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I saw a new phrase today online. Are you familiar with the term Irish goodbye?

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Is that where you just leave?

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Yeah. So yeah, for our listeners at home, it's called an Irish goodbye when you're like at a

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party or something and uh you just leave without saying goodbye to anybody uh i'm a big fan of

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this tactic personally well there are rules to that oh okay like there has to be enough people

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at the event that your exit goes by unnoticed right yeah you can't just like get up from like

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you can't be like francis's neighbor and just get up and walk out completely completely noticed

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uh well anyway the danish have a term for it which i like better than irish goodbye

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the danish call it taking the rat taxi why do they call it this i don't know but it's their

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term for leaving a party without saying goodbye to anybody if you had to justify the name what

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would you say you're a rat for doing that so you're getting out of there you're taking the rat taxi

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oh the rat taxi's here it's here to take the rats out of the party

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okay because people like i like doing that i like taking the rat taxi but i know people don't like it

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when it happens to them i wonder how they culturally how the danish feel about rats because

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that could um yeah maybe they love it maybe they love them yeah i do picture a little rat driving a

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taxi that might be why there's two taxis and people use them as shoes and they drive them away

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yeah straddling both taxis yep yeah that has to be it that's gotta be it the shoes each have a

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little sidecar attached to them i was thinking there was like a big rod connecting them so they

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don't get like too far off yeah yeah stay together but the rod is just a shoelace

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yes feet shoulder with the bark if you had to come up with your own term for

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leaving without notice what would it be oh um i should have known you would ask me this

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question. Yeah, you should have.

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What the goddamn hell? Well, do you have a term?

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You come up with what I should have known you'd ask me after I asked you.

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Yeah. Let's see.

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Let's do a play on peeping Tom. Tom's no longer peeping.

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Sleeping Tom. Why a play on peeping

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Tom? Because he's not looking at the party anymore. He's leaving.

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I like the idea that in your mind, when you're at a party, you're just being pervy.

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So when you leave that party, you stop being pervy.

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Sneaking Tom.

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Sneaking away.

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Reverse delivery.

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Car dash.

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Car dash?

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Yeah.

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Instead of door dash, instead of running to the door, you're running to your car.

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Car dash.

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sounds like the name of a famous like indian executive producer or something

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kardash oh the kardashians now i don't like it oh oh wow i was right there yeah i called a

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kardashian to pick me up i kardash'd yeah i don't know their number so sleeping tom

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tom's taking the rat taxi home to sleep you say ain't no rat taxi

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throw in a

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like

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I was thinking of like two sheets to the wind

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so like sheet throwing

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sheet tossing

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sheet cape

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because you're going so fast the sheet becomes

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a cape in the wind

51
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it's also like

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sheet cake

53
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which they often have at parties

54
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they do, only the good ones

55
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when I go into a party and there's no sheet cake

56
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not only do I leave, I overturn furniture

57
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Oh, so they're very aware of your exit and why you're leaving.

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And I'm screaming no sheet cake as I turn over the couch.

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I'm taking the rat taxi.

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I've already called it.

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What do you do?

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What do you call, what would be a phrase for a dramatic exit from a party?

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So the opposite of an Irish goodbye, the opposite of taking the rat taxi.

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Oh, well now I feel like sheet tossing is that one.

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And I need to come up with a new name for leaving quietly.

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Yeah.

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Um, Gasper.

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Gasper, the angry host.

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Yeah, I think that's it.

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All right.

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Welcome to very fine friends.

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Podcast for friends.

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Talk about stuff.

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Sugar crush.

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Yeah.

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Still having fun with our, our new podcasting toy.

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um well i like your bracelet francis you do yeah thanks someone this is so interesting

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i don't know francis has a blue and green bracelet on right now yeah and it's youthful

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it is youthful it looks fun it looks summery it's made of rubber it's made of it looks like a

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summertime like i could you wear this at the beach you could you could totally i wear it in the shower

81
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you know this reminds of those little rubber bands that they put on orthodontia yes yeah so let me

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tell you where I got it. Okay. A coworker of mine sent me a shirt. He's like, Oh, do you,

83
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he had these braces and now he's just punched him real quick. And I made a bracelet. Um,

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he sent me a shirt cause I was like, he's like, Oh, I have an extra like branded shirt if you

85
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want it. So he's like, he mailed it to me and in the package was this bracelet and it has the

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letter F on it. Wow. But I'm like, how did he get it in the package? Did he, does he package these?

87
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He might have made it and given it to you.

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But it was in the package with the shirt that was sealed.

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The fuck?

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Was it like just like a little like stick him?

91
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No.

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No?

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No, it was a full-blown seal.

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Wow.

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So maybe he has a sealing machine.

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Maybe.

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That's an unusual thing to own for the average person.

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It seems like the kind of thing you would own.

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I have one.

100
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I knew it.

101
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

102
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Yeah.

103
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So you also do this then?

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So you would like seal clothing into plastic bags to keep them fresh?

105
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Well, I don't use it for that.

106
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I could.

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What do you use yours for?

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Other packaging items.

109
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Oh, okay.

110
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Are you going to incriminate yourself if you tell us what you use this for?

111
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No.

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Quick interruption.

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Every week on the podcast, we do something where our producer Joe gives Francis and I each our own secret word.

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Throughout the course of the podcast, we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing.

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If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point.

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And right before we die, we add up all the points.

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And then we get a prize, whoever has the most points, for guessing the most secret words.

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Here's Joe with today's secret words.

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Jenna's secret word is marathon.

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Jenna's decoy word is stalking.

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Francis's secret word is destitute.

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Francis's decoy word is anarchy.

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back to the pod.

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Moving on.

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Well, cool. Super cool.

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That's nice of him to have given you a little bracelet.

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Yeah, and you know what? Jenna has a nice bracelet on too.

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It was actually a gift from Joe, if I recall.

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It was. It was a Christmas gift from Joe,

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and I hadn't had a chance to wear it recently,

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and I was like, I want to look fancy.

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I'm going to wear my nice bracelet.

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Thank you, baby.

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Yes, good.

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You guys don't even need me anymore.

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Well, no, that's not true because you know what does not come preloaded into our roadcaster?

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The invention of the week.

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Inventions.

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Hey, Jenna.

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Hey.

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You know how it's getting hot again?

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I do know that.

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Do you know how that sucks?

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I do know that.

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You know how we give almost anything to be cool?

146
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I do know that.

147
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Well, then strap yourself down because you are going to love this.

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Okay, I'm strapped.

149
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She's in there.

150
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Oh, no, there's a fire.

151
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What do I do?

152
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Oh, no.

153
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What do I save?

154
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Whatever your cooling invention is will help me around the fire.

155
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You would think that would logically follow, but it doesn't.

156
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I was just being stupid.

157
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Okay.

158
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But check this out.

159
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Okay.

160
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It's really cool.

161
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Okay.

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I can't wait for it to be really cool.

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So I was thinking to myself, God, I hate being outside, but sometimes you have to be outside.

164
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And I went to the Renaissance Festival recently.

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I told you this and I was 105 plus degrees and I bought a neck fan.

166
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Yeah.

167
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And it didn't do shit.

168
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Yeah.

169
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And I was like, what the hell?

170
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Yeah.

171
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This is all internal.

172
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I know.

173
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While they were jousting, this isn't doing shit.

174
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What the hell?

175
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Please stop the joust.

176
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I need to make an announcement.

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Anyway, check this.

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My invention this week is, how do I explain this?

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You're on the sidewalk.

180
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Yeah.

181
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It's hot as balls.

182
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Luckily for you, there is my invention, which is something that goes,

183
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it's like you step into you know there's like tents that are like they're on like sticks and

184
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then there's like a tent yeah most of it's kind of exposed it's like that but the sticks are on

185
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wheels and it's not fully exposed there's like see-through plastic walls and it's an air

186
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conditioned traveling pergola that you move with you it's like a baby bumper for adults that covers

187
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you completely you can see out of it and lets you walk down the sidewalk completely encapsulated

188
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by wonderful air conditioning.

189
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Okay.

190
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,700
I'm, for some reason,

191
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,260
the first thing that pops into my head

192
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:07,160
is in the karate kid at the Christmas party

193
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,340
when he goes as like the bathtub with the curtain.

194
00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:13,320
I don't know if that is pulling an image up for me.

195
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:13,800
Oh.

196
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:14,620
Yeah, I'll check it out.

197
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:14,940
Okay.

198
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:15,420
Keep going.

199
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:16,280
Yeah.

200
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,160
But anyway, that's sort of, but okay.

201
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:26,780
My first thought is, wouldn't it be large?

202
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,260
Like, what if you had a whole bunch of people walking around the street?

203
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,280
Or did you just pull up the picture?

204
00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:34,320
Yeah, it's like that.

205
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:37,940
It's like that with a roof.

206
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:38,640
Yeah.

207
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:41,200
Wouldn't that take up a lot of space?

208
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:41,920
Some.

209
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:46,120
Keep in mind, there are fat people already taking up space, so it's nothing new.

210
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:47,240
Well.

211
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,540
It's just not a person, it's equipment.

212
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,180
I'm assuming it would be a little harder to maneuver her with your pergola.

213
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,080
You know what I think would happen?

214
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:55,880
Hmm.

215
00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:00,940
People would get out of the way and go around you.

216
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,380
Or they would have one and there would be a line.

217
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:08,280
Okay.

218
00:12:10,660 --> 00:12:12,460
I don't...

219
00:12:12,460 --> 00:12:13,280
Okay.

220
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:17,160
We'll put the question of how big is it to the side.

221
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:27,100
how how are how is it keeping you cool what is it is there like a mister inside you said it's

222
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:32,520
air conditioned yeah it's air conditioned i never said to mister and i wouldn't say mister because

223
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:38,400
some people get perms and they can't have that yeah also they're going to work you don't want

224
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:44,440
to show up wet well no i agree but i mean but now i'm thinking so what you have like a little motor

225
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:45,780
with its electricity?

226
00:12:45,780 --> 00:12:46,860
Yeah, it's solar-powered.

227
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:48,140
Okay.

228
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,140
To take advantage of that.

229
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,440
To take advantage of that.

230
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:57,700
How heavy is this motor, this air conditioner?

231
00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:58,860
Well, keep in mind it's on wheels,

232
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so the weight's really not an issue.

233
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,540
And inside it has two traveling sticks

234
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:04,200
that you can hold onto as you move.

235
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:06,020
Okay.

236
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:11,920
How portable is this thing?

237
00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:13,040
Super and highly portable.

238
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:13,520
How?

239
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:13,560
How?

240
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:14,420
The wheels.

241
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:20,860
no no no i mean not portable while you're using it like let's say you get out of your car

242
00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:26,800
you're going to the renaissance festival you have to unpack this from your car

243
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:32,020
oh i set it up i see i see i see yeah yeah like i'm thinking like like a stroller yeah

244
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:37,540
like a stroller yeah but let me explain the legs of which there are four

245
00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:40,300
fold.

246
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,400
They collapse like a blind stick.

247
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,280
Like a what?

248
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:45,460
You know, like a walking stick.

249
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,220
Oh, a blind stick.

250
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:59,112
Yeah So like but then when you pull them together there a lock so they don they can just collapse on you when you open it up So basically it folds in half So picture this

251
00:14:00,352 --> 00:14:05,612
And audience, my hands are together because I'm the device.

252
00:14:06,672 --> 00:14:09,952
It opens up because the motor's always right there, right?

253
00:14:10,272 --> 00:14:13,492
So it's collapsed to the width of the motor of the air conditioner.

254
00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:17,892
And then you open it, and it's slightly wider than you,

255
00:14:17,892 --> 00:14:20,432
and then you expand the sticks

256
00:14:20,432 --> 00:14:22,492
and then you set it on the ground

257
00:14:22,492 --> 00:14:24,032
and you can go where you want to go.

258
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:26,352
Okay.

259
00:14:27,232 --> 00:14:30,572
Could this be used for more than one person?

260
00:14:31,732 --> 00:14:33,792
We have different sizes,

261
00:14:34,012 --> 00:14:35,932
but to respect the sidewalks,

262
00:14:35,932 --> 00:14:37,652
you have to be single file,

263
00:14:37,772 --> 00:14:39,592
so you have to be behind the person walking.

264
00:14:40,812 --> 00:14:43,312
So you could just have a really long one?

265
00:14:43,832 --> 00:14:45,412
Yeah, like a caterpillar model?

266
00:14:45,412 --> 00:14:45,692
Yeah.

267
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:46,152
Yeah.

268
00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:52,872
Or like one of those Chinese dragons that they do at parades and like Chinese New Year and stuff.

269
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:53,972
Mm-hmm.

270
00:14:54,072 --> 00:14:54,792
You know what I'm talking about?

271
00:14:54,892 --> 00:14:55,792
Invariably, I do.

272
00:14:57,912 --> 00:14:58,432
Okay.

273
00:14:59,052 --> 00:15:01,972
So, any other questions?

274
00:15:05,632 --> 00:15:14,792
I just keep thinking that this is just too, there's no way this isn't obtrusive.

275
00:15:15,692 --> 00:15:24,452
it's not, it's, it's half the width of a sidewalk that,

276
00:15:24,452 --> 00:15:30,792
but I mean, you get people, you know, people on sidewalks, they got places to go.

277
00:15:32,312 --> 00:15:40,972
Um, and there's a lot of hustle and bustle. Uh, people, people don't really, okay, here's another

278
00:15:40,972 --> 00:15:45,492
thing let's say you got one coming at you the opposite direction and there's one you're behind

279
00:15:45,492 --> 00:15:50,152
one and you can't pass and like let's say the people inside are slow that would be really

280
00:15:50,152 --> 00:15:58,912
frustrating you'd be stuck behind them yeah on the back of the device there's a qr code you can scan

281
00:15:58,912 --> 00:16:04,192
and it gives you a discount if you buy one if you were delayed by the people in front of you

282
00:16:04,192 --> 00:16:10,292
well but why would you want one of those if you can see if in real time you're like this thing's

283
00:16:10,292 --> 00:16:14,252
annoying the shit out of me. Yeah, I know. I want a discount to buy one.

284
00:16:14,332 --> 00:16:18,072
Well, you're forgetting you're hot. So it's first it says, are you hot

285
00:16:18,072 --> 00:16:21,992
and angry? Click on the QR code.

286
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:27,592
But I

287
00:16:27,592 --> 00:16:34,312
I don't know. People, if people are hot and angry on the

288
00:16:34,312 --> 00:16:38,312
sidewalk, they're treating that situation like a sprint,

289
00:16:38,312 --> 00:16:39,052
not a marathon.

290
00:16:39,292 --> 00:16:42,612
They want to get wherever they're going as fast as possible.

291
00:16:42,612 --> 00:16:42,972
Right.

292
00:16:43,632 --> 00:16:50,932
So they're not going to stop to get QR codes and just hope that having one

293
00:16:50,932 --> 00:16:53,472
themselves will take away the annoyance right now.

294
00:16:53,552 --> 00:16:53,752
Okay.

295
00:16:54,032 --> 00:16:57,092
You remember those coupon dispensers that they used to have at stores when you

296
00:16:57,092 --> 00:16:58,832
walk by and it would stick out a coupon.

297
00:16:59,012 --> 00:16:59,212
Yeah.

298
00:16:59,732 --> 00:17:02,532
We can have one of those just attached to every device.

299
00:17:02,732 --> 00:17:02,952
Yeah.

300
00:17:03,832 --> 00:17:04,112
Yeah.

301
00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:06,972
And they could be say different things.

302
00:17:08,312 --> 00:17:09,232
Like what?

303
00:17:11,612 --> 00:17:12,952
Thanks for walking by.

304
00:17:13,412 --> 00:17:14,572
Appreciate your patience.

305
00:17:14,812 --> 00:17:18,172
Oh, so it's not even dispensing savings.

306
00:17:18,312 --> 00:17:18,692
No, it does.

307
00:17:18,852 --> 00:17:21,112
It says thank you, and then it says,

308
00:17:21,212 --> 00:17:23,212
here's a $5 coupon to Dairy Queen.

309
00:17:23,852 --> 00:17:24,352
Get a Blizzard.

310
00:17:24,932 --> 00:17:27,012
Oh, so we're giving away discounts.

311
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:29,852
It's a partnership because Dairy Queen also wants you to be cool.

312
00:17:30,332 --> 00:17:32,252
And the top flaps can say Dairy Queen.

313
00:17:34,672 --> 00:17:37,632
So what about Rocco's Modern Life?

314
00:17:38,312 --> 00:17:40,112
You know it, baby.

315
00:17:41,692 --> 00:17:43,212
Oh, Wallaby cool.

316
00:17:43,532 --> 00:17:44,252
We got to write that down.

317
00:17:44,632 --> 00:17:45,132
As a name?

318
00:17:45,372 --> 00:17:45,572
Yeah.

319
00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:49,612
Too cool to be hot.

320
00:17:49,732 --> 00:17:50,312
I like that too.

321
00:17:53,052 --> 00:17:53,932
Frigid bitch.

322
00:17:57,532 --> 00:17:58,872
What other names do we have?

323
00:17:59,632 --> 00:18:00,252
Let's hear it, Joe.

324
00:18:00,772 --> 00:18:01,572
Hot and happy.

325
00:18:02,632 --> 00:18:03,412
Hot and happy.

326
00:18:04,272 --> 00:18:04,772
H2.

327
00:18:06,092 --> 00:18:06,572
Oh.

328
00:18:08,312 --> 00:18:13,572
it's my own thing don't worry about it too cool to be what was that cool to be hot too cool to be

329
00:18:13,572 --> 00:18:19,552
hot well that will make people think well you're definitely not going to look hot in one of these

330
00:18:19,552 --> 00:18:26,132
things well you're not let's be real second how much privacy are you afforded in one of these

331
00:18:26,132 --> 00:18:32,152
the flaps come in different opaque levels okay are you worried about what people will be doing

332
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:35,672
inside of their little moving tents is

333
00:18:35,672 --> 00:18:40,572
motivated. Get your own. Take a coupon.

334
00:18:44,752 --> 00:18:47,532
I'm worried that you're going to get some real creepy adults.

335
00:18:48,132 --> 00:18:51,712
They're just wandering around. They could stay outside all day long because it's air conditioned.

336
00:18:51,712 --> 00:18:55,752
They're just like doing there. I think that's fine because

337
00:18:55,752 --> 00:18:59,612
really. Well, here's the thing. There's always going to be creepy

338
00:18:59,612 --> 00:19:01,632
adults. Yeah, but at least

339
00:19:01,632 --> 00:19:02,792
now they're in a

340
00:19:02,792 --> 00:19:04,612
secret private room.

341
00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:07,272
Who cares what they're doing?

342
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,052
A secret private mobile room.

343
00:19:10,252 --> 00:19:10,692
They can

344
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,272
just walk behind you.

345
00:19:14,072 --> 00:19:14,972
Oh, right this.

346
00:19:15,152 --> 00:19:17,472
Frigid Pharaoh. Remember how they

347
00:19:17,472 --> 00:19:18,892
used to carry the Pharaohs?

348
00:19:22,092 --> 00:19:22,732
Right?

349
00:19:23,152 --> 00:19:23,852
Mia Pharaoh.

350
00:19:25,292 --> 00:19:25,972
That's a Pharaoh.

351
00:19:25,972 --> 00:19:38,952
us okay yeah you would so here's here's the thing you're you don't have to worry about maybe

352
00:19:38,952 --> 00:19:43,252
you don't need to worry about having this in your own car these could be like those line bikes out

353
00:19:43,252 --> 00:19:50,072
and about and you could just take one and then leave it wherever you drop it off see a pergola

354
00:19:50,072 --> 00:19:59,692
take a pergola god i hope that's not your word let's see um again but one of the things about

355
00:19:59,692 --> 00:20:06,152
those scooters is that they're everywhere they're abandoned till they're used i've abandoned my

356
00:20:06,152 --> 00:20:14,372
scooter um no the no they just like get left on the side of the road and like

357
00:20:14,372 --> 00:20:21,112
like that not at regular drop off pickup points.

358
00:20:21,832 --> 00:20:23,872
Maybe my thing's better than that thing.

359
00:20:24,812 --> 00:20:29,052
Maybe my thing is bigger and more unwieldy when it's 110 outside.

360
00:20:29,472 --> 00:20:30,112
Trust me.

361
00:20:30,152 --> 00:20:32,732
You're going to want the solstice shade.

362
00:20:33,612 --> 00:20:35,132
Isn't this going to just,

363
00:20:36,132 --> 00:20:37,852
aren't they all going to,

364
00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:38,012
okay,

365
00:20:38,012 --> 00:20:39,272
well I think you need to own them.

366
00:20:39,352 --> 00:20:43,552
I don't think that they can be a kind of pick them up because otherwise,

367
00:20:43,552 --> 00:20:51,112
especially, you know, in hot, hotter climbs, like we like that climbs shit.

368
00:20:54,112 --> 00:20:59,192
Sugar crush. Oh no, no.

369
00:21:01,472 --> 00:21:08,812
Okay. So in hotter areas, um, it could,

370
00:21:08,812 --> 00:21:13,132
there's going to be a lot of people, let's say, that

371
00:21:13,132 --> 00:21:17,712
don't have houses or places with air conditioning to go.

372
00:21:17,952 --> 00:21:19,952
Are you referring to the destitute population of the homeless?

373
00:21:20,192 --> 00:21:21,352
Yes, I am.

374
00:21:23,092 --> 00:21:25,092
They're listeners. I wanted to be nice to them.

375
00:21:25,272 --> 00:21:26,412
This is free, isn't it?

376
00:21:26,972 --> 00:21:27,292
Yeah.

377
00:21:27,692 --> 00:21:29,572
And we do drive by downtown with a boombox.

378
00:21:29,572 --> 00:21:30,052
Yeah.

379
00:21:31,452 --> 00:21:35,272
The car with two speakers on top, just playing it.

380
00:21:35,572 --> 00:21:36,492
I have very fine friends.

381
00:21:36,492 --> 00:21:40,952
yeah i really hope that's not it

382
00:21:40,952 --> 00:21:49,152
okay i still think this is wildly unwieldy and it's just gonna it will look hilarious though

383
00:21:49,152 --> 00:21:54,752
just to see like a little moving box going down moving litter yeah yeah especially if it's to get

384
00:21:54,752 --> 00:22:02,452
like the family one the family pack it's like really long the caterpillar yeah or the worm

385
00:22:02,452 --> 00:22:12,472
yep side box instead of sidewalks oh we can spell it b-a-l-k yeah because people will be

386
00:22:12,472 --> 00:22:21,012
barking at you as you pass by in it well will people take these indoors like i know park it

387
00:22:21,012 --> 00:22:25,952
there'll be parking spaces for them i thank you for giving me a look like i'm insane yeah you

388
00:22:25,952 --> 00:22:31,592
dumbass instead of handicap spaces there will be litter spaces oh good so we're getting rid of

389
00:22:31,592 --> 00:22:32,472
Pantycap spaces.

390
00:22:32,792 --> 00:22:33,232
Good job.

391
00:22:33,672 --> 00:22:35,192
I did say instead of, didn't I?

392
00:22:35,252 --> 00:22:35,492
Yeah.

393
00:22:36,232 --> 00:22:38,572
People will bring like chains wherever they go

394
00:22:38,572 --> 00:22:40,532
so they can like lock it around something.

395
00:22:41,412 --> 00:22:42,312
Maybe you can have an ignition.

396
00:22:42,472 --> 00:22:42,992
You have to have a key.

397
00:22:44,992 --> 00:22:46,892
No, I'm imagining how funny it would be

398
00:22:46,892 --> 00:22:49,572
to have someone chasing after another person

399
00:22:49,572 --> 00:22:51,792
in their litter as they're running away with it.

400
00:22:53,932 --> 00:22:56,532
But you're sweating and you can't make it

401
00:22:56,532 --> 00:22:57,692
and you fall down.

402
00:22:57,932 --> 00:22:59,752
But yeah, and they're nice and cool.

403
00:23:00,172 --> 00:23:00,392
Yeah.

404
00:23:00,392 --> 00:23:02,512
advantage thief yeah

405
00:23:02,512 --> 00:23:06,212
yeah advantage thief

406
00:23:06,212 --> 00:23:07,552
hot thief

407
00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:11,532
you say write that down yeah

408
00:23:11,532 --> 00:23:13,692
okay I'm writing hot thief down

409
00:23:13,692 --> 00:23:14,172
thanks

410
00:23:14,172 --> 00:23:16,952
okay just to

411
00:23:16,952 --> 00:23:19,852
just to recap we got

412
00:23:19,852 --> 00:23:21,672
wallaby cool

413
00:23:21,672 --> 00:23:24,492
frigid bitch

414
00:23:24,492 --> 00:23:28,192
hot and happy

415
00:23:28,192 --> 00:23:29,832
too cool to be hot

416
00:23:29,832 --> 00:23:35,972
frigid pharaoh like that one side box

417
00:23:35,972 --> 00:23:41,892
hot thief i was i couldn't read my own handwriting for a second

418
00:23:41,892 --> 00:23:49,212
hot thief i love this i like frigid bitch yeah it's fun it's winky yeah okay

419
00:23:49,212 --> 00:24:00,752
I think, uh, uh, okay. Well, I, I'm sure this will be on sidewalks everywhere.

420
00:24:00,992 --> 00:24:06,212
Totally. Starting very soon. Yeah. It'll be ubiquitous. Probably.

421
00:24:09,472 --> 00:24:16,132
Probably, uh, soon as this episode airs. So go to very fine friends.com.

422
00:24:16,132 --> 00:24:18,892
get one

423
00:24:18,892 --> 00:24:21,152
yeah get one

424
00:24:21,152 --> 00:24:22,012
they're going to be there

425
00:24:22,012 --> 00:24:24,472
and you can get as many branded kinds as you want

426
00:24:24,472 --> 00:24:26,392
we accept American Express as well

427
00:24:26,392 --> 00:24:28,532
if you

428
00:24:28,532 --> 00:24:29,912
want

429
00:24:29,912 --> 00:24:31,872
we'll have discount

430
00:24:31,872 --> 00:24:34,052
you can either have a branded one which will cost a little more

431
00:24:34,052 --> 00:24:35,412
or if you want to have one that has

432
00:24:35,412 --> 00:24:38,752
advertising on it for something else

433
00:24:38,752 --> 00:24:40,792
or if you want to be a

434
00:24:40,792 --> 00:24:42,592
walking Dairy Queen

435
00:24:42,592 --> 00:24:43,872
discount giver

436
00:24:43,872 --> 00:24:45,272
you can do that too

437
00:24:45,272 --> 00:24:47,452
Or you can send in a, uh, upload a picture.

438
00:24:47,632 --> 00:24:52,852
And as long as you promise you own it legally, we can print it on the canvas for more money.

439
00:24:53,132 --> 00:24:53,572
Yeah.

440
00:24:54,272 --> 00:25:01,372
So go to very fine friends.com and order your frigid bitch today.

441
00:25:02,492 --> 00:25:06,952
That wraps up the invention of the week.

442
00:25:09,272 --> 00:25:09,792
Okay.

443
00:25:10,672 --> 00:25:14,872
So, uh, I feel like Francis,

444
00:25:14,872 --> 00:25:16,032
I just would like to point out,

445
00:25:17,192 --> 00:25:18,712
listeners won't know this,

446
00:25:18,932 --> 00:25:20,332
but we can tell in studio,

447
00:25:21,272 --> 00:25:23,092
you and I are real suspicious today

448
00:25:23,092 --> 00:25:24,932
with our words.

449
00:25:25,132 --> 00:25:26,892
I think it's because we're really close in points.

450
00:25:27,432 --> 00:25:27,692
Yeah.

451
00:25:28,272 --> 00:25:30,012
Listeners, anytime you hear

452
00:25:30,012 --> 00:25:31,932
a three-second silence

453
00:25:31,932 --> 00:25:33,432
and nothing funny has been said,

454
00:25:33,552 --> 00:25:35,532
that's because Jenna or Francis

455
00:25:35,532 --> 00:25:38,172
is looking at the other one with narrow eyes.

456
00:25:38,292 --> 00:25:39,652
Anytime Francis said something

457
00:25:39,652 --> 00:25:40,352
and then I just go,

458
00:25:40,712 --> 00:25:43,612
that's me writing down a word

459
00:25:43,612 --> 00:25:50,132
because I suspiciously, I am suspicious of him.

460
00:25:50,572 --> 00:25:51,372
As you should be.

461
00:25:51,472 --> 00:25:51,712
Yeah.

462
00:25:52,752 --> 00:25:54,552
I already have a whole bunch of words written down.

463
00:25:54,632 --> 00:25:54,852
I know you do.

464
00:25:55,292 --> 00:25:55,812
As do I.

465
00:25:55,812 --> 00:26:01,872
Last time, we were more than halfway through the episode

466
00:26:01,872 --> 00:26:06,372
and I forgot that I was supposed to even be thinking about it.

467
00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:08,672
Not today, Satan.

468
00:26:09,332 --> 00:26:11,252
All right.

469
00:26:11,252 --> 00:26:16,472
Well, on that note, it's time for our next segment.

470
00:26:17,732 --> 00:26:20,152
Interview with a man hired.

471
00:26:22,872 --> 00:26:28,532
From author Anne Rice, we give you interview with a man hired.

472
00:26:32,832 --> 00:26:34,132
Damn, I'm good.

473
00:26:34,932 --> 00:26:35,892
Cold for laughter.

474
00:26:35,892 --> 00:26:49,192
this segment francis and i will be interviewing for jobs and boy we hope we get them yeah

475
00:26:49,192 --> 00:27:01,012
come on in oh hi hi i'm sorry sorry well can i start over again can i start over again well

476
00:27:01,012 --> 00:27:03,912
you never get a second chance at a first impression or do I,

477
00:27:04,272 --> 00:27:04,592
Ooh,

478
00:27:04,752 --> 00:27:05,532
he's bold.

479
00:27:05,832 --> 00:27:06,272
Yes.

480
00:27:06,352 --> 00:27:06,672
Okay.

481
00:27:07,212 --> 00:27:07,912
I'll bite.

482
00:27:09,532 --> 00:27:09,972
Hi,

483
00:27:10,052 --> 00:27:10,592
how are you?

484
00:27:10,752 --> 00:27:11,152
Oh,

485
00:27:11,772 --> 00:27:12,292
hello.

486
00:27:12,772 --> 00:27:13,432
Shake it.

487
00:27:13,832 --> 00:27:14,192
Ooh.

488
00:27:14,352 --> 00:27:14,572
Oh,

489
00:27:14,692 --> 00:27:15,072
firm.

490
00:27:15,492 --> 00:27:15,832
Uh huh.

491
00:27:15,852 --> 00:27:16,492
Very firm.

492
00:27:16,632 --> 00:27:18,172
That's how I like my mattresses to have a seat.

493
00:27:18,412 --> 00:27:18,712
Hmm.

494
00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:20,412
Oh,

495
00:27:20,452 --> 00:27:21,372
I see you bought.

496
00:27:21,372 --> 00:27:22,592
I prefer to stand.

497
00:27:22,872 --> 00:27:23,272
Oh,

498
00:27:23,672 --> 00:27:24,012
Hmm.

499
00:27:25,292 --> 00:27:25,772
Okay.

500
00:27:26,192 --> 00:27:26,452
Yeah.

501
00:27:26,892 --> 00:27:28,392
Let me just get the chair out of here then.

502
00:27:28,712 --> 00:27:29,132
Thank you.

503
00:27:29,352 --> 00:27:29,512
Yeah.

504
00:27:30,512 --> 00:27:30,872
Um,

505
00:27:31,012 --> 00:27:32,632
I guess I'll stand too.

506
00:27:32,632 --> 00:27:33,932
Ha, I'm starting a trend.

507
00:27:33,932 --> 00:27:34,592
I love that.

508
00:27:34,592 --> 00:27:37,092
That's one thing you'll get to know about me as I'm a, I'm a leader.

509
00:27:37,092 --> 00:27:38,892
I'm a trendsetter.

510
00:27:38,892 --> 00:27:40,512
What's your name?

511
00:27:40,512 --> 00:27:49,985
Dick Rickman Dick Rick Oh we already have a Dick Rickman No you don Hold on one second Beep Kathy fire Dick Rickman one

512
00:27:54,405 --> 00:27:56,245
Dick Rickman's been fired.

513
00:27:57,024 --> 00:27:57,884
Thanks, Joel.

514
00:27:59,024 --> 00:27:59,284
Well.

515
00:27:59,565 --> 00:27:59,884
Yeah.

516
00:28:00,505 --> 00:28:05,884
I make sure to clear the way of all other Dick Rickmans when I interview for a job.

517
00:28:06,104 --> 00:28:06,624
Great.

518
00:28:06,905 --> 00:28:09,465
Well, I have your resume here, but there's nothing on it.

519
00:28:09,784 --> 00:28:10,545
That's right.

520
00:28:10,545 --> 00:28:17,604
Because as far as I'm concerned, nothing came before your company and there will be nothing after it.

521
00:28:18,245 --> 00:28:19,524
My history doesn't matter.

522
00:28:19,905 --> 00:28:24,524
The only thing that matters is the here, the now, with you, with your company.

523
00:28:25,805 --> 00:28:27,764
Wow, pretty strong feelings for an STD clinic.

524
00:28:28,685 --> 00:28:29,565
What can I say?

525
00:28:30,405 --> 00:28:32,425
I love what you do.

526
00:28:33,565 --> 00:28:34,325
Love it.

527
00:28:34,825 --> 00:28:35,705
Okay, all right.

528
00:28:35,764 --> 00:28:36,845
I love the enthusiasm.

529
00:28:36,845 --> 00:28:40,284
Makes me think I got a real guy here.

530
00:28:40,284 --> 00:28:41,085
You're a guy, right?

531
00:28:41,485 --> 00:28:45,124
Oh, does this answer your question?

532
00:28:45,985 --> 00:28:46,465
Just kidding.

533
00:28:46,784 --> 00:28:50,205
I'm not about to whip out big dick.

534
00:28:50,805 --> 00:28:52,065
That's what I call my penis.

535
00:28:52,685 --> 00:28:53,665
I'm little dick.

536
00:28:55,024 --> 00:28:55,645
It's okay.

537
00:28:55,725 --> 00:28:58,524
We know this is a safe space, but as long as whatever makes you comfortable.

538
00:28:58,745 --> 00:28:59,225
Thank you.

539
00:28:59,825 --> 00:29:03,505
We do have some practical exercises for all of our interviewees.

540
00:29:03,624 --> 00:29:04,945
I hope you don't mind participating.

541
00:29:05,205 --> 00:29:07,024
Not at all.

542
00:29:07,024 --> 00:29:17,685
Okay. Well, the first task is for you to deliver bad news to me and constructive criticism because we want to make sure people have, you know, the right communication skills.

543
00:29:17,845 --> 00:29:18,264
Okay.

544
00:29:19,465 --> 00:29:20,305
Whenever you're ready.

545
00:29:23,305 --> 00:29:29,624
Listen, Mr. Thompson, there's no easy way to say this.

546
00:29:30,024 --> 00:29:31,445
I've been sleeping with your wife.

547
00:29:31,445 --> 00:29:33,825
I want you to know

548
00:29:33,825 --> 00:29:36,104
We took full use of your clinic

549
00:29:36,104 --> 00:29:37,225
Ahead of time

550
00:29:37,225 --> 00:29:38,805
We're both clean

551
00:29:38,805 --> 00:29:40,264
She didn't pass you anything

552
00:29:40,264 --> 00:29:42,805
I would never do that to you

553
00:29:42,805 --> 00:29:44,185
Now

554
00:29:44,185 --> 00:29:46,205
She would like to still be married to you

555
00:29:46,205 --> 00:29:48,945
She just wants to keep sleeping with me on the side

556
00:29:48,945 --> 00:29:50,805
And I know

557
00:29:50,805 --> 00:29:51,585
Man to man

558
00:29:51,585 --> 00:29:53,225
I'm looking in your eyes

559
00:29:53,225 --> 00:29:54,364
And I can tell

560
00:29:54,364 --> 00:29:55,905
That you respect that

561
00:29:55,905 --> 00:29:57,825
You will respect her wishes

562
00:29:57,825 --> 00:29:59,784
And that you don't mind

563
00:29:59,784 --> 00:30:04,325
that she's nicknamed my penis Mr. Thompson.

564
00:30:05,384 --> 00:30:06,864
He doesn't like big dick.

565
00:30:06,985 --> 00:30:09,065
She likes Mr. Thompson as the name of my penis.

566
00:30:09,485 --> 00:30:12,205
So anyway, that's the news.

567
00:30:13,305 --> 00:30:14,145
That's interesting.

568
00:30:14,344 --> 00:30:16,685
Normally people keep it work-related.

569
00:30:16,844 --> 00:30:17,565
That was fresh.

570
00:30:17,665 --> 00:30:18,225
That was new.

571
00:30:18,384 --> 00:30:19,524
Hmm, that's right.

572
00:30:19,784 --> 00:30:20,725
It was about my wife.

573
00:30:20,725 --> 00:30:24,045
And I'll leave it to you to figure out whether or not

574
00:30:24,045 --> 00:30:25,864
that was real bad news I was delivering

575
00:30:25,864 --> 00:30:27,985
or just something for this hypothetical.

576
00:30:27,985 --> 00:30:30,124
goal. Thank you, Mr.

577
00:30:31,364 --> 00:30:31,805
Altman,

578
00:30:32,104 --> 00:30:33,864
Ackman, Dick Rickman.

579
00:30:34,104 --> 00:30:35,425
Rickman. Yes.

580
00:30:36,604 --> 00:30:37,185
By the way,

581
00:30:38,225 --> 00:30:38,705
tell Gina

582
00:30:38,705 --> 00:30:41,665
the enchiladas she made last night were great.

583
00:30:42,505 --> 00:30:43,344
Wow. Full commitment.

584
00:30:43,884 --> 00:30:45,705
Her name is Gina. Yeah. Oh, I know.

585
00:30:46,425 --> 00:30:46,825
Beep.

586
00:30:47,384 --> 00:30:49,624
Call my wife and tell her that she

587
00:30:49,624 --> 00:30:51,065
needs to be somewhere else when I get home.

588
00:30:51,844 --> 00:30:52,325
Thanks.

589
00:30:54,545 --> 00:30:55,565
She's already played

590
00:30:55,565 --> 00:30:57,445
and I'm being somewhere else. Mr.

591
00:30:57,445 --> 00:31:03,085
Thompson. Thank you. Uh, let's see. Do I have any other questions for you?

592
00:31:03,624 --> 00:31:11,425
Hmm. When can I start? Uh, do you have any, um, any, any issues that might make hiring you a

593
00:31:11,425 --> 00:31:17,225
problem? I'm asking about weaknesses, quirks, diseases. I can't, I can't ask about diseases,

594
00:31:17,225 --> 00:31:25,384
but you can offer. Well, as my papa old Dick Rickman senior used to say,

595
00:31:25,384 --> 00:31:33,085
only one weakness that a man can have and that's not given the world his strength

596
00:31:33,085 --> 00:31:40,624
i do not have that weakness so i have no weaknesses oh let me write that down also herpes

597
00:31:40,624 --> 00:31:46,965
no weaknesses or herpes no i do have herpes oh gonna scratch that one out i found out at your

598
00:31:46,965 --> 00:31:47,344
clinic.

599
00:31:49,065 --> 00:31:50,545
When did you find this out?

600
00:31:51,985 --> 00:31:53,185
On my way in.

601
00:31:54,685 --> 00:31:56,884
Got handed these results on my way in.

602
00:31:57,624 --> 00:31:57,864
Oh.

603
00:31:59,745 --> 00:32:00,225
Beep.

604
00:32:00,624 --> 00:32:02,065
Remember to get tested for herpes?

605
00:32:02,805 --> 00:32:03,344
Thanks, Joel.

606
00:32:05,465 --> 00:32:09,524
The giant sore on your face tells me you have it, Mr. Thompson.

607
00:32:10,405 --> 00:32:11,505
Women are funny.

608
00:32:13,205 --> 00:32:16,784
So, well, I'm frazzled.

609
00:32:16,965 --> 00:32:18,844
You frazzled and bedazzled me.

610
00:32:19,745 --> 00:32:20,405
I'll tell you what.

611
00:32:20,425 --> 00:32:21,145
We'll give you a call.

612
00:32:22,305 --> 00:32:23,565
To tell me when I start?

613
00:32:24,284 --> 00:32:25,624
To tell you if you start.

614
00:32:26,005 --> 00:32:27,545
I don't know how it works at the last place.

615
00:32:27,665 --> 00:32:29,205
You didn't work according to your resume,

616
00:32:29,305 --> 00:32:31,844
but we have a lot of primo candidates.

617
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:33,264
Oh, really?

618
00:32:33,524 --> 00:32:33,764
Yeah.

619
00:32:34,005 --> 00:32:36,905
Unless you can do something right now to blow my socks off.

620
00:32:36,905 --> 00:32:38,264
I don't know.

621
00:32:40,364 --> 00:32:46,245
Can you cure herpes?

622
00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:49,825
Well, you tell me.

623
00:32:51,264 --> 00:32:54,485
Do you consider laughter medicine?

624
00:32:55,485 --> 00:32:58,524
Goochie, goochie, goochie, goochie, goochie, goochie.

625
00:32:58,665 --> 00:32:59,844
Oh, my God, it fell off.

626
00:33:00,305 --> 00:33:00,925
You're hired.

627
00:33:01,985 --> 00:33:02,784
Welcome, little dick.

628
00:33:04,005 --> 00:33:05,505
Well, thank you very much, Mr. Thompson.

629
00:33:11,884 --> 00:33:13,364
Hi, come on in.

630
00:33:14,045 --> 00:33:14,585
Oh, hi.

631
00:33:14,805 --> 00:33:15,045
Thanks.

632
00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:15,425
Hey.

633
00:33:15,425 --> 00:33:15,945
Thank you.

634
00:33:15,945 --> 00:33:25,565
hi hi hi can it is it okay to make eye contact oh yeah yeah no no don't be don't be nervous

635
00:33:25,565 --> 00:33:32,745
don't be nervous oh why hi i don't bite why would you say that though scary no because i don't you

636
00:33:32,745 --> 00:33:37,425
don't bite do yeah things that bite don't usually announce that they bite my last boss bit me

637
00:33:37,425 --> 00:33:43,384
did he tell you he bit what bites before he bit you no he just bit me it was during an annual

638
00:33:43,384 --> 00:33:48,145
performance review. Oh, currently I have a lawsuit going on. It's called Liz pendens.

639
00:33:48,264 --> 00:33:54,705
That means lawsuit bending. Oh, I learned that from my lawyer. Okay. Um, so you're litigious.

640
00:33:55,225 --> 00:34:02,705
I prefer the term Sue happy. Sue happy. Okay. I guess that's a fun spin on it. Yeah. I don't

641
00:34:02,705 --> 00:34:08,405
want to be taken advantage of. So I hope that's not what you're trying to do. Oh no. Um, this was,

642
00:34:08,405 --> 00:34:09,825
this is a voluntary interview.

643
00:34:10,425 --> 00:34:11,325
You applied.

644
00:34:12,165 --> 00:34:14,305
I did not seek you out.

645
00:34:14,445 --> 00:34:16,445
Oh, got a little high pitch on that last one.

646
00:34:16,465 --> 00:34:17,245
You scared me a little bit.

647
00:34:17,584 --> 00:34:18,325
Are you getting mad?

648
00:34:18,885 --> 00:34:19,064
No.

649
00:34:19,725 --> 00:34:20,425
You want to bite me?

650
00:34:21,644 --> 00:34:22,685
Do you, I'm sorry, do you,

651
00:34:22,685 --> 00:34:24,845
do you or do you not want to be bitten?

652
00:34:25,644 --> 00:34:26,365
I don't.

653
00:34:27,845 --> 00:34:28,265
No.

654
00:34:29,005 --> 00:34:29,445
Good.

655
00:34:30,104 --> 00:34:30,705
All right, good.

656
00:34:30,825 --> 00:34:32,104
Well, there will be no biting.

657
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:32,644
Okay.

658
00:34:33,005 --> 00:34:33,965
Here's my CV.

659
00:34:34,845 --> 00:34:35,805
Oh, yeah.

660
00:34:36,044 --> 00:34:37,425
Curriculum vitae.

661
00:34:37,604 --> 00:34:38,265
Very good.

662
00:34:38,405 --> 00:34:48,124
Oh, you have a whole section here for previous arrests.

663
00:34:48,785 --> 00:34:49,985
Yes, I do.

664
00:34:50,185 --> 00:34:54,965
That was not something we were asking for.

665
00:34:55,365 --> 00:34:57,685
Well, I figured it was going to come up on the background.

666
00:34:58,345 --> 00:35:04,345
We don't generally do too rigorous of a background check here at PetSmart.

667
00:35:08,405 --> 00:35:09,584
Oh, ooh.

668
00:35:11,124 --> 00:35:11,485
Why?

669
00:35:11,825 --> 00:35:15,845
You have multiple arrests for stalking?

670
00:35:16,745 --> 00:35:17,965
And perversion.

671
00:35:18,644 --> 00:35:20,104
Oh, oh, that's right.

672
00:35:20,225 --> 00:35:22,985
Sorry, I didn't make it past stalking.

673
00:35:23,225 --> 00:35:23,905
Perversion.

674
00:35:24,805 --> 00:35:25,064
Ooh.

675
00:35:25,544 --> 00:35:25,765
Yeah.

676
00:35:26,144 --> 00:35:30,985
Regular stalking, just so you know, is super common.

677
00:35:30,985 --> 00:35:34,624
But stalking and perversion is very rare.

678
00:35:35,604 --> 00:35:37,725
Is that like breaking and entering?

679
00:35:37,725 --> 00:35:42,485
like they go they go together they don't they don't know yeah basically like here's an example

680
00:35:42,485 --> 00:35:46,765
you might follow someone that you're interested in home and if they turn around and see you you

681
00:35:46,765 --> 00:35:52,705
stick your time and go that's one way to be it wait is that the perversion part yeah you got to

682
00:35:52,705 --> 00:35:59,425
add a little something oh like a little grab and honk are you familiar with that term no is that is

683
00:35:59,425 --> 00:36:04,365
that is that a fun little term like sue happy yeah it's grabbing honk yeah yeah yeah it's pretty

684
00:36:04,365 --> 00:36:10,245
self-explanatory. Yeah. Yeah. So just so you know, I invent things because that crime wasn't on the

685
00:36:10,245 --> 00:36:16,084
books until I invented it. Ooh, trendsetter. Yeah. Write that down and put it in subscript and big

686
00:36:16,084 --> 00:36:21,345
script. See those words are font terms. So as you know, I know Microsoft office suite. Oh, good,

687
00:36:21,425 --> 00:36:28,185
good, good, good, good, good. Well, I have access to personal health information of sexy coworkers.

688
00:36:28,785 --> 00:36:33,644
Wait, Oh, of coworker. We have access to your own. And I suppose, I mean, I can't stop someone.

689
00:36:33,644 --> 00:36:38,265
if you ask them, I would prefer maybe you not ask them.

690
00:36:38,265 --> 00:36:42,245
If you know someone well enough that you could ask them in a friendly way,

691
00:36:43,044 --> 00:36:44,185
yeah, you could do that.

692
00:36:44,685 --> 00:36:47,544
Okay, I like to hear that because the last place I worked was like total anarchy.

693
00:36:48,785 --> 00:36:52,965
Total anarchy, like everyone was asking everybody all the time?

694
00:36:53,104 --> 00:36:54,144
Yeah, no one knew what to say.

695
00:36:54,965 --> 00:36:57,024
Whoa, so what did you say?

696
00:36:57,205 --> 00:37:01,705
I stood up and I said, as head pervert, follow me.

697
00:37:01,705 --> 00:37:03,825
Oh, how many people followed you?

698
00:37:03,945 --> 00:37:04,705
No, nobody

699
00:37:04,705 --> 00:37:06,325
Oh, so

700
00:37:06,325 --> 00:37:07,225
I actually got

701
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:08,524
I got fired for

702
00:37:08,524 --> 00:37:09,805
For declaring

703
00:37:09,805 --> 00:37:11,465
Self-pervertedness

704
00:37:11,465 --> 00:37:13,124
That's when I came up with the crime

705
00:37:13,124 --> 00:37:13,365
Yeah

706
00:37:13,365 --> 00:37:14,225
They didn't know

707
00:37:14,225 --> 00:37:14,865
They didn't know

708
00:37:14,865 --> 00:37:15,524
I was trying to

709
00:37:15,524 --> 00:37:15,705
Oh

710
00:37:15,705 --> 00:37:18,245
So you arrested yourself for this crime

711
00:37:18,245 --> 00:37:20,024
Stalking and perversion

712
00:37:20,024 --> 00:37:20,505
I turned myself

713
00:37:20,505 --> 00:37:21,604
First I stalked

714
00:37:21,604 --> 00:37:22,365
I perverted

715
00:37:22,365 --> 00:37:24,064
And then I called the police

716
00:37:24,064 --> 00:37:24,925
And I said, whoops

717
00:37:24,925 --> 00:37:27,084
Oh, you perverted first

718
00:37:27,084 --> 00:37:27,665
Yes

719
00:37:27,665 --> 00:37:29,305
Oh, that's interesting

720
00:37:29,305 --> 00:37:29,785
And then

721
00:37:29,785 --> 00:37:31,985
You subtly follow people afterwards?

722
00:37:33,785 --> 00:37:34,544
Yes.

723
00:37:35,165 --> 00:37:35,405
Oh.

724
00:37:36,144 --> 00:37:38,845
So you're openly very perverted to them,

725
00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:40,985
and then you follow them.

726
00:37:41,624 --> 00:37:45,544
Isn't stalking more effective if you just,

727
00:37:46,265 --> 00:37:48,505
they don't know who you are, or they don't know?

728
00:37:48,505 --> 00:37:49,765
When you make someone uncomfortable,

729
00:37:50,345 --> 00:37:52,425
it makes following them more fun.

730
00:37:52,985 --> 00:37:54,365
Yeah, because now they're en garde.

731
00:37:54,965 --> 00:37:55,705
That's a French term?

732
00:37:57,005 --> 00:37:57,205
Oh.

733
00:37:58,185 --> 00:37:59,465
Oh, now they're en garde.

734
00:37:59,465 --> 00:38:01,604
Like they're fencing

735
00:38:01,604 --> 00:38:03,825
Yes, you should write down multilingual

736
00:38:03,825 --> 00:38:05,024
Okay

737
00:38:05,024 --> 00:38:06,285
I also know the word for cheese

738
00:38:06,285 --> 00:38:08,345
Oh, what's that?

739
00:38:09,144 --> 00:38:09,624
Quesarito

740
00:38:09,624 --> 00:38:11,745
In French?

741
00:38:12,365 --> 00:38:14,985
Yes, it's the southern France term for cheese

742
00:38:14,985 --> 00:38:16,865
Beautiful language

743
00:38:16,865 --> 00:38:18,265
It's, yeah, gorgeon

744
00:38:18,265 --> 00:38:20,024
It's French for gorgeous

745
00:38:20,024 --> 00:38:23,505
Oh, multilingual

746
00:38:23,505 --> 00:38:26,745
Great, I'm learning so much about stalking

747
00:38:26,745 --> 00:38:29,425
And perversion, mostly perversion

748
00:38:29,425 --> 00:38:31,245
Tell me more about that

749
00:38:31,245 --> 00:38:34,285
Well, it started when I was 15

750
00:38:34,285 --> 00:38:39,705
And I went to Goodwill and there was a donation box

751
00:38:39,705 --> 00:38:42,665
That they hadn't checked in yet and it was full of underwear

752
00:38:42,665 --> 00:38:45,945
So you're a charitable fellow, Goodwill

753
00:38:45,945 --> 00:38:48,905
Oh yes, I think you said terrible

754
00:38:48,905 --> 00:38:49,665
No charitable

755
00:38:49,665 --> 00:38:51,445
No judgment during the interview please

756
00:38:51,445 --> 00:38:52,705
No, no, no, I wouldn't dare

757
00:38:52,705 --> 00:38:57,285
Yeah, so I, well no, I was going to steal actually

758
00:38:57,285 --> 00:39:01,425
because I felt like it.

759
00:39:02,624 --> 00:39:03,945
Sometimes you feel like stealing.

760
00:39:04,305 --> 00:39:05,325
Sometimes you do.

761
00:39:05,665 --> 00:39:07,885
And honestly, Goodwill, everything there is so cheap.

762
00:39:08,544 --> 00:39:09,865
It's like you're not really stealing anything.

763
00:39:10,044 --> 00:39:11,144
Yeah, plus they got it for free.

764
00:39:11,245 --> 00:39:12,365
You're going to file a complaint.

765
00:39:12,604 --> 00:39:13,345
You got it for free.

766
00:39:14,124 --> 00:39:14,365
Yeah.

767
00:39:14,665 --> 00:39:15,925
Anyway, I saw the box of underwear,

768
00:39:16,185 --> 00:39:18,544
and I happened to see the person who dropped it off.

769
00:39:18,805 --> 00:39:19,705
Total smoke show.

770
00:39:19,705 --> 00:39:20,024
Oh.

771
00:39:21,064 --> 00:39:23,445
So, and then there was a name on the box and an address.

772
00:39:23,445 --> 00:39:30,185
So I was like, my first stocking perverse was super easy because I just went to that place.

773
00:39:30,705 --> 00:39:31,104
Yeah.

774
00:39:31,245 --> 00:39:36,925
And I kept putting pairs of underwear in the nail blocks every day.

775
00:39:37,104 --> 00:39:38,225
And then they caught me.

776
00:39:38,305 --> 00:39:39,825
And I got to tell you, what a rush.

777
00:39:40,285 --> 00:39:41,425
Oh, you like what?

778
00:39:41,524 --> 00:39:42,185
Oh, yes.

779
00:39:42,225 --> 00:39:43,465
They were like, what the hell?

780
00:39:43,885 --> 00:39:46,805
This is why you have it so many times on your on your resume.

781
00:39:47,005 --> 00:39:47,365
Yes.

782
00:39:47,564 --> 00:39:48,445
Because you were caught so many.

783
00:39:48,604 --> 00:39:50,124
I was caught and I loved it.

784
00:39:50,285 --> 00:39:51,485
It's a real lip biter.

785
00:39:51,485 --> 00:39:56,865
You know when you like, something feels so good, you just got to bite your bottom lip and look up?

786
00:39:57,624 --> 00:39:58,104
Yeah.

787
00:39:58,805 --> 00:39:59,965
Daily, daily.

788
00:40:00,205 --> 00:40:00,505
Wow.

789
00:40:00,905 --> 00:40:01,124
Yeah.

790
00:40:01,564 --> 00:40:02,044
Anyway.

791
00:40:02,825 --> 00:40:04,665
Follows his dreams.

792
00:40:04,945 --> 00:40:05,064
Yeah.

793
00:40:05,064 --> 00:40:06,104
Sorry, writing that down?

794
00:40:06,265 --> 00:40:06,644
Good, good.

795
00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:07,084
Yeah.

796
00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:10,885
I can do anything.

797
00:40:11,524 --> 00:40:12,745
I can be anyone.

798
00:40:14,005 --> 00:40:16,365
Like, okay, how would you stalk me?

799
00:40:18,564 --> 00:40:20,124
How would you pervert me?

800
00:40:20,124 --> 00:40:21,445
Oh, well, okay.

801
00:40:21,485 --> 00:40:23,165
I don't normally work for free.

802
00:40:23,365 --> 00:40:23,524
No.

803
00:40:23,624 --> 00:40:23,825
Well,

804
00:40:23,885 --> 00:40:24,084
Hey,

805
00:40:24,144 --> 00:40:24,584
this is,

806
00:40:24,785 --> 00:40:26,084
don't think of this as working for free.

807
00:40:26,365 --> 00:40:28,624
Think of this as an investment in your future.

808
00:40:29,064 --> 00:40:30,144
Think about like this.

809
00:40:30,205 --> 00:40:30,325
You,

810
00:40:30,445 --> 00:40:32,345
you demonstrate this here now,

811
00:40:32,345 --> 00:40:36,524
and then that'll go a long way towards getting you the job.

812
00:40:36,985 --> 00:40:37,365
Okay.

813
00:40:37,564 --> 00:40:38,745
I'm finding this very interesting.

814
00:40:38,885 --> 00:40:42,124
I feel like there could be a lot of practical applications for this.

815
00:40:42,544 --> 00:40:43,285
Spitballing here,

816
00:40:43,425 --> 00:40:44,644
just throwing things around.

817
00:40:44,905 --> 00:40:45,305
Um,

818
00:40:45,305 --> 00:40:45,705
just,

819
00:40:45,845 --> 00:40:46,165
uh,

820
00:40:46,165 --> 00:40:50,505
maybe I would wait until you got a boyfriend who,

821
00:40:50,505 --> 00:40:52,144
You're going to be waiting a while.

822
00:40:54,385 --> 00:40:55,245
I know a guy.

823
00:40:55,624 --> 00:40:56,505
Oh, great.

824
00:40:56,644 --> 00:40:56,785
Yeah.

825
00:40:56,905 --> 00:40:58,084
Well, we could talk after this.

826
00:40:58,185 --> 00:40:58,385
Okay.

827
00:40:59,885 --> 00:41:03,265
Anyway, I'd wait until you had someone, but they weren't that into you.

828
00:41:03,925 --> 00:41:05,985
Well, that'll be a shorter wait.

829
00:41:07,345 --> 00:41:07,745
Sorry.

830
00:41:08,084 --> 00:41:09,345
Self-deprecating humor.

831
00:41:09,564 --> 00:41:10,405
No, it's hot.

832
00:41:10,865 --> 00:41:11,185
Yeah.

833
00:41:11,564 --> 00:41:12,885
Totally stalkable, by the way.

834
00:41:13,064 --> 00:41:14,124
By the way, I mean that.

835
00:41:14,604 --> 00:41:14,885
Thank you.

836
00:41:14,885 --> 00:41:15,885
That's just because you're a potential boss.

837
00:41:16,084 --> 00:41:16,524
God, thank you.

838
00:41:16,644 --> 00:41:17,024
You know what?

839
00:41:17,024 --> 00:41:19,044
I didn't know it, but I needed to hear that today.

840
00:41:19,185 --> 00:41:19,965
I could kill you even.

841
00:41:19,965 --> 00:41:22,205
Oh yeah, I've never done that.

842
00:41:22,205 --> 00:41:24,044
You're not just saying that look at me.

843
00:41:24,044 --> 00:41:26,345
Oh, do I look like someone who would lie about killing?

844
00:41:26,345 --> 00:41:27,544
No, you don't.

845
00:41:27,544 --> 00:41:28,544
Yeah.

846
00:41:28,544 --> 00:41:29,544
Lock your doors.

847
00:41:29,544 --> 00:41:31,544
So I'm saying, okay, done.

848
00:41:31,544 --> 00:41:32,544
All right, keep going.

849
00:41:32,544 --> 00:41:48,897
Well if I was just doing a simple stocking perv on you I think I wait to get the boyfriend They weren that interested Then I would start like leaving weird notes and following you around in like grocery stores Like you would see me and like you be like oh my God is that

850
00:41:49,137 --> 00:41:49,957
is that the guy?

851
00:41:50,397 --> 00:41:50,597
Right.

852
00:41:50,637 --> 00:41:51,557
But you wouldn't know for sure.

853
00:41:51,857 --> 00:41:54,717
And that would keep happening, you know, like shave your cat.

854
00:41:56,097 --> 00:41:58,197
And then the whole idea is you tell your boyfriend

855
00:41:58,197 --> 00:42:00,057
because you want him to do something about it.

856
00:42:00,077 --> 00:42:01,557
But he's not that into you.

857
00:42:01,997 --> 00:42:04,117
So he's not really, and then you're becoming a problem.

858
00:42:04,117 --> 00:42:06,797
Now I'm suddenly not worth the headache

859
00:42:06,797 --> 00:42:08,877
Exactly, he just wants a good time, a good quick fun time

860
00:42:08,877 --> 00:42:09,237
Yeah

861
00:42:09,237 --> 00:42:09,977
He leaves you

862
00:42:09,977 --> 00:42:10,877
I'm none of those things

863
00:42:10,877 --> 00:42:12,117
He leaves, now I can amp it up

864
00:42:12,117 --> 00:42:13,757
And we can include elements of fear

865
00:42:13,757 --> 00:42:15,377
Now there's no one to help

866
00:42:15,377 --> 00:42:17,437
So you have isolated you, do you understand?

867
00:42:17,957 --> 00:42:21,797
So now, Dr. Knickerbocker is shaved

868
00:42:21,797 --> 00:42:23,657
That's my cat

869
00:42:23,657 --> 00:42:24,037
Yes

870
00:42:24,037 --> 00:42:25,357
And I'm alone

871
00:42:25,357 --> 00:42:27,717
Yeah, shaved cat and all alone

872
00:42:27,717 --> 00:42:31,357
And then what happens is I break one of your windows

873
00:42:31,357 --> 00:42:34,157
But a week before I'd left a business card

874
00:42:34,157 --> 00:42:35,517
For glass, a glazer

875
00:42:35,517 --> 00:42:37,037
Oh

876
00:42:37,037 --> 00:42:39,997
Yeah, but it's me

877
00:42:39,997 --> 00:42:41,837
So you know that

878
00:42:41,837 --> 00:42:43,257
When I show up

879
00:42:43,257 --> 00:42:45,877
I open my trench coat to you

880
00:42:45,877 --> 00:42:46,677
There's the perv

881
00:42:46,677 --> 00:42:47,257
Oh

882
00:42:47,257 --> 00:42:50,017
Wait, I'm trying to picture

883
00:42:50,017 --> 00:42:53,257
Oh, wait, I didn't ask for this

884
00:42:53,257 --> 00:42:54,097
Oh

885
00:42:54,097 --> 00:42:55,137
Oh

886
00:42:55,137 --> 00:42:58,357
So that's how I do it

887
00:42:58,357 --> 00:42:59,717
Quick, I'm going to call the cops

888
00:42:59,717 --> 00:43:02,257
Well, that would be really effective

889
00:43:02,257 --> 00:43:03,057
Yeah

890
00:43:03,057 --> 00:43:06,697
Thank you, wow, I'm learning so much

891
00:43:06,697 --> 00:43:08,597
I'm teaching so much

892
00:43:08,597 --> 00:43:09,197
Yeah

893
00:43:09,197 --> 00:43:11,717
And you let me know if you want to go further

894
00:43:11,717 --> 00:43:12,817
Because I always have a knife

895
00:43:12,817 --> 00:43:15,297
Okay, well

896
00:43:15,297 --> 00:43:17,037
I

897
00:43:17,037 --> 00:43:19,797
Be nice to

898
00:43:19,797 --> 00:43:21,737
Dr. Knickerbocker when you meet him

899
00:43:21,737 --> 00:43:26,077
Well, it sounds like you

900
00:43:26,077 --> 00:43:27,697
Would make

901
00:43:27,697 --> 00:43:29,577
An excellent parakeet wrangler

902
00:43:29,577 --> 00:43:30,837
here at PetSmart.

903
00:43:30,937 --> 00:43:31,917
Oh my God.

904
00:43:32,217 --> 00:43:33,517
You got the job.

905
00:43:33,577 --> 00:43:34,437
I got the bird.

906
00:43:38,357 --> 00:43:39,297
Congratulations, Francis.

907
00:43:39,397 --> 00:43:40,357
I think we both got hired.

908
00:43:41,357 --> 00:43:42,017
Yeah, people are saying

909
00:43:42,017 --> 00:43:43,617
it's a hard economy for jobs.

910
00:43:43,717 --> 00:43:44,097
I don't see it.

911
00:43:44,097 --> 00:43:44,997
I don't see it.

912
00:43:44,997 --> 00:43:45,517
I don't see it at all.

913
00:43:45,537 --> 00:43:46,497
This feels like

914
00:43:46,497 --> 00:43:47,857
if you're not finding a job,

915
00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:48,437
it's your fault.

916
00:43:48,517 --> 00:43:49,137
Be honest.

917
00:43:49,777 --> 00:43:50,757
Be confident.

918
00:43:51,077 --> 00:43:51,517
Be bold.

919
00:43:51,897 --> 00:43:52,137
Yep.

920
00:43:52,837 --> 00:43:53,377
Have herpes.

921
00:43:53,777 --> 00:43:54,017
Yep.

922
00:43:55,177 --> 00:43:56,617
I think most of America

923
00:43:56,617 --> 00:43:57,517
has accomplished that.

924
00:43:58,257 --> 00:43:58,697
So.

925
00:43:59,577 --> 00:44:03,277
yeah yeah so what is it three out of four

926
00:44:03,277 --> 00:44:06,277
something like that

927
00:44:06,277 --> 00:44:14,397
uh well and uh just be i'm not laughing at your pain america yeah no america we're we're here with

928
00:44:14,397 --> 00:44:18,577
you yeah by the way they're gonna cure it eventually yeah totally or it'll get to four

929
00:44:18,577 --> 00:44:24,917
out of four and then it won't matter right that's true that's a good point if everyone has herpes

930
00:44:24,917 --> 00:44:29,097
it's like nobody has herpes yeah it's like if everyone has a million dollars it's like no one

931
00:44:29,097 --> 00:44:37,777
does. Yep, exactly. Um, so yeah, those are our tips for you. Also be open with your, your previous

932
00:44:37,777 --> 00:44:44,017
arrests. If they don't ask for them, they will appreciate your honesty upfront. That's right.

933
00:44:44,117 --> 00:44:50,577
They will appreciate being saved money on a background checker. Just tell them everything.

934
00:44:50,757 --> 00:44:55,857
Yeah. And if they know you're willing to kill them, they'll never mess with you. Yep. You know,

935
00:44:55,857 --> 00:44:58,077
They'll fire the person who won't kill.

936
00:44:58,257 --> 00:45:03,957
Never underestimate the power of a potential murder.

937
00:45:05,437 --> 00:45:07,077
We should write an employment handbook.

938
00:45:07,257 --> 00:45:08,557
I think we just did.

939
00:45:10,177 --> 00:45:10,657
Yeah.

940
00:45:11,137 --> 00:45:12,877
But pay us for this, listeners.

941
00:45:13,217 --> 00:45:13,417
Yeah.

942
00:45:13,417 --> 00:45:18,757
If you use this to get a job, we get 5% of your future.

943
00:45:18,757 --> 00:45:20,177
Yeah, and the pennies are gone, so round up.

944
00:45:20,677 --> 00:45:20,917
Yeah.

945
00:45:21,797 --> 00:45:23,257
Although I will still take pennies.

946
00:45:23,977 --> 00:45:24,677
I still accept them.

947
00:45:24,677 --> 00:45:25,077
Sure, why not?

948
00:45:25,177 --> 00:45:25,257
Yeah.

949
00:45:25,537 --> 00:45:25,737
Yeah.

950
00:45:25,857 --> 00:45:26,637
Minimum five.

951
00:45:28,077 --> 00:45:28,577
All right.

952
00:45:28,657 --> 00:45:29,717
Well, that wraps up.

953
00:45:30,757 --> 00:45:33,137
Interview with a man hired.

954
00:45:36,417 --> 00:45:40,017
He is now more employee than human.

955
00:45:42,897 --> 00:45:43,977
All right.

956
00:45:44,897 --> 00:45:48,177
We have one final segment on this show,

957
00:45:48,177 --> 00:45:52,037
and that is the big question.

958
00:45:53,037 --> 00:45:55,737
The question is very big.

959
00:45:55,857 --> 00:46:00,637
Friends, we have a listener submitted big question.

960
00:46:01,277 --> 00:46:01,917
HFS.

961
00:46:04,917 --> 00:46:07,217
Horny Francis says, what?

962
00:46:07,457 --> 00:46:08,177
Yeah, go on.

963
00:46:08,377 --> 00:46:10,057
Wait, what does HFS stand for?

964
00:46:10,597 --> 00:46:11,297
Holy fucking shit.

965
00:46:11,537 --> 00:46:12,097
Oh.

966
00:46:12,497 --> 00:46:13,757
Sugar crush.

967
00:46:13,957 --> 00:46:14,157
Yeah.

968
00:46:15,057 --> 00:46:16,017
All right.

969
00:46:16,017 --> 00:46:16,037
All right.

970
00:46:20,657 --> 00:46:22,657
All right.

971
00:46:23,557 --> 00:46:24,377
Here's the question.

972
00:46:24,377 --> 00:46:32,157
hello friends can you tell the story of the person you think you were in a past life

973
00:46:32,157 --> 00:46:39,737
no requirements except the era they were the person you became you the they were the person

974
00:46:39,737 --> 00:46:47,957
you became reincarnated as so their date of death is nine months before you were born born what

975
00:46:47,957 --> 00:46:55,617
okay so basically who were you immediately before you were this person that you are right now

976
00:46:55,617 --> 00:47:00,237
who were you so you you have been this person that you were before had to die

977
00:47:00,237 --> 00:47:09,897
yes oh whoa you just dropped i wasn't gonna do it but i am who i am i was gonna say i had to

978
00:47:09,897 --> 00:47:13,957
have been born in february of the year that you were born or died in february of the year that

979
00:47:13,957 --> 00:47:23,757
you were born okay bleep out the year that i said okay um okay yeah that did it put it back

980
00:47:23,757 --> 00:47:33,317
nine months and bleep it then uh february of the year i was i understand yeah so who was i

981
00:47:33,317 --> 00:47:37,737
and for me i guess that would be what like august of the year before i was born

982
00:47:37,737 --> 00:47:39,857
yeah

983
00:47:39,857 --> 00:47:41,497
August September

984
00:47:41,497 --> 00:47:43,077
yeah somewhere in there

985
00:47:43,077 --> 00:47:45,957
okay yeah so who were you

986
00:47:45,957 --> 00:47:48,057
before could be any

987
00:47:48,057 --> 00:47:49,817
kind of backstory that you

988
00:47:49,817 --> 00:47:51,157
oh my god

989
00:47:51,157 --> 00:47:54,137
I just realized I have the perfect

990
00:47:54,137 --> 00:47:55,977
one oh maybe you

991
00:47:55,977 --> 00:47:58,097
want to start well you know what happened

992
00:47:58,097 --> 00:48:00,037
nine months before I was

993
00:48:00,037 --> 00:48:00,477
born

994
00:48:00,477 --> 00:48:03,677
9-11

995
00:48:03,677 --> 00:48:06,077
what did you do

996
00:48:06,077 --> 00:48:09,057
I was a Saudi Arabian in a past life.

997
00:48:09,797 --> 00:48:11,057
It's not too soon, right?

998
00:48:11,317 --> 00:48:12,057
I can say that.

999
00:48:12,197 --> 00:48:12,997
Yeah, I can say that.

1000
00:48:13,157 --> 00:48:14,317
Yeah, it's fine.

1001
00:48:14,377 --> 00:48:15,757
We're friends with them now.

1002
00:48:15,917 --> 00:48:16,117
Yeah.

1003
00:48:16,597 --> 00:48:17,877
Sugar crush.

1004
00:48:20,437 --> 00:48:21,317
Yeah, so.

1005
00:48:21,557 --> 00:48:22,897
I don't appreciate what you did.

1006
00:48:22,897 --> 00:48:25,217
It really changed the way that we fly.

1007
00:48:28,057 --> 00:48:30,777
You're the reason TSA lights are really long right now.

1008
00:48:30,857 --> 00:48:32,337
I have to take my shoes off now.

1009
00:48:32,657 --> 00:48:33,797
Actually, we can keep them on now.

1010
00:48:33,917 --> 00:48:34,077
Yeah.

1011
00:48:34,077 --> 00:48:36,497
And that was because of Richard Reed, the shoe bomber.

1012
00:48:38,617 --> 00:48:43,417
That was a, that was many years later, I think, the shoes thing.

1013
00:48:45,517 --> 00:48:49,937
Anyway, so who were you in your previous life?

1014
00:48:53,257 --> 00:48:54,237
I don't know.

1015
00:48:54,237 --> 00:49:02,657
In my previous life, I was a wife.

1016
00:49:04,077 --> 00:49:08,397
to a mean man who made me a mean woman.

1017
00:49:09,857 --> 00:49:11,117
Yes, I had it all.

1018
00:49:12,177 --> 00:49:13,717
Yes, I could do whatever I wanted.

1019
00:49:15,057 --> 00:49:16,477
But he was a real bastard.

1020
00:49:16,897 --> 00:49:18,397
You know, he made me cynical.

1021
00:49:18,937 --> 00:49:19,677
He made me bitter.

1022
00:49:20,817 --> 00:49:23,597
We had one of those tubs that was heart-shaped and really big.

1023
00:49:24,597 --> 00:49:25,397
Oh, sure.

1024
00:49:25,637 --> 00:49:28,637
Like the kind you'd find in a cheap motel in Vegas.

1025
00:49:29,037 --> 00:49:31,177
Yeah, that's actually where I got the idea to put it in our house.

1026
00:49:31,937 --> 00:49:33,997
And he said yes, and then as soon as we installed it,

1027
00:49:33,997 --> 00:49:36,297
he would just bitch and bitch about all the money that it cost.

1028
00:49:36,757 --> 00:49:39,457
But he made a lot of money, which is why I was with him.

1029
00:49:40,537 --> 00:49:45,097
And then one day I came home and he was with some other woman.

1030
00:49:46,637 --> 00:49:46,997
No.

1031
00:49:47,477 --> 00:49:47,677
Yeah.

1032
00:49:47,817 --> 00:49:50,417
And I think her name was Michelle.

1033
00:49:52,557 --> 00:49:52,917
Whoa.

1034
00:49:53,117 --> 00:49:53,437
Anyway.

1035
00:49:53,597 --> 00:49:54,517
She sounds terrible.

1036
00:49:54,697 --> 00:49:55,497
I gunned her down.

1037
00:49:55,637 --> 00:49:55,977
Mm-hmm.

1038
00:49:57,237 --> 00:50:01,197
And even though I was really angry with him, I was projecting.

1039
00:50:01,197 --> 00:50:03,697
And like he was there and he saw me do it.

1040
00:50:03,997 --> 00:50:09,537
three right in the face and i was like who's ugly now who's ugly now i was screaming this

1041
00:50:09,537 --> 00:50:14,557
and i had more bullets but i just looked at him and i gave him a look that was like

1042
00:50:14,557 --> 00:50:21,277
you decide what happens now do you want to help me bury this woman and we continue our marriage

1043
00:50:21,277 --> 00:50:28,577
or do you want to die and we didn't even talk he just went and got some tarp yeah he just knew

1044
00:50:28,577 --> 00:50:33,517
he just knew so that look in your eye we got rid of her but now i'm for the rest of my life

1045
00:50:33,517 --> 00:50:39,097
I felt the crushing weight of knowing that he had this on me.

1046
00:50:39,477 --> 00:50:40,577
Very vindictive man.

1047
00:50:41,017 --> 00:50:41,837
Ooh, yeah.

1048
00:50:42,117 --> 00:50:45,397
It's tough to like leave a witness.

1049
00:50:45,797 --> 00:50:46,237
Yeah.

1050
00:50:46,337 --> 00:50:47,517
When you commit a murder.

1051
00:50:47,677 --> 00:50:48,337
I get it.

1052
00:50:48,377 --> 00:50:48,537
Yeah.

1053
00:50:48,777 --> 00:50:49,817
Especially one like him.

1054
00:50:50,577 --> 00:50:50,897
Yeah.

1055
00:50:51,037 --> 00:50:51,257
Yeah.

1056
00:50:51,337 --> 00:50:56,437
One that you know would not hesitate because if he needed to hurt you, he would do it.

1057
00:50:56,777 --> 00:50:56,937
Yeah.

1058
00:50:57,237 --> 00:51:01,737
Plus I won't say what year it was, but I wasn't 100% sure about like forensic technology and

1059
00:51:01,737 --> 00:51:02,577
fingerprints and stuff.

1060
00:51:02,577 --> 00:51:06,117
But you heard rumors of it

1061
00:51:06,117 --> 00:51:06,677
Yeah

1062
00:51:06,677 --> 00:51:07,317
Whispers

1063
00:51:07,317 --> 00:51:08,417
Yeah

1064
00:51:08,417 --> 00:51:12,237
And so yeah

1065
00:51:12,237 --> 00:51:13,657
It got to the point where

1066
00:51:13,657 --> 00:51:16,417
It was just

1067
00:51:16,417 --> 00:51:20,417
I couldn't

1068
00:51:20,417 --> 00:51:21,017
I had ulcers

1069
00:51:21,017 --> 00:51:22,617
My hair was falling out

1070
00:51:22,617 --> 00:51:23,857
My boobs were deflating

1071
00:51:23,857 --> 00:51:28,057
And then of course that makes him want you less

1072
00:51:28,057 --> 00:51:30,797
Typical man not even realizing it's his fault

1073
00:51:30,797 --> 00:51:31,357
Exactly

1074
00:51:31,357 --> 00:51:41,837
typical man so i uh poisoned him and i called myself a rat taxi good um so i got out of there

1075
00:51:41,837 --> 00:51:49,537
by the time he was gurgling and um but they caught me yeah they caught me i died in prison

1076
00:51:49,537 --> 00:51:57,317
how'd you die i slipped and i hit my head on the bars and my neck my head went through the bars

1077
00:51:57,317 --> 00:51:58,857
which they didn't even think was possible.

1078
00:51:58,917 --> 00:52:00,297
I'm the reason that they have tighter bars.

1079
00:52:00,637 --> 00:52:01,317
Oh yeah.

1080
00:52:01,377 --> 00:52:06,057
So my neck went through and then someone had made a makeshift rollerblade in

1081
00:52:06,057 --> 00:52:06,457
my cell,

1082
00:52:06,637 --> 00:52:10,377
my cellmate and they were rolling around and they ran into me and like

1083
00:52:10,377 --> 00:52:13,777
coconut at my head and broke my neck.

1084
00:52:13,917 --> 00:52:16,937
So those prison bars that are called Jacqueline bars,

1085
00:52:16,937 --> 00:52:18,557
that was because of you.

1086
00:52:18,717 --> 00:52:18,837
Yeah.

1087
00:52:18,857 --> 00:52:19,837
A lot of people think that's candy.

1088
00:52:19,917 --> 00:52:20,317
It's not.

1089
00:52:20,897 --> 00:52:21,297
Yeah.

1090
00:52:21,297 --> 00:52:22,537
I love that.

1091
00:52:22,617 --> 00:52:23,197
We both,

1092
00:52:23,417 --> 00:52:27,297
both of our past selves inspired institutional reform in the United States.

1093
00:52:27,817 --> 00:52:28,177
Oh.

1094
00:52:28,897 --> 00:52:30,097
I love that for us.

1095
00:52:30,637 --> 00:52:30,797
Yeah.

1096
00:52:31,997 --> 00:52:32,257
Hmm.

1097
00:52:32,977 --> 00:52:33,197
Hmm.

1098
00:52:33,737 --> 00:52:34,977
Think about that, America.

1099
00:52:35,577 --> 00:52:35,937
Yeah.

1100
00:52:36,697 --> 00:52:40,197
And don't be bad.

1101
00:52:40,417 --> 00:52:40,637
Yeah.

1102
00:52:40,957 --> 00:52:44,317
I'm, of course, talking to America Ferreira, friend of the show.

1103
00:52:44,637 --> 00:52:44,897
Yeah.

1104
00:52:45,417 --> 00:52:46,137
Hi, America.

1105
00:52:46,697 --> 00:52:47,157
How you doing?

1106
00:52:48,157 --> 00:52:49,097
Well, do you?

1107
00:52:49,217 --> 00:52:49,397
Okay.

1108
00:52:49,417 --> 00:52:50,297
Let me ask you this.

1109
00:52:50,297 --> 00:52:55,157
So it feels like you had to deal with a pretty shitty marriage in real life.

1110
00:52:56,297 --> 00:52:56,457
Yeah.

1111
00:52:56,457 --> 00:52:57,417
totally real life.

1112
00:52:58,957 --> 00:52:59,397
Well,

1113
00:52:59,477 --> 00:53:00,697
in your past life,

1114
00:53:00,797 --> 00:53:01,277
you know what I'm saying?

1115
00:53:01,297 --> 00:53:01,657
It was real.

1116
00:53:01,837 --> 00:53:02,077
Yeah,

1117
00:53:02,117 --> 00:53:03,277
your past real life.

1118
00:53:03,637 --> 00:53:03,817
So,

1119
00:53:04,017 --> 00:53:06,197
do you think your current life

1120
00:53:06,197 --> 00:53:07,057
is a reward

1121
00:53:07,057 --> 00:53:08,077
or a punishment

1122
00:53:08,077 --> 00:53:08,917
for your behavior

1123
00:53:08,917 --> 00:53:09,817
in your past life?

1124
00:53:10,877 --> 00:53:11,917
I think it's neutral.

1125
00:53:12,377 --> 00:53:12,697
Okay.

1126
00:53:13,437 --> 00:53:14,777
I think everything I did

1127
00:53:14,777 --> 00:53:15,397
could be justified.

1128
00:53:15,897 --> 00:53:16,117
So,

1129
00:53:16,957 --> 00:53:17,577
okay.

1130
00:53:18,297 --> 00:53:19,417
So you kind of paid

1131
00:53:19,417 --> 00:53:20,237
for all of your sins

1132
00:53:20,237 --> 00:53:21,897
in your previous life.

1133
00:53:21,997 --> 00:53:22,937
You've kind of balanced

1134
00:53:22,937 --> 00:53:24,037
out that slate.

1135
00:53:24,217 --> 00:53:25,097
That slate is clean.

1136
00:53:25,097 --> 00:53:28,457
so you're starting afresh in this life.

1137
00:53:28,597 --> 00:53:31,497
It sounds like you were a good person who made some mistakes.

1138
00:53:31,717 --> 00:53:33,477
You were put in a tough situation.

1139
00:53:33,837 --> 00:53:34,197
Thanks.

1140
00:53:34,357 --> 00:53:36,237
Aren't we all?

1141
00:53:36,697 --> 00:53:36,957
Yeah.

1142
00:53:37,237 --> 00:53:39,197
I feel like the next one's going to be really good.

1143
00:53:40,037 --> 00:53:40,877
Really good.

1144
00:53:42,077 --> 00:53:44,037
It's going to be 70 degrees all the time.

1145
00:53:44,977 --> 00:53:45,417
Nice.

1146
00:53:46,037 --> 00:53:46,277
Yeah.

1147
00:53:46,897 --> 00:53:47,977
And you're a frigid bitch.

1148
00:53:50,017 --> 00:53:50,497
Yep.

1149
00:53:51,137 --> 00:53:51,457
Yeah.

1150
00:53:51,457 --> 00:53:58,197
Oh, that's a very interesting past life.

1151
00:53:58,517 --> 00:53:59,817
I'm glad to know that about you.

1152
00:54:00,077 --> 00:54:00,397
Thank you.

1153
00:54:00,997 --> 00:54:03,257
As people in Mexico say, que interesante.

1154
00:54:05,337 --> 00:54:05,857
Yes.

1155
00:54:06,017 --> 00:54:06,457
Quesarito.

1156
00:54:07,477 --> 00:54:08,517
Oh, that's French.

1157
00:54:10,477 --> 00:54:11,037
Gorgon.

1158
00:54:11,237 --> 00:54:12,297
What was the gorgeous?

1159
00:54:12,937 --> 00:54:13,417
Gargong.

1160
00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:14,337
Gorgon.

1161
00:54:14,637 --> 00:54:15,077
Gorgon.

1162
00:54:15,857 --> 00:54:16,737
You'll get it.

1163
00:54:17,437 --> 00:54:19,297
Jenna, what were you in your past life?

1164
00:54:21,457 --> 00:54:27,197
I was Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.

1165
00:54:31,197 --> 00:54:32,357
Here's the thing.

1166
00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:44,377
So in my past life, I was a nice man, generally loved by all.

1167
00:54:45,997 --> 00:54:49,957
And I, but I had a daughter.

1168
00:54:49,957 --> 00:55:00,237
Now, this daughter was, when she was born, I hoped she would be the light of my life.

1169
00:55:02,357 --> 00:55:05,957
She was the ginger of your strife.

1170
00:55:06,177 --> 00:55:07,237
Yes, sadly.

1171
00:55:08,197 --> 00:55:11,677
She was a living terror.

1172
00:55:12,557 --> 00:55:13,117
You know her.

1173
00:55:13,277 --> 00:55:14,297
Her name is Wendy.

1174
00:55:15,977 --> 00:55:19,657
Now, everyone thinks Wendy's is a real sweet institution.

1175
00:55:19,957 --> 00:55:24,557
where I named it after my daughter, and look how adorable she is.

1176
00:55:25,137 --> 00:55:28,697
She's on our logo, and oh, I must have loved her so much.

1177
00:55:29,697 --> 00:55:30,157
No.

1178
00:55:31,517 --> 00:55:32,037
Sorry.

1179
00:55:32,757 --> 00:55:33,277
Sorry.

1180
00:55:33,329 --> 00:55:39,109
Wendy was not a frigid bitch in a good way.

1181
00:55:39,249 --> 00:55:40,629
She was...

1182
00:55:40,629 --> 00:55:41,529
A frosty bitch.

1183
00:55:41,529 --> 00:55:44,869
She, okay, she was a terror.

1184
00:55:45,329 --> 00:55:48,929
She was like a kid out of the Omen or something,

1185
00:55:49,109 --> 00:55:50,549
like terrorizing the neighborhood.

1186
00:55:51,389 --> 00:55:52,589
Pets would go missing.

1187
00:55:53,709 --> 00:55:54,429
Isn't that weird?

1188
00:55:54,849 --> 00:55:55,369
It is.

1189
00:55:55,509 --> 00:55:59,849
And she kept trying to break up, her mother and I,

1190
00:55:59,849 --> 00:56:01,889
Mrs. Thomas

1191
00:56:01,889 --> 00:56:04,169
Gwendolyn Thomas

1192
00:56:04,169 --> 00:56:05,949
we named Wendy after Gwendolyn

1193
00:56:05,949 --> 00:56:08,349
not knowing

1194
00:56:08,349 --> 00:56:10,049
what a horrible tribute that would be

1195
00:56:10,049 --> 00:56:11,069
to my poor sweet wife

1196
00:56:11,069 --> 00:56:12,749
she was the sweetest person

1197
00:56:12,749 --> 00:56:15,349
drove Gwendolyn to an early grave

1198
00:56:15,349 --> 00:56:15,929
Wendy did

1199
00:56:15,929 --> 00:56:18,169
now here's

1200
00:56:18,169 --> 00:56:21,469
here's where

1201
00:56:21,469 --> 00:56:23,469
my

1202
00:56:23,469 --> 00:56:25,269
fast food franchise

1203
00:56:25,269 --> 00:56:26,349
comes in

1204
00:56:26,349 --> 00:56:29,749
there was only one thing in this world

1205
00:56:29,749 --> 00:56:31,209
that Wendy loved.

1206
00:56:33,289 --> 00:56:39,809
Wendy loved her pet cow, Satan.

1207
00:56:40,089 --> 00:56:40,909
That's what she named it.

1208
00:56:42,209 --> 00:56:44,589
That's the kind of kid we're dealing with, okay?

1209
00:56:44,989 --> 00:56:46,569
She had a pet cow named Satan,

1210
00:56:46,709 --> 00:56:48,989
but this was the only thing on the planet that Wendy loved.

1211
00:56:51,409 --> 00:56:56,949
She was also terrified of squares.

1212
00:56:56,949 --> 00:57:01,369
so one day after my Gwendolyn died

1213
00:57:01,369 --> 00:57:04,829
I just

1214
00:57:04,829 --> 00:57:06,429
I couldn't take it anymore

1215
00:57:06,429 --> 00:57:09,589
I was at my limit of the nice old man

1216
00:57:09,589 --> 00:57:12,709
and I'll tell you what I did

1217
00:57:12,709 --> 00:57:16,629
and I would say I'm not proud of it but you know what I am proud of this

1218
00:57:16,629 --> 00:57:19,269
I killed Satan

1219
00:57:19,269 --> 00:57:24,129
and I made his meat

1220
00:57:24,129 --> 00:57:26,629
into burgers and it was

1221
00:57:26,629 --> 00:57:30,349
it was dinner time one day

1222
00:57:30,349 --> 00:57:31,829
and I was like Wendy

1223
00:57:31,829 --> 00:57:33,069
it's dinner time

1224
00:57:33,069 --> 00:57:34,489
and I sat

1225
00:57:34,489 --> 00:57:37,389
burger in front of Wendy

1226
00:57:37,389 --> 00:57:39,869
a square burger

1227
00:57:39,869 --> 00:57:41,649
not round

1228
00:57:41,649 --> 00:57:42,969
like you typically would be

1229
00:57:42,969 --> 00:57:44,849
because she likes round things

1230
00:57:44,849 --> 00:57:46,549
she hates squares

1231
00:57:46,549 --> 00:57:49,249
so I put this in front of her

1232
00:57:49,249 --> 00:57:50,369
she's looking at it

1233
00:57:50,369 --> 00:57:51,569
she's like you know I hate squares

1234
00:57:51,569 --> 00:57:52,549
why would you do this

1235
00:57:52,549 --> 00:57:54,109
I was like oh whoa

1236
00:57:54,109 --> 00:57:55,449
you don't like what I have to

1237
00:57:55,449 --> 00:57:59,769
to what I'm feeding you, why don't you go complain to Satan about it?"

1238
00:57:59,769 --> 00:58:01,269
She's like, you know what, maybe I will.

1239
00:58:01,269 --> 00:58:13,529
And then she ran out into the field and she like Satan Satan where are you Satan She couldn hear his bell She couldn hear his bell And Oh I forgot that was the pet Yeah

1240
00:58:14,629 --> 00:58:15,909
How did you kill?

1241
00:58:16,289 --> 00:58:17,589
No, I killed the cow, Satan.

1242
00:58:17,589 --> 00:58:18,329
Okay, got it.

1243
00:58:18,649 --> 00:58:19,509
To make the burgers.

1244
00:58:19,509 --> 00:58:19,949
Yeah.

1245
00:58:21,509 --> 00:58:23,729
And then finally she comes in.

1246
00:58:24,569 --> 00:58:26,169
She comes running in and.

1247
00:58:27,969 --> 00:58:33,669
Her, her red braids all asunder, the freckles on her face.

1248
00:58:33,669 --> 00:58:35,189
tears coming down her eyes.

1249
00:58:35,309 --> 00:58:40,929
And she's like, you killed Satan to make these burgers.

1250
00:58:42,369 --> 00:58:43,349
I was like, that's right.

1251
00:58:44,349 --> 00:58:47,049
And from now on, I'll kill everything you love

1252
00:58:47,049 --> 00:58:50,629
until you start behaving better.

1253
00:58:52,389 --> 00:58:57,589
And lo and behold, that worked.

1254
00:58:58,749 --> 00:59:00,449
She stayed indoors.

1255
00:59:00,449 --> 00:59:03,569
She didn't terrorize the neighborhood anymore.

1256
00:59:03,669 --> 00:59:10,109
and uh also the burgers were delicious i had a hit on my hands and a cow is a lot of meat i don't

1257
00:59:10,109 --> 00:59:14,989
know if you know that but it could feed a whole neighborhood and so i invited everybody over and

1258
00:59:14,989 --> 00:59:19,709
they were like we love this we love this you got to do more of this and you got to do it at a

1259
00:59:19,709 --> 00:59:27,049
grander scale so i was like fine i'll open up a restaurant and they were like oh well what are

1260
00:59:27,049 --> 00:59:36,229
you to name your restaurant? And I looked Wendy dead in her now vacant eyes. And I said, Wendy's,

1261
00:59:36,369 --> 00:59:45,029
because this is all because of her. And then eventually I got old and died of natural causes.

1262
00:59:46,109 --> 00:59:53,909
And now I'm, now I'm me. I think you've been rewarded. I do too. I stopped the world from

1263
00:59:53,909 --> 01:00:01,469
having to have, and I gave the world great food. I'm sorry. Frosty and fries. Whoa. Yeah.

1264
01:00:01,529 --> 01:00:10,189
Amazing. You're welcome. America Ferreira. So beautiful, beautiful. Yeah. Anyway, that's

1265
01:00:10,189 --> 01:00:18,189
who I was. So we were all, we were all a little murderous in our past lives, but you know,

1266
01:00:18,189 --> 01:00:18,789
But it worked out.

1267
01:00:19,089 --> 01:00:19,289
Yeah.

1268
01:00:19,909 --> 01:00:20,709
Just a little bit.

1269
01:00:21,189 --> 01:00:21,689
It worked out.

1270
01:00:21,929 --> 01:00:22,129
Yeah.

1271
01:00:23,389 --> 01:00:23,589
Well,

1272
01:00:24,689 --> 01:00:25,609
listener,

1273
01:00:25,869 --> 01:00:27,189
I think that answers

1274
01:00:27,189 --> 01:00:28,869
the big question.

1275
01:00:28,869 --> 01:00:29,929
The big question.

1276
01:00:31,209 --> 01:00:32,389
Thank you, baby.

1277
01:00:32,829 --> 01:00:33,489
All right.

1278
01:00:33,629 --> 01:00:33,809
Now,

1279
01:00:33,909 --> 01:00:35,169
if you out there

1280
01:00:35,169 --> 01:00:36,849
in the world

1281
01:00:36,849 --> 01:00:38,249
would like to submit

1282
01:00:38,249 --> 01:00:39,189
your own big question

1283
01:00:39,189 --> 01:00:53,608
for us to answer you can email us at veryfinefriends at gmail or you can contact us on all social media at veryfinefriends

1284
01:00:55,268 --> 01:00:58,768
Well, one last bit of business, Francis.

1285
01:00:59,468 --> 01:01:00,788
Secret words time.

1286
01:01:01,048 --> 01:01:01,208
Yep.

1287
01:01:01,468 --> 01:01:03,508
Got to reel in the anarchy here.

1288
01:01:03,848 --> 01:01:06,088
I wrote a bunch of them down.

1289
01:01:07,468 --> 01:01:07,868
Me too.

1290
01:01:07,968 --> 01:01:08,608
I think we both did.

1291
01:01:08,868 --> 01:01:09,108
Yeah.

1292
01:01:10,048 --> 01:01:13,028
How shall we begin?

1293
01:01:13,488 --> 01:01:13,848
I'm

1294
01:01:13,848 --> 01:01:19,568
You want this to go?

1295
01:01:22,348 --> 01:01:24,888
Let's just agree not to guess each other's words this time.

1296
01:01:25,688 --> 01:01:26,988
No, I'm not agreeing to that.

1297
01:01:27,088 --> 01:01:28,048
Fine, it's on, bitch.

1298
01:01:29,728 --> 01:01:30,528
Frigid bitch.

1299
01:01:31,248 --> 01:01:33,108
Do you want to go first or do you want me to go first?

1300
01:01:33,128 --> 01:01:33,688
No, I'll go first.

1301
01:01:33,768 --> 01:01:34,028
Okay.

1302
01:01:34,628 --> 01:01:35,928
I'm really worried about

1303
01:01:35,928 --> 01:01:51,708
this is scary okay um i'll just say it climbs no thank god i enjoyed you panicking about that

1304
01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:55,968
sure did sure did so now you can just enjoy that word for what it is thanks

1305
01:01:55,968 --> 01:01:59,268
is your decoy word terrorize nope

1306
01:01:59,268 --> 01:02:04,168
is your decoy word terrorizing nope

1307
01:02:04,168 --> 01:02:06,288
Get that shit out of the way.

1308
01:02:07,048 --> 01:02:08,608
Is your word franchise?

1309
01:02:09,308 --> 01:02:09,668
Nope.

1310
01:02:11,348 --> 01:02:14,148
Is your word obtrusive?

1311
01:02:15,108 --> 01:02:15,548
Nope.

1312
01:02:17,088 --> 01:02:19,248
Is your word unwieldy?

1313
01:02:19,668 --> 01:02:20,008
Nope.

1314
01:02:20,668 --> 01:02:22,168
Is your word winky?

1315
01:02:22,908 --> 01:02:23,288
No.

1316
01:02:24,588 --> 01:02:25,008
Slate?

1317
01:02:25,528 --> 01:02:25,868
Nope.

1318
01:02:26,768 --> 01:02:27,308
Institution?

1319
01:02:28,228 --> 01:02:28,568
Nope.

1320
01:02:30,008 --> 01:02:30,848
Rigorous?

1321
01:02:31,388 --> 01:02:31,788
Nope.

1322
01:02:31,788 --> 01:02:32,888
My last guess.

1323
01:02:34,168 --> 01:02:51,148
Satan. No, no. You search that a lot. Yeah. Uh, no, my word was marathon. No memory. I,

1324
01:02:51,228 --> 01:02:54,628
I said when people are on the sidewalk and it's hot and they're trying to get someplace,

1325
01:02:54,988 --> 01:02:58,768
it's a sprint, not a marathon. They're not looking to be on the sidewalk for a very long

1326
01:02:58,768 --> 01:03:02,828
time. Well placed. You kind of looked at me a little weird when I said it, but then you didn't

1327
01:03:02,828 --> 01:03:07,648
write anything down so i felt like i got away with it you did get i did no my decoy word was

1328
01:03:07,648 --> 01:03:26,648
too bad this wasn my real word because you said it a lot my decoy word was stalking oh damn yeah damn that would have i have been pissed yeah i know you would have it was like oh dang Because that would have been oh you would have won for the next year Yeah you said that a bunch

1329
01:03:27,628 --> 01:03:28,388
Okay, well.

1330
01:03:30,928 --> 01:03:31,508
All right.

1331
01:03:31,808 --> 01:03:34,068
I don't, so I have a bunch of words written down.

1332
01:03:35,188 --> 01:03:39,728
I don't know if there's any of them that I want to guess as a decoy.

1333
01:03:39,928 --> 01:03:42,448
I might just guess them all as your regular word.

1334
01:03:42,968 --> 01:03:43,668
You go right ahead.

1335
01:03:43,668 --> 01:03:47,348
I hope this isn't your word because I said it.

1336
01:03:47,808 --> 01:03:48,228
Pergola?

1337
01:03:49,588 --> 01:03:50,148
No.

1338
01:03:50,548 --> 01:03:51,808
Oh, you little bastard.

1339
01:03:54,008 --> 01:03:54,488
Invariably?

1340
01:03:54,848 --> 01:03:55,328
No.

1341
01:03:56,948 --> 01:03:57,468
Coupon?

1342
01:03:57,988 --> 01:03:59,948
Or coupons, plural?

1343
01:04:00,128 --> 01:04:00,428
No.

1344
01:04:02,608 --> 01:04:03,088
Ubiquitous?

1345
01:04:03,668 --> 01:04:04,088
No.

1346
01:04:04,568 --> 01:04:06,148
Have I guessed that before for you?

1347
01:04:06,528 --> 01:04:07,028
I don't know.

1348
01:04:07,148 --> 01:04:08,388
Or you might have guessed it for me.

1349
01:04:08,448 --> 01:04:09,788
I feel like that's been guessed before.

1350
01:04:09,888 --> 01:04:10,888
It's a pretty ubiquitous guess.

1351
01:04:10,948 --> 01:04:11,968
Yes, thank you.

1352
01:04:11,968 --> 01:04:12,348
I know.

1353
01:04:13,668 --> 01:04:18,848
whispers no okay

1354
01:04:18,848 --> 01:04:28,368
deflating no why did you look at joe i don't know i want to see his reaction he's part of this

1355
01:04:28,368 --> 01:04:34,228
destitute yes that's your word yeah oh

1356
01:04:34,228 --> 01:04:41,688
oh yeah all right well then i have two other words left that i want to guess is your decoy

1357
01:04:41,688 --> 01:04:51,968
okay okay is your decoy word glazer no okay is your decoy word pharaoh no oh boy i thought she

1358
01:04:51,968 --> 01:05:01,028
was gonna get it since i handed in yeah oh it was anarchy oh oh i did think that was weird that

1359
01:05:01,028 --> 01:05:05,508
basically what you said was the opposite well i guess like i thought it was weird and yet i know

1360
01:05:05,508 --> 01:05:06,288
not weird enough.

1361
01:05:06,628 --> 01:05:06,848
Hmm.

1362
01:05:08,768 --> 01:05:09,168
Destitute.

1363
01:05:09,368 --> 01:05:09,728
Yeah.

1364
01:05:10,408 --> 01:05:10,728
You know what?

1365
01:05:10,728 --> 01:05:11,408
I'm not even mad.

1366
01:05:11,708 --> 01:05:12,068
Good.

1367
01:05:12,168 --> 01:05:12,508
Thank you.

1368
01:05:16,228 --> 01:05:17,228
Sugar crush.

1369
01:05:17,968 --> 01:05:18,328
Okay.

1370
01:05:18,408 --> 01:05:18,648
Well,

1371
01:05:18,768 --> 01:05:20,788
another successful game for you.

1372
01:05:20,848 --> 01:05:22,188
I hope we go back and forth like this.

1373
01:05:22,688 --> 01:05:23,008
Yeah.

1374
01:05:23,008 --> 01:05:23,448
Cause I mean,

1375
01:05:23,448 --> 01:05:25,608
you beat me last time,

1376
01:05:25,628 --> 01:05:26,028
I think.

1377
01:05:26,068 --> 01:05:26,288
Yeah.

1378
01:05:26,468 --> 01:05:26,648
Yeah.

1379
01:05:26,648 --> 01:05:28,128
I was only trying to catch back up.

1380
01:05:28,568 --> 01:05:28,668
No,

1381
01:05:28,708 --> 01:05:28,788
I,

1382
01:05:28,928 --> 01:05:29,288
I mean,

1383
01:05:29,288 --> 01:05:30,128
we might've like,

1384
01:05:30,248 --> 01:05:32,828
we might be like back and forth leveling the playing field here.

1385
01:05:32,828 --> 01:05:33,788
We are athletes.

1386
01:05:34,228 --> 01:05:34,388
Oh,

1387
01:05:34,868 --> 01:05:35,348
elite.

1388
01:05:35,508 --> 01:05:37,428
elite athletes.

1389
01:05:38,748 --> 01:05:39,588
Oh, all right.

1390
01:05:39,648 --> 01:05:42,168
Well, I guess that's all there is.

1391
01:05:42,388 --> 01:05:43,028
Good night.

1392
01:05:43,228 --> 01:05:43,908
Good night.

1393
01:05:44,108 --> 01:05:46,308
Oh, pervert.
