welcome
to very fine friends bonus improv uh joe if you could just hurry up please give us a suggestion
for a scene. I don't like my parents.
Oh wait, I don't know why.
You don't have to show it to us like a secret word.
Your suggestion is lonely.
Oh.
I hope you're lonely.
Sorry, that was
mean. I said I was grateful
for you.
That was a different episode.
Yep.
I said it outside of the podcast.
I know about
loneliness.
I've been very lonely
I'm sorry
I've been so lonely
I never thought I would
know what it felt like
to not be lonely
that's terrible
let's do some improv
I hope you don't feel like that anymore
no I have a dog
it's not a nice thing to call me
no I think it's interesting
what I've noticed is that
like there's a lot of
I really don't mind being by myself
now as like a established adult
yeah
but I know a lot of people who are like very bad
at being alone
and so it's like I see that
they don't know how to act
when they're by themselves
and it's like their whole goal
to like just like be in a room with someone or like find someone yeah and i don't relate to that
because i if i don't like enjoy someone i would rather be by myself yeah totally but there's a
lot of people who would rather have the company of someone they don't even like yeah weird that is
weird yeah i am also very comfortable being alone in fact sometimes seek it out uh
uh,
you know,
like,
yeah,
but like I'll,
I go to restaurants alone often.
Uh,
and there are just people that don't know how to handle that.
They don't know how to handle like sitting alone and just like eating and not having,
and it's,
it is the worst when you go to a restaurant and like,
I like to sit at a bar.
I don't like getting tables.
As you well know,
Francis.
Dude.
And it's,
that's the bad,
the one bad thing about sitting at a bar is that,
you get these people, these like needy people that they think because you're at a bar,
doesn matter if you got a book out or you got a computer or like Right it like you fair game to them Yeah exactly The worst is being trapped on an airplane next to one of those people
And then you're like, how?
How?
I'm sorry.
Did I ever tell you about Kath?
No.
I was on a plane going to visit my friend in North Carolina.
And I was sitting next to this woman.
So we were in like one of the first rows.
And she sat next to me and immediately started talking to me.
and I was kind of like annoyed because I didn't want that.
But then it was revealed she was very drunk.
So I was like, okay, I'm interested now because this is getting funny.
And she was like talking, like she kept talking to me.
First I was annoyed because I wanted to put my headphones on.
Then I was like, I'm just going to roll into this.
And so I just started like being myself and like making her laugh.
And like I was getting a kick out of it because she was like dangerously drunk.
And we were like in the air and she was saying something about a hot,
like, oh, we never get hot flight attendants.
And so I like leaned in the aisle and I was like, can we get a hot flight attendant, please?
Like just to her.
And she like went berserk laughing.
And then the flight attendant came by and they were like, I need you to be quiet.
And she didn't quite hear because I was in the aisle.
And she goes, what did he say?
And I said, he said you're being too loud.
And she like was looking at me.
And then she looked straight forward and put her headphones on and like didn't say another word for the rest of the flight.
Her name is Kath.
Kath.
If you're listening, that one's for you.
And now, improv.
Miss Rachel Derry?
Yeah?
We're so glad we could get you on this plane.
Stand by for Christmas.
Oh, I am so grateful.
Thank you so much.
Just come right on up here.
Okay.
You are going to be sitting in the jump seat next to me, the lead flight attendant.
Oh, well, that's exciting.
Yes.
And you'll be serving the guests.
Oh.
And distributing pillows.
Oh.
Oh, I need to work the flight.
Oh, we can't legally call it work.
You're volunteering to do a job.
Oh, okay.
Here's a pin.
Oh, oh.
Yep.
Oh, you pinned it on for me.
Thank you.
Right into the skin.
Yeah, no, that...
I know, I'm wearing a tube top.
Yes.
Technically, it is a dress code violation, so your pay is going to be docked.
Wait, I get paid?
Yeah, well, you get paid less.
Okay, okay, all right.
Anyway, Merry Christmas.
Thank you.
Well, I mean, anything that gets me home to my family, I'll do.
I appreciate.
Yes, in two to three days, you will be there.
Wait, what?
Two to three?
It's Christmas Eve.
Well, we work puddle shifts, so basically, they get off and we stay.
You know And we go to the next flat Wait I gotta wait but I going to St Louis The first stop is St Louis No you going to Cincinnati by way of St Louis
And then you're going to New York.
And then you're going to Shreveport, Louisiana.
Staying the night there.
Then you're going...
To Colorado.
Then you're going...
Two hours outside of St. Louis.
We just built an airport.
What?
Snoot.
It's far.
Did you say snoot?
Snoot.
Oh, it's new.
Snoot.
It's far.
It's new.
And then you take a shuttle with the rest of employees and we'll get you to the airport
and then a taxi will take you home.
This is so much travel.
I feel like, but this is the only flight I've been able to get.
I've been trying for days, and I promised my mom I'd be there.
Do you need a hug?
Yeah, that would be.
Come on.
Bosom to bosom.
And squeeze.
Oh, you just pressed the pin a little bit into my skin.
That's how we stay awake, because let's be honest, it's a long flight.
Yeah, these puddles, they ain't going to jump themselves, I guess.
You're already getting the work humor.
I love that about you.
I read your TSA file.
What?
it says you have a real problem with authority so is this going to be okay i know you've been
removed from a few flights no judgment you're not my superior in any way are you i mean as far as
i can tell we're peers in which case you're not an authority figure so we should be good
tell me one secret oh that will be proof that we're the same um
well okay um sometimes i i like to make cakes that look like bombs
they're really realistic they could be on is it cake i'm your superior and you shouldn't
have told me that what you tricked me i didn't mean to but a bomb cake is a big gwendoline
I've
Oh
Hey, keep a smile on your face
Or the people will be mad
Come on, let's deliver some drinks
Don't tell me what to do
Hey, come on, it's a long flight
We're girls, we're friends
I'm Gwendolyn
My mom wasn't expecting me
God damn it, Gwendolyn
Please don't say that
There's religious people on the plane
Six of them, actually
Gosh
darn it Gwendolyn okay all right here you take the craft morning morning morning come on good
morning no I will throw you off this plane don you dick Gwendolyn Don make me be folksy I opening the hatch No no
You, well, you want,
you don't want me to jump out of the hatch
or you do?
Because I'm...
I was going to push you.
Oh, well, I'm going to cling to this plane.
You're going to cling?
Like grim death.
Look at the first class passengers.
They're getting pissed.
So sorry up there.
Where's my mind?
I don't know.
You're making me bad at my job.
I have a feeling I'm revealing that you were always bad at your job, Gwendolyn.
You authority figure.
That's right.
I went from being real nice to real anti-authority real quick.
That's a real secret about me.
That really hurts my feelings.
And I was going to do something so nice for you.
So nice you'd never forget it.
So nice you would name one of your kids after me.
Now I'm just feeling real bad.
And I have to fart.
Well, go ahead, Gwendolyn.
We're in a tin can.
That's being bad at your job, which is the only thing you're good at.
Great.
A squeaker.
Well, I hope you know you've broken a heart tonight.
If you go ahead and look in seat 16B, you'll see what you were going to get.
oh baby what is this how you treat people oh oh i'm so sorry i can't believe i raised a monster
mom no this was a big surprise oh mom oh i'm so sorry oh mom but your first forced shift on an
airplane and we were all going to be here for it.
Your dad's here too. Oh god, dad.
Oh wait, no. My baby.
Is that? She's a bitch.
Oh no, not
little cousin Timmy and his crutch.
Oh, Timmy, I'm so sorry.
Oh, I used to love you.
Gwendolyn, why would you do this to me?
You were supposed to be nice
You read my TSA jacket
You knew what my weak points were
And then you pressed those buttons
Because we had to know if you were worthy of a beautiful Christmas
And guess what?
You ain't worth nothing
Gwendolyn
I'm going in the cockpit
scene