1
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welcome to very fine friends bonus improv do you mean it bonus i sure do wow joe can we please

2
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get a suggestion sure can your suggestion is seasoned seasoned i like that as a descriptor

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for like someone who's been around been around the block and they're seasoned oh yeah like a

4
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seasoned hooker yeah exactly that's what i was thinking um yeah you know just in general i think

5
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that's a good euphemism yeah yeah you're seasoned yeah i don't okay okay when you say seasoned

6
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what do you think that means what do you think what definition

7
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what definition of season do you think they're using because up until this very moment i thought

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it was like paprika and stuff well like they're well flavored but season is also time they've

9
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been through many seasons it's a seasoned veteran uh yeah season of time see i okay so i was thinking

10
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of kind of a mixture of those things you know how like when you use cast iron a lot yeah the more

11
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you use it the more seasoned it becomes yeah and you're using it over seasons yes whoa yeah this

12
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word is layers it is a good word we need to put this word in our our if we have a dictionary okay

13
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A very fine dictionary where we only put words we like, that one goes in there.

14
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Okay.

15
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All right.

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We'll make it.

17
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I sure it available for sale by now Yeah Yeah Uh there only one word in it Jesus We only like one word

18
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It's not our fault.

19
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The other words need to step up.

20
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Yeah.

21
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They're not doing their part.

22
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I agree.

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Random House, if you're listening, and we know you are.

24
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First of all, be specific, Random House.

25
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Stop being random.

26
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Yeah.

27
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Yeah.

28
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Yeah.

29
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Yeah.

30
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Yeah.

31
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I told them.

32
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Yeah.

33
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that's my email to them dear random house yeah yeah yeah the last one was in all caps

34
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sincerely anonymous but it has my isp in it um i've got good ideas for commercials for you

35
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let's get you back in the game and now improv

36
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Honey, I want to admit something to you.

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Tell me anything and you know that.

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I don't like that I'm aging.

39
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I don't like that at all.

40
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And I think I've figured out a way to stop the aging process.

41
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Oh, thank God.

42
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Oh, so you were thinking it too.

43
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I was going to love you forever no matter what,

44
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But I'm 26 years old now.

45
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That's...

46
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Going on 50.

47
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I know.

48
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I know.

49
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But you said you think you found a way.

50
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Yeah.

51
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Okay.

52
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So I'm only going to experience summertime.

53
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That's it.

54
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Just summers.

55
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What?

56
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The other three seasons, I'm just not going to do them.

57
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Huh?

58
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Say what?

59
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Say what?

60
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Yeah.

61
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I'm just not going to do them.

62
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How?

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Well, I'm sure science is pretty close to some kind of a thing for this.

64
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I just going to just I going to be like a bear or something I going to hibernate I only doing summer And then that way when everyone else is getting real seasoned going through all four seasons of the year the terrible winters

65
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that are horrible on your skin, the fall and the sweaters and the wool, not me. I only experience

66
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summertime. And so I will be only one fourth as old as other people that experience all four

67
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seasons. I'm trying to find a hole

68
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in this plan. There's no flaw. I can't find it.

69
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I know. One of the benefits of being

70
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as old as I am is the wisdom. The wisdom.

71
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Yeah. So, will you be

72
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sleeping this whole time? Sorry, I'm stupid. I'm just

73
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trying to catch up. No, no, no. That's okay. I know you haven't

74
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done the research like I have. Yeah.

75
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Yes, it'll be like a deep, like,

76
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coma sensation. How will

77
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you get into the coma? Science.

78
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Of course.

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God, I'm stupid. It's okay.

80
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It's alright. You don't know. It's not everybody knows

81
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about science. I just know these things.

82
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It's because of the wisdom.

83
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You're right.

84
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You're right.

85
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I should have paid more attention.

86
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Okay.

87
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Well, you're only 25.

88
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You'll get there.

89
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I know.

90
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Still wet behind the ears.

91
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Oh.

92
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That's because you live in spring, which is the wet season.

93
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But I'm going to miss you.

94
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That's the thing.

95
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I'm going to miss you.

96
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I know, honey, but I'm sorry.

97
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I have to do this.

98
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Can I come too?

99
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No, you're aging like a fine wine.

100
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You're not like me.

101
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You're lucky.

102
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You're a man

103
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You're right, and then if I go into the coma with you

104
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My wine self will take longer to age

105
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Exactly

106
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And wine is better old

107
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And then I'm going to have to wait for you to be 80

108
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To get the strong salt and pepper type that you'd normally be when you're 40

109
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And that's not why I married you

110
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I know, you married me to give me the strong salt and pepper type

111
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Yes

112
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When you're 40

113
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Okay, I support you in this

114
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and I just

115
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we're getting real close to fall

116
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so

117
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I gotta do this real quick before before you go Yeah Kiss me I gonna miss this

118
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You'll be fine.

119
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Let me play with your hair.

120
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Oh, it's so soft.

121
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You'll be okay.

122
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You'll be alright.

123
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Hold on.

124
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I want to put my finger on your lips like a shh.

125
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Let me do it.

126
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My baby.

127
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okay well I have an appointment with science gotta go

128
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cut to nine months later

129
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oh I feel so refreshed who are you what who is this it's me it's it's your honey

130
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Oh, I went gay

131
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What? No, no, no, I wasn't

132
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I hibernate for nine months and you go gay?

133
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I couldn't go to other women, I love you too much

134
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Wait, before I go

135
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Wait, you're leaving?

136
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I have to go be gay

137
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no no

138
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stay here be straight

139
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be straight with me

140
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please

141
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I'm trying to be straight with you

142
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I'm good as

143
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go on

144
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god that was sassy wordplay

145
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you really are gay

146
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wait before you go

147
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what

148
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I'm gonna blow you a kiss

149
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no

150
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bye bitch

151
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no

152
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scene

153
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We'll see you next week.