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welcome

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to very fine friends bonus improv uh joe if you could just hurry up please give us a suggestion

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for a scene. I don't like my parents.

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Oh wait, I don't know why.

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You don't have to show it to us like a secret word.

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Your suggestion is lonely.

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Oh.

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I hope you're lonely.

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Sorry, that was

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mean. I said I was grateful

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for you.

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That was a different episode.

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Yep.

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I said it outside of the podcast.

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I know about

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loneliness.

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I've been very lonely

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I'm sorry

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I've been so lonely

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I never thought I would

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know what it felt like

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to not be lonely

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that's terrible

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let's do some improv

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I hope you don't feel like that anymore

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no I have a dog

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it's not a nice thing to call me

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no I think it's interesting

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what I've noticed is that

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like there's a lot of

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I really don't mind being by myself

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now as like a established adult

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yeah

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but I know a lot of people who are like very bad

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at being alone

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and so it's like I see that

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they don't know how to act

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when they're by themselves

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and it's like their whole goal

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to like just like be in a room with someone or like find someone yeah and i don't relate to that

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because i if i don't like enjoy someone i would rather be by myself yeah totally but there's a

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lot of people who would rather have the company of someone they don't even like yeah weird that is

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weird yeah i am also very comfortable being alone in fact sometimes seek it out uh

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uh,

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you know,

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like,

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yeah,

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but like I'll,

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I go to restaurants alone often.

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Uh,

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and there are just people that don't know how to handle that.

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They don't know how to handle like sitting alone and just like eating and not having,

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and it's,

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it is the worst when you go to a restaurant and like,

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I like to sit at a bar.

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I don't like getting tables.

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As you well know,

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Francis.

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Dude.

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And it's,

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that's the bad,

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the one bad thing about sitting at a bar is that,

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you get these people, these like needy people that they think because you're at a bar,

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doesn matter if you got a book out or you got a computer or like Right it like you fair game to them Yeah exactly The worst is being trapped on an airplane next to one of those people

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And then you're like, how?

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How?

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I'm sorry.

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Did I ever tell you about Kath?

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No.

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I was on a plane going to visit my friend in North Carolina.

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And I was sitting next to this woman.

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So we were in like one of the first rows.

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And she sat next to me and immediately started talking to me.

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and I was kind of like annoyed because I didn't want that.

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But then it was revealed she was very drunk.

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So I was like, okay, I'm interested now because this is getting funny.

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And she was like talking, like she kept talking to me.

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First I was annoyed because I wanted to put my headphones on.

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Then I was like, I'm just going to roll into this.

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And so I just started like being myself and like making her laugh.

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And like I was getting a kick out of it because she was like dangerously drunk.

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And we were like in the air and she was saying something about a hot,

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like, oh, we never get hot flight attendants.

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And so I like leaned in the aisle and I was like, can we get a hot flight attendant, please?

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Like just to her.

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And she like went berserk laughing.

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And then the flight attendant came by and they were like, I need you to be quiet.

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And she didn't quite hear because I was in the aisle.

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And she goes, what did he say?

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And I said, he said you're being too loud.

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And she like was looking at me.

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And then she looked straight forward and put her headphones on and like didn't say another word for the rest of the flight.

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Her name is Kath.

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Kath.

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If you're listening, that one's for you.

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And now, improv.

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Miss Rachel Derry?

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Yeah?

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We're so glad we could get you on this plane.

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Stand by for Christmas.

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Oh, I am so grateful.

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Thank you so much.

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Just come right on up here.

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Okay.

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You are going to be sitting in the jump seat next to me, the lead flight attendant.

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Oh, well, that's exciting.

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Yes.

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And you'll be serving the guests.

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Oh.

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And distributing pillows.

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Oh.

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Oh, I need to work the flight.

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Oh, we can't legally call it work.

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You're volunteering to do a job.

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Oh, okay.

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Here's a pin.

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Oh, oh.

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Yep.

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Oh, you pinned it on for me.

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Thank you.

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Right into the skin.

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Yeah, no, that...

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I know, I'm wearing a tube top.

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Yes.

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Technically, it is a dress code violation, so your pay is going to be docked.

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Wait, I get paid?

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Yeah, well, you get paid less.

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Okay, okay, all right.

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Anyway, Merry Christmas.

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Thank you.

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Well, I mean, anything that gets me home to my family, I'll do.

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I appreciate.

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Yes, in two to three days, you will be there.

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Wait, what?

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Two to three?

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It's Christmas Eve.

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Well, we work puddle shifts, so basically, they get off and we stay.

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You know And we go to the next flat Wait I gotta wait but I going to St Louis The first stop is St Louis No you going to Cincinnati by way of St Louis

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And then you're going to New York.

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And then you're going to Shreveport, Louisiana.

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Staying the night there.

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Then you're going...

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To Colorado.

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Then you're going...

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Two hours outside of St. Louis.

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We just built an airport.

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What?

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Snoot.

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It's far.

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Did you say snoot?

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Snoot.

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Oh, it's new.

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Snoot.

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It's far.

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It's new.

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And then you take a shuttle with the rest of employees and we'll get you to the airport

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and then a taxi will take you home.

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This is so much travel.

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I feel like, but this is the only flight I've been able to get.

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I've been trying for days, and I promised my mom I'd be there.

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Do you need a hug?

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Yeah, that would be.

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Come on.

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Bosom to bosom.

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And squeeze.

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Oh, you just pressed the pin a little bit into my skin.

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That's how we stay awake, because let's be honest, it's a long flight.

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Yeah, these puddles, they ain't going to jump themselves, I guess.

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You're already getting the work humor.

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I love that about you.

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I read your TSA file.

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What?

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it says you have a real problem with authority so is this going to be okay i know you've been

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removed from a few flights no judgment you're not my superior in any way are you i mean as far as

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i can tell we're peers in which case you're not an authority figure so we should be good

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tell me one secret oh that will be proof that we're the same um

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well okay um sometimes i i like to make cakes that look like bombs

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they're really realistic they could be on is it cake i'm your superior and you shouldn't

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have told me that what you tricked me i didn't mean to but a bomb cake is a big gwendoline

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I've

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Oh

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Hey, keep a smile on your face

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Or the people will be mad

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Come on, let's deliver some drinks

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Don't tell me what to do

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Hey, come on, it's a long flight

187
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We're girls, we're friends

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I'm Gwendolyn

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My mom wasn't expecting me

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God damn it, Gwendolyn

191
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Please don't say that

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There's religious people on the plane

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Six of them, actually

194
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Gosh

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darn it Gwendolyn okay all right here you take the craft morning morning morning come on good

196
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morning no I will throw you off this plane don you dick Gwendolyn Don make me be folksy I opening the hatch No no

197
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You, well, you want,

198
00:09:01,585 --> 00:09:03,165
you don't want me to jump out of the hatch

199
00:09:03,165 --> 00:09:03,605
or you do?

200
00:09:03,665 --> 00:09:04,445
Because I'm...

201
00:09:04,445 --> 00:09:05,345
I was going to push you.

202
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:08,645
Oh, well, I'm going to cling to this plane.

203
00:09:08,685 --> 00:09:09,345
You're going to cling?

204
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:10,365
Like grim death.

205
00:09:10,365 --> 00:09:11,625
Look at the first class passengers.

206
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They're getting pissed.

207
00:09:14,545 --> 00:09:15,725
So sorry up there.

208
00:09:15,945 --> 00:09:16,945
Where's my mind?

209
00:09:17,785 --> 00:09:18,885
I don't know.

210
00:09:19,465 --> 00:09:22,645
You're making me bad at my job.

211
00:09:23,505 --> 00:09:27,105
I have a feeling I'm revealing that you were always bad at your job, Gwendolyn.

212
00:09:27,705 --> 00:09:29,085
You authority figure.

213
00:09:31,525 --> 00:09:32,245
That's right.

214
00:09:32,685 --> 00:09:36,725
I went from being real nice to real anti-authority real quick.

215
00:09:37,365 --> 00:09:39,025
That's a real secret about me.

216
00:09:40,385 --> 00:09:41,885
That really hurts my feelings.

217
00:09:42,205 --> 00:09:44,025
And I was going to do something so nice for you.

218
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:45,865
So nice you'd never forget it.

219
00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:48,885
So nice you would name one of your kids after me.

220
00:09:48,885 --> 00:09:51,045
Now I'm just feeling real bad.

221
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:52,625
And I have to fart.

222
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,305
Well, go ahead, Gwendolyn.

223
00:09:56,365 --> 00:09:57,385
We're in a tin can.

224
00:09:58,505 --> 00:10:03,125
That's being bad at your job, which is the only thing you're good at.

225
00:10:03,785 --> 00:10:04,145
Great.

226
00:10:05,525 --> 00:10:06,145
A squeaker.

227
00:10:08,645 --> 00:10:10,785
Well, I hope you know you've broken a heart tonight.

228
00:10:12,325 --> 00:10:16,145
If you go ahead and look in seat 16B, you'll see what you were going to get.

229
00:10:16,145 --> 00:10:28,705
oh baby what is this how you treat people oh oh i'm so sorry i can't believe i raised a monster

230
00:10:28,705 --> 00:10:39,665
mom no this was a big surprise oh mom oh i'm so sorry oh mom but your first forced shift on an

231
00:10:39,665 --> 00:10:41,965
airplane and we were all going to be here for it.

232
00:10:43,085 --> 00:10:45,505
Your dad's here too. Oh god, dad.

233
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,385
Oh wait, no. My baby.

234
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,945
Is that? She's a bitch.

235
00:10:53,985 --> 00:10:54,985
Oh no, not

236
00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:57,725
little cousin Timmy and his crutch.

237
00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:02,305
Oh, Timmy, I'm so sorry.

238
00:11:02,305 --> 00:11:05,305
Oh, I used to love you.

239
00:11:05,305 --> 00:11:11,185
Gwendolyn, why would you do this to me?

240
00:11:11,625 --> 00:11:13,145
You were supposed to be nice

241
00:11:13,145 --> 00:11:15,165
You read my TSA jacket

242
00:11:15,165 --> 00:11:17,805
You knew what my weak points were

243
00:11:17,805 --> 00:11:19,225
And then you pressed those buttons

244
00:11:19,225 --> 00:11:22,825
Because we had to know if you were worthy of a beautiful Christmas

245
00:11:22,825 --> 00:11:25,045
And guess what?

246
00:11:25,865 --> 00:11:27,965
You ain't worth nothing

247
00:11:27,965 --> 00:11:30,085
Gwendolyn

248
00:11:30,085 --> 00:11:31,185
I'm going in the cockpit

249
00:11:31,185 --> 00:11:36,345
scene