1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:23,640
welcome to very fine friends hey y'all friends you sound a little down you down no i'm up i'm up

2
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:24,680
Here I'll go.

3
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:25,260
I'll say, ready?

4
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,600
Welcome to Very Fine Friends.

5
00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:30,980
Oh, that's the sound of a man who's up.

6
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:37,580
I say I'm so up, we should probably do a little bonus improv.

7
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:38,300
What do you say?

8
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,060
Oh, you mean it?

9
00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:41,320
Oh, I mean it.

10
00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:42,440
Today's your lucky day.

11
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,300
Bonus improv.

12
00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:44,500
Mm-hmm.

13
00:00:45,140 --> 00:00:46,020
Hit me with it, Joe.

14
00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:47,740
What's your suggestion, Joe?

15
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,160
My suggestion is...

16
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:52,020
Very big.

17
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:58,200
awards awards

18
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:08,660
you ever get an award francis yeah you know i've gotten an award i do the first award i ever got

19
00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:16,780
was champion chubby what they like put babies in like you know i don't think i knew this

20
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:20,620
yeah you said i have a picture of me holding the trophy i was a little baby you know babies have

21
00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:22,720
rolls. Yeah. So they like put all these like

22
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,640
rolly babies in a contest and whoever had like

23
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,120
the most rolls won the contest.

24
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,300
Wow. Yeah, it was me.

25
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:30,740
Thanks for immortalizing

26
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:31,480
that camera.

27
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:33,760
But that's cute.

28
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,100
Yeah, I was kind of cute. Yeah.

29
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,600
So this picture I was like smiling and like my

30
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,660
mouth is open and you can see my little baby tongue.

31
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:42,540
Surprise

32
00:01:42,540 --> 00:01:43,460
I didn't eat the trophy.

33
00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:46,640
Or did I?

34
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,380
Did you?

35
00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:48,580
Yeah.

36
00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:50,360
You were young.

37
00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:51,680
Guess who was in the picture with me?

38
00:01:52,260 --> 00:01:53,440
My little chihuahua, Kokomo.

39
00:01:56,340 --> 00:01:56,920
That's cute.

40
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,140
Yeah, I have a video of me going.

41
00:01:58,720 --> 00:01:59,920
We're like getting ready to leave the house.

42
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,320
And you know that they have like the big Magnavox?

43
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,800
Like over the shoulder camera?

44
00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:05,260
Yeah, yeah.

45
00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:07,760
And we're getting ready and I was like,

46
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,180
did you feed Kokomo?

47
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:10,280
It was so cute.

48
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:11,960
Adorable baby.

49
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:13,840
Did they feed Kokomo?

50
00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:15,680
Yeah, she said, yes, I fed Kokomo.

51
00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:17,240
I'll bring the video sometime.

52
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,040
All right, cool.

53
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,480
I look forward to it.

54
00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:20,540
Thanks.

55
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:21,520
Have you ever won anything?

56
00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:31,240
Um, I think probably the biggest award or like the, the one, the biggest is I not, not

57
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,640
really is the answer to this question.

58
00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:41,920
The closest I ever came, I think was, uh, when I was at basketball camp when I was probably

59
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:46,320
like 10, 11, 12, somewhere in there.

60
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:51,140
and they had us in like different groups

61
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:52,840
and like each group had their own like awards

62
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,000
but there was like one,

63
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,620
like there was like an overall award

64
00:02:56,620 --> 00:03:09,791
that was most improved camper that I won That was like the biggest award they had But it was funny

65
00:03:09,931 --> 00:03:13,231
I remember we're all sitting on the court in our lines

66
00:03:13,231 --> 00:03:15,411
as they're doing their award ceremony or whatever.

67
00:03:15,591 --> 00:03:16,471
And they're like, Most Improved.

68
00:03:16,511 --> 00:03:17,131
And they're like, Jenna.

69
00:03:17,771 --> 00:03:19,931
And it took me a second to realize they called my name.

70
00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,891
And so I didn't get up right away.

71
00:03:23,011 --> 00:03:25,651
It just didn't occur to me that it would be me.

72
00:03:26,871 --> 00:03:28,711
So then I jumped up and then I ran to the front.

73
00:03:28,711 --> 00:03:31,671
And they're like, look at her hustling even now to get her award.

74
00:03:32,751 --> 00:03:33,811
But it was one of those things.

75
00:03:33,811 --> 00:03:38,471
It's like, I knew, like, I know exactly why they gave it to me.

76
00:03:38,891 --> 00:03:40,191
And it was one of these moments.

77
00:03:40,191 --> 00:03:44,171
It was like, so I, it was like, like a recess type moment.

78
00:03:44,171 --> 00:03:47,971
And there was a bunch of like camp counselors standing around.

79
00:03:48,191 --> 00:03:51,111
And I went up to him and I was like, hey, can I ask you about my shot?

80
00:03:51,211 --> 00:03:52,291
And like, can you help me?

81
00:03:52,311 --> 00:03:53,771
Like, I'm not sure if I'm doing this right.

82
00:03:54,091 --> 00:03:58,071
So like, it was like, I took my time that was like technically my free time.

83
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,251
and I asked the counselors for help

84
00:04:00,251 --> 00:04:01,471
because I wanted to get better.

85
00:04:02,211 --> 00:04:04,031
And I'm pretty sure that that one moment,

86
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,451
and I remember at the time when it was happening,

87
00:04:06,551 --> 00:04:07,471
like I did actually want to,

88
00:04:07,531 --> 00:04:08,831
like I wasn't trying to game the system,

89
00:04:09,091 --> 00:04:10,631
but I remember at the time like being like,

90
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,631
they love this.

91
00:04:12,171 --> 00:04:14,711
They love that I asked them for help like this.

92
00:04:15,111 --> 00:04:18,011
And then it was like, it was proven correct.

93
00:04:18,671 --> 00:04:18,771
Wow.

94
00:04:18,931 --> 00:04:20,391
I didn't do it to be manipulative.

95
00:04:20,611 --> 00:04:22,231
No, no, I would never think that about you.

96
00:04:22,431 --> 00:04:23,971
Well, I mean, I am capable of that.

97
00:04:24,171 --> 00:04:25,611
But in that particular instance,

98
00:04:25,611 --> 00:04:31,811
I was legitimately asking for their help, but I could tell that they were.

99
00:04:31,811 --> 00:04:34,851
See, that's why I would love to be able to read minds, because that would be so funny.

100
00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:38,251
I was like watching all this happen, and then I just like reading your mind, and you're

101
00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:39,111
like, they love this.

102
00:04:39,871 --> 00:04:40,691
Laughing in the corner.

103
00:04:41,951 --> 00:04:43,051
You'll never know.

104
00:04:43,271 --> 00:04:43,591
Yeah.

105
00:04:44,591 --> 00:04:45,011
Well, that's great.

106
00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:45,471
Congratulations.

107
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:46,131
Yeah, thanks.

108
00:04:46,211 --> 00:04:47,671
I was like when I was 10.

109
00:04:47,851 --> 00:04:48,431
You earned it.

110
00:04:48,431 --> 00:04:53,931
I peaked with most improved, which also implies needing a lot of improvement.

111
00:04:55,611 --> 00:04:57,731
It implies not starting out so great.

112
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:58,451
It's okay.

113
00:04:58,771 --> 00:04:59,371
Still an award.

114
00:04:59,991 --> 00:05:00,191
Yeah.

115
00:05:00,391 --> 00:05:00,731
Thanks.

116
00:05:01,111 --> 00:05:01,911
I appreciate it.

117
00:05:02,131 --> 00:05:02,511
Anytime.

118
00:05:04,991 --> 00:05:07,051
And now, improv.

119
00:05:13,331 --> 00:05:16,691
Mildred, I have something for you.

120
00:05:16,871 --> 00:05:17,891
Oh, thank you.

121
00:05:18,171 --> 00:05:18,871
What is it?

122
00:05:18,871 --> 00:05:21,431
Well, I had it made at the Trophy Store.

123
00:05:22,411 --> 00:05:23,411
Has your name on it.

124
00:05:23,911 --> 00:05:24,231
Oh.

125
00:05:24,231 --> 00:05:27,831
Oh, is it best friend?

126
00:05:28,651 --> 00:05:29,151
Close.

127
00:05:29,451 --> 00:05:29,671
Oh.

128
00:05:30,771 --> 00:05:31,771
Let me open it for you.

129
00:05:31,911 --> 00:05:32,811
It says...

130
00:05:32,811 --> 00:05:33,251
Best pies?

131
00:05:33,551 --> 00:05:34,471
I make the best pies.

132
00:05:34,491 --> 00:05:35,111
No, no, no.

133
00:05:35,131 --> 00:05:41,211
It says, to Mildred, award, last week, you were not annoying.

134
00:05:42,631 --> 00:05:42,971
Oh.

135
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:45,371
It's heavy.

136
00:05:45,771 --> 00:05:47,331
Yeah, it implies cost.

137
00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:49,491
Oh, it's...

138
00:05:49,491 --> 00:05:58,491
Oh, the top of it is a bust of my head that my mouth is open and I look real naggy.

139
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:01,491
They got it pretty close, huh?

140
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:02,491
Yeah.

141
00:06:02,491 --> 00:06:12,841
Ooh Wait so wait I sorry Last week I was not annoyed No it was great It was really good I even got to cancel my therapy appointment this week Wait wait

142
00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:14,001
Thank you.

143
00:06:14,501 --> 00:06:15,261
Wait, no, I'm sorry.

144
00:06:15,261 --> 00:06:19,421
If I'm getting an award specifically for not being annoying last week,

145
00:06:20,621 --> 00:06:26,981
Agnes, does this mean I'm annoying all the other weeks?

146
00:06:27,601 --> 00:06:28,501
Oh my God.

147
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,101
I have an award just for this moment.

148
00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:32,161
To Mildred, award.

149
00:06:32,621 --> 00:06:34,761
for reading between the lines.

150
00:06:35,321 --> 00:06:36,581
Oh, no.

151
00:06:37,581 --> 00:06:38,641
Wait, no, no, no.

152
00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:40,581
Have you been trying, am I not good at that?

153
00:06:40,621 --> 00:06:42,781
Have you been trying to drop hints and I haven't been getting them?

154
00:06:43,581 --> 00:06:45,321
A third award.

155
00:06:45,561 --> 00:06:45,761
What?

156
00:06:46,061 --> 00:06:46,461
Mildred.

157
00:06:46,921 --> 00:06:47,641
She gets it.

158
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:49,761
Well, that one I like.

159
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,021
Oh, there's a little part at the bottom.

160
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,101
Other times she doesn't.

161
00:06:54,361 --> 00:06:54,721
Oh.

162
00:06:55,341 --> 00:06:55,581
What?

163
00:06:55,701 --> 00:06:56,181
It's cute.

164
00:06:56,181 --> 00:07:00,701
All of these awards are implying that most of my life I'm pretty stupid.

165
00:07:00,701 --> 00:07:04,161
and there's only fleeting moments

166
00:07:04,161 --> 00:07:05,561
where I'm actually a human being

167
00:07:05,561 --> 00:07:06,561
that you want to be around

168
00:07:06,561 --> 00:07:08,021
I gotta write that down, that's so poetic

169
00:07:08,021 --> 00:07:09,341
there's only fleeting moments

170
00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:11,301
where I'm a human being, where you want to be around

171
00:07:11,301 --> 00:07:13,161
that was good

172
00:07:13,161 --> 00:07:15,661
I might have a trophy for you next week for that

173
00:07:15,661 --> 00:07:20,201
look, I appreciate the trophies

174
00:07:20,201 --> 00:07:23,421
but you know what, I feel like I'd rather not have them

175
00:07:23,421 --> 00:07:24,801
if they're going to make me feel like this

176
00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:25,801
if they're going to make me feel

177
00:07:25,801 --> 00:07:29,621
like I have to rethink my whole life

178
00:07:29,621 --> 00:07:31,181
and everything I've ever said and done

179
00:07:31,181 --> 00:07:35,121
and every cat I've ever bought.

180
00:07:36,841 --> 00:07:39,281
You don't have a problem with my cats, do you?

181
00:07:40,301 --> 00:07:42,141
Well, I certainly wasn't going to waste money on them.

182
00:07:42,981 --> 00:07:43,981
It's a handwritten award.

183
00:07:44,341 --> 00:07:44,661
Oh.

184
00:07:44,841 --> 00:07:45,321
To Mildred.

185
00:07:47,361 --> 00:07:49,381
Last week, I didn't hate your cats.

186
00:07:50,821 --> 00:07:53,181
But next week I will.

187
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:53,621
Oh.

188
00:07:54,201 --> 00:07:56,521
No, next week your cat's hitting for me.

189
00:07:57,721 --> 00:07:59,181
You can't hate them if your cat's...

190
00:07:59,181 --> 00:07:59,981
Yeah.

191
00:08:00,341 --> 00:08:04,681
I know how negligent you get when you don't like things.

192
00:08:04,941 --> 00:08:05,121
Yeah.

193
00:08:05,721 --> 00:08:07,281
I throw cats.

194
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:09,501
You throw cats?

195
00:08:09,621 --> 00:08:10,601
Yeah, they land on their feet.

196
00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:12,021
You're getting so hysterical.

197
00:08:13,401 --> 00:08:16,121
Let's just go back to five minutes ago before you were upset.

198
00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:17,061
Okay.

199
00:08:17,461 --> 00:08:18,461
Let me just take all these back.

200
00:08:18,881 --> 00:08:19,281
Okay.

201
00:08:19,581 --> 00:08:19,901
Thank you.

202
00:08:19,901 --> 00:08:20,001
They're gone.

203
00:08:20,121 --> 00:08:20,941
They're off the table, literally.

204
00:08:21,441 --> 00:08:22,041
Thank you.

205
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:23,921
How you doing, Mildred?

206
00:08:26,801 --> 00:08:27,761
I'm pretty.

207
00:08:27,761 --> 00:08:30,101
I don't know.

208
00:08:31,541 --> 00:08:33,741
Let me tell you about,

209
00:08:33,921 --> 00:08:35,881
did I tell you about my leg thing?

210
00:08:38,161 --> 00:08:38,641
No.

211
00:08:39,021 --> 00:08:39,661
It's nothing.

212
00:08:40,001 --> 00:08:40,621
It's fine.

213
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:41,261
Oh, good, good.

214
00:08:41,401 --> 00:08:42,641
We can probably move on then.

215
00:08:42,701 --> 00:08:44,041
So here's the deal.

216
00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:44,441
Okay.

217
00:08:45,121 --> 00:08:47,461
I went to the doctor

218
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,561
and I was telling him

219
00:08:49,561 --> 00:08:50,141
I'm having these,

220
00:08:50,141 --> 00:08:51,021
skip, skip, skip, skip, skip.

221
00:08:51,501 --> 00:08:53,701
These pains up and down my leg.

222
00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:54,541
Skip forward, skip forward.

223
00:08:54,541 --> 00:08:55,901
And he's like,

224
00:08:55,901 --> 00:08:58,481
Mildred we've talked about this before

225
00:08:58,481 --> 00:09:00,261
It's on your head I'm like doctor

226
00:09:00,261 --> 00:09:01,741
I think you told me this story already

227
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:02,981
Oh did I? Yeah

228
00:09:02,981 --> 00:09:05,661
Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to repeat my story

229
00:09:05,661 --> 00:09:06,341
No that's okay

230
00:09:06,341 --> 00:09:16,612
Anyway I sure What is that face This face Yeah that face What is that gun Put that gun

231
00:09:16,612 --> 00:09:17,252
This gun?

232
00:09:17,872 --> 00:09:19,772
Yeah, remove it from your temple, please.

233
00:09:19,772 --> 00:09:20,172
No, okay.

234
00:09:20,272 --> 00:09:24,012
Well, I had an itch to leave this fucking world.

235
00:09:25,592 --> 00:09:25,992
Mildred.

236
00:09:26,312 --> 00:09:26,672
Agnes.

237
00:09:26,932 --> 00:09:27,852
We've been friends a long time.

238
00:09:27,932 --> 00:09:28,172
Yeah.

239
00:09:28,292 --> 00:09:29,152
I just have to be honest.

240
00:09:29,372 --> 00:09:33,332
We were both chubby babies next to each other in bassinets.

241
00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:34,372
I know, and I won.

242
00:09:35,212 --> 00:09:35,672
I know.

243
00:09:35,672 --> 00:09:38,592
Listen, there's a lot of great things about you.

244
00:09:39,192 --> 00:09:39,672
I'm just going to...

245
00:09:41,292 --> 00:09:42,212
You're here.

246
00:09:43,632 --> 00:09:44,152
Existing?

247
00:09:44,352 --> 00:09:44,632
Yeah.

248
00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:46,772
Existing is the best thing about me?

249
00:09:46,992 --> 00:09:48,192
Existing is so rare.

250
00:09:48,432 --> 00:09:49,372
Most people don't exist.

251
00:09:49,612 --> 00:09:51,252
Everyone does exist.

252
00:09:51,332 --> 00:09:53,532
Not the people who aren't here yet or who have died.

253
00:09:54,072 --> 00:09:56,072
The people that died existed.

254
00:09:56,652 --> 00:09:56,932
Okay.

255
00:09:57,732 --> 00:09:59,832
Well, you're either going to love this or you're going to hate this.

256
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,052
I have an award.

257
00:10:02,452 --> 00:10:03,312
It says,

258
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:04,772
Dear Mildred,

259
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:12,332
yeah you're alive yeah dot dot dot and then the smiley face that looks like this

260
00:10:13,172 --> 00:10:21,992
the like the woman's kind of sticking his tongue out yeah it's uh yeah but wait but the dot dot

261
00:10:21,992 --> 00:10:27,752
dot does that imply that implies something yeah it implies there's more on the backside

262
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,052
I'm turning around okay

263
00:10:30,052 --> 00:10:32,792
and I wish I was dead

264
00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:35,052
so my

265
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:36,892
award is for

266
00:10:36,892 --> 00:10:39,152
being

267
00:10:39,152 --> 00:10:41,172
alive but you wish

268
00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:41,852
you were dead

269
00:10:41,852 --> 00:10:45,372
do I really need to look in my bag for the one that says you get it

270
00:10:45,372 --> 00:10:48,592
yeah

271
00:10:48,592 --> 00:10:49,572
you know what

272
00:10:49,572 --> 00:10:50,952
you know what

273
00:10:50,952 --> 00:10:53,312
I have an award for you

274
00:10:53,312 --> 00:10:53,672
too

275
00:10:53,672 --> 00:10:57,032
I actually did have one made for you

276
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,672
this is very odd that you started doing this.

277
00:10:58,872 --> 00:10:59,612
Oh my God.

278
00:10:59,972 --> 00:11:00,492
Awards.

279
00:11:00,752 --> 00:11:01,012
Yeah.

280
00:11:01,432 --> 00:11:02,012
Give it to me.

281
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:03,312
Yeah.

282
00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:05,252
Here.

283
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:06,632
Here it is.

284
00:11:07,912 --> 00:11:10,032
It says to Agnes.

285
00:11:10,832 --> 00:11:11,072
Good.

286
00:11:11,452 --> 00:11:11,992
So far so good.

287
00:11:14,992 --> 00:11:18,392
The best friend in the whole world

288
00:11:18,392 --> 00:11:24,152
who makes me happy to be alive

289
00:11:24,152 --> 00:11:29,192
and who is the meaning of my existence.

290
00:11:30,552 --> 00:11:33,492
And I got you one other one.

291
00:11:33,872 --> 00:11:35,552
Oh, so sweet.

292
00:11:36,512 --> 00:11:40,332
To Agnes, best at not throwing cats.

293
00:11:40,692 --> 00:11:42,452
Oh, here I got one for myself too.

294
00:11:42,652 --> 00:11:44,292
It says to Agnes.

295
00:11:44,472 --> 00:11:45,652
So I guess I'm the asshole.

296
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:46,352
Thanks.

297
00:11:47,412 --> 00:11:47,792
Yeah.

298
00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:50,632
I guess you are.

299
00:11:51,372 --> 00:11:53,132
Well, I'm trophy rich.

300
00:11:54,152 --> 00:11:55,512
And I'm friend poor.

301
00:11:58,432 --> 00:11:58,972
That's it.