joe can we please get a suggestion for our improv scene please
if you could be bothered your suggestion is exfoliate
exfoliate
do you guys use loofahs
I use an African
he's an African loofah
what does that mean
I'm not the authority on this
I'll just tell you what I think it means
pretty sure you are the authority
in the room sure
yeah anyway it's a long
it's long
and I'm doing great
and it's got these little knots
all throughout it
and so you can it like really scrubs oh so is it like a piece of cloth
i don't know it's a piece of something okay is it like spongy is it no it's like netty
okay so it's net yeah long yeah with knots so you can do it's like a grid but there's like at the
where the square like where the points of the square would be it's knots so that's what scrubs
you.
Okay.
Do you see a picture
of this thing?
We need a close up on the squares.
This is making great podcasting.
Joe is showing us a picture.
It just looks like a plastic
netting your oranges come in.
That makes me
feel like I'm not getting clean
then. Honestly,
I just use a bar of soap.
No, nothing.
Your elbows are so clean.
And I never would know.
I'd do the same.
Now, isn't a loofah a sea creature?
Like a real, it's like a sea sponge.
Yeah, I think it is.
And then they dry it out.
So you are scrubbing yourself with an animal carcass.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's gross.
Is that really so different from eating an animal carcass and wearing an animal carcass?
Yes.
It is, because you're not supposed to clean yourselves.
I don't.
It's like a three C-cells type situation.
I don't take a snake and rub it all over my body.
Okay.
But if you were wet, you could dry your face off with your leather jacket.
Yeah.
I like the snake idea.
Because then there's finally something useful with snakes.
Go back and listen to...
Some episode.
Our first bonus content.
Snakes are safe.
Yeah, that's right.
Yes, the king snake helps.
Yeah, I think there is a big difference
If you cleaning yourself with an animal carcass it different than eating it or wearing it Okay that your opinion Yeah especially because when you wear it it usually lined
And it's...
I thought it was like lined, like drawn on.
Yeah, striped.
Cool.
And now, improv.
Honey?
Yeah?
i i did it i i bought i bought a new wig oh okay good i'm gonna put it on all right great you've
been talking about this for a while i'm excited thank you i love you love you too you mean that
i do of course i do no matter what yeah this build-up's making me oh no it's just conversation
Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm putting it on.
Okay.
It's a horse.
Whoa.
Look.
You want to comb it?
You just have a full horse's head on your head.
I can talk through the mouth.
Oh, my God, it's moving.
Oh, whoa.
What do you think?
This is, honey, um, first of all, I...
Don't worry, I still love you.
But this isn't a wig.
This looks like you're just wearing a horse's head.
It looks like you were a horse from the neck up.
Well, that's the intention.
You're acting like it's a nightmare.
I'm just trying to break the tension.
Oh, great.
Am I in for a lifetime of horse puns now?
Nay.
I'm sorry.
All right.
that was the last one pause those for a minute no more okay but it would behoove you oh my god
gerald can stop trying to flex with your famous sense of humor what is this all about
would you i you know i i love your face the way that it is and i love the top of your head the
way it is can i ask you a question oh god damn it gerald yes you can ask me a question
Um, do you think that this goes well with my, um, snake gloves?
I know, um, the snake gloves, stop, don't put them on.
Don't put them on.
Honey, the snake gloves, we've been over this.
They don't make sense.
Snakes don't have hands.
Oh, his.
Okay.
How long is this just a temporary?
Please stop petting your horse mane with your snake gloves Is this a temporary thing or are you looking to make this like a real chain I just take it off No I want to give it a chance
I want to give it a chance.
No, I'm mad.
I'm pissed.
No.
Let me take the gloves off, too.
No, no.
Put that head back on.
We are going to go to dinner for our anniversary like we planned.
Okay, but by help me, so God.
Or however it goes.
So help you, God.
Thank you. If you make one crack about my face or hands, I'm leaving and the divorce is over.
What's happening to me?
This horse head's happening to you.
Don't blame the horse head.
Okay, fine. Well, put it back on. We're going to dinner.
We cut to their anniversary dinner, which is happening at a jungle safari themed restaurant.
Hot in here.
Okay.
Gerald, if I'm not allowed to talk about it, you're not either.
Sorry, I had an itch.
Hello.
Welcome to Safaris, where safaris are fun.
Is this your first time here?
No, actually, this is our anniversary.
We are returning here because this is where he proposed.
Oh, fun.
Yeah, fun.
What are you looking at?
I'm sure he's just looking at you because you're one of his customers, honey.
I'm so sorry, sir.
What was your name?
My name's Travis.
Travis.
Thank you, Travis.
Can I get you guys anything?
Yeah.
Asshole.
I'd love Sauvignon Blanc.
Okay.
And just a trough for my husband.
We have this.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, honey.
Gerald, I'm sorry.
No, it's what I wanted.
Okay.
One Sauvignon Blanc and a trough.
And a trough.
Okay.
Can I get one of those blinders?
Blinders with your trough, sir?
Yeah.
Honey, come on.
What?
Don't be like that, okay?
I said I'd come.
You don't have to put on the blinders so you can't see me.
I don't want to see anyone else.
Oh.
Oh, that was kind of sweet, actually.
Yeah.
Bring in blinders.
Okay.
You know what?
Blinders for me, too.
And a carrot!
Jesus Christ.
All right.
All right, so far.
It's going well.
It's all right.
It's going...
Travis really took that in stride.
What do you mean?
He didn't seem fazed by your own side.
Why would he be fazed?
You're the only one here that doesn't have a human head as their...
Can I ask you why you didn't show the same level of frustration
with Lady Gaga wearing a meat dress?
Well um funny story about me and Mary uh Lady Gaga we not married So if I was married to Lady Gaga I would have that level of concern about her meat dress
Okay.
So you're, you're, you are embarrassed.
Well, no, I'm not.
Okay.
I'm not embarrassed of you.
It is really weird to see a horse's mouth move every time you talk.
Your mane does look really nice though.
Thank you.
One nice thing.
It does.
You have.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Okay.
Take care of things.
Be ready to receive me when I come back.
Okay.
Sure you don't want to just pee right here?
Like a horse would?
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A little hanging fruit.
Okay, ma'am.
Here's your Sauvignon Blanc.
Thank you.
We have a trough and...
Sorry, he's in the bathroom right now.
Thank you for being cool about this.
Okay.
So in order for blinders, ma'am, we have to have our animal handler put them on.
But management won't let him put it on itself.
So Gunther here, our zebra handler.
You have a zebra handler?
Well, yes.
What's up, Gunther?
This is safaris.
That's true.
This is our, yeah, we...
Okay, I'm back.
Honey?
Who's your friend?
I'm Gunther.
This is Gunther.
Who's Gunther?
Legally, the restaurant has to have Gunther put the blinders on you.
No.
no honey i'm not gonna let you abandon no get the check no honey look hey i'm going wild is
supporting your dreams and i am supporting this dream you want to be a horse and i'm not gonna
let you give up on it like the way you gave up on model trains hey or stop stop it no stop
Stop pulling on me.
No, sit down.
Come here, fake guy.
Let Gunther put some blinders.
I hate to be called that.
It's quite nice.
Here, have some sugar cubes.
Yeah, that's right.
Now lick some salt.
Honey, just put the blinders on.
Let Gunther put the blinders on you.
We'll have a great evening.
we can dart him if you would like
oh it'll make him a little more docile
he'll be out for about 30 minutes
what do you think honey
can Gunther do it
hey no I
don't like the way you said that
he's a professional it's the law
just let Gunther
put a dart in you
I'm ready
alright scene
I'll see you next time.