26:25,995 --> 00:26:27,195
goody Juby Crunch.

573
00:26:28,195 --> 00:26:28,755
Thanks.

574
00:26:30,375 --> 00:26:31,015
Thanks.

575
00:26:32,215 --> 00:26:34,135
More ads should end with

576
00:26:34,135 --> 00:26:35,015
thanks.

577
00:26:35,815 --> 00:26:41,975
Juby's out to lunch. Juby's gonna munch. Juby's got that crunch. Juby's.

578
00:26:43,975 --> 00:26:50,255
All right. Well, uh, thank you for solving my problem, Francis. See, I knew you could do it.

579
00:26:50,755 --> 00:26:55,435
Thank you. I helped. You were there. Yeah. You did help.

580
00:26:57,815 --> 00:27:05,375
The ultimate invention came from Francis. So. Hey. Sorry.

581
00:27:05,815 --> 00:27:06,875
You're a good namer.

582
00:27:08,155 --> 00:27:09,535
And I'm good at nothing.

583
00:27:09,635 --> 00:27:11,595
State Farm is there.

584
00:27:12,015 --> 00:27:12,875
Like a good namer?

585
00:27:13,095 --> 00:27:13,535
Thanks.

586
00:27:15,535 --> 00:27:18,395
All right, that wraps up the invention of the week.

587
00:27:20,395 --> 00:27:22,915
It's time for our next segment.

588
00:27:24,995 --> 00:27:26,775
Dr. Truth.

589
00:27:30,795 --> 00:27:32,315
Need advice?

590
00:27:33,155 --> 00:27:35,495
Ask Dr. Truth.

591
00:27:35,815 --> 00:27:40,435
So in this segment,

592
00:27:41,255 --> 00:27:46,695
Joe is going to be asking Francis and I

593
00:27:46,695 --> 00:27:50,395
life advice questions

594
00:27:50,395 --> 00:27:54,915
that he's gotten from our many, many listeners

595
00:27:54,915 --> 00:27:55,875
that have submitted.

596
00:27:57,695 --> 00:28:00,075
And they've all submitted anonymously.

597
00:28:02,135 --> 00:28:02,775
Cowards.

598
00:28:04,435 --> 00:28:05,075
Cowards.

599
00:28:05,075 --> 00:28:17,255
But Francis and I will be answering them as the best of our ability, similar to a Dr. Ruth, but for copyright reasons, not Dr. Ruth.

600
00:28:21,815 --> 00:28:24,015
So what's our first question?

601
00:28:24,215 --> 00:28:25,335
What can we help you with?

602
00:28:25,635 --> 00:28:25,915
All right.

603
00:28:25,935 --> 00:28:28,195
Our first question is from a listener in the Midwest.

604
00:28:29,395 --> 00:28:34,195
What's your solution for stopping yourself from flying off the handle at someone when they upset you?

605
00:28:35,075 --> 00:28:41,535
Well, I'm not sure if Francis is the right one to answer this question.

606
00:28:43,475 --> 00:28:46,695
This listener actually specifically requested Francis's answer.

607
00:28:47,615 --> 00:28:50,735
Okay, well, do you want me to answer first or do you want to answer?

608
00:28:50,955 --> 00:28:51,835
Sure, go ahead if you've got something.

609
00:28:52,535 --> 00:28:52,955
I do.

610
00:28:53,195 --> 00:28:54,555
Notice how calm I am right now.

611
00:28:54,555 --> 00:29:08,715
So, listener, what you're going to want to do is go to McDonald's and get a whole bunch, as many ketchup packets as they will let you have.

612
00:29:08,935 --> 00:29:13,055
You're going to need a lot of ketchup packets, specifically McDonald's ketchup packets.

613
00:29:13,575 --> 00:29:18,755
Even though they say, I think they say they're Heinz, there's something about them they're not.

614
00:29:18,835 --> 00:29:20,775
It's specifically made for McDonald's.

615
00:29:20,835 --> 00:29:21,315
It's different.

616
00:29:21,315 --> 00:29:29,075
put as much ketchup as you can into a bowl

617
00:29:29,075 --> 00:29:33,975
and then have that bowl with you at all times.

618
00:29:34,915 --> 00:29:39,635
Then at any point in time, if you get upset,

619
00:29:39,635 --> 00:29:45,515
you take your right hand, put it in the bowl of ketchup,

620
00:29:45,515 --> 00:29:48,735
pull it out

621
00:29:48,735 --> 00:29:53,195
then you realize you've got ketchup all over your hands

622
00:29:53,195 --> 00:29:55,055
and now you've got a whole new problem to deal with

623
00:29:55,055 --> 00:29:57,515
and you can't think about what made you angry

624
00:29:57,515 --> 00:30:00,355
now you've got to get ketchup off your hands

625
00:30:00,355 --> 00:30:03,555
before it gets all over the place

626
00:30:03,555 --> 00:30:06,135
because ketchup stains and ketchup gets all over the place

627
00:30:06,135 --> 00:30:09,495
so you're basically creating a new problem to distract yourself

628
00:30:09,495 --> 00:30:11,035
and I recommend ketchup

629
00:30:11,035 --> 00:30:14,395
I also recommend if you're really serious about this process

630
00:30:14,395 --> 00:30:18,495
wearing head-to-toe white, like the good humor man,

631
00:30:18,835 --> 00:30:23,315
that'll really help make this solution stick.

632
00:30:23,795 --> 00:30:25,935
Or not stick, because you don't want the ketchup on you.

633
00:30:26,075 --> 00:30:31,075
But anyway, basically, you're distracting yourself with a new problem.

634
00:30:31,495 --> 00:30:32,755
I call it ketchup hands.

635
00:30:34,555 --> 00:30:35,735
That's my advice.

636
00:30:36,055 --> 00:30:36,435
It's beautiful.

637
00:30:36,995 --> 00:30:37,735
Thank you.

638
00:30:38,735 --> 00:30:42,675
How to stop yourself from flying off the handle at someone.

639
00:30:44,395 --> 00:30:48,535
I like to do a little thing I call and other people call imagining.

640
00:30:49,675 --> 00:30:52,515
Who is this person that I'm mad at?

641
00:30:53,075 --> 00:30:54,935
What made them who they are today?

642
00:30:55,575 --> 00:30:56,535
Here's something I noticed.

643
00:30:57,555 --> 00:30:58,795
Everyone has a story.

644
00:31:00,015 --> 00:31:02,955
Everyone has a chapter before me.

645
00:31:03,235 --> 00:31:04,295
What was in that chapter?

646
00:31:05,135 --> 00:31:06,475
So before I get really mad now,

647
00:31:07,615 --> 00:31:10,655
I just assume something horrible happened to them.

648
00:31:10,655 --> 00:31:16,835
they had bad parents they had a bad day they got assaulted

649
00:31:16,835 --> 00:31:20,995
you know maybe they spilled coffee on themselves

650
00:31:20,995 --> 00:31:29,995
and it happened right before our interaction so yes i could very well be in the right usually

651
00:31:29,995 --> 00:31:36,215
always am when i get mad i don't get mad because i'm in the wrong that's actually in the legal

652
00:31:36,215 --> 00:31:42,755
language of being upset why would i be upset if i was wrong you wouldn't you're a reasonable human

653
00:31:42,755 --> 00:31:48,175
being that's a bumper sticker waiting to be printed uh so even though i'm like okay so first

654
00:31:48,175 --> 00:31:54,095
i applaud myself because it's like you're right and it's good to be right so if if nothing else

655
00:31:54,095 --> 00:32:01,255
you have your accuracy you know they might not see it your way but guess what at the end of the day

656
00:32:01,255 --> 00:32:02,715
you're going home right.

657
00:32:03,935 --> 00:32:05,115
They don't have that.

658
00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:07,535
Then I feel, what comes up next?

659
00:32:07,915 --> 00:32:09,535
Pity. I feel bad

660
00:32:09,535 --> 00:32:11,275
for them because they're not right.

661
00:32:12,715 --> 00:32:13,575
Then I think

662
00:32:13,575 --> 00:32:14,735
they're wildly stupid.

663
00:32:15,355 --> 00:32:17,115
More pity. They're stupid.

664
00:32:17,475 --> 00:32:18,335
They can't help it.

665
00:32:19,375 --> 00:32:20,895
Stupid people can't not be stupid.

666
00:32:21,955 --> 00:32:23,655
I'm blessed. I'm so blessed

667
00:32:23,655 --> 00:32:24,595
to be right and be smart.

668
00:32:25,435 --> 00:32:27,635
And then this is all happening internally, but it is

669
00:32:27,635 --> 00:32:29,235
taking time, so they're probably leaving

670
00:32:29,235 --> 00:32:32,095
while I'm doing all this math.

671
00:32:33,675 --> 00:32:35,695
By the time I come back to the situation,

672
00:32:35,975 --> 00:32:48,350
there no one to be mad at because they gone Your solution is just think about a lot of other shit to distract yourself until they leave Yeah Okay So yours is a mental solution

673
00:32:48,610 --> 00:32:50,150
Mine's a physical solution.

674
00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:51,030
Yeah.

675
00:32:51,030 --> 00:32:56,690
But both involve distracting yourself from whatever is making you angry.

676
00:32:56,830 --> 00:32:57,090
You're right.

677
00:32:57,150 --> 00:33:01,710
That was a very good, succinct wrap up.

678
00:33:02,630 --> 00:33:03,450
Thank you.

679
00:33:03,450 --> 00:33:07,810
Our next question is from a listener in Trinidad and Tobago.

680
00:33:09,910 --> 00:33:11,290
Trinidadian and Tobago.

681
00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:18,590
How do I make my house inhospitable enough that my mother-in-law won't want to stay with us?

682
00:33:19,050 --> 00:33:20,550
Ugh, mother-in-laws.

683
00:33:20,830 --> 00:33:21,450
Am I right?

684
00:33:22,230 --> 00:33:22,710
Oh, yeah.

685
00:33:23,050 --> 00:33:23,730
Oh, you're right.

686
00:33:24,290 --> 00:33:26,250
Everybody loves Raymond, am I right?

687
00:33:28,950 --> 00:33:29,910
Where's Raymond?

688
00:33:29,910 --> 00:33:34,950
Debra gave Raymond the figurine

689
00:33:34,950 --> 00:33:36,930
Raymond where's the figurine I gave Debra

690
00:33:36,930 --> 00:33:39,150
let me take this one

691
00:33:39,150 --> 00:33:39,550
first

692
00:33:39,550 --> 00:33:42,730
you want to make your house inhospitable to your mother-in-law

693
00:33:42,730 --> 00:33:43,590
right

694
00:33:43,590 --> 00:33:46,030
all you've got to do

695
00:33:46,030 --> 00:33:49,090
is casually mention during dinner

696
00:33:49,090 --> 00:33:50,470
that

697
00:33:50,470 --> 00:33:52,790
you and her son are now open

698
00:33:52,790 --> 00:33:53,270
in poly

699
00:33:53,270 --> 00:33:55,490
and

700
00:33:55,490 --> 00:33:58,610
I hope you don't mind while you're here

701
00:33:58,610 --> 00:34:02,610
we're going to be interviewing people for our thirds and maybe our fourths.

702
00:34:03,290 --> 00:34:03,770
Um,

703
00:34:03,930 --> 00:34:08,910
and the interviews will be loud and then make sure you call her mama.

704
00:34:09,170 --> 00:34:12,750
Like what's your work experience?

705
00:34:15,590 --> 00:34:16,310
Like that?

706
00:34:16,570 --> 00:34:16,930
Yes,

707
00:34:16,950 --> 00:34:17,810
exactly like that.

708
00:34:17,810 --> 00:34:18,150
Um,

709
00:34:18,150 --> 00:34:20,490
and if that doesn't work,

710
00:34:20,870 --> 00:34:21,370
um,

711
00:34:22,070 --> 00:34:26,570
I think if you keep the house stocked with allergens specific to the mother-in-law,

712
00:34:26,570 --> 00:34:29,270
that will scare her away.

713
00:34:30,430 --> 00:34:30,790
Hmm.

714
00:34:31,430 --> 00:34:31,830
You know?

715
00:34:33,050 --> 00:34:34,210
Allergens are scary.

716
00:34:34,870 --> 00:34:38,310
Yeah, sorry, I hope you like your new peanut-filled pillows.

717
00:34:40,650 --> 00:34:43,810
She's like, I specifically asked you for chocolate almond-covered pillows.

718
00:34:44,630 --> 00:34:45,750
Oh, I knew I messed something up.

719
00:34:46,330 --> 00:34:47,990
So my solution is to lie.

720
00:34:49,490 --> 00:34:49,850
Okay.

721
00:34:49,850 --> 00:34:49,950
Okay.

722
00:34:49,950 --> 00:35:00,830
I would recommend if you want to keep your reputation with your mother-in-law still intact,

723
00:35:00,870 --> 00:35:09,630
if you don't want to have your marriage sullied with extra people or the thought of extra people,

724
00:35:09,630 --> 00:35:24,730
I would recommend a moat around your house with sharpened spears.

725
00:35:26,570 --> 00:35:30,270
So there is a drawbridge because you got to get it out,

726
00:35:30,350 --> 00:35:31,870
but it's a voice activated drawbridge.

727
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:36,690
A moat and a voice activated drawbridge with spears?

728
00:35:36,910 --> 00:35:37,870
What about the HOA?

729
00:35:37,870 --> 00:35:41,790
Oh, you're already, you're not in an HOA neighborhood.

730
00:35:42,710 --> 00:35:43,910
Autonomy, baby.

731
00:35:44,450 --> 00:35:46,070
Okay, so this is only going to help people who...

732
00:35:46,070 --> 00:35:47,810
They don't have HOAs in Trinidad.

733
00:35:47,850 --> 00:35:51,210
You've already declared yourself a sovereign citizen at this point.

734
00:35:51,430 --> 00:35:51,570
Yeah.

735
00:35:52,490 --> 00:36:00,450
So if anybody tries to voice activate,

736
00:36:00,550 --> 00:36:03,490
because here's the trick with your voice activated mode.

737
00:36:03,490 --> 00:36:06,430
the

738
00:36:06,430 --> 00:36:13,910
because you'll say it'll be like a fun catchy phrase like open sesame right something winky

739
00:36:13,910 --> 00:36:20,790
and just like open sesame like that voice but it's only for you and your partner who those are

740
00:36:20,790 --> 00:36:27,050
the only voices that will actually lower the moat if somebody else tries to access it it'll lower

741
00:36:27,050 --> 00:36:34,070
the bridge over the moat but the second someone else tries to walk on it spears will come down

742
00:36:34,070 --> 00:36:38,350
like like wooden sticks that are sharpened at the edge like really primitive spears

743
00:36:38,350 --> 00:36:43,490
you're like yeah i don't want my mother-in-law to think that i'm in a polyamorous relationship

744
00:36:43,490 --> 00:36:48,890
but i will kill her well but you just pretend like it's like oh this was just i needed the

745
00:36:48,890 --> 00:36:55,410
best security and this is such a good security system and we can't add another profile to it

746
00:36:55,410 --> 00:36:57,230
we can't the max is too

747
00:36:57,230 --> 00:36:59,550
even though it costs all this money that somehow

748
00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:01,570
isn't allowed oh that's part of the reason

749
00:37:01,570 --> 00:37:03,550
why it's such a good security system the more people that have

750
00:37:03,550 --> 00:37:05,490
the key you know what I'm saying sorry

751
00:37:05,490 --> 00:37:06,430
Trinamonian

752
00:37:06,430 --> 00:37:09,930
sorry Bernice

753
00:37:09,930 --> 00:37:11,930
wow

754
00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:13,470
thank you

755
00:37:13,470 --> 00:37:14,770
that was something else

756
00:37:14,770 --> 00:37:16,970
so again yours a little more psychological

757
00:37:16,970 --> 00:37:18,170
mine a little more physical

758
00:37:18,170 --> 00:37:21,170
I'm going to try to be physical this next time

759
00:37:21,170 --> 00:37:22,030
okay

760
00:37:22,030 --> 00:37:23,630
join me won't you

761
00:37:23,630 --> 00:37:26,070
The water over here is just fine.

762
00:37:26,730 --> 00:37:27,470
Thank you.

763
00:37:28,770 --> 00:37:36,510
This next question comes from a listener who is on a research boat in the Arctic Circle.

764
00:37:37,090 --> 00:37:37,510
Whoa.

765
00:37:39,010 --> 00:37:40,210
This listener wants to know.

766
00:37:40,350 --> 00:37:41,510
Those ads really paid off.

767
00:37:41,890 --> 00:37:42,110
Mm-hmm.

768
00:37:42,450 --> 00:37:42,650
Yeah.

769
00:37:42,830 --> 00:37:43,010
Yeah.

770
00:37:43,730 --> 00:37:44,150
Thanks.

771
00:37:44,150 --> 00:37:44,250
Thanks.

772
00:37:48,350 --> 00:37:48,910
Anyways.

773
00:37:48,910 --> 00:37:54,210
what's the fastest way to get over an X

774
00:37:54,210 --> 00:37:59,790
this is a tough one

775
00:37:59,790 --> 00:38:04,170
there's obviously

776
00:38:04,170 --> 00:38:08,070
time heals all wounds but you're asking for something faster than just regular

777
00:38:08,070 --> 00:38:08,550
time

778
00:38:08,550 --> 00:38:13,990
so this is what I'd recommend

779
00:38:13,990 --> 00:38:18,430
go to

780
00:38:18,430 --> 00:38:19,950
Indianapolis

781
00:38:19,950 --> 00:38:22,670
where they drive

782
00:38:22,670 --> 00:38:23,830
Indiana?

783
00:38:24,830 --> 00:38:26,090
Yes, Indiana.

784
00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:28,310
Where they drive

785
00:38:28,310 --> 00:38:29,850
the

786
00:38:29,850 --> 00:38:31,390
Indy 500.

787
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:33,210
Oh, that makes sense.

788
00:38:35,350 --> 00:38:36,110
Find

789
00:38:36,110 --> 00:38:38,550
one of those drivers

790
00:38:38,550 --> 00:38:42,670
and ask him to give you a real fast rider

791
00:38:42,670 --> 00:38:43,190
on the track.

792
00:38:44,470 --> 00:38:44,490
And

793
00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:47,950
at the same time

794
00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:50,770
have a

795
00:38:50,770 --> 00:38:53,090
clock with you or watch

796
00:38:53,090 --> 00:38:56,650
that you

797
00:38:56,650 --> 00:38:59,110
put double the amount of batteries in

798
00:38:59,110 --> 00:39:00,790
so it moves twice as fast.

799
00:39:02,830 --> 00:39:05,090
I didn't know you could just fit more batteries in the thing.

800
00:39:05,690 --> 00:39:07,130
That's how watches work.

801
00:39:07,130 --> 00:39:08,450
I didn't, sorry.

802
00:39:08,910 --> 00:39:11,090
You are learning so much tonight.

803
00:39:11,470 --> 00:39:12,490
Do the watches have teeth?

804
00:39:14,250 --> 00:39:15,230
Yes, actually

805
00:39:15,230 --> 00:39:16,230
they do in the gears.

806
00:39:16,730 --> 00:39:17,750
They're called teeth.

807
00:39:17,950 --> 00:39:26,070
um so the driver takes you around the track several times it's fun by the way you're doing

808
00:39:26,070 --> 00:39:32,230
this it's fun you're going wee wee but you will get out of the car look at the watch and be like

809
00:39:32,230 --> 00:39:37,710
whoa so much time has passed that was way like it felt fast but it went way way faster

810
00:39:37,710 --> 00:39:41,630
so you will feel as if you have accelerated the amount of time since

811
00:39:41,630 --> 00:39:48,550
you broke up with can i just have a question you're the one putting the extra batteries in

812
00:39:48,550 --> 00:39:55,310
for the purpose of moving time faster and yet you will be surprised when you see that it has done so

813
00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:59,930
no no so here i i'm sorry i didn't get i haven't had a chance to explain this part of it yet

814
00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:07,410
you there are special sleeping pills that you take so the night before

815
00:40:07,410 --> 00:40:11,090
you put one of the sleeping pills into the handle of your toothbrush

816
00:40:11,090 --> 00:40:18,830
no joe this is real advice this so dedicated to the arctic circle go on

817
00:40:18,830 --> 00:40:24,730
you there's a sleeping pill where it's kind of like you're roofing yourself but not really

818
00:40:24,730 --> 00:40:28,750
like you get a nice and it's yourself so it's yourself who cares uh what are you gonna do

819
00:40:28,750 --> 00:40:36,270
yeah um so you you have special instructions when you this is for specifically for getting

820
00:40:36,270 --> 00:40:42,410
over an X. So it's like a kit that you buy with the watch and the extra batteries and the sleeping

821
00:40:42,410 --> 00:40:49,250
pill. You take the sleeping pill, the sleeping pill starts to work. And then like, there's a

822
00:40:49,250 --> 00:40:53,350
little alarm that goes off on the watch. You like tell the watch when you started it, right?

823
00:40:53,970 --> 00:40:58,710
The alarm goes off on the watch. You put the extra batteries in and this happens right at the period

824
00:40:58,710 --> 00:41:01,850
of time when the sleeping pill sets in where you're still awake and functional, but you're

825
00:41:01,850 --> 00:41:08,650
not going to remember this part the next day. Hypnagogic. Yep. So then, yes, exactly. So then

826
00:41:08,650 --> 00:41:16,110
you don't remember having put extra batteries in the watch. It also erases the memory of taking

827
00:41:16,110 --> 00:41:20,330
the sleeping pill and buying the kit. And deletes the transaction from your bank account.

828
00:41:21,410 --> 00:41:27,530
Yes. Wow, that's quite a kit you're selling. Well, I mean, sadly, people get dumped all the time.

829
00:41:27,530 --> 00:41:33,550
they do speaking of dumped i have an idea okay you give them laxatives

830
00:41:33,550 --> 00:41:43,330
okay um a lot of laxatives and you tell them you want to meet up and give them the last of their

831
00:41:43,330 --> 00:41:51,390
stuff and then they show up and they do not feel well because of the laxatives and they

832
00:41:51,390 --> 00:41:54,530
have to blow up the Starbucks bathroom.

833
00:41:55,470 --> 00:41:57,830
As everyone knows, once you get the ick.

834
00:41:58,050 --> 00:42:02,530
Wait, are you meeting them in Starbucks?

835
00:42:02,830 --> 00:42:04,610
Yeah, because you need to be there

836
00:42:04,610 --> 00:42:06,630
when you want them to disgust you.

837
00:42:07,630 --> 00:42:09,310
So you've given them the laxatives

838
00:42:09,310 --> 00:42:10,950
prior to the stuff exchange.

839
00:42:10,950 --> 00:42:13,250
Yeah, you know all about their life.

840
00:42:13,870 --> 00:42:15,830
You know how to get a laxative in that.

841
00:42:17,630 --> 00:42:20,370
I'm just saying, at least in my experience,

842
00:42:20,370 --> 00:42:25,930
As soon as someone does something like really gross to me or to me, you know, gross in the world.

843
00:42:26,410 --> 00:42:28,950
It's very easy to like not like them anymore.

844
00:42:29,270 --> 00:42:32,090
So if I was with someone and that happened, I'd be like, okay, thanks.

845
00:42:32,150 --> 00:42:32,730
I needed that.

846
00:42:33,930 --> 00:42:35,370
I'm up like up against the door.

847
00:42:37,270 --> 00:42:38,990
He's really going off in there.

848
00:42:39,730 --> 00:42:41,370
Well, got to go.

849
00:42:42,770 --> 00:42:43,170
Okay.

850
00:42:43,950 --> 00:42:47,830
So my kid only has lexatives, which we're reselling from the store.

851
00:42:50,370 --> 00:42:55,890
And it comes with a video camera so you can record the whole thing in case you ever want to remember it again.

852
00:42:56,590 --> 00:42:59,650
Actually, due to privacy laws, it only has a microphone, but that'll be enough.

853
00:43:00,350 --> 00:43:00,510
Yeah.

854
00:43:00,630 --> 00:43:02,070
Actually, this is interesting.

855
00:43:02,270 --> 00:43:04,870
Yours was very mental and yours was actually physical.

856
00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:06,590
I told you we were going to switch it up.

857
00:43:06,710 --> 00:43:07,350
Yeah, you did.

858
00:43:07,670 --> 00:43:08,370
Good job, you two.

859
00:43:08,910 --> 00:43:11,730
Yeah, that mental thing of going in an Indy 500 car.

860
00:43:11,730 --> 00:43:15,870
Well, the mental tricking yourself into thinking that time passes quickly.

861
00:43:16,290 --> 00:43:16,930
Yeah, that's true.

862
00:43:17,630 --> 00:43:18,030
All right.

863
00:43:18,310 --> 00:43:19,170
What's our next question?

864
00:43:20,370 --> 00:43:25,410
oh am i allowed to ask yes please well your our listeners are

865
00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:33,690
only listeners let me guess this next one's from don't tell me madagascar yes are you kidding no

866
00:43:33,690 --> 00:43:41,090
are you serious yes stop it no tell us where it's really from oh i believed you

867
00:43:41,090 --> 00:43:49,830
it's from tasmania oh i was gonna say tunisia you devil i know so it's it's close but not

868
00:43:49,830 --> 00:43:51,590
technically met. Okay, it's fine.

869
00:43:53,730 --> 00:43:54,250
What's

870
00:43:54,250 --> 00:43:55,770
the most productive

871
00:43:55,770 --> 00:43:57,690
way I can tell my partner to just

872
00:43:57,690 --> 00:43:59,010
shut up?

873
00:44:01,170 --> 00:44:01,630
Ooh.

874
00:44:02,530 --> 00:44:03,050
Okay.

875
00:44:05,890 --> 00:44:06,410
Productive?

876
00:44:08,590 --> 00:44:09,690
Effective, like

877
00:44:09,690 --> 00:44:10,370
least

878
00:44:10,370 --> 00:44:13,150
computational. No, no, no. What's the exact words of the submission?

879
00:44:13,390 --> 00:44:15,410
What did they want to know? The submission said productive.

880
00:44:15,750 --> 00:44:17,430
I would consider productive being

881
00:44:17,430 --> 00:44:19,710
like maximizing results

882
00:44:19,710 --> 00:44:21,470
but minimizing harm.

883
00:44:22,470 --> 00:44:22,990
So like,

884
00:44:23,790 --> 00:44:24,630
you don't want this to,

885
00:44:24,850 --> 00:44:25,390
because you could just,

886
00:44:25,550 --> 00:44:26,770
right now you could just say,

887
00:44:27,010 --> 00:44:27,590
shut up,

888
00:44:27,650 --> 00:44:29,030
but that's going to have some serious

889
00:44:29,030 --> 00:44:32,210
effects on your relationship.

890
00:44:32,490 --> 00:44:34,170
It's going to cause a whole lot of tension,

891
00:44:34,290 --> 00:44:35,350
a lot of anger or whatever.

892
00:44:35,530 --> 00:44:37,050
So if you're trying to avoid

893
00:44:37,050 --> 00:44:39,790
having those problems,

894
00:44:39,790 --> 00:44:41,010
yeah, what do you do?

895
00:44:41,210 --> 00:44:41,750
I've got it.

896
00:44:42,310 --> 00:44:42,650
Okay.

897
00:44:44,710 --> 00:44:46,210
You give them a sleeping pill?

898
00:44:47,270 --> 00:44:47,710
Nightly.

899
00:44:47,710 --> 00:44:50,890
a sleeping pill and a half.

900
00:44:51,890 --> 00:44:52,890
And when they're fully out,

901
00:44:53,950 --> 00:44:56,230
you take a little chisel and a hammer

902
00:44:56,230 --> 00:45:00,190
and you do one to two good whacks on their jaw

903
00:45:00,190 --> 00:45:04,370
so that over time you break the jaw.

904
00:45:05,090 --> 00:45:07,170
But it's never so much all at once.

905
00:45:07,870 --> 00:45:09,290
And you do this in a few places.

906
00:45:11,870 --> 00:45:13,350
Now you're the supportive partner.

907
00:45:13,830 --> 00:45:14,930
Oh, babe, your jaw hurts?

908
00:45:15,250 --> 00:45:15,650
What?

909
00:45:16,250 --> 00:45:16,770
Let me see.

910
00:45:17,330 --> 00:45:18,390
Oh, it does look a little swollen.

911
00:45:18,890 --> 00:45:19,250
Huh?

912
00:45:19,570 --> 00:45:20,390
I'll make you an appointment.

913
00:45:21,190 --> 00:45:22,350
Hey, hey, I'm with you.

914
00:45:22,570 --> 00:45:23,410
You looks maxing?

915
00:45:24,690 --> 00:45:25,490
You heard that?

916
00:45:25,590 --> 00:45:27,410
The looks maxing people that break their jaw?

917
00:45:27,710 --> 00:45:27,930
Yeah.

918
00:45:28,250 --> 00:45:29,090
I can make that joke.

919
00:45:29,130 --> 00:45:29,290
Yeah.

920
00:45:29,450 --> 00:45:29,770
Thanks.

921
00:45:30,010 --> 00:45:30,690
I'll put that in my pocket.

922
00:45:31,310 --> 00:45:32,090
You looks maxing, babe?

923
00:45:32,810 --> 00:45:33,330
Oh, I'm sorry.

924
00:45:33,390 --> 00:45:33,810
I shouldn't joke.

925
00:45:33,850 --> 00:45:34,610
You look like you're in pain.

926
00:45:34,990 --> 00:45:35,270
Hmm.

927
00:45:36,070 --> 00:45:36,330
Anyway.

928
00:45:36,330 --> 00:45:37,610
You looks maxed like you're in pain.

929
00:45:38,730 --> 00:45:39,850
We go to the doctor.

930
00:45:40,030 --> 00:45:41,350
Of course, there's multiple fractures.

931
00:45:41,430 --> 00:45:42,170
We don't know how this happened.

932
00:45:42,170 --> 00:45:42,690
Whoops.

933
00:45:43,290 --> 00:45:45,870
Now his jaw has to be wired shut.

934
00:45:45,870 --> 00:45:48,750
for probably six weeks.

935
00:45:50,110 --> 00:45:51,010
Guess who

936
00:45:51,010 --> 00:45:53,010
just shut up

937
00:45:53,010 --> 00:45:54,070
on medical orders?

938
00:45:54,270 --> 00:45:55,470
Jesus Christ.

939
00:45:55,870 --> 00:45:58,030
You didn't know that's where this was going?

940
00:45:58,290 --> 00:46:00,250
No, I knew, but I didn't realize you were going to go with

941
00:46:00,250 --> 00:46:02,310
wired shut. I thought it was just like,

942
00:46:02,510 --> 00:46:04,330
let's talk a little less.

943
00:46:05,130 --> 00:46:06,370
Don't work out

944
00:46:06,370 --> 00:46:07,530
your mouth as much.

945
00:46:09,530 --> 00:46:10,510
Are you at all

946
00:46:10,510 --> 00:46:12,210
concerned that they'll be extra chatty

947
00:46:12,210 --> 00:46:13,730
when the wires come off because

948
00:46:13,730 --> 00:46:16,550
they have six weeks worth of shit to talk about.

949
00:46:17,310 --> 00:46:19,190
No, I'm going to buy them a whiteboard and a marker.

950
00:46:19,630 --> 00:46:22,850
But then you're actually spending more time listening to their thoughts

951
00:46:22,850 --> 00:46:26,930
because it takes longer for them to write them out.

952
00:46:26,990 --> 00:46:27,250
You're right.

953
00:46:27,270 --> 00:46:28,450
I'll give them my email address.

954
00:46:29,650 --> 00:46:31,510
They currently don't have it.

955
00:46:31,710 --> 00:46:32,150
Right, yeah.

956
00:46:32,330 --> 00:46:35,470
So you've got to relent or make a burner account or something

957
00:46:35,470 --> 00:46:36,290
and give them that.

958
00:46:36,470 --> 00:46:36,810
Yeah.

959
00:46:37,130 --> 00:46:37,410
Okay.

960
00:46:37,510 --> 00:46:39,470
I'm going to say, wait until you have three things to tell me,

961
00:46:39,470 --> 00:46:40,330
then put it in an email,

962
00:46:40,510 --> 00:46:43,150
and then delete two of the things that aren't as cool as the third thing.

963
00:46:43,730 --> 00:46:43,990
Yeah.

964
00:46:44,890 --> 00:46:46,970
So to wrap things up, I only want one thing at a time.

965
00:46:47,610 --> 00:46:48,010
Yeah.

966
00:46:48,350 --> 00:46:49,170
I love you.

967
00:46:51,510 --> 00:46:55,810
I think that would work at least for six weeks.

968
00:46:56,770 --> 00:46:57,130
That's what?

969
00:46:57,170 --> 00:46:58,050
We start all over again.

970
00:46:58,790 --> 00:46:59,150
Whoops.

971
00:47:00,210 --> 00:47:00,590
Oh, no.

972
00:47:00,650 --> 00:47:01,770
Your jaw's breaking again.

973
00:47:02,410 --> 00:47:03,310
Munchausen by Chisel.

974
00:47:06,990 --> 00:47:09,850
Well, I think this has been a very successful Dr. Truth.

975
00:47:10,770 --> 00:47:12,330
I don't get to say how I would stop.

976
00:47:12,330 --> 00:47:18,810
someone oh see you're just you're just so good i thought you had answered already

977
00:47:18,810 --> 00:47:32,090
so i would put a full page ad in a newspaper the newspaper that i knew my partner read

978
00:47:32,090 --> 00:47:37,510
that you news oh you nobody better break your jaw

979
00:47:37,510 --> 00:47:42,690
Um, and nobody gonna slow you down.

980
00:47:42,930 --> 00:47:55,910
Oh, uh, I would then, the ad would be world's greatest silent contest.

981
00:47:57,990 --> 00:48:05,770
Anyone open to the whole world, but prize $10 million.

982
00:48:05,770 --> 00:48:11,750
dollars but it's worldwide you're opening this up to the whole world

983
00:48:11,750 --> 00:48:15,470
yeah well because the great thing about this is there's no way to prove

984
00:48:15,470 --> 00:48:21,550
i think that there is because there's strict rules about contests it's

985
00:48:21,550 --> 00:48:27,450
it's not a real contest but the newspaper believes it is i'm going to in the tiniest

986
00:48:27,450 --> 00:48:33,170
little print possible there's going to be a the a little like asterisk at the bottom that says

987
00:48:33,170 --> 00:48:35,630
parody, this isn't real. So it covers me

988
00:48:35,630 --> 00:48:37,550
legal. What if your significant other

989
00:48:37,550 --> 00:48:39,430
sees that? They're going to be... No, no, no, no.

990
00:48:39,530 --> 00:48:41,650
I will break their reading glasses.

991
00:48:42,930 --> 00:48:43,630
And it'll just be

992
00:48:43,630 --> 00:48:45,510
huge. And plus, they are

993
00:48:45,510 --> 00:48:47,550
so excited. They want

994
00:48:47,550 --> 00:48:49,570
$10 million. I mean, who doesn't want $10

995
00:48:49,570 --> 00:48:51,430
million? But the problem is,

996
00:48:51,550 --> 00:48:53,430
it's like, okay, all of our

997
00:48:53,430 --> 00:48:55,630
submissions, it's going to go, and it lasts

998
00:48:55,630 --> 00:49:07,485
as long as there someone that still being silent And where does this information How do they know they know who still playing Well that the thing They just have to appeal to

999
00:49:07,485 --> 00:49:09,725
So every day they check in and they're like,

1000
00:49:09,725 --> 00:49:11,005
is the contest still on?

1001
00:49:12,545 --> 00:49:14,125
They're checking in with the newspaper

1002
00:49:14,125 --> 00:49:15,705
and what Jenna didn't tell you

1003
00:49:15,705 --> 00:49:17,325
and why she's able to get away with these rules

1004
00:49:17,325 --> 00:49:19,985
is that she's doing all of this in an underdeveloped country

1005
00:49:19,985 --> 00:49:21,745
in Europe, so she doesn't have to deal with

1006
00:49:21,745 --> 00:49:22,785
the U.S. Gaming Commission.

1007
00:49:23,025 --> 00:49:24,485
So she can get around those rules

1008
00:49:24,485 --> 00:49:29,385
and she can just bribe the editor-in-chief of the local newspaper.

1009
00:49:29,705 --> 00:49:32,285
Oh, that underdeveloped European country.

1010
00:49:32,525 --> 00:49:33,905
Yeah, I don't know, like Kosovo.

1011
00:49:35,945 --> 00:49:37,265
That's a country, I think.

1012
00:49:37,305 --> 00:49:37,665
Yeah, it is.

1013
00:49:37,665 --> 00:49:38,585
It sounds like Kokomo.

1014
00:49:39,105 --> 00:49:42,505
But so regardless, it's everyday check-in.

1015
00:49:44,645 --> 00:49:48,665
And then if they're like,

1016
00:49:48,785 --> 00:49:50,745
no, the contest is like a number that you could call.

1017
00:49:50,965 --> 00:49:52,645
The contest is still on.

1018
00:49:52,805 --> 00:49:52,945
Oh, good.

1019
00:49:52,985 --> 00:49:54,365
You don't have to talk to get the information.

1020
00:49:54,365 --> 00:49:54,865
It's a recording.

1021
00:49:55,205 --> 00:49:55,385
Yeah.

1022
00:49:55,505 --> 00:49:57,405
You just, it's like when you call to get like the time.

1023
00:49:57,405 --> 00:50:01,245
It'd be funny if when you first call, it's like, um, hello, are you calling about the

1024
00:50:01,245 --> 00:50:01,705
contest?

1025
00:50:01,805 --> 00:50:03,745
And then like a beat and it's like, ah, I almost got you.

1026
00:50:05,305 --> 00:50:06,425
Listen after the beep.

1027
00:50:07,485 --> 00:50:13,505
And then, so then it, you like every single day, oh, I guess you can't talk then.

1028
00:50:13,845 --> 00:50:16,285
Ooh, sorry, but we really need that $10 million.

1029
00:50:17,705 --> 00:50:17,925
What?

1030
00:50:18,165 --> 00:50:19,305
Oh, no, no, don't tell me.

1031
00:50:20,865 --> 00:50:21,265
Yeah.

1032
00:50:21,345 --> 00:50:21,965
So then.

1033
00:50:22,605 --> 00:50:24,345
But what about your relationship?

1034
00:50:24,365 --> 00:50:25,865
because when they find out this isn't true,

1035
00:50:25,925 --> 00:50:27,585
they're going to be totally inconsolable.

1036
00:50:27,785 --> 00:50:28,965
They're never going to find out

1037
00:50:28,965 --> 00:50:30,945
because the contest never ends.

1038
00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:33,765
Contest never ends

1039
00:50:33,765 --> 00:50:36,185
because there's still always one person.

1040
00:50:36,865 --> 00:50:38,225
So like literally it could be like

1041
00:50:38,225 --> 00:50:39,525
anyone that's playing,

1042
00:50:39,605 --> 00:50:40,405
if they die,

1043
00:50:40,885 --> 00:50:42,945
they think they died with the contest still going.

1044
00:50:42,945 --> 00:50:43,345
Plus,

1045
00:50:43,465 --> 00:50:46,765
how are they going to tell other people about this contest?

1046
00:50:47,485 --> 00:50:48,285
They can't.

1047
00:50:48,425 --> 00:50:48,785
They can't.

1048
00:50:50,765 --> 00:50:51,205
Wow.

1049
00:50:51,465 --> 00:50:52,205
Okay, that's interesting.

1050
00:50:52,405 --> 00:50:52,545
Yeah.

1051
00:50:52,545 --> 00:50:54,565
so anyway

1052
00:50:54,565 --> 00:50:57,745
and the prize money was so high

1053
00:50:57,745 --> 00:50:59,445
and yet I am the only one who

1054
00:50:59,445 --> 00:51:01,445
willingly opted into this contest

1055
00:51:01,445 --> 00:51:03,125
even though it was worldwide

1056
00:51:03,125 --> 00:51:04,305
for 10 million dollars

1057
00:51:04,305 --> 00:51:07,685
that's the thing is it's like we don't know who the other participants are

1058
00:51:07,685 --> 00:51:08,845
yeah plus the small font

1059
00:51:08,845 --> 00:51:10,925
yeah plus that small font

1060
00:51:10,925 --> 00:51:13,785
so and I know this about my partner

1061
00:51:13,785 --> 00:51:15,385
they don't read fine print

1062
00:51:15,385 --> 00:51:16,385
that's fair

1063
00:51:16,385 --> 00:51:17,385
so anyway

1064
00:51:17,385 --> 00:51:20,845
that's how I do it

1065
00:51:20,845 --> 00:51:23,225
now

1066
00:51:23,225 --> 00:51:25,745
now it's been a very successful segment

1067
00:51:25,745 --> 00:51:26,465
of Dr. Truth

1068
00:51:26,465 --> 00:51:27,465
thank you Dr. Truth

1069
00:51:27,465 --> 00:51:28,385
you're welks

1070
00:51:28,385 --> 00:51:32,865
you're welcome

1071
00:51:32,865 --> 00:51:36,605
aren't we Dr. Truth

1072
00:51:36,605 --> 00:51:37,505
thank us

1073
00:51:37,505 --> 00:51:40,165
thank you us

1074
00:51:40,165 --> 00:51:41,065
thank you

1075
00:51:41,065 --> 00:51:42,645
us

1076
00:51:42,645 --> 00:51:45,385
alright

1077
00:51:45,385 --> 00:51:47,985
it's time for our final segment

1078
00:51:47,985 --> 00:51:50,185
the big

1079
00:51:50,185 --> 00:51:51,385
question.

1080
00:51:52,525 --> 00:51:54,925
The question is very big.

1081
00:51:56,325 --> 00:51:57,345
Do you have one for me?

1082
00:51:57,725 --> 00:51:59,305
No. I have one for you. Okay, good.

1083
00:51:59,385 --> 00:52:01,305
Thank you. Thank you for messing with me, though.

1084
00:52:01,425 --> 00:52:02,225
Of course. It's fun.

1085
00:52:03,365 --> 00:52:05,325
Here's my question. Guess what?

1086
00:52:05,685 --> 00:52:06,645
Guess what, Juby?

1087
00:52:07,245 --> 00:52:09,125
You have just been selected

1088
00:52:09,125 --> 00:52:11,425
to start a new company.

1089
00:52:11,425 --> 00:52:11,645
Ah!

1090
00:52:13,085 --> 00:52:15,225
Yeah, you have all this money. I'm done with this

1091
00:52:15,225 --> 00:52:16,525
voice. You have all this money.

1092
00:52:17,845 --> 00:52:19,265
And you have been tasked

1093
00:52:19,265 --> 00:52:21,625
with starting a new restaurant franchise.

1094
00:52:22,425 --> 00:52:22,865
Yeah.

1095
00:52:23,485 --> 00:52:25,005
It can be fast food or sit down.

1096
00:52:25,085 --> 00:52:25,905
You have to have a concept.

1097
00:52:26,465 --> 00:52:27,685
What's special about it?

1098
00:52:27,865 --> 00:52:29,905
And what do you serve?

1099
00:52:30,645 --> 00:52:31,625
I don't need a whole menu.

1100
00:52:31,885 --> 00:52:32,545
I just need an idea.

1101
00:52:33,105 --> 00:52:33,985
And I need a name.

1102
00:52:36,485 --> 00:52:39,085
And $1 million in seed capital to get it started.

1103
00:52:40,085 --> 00:52:41,965
Well, as soon as I win this contest.

1104
00:52:44,385 --> 00:52:45,605
The one you just lost?

1105
00:52:45,885 --> 00:52:46,505
Oh, no.

1106
00:52:46,505 --> 00:52:46,865
No.

1107
00:52:48,065 --> 00:52:51,305
It's a terrible thing to have a podcast when you're in this contest.

1108
00:52:51,305 --> 00:52:52,445
Contest.

1109
00:52:56,445 --> 00:53:06,305
It would be called.

1110
00:53:10,225 --> 00:53:12,145
It would be called.

1111
00:53:13,105 --> 00:53:13,905
Grandma's.

1112
00:53:15,605 --> 00:53:16,305
Grandma's.

1113
00:53:16,505 --> 00:53:22,405
kitchen grandma's grandma's kitchen no just grandma's okay i added the kitchen i was thinking

1114
00:53:22,405 --> 00:53:32,885
his grandma's enough grandma's kitchen yes um this is how it would work fuck is your word grandma

1115
00:53:32,885 --> 00:53:37,465
you'll find out okay

1116
00:53:37,465 --> 00:53:46,445
so it would essentially um you know how like like super nice restaurants like comb people

1117
00:53:46,445 --> 00:53:55,685
social media and their ponies. Yes. And comb their ponies. Um, that they, they like try to

1118
00:53:55,685 --> 00:54:02,405
find out things about them to like give like nice targeted targets. Like, yeah, yeah. This restaurant

1119
00:54:02,405 --> 00:54:11,625
for every customer that came in would have a different menu for each customer.

1120
00:54:11,625 --> 00:54:22,625
i love it it would only have one item and it would be whatever the most comforting dish from

1121
00:54:22,625 --> 00:54:30,245
that person's childhood is they're not allowed to order anything else it's just like what's the

1122
00:54:30,245 --> 00:54:37,145
meal that you love the most as a child and so everybody goes there and everybody gets a different

1123
00:54:37,145 --> 00:54:42,225
experience because everyone has a different dish that although there's probably a lot of dishes

1124
00:54:42,225 --> 00:54:53,425
that get repeated sure yeah you're never gonna know yeah um so it would be a comfort place uh that's

1125
00:54:54,145 --> 00:55:01,185
uh yeah that's like well curated and then it would be so i know what you're thinking it would be

1126
00:55:01,185 --> 00:55:07,045
This is a lot of legwork to do for a restaurant.

1127
00:55:08,325 --> 00:55:19,365
But it'll be worth it because, I mean, everybody that comes in is going to have this like insane nostalgia and and overwhelming warmth.

1128
00:55:21,505 --> 00:55:29,805
And this feeling of just like this was the most comforting, like soothing meal of my life.

1129
00:55:29,805 --> 00:55:33,805
and then word gets around and then it's like a firestorm

1130
00:55:33,805 --> 00:55:40,605
and then everyone suddenly wants to pay to be part of this.

1131
00:55:40,765 --> 00:55:41,585
So it pays for itself.

1132
00:55:41,665 --> 00:55:44,485
There's a little bit up front that it doesn't.

1133
00:55:44,805 --> 00:55:46,005
Yeah, and when you're checking out,

1134
00:55:46,005 --> 00:55:50,605
there could be a give us $1 extra just to help option.

1135
00:55:51,105 --> 00:55:51,285
Yeah.

1136
00:55:51,605 --> 00:55:53,045
Help grandmas grandmas.

1137
00:55:55,425 --> 00:55:56,705
Yeah, so.

1138
00:55:56,705 --> 00:56:01,185
I think it would take off personally.

1139
00:56:02,045 --> 00:56:04,105
I would go because I want to see what my special.

1140
00:56:04,205 --> 00:56:04,345
Right.

1141
00:56:04,525 --> 00:56:05,465
You don't even know.

1142
00:56:05,525 --> 00:56:06,645
That's the other thing is it's,

1143
00:56:07,165 --> 00:56:07,945
it is,

1144
00:56:08,045 --> 00:56:10,645
it's revealing to you because unless you've come right out and been like,

1145
00:56:10,705 --> 00:56:13,005
this is the thing that I love the most from my childhood.

1146
00:56:15,045 --> 00:56:16,545
It could be like a surprise.

1147
00:56:16,725 --> 00:56:17,245
You'd be like,

1148
00:56:17,325 --> 00:56:17,605
Oh,

1149
00:56:17,885 --> 00:56:19,965
like I haven't actually specifically said,

1150
00:56:20,045 --> 00:56:20,865
what are they going to give me?

1151
00:56:21,745 --> 00:56:22,825
So I'm going to stop that.

1152
00:56:22,865 --> 00:56:23,545
There's not even a menu.

1153
00:56:23,545 --> 00:56:25,905
You just get served an item when you come in.

1154
00:56:26,705 --> 00:56:34,485
this is a winner thank you grandma's kitchen grandma's kitchen and

1155
00:56:34,485 --> 00:56:42,805
is kitchen my word no uh you'll be catching up real quick if that was the case i can't help

1156
00:56:42,805 --> 00:56:50,645
myself but repeat it great job yeah thank you and i i really think yeah that everyone would want to

1157
00:56:50,645 --> 00:56:55,945
go i would because like even if it's something like chinese buffet was your favorite meal as a

1158
00:56:55,945 --> 00:56:59,465
child, there would be a little Chinese buffet set up just for you.

1159
00:57:00,145 --> 00:57:03,425
But there is no, I don't want to say the K word again.

1160
00:57:04,105 --> 00:57:08,545
There's none of that, but people are just finding out what you want and then running

1161
00:57:08,545 --> 00:57:10,685
out to another restaurant and getting it and bringing it back.

1162
00:57:11,005 --> 00:57:13,545
No, the thing is our staff is talented enough.

1163
00:57:13,545 --> 00:57:19,685
And really, like I said, there's, there's probably the number of unique comfort dishes

1164
00:57:19,685 --> 00:57:22,865
from someone's childhood are, there's not going to be that many.

1165
00:57:22,945 --> 00:57:24,625
You're going to get a lot of Mac Mac and cheeses.

1166
00:57:24,765 --> 00:57:25,045
Oh yeah.

1167
00:57:25,045 --> 00:57:33,325
um my comfort meal was 10 soft tacos supremes from taco bell was there something nine not

1168
00:57:33,325 --> 00:57:41,365
comforted 11 too many it was a 10 for 10 deal ah man yeah i said beg for it francis what's your

1169
00:57:41,365 --> 00:57:49,445
secret special restaurant my secret special restaurant yeah mine is your grandma's grandma's

1170
00:57:49,445 --> 00:57:57,165
kitchen i'm not saying that again just in case um i think it would be um

1171
00:57:57,165 --> 00:58:05,245
a jungle nope i take it back it's not a jungle i don't know the pita persuasion

1172
00:58:05,245 --> 00:58:13,265
or a rain foresty type look yeah that's what i was like nope that's already been done um my

1173
00:58:13,265 --> 00:58:22,185
my solution to this is um it's it's movie themed and it changes

1174
00:58:22,185 --> 00:58:29,125
um like quarterly right so like you go in and it's like everything's like die hard

1175
00:58:29,125 --> 00:58:37,085
you know and like even some people are talking like die hard you know they get other tables

1176
00:58:37,085 --> 00:58:40,685
not everyone's a customer but it's all like the scene then they'll change and then next

1177
00:58:40,685 --> 00:58:42,125
quarters can be a totally different movie.

1178
00:58:42,605 --> 00:58:44,705
And like, if it's Titanic, it's like, it's an

1179
00:58:44,705 --> 00:58:46,705
emergency. Like you're being served, but like people

1180
00:58:46,705 --> 00:58:48,645
are like running by and like life jackets and

1181
00:58:48,645 --> 00:58:50,265
stuff and screaming,

1182
00:58:50,545 --> 00:58:52,685
you know, and like maybe the floor is

1183
00:58:52,685 --> 00:58:54,725
tilted a little. You know how those, they

1184
00:58:54,725 --> 00:58:56,745
have those like restaurants where the floor

1185
00:58:56,745 --> 00:58:58,725
goes in a circle for like 90 minutes. Maybe

1186
00:58:58,725 --> 00:59:00,805
this is like tilting. And then by the time

1187
00:59:00,805 --> 00:59:02,665
you, your stuff is moving, you have to

1188
00:59:02,665 --> 00:59:02,925
leave.

1189
00:59:05,585 --> 00:59:06,725
So it's just an immersive.

1190
00:59:07,525 --> 00:59:08,945
There's a little to go

1191
00:59:08,945 --> 00:59:10,165
bag at the downward slope.

1192
00:59:10,685 --> 00:59:18,825
it's time for you to go slides yeah and that'd be fun hmm yeah i love a good themed restaurant

1193
00:59:18,825 --> 00:59:26,285
oh if it was like the movie seven like your doggy bag could be a box yeah what's in the box

1194
00:59:26,285 --> 00:59:27,845
you can't open it take it home

1195
00:59:27,845 --> 00:59:39,525
weird ass theme i was gonna do schindler's list yeah hey see it's for when you're on a diet

1196
00:59:39,525 --> 00:59:42,345
you don't need to eat that much

1197
00:59:42,345 --> 00:59:43,105
yeah

1198
00:59:43,105 --> 00:59:46,185
yeah I love a good theme

1199
00:59:46,185 --> 00:59:47,805
yeah I was going to call it movie munch

1200
00:59:47,805 --> 00:59:54,105
the word

1201
00:59:54,105 --> 00:59:55,425
that word is

1202
00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:57,005
is it reserved

1203
00:59:57,005 --> 00:59:59,685
no it's just

1204
00:59:59,685 --> 01:00:02,125
but I don't know

1205
01:00:02,125 --> 01:00:04,285
I don't know if it's

1206
01:00:04,285 --> 01:00:05,865
an appetizing word

1207
01:00:05,865 --> 01:00:07,105
too teethy

1208
01:00:07,105 --> 01:00:07,945
Hmm.

1209
01:00:09,085 --> 01:00:11,205
Not tuby enough.

1210
01:00:12,585 --> 01:00:20,725
Well, I think Grandma's Kitchen and your movie restaurant are...

1211
01:00:20,725 --> 01:00:22,165
Don't do it like that.

1212
01:00:22,865 --> 01:00:24,685
No, I'm doing it like that.

1213
01:00:25,245 --> 01:00:26,445
What about Movie Mouth?

1214
01:00:27,445 --> 01:00:28,205
Movie Mouth?

1215
01:00:28,725 --> 01:00:29,025
Yeah.

1216
01:00:30,725 --> 01:00:31,345
I don't know.

1217
01:00:31,705 --> 01:00:32,805
What about Mouth Munch?

1218
01:00:33,385 --> 01:00:34,685
What about Swallow Cinema?

1219
01:00:37,105 --> 01:00:38,465
Well, you know, we'll figure it out.

1220
01:00:38,705 --> 01:00:40,105
Yeah, we can workshop that.

1221
01:00:40,105 --> 01:00:40,925
We'll hack it in post.

1222
01:00:42,625 --> 01:00:43,185
Great.

1223
01:00:43,505 --> 01:00:48,505
Well, I think we've successfully answered the big question.

1224
01:00:49,245 --> 01:00:50,325
The big question.

1225
01:00:51,245 --> 01:00:53,425
One final bit of business, Francis.

1226
01:00:53,445 --> 01:00:54,205
What would that be, Joobs?

1227
01:00:55,225 --> 01:00:57,025
Secret word time.

1228
01:00:59,025 --> 01:01:00,425
I got to be honest with you.

1229
01:01:00,625 --> 01:01:00,945
Okay.

1230
01:01:00,945 --> 01:01:06,045
I was not doing a good job of monitoring your speech the way I should have been.

1231
01:01:06,425 --> 01:01:06,525
Oh.

1232
01:01:06,525 --> 01:01:08,905
I have a few guesses and I don't think I've gotten.

1233
01:01:09,305 --> 01:01:10,225
Okay, well, I love to hear that.

1234
01:01:10,265 --> 01:01:10,665
So go ahead.

1235
01:01:11,625 --> 01:01:13,445
Is your word assaulted?

1236
01:01:14,345 --> 01:01:14,785
No.

1237
01:01:17,905 --> 01:01:18,385
Allergens?

1238
01:01:19,525 --> 01:01:19,965
No.

1239
01:01:22,345 --> 01:01:22,785
Concept?

1240
01:01:23,945 --> 01:01:24,425
No.

1241
01:01:25,865 --> 01:01:26,905
Okay, my last guess.

1242
01:01:27,805 --> 01:01:28,825
Is it munch?

1243
01:01:30,605 --> 01:01:31,045
No.

1244
01:01:31,345 --> 01:01:31,665
Okay.

1245
01:01:31,725 --> 01:01:34,485
For someone who didn't monitor my speech, you sure had a lot of guesses written down.

1246
01:01:34,485 --> 01:01:34,885
No.

1247
01:01:34,885 --> 01:01:40,645
my word are you ready yeah my word was anorexia oh

1248
01:01:40,645 --> 01:01:49,645
that was a long one yeah and my decoy word was inconsolable

1249
01:01:49,645 --> 01:01:56,445
what i'm what i'm trying to remember when wait when did you say anorexia i remember when you

1250
01:01:56,445 --> 01:02:02,365
said you were eating yes that's right yes that's right oh i should have guessed guillotine um but

1251
01:02:02,365 --> 01:02:03,905
No, that actually did occur to me.

1252
01:02:03,965 --> 01:02:04,465
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

1253
01:02:04,845 --> 01:02:07,845
Hearing the correct word, you think in retrospect.

1254
01:02:08,485 --> 01:02:10,725
Well, no, that's what I'm talking about.

1255
01:02:10,925 --> 01:02:13,825
I should have heard the word guillotine, and that should have been one of my guesses.

1256
01:02:14,185 --> 01:02:14,405
Okay.

1257
01:02:15,205 --> 01:02:15,925
Yes, okay.

1258
01:02:16,565 --> 01:02:18,445
And then inconsolable.

1259
01:02:18,765 --> 01:02:18,945
Yeah.

1260
01:02:20,445 --> 01:02:21,425
When did you say that?

1261
01:02:22,825 --> 01:02:27,045
When you were talking about the contest that you made up,

1262
01:02:27,445 --> 01:02:29,525
and I said when they found out they'd be inconsolable.

1263
01:02:29,525 --> 01:02:30,345
Yes, yeah.

1264
01:02:31,425 --> 01:02:32,065
Oh, really?

1265
01:02:32,365 --> 01:02:33,825
All right, my turn.

1266
01:02:34,445 --> 01:02:34,765
Okay.

1267
01:02:35,025 --> 01:02:35,545
I'm scared.

1268
01:02:35,945 --> 01:02:37,905
Is it grandma?

1269
01:02:38,865 --> 01:02:39,345
No.

1270
01:02:39,505 --> 01:02:40,025
Oh, thank God.

1271
01:02:40,085 --> 01:02:40,485
Is it kitchen?

1272
01:02:40,885 --> 01:02:41,225
Nope.

1273
01:02:41,405 --> 01:02:41,825
Thank goodness.

1274
01:02:42,505 --> 01:02:43,485
All right, let's get to the meat.

1275
01:02:44,845 --> 01:02:46,345
The first thing I wrote down was bleach.

1276
01:02:47,585 --> 01:02:49,065
No, you can't drink bleach.

1277
01:02:49,345 --> 01:02:49,825
That's not it.

1278
01:02:49,845 --> 01:02:50,025
No.

1279
01:02:51,065 --> 01:02:54,385
Let's just get yourself a big mug of bleach.

1280
01:02:54,465 --> 01:02:55,005
Don't do it.

1281
01:02:55,065 --> 01:02:58,045
Curl up next to your favorite speaker and listen to our podcast.

1282
01:02:58,705 --> 01:03:00,305
Right now at grandma's kitchen.

1283
01:03:00,305 --> 01:03:03,165
that was my favorite meal as a child

1284
01:03:03,165 --> 01:03:03,785
yeah

1285
01:03:03,785 --> 01:03:05,765
what if someone goes to grandma's kitchen

1286
01:03:05,765 --> 01:03:08,305
and they just have like a little thing of toothpaste

1287
01:03:08,305 --> 01:03:10,385
and that was their comfort meal

1288
01:03:10,385 --> 01:03:11,625
was it you?

1289
01:03:12,405 --> 01:03:12,665
no

1290
01:03:12,665 --> 01:03:15,445
anonymously

1291
01:03:15,445 --> 01:03:16,805
nope

1292
01:03:16,805 --> 01:03:18,505
ketchup

1293
01:03:18,505 --> 01:03:19,505
nope

1294
01:03:19,505 --> 01:03:22,325
Indianapolis

1295
01:03:22,325 --> 01:03:23,405
no

1296
01:03:23,405 --> 01:03:25,265
legwork

1297
01:03:25,265 --> 01:03:26,505
nope

1298
01:03:26,505 --> 01:03:29,985
moat

1299
01:03:30,445 --> 01:03:30,965
Nope.

1300
01:03:31,585 --> 01:03:33,625
These are all regular ideas that I had.

1301
01:03:33,705 --> 01:03:34,185
Drawbridge.

1302
01:03:34,805 --> 01:03:35,105
Nope.

1303
01:03:37,805 --> 01:03:38,325
Firestorm.

1304
01:03:39,065 --> 01:03:40,085
That was my decoy word.

1305
01:03:41,425 --> 01:03:42,685
You had a bunch.

1306
01:03:43,045 --> 01:03:45,705
Yeah, you flew too close to the sun, my friend.

1307
01:03:45,725 --> 01:03:46,325
Got burned.

1308
01:03:46,625 --> 01:03:49,685
Which I'm pretty sure legwork was a secret word on a prior episode.

1309
01:03:50,405 --> 01:03:50,825
Was it?

1310
01:03:50,965 --> 01:03:51,605
I think so.

1311
01:03:52,005 --> 01:03:52,685
Damn it.

1312
01:03:53,205 --> 01:03:54,065
All right, what was your word?

1313
01:03:54,765 --> 01:03:56,805
My word was generating.

1314
01:03:56,805 --> 01:04:05,365
and you know my decoy word was firestorm you know that because you guessed it oh yeah you got a

1315
01:04:05,365 --> 01:04:13,745
point i got a point one point for jubes oh yeah well i still am losing but i need to stop that

1316
01:04:13,745 --> 01:04:23,405
you're gonna win um yeah well uh all in all i feel pretty good about that i saw you write down

1317
01:04:23,405 --> 01:04:25,685
Firestorm after I said it. I was like, thank God.

1318
01:04:25,745 --> 01:04:27,745
I hope he doesn't say, I think this is your decoy.

1319
01:04:29,905 --> 01:04:31,965
I'm feeling pretty good right now.

1320
01:04:32,985 --> 01:04:33,425
Whatever.

1321
01:04:33,745 --> 01:04:34,705
No contest

1322
01:04:34,705 --> 01:04:37,545
for $10 million from me.

1323
01:04:37,685 --> 01:04:39,505
I'm going to speak all I want.

1324
01:04:39,665 --> 01:04:39,985
Me too.

1325
01:04:40,145 --> 01:04:41,285
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

1326
01:04:42,645 --> 01:04:43,045
Well.

1327
01:04:43,285 --> 01:04:44,625
That's why I chose to speak, I guess.

1328
01:04:45,005 --> 01:04:47,245
Thank you for listening.

1329
01:04:47,805 --> 01:04:48,625
Thank you.

1330
01:04:48,965 --> 01:04:51,525
Go to veryfinefriends.com if you want to see the

1331
01:04:51,525 --> 01:04:52,365
point total.

1332
01:04:53,405 --> 01:04:56,825
And follow us on social media at Very Fine Friends.

1333
01:04:58,085 --> 01:05:00,505
Joe, did you find legwork in the past paperwork?

1334
01:05:01,045 --> 01:05:03,005
That was only from episode 10.

1335
01:05:03,065 --> 01:05:05,005
I'm pretty sure it was in an early episode.

1336
01:05:05,105 --> 01:05:05,805
An earlier episode? Okay.

1337
01:05:05,945 --> 01:05:07,225
I think it was like six or seven.

1338
01:05:07,545 --> 01:05:08,025
Bye, everyone.

1339
01:05:09,025 --> 01:05:09,465
Bye.

1340
01:05:09,465 --> 01:05:09,545
Bye.
